(European eBay auction photo, via Fyxomatosis)
I was inspired by the owner's can-do spirit, though I was less impressed with the Tribune's reporting. Firstly, they failed to coax from him the sorts of anecdotes that would be of interest to cyclists. (I'm sure he's had to dip into his stock while out on the road to "MacGyver" himself out of some tricky situations. After all, what cyclist hasn't booted a tire with a flavored condom?) Secondly, the accompanying video is preceded by a commercial for a child talent search that begins, "Hey Kids!":
(Child indicates the size of her dreams.)I'm glad that the Chicago Tribune expects lots of kids to be watching their video about the man who delivers vibrators and pornography on his bicycle for a living.
Speaking of phallic things, you may recall I recently mentioned that a Dick Power bicycle would be a perfect complement to the VAGX messenger bag. Well, I've since received a heartfelt plea from a reader on Long Island who is in possession of an actual Dick Power frame and fork and needs to sell. Now, ordinarily I observe a strict policy of not using this blog as a platform to help individuals make sales. However, the opportunity to help somebody acquire a Dick Power is simply too novel to pass up. As such, if you're interested in getting your hands on a Dick Power, contact the owner via email at this address. The size of the frame is apparently somewhere in the neighborhood of 56cm. That's nearly two feet of Dick Power! Again, I do not know or vouch for the seller, nor do I stand to profit from the sale, but do I take puerile pleasure in cringe-worthy puns so if I can help two people exchange money for Dick Power then I'm just happy to be involved in some way.
Moving on from Dick Power to long headtubes, a proud Seven owner has forwarded me a picture of his ride:
On Monday I expressed consternation over the fact that so many expensive Sevens have an abundance of headset spacers despite being custom-built for each rider. As such, this particular reader wanted me to know that when ordering his own bike he insisted it have no more than 10mm of spacers, which resulted in a clean look and a headtube that could be described as "epic." Personally, I think it looks like it was backed into some kind of miniaturization ray but only passed halfway through, and I don't see why the top tube couldn't also be more level to minimize this effect, but I won't pretend to understand the "magic" that goes into custom-tuning each Seven's ride characteristics. At least the frame actually looks like it was built to fit the rider. In any case, I thank this reader for the photo and I congratulate him on his bike--though a wider view reveals that his dog is unimpressed:
Having said that, I now present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think carefully, and click on your answer. If you're right, you'll know it. If you're wrong, you'll see this lo-fi promotional video for the Neuvation crabon fiber road frame, forwarded to me by the proprietor of Metal Inquisition.
Best of luck, and ride safe this weekend.
2) Which is not an actual selling point given for this bike?
--"Perfect for commuting and just leaving outdoors"
--"Great for everyday use"
--"Great 'Winter bike'"
3) According to the owner, this SE Lager:
--"Kills it on the regular"
--"Turns heads allday"
4) According to the seller, these bars are:
--All of the above
5) Where was this miniature P-Far sighted?
--San Francisco, CA
6) Where was this unorthodox bar setup spotted?
--The Urban Outfitters in Santa Cruz, CA
--"No Brakes" track bike boutique in Atlanta, GA
--Juan Pelota, the cafe at Mellow Johnny's bike shop in Austin, TX
--The vegan student co-op store at UC San Diego
7) This image depicts which dreaded mechanical phenomenon?
--Difficulty shifting under load
8) Whose knuckles are these?
--Hooch of Peddlin Kustoms
--Pooch of Peddlin' Customz
--Mooch of Meddlin' Kustomz