BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz! (With Special Bonus Contest!)

(A glimpse inside the mind of a minimalist.)

In addition to being restorative, sleep can also be transformative, and like many people, I often awake in the morning full of inspiration, clever ideas, and urine. (Though unlike many people, I also often awake on the fire escape with pigeons eating muffin crumbs out of my navel.) Such was the case this morning, when I awoke with an idea that was so clever and so inspirational it was if the Almighty Lobster Himself (or Herself, I never really did get a handle on lobster-sexing) was speaking to me in a booming voice from His (or Her) Claws of Benevolence. And of course I could barely wait to share my divine crustacean-inspired idea with my readers, for it would surely change the world.

Unfortunately, in the process of shooing away the pigeons and voiding my bladder off the fire escape I completely forgot my idea. However, instead of coming to you empty-handed (and empty-bladdered) I instead decided to substitute it with a different and far lamer idea. This lame idea has to do with Zany Bicycle Cockpits (or" ZBC"s), like this one which I posted not too long ago:

In fact, as you may recall, I have mentioned the possibility of giving away a Cockpit of the Year award (or "Cockie"), and even went so far as to construct a prototype statuette:

Well, as you might have guessed, fabricating that "Cockie" was a lot of work, and I'm now so fond of it I've decided to keep it. However, as you may have noticed in the right-hand margin, I am fortunate enough to have a sponsor in the form of a smug coffee cooperative called Just Coffee. Moreover, they even offer a "BSNYC/RTMS Blend of Disapproval," which is not a joke and which actually exists. Here is a picture of it, with an Edgar Allen Poe bobblehead included for scale:

Well, Just Coffee have been kind enough to Sponsor the First Annual BSNYC/RTMS Cockpit of the Year Award, and here's how I've hastily decided it will work:

Submit your photo of a ZBC via email with the subject line "I WANNA COCKIE!" no later than Friday, October 15th, 2010. This can be a ZBC you've spotted in the wild, or it can be your own, but it should not be one you "curated" simply to win a "Cockie." (Of course, I have no way of verifying this, so I ask that you adhere to the honor system.) Then, once the submissions are in, I'll pick the winners, or pick some finalists and open it up to a vote, or consult a spiritual medium, or whatever I feel like doing at the time. If, after all this mishigas, your photo is one of the top three, here's what you get:

1st place*: Six (6) bags (or "fun sacks") of my BSNYC/RTMS self-promotional coffee beans**;

2nd place*: Four (4) "fun sacks" of my BSNYC/RTMS drinkable stimulant**;

3rd place*: Two (2) "fun sacks" of my BSNYC/RTMS 100% fair trade potable gimmickry**;

Everyone else: Nothing.

*(Prizes do not include Edgar Allen Poe bobblehead.)

**(Please drink responsibly. BSNYC/RTMS Industries shall not be responsible for seizures caused by excessive caffeine consumption.)

Also, I should add that if you've sent a cockpit shot that has previously been posted on this blog, and you want it to be considered for a "Cockie," you should re-submit that photo in accordance with the aforementioned contest rules.

Hopefully all that made sense--I made it up as I went along.

With that out of the way, I'm now pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right then good for you, and if you're wrong you'll see flat-fixing.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and watch out for cockpits. (Also, looking forward to seeing some of you at Landry's bike shop in Boston, MA next Friday, October 1st, where I will be having a BRA that will be positively stuffed with action.)

--BSNYC/RTMS

1) Which of the following is not cited as an inspiration for the scent of Rapha Performance Skincare?

--Cedar
--Lavender
--Pine
--Teen spirit

("Greetings from Smugtown, USA")

2) A bus driver in Portland, OR was recently fired for:

--Doing 75mph in a 30mph zone

--Failing to yield to a cargo bike

--Reading a Kindle while driving

--"Foffing off" at the wheel

3) This wheel setup is known as the:

--"Spokane tubeless"

--"Tacoma tubular"

--"Minneapolis mullet"

--"Rhode Island rim job"

("How many babies does that weigh?")

4) Babies continue to gain traction as a unit of weight measurement for bicycles.

--True

--False

5) Which is not an item on the hipster Christian checklist?

--Sponsor church outings to microbreweries

--Use Helvetica fonts as much as possible

--Curate a voluminous and Christlike beard

--Show clips from R-rated Cohen Brothers films (e.g., No Country for Old Men, Fargo) during services

6) Robots. Douchebags imitating Jerry Lee Lewis. Scarves made of flexible air ducts that imprison your hands. All of these things are examples of:

--"Galactic Minimalism"

--"Douche-tastic Onanism"

--"Futuristic Primitivism"

--"Conceptual Wankery"

("All You Haters See My Bulge")

7) The discount code for the De Marchi Contour Short, available from the "Secret Website," is "AYHSMB."

--True
--False

***Unsafe-For-(Legitimate)-Work Fixed-Gear Freestyle-Themed Bonus Question***

(There's gotta be an easier way to scratch your "pants yabbies.")

The opposite of the "elephant trunk skid" is the:

--"Ass-over-bar skid"

--"Reverse cowgirl"

--"Serge Huercio taint-fakie"
--"Rhode Island rim job"