Thursday, October 1, 2009

Ridden to Distraction: Can't Afford to Pay Attention

Unless you ride exclusively on offroad trails, or in velodromes, or inside your modern home with a virtual reality trainer like the roadies do (in the roadie world, "junk miles" now include any outdoor non-racing cycling), you share the road with motor vehicles. This can be frightening, especially because you never really know a driver's mental state--he or she can be angry, inflamed with lust, or just plain stupid. And until recently, the most frowned-upon of all mental states was intoxication. However, times change, and everybody knows worrying about DWI is like totally last century. The cool new thing that everybody's saying is really bad but everyone's doing anyway is "driving distracted." I even produced a PSA awhile back:


Fortunately (I think) for us, anti-distracted driving mania continues to grow. In fact, a whole "Distracted Driving Summit" is currently taking place in Washington, DC, and the New York Times recently ran an article about the phenomenon:

(Distracted?)

As a cyclist who's been molested by distracted drivers even more than the public has been molested by bad Michael Jackson jokes, I read this article with interest--well, I skimmed it with interest, but to be fair I was distracted by young beaver (which is totally safe for work). I was especially horrified by the accompanying video, in which a California man's car is as full of electronics as a Californian is full of "epic" burrito stories:


In fact, the car itself is practically a burrito of electronics. He's even got a computer in there:


Clearly, this man (whose name is David Vered) is exceedingly busy--so much so that he cannot even stop driving to check his emails:


This may seem excessive, but keep in mind David Vered is an extremely important person whose life requires a high degree of connectivity. Granted, maintaining this state of constant communication is dangerous to himself and to others, but the fact is that people literally live and die by his word. Sure, it's stressful, but such is the life of the yogurt salesman:


Indeed, every day David Vered grapples with the sorts of moral quandaries the rest of us pray we will never have to face. For example, he has to tell people what to do when the yogurt machine breaks:

If you think talking a teenage employee through a yogurt machine fix isn't worth risking the lives of other road users instead of simply pulling over, then you clearly fail to appreciate the severity of the problem. First of all, one should never underestimate a yogurt-deprived Californian's capacity for violence. Each second that machine is not dispensing sweet, delicious, low-calorie yogurt to customers brings the world a second closer to an Orange County Register headline reading "Dozens Killed in Fro-Yo Massacre." Second of all, you've probably heard of the "butterfly effect." Well, there's also the "waffle cone effect." Let's say a Golden Spoon yogurt franchise runs out of waffle cones and a Californian actually settles for a regular cone instead of killing the employee and everyone else in the store. Unfortunately, it doesn't end there, because the customer will probably then go home and mistreat his or her child out of frustration, and that child will in turn probably go to school the next morning with an automatic weapon. In fact, it's precisely because of brave people like David Vered that there aren't more school shootings. So instead of dismissing him as a micromanaging multitasker who should probably consider flying instead of driving up and down the coast (or who should just get one of his yogurt-pullers to drive him around), you should celebrate him as a hero.

Of course, when the moment finally does come that Vered kills somebody with his car because he was too busy berating a 16-year old for giving somebody the wrong topping, he could very well end up in prison where he will experience a very different kind of yogurt.

However, it's not just drivers who are distracted. Cyclists too often have difficulty resisting the allure of the cellphone. Take this scene I encountered yesterday:

I apologize for the especially poor quality of the photograph, but please keep in mind I was riding at the time, which means I too am guilty of riding while distracted. (In fact, I'm actually cycling as I type this, thanks to my CETMA front-mounted computer stand.) In any case, the rider on the chrome Pista with the Tom Boonenesque faux-hawk is riding one-handed while operating his iPhone with the other. Meanwhile, the driver ahead is hurriedly backing up (note the reverse lights) to pounce upon a parking spot that's two cars back. Add to this a chicken-suited blogger fumbling with a camera and admonishing a helper monkey who's frying plantains in my rear-mounted wok (it acts as ballast for the CETMA) and you've got a recipe for some really bad yogurt.

Amazingly, despite this, the cacophony managed to resolve itself into something resembling harmony, and all parties made it through unscathed. Such is often--though not always--the case in a big city like New York. Still, this does not mean we should allow ourselves to be distracted--even when we see someone actually riding one of those Moof bikes, as I did recently:

Really, the best way to keep people from driving, or cycling, or even walking distracted (cellphones and stepping out into traffic go together like waffle cones and fro-yo) is probably to embarrass them somehow, since nothing works like a good shaming. Big companies know this, which is why Audi is now trying to embarrass cyclists in order to sell its A3 diesel:



I happened to see this commercial on television recently, and Portlanders are already indignant--though as far as I know they have not yet organized some sort of indignant theme ride around it. While the commercial pokes more fun at environmentalism than it does at cycling, it does depict people who ride bikes as hapless doofi:

I'm not exactly sure why Audi thinks they can sell a $30,000 car by saying it's better than a city bus, a cheap mountain bike, a Segway, and a vegetable oil-burning Volvo. I suppose someone might decide to spend a few hundred dollars on a bike instead of taking public transit, but I doubt many people are deliberating between an unlimited MetroCard and a new car. Why don't they say it's better than something that's actually comparable, like a Prius? This commercial is like trying to sell someone frozen yogurt by saying it's better than orange juice.

Speaking of embarrassment, few people seem more embarrassed these days than Antonio Colombo of Cinelli, who appears downright humiliated that Cinelli bicycles are now essentially the rolling equivalent of M&Ms:

This photo was brought to my attention both by acerbic commenter CommieCanuk and Lucho Metales of Metal Inquisition as well as the nascent Cycling Inquisition, where, among other things, you can gaze at cycling vestments in the denim colorway. Colombo's plaintive hand gesture and dour expression together cry, "It's come to this? Look away and leave me in my shame!" Regarding him, one feels like Andrew McCarthy in "Less Than Zero" when he found Robert Downey, Jr. whoring himself in that hotel room. His face is as nonplussed as if I myself had taken the photo:


Trust me, I know nonplussed when I see it:


One day, I hope to open some sort of establishment in which I can display all the nonplussed faces I've encountered over the years. Perhaps if Danny Aiello had had such a display in "Do The Right Thing" then Buggin' Out would have calmed down and tragedy might have been averted:


At the very least, it might have distracted him.

152 comments:

Anonymous said...

yeahh

dreaming over the ocean said...

podium!

Anonymous said...

Woot! Woot!

Anonymous said...

yeahh!

Anonymous said...

WOOO

Anonymous said...

mr. snob-
1st?

Anonymous said...

1-wheel length! ...yeahh

Pontius Pilate said...

HAIL CZSR

-P.P.

landis in 06 said...

pot hole

Paul Bowen said...

Top ten!

landis in 06 said...

Where's ant1st?

mikeweb said...

non-plussed out the wazoo

mikeweb said...

ant1 must've had a visit from WADA yesterday evening.

rezado said...

Sausage

carlos said...

ha

carlos said...

I don't have to read this to comment!

Anonymous said...

scrodium!

kale said...

No Comment

The Parkinsons said...

Gas goes down for a couple of months and the bike backlash begins. I accept this from the auto industry but when "liberal" Hollywood gets involved, I'm pissed.

The Californication episode smarts the most because I actually liked the program. Damn....

db said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
db said...

The Audi commercial: apparently smug and stupid sell. It works in politics...

Anonymous said...

maaaaaaaan, fuck gentrification

Anonymous said...

BABY BVRS

Anonymous said...

"Portanders"? Is that like "Neworkers"?

I'm sure the residents of the Rose City will now be doubly put out.

Comment deflated said...

This post has been removed by the nonplussed.

kale said...

Who wants to ride on the bus with all those minorities in your personal space, right Audi?

Wait a minute, where's Audi from again?

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 2:26pm,

Sorry, I thought "portanders" was a real word, as in "portanders to the throne."

--RTMS

bikesgonewild said...

...that soft furry little beaver certainly was responsive to gentle fondling...

...bikesgonewildlife...

Wrench Monkey said...

I don't know about the bikes, but Colombo Yogurt isn't bad.

grog said...

Nonplussed and agog are not the same thing!

Brian said...

That Audi is no Smart car. But it makes up for it by having a good sense of humor.

YGRT JCKY

leroy said...

Two nights ago, a fancy Mercedes pulls alongside me and starts drifting into the bike lane squeezing me closer and closer into the parked cars.

At first, I thought it was generic germanic ethnic cleansing, but then I saw that the driver was just reading her email.

Thanks to the nifty back lit screen, I could read the email too.

That made me feel a whole lot better, knowing that it was nothing personal.

And of course, the driver probably had good insurance.

Bad Lawyer said...

As Fausto Coppi said, "Steel's real, f##k those plastic bikes, ciao, Baby"

CommieCanuck said...

"...Vered mounted the curb, killing three pedestrians, one chihuahua, two cyclists and a homeless person. In his defense, Vered was dealing with a yogurt catastrophe at the time, in which a large batch was in danger of over-incubating from pre-biotic to pro-biotic. The judge, appalled by this excuse, threw down a harsh fine of $178, and two points. He stated this should never happen again, unless it affects the fruit-bottom flavors or frozen yogurt."

BADY OGRT

hillbilly said...

I Can't Believe I'm Not Watching The Road(way)

Bad Lawyer said...

Butt Yogurt! I thought this was Bike Snob's blog, not Dan Savage's blog.

CommieCanuck said...

Diesel is no longer a dirty word? How is one supposed to have phone sex using terms like, "unleaded"?

frilly said...

Wait a minute, Snob. Just suppose that it was the fat-free white chocolate macadamia machine that went down, I for one would be happy that David Vered is taking that call.

um said...

"Shin-pei Tsay, the deputy director of Transportation Alternatives and a Bike Slam organizer, praised the ideas generated by the participants. She was struck by a Dutch idea for bicycle ferries, which could help inspire new cyclists by overcoming the daunting length and hills of the city's bridges."

-New York Times City Room, 9/22

Paul Bowen said...

Each second that machine is not dispensing sweet, delicious, low-calorie yogurt to customers brings the world a second closer to an Orange County Register headline reading "Dozens Killed in Fro-Yo Massacre."

Glorious stuff Snobbers, really. Classic post.

BUTT YGRT

ant1 said...

ant1st!

Anonymous said...

Not to be hypercritical, but *hypo*critical isn't the problem here.

Anonymous said...

um-

I overheard a rumor that those new condos on Kent (and metro-ish) are going to have their own private ferry as well as water taxi service to LES.

The bridges will be for the serfs.

Rantwick said...

I'll never eat any type of yogurt again. #1) I'll have flashbacks to this post's alternative definition #2) I may contribute to someone's death at the hands of a distracted yogurt support guy.

Seanywonton said...

Snobby, it clearly says that if he does not answer the broken frozen yogurt email, his workers will be paralyzed. What does it take to justify an email when driving? Certain death or dismemberment?

Rantwick said...

Isn't one of those new yogurt cultures called BL Regularis?

mikeweb said...

God Bless you David Vered!!

um said...

hmm, not sure how I feel about that. But I do know that any sentence describing the city's bridges as "daunting, lengthy, and hilly" is rifuckindiculous

yogisurf said...

Great bit on distracted drivers. When this a##h*** kills a cyclist this video will part of the evidence.

LowBalls said...

MMMM YRGT

MLTI TSKR

chiggins said...

The Audi commercial: apparently smug and stupid sell.

Seems pitch perfect for the target audience if they're anything like the assholes driving german cars in DC.

Anonymous said...

Driven to Distraction, a book about ADHD by two psychiatrists with ADHD, transmogrified into driving distracted. You're good, no really you are.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdOEfvjLAlE

JTK said...

the wok slinging helper monkey got me... thanks for the laugh.

today's post reminds me of a car and driver article I read: http://www.caranddriver.com/features/09q2/texting_while_driving_how_dangerous_is_it_-feature

One could be lead to believe that drivers are better off hittin the sauce:

"Also, don’t take the intoxicated results to be acceptable just because they’re an improvement over the texting numbers. They only look better because the texting results are so horrendously bad."

thanks again for your great blog.

Anonymous said...

Snobby,

PLEASE stop HARSHING on your RSS feed readers.

Having to leave the warm confines of my RSS reader to scurry over to a new browser window to read the latest snob-dropping makes me feel like a vulnerable hermit crab leaving its shell, having to scrabble across a harsh, sun-baked beach looking for the next crevice of cool respite, my pink tender bits waving invitingly to any passing crow.

I mean, in my RSS reader, the world is at my fingertips. You, however, seem intent on pulling everything just out of grasp.

Why? Does the hit counter on your blog site directly power a prostate-stimulating implant?

I mean really, what's the point? I don't think you have ads (or at least I can't see them, anyway).

mikeweb said...

AYRSSRSMB

bk jimmy said...

Also in the VeloNews Interbike coverage:

The majority of Cinelli bikes sold in the USA have one speed and no freewheel.

Can someone explain this technical jargon to me? I don't understand.

Anonymous said...

SANT ORUM

Critical Hippo said...

Snob, please don't fix your RSS situation. Those weenies are funny!

kale said...

bk jimmy-

It means you get a "zen-like" ride.

mikeweb said...

That Audi commercial has the same theme as the VW 'clean' diesel commercial with the old VW beetle with the voice of the goldfish from 'American Dad'. Makes sense since it's the same company.

So 'Diesel' is no longer a dirty word? I thought he was still making shitty movies...

20 D Energizers. said...

Vorsprung durch Technik.

ant1 said...

jimmy - when displayed in stores, the bikes are all stationary and don't come with a complimentary spare wheel.

Asterisk said...

Just got the new issue of Bicycling. You notice how Snob and McEnroe are both in black and have the same pose? Hmmm...

*

Suzee said...

Let's face it, the real blame here lies squarely on the shoulders of the advertising moguls. Cause and effect, butterfly or chaos, all theories lead directly to bank accounts and all minions merely grease those leads to a greater or lesser degree.
Whilst, as a lifelong cyclist, I could, and probably would hate upon Vered and his ilk - without remorse - I try not to loose sight of the economic system that perpetuates such foolishness. Until our culture confers real value upon our real values our lives will continue to be the mere distractions of consumerism.

SHIT APNS

twodeadpoets said...

Save the planet, stop eating yogurt!

CommieCanuck said...

Seems pitch perfect for the target audience if they're anything like the assholes driving german cars in DC.

I believe RTMS once referred to German cars as, "floats on the douche parade of life".

Anonymous said...

did anyone else notice that there is a kludgie afoot on Liev's aero-barred, 25mm-tire-clad Naomi Watts pick-up machine from yesterday's post? Just thought it was interesting.

jflo said...

Umm, the only person I know w/ a diesel audi rides his bike to work every day.

Anonymous said...

When the yoghurt machine breaks, ALL YOU HATERS DRINK MY MILK.

Anonymous said...

Audi probably had that ad made with the content it has, as it knows how many enviro bloggers are out there. It's the hottest thing since blair witch. They all need content for their blogs, and this is one way of gauranteeing a slot.

It's just advertising. Getting people to see it.

AUDI
AUDI

Anonymous said...

No one really gives a flying fuck about the message, theyre to busy handling yoghurt machine faults.

Anonymous said...

Like a teenager getting paid 7 bucks an hour could really give a crap if the yogurt machine breaks. I'm glad he's endangering everyone's life for this.

Anonymous said...

the trick is is to be in a heavier older car than his, that is certain to destroy it in the event of a collision.

Anonymous said...

you just gotta hope you dont get electrcuted when climbing out of the wreckage.

CommieCanuck said...

It's just advertising. Getting people to see it.

AUDI
AUDI


AUDI doesn't like to talk about its past. It used to be called Auto Union and race cars in the 30s with the Nazi flag painted on the side. Nazi used to be the dirty word before diesel.

Audi, now 100% nazi-free.

Isolation Helmet said...

That picture of Antonio Colombo just makes me chuckle. Now someone needs to buy that bike and wrap it in some of that tape to improve upon the colorway. The wheels are so busy but the frame is just meh.

zwigli said...

Something original...
http://s95149927.onlinehome.us/Marc/2009.1.html

:)

bikesgonewild said...

...the audi copy doesn't overly commit in that a voice simply intones “Many people are trying to do their part...Some just have more fun doing it.”...

...that could be turned around to work against audi...shot of the new audi a3 diesel stuck in a massive traffic jam as a group of happy smiling cyclists rides by chatting about how great they feel being out & about & not sitting in an albeit fancy but nonetheless metal & plastic box out on the clogged road...

...madison avenue is a two way street...& it can get clogged too...

...just sayin'...

mikeweb said...

bgw, Madison ave. runs one-way in an uptown direction, metaphorically enough...

VaticDart said...

Riding a simulated race is dangerous without a helmet. What if he falls backwards off his bike during his victory finger-bang?

Audi's ad for the A3 works for the population at large because people want to feel like they're making a difference and contributing to the "green revolution" without actually sacrificing anything or inconveniencing themselves. So they create an association between what is commonly seen as a real green contribution - giving up your car, or at least not driving it - and something as ineffective as choosing their x mpg car over the other guy's y mpg car. It's the same association that cola companies make between their product (abstract cause and effect) and something concrete and desirable (happiness, youth and attractiveness).

Astroluc said...

way late to the game... I got a flat... my support car got a flat! SOMEONE GAVE ME AN 11spd WHEEL!!!

but seriously;

the vehicle reversing into that space, Snobbie, had a bike rack riddled with bikes... so they should have known the perils facing other cyclists and been hyper-aware of iPhone toting jackass on a bike.

a quick aside: I suspect that, though I could be wrong, that the bike rack on the back of that (Pilot??) probably cost more than the sum total of the price of the bikes it is carrying. I cannot tell you how many times I have seen $3-400+ Thule, Yakima, etc. racks on these fancy foreign yuppie wagons only to be transporting a slew of Huffy's, Roadmasters, and other assorted Walmart shite.

Is there a name for that phenomenon?

DYST RCTD

100% hitler (and Obama) free said...

AUDI OOOO

Test Tickle said...

"One of the best posts of '09!
- Double D

"Bravo Bike Snob, a real hoot!"
- Twist of Cain

"A ride that won't be forgotten anytime soon!"
- All-Time

"Sheer genius in its eloquence and tenacity!"
- Test Tickle

balls.

Anonymous said...

Is the yogurt culture still open? Or has it closed now like the fixed gear culture?

I'm looking for a new trend so I can jump on the bandwagon and express my individuality.

Anonymous said...

I hear Kombucha culture is still accepting applicants, but Kimchee is only taking AZNs.

Seanywonton said...

It's a funny coincidence that you had beavers here today. I was riding on the bike path yesterday and I saw what I thought was a family of beavers down by the creek. Turned out they were muskrats. They were pretty cute though, much more like beavers that rats, but with a long tail, not a flat one. The little ones came up to my bike cautiously to check me out. I didn't pet them though. I only pet beavers.

bikesgonewild said...

...to a salmon, mad ave is a two way stre''...fuck...that won't work...

...hmm, sometimes mad ave goes both ways...shit...that don't cut it...

...ahhh...by all 'accounts' mad ave is...%&#@*&!%$!...

...fa'ged'aboud'it, mikeweb...ga' head, take me literally...but i'll get it right next time...

Your Fixed Gear Mother said...

Keep a little fixed gear mother culture in a jar in the refrigerator, and add some to some warm milk when you need to generate a larger amount of fixed gear culture.

Anon. 3:17, Thank you.

Jamie said...

Does someone have a strategy for reading comments on this blog that aren't completely stupid? How would I filter comments such as my own?

Anonymous said...

BGW.

You can't beat overtaking a Volvo running on chicken fat through a blind corner behind the wheel of an AUDI diesel for an adrenalin kick?

Anonymous said...

You need an R8!

Anonymous said...

http://twitpic.com/h2jir

mike poole said...

i want to know more about your helper-monkey's plantain frying. Does he/she use the one-smack or the two-smack technique?

Anonymous said...

solo victory

Churchill said...

Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.

Anonymous said...

so,... no has mentioned that the car backing up had a bike on it's rack

Test Tickle said...

anon 6:03. you're late. the topic has been covered.

balls.

Anonymous said...

Nah, no one mentioned that. I've been scrolling up and down for ages and I can't spot it anywhere.

There's gotta be something wrong with that.

Anonymous said...

BGW.

You're allowed to reverse into a parking spot on Madison Ave, if I'm not mistaken. That makes it two way.

Test Tickle said...

astroluc @ 4:53

balls.

Anonymous said...

Throw me a frickin bone'

SteveL said...

When I lived in OR in 2000-2004, I drove a VW Passat wagon with a manual 1.8T petrol engine that did 36+ MPG long-haul. I dont think 42 MPG from a car with less luggage space cuts it. Now I'm back in the UK my VW touran 1.9TDi does about 48 MPG long haul on UK roads, thats 80 MPH, not US or geermany speeds. VW Golf TDi does about about 60 mpg. So why does that A3 have such a fucking awful fuel budget from engines by the same company? Must be all the power drain from the laptop, cellphone charger, DVD player.

The fact that Audi are doing such shit adverts is a measure of success -it means people are going for greener forms of transport and Audi are trying to present a fairly fuel-inefficient hatchback as a greener option.

Scott said...

More dutch bike stuff, please

Bristol Traffic said...

We in the Bristol Traffic Project have some coverage of Audi cars in Bristol, England.

They appear to be a popular vehicle to park in the "school keep clear" zone outside our schools where only important people are allowed to park.

They rapidly get stuck in the one snow we get every two years.

Interestingly, they have come to our attention Less often than BMW cars.

Anonymous said...

steve. that a3 tdi is a "sports" car. golf tdi does 34 to the gallon.

anyways. this ad is for people who dont really care about the environ, but have a need to fit in.

people look down their noses at gas guzzlers these days, and the figures from the motor are just good enough to rationalize in most peoples minds when they see it parked on the jonses driveway.

Obama sucks said...

This is a stupid post.

Obama is my savior said...

This is a smart post.

Glad I could help you, you self-righteous liberal piece of shit.

Anonymous said...

Isn't parking illegal? roads aren't there for storage of motor vehicles.

Johnny Sprocket said...

I can only hope that David Vered gets all the butt yoghurt he can eat, the retarded schmuck.

And doesn't he know... yoghurt ain't yoghurt unless it's soy!

Johnny Sprocket said...

Fixed Gear Mother of 5.35pm.... the problem is the culture gets watered down each time you use it, until you end up with a bland, tasteless version of what you started with.

Which is what yoghurt tastes like when the teenager pisses in the machine when it's broken down!

Anonymous said...

F the Orange Curtain.

ima whiner said...

i'm getting a new helper monkey.

Reed Enwright said...

LINK BRKN

Krys Hines said...

Ironically, I've often enjoyed this blog while driving...Seriously...Stay the fuck out of the way...

Anonymous said...

I could be wrong but I don't believe that Volvo has EVER sold a diesel powered station wagon in the US. Mercedes has, but an early 80's M-B wagon doesn't scream "left wing treehugger" like a Volvo does. Stupid ad agency.

wishiwasmerckx said...

That Cinelli guy sure can rock the "Sportscoat over a T-shirt" look, n'est ce pas? He wore it all three days of the Interbike show.

Note, please, the Cinelli display booth behind him. (They wheeled the bike into the aisle for the photo.) The carpet was white, and nobody wanted to walk on it for fear of leaving dirty shoeprints. Note to self - avoid off-putting displays in order to maximize trade-show sales.

One final point - you may not be able to tell from the photo, but that bike has Cinelli's second-generation plastic saddle on it. The first-gens were re-engineered because they broke like Hincapie was riding them on his way to Roubais.They come in several colorways, all without even a soupcon of padding. I never thought to ask if they come with a complimentary tube of DZ Nuts Chamois Cream.

Anonymous said...

Anon 11:16 - pretty sure you're wrong; Volvo sold diesels in the 80's.

GrundleRumble said...

Vered must really be pressed, as it seems as if he can't even find the time to put on pants.

belmont sledgehammer said...

That Tacx virtual reality trainer (first hyperlink) looks fun as hell. Though it's probably worth mentioning the dude was sitting in front of a large window doing a simulated ride on what appeared to be a beautiful day. Reminds me of those butt-nuggets that opt to walk on an indoor treadmill rather than simply taking a freaking walk.

And on an unrelated note, does anyone else have the freaking comment thread profile posting thingy never save their profile and accompanying picture? And it doesn't ever like any of the 7 zillion different passwords I try to retrieve the thing either. I always click the "keep me signed in" option, but the darn thing don't never do it.

Anonymous said...

Remove all safety features from cars! At least there would be inventive not to crash instead of incentive not to care.

Bristol Traffic said...

I train indoors to TdF stage videos from the TV, 45 minutes of work with sprints and stages

I think there is an opportunity for someone to get into the business of porn videos for bike trainers -every time they go for a sprint finish, you get out the saddle and work. Would make training more interesting

Anonymous said...

"Remove all safety features from cars! At least there would be inventive not to crash instead of incentive not to care."

I think we are talking fixed gear cars here. No clutch, no brakes.

"I train indoors to TdF stage videos from the TV, 45 minutes of work with sprints and stages"

Same here, then I drive to work in my WOWDI like a cock on heat.

Anonymous said...

"I think there is an opportunity for someone to get into the business of porn videos for bike trainers -every time they go for a sprint finish, you get out the saddle and work. Would make training more interesting"

Before you know it we'll all be riding Biopace again.

Anonymous said...

Opinionated Cyclist is scary. very scary.

UWS Freelancer said...

I'd like to place an order for delivery. I'd like two servings of those fried plantains and a whole chicken and an order of monkey meat.

Thanks

Admin said...

I don't think Audi were aiming at the market of those they depicted (cyclist, segway-ist, bus-ist). Rather they are suggesting that you can "do your bit" and drive a car, rather than one or the other.

I love riding my bike, but it's got nothing to do with "climate change".

Klaus Mohn said...

In the Netherlands, with over 80% of cars running on gasoline, diesel is far from being the most popular engineway. That's why the most popular rim message on Dutch city bikes is "all you truckers suck my tailpipe".

Reed Enwright said...

I love riding my bike, but it's got nothing to do with "climate change".

CAR= CAGE

Anonymous said...

AUDI keeps it's integrity.

Anonymous said...

Your site gets gayer every post. Fuck men with spandex on bikes. How many more packages can you fit into 1 blog. How about some hot women. You will never ever ever see a picture of a hot woman on bike snobs site. I bet women are dirty beast to the bike snob. Do you like young clipped men???

Reed Enwright said...

LATE TROL

CommieCanuck said...

Your site gets gayer every post.

I believe the correct phrase is "more gayer".

Fuck men with spandex on bikes. .

Oh, that's not gay at all.

Fritz said...

whoa this post bought out the nutters didn't it?

Nutters with time on their hands...uh oh

Admin said...

This is the first time I've commented and I'm starting to feel like a nutter with time on my hands.

Worst of all, I'd never even noticed the increasing gayness in the posts.

Cliff Huxtable said...

Zip Zop Zoobity Bob!

mikeweb said...

the more gayer-ishness of the posts is all relative.

A quarterback "throwing a dart into the tight end instead of the wide receiver", doesn't sound gay at all. Though they all wear pretty tight pants too...

Taocat said...

I have to agree with Belmont Sledgehammer that the TACX trainer would be fun - in the winter when it's too damn cold to ride outside. But I caught too that the guy was riding in front of a big window on a gorgeous day.

What I'm surprised that no one else commented on in that video is that 3:09 in, when he's doing a "climb" there is a gigantic hairy schlong painted on the road. WTF?? Did the TACX ad people not screen their footage???

g-roc said...

No handlebar? You know what this means; at some point, the fixies will become hipster unicycles. Just like regular unicycles except with hipster cysts, more colorways and a more exclusive price point.

g-roc said...

Never mind. I'm on the wrong friggin' day.

Anonymous said...

I think the Cinelli guy was frowning like the crying Indian on the side of the freeway because hes seen that pic of that asshole that chopped those Cinelli carbon bar/stem combo to be consistent with his fixie and all his douche buddies that ride the same, wear the same,put postcards in the same wheels.

Anonymous said...

You think THAT'S fashionable? Check THIS out:
http://www.republicbike.com/default.asp

DoNotReact said...

http://www.donotreact.com/

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gearsurfer said...

The Audi commercial really kinda got me pissed off, to be honest. I used to work in the car industry and left because I .... OK, let's not go there. But the commercial inspired me to an idea: http://alternativetransportationstrikesback.blogspot.com/

And anybody who thinks he knows someone who could help to support this please pass it on. Thanks!

pat said...

the bringing sexy back tatoo , if seeing the left hand only would be a major turn off to non red heads.

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