Friday, September 30, 2016

This Just In: Shofar, So Good!

Firstly, you may have noticed I haven't given a Friday Fun Quiz in awhile.

Good for you.

Secondly, I will not be updating this blog on Monday, October 3rd or Tuesday, October 4th, but I will return on Wednesday, October 5th with regular updates.  Why?  Because it's Rosh Hashanah, which is the Jewish New Year and not the name of a woman who's a progressive rock superfan and huge stoner.  (That's Rush Hash Anna I'm talking about, obviously.)  By the way, most Jewish holidays involve an accessory of some kind, and in this case it's the shofar:


Though Rush Hash Anna uses it for something else:


Do I observe Rush Hashanah?  Absolutely not.  Religion is the trans fat of the masses.  However, the schools are closed for it, which means I've got to put on my parenting gloves--and if I'm at the mercy of the New York City Department of Education then goddamn it so are you.

(Pro tip: if you want to have a good sense of when I'll be taking time off just take a look at the DOE website.)

Of course, if it's Rush Hash Anna then it must be autumn, and if it's autumn then it's time to get the ol' Milwaukee ready for the cold and the wet by slapping some fenders on it:


And yes, you'll be happy to know I dug out the safety fenders with the breakaway struts so I don't bust a digit again.  My thumb's still not right after all these months, and you can believe me when I tell you it's really thrown me off of my tire-changing game.

By the way, note my sweet artisanal kickstand, which of course I keep inside my EH Works tool roll at all times:


If you want one of these they're only $129.99, they're available for both standard BB shells as well as BB30, and you can order them here.

Just keep in mind that they're handmade one at a time, so allow at least 6-8 weeks for delivery.

In other news, I've finally lost my last remaining shred of faith in cycling and humanity thanks to this abomination:


Easy now, it's not a sign of the Apocalypse, and it's not that we've given up on the youth, it's merely another option, albeit an expensive, controversial option to get kids outside and on two wheels. Haibike's Sduro HardFour 4.0, along with its odd name, is an e-bike with 24in wheels and a top speed of 12mph with aspirations of allowing little riders to do bigger rides and keep up with mom and dad. 

No, this is ABSOLUTELY a sign of the Apocalypse.  And stop justifying things because they "get kids outside."  You can also get a kid outside by leaving a trail of cupcakes, pitching a tent, and setting an Xbox up inside it, but that doesn't make it a good idea.  In fact this is even worse than doing that because at least the Xbox trick will only cost you a few hundred bucks, whereas this bike costs well over $2,000:

Available now with pricing at £1,988, US$2,599, Australian pricing TBD.

Presumably the Australian pricing is pending whether or not it will ship with a full-face motorcycle helmet.

Also, "allowing little riders to do bigger rides and keep up with mom and dad," really?  That's a pretty expensive bribe just because you feel the need to do a grinduro™ epic® and you can't deal with finding a babysitter.  And not only are you squandering money, but you're also ruining your kids for bikes for the rest of their lives, because there's no way they'll want to pedal a regular bike after this.  It's sad to think that if I'm lucky to still be mountain biking in 20 years the trails will be teeming with people on ebikes because they can't imagine riding on anything else.

So thanks in advance to all you selfish parents out there for ruining my golden years.

I guess I'll just have to lease a Toyota Avalon and move to Florida.

But it's not all gloom and doom out there, and I was pleased to see that the New York City Department of Transportation at least recognizes the need to grow the percentage of bicycle trips significantly:



Earlier this month, DOT released a blueprint for increasing bike mode share in its five-year strategic plan, which includes protected bike lanes and a five-borough Citi Bike system. The Office of Sustainability report also acknowledges that the city has a long way to go before cycling is an accessible transportation option in many parts of NYC.

“Despite the rapid growth in the city’s bicycle network, there are still many areas that lack sufficient bike connections,” the report says. “In addition to planned expansions, the City will emphasize an all-ages and abilities core network of protected bike lanes throughout the five boroughs, and the build-out of key connectors linking neighborhoods to transit hubs.”

Sounds good to me.

And hey, guess what's more dangerous than not wearing a helmet: simply breathing!

The report highlights the public health effects of high emissions. Fine particulate matter, or PM2.5, released by vehicles causes 320 premature deaths and 870 emergency room visits each year, according to the Department of Health and Mental Hygiene.

"The victim was not wearing a respirator."

Still, we're going to have to do a lot more than increase the number of bike lanes if we really want to increase cycling, and I was impressed to see that London's mayor is looking to ban trucks that don't meet increased safety standards:



Although lorries account for just 4 per cent of the total mileage driven in London, they account for a hugely disproportionate percentage of casualties among vulnerable road users.

In the past two years, HGVs were involved in 58 per cent of cyclist deaths in London, and in 23 per cent of pedestrian fatalities.

Khan said the scheme was the first of its kind in the world and would result in many lorries being upgraded before the ban came into place.

“I’m not prepared to stand by and let dangerous lorries continue to cause further heartbreak and tragedy on London’s roads,” said Khan.

When asked to comment on whether or not such a policy on lorries could be instituted in New York City as a part of the Vision Zero initiative, mayor Bill de Blasio responded, "Huh, what?  Hugh Laurie?  Absolutely, I love his work."


(Bill de Blasio: Loves the "House" guy.)

The chances of any mayor in the greater metropolitan area standing up to any business involving trucks are essentially nonexistent:

And with that I ride befendered into the long weekend.  Thanks for reading, ride safe, and I'll see you back here on Wednesday, October 5th.

Sinsereley,



--Wildcat Rock Machine



88 comments:

Seattle lone wolf said...

First Scranus

Two Claws said...

Podium?

Two Claws Up!

dcee604 said...

Podium for once!

Bagnall said...

Good move for london, hopefully this is just the begining

BeerDrivenCyclist said...

Awhoopachang!

Anonymous said...

Top tennis?

Anonymous said...

Top Tenz

Fergie said...

Lunchy munchy yes!

Mike O. said...

Happy Rush Hashanah, although being a cynical former New Yorker, we used to call it "Rush a Homa" since all the Jewish folks celebrating it had to be home before sunset. I remember seeing the midtown diamond district emptying out mid-afternoon for the holiday.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...i hear the sirens of a demagogue wailing

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Thanks for funny blog.

GRIN DURO

N/A said...

Friday quiz, audience participation edition:

In the past 4 weeks, how many Friday Quizzes has Wildcat Rock Machine, semi-professional bike blogger, "dropped"?

Seattle lone wolf said...

Dog is my copilot. And cat is my air traffic controller.

Old timer said...

Huh? What?

Some guy from upstate said...

None?

Some guy from upstate said...

I'm getting the feeling WCRM has killed the quiz. May it rest in peace.

Wells Fargo Loan Wolf said...

"If your ride on the Sduro HardFour 4.0 Lasts more than four hours you'll probably need to consult your charger."

The tykes might also benefit from a full-face Vaginut.

Wrench Monkey said...

Hey! Is that London mayor JANETTE Sadiq-Khan?? What's up with that?

Emily Litella said...

Blow the Shofar? I thought they blew the chauffeur.

That's different. Never mind. :)

N/A said...

I notice the ol' Milwaukee is sporting some Gatorskins. Is that the winter tire in place of the Panaracers?

Bobby Rimshot said...

Commentariate: Wildcat, can we has quiz?

WCRM: Quiz? Noes! Take subway.

BikeSnobNYC said...

N/A,

They're skinny fenders so I had to put on skinnier tires.

--Wildcat Etc.

Anonymous said...

I'm really getting sick of not seeing a quiz on this blog that I skip work to read! Come on, I put a lot of effort into reading this without my co-workers seeing me. I may have to cancel my subscription.

N/A said...

Huh, that seems reasonable. Practical, even. I guess you really know your stuff!



As an aside, I asked myself, "Is it creepy that I'm scrutinizing his bike super-closely and commenting on something as mundane as tires?" I didn't answer myself, and I'd appreciate it if nobody else did, either.

leroy said...

My dog informs me that Sunday evening's karaoke playlist will include a Rush - Sha Na Na mash up.

As usual, I have no idea what he's talking about.

Oh well, ride safely all.

And my dog better not be right about that Knog Oi Bike Bell I ordered being a shofar.

Oi, indeed. (And shofar it hasn't arrived.)

George said...

Let me know when you're ready to move to Florida. I can get you into Del Boca Vista, Phase III. I know the former President of the Condo association there.

Grump said...

When you move to Florida, just get an electric golf cart to drive around in your community.

PS.....Day's off????...I demand a refund.


Victor Kaminski said...

vsk said ...

Suprised to not to read any Snobulations about the George Hincapie incident ...


vsk

BikeSnobNYC said...

N/A,

I could talk tires and fenders all day!

--Wildcat Etc.

1904 Cadardi said...

#whatfenderstrutbreakawaytensilestrengthyourunning?

N/A said...

Well, in that case...

I've got an old 10-speed that I'm converting to a single for what the French would call "le shits and giggles". If I switch to 700 wheels, I can fit fat tires all up in it. I currently have a new set of 700x35 Paselas in the all-black colorway. I'm thinking that I would rather have the gumwall colorway, plus I think I can jam some 38's all up in there, while I'm at it. But do I really want to crack off another $80 for tires for a bike that will essentially just be a short-term toy that will be sold off ASAP? I think that regardless of what tires I run, you can see that it's a lot of pressure to deal with.

No fenders planned for this particular biek.

N/A said...

TIRE TALK

N/A said...

I like to include at least one "pressure" reference per week, but sometimes I worry that the jokes will eventually go flat.

Anonymous said...

My ol' Milwaukee is always cold and wet straight out of the cooler.

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

The Aga Khan
The Wrath of Khan
Janette Sadik-Khan
Sadiq Khan

Just a typical stream of khan-scious for me.

Leroy, I think you meant Le Sha Na Na T'ova?

Mr. Peabody said...

That tool kit, are variations available based on the tire pressure you run?

PS Once again aced the quiz, please mail me a check for $64,000.


Howie Mandel said...

Bet the Scribe of Gowanus is saving up questions for the first ever 100 question test.

1,000's of Words a Day or Else said...

Searched the entire DOE (Dept of Energy) website, didn't find anything about you being granted time off from quill pen and ink bottle.

janinedm said...

@N/A, 35mm ain't no fat tire, child! No wonder you slipping and sliding all over the place with them skinny ass tires! (Sorry, I watched a bunch of episodes of RuPaul's Drag Race in a row. I should be normal again by Sunday.)

Frickus Rungus said...

The now defunct Friday quizzes used to help me maintain my "Mental Hygiene".
Kind of the brain equivalent to brushing your teeth with Spongebob branded toothpaste.

Hagay Carmi said...

שנה טובה ומתוקה!

Hagay Carmi said...

שנה טובה ומתוקה!

dop said...

Let's not forget Sylvia and Genghis Khan

bad boy of the north said...

Snob.thanks for the hilarity and making the weekend less gloomy in the environs of NYC....shofar so good.

wishiwasmerckx said...

A little Rosh Hashanah humor:

On the morning of Rosh Hashanah, Rivka went into the bedroom to wake her son and tell him it was time to get ready to go to the synagogue, to which he replied in a dull voice, 'I'm not going.'

'Why not?' Rivka demanded.

'l'll give you two good reasons Mother,' he said. 'One, they don't like me, and two, I don't like them.'

Rivaka replied in an exasperated voice, 'I'll give you two good reasons why you must go to the synagogue. 'One, you're 54 years old, and two, you're the Rabbi.'

Anonymous said...

I don't care about the Friday Quiz, I want to know why Wednesday's posts don't have "Wednesday" in the title no more?

Some sort of mid-life crisis?

Rush Hash Anna said...

You like mine Ram's Horn Hash Pipe? I call it the "Shofar so Good"

JohnR said...

A couple guys affiliated with the Malheur takeover were into blowing shofars, small world.

Schweebles Schwalbe said...

Doesn't matter what type of tires you are running my local bike shop will fix your punctured ones for a flat rate, of course that could change to account for inflation.

Unknown said...

That kid's e-bike is a waste of money. You could get them a dirt bike for less money that's probably light enough to put on the rack on the back of the car the bank owns.

https://www.yamahamotorsports.com/off-road/models/tt-r110e

Hans und Franz said...

N/A,
Don't worry, we're always here to pump up old jokes

James Barker said...

Former Grimsby Town striker Ross Hannah always made me think of Rosh Hashanah.

The London truck ban is a bit of a scam. Those older trucks would have been phased out because of the LEZ anyway.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/London_low_emission_zone
Khaaaan has just tacked onto this.

dancesonpedals said...

How is this for a movie outline.. Hans and Franz run out of light bulbs, and head to Home Depot, searching in dark aisles for a three-way. Hilarity Ensues.

JLRB said...

When it comes to commuting, bikes remain in last place

As the study seems to say, this is for regular mode of commuting, and does not pick up occasional commuters of the bike type.

N/A said...

Are occasional commuters of the bike type, "bike curious"?

Anonymous said...

Religion is the trans fat of the masses. Love it.

C3P0

Dooth said...

Put a premium rush on hash.

ken e. said...

i think it's pay it all back vol 3 that opens with the great arnie sample from pumping iron... might be vol 2, but so classic. i'm bike curious, like curious about where my leg muscles went every time i bicycle.

dop said...

That guy blowing the Shofar is standing in front of a METS logo. ..posted a day before they clinched. The Amazin's should hire that kid.

Anonymous said...

"Still, we're going to have to do a lot more than increase the number of bike lanes if we really want to increase cycling..."

Sure Snob, bike lanes aren't a panacea. Terrible drivers and bad traffic policing will still be an issue. But you gotta admit that better bike lanes would reduce to opportunities for terrible drivers to make cycling unsafe. And if cycling is less unsafe, more people will ride, no?

So bike lanes do increase cycling, no?

Presto said...

Hanz und Franz, you're right it's time those jokes were re-tired.

Over the Hillary said...

I think Snob switched to the skinnier tired because TRump fat tire shamed his old set up

JLRB said...

The Horror

Life imitates blog ...

My tweenage son came home from riding his bike from a friend's house and said "You know how you said that bike is getting to small for me? I found a great new bike - its electric!"

He had no understanding of why I felt the sky was falling. End result of the conversation - he thinks I am a dumb old man who can't get with the changing world.

If I bought him an ebike that would be the end of his ever wanting to pedal his own way - NOTGONNADOITWOULDNTBEPRUDENTANDSOFORTH

Cat 404 said...

OK, Leipheimer's Gran Fondo. Done and done.

I got a generous schwag bag at registration which included a packet of coconut oil(WTF!), a bag of oatmeal (wet, not just dry rolled) and a VEO!

It was a bit disappointing to discover mine wouldn't be Levi lime, making me look like Nosferatu from Planet Fruit Loop.

Instead, mine was black and made me look more like Frieda Khalo.

Anyways, look for me in the photo galleries - I'm the one wearing the beer jersey.

bad boy of the north said...

JLRB,you're absolutely correct...the horror.

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

Reading some of the posts relating to increased bike commuting...

My train commute has always been a bit too far for consistent commuting (40 mi). i did it periodically in the 90's and early aughts, but it was impractical to do habitually. My cycling experience has always been more recreational, than utilitarian. Fred loops, mountainbike trails, training rides, all for fun.

Now that my job has me in a situation where I can be in 2 or 3 different locations throughout the day, in either Manhattan, Brooklyn or Queens, I have treated myself to a little Dahon and using it for the bulk of my travels, interoffice, when practical for me. It's been a blast doing the little 20 - 30 min commutes between offices, skipping the subway and riding instead.
What I see , and fear, is a burgeoning bike anarchy. One of my more common rides takes me from W 79 to Penn station. Taking Columbus / 9th Ave exposes me to numerous salmon...electric, Citi Cat 6's, Morons on Dahons, some trips I have more riders coming at me than riding with me.

Attempts to take drivers out of their cars puts me in fear of formerly bad drivers now getting on bikes and becoming bad riders. This is more worrisome to me, as vehicular traffic, despite it innumerable faults, does tend to flow in a pridictable direction (most of the time). Changing formerly bad drivers into chaotic cyclists seems to be a plan for turning NY into one giant bike path with now random traffic coming from all directions.

I'm no shrinking violet, I've taken my chances and gotten my lums over the last 25 years. Without any disrespect to the fine dedicated upstanding cyclists writing and commenting on this blog, if we aren't careful, bicycle expansion could be causing our demise.

dnk said...

@Pathetic Old Cyclist,

I hear you. A few months ago I got my nose busted, my front wheel tacoed, and my break/gear cabling torn apart when a salmon hit me on First Ave (around 40/41st).

I was in the bikelane riding north. There was a Con-Ed truck and crew occupying the lane ahead of me --- I glanced over my shoulder for a sec to assess traffic coming my way --- and by the time I turned around I was on the ground bleeding profusely.

I never saw him coming. He was riding a CitiBike (not that that matters too much --- I sometimes ride CitiBike too)

Anonymous said...

dnk - don't look back

babble on said...

PoC - ok, but if that particular fucktard had been driving an SUV, you wouldn't be here to tell the tale. Plus, when you put a motorist on a bike for a while they tend to become more considerate drivers, even if they are Stoopid cyclists, so no matter how you slice it, more cyclists is a win for everyone.

The police did their anual commercial vehicle safey inspection blitz near the port city of Delta a couple of weeks ago, and as always, between 35 and 40% of vehicles failed. That might have something to do with why trucks take out such a disproportionate number of cyclists and pedestrians. And, of course, blind spots, too.

JLRB said...

STCK STND

McFly said...

Chickasaw Trace MTB Trail knows how to keep the bikes upright I tell ya that right now.

dancesonpedals said...

1) McFly-Your pictures aren't public (Maybe Mr. Imgur is in the gents with them faffing off)

2) Dutch Reach-I've been boring the shit out of my family, telling them to open the driver's-side door with their right hands. I was demonstrating the technique in Stew Leonard's parking lot Sunday, and it prevented a dust up. I was able see the cowboy flying into the space next to me before he belted my door. One of the few times being a pedantic a-hole and loving the sound of my voice actually helped.

Federico F. Fredriksen said...

Just saw that the News of Velo-ing has a FAQ with Freds worried about wheel imbalance. Thanks to the coverage you gave us about the inherent dangers of riding with an improperly balanced wheel and the increased likelihood of death and dismemberment associated with such activities, we now have multiple options for fighting this menace to civilized bikeen society. In addition to the already-mentioned system you presented to us, we now have something from the perfectly-named effete butterfly.

http://www.effettomariposa.eu/en/products/shelter-wheel-kit/
http://velonews.competitor.com/2016/10/bikes-and-tech/technical-faq-balancing-wheels-mismatched-brakes_422226

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

P.O.C said "Fred loops"

Somebody should invent an artificially colored/flavored breakfast cereal made up of little hoops like bicycle wheels called Fred Loops and every box could have the picture of a famous pro rider on the side...Oh never mind.

Cipo and Col. Sanders said...

"coconut oil(WTF!)" Scrantus lube, can also be used on internal moving human parts, for massage and for making popcorn.

Victor Kaminski said...

vsk said ...

P O C and D N K.

I am sadly (not Dutch) reaching around for reasons not to bike commute. Cloudy? Rained a little while ago but might rain ? Too tired? Too hyped?
The construction and the assholes are wearing thin. Now this fascisti Plantar left foot thing and chronic elbow pain are nagging.
Tommorrow definitely for sure!

vsk

Anonymous said...

Cat 404 @ 2:07,

Maybe the have brown ones. You could do yourself a Veo Sanchez.

Anonymous said...

Gas Management

McFly said...

I'm new at this.

N/A said...

Try it again, McFly.

Frickus Rungus said...

McFly - stop being such a tease...

BSNYC - In the immortal words or Roy Clark:
Where, oh where, are you tonight?
Why did you leave us here all alone?
I searched the world over and I thought I'd found a bike blog.
But you took a vacation and pthhp! We was sad.

Anonymous said...

"So far, so good", said the man who fell of the roof of a 20 story building as he passed the 5th floor.

McFly said...

Well shit. I changed my settings from private to pubic.

McFly said...

Try it again. I had to verify my verification verifiables.

Anonymous said...

McFly McFail

dancesonpedals said...

Maybe just say the hell with it and link to some porn

McFly said...

Last try. Dammit.

dnk said...

Alas McFly.... Here is what I see:

Welcome to mcfly211's profile!
Unfortunately, there's nothing to see here.