Thursday, March 18, 2010

Under the Table: Baby Got Beard

Like most living creatures, I have a morning routine. Once I manage to harness the power of gravity and pull myself down from the ceiling, I kneel before my lobster fountain and perform my daily ablutions. (Despite how it sounds, "ablution" is ceremonial washing, not a stomach-flattening exercise.) Then, it's breakfast, after which I walk my helper monkey Vito to school (he's studying HVAC repair at a local technical institution), followed by a "period of reflection" in the bathroom, during which I read The New Yorker.

I have a knuckle-tattoo-cliché relationship with The New Yorker, the latter part of which is due almost entirely to "pop music critic" Sasha Frere-Jones. I have nothing against pop music or pop culture, and like any member of the coveted 18-59 demographic I consume my share. However, I don't read The New Yorker for pop culture; I read it for its coverage of "highbrow" subjects I'm too intellectually lazy to explore firsthand, and I'd rather read a lengthy article about an avant-garde composer I'll never listen to than a thousand words about some band I'm all too familiar with because their music is everwhere. Reading endless variations on "it's catchy" fortified with gratuitous references to the writer's record collection is a lot like reading most bicycle reviews, which are basically riffs on the "laterally stiff and vertically compliant" theme substantiated by comparisons to the many exotic bicycles the reviewer has ridden.

Obviously, by this point I'm angry--angrier than one should really be in the bathroom--and so to calm myself I like to take a crack at the "Cartoon Caption Contest." Here's the most recent one:
Here's a closer look:

As you can see, a bunch of people are sitting around a table and engaged in various forms of personal recreation, and a woman with a book is looking quizzically at a man who appears to be doing nothing. As it was, I didn't find it particularly compelling, but once I added some "motion lines" to his right shoulder and a lascivious smile the caption practically wrote itself:
If you're offended at the implication that the gentleman is "foffing off" under there, I'd like to say two things in my own defense. Firstly, he's not necessarily foffing off; he could just be shaking up a Yoo-Hoo. Secondly, I draw my cartooning inspiration from my environment, and yesterday was St. Patrick's day--which, in New York, can be a sordid affair. Besides being a day to demonstrate your Irish pride, it's also a day during which New Yorkers with little or no Irish heritage like to reduce an entire culture to a stereotype by getting drunk. (It's sort of like a bunch of goyim celebrating Rosh Hashanah by eating bagels, saving money, and acting slightly neurotic.) On top of this, it was also a delightfully sunny day, so people were celebrating even more vigorously than usual. In fact, as I made my way through downtown Manhattan on my way back to Brooklyn, I noticed this:

I realize the quality of this photo is extremely poor (even by the already low photojournalistic standards of this blog), but when you see something like this you don't slow down and take time to frame the shot. Instead, you actually pick up speed, point the camera in the direction of the subject, and hope for the best. In any case, what's happening here is that the gentleman is lying on the sidewalk with his feet in the gutter. From a distance, he appeared to be passed out, and I worried that he might be in distress, but as I drew closer it seemed that he was at least partially conscious. Furthermore, his pants were unfastened, and his right hand was also moving suggestively. At this point, I abandoned my plan to offer assistance and instead chose to flee. Granted, he didn't seem to be doing all that well, but at least he was prepared, for he had a number of towelettes (Action Wipes? Doubtful, but still possible) at the ready:

I realize it's a disturbing image, but I will not shy from pointing my crappy lens in the general vicinity of reality.

Speaking of reality, the furthest you can get from it (at least in cycling terms) is the "concept bike," and the second-furthest is the bicycle concocted by a manufacturer of motor vehicles. A reader was kind enough to send me this machine, which is apparently BMW's attempt to build an über-douchey hybrid:

If you're looking to turn some heads at your next charity ride or spirited jaunt down the local recreational lane, this is undoubtedly the bicycle for you. However, the writer of the article obviously has only a passing familiarity with bike review-speak:

Firstly, everybody knows the adjective "beefy" should be reserved exclusively for the bottom bracket area. Even more unorthodox is comparing the weight of the bicycle to that of "a six-month-old child," a bizarre turn of phrase the reader made sure to point out to me. Of course, we've already seen milk used as a frame weight reference--you may recall that, when lifting the new Cervélo for the first time, Thor Hushovd said something strange along the lines of, "You know when you go to the store and buy milk? It weighs as much as that." So, maybe using babies is the next logical step. Perhaps people will soon stop you in the street and ask, "How many babies is your bike?". Or, maybe when you're at the LBS and you're shopping for a road bike, you'll cut the salesperson off and demand: "OK, enough technical jargon. Could you put that in babies please?". James Huang of Cyclingnews should have some fun with the new benchmark. I can't wait for him to hit the Dr. Spock books for pediatric metaphors.

Sure, it may seem unlikely that babies will become the new kilograms, but stranger things have happened. Since Monday's post, New York City has officially legalized beekeeping, and making honey is well on its way to becoming "Fixie 2.0." This is not limited to New York, either; another reader has forwarded me this:

Until now, a flat brim cap and a beard were all you needed to be "cool;" soon, you're going to need a pith helmet and a beard of bees:

Another growing trend is the Craigslist bicycle consultant, which I mentioned in yesterday's post. While some of these consultants profess knowledge of all aspects of cycling, others have highly specialized areas of expertise. Yet another reader has forwarded me the following listing, which I present below in abbreviated form and which is the work of someone who specializes in lightweight touring bicycles with an emphasis on "cockpit curation:"


The bars were designed specifically for minimizing wrist pressure on long rides. They can be adjusted so that a percentage of your weight is on your wrists, and the rest of the force is on your elbows, making for a much nicer ride. When you come to pick up the bike, I will measure you and set up the bars to fit your body perfectly. In an effort to make the bike even more comfortable, I will buy you a seat that fits you specifically. In my years of touring, I have found that the most important points on a bike are the contact points (the seat, bars, and cranks) and since I already covered the bars by going custom, and the cranks by going carbon, I’d like to buy you the best seat I’ve ever ridden: Alay’s racing saddle. Topeak makes a seat the utilizes an air filled bladder to control the pressure on certain *ahem* sensitive areas. It works wonders, but is a bit pricey, coming in at $130 plus tax. The seat comes in sever sizes, (small, medium, large,) so when you buy the bike, I’ll go down to the bike shop and pick you up one of these seats in your size. Also, to further sweeten the deal, I’m throwing in a bunch of accessories! When you come to pick up the bike, I’ll give you two Knog lights (one red, one white), an Axiom carbon fiber pump, a Cat Eye computer (with calorie counter), a pack of Park tool tube patches, a spare inner-tube, three tire levers, and a pack to hold it all.

I wonder how many babies this baby weighs. I also did not realize cranks were a "contact point"--foolishly, I've been placing my feet on the pedals instead of on the crank arms--though obviously the proverbial "centerpiece of the groupo" is the nearly vertical aerobar cockpit setup, for which the seller even provides an exquisitely-rendered schematic:

If nothing else, this goes to show how what might appear simply accidental is in fact often painstakingly calculated and planned. I guess some people work out their aerobar angles in the wind tunnel, while others do so by stretching their pencil compasses to their very limits.

But you don't need to travel to Vancouver to see innovative cockpits; we also have them right here in New York. Not only is the whole wooden bar thing still going strong:

But some people are also getting creative with bar wrapping:

From afar, it might just look like regular tape, but a closer look reveals it's actually made from Vittoria tires:

Note the bee-themed "colorway." I wonder if it matches the rider's beard.

132 comments:

Anonymous said...

thinking of burrotis

ant1 said...

ant1st!

Anonymous said...

new yorker inda crapper is the way to go

ant1 said...

snobby - "pop music critic" critic Sasha Frere-Jones

Anonymous said...

Score!

shoegazer said...

give a hoot - don't pollute

leroy said...

Note to self: never commute on a sexy bike. Never.

Good thing I don't have a sexy bike.

Bad Lawyer said...

A BMW's "push bike"...? I thought the idea of a bike was riding it?

poole said...

op10?

ant1 said...

snobby - avante garde?

BikeSnobNYC said...

Ant1,

I wouldn't make these mistakes if The New Yorker weren't so dumbed down now...

--BSNYC

shoegazer said...

an additional note:
oversized bottom bracket = disturbing hilarity
cheers!

ant1 said...

a frame that weighs over 12 kilograms. nice work there bmw.

Jefe said...

You were early today. Top 20.

ant1 said...

snobby - it's ok. i understand that with vito back in school, your editorial staff is cut in half. that and it makes the blog feel interactive.

DogShot said...

Whoa, early today. Here I was reading along at a leisurely pace when I came upon a reference to "yesterday's post" and it wasn't anything from Tuesday. The proverbial "light bulb" synapseway was lit so scrolling down I was surprised to see only 11 comments. Now, after composing this comment I may be reaching, but "Top Twenty!"

So, RTMS, no green beer yesterday?

Matt said...

No wonder the BMW frame weighs so much, it's made out of coal.

mikeweb said...

Nicely done ant1 and BL. Now please kindly report to anti-doping control.

Jefe said...

I'm afraid that the illegal drug distribution community is far ahead on pioneering the code word "babies" to represent kilograms. However, this usually has a markedly incriminating effect when one party appears on a federal wiretap requesting "half a baby." I cannot imagine the term will be anymore successful to advertise bicycles.

Anonymous said...

"The seat comes in sever sizes" - owwie!

This shit's why I'm not a pediatrician said...

Not only is it kinda bizzare to compare a bike to the weight of a child, the BMW ad copy is WRONG, at least for a human child. At the 50th percentile a 12-kg boy would be expected to be around 19 months of age (and around 24 months for girls). Unless different standards apply to Bavarian children. Or the children of BMW drivers who are bound to be superior in everything.

Google "Children's Growth Chart" on the interwebs.

dignan said...

BEEE FACE

10,000 Aches said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ken e. said...

mmm, burritos!

Born said...

After reading the title again, I couldn’t stop laughing. Could be taken in a few different ways. Classic post Snob. You obviously were not too traumatized by that guy in the street.

Dr. Makim ben'Dover said...

If Mr. Snobs had a Shimano drive, would anyone here give a shift?

mikeweb said...

Anyone notice that the gentleman to the far left in the New Yorker cartoon looks a bit like a certain *ahem* Rip Torn? More proof: note the full bottle of wine he looks to be enjoying... then again Rip is a Jack Daniels man...

Ronsonic said...

A well-known internet search engine says:
"Results 1 - 10 of about 13,600 for "beefy bottom bracket". (0.34 seconds)"

Anonymous Coward said...

Perhaps the man in the street was applying pressure to the wound created by his sever sized seat.

Top 30

Sarah P said...

Top 30!??K

Bob said...

Saying a frame weighs as much as milk either means Thor doesn't buy whole gallons, or he thinks the frame is heavy, because a gallon of milk weighs almost 9 lbs

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_much_does_a_gallon_of_milk_weigh

mikeweb said...

The E/A ratio (elbow to ass ratio) on that touring setup is very impressive.

nombei said...

March MaDnIzZzZzzzz!!!

heyjack70 said...

The bike with tire wrapped bars has brake levers and a front brake, but no cable connecting the two.

mikeweb said...

Funny about the Vittoria tire bar wrap - finally a good use for tubulars!

Anonymous said...

The practice of equipping a "townie" with suspension forks, I know manufacturers have been doing it for years, but it's really stupid man.
It must add four pounds - er, 1/2 babies - to the build just so you won't feel the seams of the sidewalk?

Anonymous said...

EPIC TACO

mikeweb said...

heyjack, didn't you read yesterday's post? That's the new wireless break (sic) setup!

Anonymous said...

12 Kg = 26ish lbs.

1) a 26 lb 6 month old? Musta been related to this guy:
EBAY

2) a 26lb road bike? musta been designed by these guys:
Designers

Strayhorn said...

About that caption contest: back in Ye Golden Dayes of SPy magazine the theory was advanced that every single illustration would work with the caption: "Geeze, what an asshole . . ."

In the years since, I've noticed that theory has now become a law.

Anonymous said...

Heyjack - looks like the Vittorias are covering the cables. but notice the stem to head tube height ratio is at least 1:1. Must be one of the old Centurions with a radically sloping top tube. This makes sense; the owner is an obvious weight weenie as evidenced by the lack of heavy lever hoods.

Lawrence of the Labia said...

WALK VITO

1859 DEMO

POOR FOTO

BABY KILO

AHEM AREA

fluffy said...

note there are aero bars ONLY on that bike, no flats or drops. you too can be the terror of the crowded bike trail as you weave along, elbows together at 8mph.

Anonymous said...

Doesn't the lightweight touring bike consultant sound exactly like The Onion's Smoove B?

"When you come to pick up the bike, I will measure you and set up the bars to fit your body perfectly. In an effort to make the bike even more comfortable, I will buy you a seat that fits you specifically."

Then I will hit you doggie style.

Udder said...

I'm trying to figure out how the brakes are applied on that ugly Centurion with the Vittoria tire bar wrap, because there are no brake cables coming from the levers (but there are brakes).

Of course that doesn't seem to matter to many riders these days.

Anonymous said...

Matt @ 12:13,

yessir, high grade coal at that.

Udder said...

Never mind, I see the cables under the tape now.

ervgopwr said...

Guess what I'm doing?

Sitting at my desk, not doing work...almost as good as foffing off...almost

ervgopwr said...

Oh shit, I'm #50! Got to start a new parade. Lets go over to CI.

Eager Beaver said...

One more day 'til MSR.

Oh boy, Oh boy, Oh boy!

RB1 said...

what i can't figure out is why the derailleur cage on that bmw bike looks so long . its nearly scraping the ground. is that normal these days ?

Anonymous said...

Anon 1:38 -- Not too often that a comment makes me lose it as bad as the Snob himself, but yours did!

"Finally, my dinner of lobster, shipped to me that morning in only the coldest of ice from the finest lobster region in all of Maine, will be completed and placed on the table. Along with the lobster will not only be melted butter, but also side dishes. Some of them will be corn, peas, and baked potato."

Smoove B said...

There will also be corn served.

Anonymous said...

You could just write a post about how cute your helper monkey is.

I am the engine said...

"shaking up a yahoo", I think somebody better get that to the urban dictionary, asap.

Here is the video for tomorrow, everything sounds better in italian.
(*stolen from cycle inquisition)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8lLXg2jI8Ac&feature=player_embedded

Why do I feel so dirty, while "shaking my San Pellegrino"

Anonymous said...

Did anyone else think that the bars of the custom curated cockpit looked like antennae, making the bike fit in well with todays bee theme?

Stupid Name said...

That is a really long derailleur on the BMW.

Any idea, which rocket scientist (Chinese Manufacturer)is responsible for that abortion?

Join the hummer, porsche, ferrari, maserati, bike insanity.

I can not believe that they have any real designers aiding and abetting in this crime.

Remember, it is always about the top tube.

Anonymous said...

I want a bike that weighs the same as two breasts instead.

MINGUStheMECHANIC said...

My bike is lighter than a 1 yr old crack baby who's midget mother also smoked a pack a day(approx. 19lbs)

Rode along side an alien on a JEEP mountain bike with aerobars, all bets are off.

Dr. Makim ben'Dover said...

If Mr. Snobs had a sheep drive, would anyone here give a flock?

Anonymous said...

Why would I want an expensive bike that I have to push? I saw pedals and cranks, so I am really confused.

Anonymous said...

really, the frame alone is 12 kg?? so if the frame is typically about 20% the weight of the bike, this bike weighs 60 kilos.

Vanonymous said...

"The seat comes in sever sizes, (small, medium, large)"

Just what I like to see, the words [bike] seat and sever in the same sentence.

Vanonymous said...

And to all the ladies out there, my sever size is large.

Paul Bowen said...

The woman in the cartoon is saying "Who would have guessed that Lenin was a Juggalo?"

3G said...

PULL UPS
GUTR FOFF
AUTO CAD

It's sort of like a bunch of goyim celebrating Rosh Hashanah by eating bagels, saving money, and acting slightly neurotic

As a Jew, I can confirm this stereotype

Having bees in brooklyn isn't anything new either . Wu-Tang has been swarmming killer bees for decades. Hipsters = Wu Tang 2.0?

Anonymous said...

GERMAN MILK IS HEAVY!!!1

that's all

Anonymous said...

http://www.chicagobreakingnews.com/2010/03/semitrailer-truck-honey-illinois-state-police-tollway-spill-ramp.html


The senseless insanity of those militant urban bee keepers.

Anonymous said...

The cockpit curation on that Fuji has been tried before. Think Floyd Landis.

http://www.pezcyclingnews.com/photos/races06/tdf06/tdftech/tt-floyd273a.jpg

Salty Seattle said...

burrotis are the Epic Burrito Mondays of Thursday.

2 birds 1 stone said...

I perform 2 types of meditation in the bathroom during my morning ritual.

Flat bar Fred said...

Are all hybrids douchey? My lower back can't take the cramped cockpit of drop bars. Does reversing or flopping drops help?

mikeweb said...

Dick of the day award:

http://www.thewashcycle.com/2010/03/tony-kornheiser-allegedly-condones-running-down-cyclists.html

and LA is going on the show with him tomorrow via phone.

Doug Mayer said...

Nice, you saw a fastboy. FWIW, I trust wood bars more than I do carbon fiber.

Anonymous said...

Isn't a half baby called a "Solomon"?

ant1 said...

anon 4:25 - nice

Anonymous said...

Wood bars over Carbon bars? seriously?

sufferist said...

I think that what BMW meant about the anthracite is that as you ride it, the pressure turns it into a diamond. Which as we know is the most bomb-proof substance known to man, thus you only have to worry about your rims doing that taco thing.

Don Myrah said...

top eighty!!!!

John Tomac said...

top eighty!!
you gotta be heavy to create sufficient pressure for a diamond
maybe the lightweight crowd can only generate coal--that'll teach those lightweight bastards--darn you Ned Overend!!!

Bisso said...

i know you said it hours ago Bad Lawyer, but a bicycle is referred to as a pushbike or a pushie here in the antipodean colonies

Cognorant said...

mikeweb,

I read a little bit of that transcript and, yeah, it's hard to imagine how people can be that ignorant. I will never defend those types of uninformed opinions.

However.......I just recently went for a real ride for the first time in many months. The most annoying thing on the road, by far, was cyclists. I'm not talking about the obvious newbies, kids, families, posuers etc. I'm talking about the guys who by all appearances should know what they're doing. I'm regularly surprised that more of them are not hurt by accident as they have such utter disregard for anyone else on the road. I'm all for taking a lane when you need to but seriously, share the road goes two ways.

Again I do not condone the "running down" of cyclists and I try to be patient but sometimes they really do ask for it.

Anonymous said...

Anthracite is crabon 0.5

Anonymous said...

Cognorant, please elaborate what behaviors you found so annoying.

San Fran Nan said...

I'm about to fuck over every single right-wing bastard in the country and there is nothing you can do about it.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA

Anonymous said...

ANTH CITE

COAL DUST

carboniferous

tepidfare said...

really? just buy some tape, it's like two PBRs for cloth or three for cork.

Anonymous said...

Bars: Totally custom to maximize comfort on long rides (analyzed at Emily Carr University)

Explain analyzed?
Sounds like a class project...he chose his crappy bike...
I'd give it an "F"

Anonymous said...

Holy Cr@p! Life imitates Art, or the converse of the opposite, or something.

"...I will escort you to my crib, where I will prepare for you a romantic meal comprised of succulent lobster from the finest sea. We will both eat the lobster and enjoy a side dish of rice with it. There will also be a baked potato waiting for you, and some butter for you to place upon that potato. In addition, there will be sour cream, which you may also put on the potato if you so desire."

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/37319

Cognorant said...

Anon 6:46

Well there's just too much of it to go to any great detail but I'll describe a couple of the regular occurrences that set me off.

#1 Many times when there's a bad intersection or a road crossing a path where the car has the right of way cars will stop anyway to be helpful. Sometimes I wave them through because either I'm stopped already or simply because they have the right of way. Many times that is answered with inividuals or groups of cyclists blasting past me and into the path of the car who is just starting to move. (and there's plenty of time for hte cyclists to see what's going on and adjust)

#2 I'm nearly stopped, signaling, making a left turn from a bike lane out into the road to make a left turn. Cyclist approaches from behind and passes on the left.

#3 I'm waiting to pass a slower cyclist until the oncoming traffic is clear with another cyclist sucking my wheel and just as I pull out (signaling), the wheel sucker cuts me off and passes causing me to nearly crash.

#4 Riding at a quickish pace in a bike lane and some unknown (to me) wheel sucker decides to ride my ass on a crowded street then crashes into me when I have to stop for a car door.

Just a few...

Salty Seattle said...

mikeweb-

That's why Kornholio got booted of MNF.

TOTL DUCH

Salty Seattle said...

Anon 5:14-

Cause it looks classier under a bottle of single-malt.

Test Tickle said...

BSNY - "everwhere"?

I am the engine - it's Yoo-Hoo, not "yahoo."

SPEL CHKR

balls.

Anonymous said...

"The Burrotis are Epic here, but there is a wait"

Anonymous said...

i truthfully adore your own writing taste, very useful,
don't quit and keep penning simply because it just simply truly worth to read it.
impatient to find out a whole lot more of your content articles, good bye!

andrew said...

"beefy" also applied to fork blades in early Bike Nashbar catalogs (1981-82).

You neglected to point out the Craisglist poster's offer of "sever" saddles...what they sever I'd like not to contemplate.

Nogocyclist said...

What ever happened to 99?

Where is she now?

Nogocyclist said...

Oh well, Century Podium.

Cocklepagnolo said...

Massive fanny.

I am the engine said...

Trust me it is yahoo.

Not like the search engine, not like the chocolaty flavored drink, like yahoooooo.

bob - milk isn't heavy, he's my brother.

They buy milk in liters in socialistic european countries.

"approximately 1 quart" for those of you who have gotten an american education.

Wooden bars are carbon bars 0.00005
(or is it the other way around?)

uiscebaetha said...

The combination of today's hangover and that oversized bottom bracket video made me dry heave for about two minutes.

Anonymous said...

cock

cyclotourist said...

Pretty low/late in the comments, but true believers must know of the RTMS/Rivendell collabo: http://www.flickr.com/photos/35176895@N03/4444474652/

Bad Lawyer said...

From the Charlotte Observer:

Funeral services are pending for Adam Wesley Little, a noted bicyclist and manager of a Carolinas racing team, who was struck and killed by a car Wednesday morning near Concord.

Police say Little, 35, of Mount Pleasant, died after being struck while riding southbound on N.C. 49 near U.S. 601. The collision happened about 7:30 a.m., when Little was riding to work in Charlotte.

No one else was injured in the crash.

Stacy Renee Shaw, 24, who was driving the 1995 Nissan that struck Little, was charged with misdemeanor death by vehicle in connection with the crash. She was also charged with a child restraint violation.

Little was North Carolina manager of the Subaru Gary Fisher Road Team, a professional cycling team whose founders include George Hincapie, a former teammate of Lance Armstrong. The team has 22 members and competes in races across the country. Little was successful in racing, having won a number of events in recent years.

Police say he was wearing proper safety gear, including a helmet, and he had a safety light on the back of his bicycle.



Read more: http://www.charlotteobserver.com/2010/03/18/1321252/man-killed-when-bike-hit-by-car.html#ixzz0ia4LdQvP

Anonymous said...

Milk: 6 month Baby: Pediatric Reference:

The next in the progression is a womans
boobway filled with milk.

A Crabon frame bike would be one breastway,
aluminum frameway might be two, Tenax-Columbia-Reynolds frame curation might be two largeway breastways,
etc.

You Are Banned From Commenting: said...

san fran nan
a. franken
edom/jolene/rikim
chinese govt hackers
online nike offprice retailers
mello yello
anon college student who has been "greetly helpd by your artikel for an assinement"

Choosing the Best Chamois/butter said...

It'aint easy

Coastiedouche said...

Bikesnob Your lucky that wanker didnt give you the old "Jodie Foster pass" while she was going through the hallway to see Hanibal Leckter. On the other hand that might be one of the smarter fixie moves Ive seen.I do think brake levers are very neccesary for position since 95% of the time riders use the hoods to ride.Something fixiedouches usually eschew for the sake of fitting in. Along with all the other dumb things they do to be accepted as by the fixie rulebook.You ever see a fixie douchebag take off from a dead start at the light when they have bars 9" wide? It takes them forever to get going due to the insufficient leverage.Hey but it looks really bitchin.

Born said...

Dear Snob,

I knew you guys were jealous of us Canadians but now you are trying to invade us on bikes? You could have just asked for some maple syrup and some lessons on hockey. We might have a inferior military then you, but this is just an insult! Or is this a case of your military trying to be more environmentally conscious by invading by bike instead of tanks and airplanes? Either way I fear for my life and pray to the mighty lobster for guidance...


Article here: http://www.vancouversun.com/news/Armed+American+crosses+border+bicycle+arrested+Sask/2699452/story.html

YABFC said...

also:
Dr. Makim
Geckhouse
Concerned

did I forget anyone?

kerry said...

more rogue roos
http://au.news.yahoo.com/a/-/latest/6956494/roo-knocks-out-jogger/

JeFF said...

Recently a full XTR BMW "mountain" bike came into the shop.

What a disaster!

The owner would not disclose how much he parted with for the bike, perhaps sparing himself the criticism it would have wrought.

I should have taken a picture for you

Oh, and naturally, it was as clean as his X5 parked out front...

weird style diktat said...

@Born
We're just testing your security.
Looks like when we invade it will need to appear less suspiciously male.

The article does make me want to start a toting-bike movement.
You can tote almost anything!

I had an anthracite frame but it always left black marks on my light-colored clothing so I got rid of it.

Pontius Pilate said...

HAIL CSZR

Vir Pelosus aut fortis aut libidinosus.

-P.P.

Oh Nevermind said...

Fastboy bike! Ezra seems like a good guy. I think he lives in Harlem. And he makes excellent bikes. People seem to like his wooden handlebars. Nice lock-up job. I think I would probably ride the bike into whatever store or restaurant I was visiting and eat/shop while sitting on it though.

CommieCanuck said...

BMW marketers are specialists at targeting the ultimate customer, known in their native Germany as "Der überdouche".

The whole trick is make some shitty piece of transportation, paint it dark metallic silver then price it at some ridiculous level so they have to rent it. (80% of BMW sales are "leases"). The other trick is to make the vehicle self-destruct after three years, forcing another lease.
26lbs is a fucking heavy POS. No doubt the douche you see riding this will stare at you smugly, or pass you dangerously for no apparent reason, wearing $200 sunglasses, also leased.

SHIT EBMW

ant1 said...

PHIL WOOD

RIP

Jefe said...

I can confirm Phil Wood passed away in Iowa at age 84, but Tom Boonen is alive, dammit, and is ready to take on that carmel-toothed Cavendish anytime.

Coastiedouche said...

Jefe I just noticed today at San Remo that Cav has braces.Perhaps hes going against the grain in Britain of proper dental Hygeine.Ironic since hes probably under Columbias health plan and its ruined his spring results so far.

Anonymous said...

1st?

Lila Frazier said...

Ahhhh biking! What a relief.

lol said...

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