Thursday, March 2, 2017

Sorry I'm Late, I Thought It Was Still Wednesday

Remember Ann Pfoser Darby, the community board member in Queens who said that we won't need any more bike lanes once Trump deports all the illegal aliens?

Well you should, because I just mentioned her yesterday.

Either way, you'll be pleased to know she's retracted her comments and apologized.

Just kidding!



Nah, she totally doubled down:


Pfoser Darby doubled down on the comments when reached by phone Wednesday, saying she was sharing her observations with the community over bike lanes already installed on Queens Boulevard.

"I see who goes by and who doesn't, and there was a lot of people going by to work early in the morning and like about 90 percent of them are gone," she said — adding that she took it as a sign that these people have been "picked up by ICE [Immigration and Customs Enforcement.]"

"It looks like they were illegal aliens, I don't know, I didn't speak to them," she added.

When asked how she could tell someone's immigration status from afar, she said it's "observation and logic."

"You can kind of tell, especially sometimes the way they dress," she said, adding later that it's obvious if "someone speaks only Chinese."

90 percent of the people using the bike lane have suddenly disappeared, really?  Has she checked her cataracts?  Because she sounds pretty addled, even for someone born in the early days of the Roosevelt administration.  (Frankie, not Teddy.)  Anyway, it would be easy to dismiss all of this as the harmless ranting of an old racist still waiting to get discovered by Norman Lear, except that she's a member of a fucking community board that makes life and death decisions.  Why should someone so out of touch have any input at all on whether there's a bike lane on 111th Street, or on anything that affects public safety?  When this woman was a kid here's what 111th Street in Corona, Queens looked like:


I'm sure she'd like to turn back time to the heady days of rolling hoops and throwing rocks at immigrants, but sadly those days are gone.

I wonder #whatpressureyourunning was appropriate when gravel-grinding on 111th Street in Corona back in 1938.

Speaking of #whatpressureyourunning, while riding north of the city this morning I decided "screw it," hopped a guardrail, and scampered into the woods:


My bike was over-geared and under-tired and wearing street clothes, but it was an enjoyable detour nevertheless:


Actually, it was probably an enjoyable detour because of all those things, since I'm finally learning that the less "prepared" you are for a ride the more enjoyable it's likely to be.

Oh sure, there's now a bike and a drivetrain and a tire tread pattern for every conceivable type of terrain, but that doesn't mean you need any of it.  If you run out of gears and your rear wheel starts slipping you get off the bike and walk, it's really not a big deal.

I realize this may seem like common sense to you, but for me as a recovering Fred it's been a long and technical climb to spontaneity--though one that's been aided by my relocation to the Bronx, since it puts me within easy striking distance of this sort of thing, whereas from Brooklyn you've got to ride for two hours in any direction just to escape the sprawl:


Still, as bucolic as this particular spot may seem it's still the suburbs, and there appeared to be some sort of local ordinance requiring every resident to own at least two dogs.  Indeed, at one point I was set upon by a pack of hounds and terriers who, fresh from frolicking in a stream, all decided to paw at my crotch:


Funny how that sort of thing never happens when you want it to.

Anyway, I continued to ramble:


And enjoyed the handiwork of the local trail builders:


Which today's high winds had effectively air-dried after yesterday's heavy rains.

Then I took to the gravel, despite the fact that I was not riding an industry-approved gravel bike:


Really I don't think anybody would approve of my travel bike with its ungainly spacer stack, but for whatever reason it's been the bike I've been gravitating towards lately:


It may be time to start curating the route for the 2017 Grand Fondon't.


69 comments:

Samuel said...

Boom

Bryan Dotson said...

Hello

Anonymous said...

Podium?

Die free said...

Made it!

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

I take the Fifth! Scranus

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

I meant Pfipfht!

Anonymous said...

Dang, woulda podiumed but I was outside throwing rocks at immigrants.

Anonymous said...

Are you saying the hours I've spent carefully curating the perfect drive-train, tires, handlebars, and scranus cream have gone to waste? That I'd have more fun if I just made do with what I had like some sort of migrant? You've lost this reader.

ken e. said...

tennish!

paulb said...

Brooklyn's still good for ez ride and swim at Riis Park. (Now with Fletcher's fancy bbq.) But, yeah, tough to escape north.

ken e. said...

"that's a band."

BikeSnobNYC said...

paulb,

I do miss the Riis Park ride/swim...though that's really only on the table for a couple months a year anyway, so I'm happy to trade it for being able to ride to nice trails.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Skidmark said...

SNOB sir,on the travel bike there, did you curate a "front" fender on the rear and go naked up front?

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

If the New York Gran PFondo is May 21, 2017, can we assume the date of the 2017 Grand Fondon't will fall on May 20, 2017? I think the 2016 Fondon't was the day before the Fondo, or was it a week before? I need to start my non-training program and curate my outfit.

I'll be packing some Trump sandwiches for the rest stops - White bread, full of baloney, Russian dressing and a small pickle.

James said...

PAWD PENI

BikeSnobNYC said...

Skidmark,

It's just one of those race blade-type fenders for bikes without clearance or eyelets. (This bike has both, but just stuck it on there to keep my ass dry.)

--Wildcat Etc.

N/A said...

Wildcat, you've been playing fast and loose with your bike stuff lately. Summer tires on a winter husky bike ride, gravel riding on a wholly inappropriate steed, lobdamnit, man, you gotta' stop being so wild and crazy. I bet you didn't even let air out of your tires before you hopped that gate. Think of the kids, and this wild ass example you're setting for them! Also, I suspect those trousers with the muddy dick-region aren't even biek pants.

N/A said...

"Muddy Dick-Region" is where Ann Pfoser Darby likes to vacation in the summer.

Country Squire said...

Did that, long ago parked, Land Rover have Brooks seats?

hellbelly said...

Recovering Fred or not; Time pedals for the win!

Frickus Rungus said...

I think that the dogs are bicycling blogger paw-parazzie and they were trying to get a linear cock width measurement for the tabloids.

Grump said...

Question: Does Ann Pfoser Darby wear a sheet AND an armband, or just one of those thingys???? She sounds like one of "those people" who carefully move the blinds apart so that they can peer between the slats to "protect" their neighborhood from different people.



dnk said...

Pfoser Darby. "Observation & logic."(?!) Good lord.

My own observational powers are leading to the inexorable conclusion that 100% of Trump supporters support a policy agenda of enforced bigotry.

Even if 90% of them claim to be as innocent as lambs and pure as ivory soap.

BeerDrivenCyclist said...

24st?

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

I actually do approve of your travel bike even that spacer stack. Although I do wish you would rub all the same colorwhey instead of shades of Dr. Seuss.

Pfoser: Just goes to show you can be any political affiliation and still be an idiot.

Not Leroy said...

— "My bike was over-geared and under-tired and wearing street clothes" —

#dressyourbikelikeyoudressyourdog

Agent Orange said...

Hey Democrats, Sessions has Trump's total confidence.
Don't go Russian to conclusions.

Under Pfressure said...

If my bike is over-tired, I let it rest for bit.

Lemieux said...

The name Pfoser sounds kind of immigrant-y to me. Not that I'm complaining, my name is also full of foreign-seeming letter combinations. But there it is.

Hair Furor said...

Could the massive observed drop off of cyclists for Pfoser have to do with it being friggin' WINTER?! Someone should tell her that all the immigrants head towards Soul Cycle in this season...

Victor Kaminski said...

vsk said ...

Hey dnk, I don't support a policy agenda of enforced bigotry. Inexorated or noninexorated.

Just sayin.


vsk

Tipper Gore said...

Crotchshot -there goes your pg13 rating

Anonymous said...

Nice looking bike. With panaracer paselas, you can go just about anywhere.

Chazu said...


You should list that "vintage" SUV on eBay. When the funds hit your PayPal account, give the GPS coordinates to the buyer.

Hoghopper said...

Nice patina on the Landy. If you take chazu's advice (5:03 pm), expect a big deposit in your paypal

HDEB said...

Day dreaming about the fun to be had on the 2017 Grand Fondon't��

Mae West said...

"SNOB sir,on the travel bike there, did you curate a "front" fender on the rear and go naked up front?"

Wildcat, considering your thumb injury from the header you took last year, I for one am happy to see you with the naked front in the woods.

Jobst Brandt said...

"...since I'm finally learning that the less "prepared" you are for a ride the more enjoyable it's likely to be."


There is no need to fear, UNDER BIKING is here.

Some guy from upstate said...

I really enjoyed today's post. Perfect mix of mockery and bikey joy. A few observations/questions:

1. I agree with Mae, I interpreted the missing front fender as an effort to avoid last year's unfortunate thumb incident.

2. I hope you pulled a nice wheelie drop off that stream crossing.

3. Does the long stem adequately compensate for the undersize frame on the travel bike?

4. How do you ride in skinny jeans? My testicles hurt just thinking about it.

5. Where is this magical place where cool old Land Rovers spring from the soil? When I was a wee lad I wanted one of those so bad. Even today if I see one I have to stop and admire.


BikeSnobNYC said...

Some guy from upstate,

1) That's definitely part of it;

2) I won't spoil the illusion for you so sure;

3) Absolutely, aesthetics of the steerer aside it's perfect;

4) Those jeans are from Uniqlo, very comfy. Maybe the best jeans for cycling I've had to date (including Rapha, Outlier, and Levi's bike-specific jeans) which is ironic because they're not for cycling and they're only like $20. Also their Heattech undershirts make great base layers. Also also I have no testicles or genitalia of any sort;

5) Westchester!

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Spacer Racer said...

Snob: #HowManySpacers'YouRunnin'? only cuz you brought it up.

But on a serious: How many spacers are you running? How many would you feel comfortable with, max? What if I told you I've run uncut steerers in XXL frames, up to 80+mm of spacerage?I swear I've seen a picture on Sheldon Brown's site where he rocked a similar stack, with no spacers, just a clamp-on canti stop at the bearing dust cap.
I've never felt more comfortable, I'll tell you what. Opens up the "Boiler Room" of the diaphragm, etc, and positions you more neutrally to slay on the downs-hills, as well.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the dick-pic šŸ‘
Will add it to my collection of semi-professional bike blogger dick pics.

Carlos D. said...

TONY WENR

BikeSnobNYC said...

Spacer Racer,

Probably a good 5cm on there including the cable hanger. I wouldn't go much more than that but I knew this frame was still on the edge of what I could make work size-wise.

--Wildcat Etc.

The King of Park Slope's country cousin said...

There comes a point in every Land Rover Defender owner's life where they say "Enough is enough, I'm not fixing it again" and just abandon it on the spot.

ReVolted said...

Land Rover's electrics by Lucas, the prince of darkness.

biorider said...

Thanks Mr. Wildcat Rock Machine. Your day's ramble made me smile.

fourhourerection said...

ReVolted; Wiring harness smoke standard equip.

Jacob Perkins said...

"Land Rover's electrics by Lucas, the prince of darkness."

Why do the British drink their beer warm? Because Lucas makes their refrigerators.

Rod Stewart said...

The big bossemed lady with the Dutch accent, tried to change my point of view

Sir Roderick David Stewart, CBE said...

That's "bosomed", not "bossemed"

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Joseph Lucas company motto - "A good day's work and home before dark!"

dancesonpedals said...

After all the fuss about the travel bike's spacers and vestigial rear fender I went back to the picture.....

Is that an overly long crank, or is the perspective screwy?

BikeSnobNYC said...

dancesonpedals,

Not unless 172.5 is long. It's a 48 (?) tooth big ring though so maybe that makes it look longer.

--Wildcat Etc,

dancesonpedals said...

So much for using a paper clip as calipers & assuming the wheels are 700's.

Thanks.

Fred McFredly said...

Dear Workcycles,

In my AdBlock, I just right clicked on your ad and selected Block Element. Life is too short to put up with crappy animated .gif ads. Didn't bother blocking the non-intrusive static .gifs. Next time skip the animation.

Buh bye,
Annoyed Fred

BikeSnobNYC said...

Fred McFredly,

I am SO SORRY you had to put up with such a MASSIVE INCONVENIENCE.

But thanks for taking the time to leave a put-upon comment instead of simply suffering in silence.

--Your Webmaster, Who Does Not HAVE To Do This

JLRB said...

Snob - Per your 8:31 PM comment, may we call you Ken?

Anonymous said...

Wildcat;

Please, new post THEN comment on critics on this post.

Thanks in advance for any assistance.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 1:00pm,

Today's post will be late and you can thank Fred McFredly for that.

--Wildcat Etc.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

LATE POST

JLRB said...

Well Mr. Fred McFredly, now you've gone and made me work on a Friday afternoon - I hope a dog paws you in the yabbies of pants

M. Amis said...

No Ted, Is his version of War and Peace fini.

1500 cc MGA Engines make great Boat Anchors said...

Yesterday I sojourned out looking for a Range Rover to run into; no luck, they were all playing possum. I did come within a dog's hair of T-Boning a Saint Bernard that decided to make a last second dart into my path. I was like "Whoa, this is one big dog. This isn't going to be like grinding over a Taco Bell Dog."

PS McFredly, I hope a big dog bites the family jewels off, and I hope it's a male dog.

dancesonpedals said...

I thought the work cycles animation was whimsical. I mean, that's San Francisco, not Loch Ness. The Alien Spaceship blasting the WH doesn't match up the one from Independence Day. And for crying out loud; the bike is too underpowered to reach orbit & that kid's not wearing proper spacesuit.

Rod Stewart Classifieds said...

Aging Rocker Seeks Big Bosomed Lady With Dutch Accent. Will consider a Belgian with a Lisp. All Enquiries confidential. Please send photo.

N/A said...

Ann Pfoser Darby parties in Fred McFredly's muddy dick-region!

Helen said...

I'm going to dare to disagree with you again Snob (please bear in mind that I violently agree with you 99.9% of the time) The reason for the wide handlebar ban is the inadequacy of off-road bike paths here, although I imagine they're no better in some places in the US. We have sections of paths just like the one you showed with the roadwork sign, which have been repurposed as parts of a bike route where cyclists are supposed to ride TWO WAY even though it was never built for this purpose. There's one on my daily route where yes, excessively wide handlebars could actually cause two bikes to clip (with heavy traffic inches to your left if you're on the outside).
If we had adequately designed bike paths it wouldn't be an issue. *sigh*

Helen said...

D'oh! Wrong thread.
This was supposed to be a comment on the Giant Handlebars post.
My only comfort is that I'm not Ann Pfoser Darby.