Wednesday, February 25, 2009

A World Gone Nuts: Missing Junk and Missing Pants

As you have probably read by now, professional cyclist, crotch cream magnate, and occasional Twitterer Dave Zabriskie returned home from the Tour of California only to find that his house had been burglarized:



I'm sure I'm not alone in feeling outraged over this crime. This is nothing like the Astana bike heist in Sacramento--we all knew that The Great Trek Bicycle Making Company would quickly replace those bikes. Even Lance Armstrong's custom one-of-a-kind time trial bike was eminently replaceable, since Trek clearly have the capability to crank out new Armstrong customs at a moment's notice. If Armstrong Tweets about eating a burrito, they send him a burrito-themed bike; if he decides to sit in on the local group ride for a few miles, they send him a local group ride-themed bike; if he takes a ride with Robin Williams, they send him a Robin Williams-themed bike with a disconcertingly lifelike body hair paintjob and a forearm applause meter SRM readout.

No, the Zabriskie heist is something else entirely. They broke into his home, and they took a lot of stuff, including many personal items. I mean, look at this list:

Items stolen include the following:
Black 2008 Subaru Outback, Utah plate A189NC

Black 2006 Toyota Scion, Utah plate 094VWM

Giro D Italia Race Medal (approx. 6" circumference)

Olympic Seiko watch
Beijing Olympic ring (silver) with initials "DZ" engraved ($4,000)
Olympic Time Trial Bike, plus 12 other bikes (combined value of $100,000)
Cervélo (black/red) bike frame - team issued ($5000)
Tag Heuer watch ($6,000)

Bose Speaker/Receiver System ($15,000)

Sony 52" flat screen TV ($4,000)

Two Mac Books and one Mac desktop, plus hard drive ($8,000)

A pair of Space legs, a recovery compression system for legs ($5,000)
7 Marvel sideshow statues ($11,000)

I'm glad to see that Zabriskie is a part of "wristwatch culture." I'm also glad that during these difficult economic times, Zabriskie had his money in secure investments like Marvel Sideshow statues. I only hope they were insured. Obviously, if you have any leads, or if someone tries to sell you comic book-themed collectibles and a Giro race medal, you should contact the authorities immediately. And if you're still not upset about this theft, maybe this image will hit home:


Obviously Zabriskie's "junk" is still comfortable thanks to his eponymous crotch cream, but he's been robbed of pretty much everything else--including his pants. I hereby call upon the domestic peloton to come to Zabriskie's aid. Yes, I'm looking squarely at you, Michael Ball. After all, you're the King of Pants, and if you had any human decency at all you'd donate a new wardrobe. Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if Ball is a chief suspect in the investigation. We know that Rock Racing is in dire financial straits and is now shopping at Bikesdirect. Thirteen bikes would probably be enough to keep the team rolling for another year, and you can probably expect to see either a Subaru Outback or a Scion with anarchy signs painted all over it following Rock Racing at their next stage race. Either that, or Ball will seize upon the opporuntity to do more viral marketing, this time releasing a video depicting a fixter strike force carrying a bunch of stuff out of Zabriskie's house.

I was actually so disturbed that I decided to launch my own investigation. Naturally, I started by checking Craigslist, since most of the stuff on there is being fenced anyway. I chose the New York City Craigslist--even though it's pretty far from Utah, I figured stolen stuff eventually winds up here anyway, and at least it would be close enough for me to try to retrieve it. Almost immediately, I found something suspicious in the "Missed Connections":



Red hed black dog hot girl red car pink bike - 36 (Babylon, NY)
Reply to: [deleted]

Date: 2009-02-19, 7:34PM EST

I saw you leave the pink bike and take what looked to be a velveteen pig to a park with your red hair with blonde streaks. You are as hot as the pig is cute. I saw you yell "You ran a red light asshole" and figured you must be a strong and independent woman! You had me at "asshole!' Nice legs! They look just a bit buffer than your arms! Quite a package for a smart girl.


Yes, you read that right: it says "velveteen pig." If my comic book knowledge is correct, the "Velveteen Pig" is a Marvel superhero, and I'm pretty sure that a Velveteen Pig Sideshow statue was one of the items taken from Zabriskie's home. So be on the lookout for a woman with red hair, blonde streaks, and nice legs riding a pink bike.

Figuring I was on to something, I continued to browse the "Missed Connections," and soon found this:



Don't buy that freeze-dried coffee - m4w - 23 (Grand Street Key Food)
Reply to: [delete]
Date: 2009-02-18, 8:39PM EST


You were about to make the mistake of buying freeze-dried coffee at the Key Food when I rescued you by suggesting that you go to Gimme! instead.


We seemed to have a little moment. Got the vibe that maybe you have a boyfriend. But maybe not.


Anyway, when by the time I got outside, you were gone. I tried to find you, but my raviolis got caught in my bike spokes and spilled all over so I had to discontinue my search.


I'd love to get a drink. We do live in the same neighborhood, after all. I hope your spaghetti was good.



Well, I'm not sure this one's going to help break the Zabriskie case, but I do think this serves as an effective warning as to the dangers of riding while carrying ravioli.

Speaking of warnings, yesterday I mentioned the "underground/mainstream inversion," which can only be a bad sign. Well, I recently received the latest catalog from the Secret Website, and discovered something even more horrifying. Yes, it's the dreaded "Microshift/Ultegra Price Inversion":


Sure, the Secret Website may have upgraded its shifters, but for them to be more expensive than Ultegra shifters can only be a sign of the Fixed-Gear Apocalypse. Skeptics will point out that it's only the triple Ultegra shifters that are cheaper, and that the double shifters are still way more expensive, but I'm not sure it matters since I think you can use the triple shifters just fine with a double crank.

And that's not all. Things are even scarier over at the Secret Website's sister company. Not too long ago I revealed that Performance is actually the middleman in a sordid Australian-US pornography-smuggling ring. Well, it gets worse. A reader tells me that they're now brazenly selling sex toys too:

For shame, Performance! This sort of thing is best left to the Kinky Llama. The only innocent explanation I can possibly come up with for this is that some factory in Taiwan makes these and they randomly brand some as chain cleaners and some as plastic phalluses. Plus, nobody would ever buy something like this to clean their chain--everybody knows chain cleaners don't work. They just spread the filth around. (Kind of like what Performance is doing.) The only way this thing works is if you put "clean your chain" in quotes. And when used in conjunction with the XTR hub (which you may recall is "designed to cradle the balls"), well, let's just say it can really cut into your riding time.

Then again, I could have this all wrong. Maybe Performance is trying to atone for the Knog debacle and this is actually an updated version of a Victorian anti-masturbation device. I've also found another wholesome use for it. Instead of censoring photos in the traditional way (the original unsafe for work version is here):



All you need to do is use the Spin Doctor Clean Machine "Chain Cleaner":


(image by bkjimmy)

I still don't know why (from left to right) Lamar from "Revenge of the Nerds," Joaquim Phoenix, Sarah Vowell, Thurston Moore, David Allen Grier, and Anthony Bourdain felt the need to take a naked bike ride together, but at least now their respective "junk" is covered. Bourdain better be careful, though--I think I see some ravioli in his spokes.

I hope they all used plenty of DZ-Nuts.

115 comments:

streepo said...

First!!!

Philly Phoodie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Suck 'em!

Anonymous said...

The cheese is fast today!

Anonymous said...

where the hell is the Peloton???

Anonymous said...

Letme Vipodium already!

Anonymous said...

Laggards. I'm already enjoying a wine spritzer.

Anonymous said...

Woot! Woot!

Dano said...

Really, I'm 5th.
cuz 2nd got discarded...

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the great post Snob!

Paypal on the way!

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

So getting killed here...

:-(

Surly Bastard said...

Damn podium whores! Who do you have to sleep with around here to get in the top ten?

Anonymous said...

"Got the vibe that maybe you have a boyfriend."

Yeah, that was probably the vibe she was giving. Either that or the "get away from me you freak, I just want to buy some g-ddamn folgers" vibe. Easy to mix those up.

Anonymous said...

We're right here

Strayhorn said...

Alloy levers? I thought that serial upgraders only went for crabon.

Speaking of which, this RDU Craigslist ad for a pair of Race X Lite wheels notes that the rear hub has a "slight comedic flaw," which should appeal to Henny Youngman, Eddie Murphey, and most of today's commenters.

hillbilly said...

the ol ravioli in the spokes excuse....i bet if she had a nickel for every time she heard that, well....

but back to yesterday, has there ever been anything uglier than those 'keep watch' leggings? i don't know fashion, but i do know 'seizure inducing'

Anonymous said...

BREA KING

Anonymous said...

I too have a slight comedic flaw

Anonymous said...

that's not thurston moore, it's danny noonan

Anonymous said...

How the hell did "Commentdele Ted" make the podium? That guy doesn't even train!

Anonymous said...

cant. stand. same jokes. over. and over. going to fatcyclist.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 12:59pm,

You will be missed. Please say hi to Fatty for me.

--BSNYC

Surly Bastard said...

Goddammit that was funny. Every goddamn word of it.

Shram said...

Funny, I thought it was a good one today.

getting your ravioli caught in your spokes must be a metaphor for something, but I don't want to know for what.

Anonymous said...

wouldn't the fixed gear apocalypse be unaffected by shifter price inversions?

smartypants said...

BSNYC/RTMS,

Speaking as someone who is a serious DZ fan, thanks for the post today.

Anonymous said...

metal --> medal

ant1 said...

Snobbie - "The just spread the filth around." tsk tsk

Anonymous said...

That topless chick has ergonomic micro-nubs too!

CommieCanuck said...

"You are as hot as the pig is cute."

uh..thanks?

As microshit levers get more expensive, Super Record is getting within my reach.

Daily rip into Lance Pharmstrong.

Jim said...

This post has not been removed by author.

Anonymous said...

back. from fatcyclist. bored. to death. by nerdy. jokes.

Anonymous said...

You CAN use a triple STI lever with a double crank, but it is a sad life, full of greasy fingers, dropped chains, and getting dusted on Harlem Hill by dudes in Merrill Lynch team kit.

Anonymous said...

BSNYC,

I genuinely hate this blog. A true bike snob doesn't even recognize scene track kids just in the same way we don't recognize Democrats. It's a shame.

-Anonymous

Anonymous said...

nice endorsement from a republican!

smartypants said...

@anon 1:50,

Feeling redundant?

-smartypants

Anonymous said...

Re: using a double crank and triple shifter

-adjust the derailleur limits normally
-tighten the cable with proper tension with shifter in gear 2
-adjust trim barrell adjuster
-shift normally while pedaling

If you accidentally click over to gear 1, your derailleur limits prevent you from dropping your chain.

Simple stuff, really

Anonymous said...

you had me at 'adjust'

CommieCanuck said...

"Burglarized" is not English, I have no idea who started using that term, but the word is 'burgled'.

Regardless, some Later-day Saints are rockin' some pimpin' bikes while passing the word of Jehova*.

*Free Marvel statue with every soul conversion.

Luck E. Seven said...

Great minds think alike CC!

Jeez, how could Utah's finest not know that this DZ burgle was a crime perpetrated by 18 yr old Mormon kids?

The bikes will resurface as the thieves cruise around town this summer in their typical evangelical fashion, donning the white shirt/black pants uniform of Mormon servitude. The worldly bling is gone, however, hocked to cover the cost of converting an east-side SLC living room into yet another temple.

Tough luck, DZ. Twitter me some nut cream, whydon'tcha?


A

Doug said...

The dude on the left needs to put his merkin back where it belongs.

Anonymous said...

LOL @ 718-591-9180

Anonymous said...

Y'know, snob, not so sure about using that Spin Doctor for anything other than its intended purpose, because, well, size does matter.

Hate to say it, but just sayin'.

MINGUStheMECHANIC said...

Anyone who has space legs and a scion deserves to get robbed.

CommieCanuck said...

Frills...there's always Barry the Beaver.

Proudly made in Canada at an ex-GM plant.

Anonymous said...

That chick with no tits and beer pouch belly reminds me of my ex-girlfriend, god she was gross.

But for 5'0" she was a quite the bud heavy drinkin', camel chain smokin' whore.

Right up red's alley, next to the circle-k where he practices his track stands.

RM

Anonymous said...

That chick with no tits and beer pouch belly reminds me of my ex-girlfriend, god she was gross.

But for 5'0" she was a quite the bud heavy drinkin', camel chain smokin' whore.

Right up red's alley, next to the circle-k where he practices his track stands.

RM

Anonymous said...

Merrill Lynch d/b/a Bank of Amerrillwide (credit: Dealbreaker.com) is no more. It is now Pacifico, compadres:

http://nyvelocity.com/content/teams/2009/team-crcapacifico-hincapie-sports

Anonymous said...

anyone steeling bikes is wrust than a horse thief

i say string em up

Daddo said...

am I in an extra good mood or is this one of the funniest?

the DZ photo is fuggin hilarious!

(fiftysecondium!)

Anonymous said...

these really are the same jokes.

but fatcyclist's cancer stories aren't very fun either

I need a new pastime

Anonymous said...

my sister lonnie had her a boy toy outn american fork who stold a e350 from some morman naybors then had the balls to tell them it wernt theres to begin with cus they done sposed to drive buggys hahaha but i aint seed no scion sept on reds dickhead when he done ferget to take his valtrex boy howdy

i tels him that waht he get for humpin judy fenson the skank at the millrace who gived hand jobs for some boones farm in high school

Schorsch said...

I don't use DZnuts.

I use Proofide.

Old Skool, bitches!

hillbilly said...

anon 247 - have you considered 19th century foodie hipster doofus?

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/25/dining/25brooklyn.html?8dpc

brighton velo said...

Glad you're on the case Bike Snoop NYC.

Anonymous said...

jolene yor steppin all over reds toes and its herting worst than his hairpiece

if they ever catch the bastard who stole them bikes i say lynch him

anybody gots any lynch?

Anonymous said...

Ayo Dave! Let me see dose house keys right quick.

Anonymous said...

Schorsch,

Hilarious!

Lot's of yucks today, post and comments.

CommieCanuck said...

oh god..I clicked on the unsafe for work version by mistake and saw some guy's shaved winkie.

It looked just like a penis, only much smaller.

kale said...

CC-

maybe it was just really big woman bits

nevermind...

CommieCanuck said...

..either way..I'm vomiting.

Anonymous said...

I think DZ may mean "diameter" instead of "circumference" with regards to his Giro d'Italia Honorable Mention Belt Buckle / Amulet. I could be mistaken since all I have in comparison is an Honorable Mention Yellow Ribbon sarcastically "won" in the 1972 Columbus, Ohio "Decorate Your Bike for the Fourth of July Contest" held on or around July 4, 1972 (yes mom, I still have it on my refrigerator)...she's so funny about these things...

Anonymous said...

Who shaves their actual "winkle"? Mine is naturally hair free - maybe hairy winkles are a Canadian adaptation to extreme cold weather...and hockey...

CommieCanuck said...

Chewbacca was Canadian.

Jim said...

>>>getting dusted on Harlem Hill by dudes in Merrill Lynch team kit.

Better get used to it. They'll have plenty of time to train.

Pacifico, eh? Didn't they buy out Canondale in order to compliment their Magna line of quality bicycle-like products?

Anonymous said...

Why does that hairless winkle remind me of Duffy?

Strayhorn said...

Jim said Pacifico, eh? Didn't they buy out Canondale in order to compliment their Magna line of quality bicycle-like products?

Well, Dorel Industries, which does produce a long line of (obSheldon Brown) Bike-Shaped Objects.

Anonymous said...

How could a burglarizer get away with stealing THAT much shit? You'd need multiple moving vans. Over 10 bikes? The entertainment center? Did no one on the block wonder why the Zabriskies hired a crew to move them out of the house while Dave was racing?

Really sucks for the guy. He could have used more inquisitive neighbors.

CommieCanuck said...

IT'S WINKIE, not WINKLE.

Get it right people.

Anonymous said...

And it's BURGLARIZED

T. McKay Battles said...

i googled a definition for "burgle." it said "to burglarize."

no joke.

Anonymous said...

there is always one woman for every five men when it comes to public nudity, or atleast that is my calculation having lived in the Bay Area for 15 years...
Also, Robin Williams... one time he passed by me and my girlfriend on a bicycle in the Presidio. MY girl yelled "Nanu Nanu" at him. He came to a stop like 25 yards away and waited for us to catch up to him. then he said nothing and continued riding. would have been funny if my girlfriend kicked his ass.

bikesgonewild said...

...re:- dave z...they got so much specific stuff that if they try to sell, pawn, give away, use anything or even show it to a "friend", they stand the chance of leaving an awfully big trail & hopefully that will happen...

...& "friends" of people who pull shit like that are undoubtedly untrustworthy themselves...let's just hope for dz's sake that somebody sez the wrong (right) thing to the wrong (right) person & it all comes back around...

...speaking of which...that hadda be the quietest 2nd place in an 'atoc' ever...literally hardly (wonderfully awkward english, that) heard dz's name all week...the kid's great but not much animation outa the boy...

...quirky guy, generally good for an interesting sound bite but way, way low key...little too much to ever be a fave rave of too many but hey...at least he didn't crash...whoa !!!...did i say that ???...

Anonymous said...

Hey Anonymous...

Just a suggestion, instead of feeding off of Bike Snob, Fat Cyclist, etc, and since you seem rather opinionated yourself, why not start your own bloggy-blog-blog?

BLOG WARS!
Duh - duh - duuuuuuuuh!

Call it CyclAnon or something?

All the haters who suck balls and whatnot can worship your thoughts and opines on changing gears, secrets to tuning integrated shifters, and your thoughts on fixed geared cycling vs. single speedsters.

Who knows, you may even get your very own comment leech?

Tender.

I'll even give you some link love at TSURURADIO.com, right under Snobby. So you can snuggle up in each other's pits.

Double Tender.

I say go for it CyclAnon! Ride on, mother fucker, ride on!

OR..........

Keep being the creepy douchy "cyclist" (I assume) over here. Really creepy and really douchy... Like I-Own-A-Van Creepy and I-Have-A-Ponytail douchy.


You know?
Just saying.
How about it?

Anonymous said...

Tsuru,

if you're ttalking about someone (look i stuttered) in particular, you need to say Anon_:__, with the time in there. Or are you talking to everyone who comments anonymously?

Climbin'J said...

Great post. Vintage RTMS!

So unless DZnuts was driving a rental, I guess he had three cars. Or they belonged to family/others who were not there while he was away? All that expensive stuff and no alarm system? Not even a bunch of crotch cream in the doorways to stifle a quick getaway?

I'm curious about recipes that might replace whisking ravioli in spokes with mashing in spinergys.

Anonymous said...

yo bg dubs: '"friends" of people who pull shit like that are undoubtedly untrustworthy themselves'

im not calling you untrustworthy, or saying you pulled any 5hit like that, but there's definitely some of your life experience coming through there...

also tsuru: you prolly just hurt some pony-tailed van owner's feelings. careful!

bikesgonewild said...

...anon 5:38pm...

...as "they" say "you don't have to be a rocket scientist"...

...or as bob dylan sang "you don't have to be a weatherman, to know which way the wind blows"...

...enough "just sayin'..." for ya ???...

Anonymous said...

yo bg dubs, not to be a pedant but "you don't *need* a weatherman to know which way the wind blows" ... also i much prefer the red hot chili peppers' cover to the original, but that's just me. (check it out if you haven't heard it.)

also you're 'just sayin' might be just sayin', but im stickin with my original answer. i know you've been around the block and gtee you have an interesting story or two in that vein ... you doth protest too much

hope your winter's been good

bikesgonewild said...

...i'm sure yer prob'ly right on the misquote & even though i'm an "old" school guy, ya, i do listen to lotsa new tunes...

...i'm also not a doctor but having watched enough tv, i could do an emergency tracheotomy w/ a swiss army knife & a pen if somebody's larynx was swollen shut from a bike crash...

...just sayin'...

Anonymous said...

The Marvel Sideshow statuettes were described in more explicit detail than his bikes. This is why I love DZ.

bikesgonewild said...

...& speaking of quotes, just to be quite correct, here's yours as written:
..."The lady doth protest too much, (pause) methinks."...
...from willy shakespeare's hamlet - act 3, scene 2...

...the word "protest" was actually used by shakespeare in reference to "vows" or "affirmations" or by way of "declaring solemnly" as opposed to our more modern interpretation...
...therefor the phrase is generally misused in our present society...

...just pedantically sayin'...

Bluenoser said...

I'm outing Anonymous 1:56 as Lennard Zinn.

-B

kale said...

If these douches can be caught, I'm pretty sure the shitbags that stole all of DZ's swag will try to sell his bikes on cl.

Seeing as the job was carried out suspiciously incognito, the neighbors should be questioned and waterboarded (it's Utah, they voted for that shit). Chances are one or more of his bikes are orange, thus the attraction of any willing bike thieves was almost as predictable as unwelcome molestation during Mardi Gras.

...besides he was probably asking for it.

Anonymous said...

I thought BURGLARIZED meant the position TTer's and tri dork's adopted while sipping from their cutesy bar cup holder's! anyone else think they look whack? or is it just me ?

Bluenoser said...

I think it was Floyd, he bunked with DZ and knows all his stuff and wereabouts.

Plus Floyd is using the Mormons to gear his not yet announced Amish Tour Team.

Team OLT or Oh Lord Team.

-B

Anonymous said...

The Amish and The Mormons are mortal enemies, so I really doubt that Bluenoser...

Anonymous said...

Dear creators of "American English", we the English speaking world hereby revoke your right to create words. We forgave you when replaced the U in MUM with an O because circles are much easier to draw. We have even allowed you completely misspell GAOL (look it up) and replace half the S's with Z's. But now you have gone too far. How the hell did you come up with BURGLARIZED for crissake?

Jim said...

My Too Cents - I believe the correct term is Burglarated, though Burglaraterized, Burglariffisized, and Burglarooed, all regional idioms, are considered perfectly cromulent.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Mytwocents,

"Burgled" sounds cutesy and innocuous--almost like a board game. At worst it sounds like your neighbor borrowed your saucer and forgot to return it. Adding "ized" with the stinging "z" (that's "zee," not "zed") sound gives it more of a sense of urgency.

--RTMS

Anonymous said...

Mytwocents,

Would you let us back into the English-speaking world if we spell it "burglarise" instead? No? Spot of bother, then.

Anonymous said...

me and ricky once went to sam damm sisco and we herd that nekked babes were at a place called baker beach so we went there and all we saw was a bunch of choirs with there vienners on display

gnarlygnu said...

Eggcelent!!!! add your Lance twitters at http://lancestweets.wetpaint.com/

bikesgonewild said...

...hey...that's ah, lemme see, 2+2+2 = ummm, ah, $00.06 or 6 cents between jim, bsnyc/rtms & anon 7:58pm which is about $00.06 or 6 cents more than those s.o.b's left poor ol' dave z...

...math was never my strong point...i was more into literature...

Anonymous said...

… you had me at velveteen pig.

PS Frillstrong… we have a saying… it is not the size of the dog in the fight but the size of the fight in the dog…. Just saying sayin
Get the wrinkle out of your winkle and it would not be so weenie.

BGW .. Always a good plan to know which way the wind is blowin so you do not piss into it, as Neil Young would say a la On the Beach

And I have it on good authority that Chew-bacca is on of Red’s relatives with a filthy habit

Anonymous said...

down with all you tatted freaks! Don't blame the economy if you can't find someone looking for dipshits with tattoos to help their business

Anonymous said...

Frillstrong? Clever.

A convincing argument indeed.

Anonymous said...

So, given all that, AP, have to wonder are you a poodle or a pit bull?

cyclotourist said...

101 Dalmations.

Looks like World Naked River People have Grant Petersen approved Tevas on for riding. He has the naked rider market all locked up.

Anonymous said...

Two points:

"Burglarized" sounds to these ears much like "accessorized and "hipsterized." Adding a thing or a quality of a thing that was not previously there. But I suspect your Americanized ears hear it differently, just as they hear "burgled" as if belongs in a board game.

"You doth" just makes me cringe. Second person pronoun and third person verb will never agree.

You do
Thou dost

That is all.

Anonymous said...

Huh? said...
Tsuru,
if you're ttalking about someone (look i stuttered) in particular, you need to say Anon_:__, with the time in there. Or are you talking to everyone who comments anonymously?

**** Seriously? If you are not aware who I'm talking to, you really aren't paying much attention are you.



Anonymous said..
also tsuru: you prolly just hurt some pony-tailed van owner's feelings. careful!

**** Nice deflection... ignore the point of my comment and reply only to the last semi-comical bit. Did you learn that on a cycling forum somewhere?

I'll suggest again, more directly as to not elude you, you seem to have much to say and seem to be searching for a place to say it. Instead of leeching, lurking, trolling, etc Bike Snob and/or Fat Cyclist and/or lard knows where, start your own little bloggy blog. I.E. Put up, or shut up.

I'm just saying, you know? Just saying.

kale said...

Lanterne-fucking-Rouge, already.

Anonymous said...

Anyone in the SW PA area looking for a "men's" bike with a step-through frame?

Anonymous said...

geez tsuru - get a sense of humor, snobbie can handle it, and aren't we all lurking/trolling/leeching?

Anonymous said...

The DZ-Nuts tagline is "It protects your junk." Seems like he should've just spread that stuff around his house to protect all of his junk.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous wrote ---
geez tsuru - get a sense of humor, snobbie can handle it, and aren't we all lurking/trolling/leeching?

*** Oh, sorry... didn't realize you were just being funny, my apologies! I'll go back to ignoring you when I happen to check the comments again. And no... we aren't.

Anonymous said...

Mullet Mania!

Anonymous said...

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regards,
Oes Tsetnoc

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Quincy Quincette said...

"Bugrlarized" is so not a word. It's "burgled".

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Olle Nilsson said...

Wow, great to be back in 2009. Missed it.

No one pointed out that only old naked guys get their raviolis caught in their spokes? Innocent times indeed.