Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Menace to Propriety: Sharing the Road

In yesterday's post, I mentioned an enraged woman who was buzzed by either an "asshat" or a person wearing an asshat. Sadly, we may never get to hear the asshat's side of the story--though if he was wearing lycra and riding fast on a road bike in Prospect Park at midday (instead of in the early morning when actual sanctioned road races take place) then we can probably infer that he's a "Classic Fred." (As opposed to a "Nü-Fred," in which case he would have been doing the same thing on an IRO with really long bullhorns while wearing a skateboard helmet and a Kryptonite lock around his waist.) Still, it's impossible to know whether or not he'd be contrite. Generally, "Classic Freds" do not admit wrongdoing, and instead prefer to shout "On your left!" to children on training wheels and parents pushing strollers as their baggy Primal jerseys flutter imperially in the breeze. However, some menaces do feel remorse--so much so that they seek absolution in the online confessional that is the Craigslist "Missed Connections." Here's one example:



woman i knocked over on bianci 5th ave 13st - m4w
Date: 2009-08-08, 10:16AM EDT


i hope you see this or tell someone your story who reads this and tells you. i am still feeling very bad and sorry for almost running you over today on 5th ave by 13th street and making you fall over on your bike. I didnt see you but thats no excuse it was totally my fault and you were so sweet and nice about it which makes me feel worse. you had every right to curse me out or slap me and you just stayed posative and nice. Please if you find anything wrong with your bike just let me know i will pay whatever cost to fix it or at least let me make it up to you somehow.


I'm not sure what the poster almost ran over the cyclist with but I'm assuming it was a car. Also, without even looking at her bike I can tell that there is something wrong with it, since it's in dire need of an "h." However, not all menacing drivers are praising cyclists for their "posativity." In fact, some people think cyclists are the real menace:


This searing letter to the editors of the Kennebec Journal and/or Morning Sentinel is nothing short of of incendiary, and the author's anger is both palpable and rubbable. Indeed, she's so enraged that she actually says joggers and cyclists are as big a problem as Canadian tourists. (I believe that last week the Kennebec Journal published another letter entitled "Canadian Tourists are Eroding Our Moral Fiber and Possibly Eating Our Children.") This is because joggers and cyclists not only cause "passing traffic to gawk at them," but also because they cause drivers to "turn out for them."

Ordinarily a letter like this might make me angry, but in this case it just seems quaint in a New Englandy kind of way. First of all, if people in this part of Maine are gawking at joggers and cyclists to the point that it's making them late to work then they're obviously pretty naive. (Presumably they're also gawking at Canadians, though if I saw one eating a small child I suppose I'd gawk too.) Speaking of naiveté, take this headline, which ran right next to the letter:

Now there's a shocker.

Also noteworthy was the accusation that joggers and cyclists are causing drivers to "turn out for them." Now, I always thought that "turning out" was what a pimp did when he put a woman to work for him--even Wikipedia agrees. So when the author of the letter says that joggers and cyclists make drivers "turn out for them" does this mean that they're actually driving the members of this community to lives of prostitution? If they are then I guess she has a right to be upset. One morning your neighbors are driving to work, then they see someone wantonly running in a pair of Sauconys or wearing a Primal jersey and riding a Trek 1000, and next thing you know they're in the parking lot of a Dunkin' Donuts selling handjobs to Canadian tourists. Certainly then "curating" a sternly-worded letter to the editors of the Kennebec Journal is in order, lest the place turn into some degenerate cesspool of sex, Canadians, and fitness.

Still, she should think "posatively" and be thankful that she doesn't live in New York City. Another reader recently informed me of a photography project called "A Girl's Bike."

If you're the sort of person who is liable to be driven to gawking and prostitution by cyclists then the streets of New York should be sufficient to turn you into a character from "Dolemite."

Most importantly, the letter writer should also learn how to "Share The Road," as recommended by what may very well be the most contradictory licenseplateway ever minted by any one of the 50-ish United States:

The reader to whom this belongs assures me that it is not a vanity plate and that the letters were in fact randomly generated by the state of Oregon. Still, I'm sure you'll agree that the fact that an Oregonian license plate actually depicts a bicycle with a derailleur is top-shelf irony. Actually, derailleurs seem to be vanishing everywhere. Just a few years ago, it was difficult to find a frame with horizontal dropouts or track ends. Now, it seems like everywhere you look--whether it's your LBS, eBay, or Craigslist--someone's trying to sell you a track bike. Really, finding a frame that will accept a derailleur is almost as hard as finding a seller who will accept low balls:

Honestly, I don't understand why the seller is making such a big deal. If someone wants to buy the frame, what difference does it make how low their "pants yabbies" may hang? High and tight, low and pendulous, or completely nonexistent--none of these qualities should have any bearing on the transaction. In fairness to the seller, though, it's possible he's had problems in the past with buyers returning the frame for inadequate testicular clearance. However, to them I say "caveat emptor." (That's retail-pretentious for "All You Buyers Mind Your Balls.") Plus, they can always install a top tube pad:

I haven't been seeing quite as many top tube pads recently and was beginning to think they'd gone the way of the flop-and-chop, so I was pleased (and by "pleased" I mean "horrified") to find that they're still not only readily available but also highly customizable. This particular top tube paddery assures you that one of these things will make your bike "protected and fanciful" and that they are not "just for the 'hipsters'"--despite the fact that being "protected and fanciful" is what hipsterism is all about. Plus, if this bike doesn't belong to a hipster then I'll eat a Brooks saddle:

Ugly! pads are $20, with a $3 upcharge for "Hella Ugly!" and a $1.50 premium for a "lock loop." (Presumably the lock loop will foil top tube pad thieves, who are notorious for both their velcro expertise and their complete inability to operate scissors.) However, if this is too expensive for you, you can also purchase one for $12 from Republic Bike--just in case your Urban Outfitters special isn't already colorful enough:


Or, you can just try to purchase this "one of a kind" fixed-gear which was forwarded by a reader, and which features a leather top tube pad and random sterling silver bits to augment the crappy parts:


This should make a nice gap bike while you wait for your Aurumania.

Speaking of balls, not too long ago I read in VeloNews that basketball player Deron Williams would compete against Floyd Landis in a time trial:

I was amused to note that Landis would "school Williams on the intricacies of a time trial," and I wondered if that schooling would involve demonstrating the proper application of a testosterone patch to the scrotum. Well, apparently not, because the competition took place this past Friday, and it turns out it was Williams who actually "schooled" Landis. Here's Williams in "Classic Fred" attire:


Even though Williams had a head start, Landis's loss should ensure that his name continues to be followed by the word "Ouch" long after he leaves his current team:

Really, the only way for Landis to redeem himself for this loss would be if Williams were to now test "posative" for performance-enhancing drugs. Well, that, or if Shaquille O'Neal were to also beat Lance Armstrong in their own upcoming novelty race. This way there would be headlines reading "Shaq Shucks Schlepping Shacker" and everyone would forget about Landis due to all the awful puns. Ouch.

117 comments:

Luck E. Seven said...

SLOW NLOW


.-

displacedcalifornian said...

podium wahoooooo!!

Pontius Pilate said...

Another Top Ten finish! Time for some afternoon crucifixions.

What I have written I have written.

Hail Caesar!

P.P.

Anonymous said...

Loud Obbs!

Asshat said...

Heh

wishiwasmerckx said...

Top 10?

rezado said...

France is no gouda

mikeweb said...

Elbow to the chops!

ant1 said...

ant1st!

Anonymous said...

Chavanel!

France still out of the top ten...

ant1 said...

typo: (and by "pleased" I mean "horrfied")

Dee Kellan said...

TOP 20!! WooHoooo!!!!!

ant1 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
wishiwasmerckx said...

Commiecanuck, when eating a New England child whilst vacationing in Maine, do you recommend starting at the head or at the feet?

hillbilly said...

horrfied?

rtms - so glad you didn't understand a word of that marketing speak yesterday either, one of the many reasons i love you, er, in a manly way....

Anonymous said...

top 20 with very low balls

MINGUStheMECHANIC said...

Posa Tive

honkybucket said...

Those RSS feeds you podium hogs use to enhance your comment standings should be banned. They're like the EPO of the whole comment race thing -- completely unregulated and damaging to the competitive integrity of the race.

mikeweb said...

A NYT piece about the New Sands St. bike lane complete with angry comments about how cyclists are the most dangerous thing for pedestrians since the invention of the drive-by.

Also, I've met Noah and he's a nice guy.

ant1 said...

belmont - I have never tested posative for rss feeds. Dr. Santuccione is my family doctor. I was not seen training with Dr. Ferrari. My lawyers will contact you regarding your slanderous comments.

kale said...

mikeweb-

So it's pretty much business as usual...

(& as long as the crazies aren't talking about Obama's "death panels", I guess it's a good thing.)

Anonymous said...

Paradoxically, when the weather gets cooler the market for that bike could expand.

Anonymous said...

The purpose of ny craiglist is to:
a: bitch about other bikers,
(probably not, you should keep it to yourself)
b: apologize for your transgression,
(probably not, that is why they make confessionals)
c: Sell bike frames to others,
(probably not, you are not really motivated)
d: the equivalent of a hand job for canadians

You crack me up snobby, are you sure your home life is ok.

Anonymous said...

I didn't realize that NYC bike riders were running down so many pedestrians. Do you get different points for different targets?

Seanywonton said...

Anybody seen these dorky "non-dorky" helmets?
Looks like a mini-head sauna if you ask me:
http://www.50cycles.com/yakkay-gallery.php
But at least you will look cool with the hat option, I've always thought encephalitis was a pretty stylish look.

Anonymous said...

this morning I saw a lady wearing helmet and such, including bike-to-work crap (t-shirt, free rucksack for lunchables etc.) was blasting along, crossed the double line, used a garage driveway to continue up and onto the sidewalk, took the sidewalk as her own, made a left at the corner, and yelled at a driver who was looking left while leaving a driveway. sheesh. then I saw another woman on some three-wheeled object (propelled by a cross-country skiing motion) on a major avenue sporting lycra shorts with day-glo panels ala 80s nashbar. so I twisted out my organic cig, and went back into the office.

Anonymous said...

That long ball bike has a "vintage patina," which is bike pretentious for fucked up.

Anonymous said...

anon 233 - It's like that hunting game at the BCC (or Nest for the nerds) - you only get points for the bulls, and there's always cows running into your shots when you don't want them to

Critical Ass said...

Snob,

If you end up having to eat a Brooks saddle, this guy can give you some pointers on how to tenderize and prepare it. It might be easier to watch on a Wednesday.

Anonymous said...

hey snob, have you been spotted?

http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/mis/1317331435.html

hahahaha

slppy said...

bythe by snobby thatsure was a swell article in outside about sswc except for the part were sswc09 Durango wasn't mentioned.. that's alright, you'll be there.. better watch out

Anonymous said...

When did bib shorts become Fred attire?

Do I need to cut the bibs and put a string around the waist to avoid Fredness?

mikeweb said...

Seany, those things remind me of horse riding helmets, which I actually saw a woman on bike sporting last weekend on the BB.

Isolation Helmet said...

I clicked through to the Buddha to Buddha site and one thing you forgot to mention is that the sterling silver bike was the result of a hookup, no collabo or curation but acutal sex!

bikesgonewild said...

...non sequitur referencing yesterdays comment by shaqstrongsux:- hey dumb-dumb...rinaldo nocentini...say it w/ me slowly...rin-al-do noc-en-tini...

...the guy who wore the yellow for eight(8) days has a name SO-O-O italian that although he rode for a french team, the team became honorary italians rather than the other way around...

Astroluc (Find me on Tumblr and Instagram @Astroluc) said...

ahh MAINE ...the Way Life Should Be

mikeweb said...

I think we haven't heard from commie canuck yet because right now he's driving top speed to Maine.

grog said...

AYBMYB
All You Buyers Mind Your Balls
MAIS OUI!

LK said...

DOLOMITE is DY-NO-MITE!

http://tinyurl.com/l36qod

hillbilly said...

mikeweb - I can't enter that argument again (I'm sure I will in 5 minutes)...makes my head want to explode. i agree with your comments though, so perhaps from now on you could just sign off with "+1 from Hillbilly" or something?

bikesgonewild said...

...historical reference comment that prob'ly bears no significance on this post but hey, wtf...

...when the rallying cry during the spanish american war was "remember the MAINE !!!", i don't think this was what they had in mind...

mikeweb said...

Thanks hillbilly, I guess I have too much energy today. BTW, it's funny that kale mentioned the "death panel" wackos, since I posted a Salon piece on my FB page about that. I'm a little surprised at the number of my 'friends' on there who talk like a bunch of card carrying ditto-heads.

Mad Jack McMad said...

Dear Sir or Madam,
As a Canadian who occasionally visits Maine, I'd just like to say that I have never knowingly eaten a baby; and that on those occasions where it later turned out I had eaten a baby, I had usually been told ahead of time that it was pork or some sort of lobster dish (often by an American). Furthermore I have found that those of my compatriots who are baby eaters, either professionally or by avocation, rarely leave the country.

Yours Respectfully,

Maj. Charles "Weston-super-Mare" Hougoumont (Mrs.)

mikeweb said...

bgw, maybe they can "repurpose" that rallying cry as "Remember the MAINE children!!!"

I don't think the traffic clogging Canadian tourists and bikers will be detered though...

bikesgonewild said...

...mr.complaint said...

"DOLOMITE is DY-NO-MITE!"...

...yo...dolomite be here to fuck up some mothafucka's & slap him some bitches...
...be makin' 'shaft' look like some kinda pussy !!!...

Seanywonton said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bikesgonewild said...

...hmmm...do they have mothafucka's n' bitches in maine ???...

...seems awfully, well, you know, white up there...

...just sayin'...

Seanywonton said...

I'm going to go for first tomorrow and be like "Dolomite muthafucka!"

kale said...

mikeweb-

I think too many people saw "Soylent Green" and got turned off by the idea of the right to die. But hey, if strawberry jam was like $1000, wouldn't you at least try the stuff?

Who would have thought that Mr. Heston would have this big of an effect on politics, but that's getting too far - and that kind of talk is banned from this Forum.

yogisurf said...

There's no way I'd put the DETH plate on my auto. I have to turn it in. We face that daily. Well, maybe if it was DETHMTL.

Luck E. Seven said...

WOOF!

I was mesmerized by the "A Girl's Bike" shopping catalog for pimps.

It's cool that such flip books exist, cuz I never really know where my next batch of hos is comin' from or if they'll be ugos.

PIMP HAND


.-

Wes said...

I like the way the Republic bike top tube pad is available in four different colour(ways) - white, black, green and white.

DrZRM said...

Snob,

Just wanted to point out, and can't believe you didn't notice, that the Republic bike top tube pad is offered in "four colors: white, black, green and white."

Anonymous said...

I saw like 10 of the Republic bikes this weekend and was really surprised at how fast they spread into the population.

Anonymous said...

Way to go Doctor - look up one comment.

honkybucket said...

Ant1,

That Dr. Santuccione is more corrupt than the freakin' Canadian mafia (specifically, those members hailing from the Nova Scotian peninsula.) Go ahead and have your lawyers get in contact, as I've already retained the great Jackie Childs, who's characterized your accusations of slander as "pandering, preposterous and pernicious."

Meantime, I'll be sprinting for the podium the old fashioned way -- sitting at home by myself, collecting the unemployment checks, and hitting the browser's refresh button every three minutes.

GiG said...

So I take from this that I should buy a Republic bike in green, black or white or white. Got it.

libertyonbikes! said...

thanks for the Nu Fred reminder,
the reminder of the pains you go through being tragically hip.

great post all the way down,
I mean to the down,
down tube pads.

now if these guys will start doing
pedal grinds down hand rails I'll be happy.
Why?
so Velocity can start doing colorways indeepv's for wheelchairs,
and
so I can watch hipsters huck themselves,
like lemmings,
down the stairs.

Anonymous said...

Maybe you need to learn to stay upright on the bike you've got first.

Anonymous said...

Ouch!

Salty Seattle said...

Damn!

I hope the flu shot gets upgraded to help stop the spread of Republic Bikes this year. Sounds like it's aerosolized already.

kale said...

"Once they reached the Pool Party, there was no stopping the Hi-Tendinitis"

Vance Longwell said...

And if they're Republican it's "Neo-Fred".

This too. At least it's not "labia-palp-able". Of course, labia-rubbable is just silly.

bikesgonewild said...

...luck e 7...shit, mofo...that be one cool knuck tat fo'sho'...

...PIMP HAND...

...damn...

...bitches be bowin' n' kissin' yo ass & mothafucka's be buyin' ya drinks when they see that shit...

...damn, son...

Ev said...

this one was great. lots of little creative jokings going on. super-bee!

tom said...

LOWE BALS

Anonymous said...

A giraffe walks into a bar and says "hey everybody, the high balls are on me!"

ant1 said...

belmont,

the old fashioned way is not hitting "the browser's refresh button" every 3 minutes, unless that's what the kids are calling it nowawednesdays.

bikesgonewild said...

...fo foty fo...groan...

d. fofonov said...

Babushka is sending me message on her yablicka (she has no pants yabbies but is funny as I am think) speaking she wants me to traveling to Minsk to installing Death Panels on the walls of her room of recreation and occasional sex. She is not being certain as to what Death Panels are looking (perhaps resembling walnut or other fine wood) but if they are being popular with Obama she is insisting on having them.

ant1 said...

hey fofonov, looks like you signed with the kazakh national team. congrats. say hi to vino for us, and tell him his new jersey is awesome.

Luck E. Seven said...

BGW,

I keeps my pimp hand STRONG!

FIRST! muthafuckas, yeah! you know...FTW!

Now backdafuckup while I fits me a "Handstrong" baller band about my wrist and fingabangs bof a dem podium hoes.

Luck E. Seven'll crack ya ass!!



.-

fixie god said...

woman i bowled over on 42'nd
i was the strikingly handsome fixie rider, swooping down from the clouds to salmon amoung the mortals. you, distracted by my stunning steed or the way the sun gleamed off my freshly gel'd coiffure, didn't move out of the way and i slammed you into the pavement. maybe it was the cute little snot bubble or that dazed look in your eyes but something tells me you'd like to 'hook up'. you can find me at olympus practicing my track stands.

bikesgonewild said...

...thank god my african/american, hey wait, let's just keep that, black friends don't read bike blogs...

...'cuz "lucy, chew got son esplainin' to do !!!"...

...oh, damn...now i think i also just offended my old cubana chick ex-...

...being political correct: it's such a bitch...

Test Tickle said...

yo, I be turnin' out beatches on the regular!

balls.

Kurt Vonnegut is King said...

As an ex-pat Canadian, I should have you know that I came here for the babies, but I stayed for the handjobs.

red neckerson said...

so i looked at them dykes on bikes photos and im telling you their are some hippy chiks that i think would cause you some bodily damage if they gots holt of you and im not just talking about all them wiurd diseases they gots and its like id be singing to them i wanna be dead in bed so kill me cos that would thrill me but most of them are reely lesbos so i say fuck em

bikesgonepsychotic said...

...eat shit mutha fuck...screw bitch achoo...bad Tourettes today...gotta take my meds but THE VOICES keep telling me to fuck off...well fuck...I really mean it, just go fuck...just sayin'...

bikesgonewild said...

...wow, bikesgonepsychotic...can't wait for you to do a book of these wonderfully original witticisms...

...looking forward to THAT day...

...lotsa "fucking" luck, amigo & even w/ those meds, don't forget to ride yer bike...it'll help take the "edge" off...

...just, you know, sayin'...

Anonymous said...

Comedy gold. You must have had a nice weekend. Thought you'd have 100+ comments by 4:45 MT. Wednesday Weed on Tuesday.

bikesgonewild said...

...hey, alright...something that actually deserves commenting on...

...chris horner takes over the lead at the end of the afternoon time trial in france's tour de l'ain...vino won the tt but horner assumed the lead by 19 seconds after finishing 2nd in the morning road stage & 3rd in the tt...

...props to the lad...

leroy said...

Are you a Classic Fred if you ride shortly after the Prospect Park race but while the "Caution High Speed Bike Race In Progress" sign is still up?

I'm not asking for me.

A friend wants to know.

Really. Not me. Honest.

I had a sprained lip and couldn't have read the sign that morning.

Anonymous said...

MUF DVR

Anonymous said...

HFS. What a feast and the courses never stopped 'sex,canadians and fitness', 'classic fred', and then you dig up 'protected and fanciful' sounds like a marketing demographicthat was one hilarious post Mr. bsnyc
Thank you

Nexus said...

What the f@ck is this woman jogger wearing if she pisses off another woman that badly? A g-string and a wet, t-shirt... I hope. Someone get pics please!

And that guy in the pothole on the bridge article who, "... was unconscious for days and lost his memory for three weeks." Hell, that happened to me last time I went out drinking with guys in my hockey team. Great night !!

g said...

bgw....
Leads to the question of where he'll be next year. Now rumors have him at Astana, Letle Viride and the Bridesmaid Hincappie at BMC. The Shack is not quite as full as one might have thought?

AngryBikeWrench said...

BSNYC, I'd like to offer to bear your offspring. If you'd like to reciprocate, I can be found at Angry Bike Wrench.

Anonymous said...

http://gainesville.craigslist.org/bik/1318555312.html
I see so much sketchy stuff but never have a camera. This may finally be my opportunity to contribute.

Anonymous said...

The ashat incident reminds me of a time in late spring when I rode/walked my Dunelt to the Manhattan-side base of the Brooklyn Bridge. I noticed a lot of cops on the way up, and as I stopped to take some photos of the skyline I saw a couple of fixie hipsters careening toward Manhattan -- right into the cops' clutches. Tried to warn one of the speedsters of this as he approached me; what do I get for my troubles? Hipster tried to spit on me. So I nudged him with my shoulder as he passed me, sending him right into the stone railing and (it looked like it at the time, anyway) almost over the side into the traffic lanes below. My shoulder hurt for the rest of the week after that, but IT WAS WORTH IT!!!!

bikesgonewild said...

...g...interesting...gotta say i hadn't heard that but i haven't really been searching out the scuttlebutt...

...now ya got me intrigued & i'll be looking a little deeper...

...i know nobody is gonna build a team around chris horner but damn, i hope he gets a great ride...

...guy deserves it...

bikesgonewild said...

...hah, i love it !!!...sergio paulinho, you know, 'berto contador's selected lieutenant for the tour de france & a man who was privy to any & all of the background machinations during the lead-up as well as the race itself, just signed w/ armstrong's 'shack' team...

...guess he wasn't too put off by all the "evil" i keep hearing was propagated by armstrong, huh ???...or is somebody gonna tell me it's just for the money...

...you don't sign yer life over to ride for someone that you don't feel comfortable w/ or trust...you're in too close a contact w/ other team members as a pro cyclist to not totally be on board...

...& jose azevedo, after years of riding by armstrong's side, didn't seem too upset to come back & work w/ the man again as a directuer sportif this time around...

...hmmm...starting to think this armstrong fella couldn't be quite as bad as some folks make out...

...just sayin'...

Unknown said...

Jennifer in Madison must really start to tremble uncontrollably when the nearly 3,000 bicyclist roll through "her" town for the Trek Across Maine (http://www.lungme.org/site/c.ghLSJ7PLKuG/b.3006643/k.C197/Trek_Across_Maine.htm) each year! She doesn't need to travel north, as we have our own idiots driving the roads in The County.

ringcycles said...

As the canuck comic Mike Meyers penned "Mmm, baby, the other other white meat."

ant1 said...

Go Horner! It's nice to see him in a leader's jersey for a change. He's a damn good domestique, but he definitely deserves to have others work for him every now and then. I hope he signs with someone who'll give him that chance next year. In the meantime, I'll be cheering for him to get the us champ's jersey in greenville later this month. I'll be the drunk retard with the "this is redneck country" tshirt on paris mountain.

REDN ECK!

g said...

ant1,
make sure you cut the sleeves off. Or roll a pack of Lucky Strikes into them with the Skoal can in your back pocket.
Wish I could make it up there.

Anonymous said...

They may have given us the Dutch bike, but look at what we are sending them. I wonder if it is just a coincidence that the model shown is in TDF colorway?

goto: http://technology.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/tech_and_web/article6790450.ece

Luck E. Seven said...

See?! Armstrong has a healthy pimp hand. Look at his stable of hoes lining up all loyal like and shit.

You know...



.-

Gretzky said...

Hi.

hillbilly said...

100, just because...

Anonymous said...

Please forward the address of the "Bike Menace" woman in Kenebec. I want to beat her with a U-Lock.

In NJ legislators are attempting to pass a law making "turning out" a legal requirement. Whores!

10,000 Aches said...

I'm late to the party, but...

four colors: white, black, green and white

kale said...

i'm feeling the red gold and green colourway today

oyo bumbaclot

innerlighter said...

I'm thinking maybe yesterday's "Asshat" and today's offender are maybe listening to too much System of a Down...


mow down the sexy people...

Ode said...

Speaking to your segment about the editorial where Cyclists and Runners are the real menace... Check out what was in one of our local Newspapers up here in Edmonton, Alberta.

http://www.edmontonsun.com/comment/editorial/2009/07/17/10163471-sun.html

The day that was published, I encountered at least 5x the hostility of drivers towards cyclists on the road. I had 3-4 trucks pass by, either leaning on their horns or flipping me off for no reason at all. It's amazing what a redneck newspaper can do to inspire their redneck readers.

Anonymous said...

FLPM EOFF

jolene said...

yall call us redneck like it a bad thing sept antl id hit that ifn i saw his on a hill come to viper and ware a redneck shirt

Anonymous said...

Really, Jolene? Its all about the t-shirt for you? I would have thought it might be the drunk retard bit. But, I have to agree with you, I'd probably hit it too regardless.

King Lou said...

More bike rage!!!!

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/mis/1317352948.html

Anonymous said...

Poor Jennifer Jean Matthew, she is only jealous. I'd hate joggers, too, if I were an obese whale that needed a scooter to get around the grocery store!

Tim G said...

Actually, I just took a vacation in Portland, OR and I was pleasantly surprised to notice an abundance of derailleurs - the place was positively awash with them. I saw very few of the hipster fixies which swarm my native San Francisco (which is strange in itself, since Portland is fairly flat in comparison). There were a few fixies and single-speeds here and there, but most folks seemed to rock a regular road bike.

marlo said...

You're the guy who says the European style city bike is akin to an SUV.
okay... that's pretty fucking STUPID. It's a bicycle.
Ever heard of Apples and Oranges, dick?
And that these bikes "create an illusion of safety"
What the fuck is that supposed to mean.
Illusion of safety. hm.
One thing I know is I have greater visibility and simultaneously am more visible when I am sitting up taller on my Dutch bike rather than hunched over on my mountain bike.
What else..
You are a know-nothing, attention-seeking...
Oh I will refrain from using the words that come to mind.
Words like Dickhead, Douchebag and the like.
Thanks for being antagonistic to the evolution of bike culture in New York,
DICK. Given a choice, on a bicycle in the city would you rather feel hunched low and demeaned, peering up neanderthal-like from under lowered brow; or comfortable and dignified, sitting upright and gentle, the way the Europeans, specifically the Dutch have done for ages.
Dude, you better re-assess your position and come out from behind that tree.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I86G5jDDeaw&feature=PlayList&p=7EF9C156B925737A&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=2

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qj8uzIYUPEQ&feature=PlayList&p=7EF9C156B925737A&index=3&playnext=2&playnext_from=PL

jc said...

On the 19th you wrote "For example, if you ride your mountain bike offroad most of the time but occasionally need to throw some slicks on it (like to win a road race) I can certainly understand."

However, a careful reading of that ownership study reveals "The crowd and other riders were shocked that a mountain bike had won a road race, especially as I was on knobbly tyres."

(Knobbly. Gotta love them Brits!)

Are you trolling to see if we're really paying attention? Don't you trust us to slavishly follow you into every nook and cranny, Snob?

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Dion @ UGLY! Pads said...

I'm just stoked I got on Bike Snob. :o)

-Dion @ UGLY! Pads

Anonymous said...

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