Thursday, April 7, 2011

Once, Twice, Three Times a Rush: Manifest Density

While certain career choices involve following a proscribed path, others require that you make your own way and learn as you go along. For example, if you want to become a dentist, your path is clear: pass the dentisting high school equivalency test, establish proof of Serotta ownership, buy yourself a Dremel, and let the drilling commence. On the other hand, if you want to become a cat psychic, it is up to you to discover and nurture your inner power to swindle lonely single people out of their disposable income.

Like reading cats' minds, bicycle messengering is another superfluous vocation for which there is no set path--at least until last year, when Wesleyan University announced that it would be offering a BA in "Human-Powered Couriership." However, spending four years in a sheltered environment that allows you to carefully construct an identity before you field test it in a slightly larger sheltered environment such as Williamsburg, Brooklyn or Portland, OR can be a costly endeavor. So what do you do if you just want to "get right to it" like they did "back in the day" when Americans actually had moxie?

Well, you visit the website of the Travel Channel, of course, because with "Triple Rush" about to "drop" they're offering a Bike Messenger Gear Guide. I sure hope you've been saving those pennies, since you'll need a lot of stuff. For example, no messenger worth his or her "taint" goes to work without "padded leggins:"

Some bikers choose to wear padded leggins when then bike.

I don't know what "padded leggins" means, but it sounds like it should be the name of a cartoon leprechaun.

Unfortunately though there's no pot of gold at the end of your messenger career, just six figures in unpaid hospital bills you can start paying off in 30 years after you've finally paid off that college loan.

Regardless, you should also make sure your wardrobe incorporates a "pop of color," since your new career's "cool factor" rests entirely on the impression you make when you saunter into that modeling agency or design firm with their precious cargo.

You'll also need a soundtrack:

If it's a slow day at work, bring along some tunes. They always help the day to move along.

This is tremendously important, mostly because it will be a slow day at work since nobody really needs you. Really, the only thing keeping the messenger industry alive is that a few companies still think it's cooler to summon NYU grads clad in "padded leggins" of eye-popping color than to hit the "send" button on their email program. Also, you'll need a soundtrack for when you're riding, since--and this may come as a shock to you--cool music doesn't actually play while you're riding around New York City like it does in all those fixed-gear videos you've been watching.

But the most important accessory of all? Sunglasses:

Please. Don't forget your shades. The last thing you want is to get in an accident and blame it on the sun.

Yes, you'll need those just in case you're in exactly the right place and heading in exactly the right direction at exactly the right time for the sun to actually shine between two skyscrapers and into your eyes like in that map scene in the first Indiana Jones movie. (If this happens, start digging immediately, because you're standing on the Ark of the Covenant.)

Oddly though, while the Travel Channel recommends sunglasses for safety, it doesn't actually say anything about helmets--except that you should have a camera on yours, since as a 21st century urban cyclist you are nothing more than an organic media content farm. You might also think about buying "bike shoes:"

Some bike messengers choose to wear bike shoes, which helps them grip the pedals better.

That's pretty much the worst description of clipless pedals I've ever read.

But where you hang out while you're off the clock is just as important as the padding in your leggins, so I took the Travel Channel's advice:

See a listing of the Bike Messenger Hot Spots for a list of their hangout spots and favorite bike shops in New York City.


And checked out those "hangout spots:"

Apparently, when they're not working, bike messengers like to hang out at the Diesel for Hipsters Chrome store. By the way, further to yesterday's post in which I talked about people taking liberties with quotes, this testimonial makes me suspicious:

"I love (their) messenger bags and gear!"

– Jenessa, bike messenger from Breakaway


Without the parenthetical "their," this just says "I love messenger bags and gear!" We know this. Obviously she loves messenger bags and gear in general--that's why she decided to put her double major in Spanish and International Relations to work by becoming a messenger. It's like joining the army because you're really into what Best Made Co. is doing. But does she really love Chrome's messenger bags and gear specifically, or did they just slip that "(their)" in there gratuitously as the parentheses suggest? Or, when you're on a show like this, is everything you say just a big Mad Libs into which the producers slip brand names and products as needed?

Either way, "Triple Rush" promises to do to the image of New York City cyclists what Yakov Smirnoff did for the image of Russians:

Triple Rush - Danger from Triple Rush on Vimeo.

The above video adheres to the bicycle messenger video style manual, which mandates that any video must include messengers talking about how dangerous their job is while simultaneously including footage of them doing their job in the most idiotically dangerous way possible. Here's one genius riding right into a cab:

I'd like to see a video from the IBEW in which electricians talk about how dangerous their job is, intercut with footage of them randomly stabbing at wall outlets with forks.

But it's not just the danger--it's also the fact that nobody respects them or realizes how important they are:

Oh, man, there are so many obstacles when you're a bike messenger. Like, the guy glued to his cellphone just walking out in front of you, the woman who sees you but she's like, "I'm gonna cross against the light anyways," or you've got the cabbie who's, like, trying to kill you, like run you down, then you've got, like, someone just opening their door, like, wide in the middle of the street...

I wish people would pay more attention too, but in New York City those aren't "obstacles," they're real life--and real life doesn't stop and get out of your way just because you have an envelope to deliver. Unless you're driving an ambulance and someone's bleeding to death in the back of it, it's your job to look out for everybody else. And yes, this does involve stopping for self-involved douchebags on cellphones on occasion.

None of this is to say that riding in New York City isn't full of danger, but messengers should not have the monopoly on bragging about it. Actually, these days in New York City the most daring and defiant type of cycling is the simple act of commuting:

Maybe the Travel Channel should make a show about that.

Meanwhile, in Copenhagen, a reader informs me that the smugness is so highly refined that people actually move sofas with their "bake feets:"

As P.J. O'Rourke said in his Wall Street Journal editorial, "The bicycle is the only method of conveyance worse than feet. You can walk up three flights of stairs carrying one end of a sofa. Try that on a bicycle." It's heartening to see someone actually taking him up on the challenge, and perhaps as an encore he can also manage to insert the sofa into O'Rourke's anal cavity.

I'm not sure the Travel Channel would air that, but it would make a great pay-per-view special.

Speaking of "bake feets," I'm not sure what the opposite of one would be, but a road bike with aerobars would certainly be a good candidate. This is just the sort of bike the time-traveling t-shirt-wearing retro-Fred from the planet Tridork rides, and an astude reader recently spotted both his bike and his helmet in the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel:

This led the reader to conclude that the items had been stolen, and a closer inspection reveals that it certainly is the same bike and the same helmet:

For one fleeting moment, I experienced a flicker of hope when I thought, "Perhaps the retro-Fred has temporarily exchanged his t-shirt and half-shorts for a business suit." Alas, I was merely deluding myself. Just look at the lithe, limber grace with which the retro-Fred drapes himself over the aerobars. He and the bike are as one, and there's just no way he could feign suit guy's awkwardness and discomfort. It would be like asking Teddy Pendergrass to sing off-key in a shrill and nasal voice--he couldn't do it no matter how hard he tried.

Plus, suit guy doesn't have a "soul patch."

Anyway, now that suit guy is in possession of the retro-Fred bike I wonder if he will become as ubiquitous as its erstwhile owner. He's certainly available:

Then again, he does face some stiff competition, most notably from this guy:

The website describes this image in a rather stilted fashion:

An African American biker guy riding his classic street bike with a focused look of concentration on his face.

Wow. I would have described this a bit differently, probably along the lines of: "A young man riding a bicycle with a schmatta on his head bursts forth from a mystical orange background in surreal fashion, his lips pursed as though he's drinking from the magical juice box of Jesus."

Also, he's clearly well-versed in the art of the "doucheclamation point:"

As ridiculous as some of these poses are, none of them rivals the introduction to this write-up of a $360 cycling dress shirt which was forwarded to me by yet another reader:

It's always hilarious to see the makeshift ways businessmen who bike to work stash their stuff. Take my dad. He hooks a shopping bag around his handle bars, which looks only slightly less ridiculous than what he used to do: carry a mini backpack. To give you a proper visual: My father is 6-foot-5 and could easily be mistaken for a grizzly bear.

This made me really angry. Here's a businessman who actually rides his bicycle to work and who foregoes all the expensive panniers and handmade bags and artisanal racks everybody thinks you need to commute by bike these days. Instead, he simply uses a shopping bag, or a simple backpack. He's a practical man, a hardworking man, a frugal man. A man who always supported his daughter, and who provided for her instead of buying more canvas luggage for his Rivendell. So how does this daughter repay him? She becomes a snotty design editor and says he looks like a freakish grizzly bear in a review of an overpriced cycling shirt.

And what's so ridiculous about a backpack anyway? How is it worse than riding around in a dress shirt with pockets on the back with a bunch of crap sticking out of them? How do you even tuck it in?

I bet it's even better in the office.

"Hey, Walter, do you have that brief for me?"

"Sure, here it is, it's in the back pocket of my dress shirt...whoops, looks like it got a little lower back sweat on it."

Then again, this could be the perfect shirt for commuting in New York City, since you can actually access your pockets while you're handcuffed.



119 comments:

ant1 said...

ant1st!

ant1 said...

it'd been a while

ant1 said...

feels good to be back

ant1 said...

once, twice, three times a first: manifest destiny

agent detroit said...

podium!

Anonymous said...

Top ten?

Kenny Banya said...

TOP TEN GOLD!

agent detroit said...

shit!
top ten, bitches!

Marcel Da Chump said...

we are the 801

Kenny Banya said...

Gold Ant, GOLD!

Anonymous said...

Huggy up there today!

le Correcteur said...

Damn! Missed top ten!
Pack fodder. ant1, you're greedy!

Jasper said...

That's what I call a lead-out train

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Ants Marching

I am Teriffic Man said...

In before someone points out the incongruous use of "proscribed".

Anonymous said...

recumbent free in portland! (but my mind is still in nyc, riding prostrate).

le Correcteur said...

Way to tie it all together at the end, Snob, even though said ending was a tad abrupt, no?

Anonymous said...

Prescribed rather than proscribed, surely?

hey nonny mouse

Etherhuffer said...

Affecting a 'look' is now required for all photographic set ups. Case in point: All rock bands have to have a low angle shot of everyone with arms folded and scowling, the de riguer rock shot.

If it's a newsteam advertising their public smegma wands, they have to stand at a haughty 45 degree angle to the camera with arms folded and a very smug and or knowing smile. Gag, retch, hurl.

Hello and welcome to the perfected curated image of everything, everywhere.

Anonymous said...

As a messenger I disapprove of the portrayal of all of us being idiotic, life affriming through wreckless abandon, packable fashion plates. Some of us still wear jeans and a t shirt. I also capitol L capitol O capitol V capitol E capitol D the Diesel for Hipsters. A to the men. You finally had a post that got me chuckling after a loooong dry spell.

ervgopwr said...

nice 1 ant.

I'm still in handcuffs, but I've got a pick in my pocket to reach.

BACK SWET

wishiwasmerckx said...

The leprechaun reminded me of an old joke:

Q: What's Irish and sits around the back yard all summer long?

A: Paddy O'Furniture.

Kenny Banya said...

"I'd like to see a video from the IBEW in which electricians talk about how dangerous their job is, intercut with footage of them randomly stabbing at wall outlets with forks."

Gold Snobby, GOLD!

wishiwasmerckx said...

Lost another podium race to a warp in the time/space continuum. The article says posted at 8:56 a.m. The first comment says posted at 1:09 p.m.

Check your jockey shorts for signs of an anal probe -- we all may have just undergone a mass alien abduction, accounting for the "missing" time.

grog said...

cat psychic for hire.
No 'babe today?

CATP SYCC

Paul Bowen said...

It seems to me that our police are slightly less prone to random attacks on their employers than yours but just as likely to confuse the concept of 'compliance with the law' with 'doing whatever the fuck I say, now'. And we do have the small comfort that most of them aren't armed, or not with guns anyway. Sigh.

Great post as usual.

Brian said...

What, nothing about the messenger in the "bike shoes" photo who's wearing a world champion jersey and is right in front of a crabon fibre front wheel?

hillbilly said...

ant1 to the podium, ladies and gentlemen!!!

OBA said...

I'd shell out a couple of bucks to watch that couch get inserted into PJO.

crosspalms said...

Wow, someone get a hose, ant1 is on fire. And Kenny beat me to it, but I'm still wiping my eyes over the electricians with forks. Gold indeed!

Anonymous said...

That retro fred seriously has no idea how famous he is!

ringcycles said...

I too would love to see someone take up your O'Rourke challenge, but since PJ pulled a JD Salinger and is residing in an undisclosed rural New Hamphire location, not even he can find his own anal cavity.

Barry Muzzen said...

Enough of this Sunday stroll!

Let`s hurt a little bit.

Anonymous said...

Wow, under cover cops conducting STING operations on cyclists in NYC streets? I REALLY want to come to NYC this summer and be a tourist...NOT!

I rode around London on the Hire Bike scheme in March and it was the duck's nuts. In NYC, they squash your nuts. NYPD issues so many unlawful orders, it's hard to know which order that they give you that you should obey. What, it's like around 50% on average right now? The City has had to pay so many wrongful arrest suits; here's an idea for the Mayor's office looking to save money: Stop the NYPD from exposing the City to $100M of damages to cyclists alone in the last 7 years...

John Wayne said...

NYC Cops:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L1DbydIMZuw

Pontius Pilate said...

HAIL CSZR

-P.P.

Anonymous said...

Finally Travel Channel gives me a list of places to avoid in New York City.

mikeweb said...

ant1 FTW!!

Interesting point: Will captain Wishnea be showing up to the houses of all the 'Triple Rushers' blowing lights and skid turning in front of taxis the wrong way to give them tickets? I mean, they have plenty of beautifully shot high definition video evidence now...

Oldentard said...

Ant 1 must be doping, using tiny motors and time travel all at once.

Marcel Da Chump said...

I'm gonna have a talk with Greg; he got way too many quotes. And that's him, too, riding towards the taxi.
The only reason he's on the show is so his artwork can get some exposure. I wouldn't trust the producers of Triple Rush, if I were him.

Anonymous said...

Seems like the Travel Channel is encouraging the breaking of NYC cycling laws. A bike with no breaks and a woman with both ear buds in. Where is the bell on that bike and the reflectors?

Anonymous said...

Give Greg a talk as it states on his bio:

Greg is one of the rare veterans with an incredible work ethic who likes to lead by example. He is always willing to help a rookie in need.

He may need a mentor too.

Anonymous said...

Where is the recumbent cycle messenger in this show?

That takes guts!

Anonymous said...

How old is the guy in the "shades"? Late 50's? Looks to be sporting the police officer look quite nicely. Must scare the other messengers off thinking he is an undercover dick.

Or just a dick.

Anonymous said...

You know as well as anyone (from what I can tell) that nobody hands you a white collar career. Its usually a long process of working for free and proving that you're worth a damn before you can even get an entry level position. Generally, bills will be incurred during this period

Yeah, a ton of people courier for all the reasons you hate. But I suspect that's always been the case, even when you and the rest of the 40-something bike-punk-blogodomers were doing it back in the mid 90's.

For a lot of people--regardless of their rim-depth-way--messenging is a way to make a bit more than minimum wage and keep their (some) dignity at the same time.


Though for the "real couriers" its more a socially acceptable way to stay drunk all day.

Anonymous said...

BSNYC,
So when are you moving out of that hellhole POS city?

Marcel Da Chump said...

Anon 2:27,
There are, indeed, two recumbent cycle messengers in NYC and they've been working for well over a decade.
At one point there was also a one-legged, lone crank bike messenger.

John from Canada said...

To my fellow bikers, would you call this video posted on “The Guardian” either smug or sleep inducing or both. NSFW, only because you will fall asleep at your desk and get fired. http://www.guardian.co.uk/travel/bike-blog/2011/apr/07/london-blogger-calls-for-cycling-infrastructure-revolution

Lanterne Rouge said...

Ding ding ding ding!

Best closing line evah!

"Then again, this could be the perfect shirt for commuting in New York City, since you can actually access your pockets while you're handcuffed."

Udder said...

Anonymous 2:38- Those white collar jobs might come a little sooner if these losers would take a job more closely related to that which they aspire than wasting time riding their bikes and "maintaining their dignity".

Anonymous said...

The exaggerations of the typical NYC messenger are so tired and cliche.

Anyone that rides in the city has had some close-calls or actual collisions, but a big part of their "extreme" danger clap-trap is either an attempt to inflate the actual risk of their job (not that risky, really) in order to sound important and impress people....OR, it's due to the fact that they RIDE LIKE DUMBSHITS.

Pretty much every example of riding in that douchey video is of them doing something incredibly stupid. Yeah, bike riding in the city can be dangerous. So can gardening, if you're making every attempt to aggravate venomous snakes, killer bees, sticking your arms in machinery and rolling in poison ivy all day.

Reminds me of that Simpsons' episode with Frank Grimes, where at the end he does his Homer impersonation. These hipster fakengers who pad their self-romanticizing with a large dose of narcissism need to wake up and realize it's not all about them: it would help to prevent your retarded bike riding if you were aware enough to realize that everyone else isn't looking out for YOU. But I know mom and dad told you that you were special, and your expensive college degree (Pratt, Oberlin, wherever) you didn't pay for is proof you deserve things.

Oh, and now that it's starting to warm up outside and all you fixie douches have decided to start riding again, try looking out for other non-fair weather cyclists while you remember how to handle your trendy "whips". I guess that's another thing: who likes ruining $30-40 tires doing useless skid stops every couple of weeks? Oh, spoiled hipsters, forgot.

Gene Simmons said...

Back in the 50s all the kids wanted to look like Dan'l Boone. In the 60s it was the Beatles. Then the 70s came along and you had to choose between looking like Richard Simmons or Willie Nelson. I stopped paying attention (not just to the current wannabe fads, but stopped paying attention generally) after that. Seems like there was something about looking like you were headed for your pretend yacht or something.

Trying to look like a bored, clueless punk is just another silly fad. I'll sure be glad when it's gone, but I think it is fair to dread what will follow.

Anonymous said...

Woah, nice rant. NYC riding really sounds crappy, from the cops to the oblivious fixters. Weird how the bike lanes and tripling of its popularity have actually made it worse for "normal" cyclists. Oh, the eye-ronnie!

Anonymous said...

New York does not need these Alley Cat races. Why not settle it old school with a pipe smoking contest?

Real hipsters:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=lxPgdpIupz8

sufferist said...

Dear BSNYC:
Please substitute the word "astude" with "astute." In the following phrase:
"an astude reader recently spotted"

Otherwise, BRAVO!

Liked that bit about the Mad Libs...

-Sufferist

Marcel Da Chump said...

Anon 2:38,
As a forty somethin' bike-punk blogodomer, I must say: "you damn right". But in my day, it was weed- any time and any place.
But I never complained about the hazzards of the job. Snob is totally right in that regard.

Anonymous said...

http://www.zerocc.co.uk/how-do-i-look/

A jolly old English recumbent bike messenger.

Marcel Da Chump said...

Anon 2:38,
As a forty somethin' bike-punk blogodomer, I must say: "you damn right". But in my day, it was weed- any time and any place.
And I never complained about the hazzards of the job. Snob is totally right in that regard.

Caliente Carlos said...

How come everybody in this post is a fucking Republican? I feel like I'm at Nixon's second convention.

Fucking Republicans.

g-roc said...

Snobby, nice placement of proscribe to aggitate the grammar nazis. Not quite the reaction I was hoping for ... yet.

The bike messenger guide contains valuable information in need of editing. In fact, the mention of bike shoes and hot spots in the same caption is potentially quite astute. Maybe that's the problem, Maura Kelly got her mitts on the copy.

Fucking Republicans said...

Thanks for noticing, Carlos. If you can fill those tube socks faster, we'll give you twice as many tax breaks.

bikesgonewild said...

...speaking of "manifest density", the concentration of 'ant1' on that podium was so high that the specific gravity reached unimaginable heights...

...an ultrasonic transducer rather than a piss test, may be needed...

Anonymous said...

The Bike Snob is the head of his local Republican club in Brooklyn that is why there are so many Republicans here.

Geez!

Do you ever read this blog dude?

samh said...

We're not worthy, ant1.

Anonymous said...

hmmm, a $20 back pack which may make you look like a dork to total strangers (bsnyc perhaps) on your short commute into work or a $360 shirt which will absolutey make you look like a dork (and a complete sucker) in front of your colleagues all day long in the office. a difficult decision.

no*dice said...

"I'd like to see a video from the IBEW in which electricians talk about how dangerous their job is, intercut with footage of them randomly stabbing at wall outlets with forks."

just right and funny!

crosspalms said...

Hey, speaking of Republicans, they make an appearance here alongside a nice old Gitane.

Fucking Republicans said...

Always better than non-fucking. Especially when you can get a tax break for it.

crosspalms said...

argh.

Here.

Fucking Republicans said...

Let's see here, what is on my schedule for tomorrow?

1. Close down bike lanes and convert them to "SUV only" parking spaces.

2. Subpoena the officers of the local bike club to the Committee on UnAmerican Activities.

3. Unplug gramma's ventilator. The old bitch.

4. Toss her friends out on the streets.

5. Starve babies.

6. Launch into anti-union activities with threaten the very fabric of working class America.

7. Fuck a hipster chick.

8. Send a fan letter to Murdoch and the Kochs, and ask for a political donation.

I think that will do for now.

P.J. O'Rourke said...

I've had bigger sofas than that in my anal cavity.Armatures.

Yoda said...

P.J. O'Rourke-AMATURES, you meant?

P.J. O'Rourke said...

Murdock and Koch host some bitchin' parties, and we Repubs bang the Park Lube out of the hipster bitches! Man they will do anything for weed!

Anonymous said...

two things: messanger "bike shoes for grip" = SPD's on a road bike.
suit fred: big ring, big cog. work those derailer tension springs

Another Fucking Republican said...

I forgot my witticism!Pass the dutchie,Earl.

Non-fucking Republican said...

Shame on you. Shame on you all.

Anonymous said...

jayzus. buncha armatures.

The Cat Whisperer said...

Some day your cat will need me, Snob. And then,I shall have my vengeance.

urchin said...

excellent finish, snob.

Chazu said...

Douché

Anonymous said...

I happen to really enjoy the bike lanes in Little Rock. I am a recumbent bike messenger and the bike lanes keep angry drivers from honking their horns at me.
I am sure there are some of you out there that have nearly crashed a recumbent or had a hand full of pennies thrown at them and would agree.
Bike lanes make me feel like a freebird.

Anonymous said...

Triple rush is the Jersey Shore douche factory. Commuter or road wussies posing as quasi ballers.

Ride like the wind and smoke a vay jay in the allay.

-angry dragon

David said...

The more I read Bike Snob NYC, the more I like pretension-free St Louis.

leroy said...

When commuting is outlawed, only outlaws will commute.

At least the Republican Party is doing its part to eliminate the need for federal employees to commute to work.

(Congrats to ant1!)

Anonymous said...

The thing I like about St Louis is the Safeco stadium. Those squab realized the Kings of Leon are not worthy and 'shit' them off the stage.

-angry dragon

Anonymous said...

Remember back in the old days when you could ride a bike without all the freaky weirdos.
People that road because they enjoyed it.
Riding wheelies, catching air and bunny hopping curbs.
I guess there needs to be a certain level of freaky weirdos, however it is odd when you are invaded by a bunch of super chumps and a carnival of extreme posuers.

I have faith that the chumps will give it up and get fat and that the carnies will just fall off the earth.


Spike Lemming

rudy jenkins said...

you're on a tear, rtms. keep up the great work.

Johann Rissik said...

"My weekly near death experience"....fucking wanker.

Anonymous said...

The thought of BGW manifest densitying all over ant1st is totally creeping me out.

Go recumbent in private.

-angry dragon

Anonymous said...

The last part about the cycling Dad made me a little sad since I carry my suit pants and shirt to work in a shopping bag, in my backpack. I leave my jackets at work. I catch comments from my coworkers but now I wonder if my Son thinks his old man is a Canadian.

no*dice said...

Bike Snob shows up @

http://goldbollocks.blogspot.com/

蘆洲買屋 said...

hooray, your writings on theater and writing much missed!

bikesgonewild said...

...empty flagon...

...now, now, son...please don't project your wishes on to others as it reveals the true nature of your needs...

...i'm kinky but what you're looking for is a little bit depraved...

...i can't speak for ant1 but i only do 'depraved' with chicks, amigo...

...just slayin'...

bikesgonewild said...

...sufferist suggests "...substitute the word "astude" with "astute." In the following phrase:
"an astude reader recently spotted..."
...

...actually sufferist, the line should read "...a stud reader recently spotted..."...

...now, i'm not sayin' i'm that particular stud, i'm just sayin'...

ant1 said...

angry dragon - don't knock it til you try it.

mikeweb said...

rusty wagon strikes me as an anti-recumbentite

Marcel Da Chump said...

Spoke to Greg from TRIPLE RUSH about that clip where he's riding towards the taxi. I told him it seemed out-of-character for him to ride that way. He said the producers wanted "hardcore riding" shots.

mikeweb said...

That's wonderful. I'm sure the show will improve rider behavior, the same way that watching Nascar racing reduces the amount of 'road rage'. Except that's done on a closed track and everyone's wearing helmets and HANS devices.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

It's funny that my non-biking, non-snob reading co-workers keep asking me if I've seen that new bike messenger show on the travel channel. I just play along and say yea I heard about that.

Anonymous said...

100!
i miss kiki...u think she uses chain lube?

Michael said...

Would a couch go in his Walnut Glove Compartment?

Anonymous said...

the most enforced statute in the US--contempt of cop.

Marcel Da Chump said...

Since the NYPD ticket blitz, I've been stopping at every light--even when there are no cars or pedestrians crossing. And it's added time to my rides. I'm on the bike longer. The more I think about that; the better it sounds.

Anonymous said...

If it were not for road wussies (men that like to dress like women) and pansy commuters
(boring people) we would have no bike lanes.

Give them a golf clap.

-angry dragon

Anonymous said...

Hay anom 10:15
Litlle outside of LR maybe we could get a recum group together this weekend?
My name is larry and you can get me at larryfingers@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

Marcel Marcel Marcel
Sucks 2 B a poser.

Real men spandex don't spank each other.
Unless that's how U roll the Ballz.

-angry dragon

Anonymous said...

bike snob, bless you for tending the flame of bike sense (it's a vehicle you yourself power, to get from place to place, it belongs on the road, and it doesn't have to be a fetish object or "lifestyle statement") against the winds of ignorance (everything about "bike culture," essentially).

keep at it. please.

Marcel Da Chump said...

Angry 'disaffected' Dragon,
You seem to take pride in carrying your natural stupidity to the utmost limit. Keep trying, your far from reaching it.

-angry fool said...

I am a socially inept loser who can only bring sadness and stupidity to blog postings. Please ignore me.

Anonymous said...

Marcel Marcel Marcel

Only a term of endearment.

If you hang with gangster or posers?

I will be looking for the tulips.

-angry dragon

Robert G. said...

Snob,

I don't know, man. My favorite part of the Bike Messanger Fashion Guide was the second slide, which claims that gloves are reserved "for you hard-core cyclists" for the simple reason that "spending all day on the bike can be rough on the hands!"

Ah, yes... spoken like someone who's never spent half a second flying off a bike, hands-first onto the pavement.

Marcel Da Chump said...

"Truth is the rarest and most beautiful of all qualities"
-DELACROIX

Anonymous said...

Bitter Snobby. All bitter.

You are supposed to LOVE that cycling shirt. Any blogger wanting to transition to a media job would LOVE that shirt demanding artisanal racks and panniers for everyone riding a bike.

This concludes today's lesson.

disc_brake_dopes said...

No one at Maserati knows what happens to a wheel mounted in a traditional fork with a rear-mounted disc brake?

The launching of said rider when wheel comes out of dropouts at the worst possible time... That's what.

Who is first? C'mon it doesn't hurt too much.

Heather said...

When is the last time you emailed someone 6 sofa cushions or $30,000 worth of dresses?

Anonymous said...

Bike Snob. Every time I read your blog (which isn't often) I try to picture what you look like. I picture you as slightly chubby. Not fat by any means. Just plump around the top of your chammy. A really solid weekend warrior. I think you shop at that terrible mega bike shop in Park slope with the $5,000 carbon wall street bikes. You have to be in your late 30's mid 40's. You hate young "hipster" bike kids. But you yourself are kind of an aged version. You are a total douche bag dude. You write a blog called bike snob. It is sometimes moderately funny at best. One day your gonna piss some agro drunk messenger kid off and he is gonna clothesline you. On that day I will surely laugh at your blog. Until then get a girlfriend or go play with your kids. You just made me waste 20 mins of my life reading your shitty blog.

ekle paylas said...

nice blog Thanks for sharing. voicesohbet was really very nice.
sesli chat siteleri sesli sohbet
sesli sohbet siteleri sesli chat
seslichat seslisohbet
sesli siteleri chat siteleri
sohbet siteleri sesli siteler
voice sohbet sesli sohbet siteleri
sesli sohbet seslisohbet
sohbet siteleri sesli chat siteleri
seslichat sesli chat
herkesburda herkes burda
sohbetmerkezi sohbetmerkezi

Anonymous said...

The article was very interesting and informative for me. weight loss Read a useful article about tramadol tramadol

Fixie Bikes said...

I couldn't agree more, messengers shouldn't have a monopoly on the "danger" it's stuff everyone with a bike goes through.