Friday, September 24, 2010

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz! (With Special Bonus Contest!)

(A glimpse inside the mind of a minimalist.)

In addition to being restorative, sleep can also be transformative, and like many people, I often awake in the morning full of inspiration, clever ideas, and urine. (Though unlike many people, I also often awake on the fire escape with pigeons eating muffin crumbs out of my navel.) Such was the case this morning, when I awoke with an idea that was so clever and so inspirational it was if the Almighty Lobster Himself (or Herself, I never really did get a handle on lobster-sexing) was speaking to me in a booming voice from His (or Her) Claws of Benevolence. And of course I could barely wait to share my divine crustacean-inspired idea with my readers, for it would surely change the world.

Unfortunately, in the process of shooing away the pigeons and voiding my bladder off the fire escape I completely forgot my idea. However, instead of coming to you empty-handed (and empty-bladdered) I instead decided to substitute it with a different and far lamer idea. This lame idea has to do with Zany Bicycle Cockpits (or" ZBC"s), like this one which I posted not too long ago:


In fact, as you may recall, I have mentioned the possibility of giving away a Cockpit of the Year award (or "Cockie"), and even went so far as to construct a prototype statuette:

Well, as you might have guessed, fabricating that "Cockie" was a lot of work, and I'm now so fond of it I've decided to keep it. However, as you may have noticed in the right-hand margin, I am fortunate enough to have a sponsor in the form of a smug coffee cooperative called Just Coffee. Moreover, they even offer a "BSNYC/RTMS Blend of Disapproval," which is not a joke and which actually exists. Here is a picture of it, with an Edgar Allen Poe bobblehead included for scale:

Well, Just Coffee have been kind enough to Sponsor the First Annual BSNYC/RTMS Cockpit of the Year Award, and here's how I've hastily decided it will work:

Submit your photo of a ZBC via email with the subject line "I WANNA COCKIE!" no later than Friday, October 15th, 2010. This can be a ZBC you've spotted in the wild, or it can be your own, but it should not be one you "curated" simply to win a "Cockie." (Of course, I have no way of verifying this, so I ask that you adhere to the honor system.) Then, once the submissions are in, I'll pick the winners, or pick some finalists and open it up to a vote, or consult a spiritual medium, or whatever I feel like doing at the time. If, after all this mishigas, your photo is one of the top three, here's what you get:

1st place*: Six (6) bags (or "fun sacks") of my BSNYC/RTMS self-promotional coffee beans**;

2nd place*: Four (4) "fun sacks" of my BSNYC/RTMS drinkable stimulant**;

3rd place*: Two (2) "fun sacks" of my BSNYC/RTMS 100% fair trade potable gimmickry**;

Everyone else: Nothing.

*(Prizes do not include Edgar Allen Poe bobblehead.)
**(Please drink responsibly. BSNYC/RTMS Industries shall not be responsible for seizures caused by excessive caffeine consumption.)

Also, I should add that if you've sent a cockpit shot that has previously been posted on this blog, and you want it to be considered for a "Cockie," you should re-submit that photo in accordance with the aforementioned contest rules.

Hopefully all that made sense--I made it up as I went along.

With that out of the way, I'm now pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right then good for you, and if you're wrong you'll see flat-fixing.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and watch out for cockpits. (Also, looking forward to seeing some of you at Landry's bike shop in Boston, MA next Friday, October 1st, where I will be having a BRA that will be positively stuffed with action.)


--BSNYC/RTMS





1) Which of the following is not cited as an inspiration for the scent of Rapha Performance Skincare?

--Cedar
--Lavender
--Pine
--Teen spirit





("Greetings from Smugtown, USA")

2) A bus driver in Portland, OR was recently fired for:






3) This wheel setup is known as the:





4) Babies continue to gain traction as a unit of weight measurement for bicycles.






5) Which is not an item on the hipster Christian checklist?






6) Robots. Douchebags imitating Jerry Lee Lewis. Scarves made of flexible air ducts that imprison your hands. All of these things are examples of:






("All You Haters See My Bulge")

7) The discount code for the De Marchi Contour Short, available from the "Secret Website," is "AYHSMB."

--True
--False




***Unsafe-For-(Legitimate)-Work Fixed-Gear Freestyle-Themed Bonus Question***


The opposite of the "elephant trunk skid" is the:

73 comments:

samh said...

Somebody set up us the bomb.

xyxax said...

podantic

crosspalms said...

first?

samh said...

#HighFiveFriday @reubenhecht

IAN! said...

3!

'Pole said...

podium

Anonymous said...

I liked Valerie Bertinelli better when she was tubby.

Nogocyclist said...

Top 100

Molly Malone said...

Cockie-doodle doo

Anonymous said...

snuck into the top ten with a massive sprint!

streepo said...

You flip the lobster over. Check the appendages at the top of the tail before the body. If they are bony and stiff, it is a male. If they are feathery and soft, the lobster God is a female.

Anonymous said...

1st!

ringcycles said...

must have used the wrong embrocation. But I smell pretty!

the bike dork said...

I love you Bike Dork...

CommieCanuck said...

road island rim job

shoegazer said...

what could possibly go wrong with belgium knee warmers on my german johnston?

Anonymous said...

I recently started reading your blog. I'm almost afraid to ask because you're so opinionated, but have you ever done a post that served as a primer or recommended some books?

I had a Lejeune when I was a teenager, but it was stolen during my first semester of college. I haven't been on a bike in decades. But in part because I'm furious with the MTA, I'm considering buying a bicycle. I'm trying to figure out how realistic that would be, however.

I used to ride from an Outer Borough to Manhattan on my own, which, for a young woman, was always a little uncomfortable because of the catcalls. There also were hardly any bike paths and I remember some scary moments braking on oil-slicked streets.

Thanks.

ringcycles said...

is there honor amongst cyclists who covet clutching a cockie?

Comment deleted said...

Forecast: Quicksquirt would hit it.

Morgan said...

Please ask before handling? I need a sign like that for my crotchway.

6LBS BABY
ASKB 4HDL

hillbilly said...

cockie-blocked

yofilly said...

I haven't taken a quiz in months, and now I remember why. I think I got 3 right.

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone. Gonna ride my bicycle from the beach to the city. :-)

Jefe said...

Wait, you don't wake up with an erection? Change your saddle, dude.

ant1 said...

ant1st!

ken e. said...

"Chuck D is the one who pushes the button..."

mikeweb said...

Too bad DeMarchi couldn't have sponsored the Cockie. Just would've seemed more, um, appropriate.

CommieCanuck said...

is there honor amongst cyclists who covet clutching a cockie?

ECGOT

Emmy
Cockie
Grammy
Oscar
Tony

I just need a nice cockie.

frilly said...

Nothing against the sponsor cuz God knows I love coffee, but wouldn't a summer sausage be an appropriate addition to the prize package?

Anonymous said...

I hate coffee. This contest SUX!

roomservicetaco said...

FWIW, I'd love to see a contest category that allowed for curated ZBC's. Perhaps the winner could take home the coveted Bamboo Cockie.

PawnShop said...

anon@1:37,
By all means, start riding again - and welcome back. The overall environment for cycling as a useful means of transportation has never been better, and it improves with each additional rider.

WRT books, I'm sure Snobby will think of something. A fine read in its own right, but I'm partial to something older, but relevant nonetheless ( you'll even learn how to fix a flat ).

As for what to ride, your imagination & budget are the only limitations. For entry-level commuting, it's hard to beat the value of a crappy used mountain bike, but you might want to avoid buying one in Seattle or Portland.
BCKN DSDL

Anonymous said...

Huh huh. She said "prize package."

Huh.

PawnShop said...

Reading through yesterday's comments, it occurred to me that in damn near five decades, I'd never, even once, thought about goose genitals. Thanks to wiwm, now I have. I was hoping for a more profound sign that when I die my life will have been complete. Guess I gotta take what I can get. Meh.

frilly said...

Jefe, prior to the lesson in male physiology, I was going to say something about how I think of you often too. Never mind.

Anonymous said...

NSFW YEA!

crosspalms said...

@Frilly, maybe the bobblehead's actually Edgar Allen Pole.

Anonymous said...

Frilly wants a summer sausage in her prize package? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

Lantern Rouge said...

OK, am I the only one who thinks samh needs to be tested for PEDs?

When someone goes on a streak like this, I immediately assume he's "changed his training program".

Jefe said...

Frilly, Snob was also running a McDonald's ad earlier and they have sausage on a biscuit. Or were you thinking ... oh.

Quicksquirt McHurt said...

I'd hit it.

Linda said...

I love you, but I need Dick.

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

spicy or sweet?

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

Did we actually miss this , this week of all weeks?

frilly said...

Spicy!

Anonymous said...

Rhode Island rimjob! Awesome! While I don't exactly know what this is, I have a strong feeling one could purchase such a service at our fine strip clubs/ brothels down between the waterfront and rt 95. Male, female, bearded, smooth... I'm sure it's all available. Stop in on your way to boston or relax after Providence cross fest with a fine rimjob.

Anonymous said...

No such thing as a 1st annual. It's just a 1st. 2nd or 3rd annual OK, but no 1st annual.

Octavian said...

Fell asleep reading today's post and had a dream that I was explaining leather chamois and Rapha creams to somebody on an elevator.

Woke up to the drumming and singing of the Happy Hebrews who are camping in their backyard next door and a mysterious blister on my foot.

Anonymous said...

Reverse Cowgirl! hOLYcOw! What a reward for the friday fun quizz! Never thought I`d get annexray view of LynnN PopPz top tube grunt&milgy sausers! I thought she was history!

commoncents said...

THANKS for posting! I love your
blog!!

Steve
Common Cents
http://www.commoncts.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

I'm getting Rhode Island Rim Job tattooed around my taint. Thank you for the inspiration bsnyc

Pontius Pilate said...

HAIL CSZR

-P.P.

Anonymous said...

Edgar Allan Poe is my great-great-great-etc. uncle. John Allan, Edgar's relative who quasi-adopted and then horrifically abused Edgar, is my great-great-great-etc. grandfather. If not for the penchant for child abuse in my ancestors, we would not have the macabre literary cornucopia that was produced by E.A. Poe.

You may thank me and my genes later.

bikesgonewild said...

...1st annual = positive thinking w/ a side of expectations...

Fonzie, check out these water skis! said...

Popular search engine loses its mind, spends seven figures on a stupid bike idea.

Anonymous said...

"I...look up at stars in distant galaxies." Uh, actually all the stars visible to the naked human eye are within our own Milkyway Galaxy.

There is only one faint galaxy visible with unaided vision.

Mr. Minimalist failed his astronomy quiz.

Dr. Black said...

The galaxy is on Orion's Belt.

bikesgonewild said...

...btw, today, friday, september 24th is 'national punctuation day'...

...bwahahahaaaaaa !!!...

Anonymous said...

Thank you very much, PawnShop!

I'm not at all averse to learning how to tune up a bicycle or to change a tire, but when I was a teenager, my father wasn't around (males tended to know more about mechanics back then), and there weren't any friendly bike shops in my area.

Anonymous said...

PawnShop (and anyone else who cares to answer):

Where would you buy a used bicycle? Off Craigslist? From a store?

What stores in Manhattan, Brooklyn, and Queens do you recommend?

BTW, this blog isn't searchable, is it? I looked for a search form, but maybe I missed it.

Thanks again.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Pawnshop, always glad to be of service.

Anonymous said...

wishiwasmerckx said...

"Pawnshop, always glad to be of service."

And why not? I always try to help people if I can.

As I said, I appreciate the information.

We are all slaves to China said...

I hear that Wal-Mart sells entry-level fixed gear urban commuter bicycles at affordable price points.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Anon 9:32, I never know if someone is goofing, but it scares me when tech questions are so basic that a luddite like me can answer them.

There is a search window located at the upper left corner of the post. It is not powered by the best search engine ever, but it is there.

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crosspalms said...

Staring into the void, then voiding into the stairs. A philosophical start to the day.

Anonymous said...

wait, how do i send you my cockie submission?

Andrew said...

oh my, what splendid writing! i love this. Snob, i wish you could come out to humboldt county, CA and rip everybody out here a new one, where we aren't even callous to it (as I'm sure new yorkers are, and i don't mean that as an insult to anybody).

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Here what i found -> vision correction

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fixie bikes said...

Nothing is ever "just coffee"

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