Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The Salmon Defense: Against the Current, Down the River

As you may have read elsewhere on the "World (except for Saudi Arabia, Burma, China, North Korea, Cuba, Egypt, Iran, Uzbekistan, Syria, Tunisia, Turkmenistan, and Vietnam) Wide Web" (or WEFSABCNKCEIUSTTVWW for short) by now, the Wall Street Journal has officially run out of legitimate news and was consequently forced to publish an article about my "identity." This marks a first for me, since while I often appear in the Journal it's usually because I've engineered yet another ruthless corporate takeover, so this was a refreshing change of pace. You can read the full article here, and it looks like this:

Besides revealing my actual name (which, incidentally, is "Ace" Brophy as many have speculated) the article also includes a salacious full frontal cockpit shot:

Seeing my painstakingly reconstructed cockpit in a widely read publication was a triumphant moment for me, coming mere weeks after the prior iteration of my cockpit was ruthlessly abducted on the mean streets of Greenwich Village and right in front of a public library. Also, I even got mentioned on the local news by the Canadian guy who reads the newspapers to us every morning (I believe in Canada this is what's called a "shout-oot"), though unfortunately he mispronounced my first name. (How you can mispronounce "Ace" I don't know, though I suppose the fact that he's Canadian might have something to do with it.)

Anyway, I want to thank Jason Gay for taking the time to write a kind article about me, the people quoted therein for taking the time to talk to him, and the Wall Street Journal for deigning to publish it. I also want to un-thank and revile the Wall Street Journal's rival newspaper, which got wind of the article just before publication and attempted to execute a last-minute "cockblocking" maneuver yesterday wherein they ran some half-assed piece of their own. Most of all, though, I want to thank everybody for reading so far, and for hopefully continuing to do so. Obviously, in a few days I will reinvent myself and switch the focus of this blog entirely to gardening, but until then I remain,

Very truly yours,

Moving on to far more important matters, while the mainstream media was busy "outing" some low-ranking member of the "doucherati," a high-ranking judge made a landmark legal decision that may very well negatively impact the world of cycling forever. So significant is this decision that it makes the whole New York City Critical Mass parade rule thing look about as important as the "Fixie Crew's" decision to buy cockles at Whole Foods. I am referring to a case that recently aired on the television show "Judge Judy" ("Judge Judy" is the Supreme Court of the eating-Cheetos-on-the-sofa-all-day set) in which a driver (the Plaintiff) is suing a cyclist (the Defendant) for running into his car:



As it happens, this video was actually forwarded to me by a friend of the Defendant, and I watched it with interest. Here's the Plaintiff, a 23 year-old named Justin Stern, who claims a cyclist hit his car and whose spectacles-and-no-tie ensemble marks him as a "doucherati" aspirant:

And here's the Defendent, the 20 year-old and mellifluously-named Clark Harney, decked out in formal beige for the occasion:

Anyway, at first it seems that this is going to be just another case, but then Harney does something that will soon change the world of cycling irrevocably: He blames the collision on the fact that he was forced to take evasive action when he encountered a "salmon" in the bike lane. Here is Harney's digital (that's "digital" as in finger-based) reenactment:
And here is the actual "salmon" that Harney is attempting to finger:

(Indignant salmon does not find Harney's fingering pleasurable)

To my knowledge, this is the first time that somebody has attempted to invoke the so-called "Salmon Defense" in such an auspicious venue, and such a defense is sort of like a CO2 inflator in that you'd better be sure everything is air-tight before you use it or else it's a total waste. Sadly, Harney's case is not air-tight, and the CO2 cartridge of his defense instead explodes in a burst of gas and careens wildly about the court. Here's Judge Judy gesticulating dismissively with her thumb:

Here's a nonplussed Harney, whose caption has been downgraded from "Bike Rider" to "Admits he couldn't see what was coming:"

And here's the salmon again, looking shifty, scheming, and untrustworthy like all her kind:

In the end, Judge Judy rules that Harney must pay Stern a whopping $1,900 to cover the repairs to his car, which prompts me to wonder what kind of damage a diminutive-looking fellow like Harney could have possibly inflicted on a big hunk of metal. It seems to me you'd have to be riding a Surly Pugsley (complete with handlebar-mounted battering ram) at Mark Cavendish-like speeds to break the $1,000 barrier, and I doubt very much that Harney can unleash a sprint anything close to that of the "Man Missile." But while I smell corruption (as well as a hint of salmon) I am more concerned about the fact that Harney has effectively squandered the "Salmon Defense." Had he argued his case more effectively and the judge ruled in his favor, a legal precedent would have been set and the rest of us could successfully blame everything on salmon too and they'd become our all-purpose legal scapegoats (or scapefish). Instead, thanks to Harney's hapless finger gestures, we now can't use the "Salmon Defense" at all. I guess we'll just have to blame everything on Rollerbladers now.

Meanwhile, no sooner had I recovered from this miscarriage of justice than I learned that scientists have discovered a new breed of human beings who can drive and talk on the phone simultaneously:

Apparently, these preternatural multitaskers are called "supertaskers," and they're real-life superheroes who can perform incredible acts of schmuckery like placing calls while driving and accepting calls while driving. Unfortunately, even though "supertaskers" only make up 2.5% of the population, the remaining 97.5% of the population will now also conclude that they are "supertaskers" and, like that guy with the yogurt franchises, continue to drive around endangering the rest of us. First, salmon are allowed to run with impunity; next, you get hit by some yogurt slinger on his cellphone who taps a bevy of "experts" to testify in court that he's a medically certified "supertasker" and that he was not responsible for crushing your hopes, dreams, and bones into so much walnut topping.

But there is still hope for cyclists, and fortunately, famously car-centric Los Angeles is continuing to become more bike-friendly. First, the LAPD Chief declared his commitment to protecting cyclists. Then, the city entered into the embarrassingly ebullient "demeaning yourself" phase of its cycling evolution by playing host to a "Tweed Ride," as forwarded to me by a reader:



If you're unfamiliar with the concept of the "Tweed Ride," it's basically when a bunch of people ride their bicycles around a city while dressed as Victorians. Here's one "Faketorian" drinking from a period-correct paper cup:

Here's another piloting what appears to be a Giant Revive:

His fellow "Faketorians" call him "Captain Anachronism."

So amid all this faux-gentility, one might be tempted to ask, "Whither street cred?" Well, here it is, and it can be yours, thanks to this Craigslist ad forwarded to me by another reader:

This bike is apparently all you need to be the "Fixie King:"


It's also got a lengthy, formidable, and borderline "epic" pedigree:

MAKE ME AN OFFER FIXIE KID.

IM FRICKIN OVER IT, BUDDY, AND SO NOW IS YOUR CHANCE. EVERYONE WANTS THIS BIKE AND IF THE MONEYS RIGHT ITS YOURS.
MY MESSENGER PALS HAVE OFFERED ME BIG BUCKS COUNTLESS TIMES FOR THIS THING AND IVE ALWAYS TURNED EM DOWN, BUT I NO LONGER GIVE A RATS ASS ABOUT TRACK BIKES.
SCORE FOR YOU, YOU TIGHT PANTS ELECTRO SHOW PBR CHUGGING GIRLS HAIRCUT COKE SNORTER.

THIS BIKE HAS BEEN RACED ALL OVER THIS FREAKIN PLANET AND WON MORE CRAP THAN I'LL EVER BE ABLE TO GET RID OF. IT BEAT THE FASTEST MESSENGER IN NEW YORK (THATS RIGHT ROOKIE, IM TALKIN ABOUT FELIPE. LEARN IT. LIVE IT. KNOW IT.) IN THE FOURTH OF JULY SPRINTS AND HE WAS ON ACID AND I WAS JUST DRUNK SO THERE YA GO, COOL GUY, ITS FAST.

RIDDEN IN THE WARRIORS RACE, NYC., WINNER, BEST COLORS.

RIDDEN IN HALLOWEEN ALLEYCAT THROWN BY SQUID, NYC. TOOK MUSHROOMS, PUKED. GOT PART OF MY COSTUME IN A QUEENS BOULEVARD HOOKERS' MOUTH.

RIDDEN IN KYOTOLOCO. WINNER, TRACKSTAND. WINNER, FREESTYLE, WINNER, FOOTDOWN. WINNER, BEST OUT OF TOWN.

RIDDEN NACC, HOUSTON, TX, 2ND PLACE, TRACKSTAND

RIDDEN IN GLASGOPOLOCO, GLASGOW SCOTLAND. WINNER, 1ST OUT OF TOWN. WINNER, FREESTYLE. WINNER, TRACKSTAND. WINNER, BEST OUT OF TOWNER. WINNER, FARTHEST TRAVELLED. WINNER, OVERALL POINTS.

RIDDEN TO THE BAR. ALL OF THEM.

NEVER EVER EVER EVER RIDDEN IN CRITICAL MASS.

KHS AERO TRACK ALUMINUM TRACK RACING FRAME 57CM AND FITS LIKE A 54- 55 (SLOPED TOP TUBE, GENIUS. IT'LL FIT ANYONE WHO CAN RIDE A 53 TO A 59.),IN ORIGINAL RED COLORWAY WITH ORIGINAL LOGOS AND ACTUAL BIKE MESSENGER STICKERS PLACED LONG AGO BY AN ACTUAL WORKING WORLD TRAVELING ALLEY CATTING RACING MULTIPLE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS AND NACC ATTENDING 6 YEAR VETERAN SF BIKE MESSENGER,
ULTEGRA HEADSET BECAUSE IT CAN STAND THE ABUSE, SMART GUY. YOUY CAN RE-TUNE YOUR VINTAGE C-RECORD ONE EVERY DAY OR RUN THIS ONE AND NEVER TOUCH IT. AND ITS LIGHTER SO YOUR ARMS CAN LIFT IT, SINCE YOUVE NEVER WORKED A DAY IN YOUR LIFE AND YOU HAVE A HANGOVER.
CAMPAGNOLO 165 MM BMX CRANKS FILED TO PREVENT BREAKAGE BY A REAL ACTUAL GENUINE BONA FIDE WORKING NON ROOKIE O.G. VETERAN SAN FRANCISCO BIKE MESSENGER (NOT JUST DRESSED LIKE ONE) SO THEY WILL NOT BREAK NO MATTER HOW HOT YOU GET TRYING TO IMPRESS THAT FIXIE CHICK IN YOUR ROOMMATES FRIGGIN ALLEY CAT.
BRIGESTONE KEIRIN FORK, GREY COLORWAY, RACED ON THE KEIRIN TRACK, PURCHASED AT BRIDGESTONE KEIRIN FRAME FACTORY, KYOTO, JAPAN.
CAMPAGNOLO SEALED CARTRIDGE BOTTOM BRACKET. ONCE AGAIN, YOU CAN JACK WITH YOUR C-RECORD ONE EVERY TIME YOU WANT TO RIDE, OR RUN THIS ONE AT A WEIGHT INCREASE OF 6 GRAMS AND NEVER HAVE TO TOUCH IT AGAIN. YOUR CHOICE, BIKE EXPERT.
GOLD KEIRIN CHAIN. BLING FRIGGIN BLING.
UNOBTANIUM SEAT POST COLLAR. PHYSICALLY LIGHTER THAN AIR. ACTUALLY REDUCES WEIGHT OF BIKE BY 3 GRAMS.

THIS THING IS SET UP HOW A REAL MESSENGER SET IT UP. I KNOW BECAUSE IM THE ONE THAT BUILT IT, NOT VALENCIA CYCLERY, AND NOT CAUSE I HANDED EM 5 GRAND OF DADDYS MONEY AND SAID MAKE ME LOOK COOL.
AND SO NOW YOU CAN TAKE THAT MONEY THAT YOUR DADDY GAVE YOU FOR ART COLLEGE TUITION AND BUY THE BIKE THAT IS GUARANTEED TO GET YOU UNPROTECTED SEX IN THE BATHROOM AT THAT FIXIE HIPSTER BAR ON 16TH.

I GOT WHEELS AND TIRES AND SEATS AND SEATPOSTS AND PEDALS AND STEMS AND BARS AND ALL THAT OTHER CRAP LAYING AROUND SO IF THE MONEYS RIGHT I'LL LET YOU SET THIS THING UP AND I'LL EVEN ASSEMBLE IT FOR YOU SINCE YOUVE NEVER TOUCHED A WRENCH IN YOUR LIFE. CAMPY CAMPY CAMPY. ALL THAT CRAP IS PHIL WOOD AND KEIRIN AND CAMPY AND IT'LL GET YOU NOTICED ON VALENCIA.

SO THATS IT. YOU FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH YOU WANT THIS THING, ADD TWO ZEROS TO THE END OF THAT TO GET CLOSER TO REALITY AND EMAIL ME.

WILL SHIP.

KEYWORDS: TRACK, FIXIE, FIXED GEAR, COKE PROBLEM, ELECTRO, MOPED, VALENCIA, CAMPAGNOLO, PHIL WOOD, PABST BLUE RIBBON, HAMMS, TECATE, POPS BAR, DELIRIUM, BENDERS', ZEITGEIST, THE PHONE BOOTH, THE MAKE OUT ROOM, PERIOD BLOOD, JAY REATARD, MESSENGER, FAKENGER, POSER, ART SCHOOL, FREIGHT BAGGAGE, TIMBUKTU, SINGLE SPEED, CHOPPER, BOBBER, NIKE, REEBOK, PASTEL, ALL OVER PRINT, HIP HOP, HUF, UPPER PLAYGROUND, RETRO, TIGHT PANTS, TRANSVESTITE, ANTI HERO, ALEY CAT, MESSENGER, BIKE RACE, BICYCLE, WICKED RAD, AWESOME, SICK, HOT, SWEET, SEXY, TITS, BUTT LUBE


Not only will this bicycle make you the "Fixie King," but it will also give you at least three STDs. You might be better off sticking with Walmart.

238 comments:

1 – 200 of 238   Newer›   Newest»
Sean Yeager said...

word

wishiwasmerckx said...

Winner?

chreese said...

Top Ten!

wishiwasmerckx said...

Oh, well...

dignan said...

podiggedy?

dignan said...

nope

yorkie said...

top 10?

Dead Fish Hands said...

I'm putting brakes back on my fixie just for you, bike snob. FOR YOUUUUUUUUUU!!!

streepo said...

top ten!!

DogShot said...

Top 20 . . . wet shoes slowed me down.

Astroluc said...

PACK FODR

Snobby is REAL

Anonymous said...

je suis dans les vingt principaux

Anonymous said...

top 20 on this memorable post!

Anonymous said...

OMGGGGZZZZZ BSNYC has revealed his identity. Billy's Crystals is he.

leroy said...

Wait, you mean Vito isn't real?

Now I wonder about the bona fides of that monkey I met at Henry Public crying in his beer about being replaced by an intern.

I loaned the chimp twenty bucks.

I feel so embarrassed.

Good thing I'm still anonymous.

Jefe said...

Damn, you are early Eben!

Sparkle said...

All hail the fixie king.

luciferyellow said...

DOES THIS CAPSLOCK MAKE ME LOOK FAT (PHAT)?

Nate said...

This is great...

OBA said...

RTMS is 2 legit 2 quit

DogShot said...

Greatest CL post ever! You can't make that sh*t up so it must be real. Oh, and then just add 2 zeros.

rezado said...

hi-rez

mlliu said...

Wait, that anchor is Canadian?

Snob, we might know your name now, but it has yet to be determined whether or not you are an actual hipster. (You look suspiciously like one in the WSJ photo.)

Anyway, congrats to you and your wife on impending parenthood.

hillbilly said...

can't believe the old gray lady screwed you like that.

wishiwasmerckx said...

At first, I really wanted to know the Snob's true identity just because it was a secret. As time went on, I actually decided that I'd rather not know, and wondered how he would promote the upcoming book without outing himself.

Well, eben a while since the Times article, and now we know. Harken back to that fateful night 36 years ago when his mom, still groggy from the anesthesia, misspelled "Evan" on his birth certificate. The rest, as they say, is history.

In retrospect, all the signs were there. We just did not see them.

Did not the great John F. Kennedy famously declare "Eben ein Berliner?"

Most nights, CommieCanuck shares a beer with his neighbor, Ben, after work, and he's always saying "Eben, pass me another Molsons, woodja?"

This comment board has long been looked at as a Garden of Eben of sorts.

And there are those who long suspected Mr. Weiss's alter ego.I wonder if he's eben in fear of being unmasked. They would say to him, " You're the Bikesnob, don't eben deny it."

Brian said...

Going by the Fixie King's conversion factor, I'm willing to pay $100 for that KHS frame.

DogShot said...

For all the work put in on that CL post, you think the Fixie King would have done a better job with that picture. Snob, now that you are outed maybe you could give lessons on how to take a photo?

Todd said...

The Bike Salmon defendant should have insisted on seeing Judge Joe Brown instead of Judge Judy. JJB is a pretty avid cyclist.

Anonymous said...

He misspelled poseur.

Bike ain't even got wheels! said...

TOO BAD THE FIXIE KING'S MESSENGER PALS ARE ALL IMAGINARY!

He could just say, "Okay," the next time one of them offered him big bucks for his whip, and avoid making an ass of himself.

Anonymous said...

Of course the snob is a (self-loathing) hipster. He dropped all the right names, made fun of the right people.

I'm just surprised to see he's about 8 years younger than I would have guessed.

Hey Snob, I was a punk before you were a punk.

ant1 said...

ant1st!

marc said...

for 3 years i've read, speculated and hoped...knowing your identity has created a new void, but i'll persevere. thank you so much for the 10s of minutes of reading every day! i look forward to the book.

mikeweb said...

So when did Jason Gay move from the NYT to the WSJ?!? Or is he the FREELANCE F-ING KING! (not to be confused with the "Free Lance F-ing King".

Also Snobby, that Craigslist ad is freaking brilliant. You need to hire whoever wrote it as intern #2. And by 'hire' I mean have work for no money and pay them in free swag that you get sent to review.

Bruce Banner said...

Eben Weiss?! Sounds like a song from the Sound of Music! Snobby, how could you throw it all away? I feel like I just found out that Superman is Clark Kent, Batman is Bruce Wayne, Dame Edna is some Aussie transvestite!
And to the Wall Street Journal of all papers?! Did you want Ann Coulter to find out first?
Well, there is nothing left now but waiting for the inevitable BSNYC merchandising. Can't wait to buy my official Rapha Epic BSNYC handlebar mounted book holder for mobile editors.

TJ Eckleburg said...

Can't wait for the book, Snobby.

When is it descending?

Conspiracy theory said...

Yea baby top 50, now I'm rockin!

plum said...

Ace you could have done an entire post on just the CL ad alone. That thing is impressive. The guy is a obviously a huge dick, but an awesome one, like B.A. Baracus.

Anonymous said...

You came out at the same time as Ricky Martin!

Chris said...

Rapha x Eben Weiss callabo cycling yarmulke drops with the book...

hillbilly said...

Mikeweb - comment of the day for "free lance f*&&ing king" . brilliant!

IBS said...

Just beacuse you are dressed like me doesnt mean you are me.

PRID BLOD

Bad Lawyer said...

Before commenting I did some research, LexisNexis has no case citations or briefs relating to the Salmon defense. Neither does westlaw; not the REstatement of Torts; however if you Google "Salmon Defense" there is an actual listing for a NGO called SalmonDefense.org which relates to saving the fish. The 3d listed result is this very post.

I do agree that establishing cycling-related precedent with Judge Judy was probably ill-advised.

Anonymous said...

well

Shram said...

I am Bike Snob!

congrats, and...I called it. Not his identity, but the book, followed by the daytime talk show circuit. Look it up!

Udder said...

"Splash." (The sound of a shark jumping)

g said...

I was really hoping to see Snob on tour wearing one of those Mexican wrestling masks and Prolly would come running in and rip it off. Frilly, jumps in with a folding chair and smacks Prolly with it, grabbing the mask and rushing it to the Barnes and Nobel mens room....

That's was I was really hoping for....

DogShot said...

Bad Lawyer:

Wouldn't you agree that the attempted use of the "Salmon Defense" was misdirected? What was Judge Judy supposed to say, "OK, Ms. Salmon, I order you to step into the shoes of Mr. Defedant because you were negligent"? Perhaps Mr. Defendant could sue Ms. Salmon for causing him to incur the wrath (and $1,900 in damages) of Mr. No-Tie, in which case he would be able to re-use his handy-dandy visual aid and by doing so establish "Salmoning" as an actionable tort. Better go forum shopping, however, as I doubt Judge Judy will want to see him again. I think an earlier commenter said Judge Joe Brown was a cyclist (unless he rides a recumbent in which case I would just chip off the $1,900 and be done with it).

DogShot said...

Bad Lawyer:

Wouldn't you agree that the attempted use of the "Salmon Defense" was misdirected? What was Judge Judy supposed to say, "OK, Ms. Salmon, I order you to step into the shoes of Mr. Defedant because you were negligent"? Perhaps Mr. Defendant could sue Ms. Salmon for causing him to incur the wrath (and $1,900 in damages) of Mr. No-Tie, in which case he would be able to re-use his handy-dandy visual aid and by doing so establish "Salmoning" as an actionable tort. Better go forum shopping, however, as I doubt Judge Judy will want to see him again. I think an earlier commenter said Judge Joe Brown was a cyclist (unless he rides a recumbent in which case I would just chip off the $1,900 and be done with it).

DogShot said...

D'oh. Double post with a typo. Judy Judy would hold me in contempt.

DogShot said...

Uh, I mean Judge Judy. Think I'll go back to work now.

Jefe said...

I agree with Bad Lawyer. Getting an adverse ruling from Judge Judy will only hinder the filing of future salmon injury lawsuits on other faux trial shows. The best thing to do now is have the salmon classified as "endangered" so Japanese fishermen will deplete their schools.

Marc said...

Nice to finally meet you Eben!

flynn said...

hey WSJ, how has the wallmart fixed-speed affected the pista-dex? that's LEGITIMATE news.

thegock said...

AZIZ PSAK

Ed said...

TOP 60

thegock said...

EBEN WEIS

Anonymous said...

I'm surprised there's no comment on the WSJ's "real-like" [sic] Bike Snob.

grog said...

Dear Gardensnob,
How should i keep those pesky mountainbikers out of my dandylion patch. I love your magazine.
SNGL TARK

Anonymous said...

outed by a man named gay..livin la vida Eben.

Helen said...

Well, it's all ruined for me now. Balls.

innerlighter said...

Now the only mystery left for us is Frilly's true identity.

...and Snobby, you could have just hired Rip to do your book signings. As long as you got him a driver, of course.

Anonymous said...

You know, I am not sure puking on a bike is a great advertising hook.

But what do I know about the fixie crowd--other than apparently they like passing around STDs.

Pontius Pilate said...

HAIL CSZR

-P.P.

MINGUStheMECHANIC said...

I knew you were jewish but thought you were black.

Is eben short for ebenezer? Did your parents smoke crack?

I don't care what your name is as long as I'm entertained for free, which means I aint reading your book.

kuba said...

I KNEW YOU WAS JEWISH!

Happy Passover from Jerusalem

Anonymous said...

Oh dear:
Mr. Armstrong, who is competing in the Tour of Flanders in Belgium on April 4, also learned the Snob's name early on, and has ridden with Mr. Weiss on visits to New York. "He's really smart and well read," Mr. Armstrong said. "I have no problem spending four hours [riding] with him."

So...Mr. Armstrong is saying that is the Snob wasn't smart and well-read, he WOULD have a problem spending four hours with him? And isn't the WSJ assuming something there--maybe Mr. Armstrong doesn't have a problem spending four hours with someone smart and well-read, but riding, well....

So, the Snob and his wife are expecting. Soon we'll see posts on bike trailers...

ant1 said...

innerlighter - Mrs. Weiss? think about it. she gets pregnant, underwear pic comes off the profile...

Jake said...

RTMS either outed himself a year ago or someone else did:
http://www.streetsblog.org/2009/03/19/schluffing-or-dorklocross/

Check the comments on this post.

Phil said...

This intersection at Pardall and Embarcadero Del Norte is one of the busiest in Isla Vista. They should've shown a photo. At that time of day, traffic would be crazy with bike salmon.

http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&source=s_q&hl=en&geocode=&q=pardall+%26+embarcadero+del+norte,+isla+vista,+ca&sll=34.413566,-119.85569&sspn=0.00616,0.013754&ie=UTF8&hq=&hnear=Embarcadero+Del+Norte+%26+Pardall+Rd,+Isla+Vista,+Santa+Barbara,+California+93117&ll=34.413106,-119.85539&spn=0.00077,0.001719&t=h&z=19&layer=c&cbll=34.413105,-119.855329&panoid=HhFtMDuDy2FON5yiS8HLBg&cbp=12,0.77,,0,5

Bad Lawyer said...

Oh, by the way, as Judge Judy would say if given the chance, Happy Passover!

I am the engine said...

Snob. Now that you have been outted by the times (real journalists), and have a big book tour.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrRPA25UBGg&feature=related

and for the purists.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPiK_yGG8ag

Everything is better with Barry White.

Cyclin' Missy said...

Kinda scared to sit on that fixie. Once you get an STD (saddle transmitted disease), you never get rid of it. Not worth it just for a cheap craigslist ride!

lol

Bugs "shafted by Kelly" Moran said...

I figured you were the nonplussed Italian Model....
Get that book out soon.
Congrats on the child!

Doug said...

I shoulda figured you were my age......I got a little one coming in October, can you review some baby cycling stuff for me! Thanks!

Stupid Name said...

first thing.

Get out of the middle of the road, especially for a photo shoot.

You are really John Cusak's younger brother.

http://www.imdb.com/media/rm553817600/tt0884224

Gordon Gecko you are not, I think Rupert Murdoch is the man to save the tarck bike.

"Mr. Armstrong, who is competing in the Tour of Flanders in Belgium on April 4, also learned the Snob's name early on, and has ridden with Mr. Weiss on visits to New York. "He's really smart and well read," Mr. Armstrong said. "I have no problem spending four hours [riding] with him."

I guess Lance felt the same way about Contador. Ok maybe he thinks Contador is a douchebag, and that is why he cant play with team Radio Shack.

ringcycles said...

Of Course Judge Judy saw through this defense, Ms. Houlihan doesn't appear to be a salmon at all. I can't even imagine her grilled with dill and pineaple, and so we haven't had a legal lox case yet.

Regarding the coming kipper,
mazel tov!

ant1 said...

stupid name - that move is called grizzlying. you stand there waiting for salmon to make their way upstream and when one goes by you, you stick a pump in their spokes and, voila, you have dinner.

CommieCanuck said...

Wait, that anchor is Canadian?

They all are. We walk among you, we look like you, we talk like you, we can be your next door neighbour, but when we say "neighbour", you can't hear the "u", oh...but it's there, ...it's there.

Canadian sleeper cells are everywhere, promoting a hidden agenda of free healthcare, politeness, tolerance of gays, and forcing people to drink milk from bags.

That's because we are stealing all your children, and we don't want then to be found.

(Written in my new shed)

Anonymous said...

At first, I wanted so badly to know who you were. After a while, though, I became nonplussed with your identity. I figured you'd share at some point. I'll look for you at the races. Maybe you can sign my chest or something. I'll never stop reading, though!

Anonymous said...

Congrats on the baby and book.

Those arm tattoos can be removed by soaking in DMSO and using sandpaper locally on the affected area.

"I have no problem spending four hours [riding] with him."

Yeah, right. Who came up with the " [riding]" in that sentence? We all know what you mean Lance.

I am the fixie god. said...

"KHS AERO TRACK ALUMINUM TRACK RACING FRAME 57CM AND FITS LIKE A 54- 55 (SLOPED TOP TUBE, GENIUS. IT'LL FIT ANYONE WHO CAN RIDE A 53 TO A 59"

Wow, now why would any bike maker bother to make multiple sizes. KHS apparently has found a way to make the omni-bike.

What can't this bike do?

Douchebag.

3G said...

MAZE LTOV
ANON 4EVA

Anonymous said...

I've decided to pretend this day never happened. Your unmasking, Judy's judgment, the tweed ride and reading, "MAKE ME AN OFFER FIXIE KID." All gone. Cancelled.

See you tomorrow bike snob!

Stupid Name said...

Ant-

Grizzly bears are big.
Salmon are small. (when compared to bears).

Mr. Weiss is not a bear.

I bet that photographer only weighs 120 pounds when wet and dressed as a salmon.

http://distractible.org/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/bacardi-salmon.jpg

CommieCanuck said...

KHS apparently has found a way to make the omni-bike.

Oh sure, be sarcastic, but when Bruce Banner needs a bike, he's fucked, because he goes from a 53 to as 59 in ten seconds, especially when he's pissed off at salmon.

Luckily, he's wearing lycra during this period, which is why he got into cycling in the first place. His bike even matches his green colourway.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Growing up, Book deal, Baby on the way. I see a recumbent in your future Snob.

Anonymous said...

That KHS bike scares me.

mikeweb said...

NEVER EVER EVER EVER RIDDEN IN CRITICAL MASS.

The best part of that CL ad.

Ray LaHood - I am your friend said...

"CAMPAGNOLO 165 MM BMX CRANKS FILED TO PREVENT BREAKAGE BY A REAL ACTUAL GENUINE BONA FIDE WORKING NON ROOKIE O.G. VETERAN SAN FRANCISCO BIKE MESSENGER (NOT JUST DRESSED LIKE ONE) SO THEY WILL NOT BREAK"

I want one, what is it?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhlaMnwxKP0&feature=player_embedded

I am your friend.

AxisOfEvil said...

GOT PART OF MY COSTUME IN A QUEENS BOULEVARD HOOKERS' MOUTH

Was that Licensed to Ill, or Paul's Boutique?

yogisurf said...

Hey Snobby, good to put name to a face. GREAT post today, I laughed several times. I also read most of the comments and your fans came up with some good quips. I will buy the book, 'cause I'm a sucker for buying more bike stuff then I need. BTW, my new avatar is yours truly worshiping the lobster god at dinner.

Anonymous said...

Outed by a Gay...how ironic.

yogisurf said...

Take two

Salty Seattle said...

Phew!

Now that the telltale 'cat' is out of the ironic 'bag', can we please get back to discussions of fromage, nee cheese?

mmm... cheese... so forbidden and sinful...

BTW, the $1900 in damage makes me think that pre-term douche is driving a Mini Cooper. Like many hand-made works of art, they're made of tin foil, and are, therefore, susceptible to easy damage.

Anonymous said...

I'm going to pretend this didn't happen. I don't care about your book, or your baby, or your wife. These are all fine things in the real world I guess, but I prefer you to be an anonymous and faceless oracle of bicycle related sarcasm. the CL ad a classic example.

urchin said...

Chapeau, Snob--perhaps you should have waited until Wednesday so most of us wouldn't remember.

I'll put Hockney from The Usual Suspects onto the lookalike list.

still just NPJ

mikeweb said...

@LaHood, 3:26:

Funny, a friend of mine just sent me a link to that on LaHood's own DOT blogsite.

More hot air? I hope not...

mikeweb said...

Da' link to LaHood's blog

ant1 said...

zip up jersey...

ant1 said...

pushed over the line. damn.

Anonymous said...

Hookers on Queens Blvd? Where?

frilly said...

g--That's really funny. You made me LOL, honestly. And, fwiw, I have been working out A LOT, so I could probably inflict some serious hurt with a folding chair.

And ha ha ha on me being Mrs. Snob. I live in St L and am just a chick on a bike with a fetish for lacy underpants.

CommieCanuck said...

Ant1: you failed to kiss your religious icon around your neck and point to the sky. Lobster is a vengeful God.

Anonymous said...

So your corporation finally put up a front man?

It is a corporation folks. No one person could be "The Bike Snob".

The fakery continues...just with a name and a face...

NSCADU9 said...

Hey Ace, judging by that photo, me thinks you are hiding knuckle tattoos on your right.

mikeweb said...

Thanks hillbilly, but that honor should maybe go to g, or as usual, CC.

BTW, we really need BGW up in here on this auspicious occassion...

mikeweb said...

...just sayin'...

Correcteur said...

Great post, Snob. Congratulations on the baby BSNYC on its/his/her way!

Quibbles: Udder at 1:30 said: "Splash." (The sound of a shark jumping)

But no; you jump; the shark stays in place, right? It's not the "jumping shark," it's "jumping the shark."

le Correcteur
(we specialize in prose with fully integrated features and amazingly light weight).

Randoboy said...

I love how the bevy of babes behind Herr Harney are giving him mega-nonplussitude.

IBS said...


Snob
@ 15, 20, 30, and 1:45.

NOOO OOOO
KNCK TATS

Anonymous said...

BUT WHAT DOES THE OPINIONATED CYCLIST THINK ABOUT ALL THIS????!!!!!

grrrll said...

I can't stop feeling that the snob has sold out... am I the only one?

Anonymous said...

So basically you are a scrawny Jewish guy who once tried to be a hipster?

Anonymous said...

Damn Man! I wish I diddn't know that. It's like when Cindy Crawford spoke, just wasn't necessary. Damn. Damn. Damn...

bikesgonewild said...

...congratufuckinglations bsnyc/rtms ace brophy/eben weiss, you ol' haimisher mensch !!!...

...for the coming out, ehhh, not so much (ya, ya, book sales, i got it !!!...sheesh, now i gotta pay $17.00 for the kibitzing...oy vey) but for you & the good ms goodman w/ a little one on the way, a kine-ahora...
...w/ babies n' book signings, i see no idle-weiss's around 'snob manor' this spring...

...this shaygets is ver clempt...

...sincerely,
bikesgonewild...

Wes said...

grrrll

You're not the only one. But I'm not one of you. What difference does it make to you who he is? Do you know him? The man can write, and I doubt any salmon will stop their push aginst the flow if they see him with camera at the ready.

Congratulations Snobby on everything, and more.

wishiwasmerckx said...

BGW, welcome back, and don't forget to check in with your parole officer.

bikesgonewild said...

...wow, mikeweb...good call...& while i haven't been following the site as of late, on such an auspicious day, i hadda have a say...

...bsnyc/rtms/ab/ew deserves the props for books n' babies !!!...

hillbilly said...

Hey BGW!!! Good to see ya.

red neckerson said...

the salmon chick looks just likes jolene and its kind of freking me out

id say dont get mad just get eben but you is probably getting tired of shit like that

dam ifn they didnt cancel one of my comments at the uppity yankee express times or whatever the fuck they call that paper

yankees was shitting on snobby for sitting with his feet in the water but i tolt them it was becos he was gaitering but hadnt figured out your supposed to use your hands instead of your feet but i was given him credit for trying and then i ast if i could get a free autograffed book for jolene

i think when i added the sentance fuck you yankees we shold have kicked your asses at getiesberg they might have took ofense at that

cant take no joke fuck em

Anonymous said...

Congratulations, Snob. And I'll definitely buy the book.
Sincerely,
An anonymous fan

bikesgonewild said...

...& wishiwasmerckx...i see you, mikeweb, leroy, commiecanuk, frilly, ant1, urchin & all the et al's are still keeping it honest(ly fun !!!) here...

...as the only person incarcerated on alcatraz
, i don't get out much...& hey, dammit, technically i wasn't sentenced to "the rock" but a sight seeing tour went askew but try & explain that to one's parole officer...she has no mercy...

bikesgonewild said...

...whoops...i fergot hillbilly & red neckerson...

...i knew that far eastern thingy wouldn't last, once red got busted fer stealin' sheets offa clotheslines...

Adam Weiss said...

loltats!

ant1 said...

bgw - nice to hear from you again. hope things have been good for you.

flynn said...

grrrll - it's called shark jumping when snob does it, and it already happened about 2 years ago. why would it bother you all of a sudden?

ryan said...

dang i can't believe today's post, cool!

ringcycles said...

anon 5:17, I believe Mr. Snob/Weiss actually was, like me, a proto-hipster, or bike riding punk rock dork, as we were called back-in-the-day. Since the hipster "scene" wasn't even open until 2005, and by then we had been listening to Blackflag for about 20 years, I don't think he even "tried".

Perhaps the greatest irony in all of hipsterdom, is that the dorkiest styles of 20-25 years ago, are now the pinnacle of cool. How did that happen?

Snob, if I have missed the mark on this, I apologize. I may be the last punk rock retro dork here.

yonk said...

The king is dead. Long live the king.

bikesgonewild said...

...all "funny stuff" (???) aside, i think bsnyc/rtms/ab/ew should set up something wherein "the regulars" can get a signed copy of 'the good book' somehow...

...i want one, i'll gladly buy it but i don't want one unless it's signed & i ain't going to nyc or mellow jaundice in tex-ass to buy one...

Anonymous said...

Ha! Funny to see who you are. A mention of DRI awhile back lead me to believe you were a little older. In 1983, the year of DRI's last real record, you were only nine!

Ringcycles, I think you have a Loose Nut; no one listened to Black Flag after 1984, did they?

Anonymous said...

100x sexier than I imagined. Anyone? Anyone?
Definitely buying the book.
& congratulations on baby BikeSnob!

atom bomb said...

Yes, but who is the dachshund?

Anonymous said...

and here i was thinking you were some unemployed stoner who lived at home with his mother and her menagerie of cats. hopefully we won't see you in any upcoming episodes of "celebrities gone wild" where you are caught on camera puking PBR all over a fixed gear you snagged of craigslist

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 6:36pm,

Yes, I got on the elevator at "Dealing With It!"

--BSNYC

atom bomb said...

Yes, but who is the dachshund?

Anonymous said...

This information is a great shark-jumping 45th birthday gift for me.

Fierce Panties said...

Who? Eben Weiss? Oh, you mean Bike Snob. Yea, I was into him, back in the day, you know that he was anonymous before he sold out? I was into his stuff like twenty-oh nine or was it 08? Yea, practically the dark ages. He used to be pretty hip except for rubbin' with Armstong who said it was better than reading. Not that Armstrong reads. I guess it was pretty hip to slum it with Texan jocks back in the day. Anyway, that's old flat brim hat and knuckle tats. Yea, his stuff is still pretty solid these days, but I haven't been following since his outing in the WSJ and the Mellow Johnny appearance. Ewww. But I'm happy for him, I mean the guy is well read and all.

heath said...

nice toobs.

Anonymous said...

snob, I had hoped you were that guy I used to smoke weed with at Bard.

Who was that guy?

wishiwasmerckx said...

Mingus the Mechanic, you were close. His brother's name is Eezer Weiss.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Anon 6:49, you were close. Opinionated Cyclist is the unemployed stoner who lives at home with his mother and her menagerie of cats.

Anonymous said...

Wait a second! Are posing next to you bike, positioned sideways, forcing all those other cyclists to swerve, veer, and otherwise change their line of travel just so he can drop "Blue Steel" on the WSJ photographer?
I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, and assume you're just waiting for all those other cyclists who happen to be traveling the wrong way to clear out.

Fierce Panties said...

Blue Steel!
And to think that's the guy who spoofed on my stem, bottle cage, hat, saddle, and pants.

mikeweb said...

BGW, good to hear from you! -and beware of sight seeing tours run by parole officers.

Vanonymous said...

JUMP SHRK

Fred said...

Well, if Snob's coming clean, may as well out everyone else...

My name really is Fred and I really am a terrible cyclist.

CC is Ann Coulter's adams apple.

Red Neckerson is Rahm Emanuel

WishIWasMerckx is Cadel Evans and so is Vito.

Frilly is Larry Craig.

Bad Lawyer is a pair of pants formerly owned by Night Ranger guitarist Brad Gillis.

Ant1 is a praying mantis.

LK said...

Mazel Tov Cocktails!

Ira said...

Snob,
I don't understand the animosity between you and the NY Times, and if I'm missing something here, please set me straight. Did the City Room reporter breach a promise not to reveal your name? If so, then I understand your anger. Otherwise, I don't see how you can expect any publication or blog to hold back your identity until you authorize its release. That's not up to you. You're a blogger and author, and that makes you fair game.

g-roc said...

What Bruce said.

I'm decidedly nonplussed, but not convinced any of the WSJ article is factual. In fact, I just noticed it's April 1 on the Lobsterian Calendar.

ringcycles said...

@Fred "Frilly is Larry Craig"

You should have your helmet mirror poked out for even suggesting that. The horror, the horror!

Let's talk Belgium said...

Go Millar! The english speaking world is pulling for you to either win or to burst into a spectacular ball of flames.

3DAZ PAIN

Blaiser said...

Frickin' Good Show, Ace.

Can't wait to read Baby Ace's snarky takes on ironic multi-wicking technical onesies, puked out while fending off the shoaling tricycle set.

AYHSYOTLEJ

All You Haters Suck Your Own Toes Like Eben Junior...

Squid said...

Ace- Congrats on the Family and the book too. What messenger company did you work at?
that khs looks familiar..

rubies000 said...

Wait, judging by that photo, Bike snob is Freddy Krueger? How do you stop your slicey hand from ripping up the grips on your cockpit?

random jerkoff said...

eben weiss as snob is old news sorry. any fool who really wanted to figure this out could have pieced to gether the logistics like i did a couple of years back:
he likes cyclocross, so look for races on days he takes off from the blog.
then factor in some obvious inferences: probably white, late 30s based on cultural references.
then the fact he lives in brooklyn.
punch all of this stupid crap into the us cycling site and theres your man.
i have actually just posted his name one on the comments, and within monutes it was removed by writer or what not...
he looks a little like squiggy BTW...

Anonymous said...

ricky martin is out as a lovers with eben weiss! read all about it in tomorrow's Post.

Deadhead said...

With the photo cut off at your knees...how do we know you aren't wearing shants?

Anonymous said...

She has a good set of fins for a salmon. Maybe they'll show up on FHM soon? either that or some ex-gf nudie pic website.

red neckerson said...

they reported me to the hazard mask becos i was getting bacon cheeseburgers at the hardees

i was looking forward to 72 virgineans but there aint nothing better than a hardees bacon cheeseburger when you been gaitering all day

rikim aint gone back becos he says he likes kicking the dogs and telling the poelease that they represent them crusader fellers driving the mormons out of mexico

and for some reeson lots of the ladies in vipor use pink sheets and i felt like some kinder ricky martin feller when i stolt the sheets to make my bandaner things

rikim is just going to have to start wearing panties on his head the fucking pervert

vivacious_g said...

Just started cycling last fall, really appreciate the info and humor on your blog.

Almost did that tweed ride but didn't own any tweed.

Johnny Sprocket said...

I don't know which was the bigger 'official' news bulletin... The Snob or Ricky Martin !!

Cognorant said...

Hey Snob,

It doesn't really take much to amount to $1,900.00 in damage. I once barely nicked a bumper on a pickup truck, caused literally a dime sized scuff through the top coat and it cost me $1,800.00.

Also, Harney...not too smart, fingering the salmon....very funny & the craigslist guy? Holy crap I'm not sure what's scarier that he thinks that someone thinks that all that crap is important or that someone might actually think all that crap is important.

Oh and nice to see ya BGW!

Anonymous said...

hahahaha!!!! that is so awesome! the only thing I worry about is...what will become of the blog. After nearly three years of insightful thoughts from the snob...well I hope it doesn't fade away to fast

just curious said...

Seperated at birth eben weiss and Dave Eggers?

innerlighter said...

Ant, Yeah, I thought of that after posting.
I'd not be surprised to find out all the regulars are Snob's relatives.

Frilly, you deny...but until we see solid proof, such as photographic evidence that the lovely Sara G. lacks any road rash scars on her posterior, well...

On the other hand, if it were true, that would ruin the second greatest secret on this blog. Snob'd identity being the first, the second being the question, "Is Frilly single?".
I guess we'll find out when you get a book deal, eh?

Mehben

Visegripmikey said...

Neat!

Swashbuckling Dandy said...

Fred, stop insulting Frilly. I don't care how damn funny it was, it's just not cool.

Anonymous said...

on a lighter note, the OC is now switched his act to being a comedian reading jokes from sheets of paper:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YK8uwLdLyg

BISOUBISOU said...

Um, B.A. was not a dick. He just wanted all the kids to stick with milk.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/kimdog/2987753/

frilly said...

Larry Craig, really?!? Ewwww.

Hi bgw!

Anonymous said...

Sent the Snob's unmasked face to a ladyfriend. Her response:

"Who is that guy? beard? tattoos? he's some hipster living in Williamsburg, right?"

bikesgonewild said...

...hi, cogs, hi frilly !!!...

...any truth to the rumor that 'someone' @ the ralph m vincinanza literary agency has arranged a book deal w/ st martin's press for anyone & everyone who has ever posted on the bsnyc/rtms/ab/ew blogsite ???...

...just wonderin', just sayin'...

Sarah P said...

Gotta say all, love this site and the writing. Just dont get how its possible for soo many folks to have the same name; Anony Mous.

Anonymous said...

The Wall Street Journal has a Sports page? Articles featured are the “Identity of the Bike Snob” and “Top bobsledders and lugers race on cooking woks”? This has a Ripleys’ Believe-it-or-Not quality. It is very close to April 1st.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Just sayin.

sarliaee said...

doesn't change a thing.

just hanging out every morning for my BSNYC fix.

Bisso said...

In the bastardised words of Judge Roy Schneider "I herby bestow upon you the name BikeSnobNYC together with all his wordly poossesions including his helper monkey Vito. And no one will ever speak of this episode again... under penalty of fingerbanging"

Vive le Snob

cyclotourist said...

EBEN SNOB

leroy said...

Hey BGW, welcome back! We've been saving a "..." for you.

Nogocyclist said...

For the past years Bike Snob has written about the things he has seen around him in his life. In May Baby Snob will have his or her own Coming Out Party.

Please don't tell me your Blog will then be about your life experiences. That would mean your Blog will be all about Poop (insert your favorite word, it doesn't matter what you call it, it will still stink.)

Ha ha, I bet Nogocyclist will not leave his laptop unattended again. Don't tell him his helper Eagle knows how to type.

ervgopwr said...

Funny story today, I'm at an office and not yet gotten my daily dose of snark when I pick up the very wsj sports page to see mr weiss (whom I knew the secret identity as many others have posted about, plus my teammate did the art for the book). And I'm stunned the public outing has finally occured but I have no opportunity to celebrate that the best cycling/snark blogger is a real person with featuresway with totoal non-bike dork strangers. Fail!

Anyway, rock out with your cockpit out; Ace!

Anonymous said...

Damn! I really thought you were Elvis! Congrats on the impending Blackhole/Car Crash that is fatherhood! Watch those opportunities for epic rides disappear as you embark on the Baby Train!

cyclegoddess said...

Snob , you may want to order this from ( the late) Sheldon;s website
http://www.sheldonbrown.com/carrababy.html
Sorry, too dumb to figure out how to link.
Wow, a bike tyre explodes for no reason, two days after a ride, I saw a real Fred( tan, slightly unshaven,15,000 bike, good legs and a sneer) and snob is outed.

cyclegoddess said...

Its a good thing Snobby and I are not breeding, as seeing how skinny he is, and I am - the kids would look rather like that bike hes sitting on.

Oh and CCanuk - the Hulk thing was bloody brilliant, Matey!

7sp said...

In Swedish, "task" means "dick".

superfred said...

Best of luck with the career Mr. Weiss. Great blog and eagerly awaitn the book.

Wine & Cheese Snob said...

Well done Ace!
I look forward to reading your book. And congratulations on that first child. It must be nice to know that all those years of cycling haven't yet ruined your "pant yabbies" completely.

After your tour, it will be time to undergo some plastic surgery and name change in order to go back tot he bliss that is anonymity.

Bod said...

I didn't realise Snob was Joel Fleishman from early 90's series Due South! Will he ever get it together with Maggie? I hope so!

JUDY said...

I love that Judge Judy suggests that the (televised?) judicial system is ready and able to absorb a concatenated series of small-claims lawsuits. She is so sexy.

gih said...

uum.. that's bad.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Random Jerkoff,

I've never deleted a comment from my blog unless it was blatant spam, even if it contained my name. If you posted my name on here it's still here.

I don't think I've ever taken off for a cyclocross race, either. Those are on weekends.

--BSNYC

Christopher said...

Snobby! Congrats on (finally) coming out! (and not of the closet). Although I don't think your commute over the Big Skanky will be as solemn as you're used to now. If I see you on the street I WILL try and race you. Also congrats you're going to be a dad. I can totally see why you're "selling out" got mouths to feed now!

BikeSnobNYC said...

Ira,

Of course it's fair game, but I don't have to like the way they did it. The NYT could have done that months or even years ago; maybe even with my participation. Instead, they did it when they did and how entirely to screw a rival publication, which nearly killed an article with actual up-to-date information.

Of course, in the end it worked out for me--I got articles in the WSJ and the NYT on the same day--but as a newspaper reader does it bother you a little bit that some schmuck with a bike blog is getting way too much coverage due entirely to a reporter's petty agenda?

--BSNYC

Nogocyclist said...

Comment deleted by author means that the person writing the comment deleted it. People who post Anonymous or just with name under the Name/URL option do not get the little trash can under the post option.

I could be wrong, I have never deleted a user's comment on my blog. I have only had two people comment on my blog, so why would I remove them? I think I read that if this happens, there is no comment and no evidence there ever was a comment.

Just saying what he says is fishy, for if it happened, his comment would simply disappear, not say removed by author.

Nogocyclist said...

Snob, I have invested in Photographic equipment to take photo's of my helper eagle and her husband. I have a 300mm IS lens for taking photos of these two. They are very camera shy and will not let you close to them with a camera.

Since I have this equipment already, I am headed to NYC for some paparazzi action. I will get a shot of you and I will reveal to the whole world that knuckle tatt' you have on the hand you are hiding.

Your days of hiding in obscurity are over.

TJ Eckleburg said...

Hey Snobby/Eben, guess you're pretty busy these few days huh?

When is the book signing in NYC?

Anonymous said...

198, crap, I think people care who you are.

Anonymous said...

What is a fixie pixie? Will owning a khs make me one?

Anonymous said...

Praise be to the lobster god, he can make people famous

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