Thursday, March 5, 2009

Gold Standard: Cutting to the Chase

Thanks to a reader tipoff, I recently found myself visiting the Aurumania website and checking out their flagship fixed-gear, the "Gold Bike Crystal Edition":



I don't know what kind of components the "Gold Bike Crystal Edition" has, and the website wasn't any help. However, it does have some elegant design features, such as the company's logo spelled out in Braille with Swarovski crystals on the "crossbar":



I often get up before dawn to ride my bicycle, and when I do I'm reluctant to turn on the lights because my helper monkey, Vito, gets very irritable if I wake him up before 10:30am. (Trust me, the last thing you want to deal with is an irritable helper monkey.) For this reason, the Braille logo is an attractive touch--that way, if I want to ride my "Gold Bike Crystal Edition", all I need to do is feel it out. This is a nice enough feature that I'd even be willing to pay extra for it. So I checked out the price of the "Gold Bike Crystal Edition," and learned that it costs €80,000.

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "That's ridiculous!" Well, I disagree. First of all, there are only ten of these--ten!--which means you'll be one in only 676,462,532.2 people in the world to own one. (And with more humans constantly being born even as I type this, your club gets more exclusive every day.) Second of all, the Euro/Dollar exchange rate is much more friendly to Americans these days, so the bike's a relative bargain at just over $100,000. Also, it has a "ten-year, no questions guarantee" (so if you get wasted on vintage Dom Perignon and crash it into your Giacometti while fixed-gear freestyling in your sculpture garden you don't have to use the old "just riding along" excuse) and it "will be delivered to you anywhere in the world via White Glove Service," which is a hell of a lot more than you can say about a Scattante.

Still, though, you're probably not convinced. Not only is this clearly just a gold-plated SE Premium Ale with the brakes removed, but it's also completely ridiculous to spend this much for any bicycle. Only a complete idiot would possibly even contemplate buying such a thing. Well, maybe, but I really don't think the "Gold Bike Crystal Edition" is all that ridiculous, especially in the context of cycling as it is today. In fact, it's a relative bargain.

After all, when we upgrade our frames and components, what are we really paying for? We're paying for different colors and different names. Take the fixed-gear rider who purchases a $480 Mercier Kilo TT Pro from Bikesdirect:


Well, any "hardcore" cyclist can see that this bike needs some upgrades. First of all, you need some decent pedals, clips, and straps to use with your tattered sneakers. That's at least $50.

Also, that headset's probably got loose bearings. Sure, it might be serviceable, and in theory it will last a long time, but if you're going to be riding around on the streets (without a fender) you really need something "bulletproof." The "experts" on the various bike forums will doubtless vouch for the cost-effectiveness of this upgrade. Plus, as a bonus, "bulletproof" headsets come in a wide range of colors, and you're already a little self-conscious about riding an out-of-the-box bike. So you upgrade the headset.

Cost: $120

Next, you'll start thinking about those wheels. They're machine-built, and if they haven't been touched up by hand they may be going out of true. A little forum research will probably reveal that those wheels are "crap," and that they should be upgraded. Makes sense--after all, they were right about the headset. So you do it, but you only have enough money for the rear right now. First you buy the more expensive, "bulletproof" cartridge bearing rear hub by which everybody swears, and which is obviously way, way better than your current cartridge bearing rear hub:

Cost: $170

Of course, you're not going to put your cheap cog on that hub. Plus, the threading of the "bulletproof" hub is different anyway. So you get a cog and lockring both compatible with and worthy of your "bulletproof" rear hub:

Cost: $80

And it goes without saying you're not going to put that cheap rim on that hub. You're going to get something "bulletproof," and which, as a bonus, is available in colors that match your "bulletproof" headset:

Cost: $65

By the time you've got your spokes and nipples and someone to build it for you figure you've spend around $400. Or $450, since you're going to upgrade your tires too, and there are some cool ones that come in white.

Now that you're ripping around town on your increasingly "bulletproof" bicycle (total cost of bike to date: $1,100) you're starting to realize that drop bars without brake hoods aren't especially comfortable. You're also not going to go "flop and chop" on an increasingly color-coordinated and "bulletproof" bicycle. No, you're thinking you might want to go with some flat bars or risers. Since your "whip" is growing increasingly "tight," you figure you'll spend a little extra on something with some flair--and which, happily, is available in a variety of colors to match your increasingly color-coordinated bicycle. And $65 isn't that much to spend on a bar, is it? Crabon bars are way more expensive. This will not only require new bars, but also a new stem, since you've got to dial in your reach. And of course inexpensive aluminum stems fail all the time. You need something "bulletproof" that's "beautifully machined" and will complement your bars.

Cost (bar, stem, and grips): $130

Oh, and around this time you see an almost-new front mag-style wheel on Craigslist for only $200. Your front wheel has been holding up fine, but it doesn't really match your rear. And this wheel matches perfectly. Plus, you figure it's always good to have a spare front at home. Sold.

You've now crossed the fixie rubicon. Your whip is "tight" enough that you're becoming more involved in the "scene," and you're starting to get compliments. However, certain things are starting to bother you. You've got a sweet machined "bulletproof" stem but just a cheap aluminum seatpost. Sure, it's holding your seat in place just fine, but your stem's companion post is just so sexy. By this point you've realized you can't keep paying full retail at bike shops, so you're watching eBay constantly. Finally, you snag a practically new post with "minimal insertion marks" for $50. The money you've saved also justifies the purchase of a new seat, since the idea of clamping that cheap stock piece of foam on your sexy new post has secretly been driving you crazy. You manage to get a vintage used Italian saddle for only $45, as full of soul as it is of a stranger's ass sweat.

Cost (post, saddle, shipping): $100

Around this time, you find yourself shopping for a new chainring since you need to be able to change your gearing and sometimes you want to change chainrings instead of cogs. Chainrings are relatively inexpensive, so you don't feel guilty about it. But you start to realize that there aren't quite as many 1/8" chainring options for your 130bcd cranks as there are for 144bcd cranks. And anyway, you've got a pretty nice track bike now--shouldn't it run the track standard? Plus, a new crank is an investment in the future, since when you wear out your chainrings you'll have a much wider selection next time you go chainring shopping. Oh, and it has to match your "bulletproof" anodized componentry:

Cost: $300

By now the total cost of your Bikesdirect fixed-gear is $1,830. This figure does not include the money you've also spent on a bag, and on hats, and on clothing. And it's really bothering you--not because you've somehow quadrupled the price of your bicycle in three months, but because you've now got all this great "bulletproof" componentry on a "cheap" frame. At this point, if you just move all that stuff over wholesale to a "better" frame, you'll really have yourself a nice bike. A bike you can be proud of, and which will serve as a flag to the "scene" that you're on the premises when it's locked up outside the bar. So you spend $1,500 on a new steel frame and fork.

You've now spent $3,300 for a $480 bike. Sure, it's a different color now and it's got a different decal on the downtube, but philosophically speaking it's the same bike. Yet you don't realize this--until it gets stolen from the front of the bar because you locked it to a chainlink fence with your u-lock.

If you're lucky, you kept most of those old parts as well as your old frame and you can cobble a "new" bike together--which is actually your "old" bike, but which of course cost you $3,300. Or, if you're unlucky, you'll go through the whole process again and by the end of the year end up having spent $6,600. (You can't go back to "cheap" bikes now that you know what "quality" is.)

So really, "upgrading" isn't upgrading at all--it's inflation. It might take you years to spend $100,000 on a bicycle, but don't worry, you'll get there. Since you're really just buying looks and status anyway, so you might as well get it over with.

By the way, if you don't have access to $100,000, you can still get in on the Aurumania action, since they have a less expensive model that's only €2,000:



At roughly $2,500, it's still way cheaper than that Mercier, and the shock-and-awe tactic of putting a $100,000 bike at the top of the range makes the price go down that much easier. You'll even have money left to buy more clothes--though as you can see from the site you'll look better riding it naked with just an Afro:



No, I'm convinced that the "Gold Bike Crystal Edition" is the way to go. Actually, I'm so convinced that I placed an order:




I figure that by the time they get back to me (or to 1-800-LAWYERS, since that's the contact number I used) I'll have figured out how to get the money. Maybe a cycling publication will foot the bill so I can do a test. In any event, the order's in:




All I've got to do now is sit back and wait for my dream bike!

First thing I'm gonna do is change that headset...

153 comments:

Anonymous said...

Going once

Anonymous said...

Going twice

Anonymous said...

Going thrice

Anonymous said...

Going for sweep!

Anonymous said...

I did it!!!!

Anonymous said...

yes!

RM said...

top ten RM~

drmarcj said...

whoa top ten???

Anonymous said...

Woot! Woot!

Johnny Sprocket said...

Top 10 yeah !

Anonymous said...

All you haters consider the infinite.

Johnny Sprocket said...

"Anons" are the EPO of the blog world.

ant1 said...

ant1st!

Helper Monkey said...

Mornin'!

Helper Monkey said...

"mornin'" was the first real comment!

CommieCanuck said...

Gold frames make excellent winter bikes, as gold is not prone to corrosion.

Seriously Snob, if you won the Powerball, tell me you WOULDN'T buy one, then tie it by the front wheel only in front of the Apple Store.

First thing I'd get is a mink top tube protector stuffed with Bald Eagle feathers.

I'm pretty sure John Thain ordered one of these after GW's bank bailout. He's going riding with Warren Buffet.

EPO said...

"Anons" are the CERA of the blog world.

worm irks said...

That Aurumania picture was an inspiration. That's going to be me, as soon as I grow my hair out and perm it up into a fro. I'm gonna ride the savanna with a spear and hunt gazelles.

Hello LBS. Got any spears?

Slappy said...

Can't wait to see your bike Snob. I'll hideout on the bridge and try to spot you riding by. Then we'll all know who you are.

Slappy said...

20th

Test Tickle said...

Damn Snob. Sounds like you have a ton of experience in this department (i.e. senseless upgrading). Did you just pull all of this from YOUR DIARY???

ant1 said...

Snobby - Why didn't you get the rack?

Wrench Monkey said...

Irritable helper monkeys are the best. At 1st I was irritated because you said 1 OF 676,462,532.2 instead of 1 IN 676,462,532.2, but then I read the rest of the post and its humor restored my humor. I give it an 8.9.

Nick said...

Keep in mind, these so called upgrades support our friends that work in the bike industry. From manufacturers to local shops.

Let the hipsters buy the parts they want at the prices they are willing to pay. It is their sub-culture afterall.

Gold Standard said...

Hey, that's my bike!

wishiwasmerckx said...

Snobbie, is that you rocking/running the 'fro? I repeat myself: Less "Rock out with your cock out." More "Jam out with your clam out." Enough with the sausage-fest already.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Test Tickle,

Yes, I have made many, many useless upgrades over the years. Sadly, I'll never recoup the expense, but the least I can do is try to warn others.

--BSNYC

PS: Fortunately though, Afros are free.

Ralphy said...

here are only ten of these--ten!--which means you'll be one of only 676,462,532.2 people in the world to own one

Buncha plebes, talking about buying 'one.' Ever hear of a pit bike?

wishiwasmerckx said...

Jew-fros are free.

Anonymous said...

How much for "All You Haters Suck My Balls" in Crystal Braille around the rims?

Anonymous said...

King headset.
phil hub
dura-ace cog and ring
deep-v
dt spokes
thomson post and stem

Anonymous said...

Michael Ball should buy all 10, how bling would that be strapped to the top of an Escalade?

mono_vs_stereo said...

Wow, highest finish ever.

Bandobras said...

I recall in the early 70s hearing of a bike in Toronto that cost over $1000 dollars. I and a couple of friends took a trip there, about 70 miles just to see it. It was actually kept inside a glass case because too many people were handling it.This was a time when you could get a sears ten speed for $65 bucks and I was earning $1.50 per hour at a part time job.
I'm thinking soon they'll be putting a $1000 dollar bike in a glass case again as an artifact of prehistoric importance.

Pulverized Concepts said...

I've done basically that very thing with a frame pulled out of the junk pile. Just need that new saddle and it'll be done.

el presidente bicisport said...

Isn't worshipping golded idols the 6 and 1/2th sign of the fixed gear apocolypse? I didn't notice earlier because I wasa cleaing out gunge from between the cogs of my cassette.

kale said...

Snob-

You need to submit this to Barack as a feasible economic stimulus plan.

It should work better than whatever is happening right now.

g said...

"a vintage used Italian saddle for only $45, as full of soul as it is of a stranger's ass sweat."

Has to be the best line ever typed on the interweb.

Bob said...

Can I test ride yours before placing my order? Thanks.

Pack Phil said...

as full of soul as it is of a stranger's ass sweat

Back in the day, my cube guest chair was next to my road bike. I had one female coworker who would sit in the chair and rest her arm on the saddle. Eventually I calculated how many ass-hours that saddle has endured, and she stopped resting her arm.

flynn said...

just upgraded my oso with golden tear drop bars

squib said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bikesgonewild said...

...gold standard = disappointing...

...please explain a plain steel chain...i mean, really ???...

...standard brooks w/ copper, not gold, rivets...wtf ???...

...no conti 4000gp tires w/ gold tread ???...damn...

...you can keep yer crystal brailled "crossbar"...jose feliciano ain't gonna be ridin' my auruwhip but obviously somebody's got availability issues & needs to delve a little deeper...

...for a 100g's, i'm just sayin'...

jolene said...

i done already sprayed my roadmaster with gold krylon it costed me 4 dolars whats the big deal it matches my tube top

bk jimmy said...

Snob, please, you don't order it yourself, you have "one of your staff" do it for you. (After all, what are paying that monkey for?)

Anyway, congratulations on your purchase. You'll soon be making attention-grapping statements all over town.

Anonymous said...

I think I am going to buy me one of those sweet Mercier bikes, paint every square millimeter of it gold with gold shaky paint (frame, bars, bar tape, rims, spokes, tires, chain, etc - gold paint everywhere!!) glue some chunks of broken glass to the top tube, and tell everyone that I'm riding a $100,000 bike. It's gonna be great. I'm gonna have to beat the chicks off with a stick when I show up at the next alley cat.

squib said...

Well not only that Bike Snob, this doesn't begin to address the problem of bike companies increasing cost while diminishing quality and price fixing the market.
For example all you have to do is look at that hipster icon the Bianchi Pista. Compare the specs and prices of the 2003 and the 2009 bikes not only was the 2003 better equipped it also had better geometry for intended purpose (track racing), and it cost almost 50% less. Or look at Cannondale's track bike from 2003 and the Capo of 2009. The list goes on and on.
And they have fixed prices in the market. All of the "street" fixed gear bikes all cost roughly $700 bucks. There is no price competition between the different labels. (Granted they're all made by Giant) This can only increase regardless of market conditions till the market complete dries up or lawsuits are filed.
And since when was Sugino RD cranks and Alex rims a selling point? It was gotten very bad indeed.

Anonymous said...

Forgot a comma -

I think I am going to buy me one of those sweet Mercier bikes, paint every square millimeter of it gold with gold shaky paint (frame, bars, bar tape, rims, spokes, tires, chain, etc - gold paint everywhere!!), glue some chunks of broken glass to the top tube, and tell everyone that I'm riding a $100,000 bike. It's gonna be great. I'm gonna have to beat the chicks off with a stick when I show up at the next alley cat.

Anonymous said...

FIRST!!

(just kidding, haha)

bikesgonewild said...

...jolene...that's a classy touch, baby...

...& speaking of "classy touch", didn't you used to dance at a little club down viper way called "the gold standard" ???...

frilly said...

Snobby, if thats you in the 'fro, we need to discuss an insertion mark collabo ASAP.

Kim Jong-il said...

Afros are not free to Asians.

Disgruntl Ed. said...

Nice post. Was going to say nice little post but we are past that post. But nice.

Way to go 2:51!

Enhancement Smoker said...

I saw that same "Lino" handlebar in the Adam & Eve catalog...except theirs was battery-powered.

CommieCanuck said...

Bandobras..$1000 bike, what bullshit.

The most expensive bike CCM ever made was like $89. And that was gold plated.

If you're going to ride that thing, you'll need a nice gold man-ring like this one.

Speaking of phoenixes (Pheonii?.

warning, blog whoring in progress

libertyonbikes! said...

The catch is, because it doesn't have brakes, sorry 'breaks', and gears, it seems that it will be less expensive to 'fix up'.

Could've had alot more bike for the money. But you can't buy sense, just street cred.

Perfect summary of the fixed gear scene, minus the tricks and tight jeans.

Test Tickle said...

BSNYC - Did you know they actually have cranks titled "Bulletproof"? I had no idea until now:

http://seattle.craigslist.org/oly/bik/1061723682.html

Brian said...

Don't forget the gold dirt equivalent from GT

Jim said...

One of these days, I'm going to get around to getting out my .300 Weatherby and testing whether all these components are "bulletproof."

I strongly, strongly suspect that a 310 grain full metal jacketed 300 Mag bullet is going to find a way through, for instance, a Chris King headset.

After that I'm calling 1-800-LAWYER$ and we're going to file a suit alleging false advertising and violations of the Mann Act and Sarbanes-Oxley.

Twist of Cain ... OH. said...

I think Prolly moved to Seattle:

http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/bik/1061146097.html

roomservicetaco said...

RTMS,

Make sure to keep a few dollars/euros for tires and clips/straps, as the Aurumania comes with neither.

Jim said...

It's gonna be great. I'm gonna have to beat the chicks off with a stick

I think it's more likely that you'll wind up beating yourself off, with or without the stick. Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course.

Anonymous said...

Anon 2:17, there's one glaring error in your synopsis. To attempt to use a Dura Ace lock ring on a Phil hub would surely result in much frustration at first and then immense sorrow after you realize that Phil requires ISO (i.e. Campy) lockrings, not British like the DA uses. There would be much weeping in Mudville indeed.
Damn, I'm good and damn, I'm a geek.

RM said...

At this point I can't remember if I started wearing tight jeans to show off what little made me a man, or if the tight jean wearing actually made me less of a man. Oh well at least let still let me sing in the all boys choir.

RM~

CommieCanuck said...

I've seen that afro guy somewhere..it's driving me crazy.

Wait.

found it.

ant1 said...

Frilly - damn! Good one though. My mind found the same gutter when I read insertion marks.

Charles Manson said...

Am I nuts, or does that Mercier have a GOLD chain?

Mark Insertion said...

How does Frilly know his name is Mark?

RM said...

wow am i drunk?

At least they still let me sing in the all boys choir.

RM~

Luck E. said...

Fucking inspired analysis. Thanks bike pimp.


A

mander said...

Great post. I'm considering myself zinged.

: (

Anonymous said...

wrench monkey: I weep for you. read it over, learn from it, it's ok I still like you.

ice cube said...

One of your finest posts to date BSNYC. You have deconstructed this silly little scene very, very tactfully. It is a scene in contrast to it's self.

Matt said...

Sure hope that's the titanium-railed Brooks saddle because if not, I can see the second upgrade this bike will need.

kale said...

I think my mind would explode if you started with a Casseroll Single, fixtating it out, then "upgrading" to Sora, then roading it to Campy, and finally to a Rohloff (or whatever) because they're so bulletproof.

knufuckyoules said...

STRO KEME.

M.C. Hammer said...

Dear Snob:
I wish they had these when I still had money.

P.S.
Can I borrow some cuff clips?

db said...

I can't wait to see the inevitable shaky cam footage of an irritable helper monkey contacting aurumania.com in order "to know more about progress with your order."

That will probably land you a development deal with VS.

thejakesnakes said...

First thing I'd do is match the tire labels to the tube valves.

Anonymous said...

Ummm I own the Mercier Kilo TT from Bikes Direct. I only paid $350 for mine. $480 would mean there is some sort of hipster inflation right? Woah is the economy springing back as time does as well?

thejakesnakes said...

The night bike has a black "Cranck"

A knockoff leather saddle,

and I'm pretty sure you have to remove the leather grip to get the flat bars through the quill stem.

Anonymous said...

RAGT OTES

Udder said...

Gold is very stiff but compliant.

MINGUStheMECHANIC said...

Wow that is some funny funny shit.

My boy (not my son) purchased an mtb with an xtr kit and decent fork then took everything off the motobecane frame and built up a sweet voodoo aizan and saved himself a good chunk of cash instead of parting it together or buying it whole but then again it wasn't gold.

Anonymous said...

is it just me, or is today's post missing a bunch of pictures for each of the "upgrades"?

Bluenoser said...

Economies inflate like tires. Time springs ahead, falls back.

-B

kale said...

Anon 5:22-

Here's my bike before the upgrades.

I think the moral of the story is: It's not if you upgrade, it's what you upgrade, and why; you're on your own aesthetically.

Anonymous said...

xx love you snobby!

red neckerson said...

i donts see no problem here in viper its ok to buy a $1000 pickup truck and put a $3000 sound system in it as long as you dont play that mia shit

and dont come knockin if you see the pickup rockin aint that rite jolene

innerlighter said...

My dentist just bought a "Gold Standard" as his gap-bike.


meh.

Paris Hilton said...

OH MY GAWD! Braille on a website? That's, like, so smart! Now the, um, blind will be able to use the internet! I can't believe no one has thought of it before! If they're half as smart with the bicycle making, I'm gonna have to get one to match my Prada bag!

innerlighter said...

...and somewhat off-topic,

Frilly, if you should ever find yourself opening a bar...

I have the name for you


don't mention it.

Sean said...

i love derailleurs

innerlighter said...

...and as if that weren't enough...

a birthday cake for you?


golly!

frilly said...

Innerlighter, I love the Club Frills. Not so much so the cake. I think that might be a cake for you sweetie.

Its kind of weird you should mention birthday cake cuz my birthday really is in a few days.

innerlighter said...

Frill,

Yeah, I was just envisioning the comments you'd get, especially from Commie and AP if you made that cake your new picture. Good stuff.

And let me be the first to wish you an early happy birthday.

You got a date for the night?

Not that anyone could come between you and the Specialized...

KGS Bikes - Kevin Saunders said...

I sell the most expensive bike I know and I had to post this on my blog a few days ago. Different perspective but same outcome. http://blog.kgsbikes.com/2009/03/02/fools-gold-how-not-to-do-high-end/

You can fool some of the people some of the time but this one doesn't fool anybody.

Bluenoser said...

Drink of water.

Bluenoser said...

Throw the bottle and...

Bluenoser said...

100.

frilly said...

Thanks, Innerlighter. No, sadly my birthday is on the 15th, a Sunday--no fair! Guess I'll have to get the celebrating out of the way on Saturday. Wanna come? St. L has a big parade for St. Patty's and then its just drinking beer the rest of the day, beer and car bombs.

urchin said...

This is small potatoes--just playing the upgrade game with one bike? I'm doing my part for the economy by gradually upgrading the track bike, the serious road bike, the rain road bike, the 'cross bike, the fixed road training bike, the TT bike...

It's a never ending round-robin of stupidity and poverty...

sprider said...

Frilly, the "Ides of March"? How did you get through high school, what with all the "Et tu?" jokes.

Skid Mark PDX said...

And once you've replaced everything you can assemble it back into a bike and put it on craigslist for what you paid for it originally.


I'm not sure what you getting at. This is how I've built every nice bike I ever had, I started off with a shit bike and replaced every part. I'm doing the same thing with a BMX right now. Would it be better to not have a bike at all until I build the bike I want? I don't have that kind of money all at once so I buy a piece at a time, I think a lot of people do this. Nothing wrong with it.

One of the best things about bikes is parts interchangeability.

frilly said...

Sprider, I'm a pro at re-enacting the Psycho scene.

Nice recall on the date.

grant said...

http://velospace.org/node/16920

Here's my cheaper version ;(

onespeedbiker said...

Did anyone else notice the "Nite Bike", which is only 2000 euros; "Every immaculate hand-crafted detail is as black as night." That apparently includes the "anodised chain ring and cranck set". Perhaps "cranck" is the Danish spelling and would better spelled CrancK... or not

red neckerson said...

jolene you gots a birthday coming up to dont ya

i mights buy you some fancy underwere if you take a piktur of it and posts it here

Ralphy said...

One of the best things about bikes is parts interchangeability.

Yeah, bicycles are certainly the standard of, well, standardization. Everything's interchangeable!

Except for bottom brackets, hub sizes, stem type, BCD, headsets, handlebar diameter, seatpost diameter (there's 6 sizes in the space of 2.5mm), brake lever pull, brake pad style, cassette widths, sprocket spacing, rim diameter, rim width, chain width, spoke length, pedal-cleat interface, shifter inter-compatibility (Sram/Shimano/Campagnolo), fork dropout style (maxle, 15mm, 20mm, QR), and many other things, yes, everything is interchangeable.

frilly said...

Hey Red, if you wait a couple of months, VS oughta be having another semi-annual sale.

innerlighter said...

Frilly,

St Lou-ee is a bit of a trip, so I shall take a moment on the Sunday in question, and lift a liter of some of Nor-Cal's finest in your honor.

Canadian Trawler said...

And a "Tall Timber" pour moi...the local micro brew

innerlighter said...

Finally figured out who the guy with the blacked out bike is.

Hey, I'll bet he's got a note!

Bill said...

i just want to nominate bluenoser for best young commenter, the consistency he is not only nailing the 100 spot but prepping for it is nothing short of inspirational. way to go, 'noser!

frilly said...

C'mon, CT, its my birthday, at least step up to a Budweiser. Or three or four.

frilly said...

And I know you can do a car bomb.

Skid Mark PDX said...

Ralphy : So the fact that a 120mm wide hub will fit any frame with 120mm spacing, that's not interchangeable? Or the fact that any 22.0 mm stem will fit in any 22.0 mm threaded fork, also not interchangeable? Obviously there are different sizes and standards. But it's not like trying to put Chevy parts on a Volkswagen (not interchangeable).

Anonymous said...

Looks like the crossbar on the "night bike" is getting t-bagged. That must be part of the exclusive and extravagant white glove service.

Anonymous said...

...nee, love glove service

Canadian Trawler said...

Frilly

5 Buds = 1 Tall Timber

Everything is larger up here :)

CommieCanuck said...

innerlighter 6:19-you're f-ing old man.

You are scoring 12 Frillys (Fr) on the flirtometer.

Invented by Dr. Johan Flirt in Austria, 1873.

TW said...

Jim, "bulletproof" usually doesn't mean that the item will take no damage from a bullet, but rather that the bullet is stopped from reaching the item's user. I guess a ring mail made out of CK headsets could save someone's life (but not the bank account).

(Wouldn't that be appealing to gangsters - protection and bling in one? I can envision the bicycle equivalent of Hells Angels spreading awe with their CC pepper spray and CK chain mails...)

kale said...

TW-

Don't forget the "bullet proof" camisole you can stitch together with used tires. Two new tires cost almost as much as a used CKHS.

jolene said...

red thank you for the new underwere thong i put it to use alredy

Fierce Panties said...

Skid Marks Fruit of the Loom:


WTF is a 22.0mm?! Sounds French.

Are you slaying a 1" (22.2mm) threadless? I'm just guessing because even Helper Monkey can't know.

And while you're mixin' and matchin' bmx and track, FYI, not all 1" threaded stems fit 1" threaded forks.

bmx 1" threaded (and old mtb threaded) is 22.1mm and NOT compatible with 22.2 threaded.

0.1mm is not that much you say?

So what happens when slayin' a 1" bmx fork in a 1" Peugeot fork? Well nothing, as long as you don't slay over 8 miles per hour and you're always slayin' on the the flat.

Just sayin'

And you stand corrected on 120mm hubs. For example, a Campy Nuevo Tipo 120mm 5 speed threaded freewheel hub is not compatible on a track bike.

You could make it work, I suppose.
It would smell a lot like that Chevy/VW modification you're working on: the '68 Impala alternator on the '85 Vanagon. It CAN be done.

kale said...

Pierce Fanties-

Well said!

But really, didn't everyone try to make something fit where it shouldn't have at some point in college?

Bike Snob Austin IV said...

It can be hell some days in this town filled with Madones and douche bags who begin and end sentences with the word "lance", but I woke up today happy to know that Copenhagen exceeds in Cycling Gaudiness more so than Austin.

And that's saying a lot.

Pierce Fanties said...

Kale,

The VW mod porn was painful, it just brings up too many memories from a very dark time in my life.

But thank you for "...at some 'point' in college?" which reminds me of The Smiths.


"It was dark as I drove the point home
And on cold leather seats
Well, it suddenly struck me
I just might die with a smile on my
Face after all"

The love act obviously took place on a tandem rubbin' two Brooks saddles.

Wrench Monkey said...

Anon 3:43, You really don't have to weep for me. I'm just a monkey; a hairy ape. I'm glad you still like me. Civility is appreciated.

Fierce Typos said...

Correction:

...a bmx stem on a peugeot fork...

it's always embarrassing to make sloppy typos while emasculating fixters from P-town.

Fanties Pierce said...

Anon 3:43

Monkeys can't read.

Insensitive Anon.

Bloody knufuckyoules said...

LAME BLOG

Sketchy Spanish Simian said...

MONO SNOB

Anonymous said...

BAGT OTES

Anonymous said...

Brail is a graphic design copout. Is there any legitimate reason they use brail? It uses less diamonds than choosing a typeface?

Read these knucks said...

BLIN DASS

The Wizard of Oz said...

I have an emerald bike for sale. It comes with a free pair of glasses.

Ralphy said...

Ralphy : So the fact that a 120mm wide hub will fit any frame with 120mm spacing, that's not interchangeable? Or the fact that any 22.0 mm stem will fit in any 22.0 mm threaded fork, also not interchangeable?

Yes, every part is compatible with what it is compatible with! You're right, bikes would be less interchangeable if 120mm hubs didn't fit the very 120mm spacing they were designed to fit.

bluecolnago said...

it all seems very reasonable to me....

childofthe'80s said...

I don't know if anyone noticed but in addition to featuring a "crossbar" the Black Bike comes with a special "Cranck" and the Gold Bike has a leather badge on the "front downtube." These unique features must really push the price.

Skid Mark PDX said...

I meant 22.2mm. All I do is build bikes up out of spare parts, so I know what fits and what doesn't. I also have a Truimph chopper with an Italian Ceriani fork and a Harley front wheel, so I know what can be done with a little machine shop work.

I don't need two internet douchebags getting lippy with me because we aren't face to face.

Anonymous said...

Please start another blog dedicated to carcakes. My four year old sister is a huge fan.

Sony Laptop Parts said...

Wow! That was quite the story telling! Im quite amazed at all the things you've done! No wonder your soo happy! Well I hope you had your fun and excitement. In the mean while, as winters kicking in right now, we might be expecting some change! A change in weather hopefully to the better :} I dunno, some how reading about what you wrote makes me remember things that I never thought I would have ever remembered, funny how that works doesn't it??
-Much LoVe

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Anonymous said...

just buy mercier from bikesdirect.com for under 400 go to citygrounds.com and get all the 'necessary' upgrades for under 300 and you get a really solid bike for under 700.. this guy is an idiot.

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