Friday, March 3, 2017

BSNYC No Quiz Only Tardiness!

Well yesterday's mixed-terrain ramble was so rewarding (for me) that today I decided to treat myself to another one:


Because I deserve it:



It's chilling to think that in many households during that era the only thing preventing murder-suicide was a bar of soap.

Anyway, in keeping with my current ethos I once again rode a cheap bike while wearing street clothes, only this time instead of the Surly travel bike I opted for Ol' Piney:


And instead of yesterday's relatively docile terrain I headed for the forbidding Trails Behind The Mall:


Thus affording myself the opportunity to marvel at typical examples of suburban car-centric "couldn't-give-a-fuckedness" like this one:


You've got to appreciate the fact that when deciding where to place this sign someone most likely said, "Just put it on the sidewalk where it won't be in anyone's way."

And yes, people do actually walk on this sidewalk.  I know because I ride on it--and yes, I have no problem riding on the sidewalk in the suburbs when I deem it necessary, as it is on this particular stretch of road, which is for all intents and purposes unrideable.

In any event it was good to be back on the portly bike, which I hadn't ridden since the last snowstorm:


When I took my life in my hands in using tires that were only rated for "summer fatbiking:"


And while it's still not summer they were much better suited to the current conditions:


Speaking of living life on the edge, do you know the Marin Pine Mountain 1 would be illegal in Australia?  Yes, that's right, apparently bars wider than 700mm and and single-ring drivetrains do not meet Australian safety standards:


In an email to BikeRadar, Darren Rutherford the General Manager of Giant Bicycles Australia explained, "In Australia, the mandatory standard for pedal bicycles requires that certain types of bikes must not have handlebars that exceed a particular width (namely 700mm)."

However, bicycles intended for "competition" are excluded:

“Bicycles which are designed, promoted, and supplied primarily for use in competition are excluded from this standard, and the bicycles that Giant have recalled appear not to fit under that exclusion,” Bourke said.

Though obviously the bike industry and media would not consider the Pine Mountain a competition bicycle because it's not expensive enough and there's no crabon.

Oh, and the single-ring drivetrain isn't kosher because in Australia front derailleurs count as chainguards for some reason:

“The other aspect of the recall relates proliferation of 1x drivetrains,” he continued. “Previously the front derailleur was technically considered ‘chain protection’ and with 1x it’s no longer there.”

So I think it's safe to say that if I took the Pine Mountain to Australia and rode it helmetless I'd be executed.

Incredibly despite my unsafe equipment I survived, but as I was heading home on the bike path I encountered this ominously-placed "Hazmat/Spill Response" vehicle:


And through the trees I could just make out a cleanup crew at work in Tibbetts Brook:


Presumably Team Trump is wasting no time in contaminating those waterways.

Tibbetts Brook, in case you're wondering, which you almost certainly weren't, flows in to Van Cortlandt Park in the Bronx where it creates Van Cortlandt Lake as a result of having been dammed by Old Man Van Cortlandt some centuries ago:


Then from there it heads underground into the sewer system, flowing under Tibbett Avenue:


And eventually winds up in the Harlem River.

So there you go.

After my thrilling brush with contamination I officially escaped the suburbs and attained the safety of Van Cortlandt Park and New York City:


There are barriers to keep the ATV-riding riff-raff out:



But the riff-raff just go around them:


And so it goes.

You may now begin your weekend.

Tell your boss I said it was OK.

Ride safe,


--Wildcat Rock Machine




46 comments:

Blog Drafter said...

wOw, 1st!

Cinimod said...

What health problem?

dnk said...

Ooh la la la la!

Anonymous said...

Je suis dans le premier dix.

N/A said...

Haha, classic Old Man Van Cortland!

Ted K. said...

218. Various thinkers have pointed out that leftism is a kind of religion. Leftism is not a religion in the strict sense because leftist doctrine does not postulate the existence of any supernatural being. But, for the leftist, leftism plays a psychological role much like that which religion plays for some people. The leftist NEEDS to believe in leftism; it plays a vital role in his psychological economy. His beliefs are not easily modified by logic or facts. He has a deep conviction that leftism is morally Right with a capital R, and that he has not only a right but a duty to impose leftist morality on everyone. (However, many of the people we are referring to as “leftists” do not think of themselves as leftists and would not describe their system of beliefs as leftism. We use the term “leftism” because we don’t know of any better words to designate the spectrum of related creeds that includes the feminist, gay rights, political correctness, etc., movements, and because these movements have a strong affinity with the old left. See paragraphs 227-230.)

N/A said...

Ted K. got bogged down in the muddy dick-region.

Unknown said...

Top Tennis!

Buffalo Bill said...

Thanks for the permission slip snob - going for a ride now (before it snows again)

dancesonpedals said...

it's just a summer cold

1904 Cadardi said...

It's my bosses birthday. I assume you want him to take the rest of the day off too.

1904 Cadardi said...

^boss's^

Stupid fricking grammar.

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Turd-teen Scrani!

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Hey you've taken car cake to the next level- Wheel donuts.

HDEB said...

Although a $1,000 bike is "cheap" compared to a Venge/Schmenge, for me, a $1,000 bike is fantastically out of my price range. Perhaps I'm not truly part of the sophisticated urban elite but I enjoy my hopelessly outdated bikes, happy riding!

Anonymous said...

When I was a kid, there used to be a ski slope/rope tow in Van Cortlandt Park... if you can believe that.


Oh wait, did I leave this same comment last year? Gah....

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

What would happen if you picked up the "Road Work Ahead" sign off the sidewalk and placed it in the road? I bet the cops would look for surveillance tapes from nearby security cameras and have CSI dust for prints and otherwise investigate the crime scene to find the perpetrator.

If the handlebars are less than 700 mm wide, is it still a giant bike?

Splish Splash said...

I'll volunteer to take a bubble bath with Babble.

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

WOW, TOP TWENNY AT 400PM

Missing my MTV said...

Commercials on tv were so much better in the late '70s.

Honeymooning in the Pocono's said...

Tub babe is cooing "I hope Daddy pedals back fast today".

Drock said...

Sweet pics, outlaw my 1x's, and I'll hit you with 700mm bar where it hurts. Why does stupid have a voice these days?

Die free said...

Out of contention today. Perhaps a weekend of rest will do me some good.

Soured With Age said...

There was no real anger, nor intolerance of fools, displayed in today's post, I'm left wanting.

Anonymous said...

You know, environmental quality is a normal good which means as you get richer you demand more of it. Gutting of the EPA etc. is ominous in that it reveals Trump's expectations of the U.S. economy, which, given my first statement seems to indicate that he actually isn't very optimistic about making America great again.

wle said...

i wants to get wif dat Calgon bath Lady and her aloe vera

wle

wle said...

how come unitard/bomber ted isn;t First?
i thought he paid to be First every week/day
wle

Zen Master said...

Do you know what makes me angry? It's those huge fucking seat bags that seem to be all the rage now! Whenever I see one of those obscene, overstuffed monstrosities, pendulously swinging off the rear of some pseudo-off road, never-seen a trail, stupid fat bike in the middle of a goddamn urban centre, I want to curl into the fetal position and soil my pants!

Freddy Murcks said...

Where I live in Canada's flabby double chin, the trails are still muddy and snowy and I expect them to be that way for several more weeks. It's not often that I wish I lived in NYC's environs, but I could really go for some local dirt right about now.

bad boy of the north said...

anony@333...i was raised near van cortlandt park,but near the thruway.where was the "ski slope"?

Frickus Rungus said...

My quiz answer is: Ol' Piney in Van Cortlandt Park with a 740mm handlebar.

Anonymous said...

I hope you moved that sign into the road and didn't just go around it.

Dooth said...

The Aussies outlawed track bikes, unless they're on velodromes. It's obvious the aim of that law is to abolish any semblance of a "fixie culture." As a fifty three year old, I'm ok with it. I walk my track bike to the park and ride intervals on the half mile rectangular path around the ball fields for an hour or so, all the while my former twenty-something conscience is cursing me out for not ripping it on the streets.

Transfer Case said...

I'd love to see some more abandoned Land Rover porn. That was so hot!

Anonymous said...

Clearly being isolated and hanging upside down has addled the brains of Australians. Have to remember that they are descended from folk who were sent there for stealing sheep or doing worse with sheep...

Wall E

Doc Sarvis said...

They've been looting and stripping the US since the reign of the Gipper...

Grump said...

In "Trumpspeak", a "Hazmat/Spill Response" team, will, in the future, be responsible for dumping radioactive waste products into out water supply.. (A little like Fahrenheit 451)

bieks said...

You say "no quiz" in a teasing sort of way like you're implying there will ever be another one. Are we married now? Is that what happened to this relationship? I feel duped.

BeerDrivenCyclist said...

39st bee-arches.

Hair Furor said...

Oops guys, my bad on the hazmat spill!

Accidentally crashed my aero crabon gravel bicycling bicycle into the stream. It was equipped with the AutoLube9000 chain lubricating device. My riding buddy was also Cippolini, as we are very very good friends, and he offered to go into the stream to retrieve my bike.

theEel said...

i still read this..... thank you.

JLRB said...

Scranus

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Now, this was a Calgon Commercial!

Time Marches On said...

65 hours later and 43 comments? Is it a holiday weekend, Ground Hog Day Part Duce or something? Maybe everyone is busy reading Trump Tweets "Obama Tapped Snobs Phone, Outrageous!", "Vancouver Trump Tower is Perfect, Perfect", "It's 4am, do you know which shower handle is hot and which is cold?".

Tree Hugger said...

Vancouver Trump Tower is Perfect, Perfect, the Perfect Place to Protest.

Podesta's Walnut Sauce said...

Ted K., please consider that the "leftists" protesting Trump as they were told to do by the neocon/lib war machine are not classical liberals. We want nothing to do with them.

Yours,

A sane lefty.