Monday, August 10, 2009

Fromage for Thought: The Science of Losing

Generally speaking, when it comes to the sport of professional cycling I tend to avoid in-depth race analysis. Not only is it better left to other outlets such as Cyclingnews, VeloNews, and actor Morgan Freeman's Twitter (his coverage of this year's Dauphiné Libéré was as insightful as it was riveting), but I also feel it's far less relevant to the lives of typical cyclists than, say, my ongoing mission to discover and crown the World's Ugliest Fixie. (The current front-runner is this one.) However, I recently noticed this article on Cyclingnews which inspired me to reconsider:

When a champion as great as Laurent Jalabert calls for something, you get it for him. I don't care whether it's a re-evaluation of French cycling, or greater accountability in the sport in general, or simply a croque-monsieur and a cool drink. Jalabert says he finds the state of French cycling "disturbing," which is hardly surprising since in recent years French cyclists have been performing about as well as Greg LeMond at a sporting conference. Many have speculated as to why this is, and some have even gone so far as to suggest that French racers are riding "cleaner" than their non-French counterparts. Now, I don't know about that, but I do know that they're not winning. I also know that in order to understand mediocrity you have to be mediocre, and the truth is Jalabert is just too successful a rider to understand what's wrong with French cycling. I, on the other hand, am mediocrity's domestique when it comes to racing, so I feel I'm uniquely qualified to help Jalabert in particular and French cycling in general. To that end, I made the following chart, which I hope Jalabert will see and take the time to study:

As you can see, the state of French cycling is sorrier than an obsequious waiter who's just spilled red wine on your date. Furthermore, from this chart, we can draw three conclusions:

1) France is a little good at cycling
2) France is a lot bad at cycling
3) Cheese is almost as delicious as France is good at cycling

This data is disturbing. Ideally, if you're a country with cycling aspirations you want to be more good at cycling than you are bad at it. France, however, is experiencing a good/bad inversion, which is highly undesirable. Furthermore, France is in an extremely precarious situation right now. Currently, while they are much worse at cycling than they are good at it, they are still at least a little more good at cycling than cheese is delicious. However, if their cycling performance continues to deteriorate, cheese will essentially become more delicious than they are good at cycling and riders like Silvain Chavanel and Thomas Voeckler will no longer be able to successfully compete for attention with tasty hunks of Camembert or Brie. Essentially, French cycling is now on life support, and if their best riders fail to remain ever so slightly more interesting than warm cheese it will probably just kick up its Carnacs and die. (This is why you'll often hear cycling journalists say that French cycling is "treading fromage.")

Of course, this data is almost meaningless without some historical context, so I've gone ahead and generated a graph which represents the state of French cycling over time:

You'll note that precisely "A long time ago," when people like Jaques Anquetil were riding, French cycling was "Awesome." However, as we move into the present all performance indicators are heading towards "Sucky" like randy deckhands on shore leave in Bangkok. Even worse, while "Awesomeness" has been steadily decreasing, "Sucking" has been steadily increasing:


Indeed, French cycling suckitude is dangerously close to reaching a state of "R-Sys," or total implosion.

If you're Laurent Jalabert, you're probably asking two questions right now. The first question is, "Is it too late?," and the second question is, "Where the hell is my croque-monsieur?" Well, only Voeckler can speak to the second question (he's generally on "sandwich detail"), and as far as the first one goes the short answer is: "It's complicated." Really, to determine what must be done we must first identify when exactly it was that France started sucking more than not sucking, which involves pinpointing the exact moment at which they attained total cycling mediocrity. This period of stasis occurs when someone or something sucks exactly as much as it doesn't suck, and is also known as the "Nexus of Meh." Having analyzed the data, I can say with confidence that, for French Cycling, the "Nexus of Meh" was July 16th, 1997:

The 1997 Tour de France was a critical one when it comes to understanding French suckage. While Frenchman Richard Virenque went on to finish second overall (the best French finish since Laurent Fignon's second place to Greg LeMond in 1989), the French team Big Mat also finished last in the teams classification that very same year. As such, we can deduce from this that the "Nexus of Meh" occurred during the 1997 Tour, and furthermore we can specify July 16th as this marked the Tour's midway point. This conclusion is supported by the fact that, shortly afterward, France became a cycling nation in decline. The following year saw the famous Festina scandal, from which French cycling arguably never recovered, and we haven't seen a French person on the podium since.

So what can be done? Well, after analyzing the data, I've decided that France's best hope is to get rid of the Tour de France altogether. Anybody who's ever organized a big party knows that you never have fun at your own affair. You never get to eat the food, you don't get to talk to the people you want to talk to, and you certainly don't "hook up." So I'm putting forth the notion that as long as France continues to host the biggest affair on the cycling calendar they're never going to "hook up" with victory. Instead, they should just give the Tour de France to some other country--preferably a flatter one, which would also help since they're such lousy climbers. Also, they'd have a lot more energy left over to contest other races as well. Or, if they insist on keeping it, they should at least try to relax. As it is, they spend way too much time looking for drugs. It's hard enough to have fun at your own party, but it's even harder when you're running around making sure nobody's outside sneaking a joint. Sure, too many drugs can ruin a party--but sometimes not enough drugs can be just as bad.

In the meantime, though, French cyclists do need to take responsibility for their own poor performance. Yes, failing to take personal responsibility can have disastrous consequences. Take for instance this "missed connection" from Craigslist:




Asshat cyclist who nearly ran me down - w4m - 30 (Prospect Park)
Date: 2009-08-09, 8:43PM EDT

Dear Spandex-Bedeck'd Douchebag,

Yes, it is true and it is lame that it took me 30 years to learn to ride a bike. I know you probably sailed out of your mother's womb on a Brompton but that does not give you the right to come crashing into me as I learn how to make this two-wheeled-thingee-mabob stay upright. You had plenty of room to pass me on the left but decided to be the piece of excrement you are and zoom by me on the right. Unfortunately, your ego is larger than your skill set and you came within an inch of smashing into me. You, as the experienced cyclist, have the responsibility of riding defensively and avoiding the novices, be they 5 or 30. WHY try to prove your superiority by scaring newbies? I wasn't an obstacle to your progress until you decided to make me one by cutting across lanes to nearly kill us both.

Fucker.

Wishing You Crotch Abrasions and U-Lock Beatings,
Girl in Green



Sure, the "spandex-bedeck'd douchebag" may have been riding reckelessly, but at least he was wearing an asshat.

118 comments:

Anonymous said...

ASSHAT!

Pontius Pilate said...

A Top Ten finish. Today, like just about every day, is a good day to be a deceased Roman Prefect.

Hail Caesar!

P.P.

ant1 said...

ant1st!

Pontius Pilate said...

One of these days I shall sit atop this heap.

Hail Caesar!

P.P.

grog said...

Cheese is almost as delicious as France is good at cycling. Can you be more specific?

rezado said...

ASSC LOWN

kale said...

World's Uglies Fixie?

Astroluc said...

Top 10..!

Luck E. Seven said...

CHEESE!


.-

Off Tempo said...

top 10?

Anonymous said...

uglies?

Anonymous said...

oooh so close !

Surly Bastard said...

Strange, I was just thinking about the power of Schneese ....

Astroluc said...

this was a bit of a short one, wasn't it? hmmnn...

From a different perspective; It could be argued that French have just surrendered cycling to those nations that are better at it.

;)

France said...

Fuck you, Snob.

Disgruntl Ed. said...

Cheese is almost as delicious as France is good at cycling.


This is the most outrageous slander. Sir, you owe cheese an apology.

g said...

While she wasn't learning to ride a bike, she must have been at sea with long shoremen to have a mouth like that!
I think I'm in love....

Mongo Pusher said...

She's only 17...

kale said...

I always thought the French were great at surrendering their races to foreigners, so this is nothing new.

mikeweb said...

Maillot meh.

Damn, ant1 got himself some good CERA...

CommieCanuck said...

RTMS, you should sell BSNYC signature asshats, I'll buy one.

Jacques Anquetil, then meh? I think Bernard Hinault would have something to say about that, and as we all know,he's not a guy you want to piss off. Zee French are just pissed that they brought in all these tough anti-doping laws, then mysteriously, their riders stopped winning.

They should learn from the Italians, and pass tough anti-doping "laws", then when someone gets caught, they are back in 24 months with a better contract, it's like a rite of passage, a proof of commitment. He's so good, he's willing to dope and get caught 1/30 times.

Today's post was too hard to read. lay off the Sigmaplot 11.0. If you are going to use graphs to get through to kids these days, make sure the graphs are 3D.

mikeweb said...

Wow, that world's ugliest fixie contender is great if you're interested in never getting laid again.

Anonymous said...

graphs are impressive.
3) Cheese is almost as delicious as France is good at cycling

really, are you a vegan?

Rantwick said...

The fixie leading the ugliness race really hurt to look at. Like really. I can'y shake that ugly image...

Brie de Meh said...

Putain!

Luck E. Seven said...

THESE data ARE disturbing.

Of course, THESE data ARE almost meaningless...



.-

Wes said...

Unread as yet but I love a post with graphs so I'm pretty excited.

Anonymous said...

Top 20!!

Anonymous said...

I meant Top 30!!

jolene said...

why dont the frenchers just ride faster if they want to win or enner more good people its like if you want to win a raffal you needs to buy a lots of tickets and you mite win but you spends a lto of money but if you gets just one lucky won boy howdy thats better

ps just becus it ses vodker on the labbel dont mean its vodker in the bottal you here me ricky

hillbilly said...

way to go ant1, oh, and.....CHAVANEL!!!!!!!

OAP said...

Hey the ass-hatted gentleman looks just like Romeo Dallaire!

Daddo said...

i was over to france just recently doing some riding- saw a few stages etc.

if they really want to win races, they should stop making people eat cheese before they eat ice cream!

that does some really bad stuff to your ability to ride the next day

ken e. said...

if there ever was a guy that deserved a nice hat like that, Romeo Dallaire is it! dude rules!

Anonymous said...

Did Girl In Green leave a phone number? I think I got heart shaped pupils.

Wes said...

Great work Snob. Right up there with "more money than sense" post, the Mo Mo Po.

Wes said...

Anyone know how I might find one of the 16,237 golf courses in America?

el presidente bicisport said...

Your theme song!!!!

http://radio3.cbc.ca/play/band/THE-EVAPORATORS/Addicted-to-Cheese/

Surly Bastard said...

Saw this movie today. Giro cyclists eat"Schneese" as a performance enhancer. I see Snob in the part played by Dirk Bogarde .

"1952 comedy Penny Princess. A Manhattan shopgirl inherits a mythical European kingdom that is flat broke. She applies her Yankee ingenuity towards hyping the country's one and only asset: alcohol-flavored cheese. Soon the tiny country is thriving economically. The romantic angle is provided by Dirk Bogarde as a go-getting cheese salesman who falls for the heroine."

libertyonbikes! said...

ok,
if you & your friends decide to
call yourselfs the WHEELS TANG CLAN,
of course you would own the ugliest
fixie,
but WTC? REALLY?

but I will be picking up an asshat,
especially since 'vintage' cycling caps are the crown of hipsters -
can I get something in the Trashy
Flordia Hooters Waitress colorway?

Anonymous said...

Unrelated to this post, but still rather amusing:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=110421937487&ssPageName=ADME:X:RTQ:US:1123

Amos said...

While I reside in West Virginia, I used to live in the city and now visit so often that I keep a bike there and ALWAYS ride -- either with the NYCC, with a buddy or just laps in CP -- and it has been my experience that the serious cyclists do not often ride in the parks. Rather, the parks are filled with cyclists with zero handling skills, zero bike etiquette and have no idea that you are supposed to hold your line. While I steer clear of them and ride on my way, a couple of years ago a young teenage boy (riding with an adult male authority figure) was weaving so badly over the entire lane, er, lanes, that I said something. It was a simple, non-threatening, conversational "Be careful with your bike." The AMAF immediately responded by cussing me out. I did not break stride. Peace on.

el presidente bicisport said...

Your theme song!!!!

http://radio3.cbc.ca/play/band/THE-EVAPORATORS/Addicted-to-Cheese/

flaco said...

amos - i agree that many people in both prospect and central park are wildly out of control, but I think your designation of "serious cyclist" is a bit off. Many racers use both parks for training, not to mention the number of races held there. Your own beloved nycc (debatable whether they are "serious", I would actually call them asshats) uses central park as it's self timed test and a great number of their rides start there, so.....

mikeweb said...

Amos,

Unfortunately, that sounds about par for the course around here.

mikeweb said...

When you have a few million people vying for the same 10 miles of park loops (CP & PP combined loop distance), there's bound to be serious and idiotic riders alike. This varies widely depending on the day of the week and the time of day, of course.

What never ceases to amaze me is that the people who don't know how to ride invariably are more likely NOT to be wearing a helmet.

southpole said...

sorry but this post was boring since it only showed that bike snob knows nothing about france and so has nothing interesting (or funny) to say about it.

luckily i'm wearing an asshat made from an oversized bottom bracket right now and couldn't care less.

Anonymous said...

Sister Sprocket called Yehuda Moon a Retrogrouch today!

PhilboydStunge said...

Great charts Snobby! Out here where I work the ability to make charts like that is better then talent, better than hard work, better than experience, heck its better than brown-nosing and back stabbing. If this blog, bicycle, irony thing doesn't work out for you, you have a great future in the engineering consulting biz. Heck, if I found those charts in the copier I'd steal them, show them at the next department meeting, and claim they were mine. That, my friend, is a true sign of respect, when an engineer steals your charts.

cheva said...

To determine the ugliest fixie seems a waste of time, or at least impossible. My vote still goes to the "all murdered out" one from SF. What the hell does that mean, anyway?
Carpal Tunnel in the wrists from too much stabbing?

kale said...

Amos,

I dunno, I've rarely had problems with "bikers" at the parks. It's always the shoals of pedestrians near the bandshell, the Boston Terriers and Dachshunds on those retractable leashes, and skateboard-sans riders.

But you don't have to think about cars while your there, which is nice.

ant1 said...

Southpole,

Maybe you’re not very good at graph reading. If you look at what those graphs are saying, as well as what they are not saying, you would realize that snob’s understanding of all things French is actually pretty advanced. I dare you to find a single chart related to French cycling more accurate than snob’s. You can’t, trust me. And the amount of information that one can get from the “france being good at cycling” chart is incredible. Most state of cycling in a country reviews, from velonews, for example, only feature one, maybe two lines per chart. Snob has 4 lines! And the quartile info is something I’ve never seen, even on cyclingnews. The man knows what he’s talking about. I will agree, however, that the “france sucking at cycling” one could use a little more work.

hillbilly said...

Yeah, I have to agree with Kale on this, Amos....if anything, I think people in Prospect have gotten paceline-happy. As long as you are in a kit, or even just some shiny material, and aren't swerving around on a BMX headed in the wrong direction, someone will grab your wheel in a heartbeat, like it or not. It's the only time I feel popular, all of a sudden I know how hot girls feel....

Luck E. Seven said...

Mikeweb @ 2:57-

REALLY? Your park-wise analysis is staggering, my friend.

In keeping with today's themed ride, could you link us to charts or diagrams of those dynamics? Is there a similar potential for a "Nexus of Meh"-like moment when the number of serious and idiotic riders comes into perfect balance, thus creating a Park-alypse? or is it a Fred-eclipse? I forget...

Also, please demonstrate how your amazement is infinite when it comes to the inverse relationship of rider experience and helmet donage. Show your work!



.-

Greg said...

Let's see, what was I going to say? I just flew in from the States and boy are my arms tired.... Oh yeah, very impressive analysis and conclusion, BSNYC. I am wondering if you would be interested in doing similar analysis for me in the area of VO2 max calc's? Last month, it seems like the imbeciles at the paper I write a column for had the numbers reversed and totally screwed up the results (but fortunately, not my accusations!) Let me know and I'm sure I can set you up with some front row tickets at the next talk I give....oh yeah, thanks for the plug!
Best,
Greg "if you have to ask for my last name, no tix for you!"

g-rock said...

Anon 12:59

Nice job; podium, relevant content, modesty (no name or bragging). You've earned that asshat.

Salty Seattle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
tommy fixterelli said...

you losers wouldn't know a fine looking whip if it bit you in the ass. plus, its not even done. once i get my purple bars and tires with my yellow grips and saddle, i'll be stylin and profilin. look for me out on the streets, i'll be the good looking rider, rolling by ten feet over your heads.

mr.complaint said...

What's with the La Quinta ad? Free Breakfast/Low Rates/Free Internet? How about Free Bathroom for cyclists?

You think the French are > being good at it, that much > Cheese is delicious? Non! I think you may need to have your ham cheese on rye with mayo scheme reviewed (unless your wife is French). French cheese is delicious, especially when paired with a French wine.

French cycling is certainly five star meh. D'accord.

belmont sledgehammer said...

UK mtb'er wins road race on hardtail...

http://www.bikeradar.com/news/article/mountain-biker-wins-road-race-on-his-hardtail-22736

And I mistakenly read mikeweb's comment about the world's ugliest fixie contender, as "calendar" rather than "contender." Which gave me an interesting idea...

Salty Seattle said...

Props to anyone who can build their own bike wheel.

Awesome..

mikeweb said...

L.E.S. I wouldn't able to approach Snob's charts in terms of production value, coherence or shear force of logic. Plus, I don't have fotoshoppe. I will say that the daily nexus of serious to idiotic usually coincides with the car-free hours. A "car-eclipse" you could say. That's the time when the (helmetless) comfort biking, roller blading, stroller pushing masses come out and make the mistaken assumption that because there's no longer any cars on the road that it stops being a road and becomes a giant sidewalk. Because when you need to escape the "concrete jungle" by taking a walk in the park, what's better than walking on asphalt.

I have to agree with hillbilly, PP is a regular paceline orgy on some nights. Anonymous drafting pleasure that would put early 70s version of the Milan St. Remo to shame.

belmont sledgehammer said...

Tommy fixterelli,

If you ran some polka-dotted streamers off the bars on that bike you described I'd think you might have yourself a place in my upcoming world's ugliest fixie calendar.

Fred said...

Luck E. 7 @ 3:31

I thought a Fred-eclipse referred to the phenomenon of being passed by a Fred who then immediately slows down and thus, with his panniers, rack-topper, enormous helmet and random weaving, completely obscures the fog-line.

The key is not to look directly at the Fred-eclipse, but focus rather on a spot to one side. Keep looking there until you get to a hill where you can easily drop the Fred.

Luck E. Seven said...

Mikeweb,

You don't need a fotoshoppewayed chart for it to be good. I would have accepted crayons on fax paper for full credit. You shoulda seen some of Snob's attempts before he started shipping his homework off to the accountants at Buycycling.

I too enjoy that look of surprise when a car reemerges into the realm of the previously deluded roadfly.


.-

James said...

Dear WTC.

Yeah sure, just please ensure you've got two mismatched tires on there, so I know its you. Oh, and can you add another hue to the uglyway you've got going on? I won't be able to ignore you if my autism starts in when you ride by.

Danke.

CommieCanuck said...

Lucky, speaking of BuyCyling, this month's issue features an $18,000 Pinarello..it's one step above the Dogma, it's the "Denial". I'd hate to see what that thing would cost if it wasn't made in Taiwan.

BikeLemming said...

She sounds hot...

Anonymous said...

Stylin rich, RZA made the waves in one chain
Feelin mics like, wheelin a bike, slide like
step on his Klondike, get your dart right
We movin on it like, wind breaker niggaz get they face broke
Jury get snatched, magazine right on the low, fuck y'all cats

Luck E. Seven said...

Duh! Thanks Fred.

CC- This may be helpful in your calculations:

http://www.x-rates.com/d/TWD/USD/graph120.html



.-

Anonymous said...

Hey BS --
I work in the global branding and marketing universe, and have to analyze both qualitative and quantitative research, all the time. The next time I have to present said qual+quant stuff, I'd like to use this incredible adept analysis to loosen up the room.
[Truly; you could do user experience market research for Kraft {et autre cheesiers/fromagiers mondial}.]
What exactly is your PoV -- and the copyright skinny -- regarding potential, fully-attributed usage of your material?
Thanks!
Cheers,

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 4:43pm,

I don't understand any of those words.

--RTMS

Brice Feillu said...

Pff.

Luck E. Seven said...

CC-

I've been working on this for not quite 20 minutes, so I think I've achieved the due diligence.

The "Denial" costs $.46 US to produce in Taiwan. If manufactured stateside, it's production cost would swell to $120,000.46 US and include a strike of some sort, an embezzlement-inspired market crash, and a subsequent economic depression.

What'd you get?


.-

Anonymous said...

asshat:

Saw this movie today. I see Snob in the part played by Humphrey Bogart in The Caine Mutiny (1954).

Anonymous said...

asshat:

Yehuda Moon.

Carlos said...

Hey, Asshat missed her. Doesn't sound like she crashed. What it does sound like is that she would really, really like a spanking, but can't bring herself to ask nicely, so goes off and tries to earn one by being bratty.

innerlighter said...

Maybe they should just move Le Tour to December.
If French cycling is like French cheese, then they both have the tendency to get soft and squishy in sufficient heat (i.e. Summer).
Conversely, they would both have some "form" in the winter.

Or maybe they could just shoot all non-French riders on Bastille Day...

richard irvine said...

Vous etes un knob jockey pour having fun with us Frenchies

red neckerson said...

i never liked me them frenchers ever since they done bombed perl harbor

GiG said...

Wow. My rage has been syndicated. Behold the power of the In4mation SuperHIway.

So, coupla things. First, this is a composite sketch of the asshat. There was no chick perched on his head, as Snob assumed: http://tbn3.google.com/images?q=tbn:FLqTSA7W8DF4FM:http://www.ennuicentral.com/images/asshat.jpg

Second, someone suggested I was raised by longshoremen. Not accurate. I am simply from Cincinnati and that gave me plenty of reasons to learn fluent cursing.

And now, a big 'thanks' to the Snob.
Last night, after the asshat almost killed me, I was feeling all furious and awkward that I couldn't ride a bike. But due to Snob's chart, I now see that the French can't really ride bikes either and I feel a real sense of community. S'Okay, Frenchmen. We will learn together.

Girl in Green

bikesgonewild said...

...put aside if you will, yer cheese n' graphs (but hey, damn nice graphs !!!) for a moment here in this, THE blog of cycling ironic-ness & take note of the absurdly ironic aspect of laurent jalabert as the french national cycling team manager...

...monsieur "jaja", a onetime french national road champion as well as a world tt champion & a gentleman w/ amazing palmeres spent the majority of his cycling career riding for spain's 'once' squad...

...one of the more storied & successful cyclists, he & french cycling & it's fans were "amis nada" for many years but perhaps his stage win on bastille day in the 2001 tour de france won back some hearts...even though that was while riding for riis's csc...

...so raise a 'jaja', the nickname for a glass of wine & perhaps nibble some fromage, in salute if you dare, to laurent jalabert, the "l'enfant terrible" of french cycling in his day...

Anonymous said...

Leaving the Lil Wayne concert I saw a girl physically assualt her own car (kicking the dash, punching & slamming doors/windows etc) in an outrage after I had leaned against her hood while waiting for a crowd to pass. She literally damaged her car as a reaction to me gently touching it- I guess to warn me that I better not touch it anymore. It was a saturn at that. Now we have a girl making and ass of herself in the public forum by verbally assaulting someone for "almost" hitting her on a bike. Perhaps this problem is typical for females (i.e. needy for attention).

Oh yeah- and stop giving people advice on bike handling/etiquette. Its hopeless and it only encourages them.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 5:58 said...

"Leaving the Lil Wayne concert"

BWAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHA

Asshat.

Wes said...

ASSP HALT

Anonymous said...

LILW EEZY

Anonymous said...

So why do the Kazakhs suck, they dope, and they don't have cheese?

Why do they call it the Tour de france if it will start in Rotterdam?

Anonymous said...

Is ny craigslist getting a tad bitchy.
Why express your hormonal opinions for the world to see.

Anonymous said...

LAURENT J'AL'BERT

Fred said...

Luck E. Seven @ 5:03

I think there's an error somewhere if you got a strike in the same result as US workers. This would imply that US workers (a) still existed and (b) are organized. Perhaps you forgot to convert from francs somewhere?

Anonymous said...

the price of this stuff is based on nothing other than what the market can/will stand.

VaticDart said...

Dear Mr. Snob,

One day, please put all your graph-heavy postings, such as today's and the money versus sense one, in a coffee table book. That way, when I am old, broken, and scared of anything new or different, I can look at them and find a morsel of joy again.

With any luck, I'll be senile by then so they'll be new every time.

That is all, thank you.

Salty Seattle said...

Hey,

Anybody heard from Frilly about the tri- thing?

Salty Seattle said...

Yeah, hormones are a bitch.

I keep trying to remember to use my powers for good, but evil is just too tempting.. I'm glad to hear I'm not alone.
Thanks, GiG!

Bikerjulio said...

the biggest crime on the world's ugliest fixie was the insertion of a shimano bb into a campy crank. the horror.

gay israel said...

France has had bad juju ever since '86 when Fignon threw away the tour in favor of sporting a ponytail shaped Jib.

Also Greg LeMond = Greg "The World" eh eh eh...

thats gotta mean something.

gay egypt said...

I mean '89 DUH

Anonymous said...

so you concure with the badger?

The French don’t train ... Nobody taps them in the mouth to get them going. It’s necessary to block their salary and later hand them back the money if they win something.

There are champions who become like civil servants when they turn pro. You have to put a knife to their throats to get any results ... The French earn too much money and don’t make enough effort.

hah...agreed!

This Side Up. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
This Side Up. said...

I give that one my ugliest fixie vote, If you start an ugiest commuter bike contest, let me know and I'll submit my current ride, crappy walmart mongoose, with fenders, rack, in a "green, silver, black colourway".Now it sports a seven sp hub, worth more than the whole bike. While I may not have the lock on garish colors, the entire combo is stylistically hideous, right down to the rusting front chrome suspension fork. http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30279083&l=d0e862ea12&id=1358587920
As always thanks for the daily dose of humor and education.

Anonymous said...

the french did win a few stages at this year`s Tour. Feillu, Fedrigo... Or maybe those are the 2 Japanese guys... names are as strange as theirs...and Mr Hinault had some great podium performance, too

Luck E. Seven said...

Capt. "Fred" America @ 7:54-

That's what I thought! However, I carried the francs AND did the conversion through Lira just for the Italian pedigree.

No, I was referring to this:

In November (2008), Boeing further delayed the first test flight and delivery of its much-anticipated 787 jetliner, the world's first large commercial airplane made mostly from carbon-fiber composites, blaming the (machinist) strike and lingering production problems.

"Denial" indeed, Fred. That's opened one hell of a demand for gap planes!


.-

Anonymous said...

American manufacturing companies always blame unions. Boeing's no different, despite the fact that most 787 problems are the result of outsourcing production of major pieces to overseas suppliers who forgot some minor details like, say, all the electrical wiring.

Anonymous said...

"nexus of meh"

I know what my next knuckle tat will be.

ShaqStrong sucks... said...

Eh 3 stage wins and 8 days in yellow and 10th place overall for the French in Le Tour...0 stage wins, o days in yellow, and 3rd and 8th place for the Americans...It looks like that the ol' French did a little better than us...though it will be something that Lance Armstrong and his staunchest supporter, you, will never admit.

Anonymous said...

RTMS?

mikeweb said...

@ShaqStrong:

A Frenchman was in yellow for 8 days in this year's TdF?

News to me...

ant1 said...

mike - the french passed a law saying anybody on a french team that wears yellow is automatically given temporary citizenship while in yellow. we take what we can get.

AngryBikeWrench said...

BSNYC, brilliant as always. However, for an angrier view from the bowels of the greasy trenches, check out Angry Bike Wrench.

velocodger said...

Wrong, BSNYC!!! The French do not suck at cycling. They suck at ROAD cycling! Just look at Mountain bike race results and the trend is clear. The French do well in MTB racing. My theory is- after we invented mountain bikes in the 80's, the French youth decided mountain bikes were cool, and only old nerds like Hinault, BSNYC and myself ride road bikes. Thus young people in France only ride road bikes when forced by their fathers. So- if Ja Ja wants to change French ROAD cycling, he needs to make Levi, or someone else as nerdy, ride MTBs and destroy the French MTB 'cool' factor. Or maybe the ugly fixie designers can design some REALLY ugly mountain bikes?

Anonymous said...

I totally disagree with this post. Cheese is extremly delicious. Far more than France is good at cycling.

Ronsonic said...

Fromage / Frottage ??

I always get those mixed up.

Maybe that's why the wine and cheese club started losing my invitations.

ant1 said...

velocodger,

The cheese analysis only applies to road biking. mtn bike requires a pate analysis.

Anonymous said...

Ant1, as a member of Garmin-Slipstream, I would imagine Danny Pate gets analyzed out the wazoo...

yogisurf said...

All I got is a wolf hat.

Term Papers said...

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