Thursday, April 14, 2016

Where Have You Been? I've Been Waiting Forever!

As you've no doubt noticed over on the right-hand side of this page, among my esteemed and generous sponsors is the Just Coffee Co-Op, curators of the world famous BSNYC/RTMS blend:


(Nutty and robust with just a hint of chain lube.)

Anyway, Just Coffee would let you know that all this month they're having a 30% off sale on pretty much all of their coffee!  Simply enter this coupon code when you place your order:

SPRING16

And then caffeinate yourself into a state of quaking, trembling delirium.

You're welcome.

In other news, in the bloody wake of "Rotorgate," the UCI has decided to PUT A STOP (oh my god that's hilarious) to the disc brake trial program:


The UCI’s efforts to introduce disc brakes to professional road racing took a hit Wednesday when Francisco Ventoso penned an open letter detailing a horrific injury he suffered in Paris-Roubaix, due to a disc brake rotor. After a day of intense scrutiny, the UCI announced Thursday it will halt its trial of discs in the pro road peloton.

“This decision follows a request to do so made by the Association Internationale des Groupes Cyclistes Professionnels (AIGCP) — which represents all professional cycling teams — following the injuries suffered by Movistar Team rider Francisco Ventoso at Sunday’s Paris-Roubaix Classic. This request is supported by the Cyclistes Professionnels AssociĆ©s (CPA), which represents riders,” the statement reads.

So just in case you're keeping track, no disc brakes anymore because of a single injury that may or may not have been caused by a rotor, but motorcycles will still be allowed to maim and kill riders unimpeded:


That makes sense.

And of course Eddy Merckx doesn't like discs, so there's that:


“They work for [consumers], but in racing I think they’re too dangerous in crashes,” Merckx said. “If you crash, the brake can be hot, and if you take it in a leg, you can slice a tendon. In mountain bikes and cyclocross, it’s OK. But in a peloton, with 200 riders, I think it’s dangerous.”

Wait, he's interested in rider safety all of a sudden?  This is the same Eddy Merckx who told riders to stop whining when their tires were exploding in the extreme heat at the Tour of Oman:

Merckx retorted that had the peloton been racing, the heat would not have been a concern.

“It was only 38 [100°F], that’s not so hot,” he said. “The problem was that the riders came down in a bunch and everyone was braking. If they would’ve been racing, coming down one by one, the problem wouldn’t have occurred.”

Ironically, had they been using disk brakes their rims would never have overheated in the first place, but presumably rider safety is second to promoting a bike race in a country with a dismal human rights record.


As a rim brake user I resent that Eddy Merckx has put me in the position of arguing for disc brakes.

By the way, while we're browsing the ironical department, a friend pointed this out to me:

"Bleeding" indeed.

Still, the bike manufacturers have too much invested in road discs at this point to let them fade like a rim brake on an Omani descent, so expect the UCI to allow them back and to mandate rotor guards by next season:



This would be perhaps the first instance of bike polo technology migrating to the pro peloton, unless you count the recent preponderance of beards:



Meanwhile, here in Canada's Neck Beard, it looks as though we may be bearing witness to the beginning of the end of the reign of the roadie:


Yes, the future of amateur road racing is bleak, partially because the cool people are participating in other disciplines, and the terminal weenies are defecting to gran fondos, Strava, and Zift:

"Our membership peaked in 2012 and our numbers have been down a bit since then. It does appear the fall is slowing, but we're down slightly year on year, driven mostly by road - cyclo-cross is up nicely, track is up, mountain bike is steady, but it's road where we're seeing the biggest drop - and it is our biggest segment. We believe that is because of the growth of alternative formats, gran fondos and recreational rides, Strava and Zwift. There are alternative formats to participate in cycling and they don't permit with us. Our retention is high, we're keeping people, but it's the number new people coming in [that has declined]. Newcomers to cycling are finding other formats to pursue like gran fondos or Strava and such."

And don't forget the allure of "gravel grinding:"

These apps, together with other semi-competitive events like gravel grinders - races that feature multiple sections of unpaved roads - and gran fondos - longer organised races where riders are individually timed - have all grown in popularity while road continues its slide.

In other words, USA Cycling is experiencing massive "Fred Drain," and as a result road racing is becoming the exclusive domain of the Masters racer:

There have also been shifts in the demographics of cycling, and the riders who came into the sport in the early Lance Armstrong era almost 20 years ago are getting older. "Our sport has a lot of masters racers, and we're seeing a bubble move through aging," says Bouchard-Hall. "There is also a general increase of risk aversion in society and that carries over to sports that carry greater risks like cycling."

Which is why road bikes now have front and rear decouplers and will soon come with a free AARP membership:


Hey, Trek can disguise this as a "Classics" bike all they want, but we all know an old guy bike when we see one.

Lastly, have you ever wished your backpack had more electronic features?  Of course you haven't.  Nevertheless, according to a press release I've received, somebody's gone ahead and designed a "smart backpack:"

Navigating the modern urban environment can be difficult. From contending with traffic when commuting, to the constant need to power-up devices on the go, moving around cities can become a perilous pain.

The traditional backpack - which hasn’t evolved in decades - does little to help solve these problems. Most offerings get zero for style points.

Enter PAIX. It’s a smart, Bluetooth-enabled backpack that offers a range of functions designed to make life easier in hectic modern environments.

Oh come on.

I tend to get a little behind on my emails so naturally I assumed this was an April Fools gag, but apparently it's all too real:

PAIX and the City from PAIX on Vimeo.

Tempting, but I think I'll wait for the "smart fannypack."



76 comments:

N/A said...

*looks at watch disdainfully*

Anonymous said...

PORT LAND

Anonymous said...

Podium?
If so, my best palmares ever!

dnk said...

Top triad?

Gecko said...

Top ten on a late post? Did I cut the course by accident? I was expecting to see a peloton here.

Kraig said...

Rim brakes for motorcycles, problem solved.

Spokey said...


well finally

at least i came back for top tendonitis

Anonymous said...

top ten scrotiumodium

Spokey said...


i had drum breaks on my '65 honda motor-sickle and they worked just fine.

Anonymous said...

now that I got top ten here, heading over to fredkiteprayer where stuck up roadies are still welcome and disc brakes are still seen as the savior.

Anonymous said...

Just made it, and watched the vids.

Victor Kaminski said...

vsk said ...

Pre Teen ...

vsk

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Dick Breaks, Fred Drains.
Good stuff. Never gets old.

Anonymous said...

Top ten?

wle said...

i complained bitterly about the smart backpack as well, in the gizmag comments..

i was very sarcastic, if i don;t mind saying so.

also about the 2 wheel drive road bike with a chain ring on the handlebars and a chest leaning pad

whoa.

another stinker.

wle

Anonymous said...

Ted K gave up, but I stuck it out. Something for my troubles like a discount on coffee?

Spokey said...


although 18++ for a pound of coffee beans seems pricey, i was going to try it. alas no k-cup version.

Grump said...

People are fleeing from riding in tight packs because.........well, they are in tight packs, and "woosies" do not like to ride in tight packs. Woosies like to ride with at least 6 feet between them and those "deadly" dick brakes..(they may be woosies, but they're not idiots)
PS. If you really want to show that you aren't a woosie, ride in tight packs, use "dick" brakes, AND ride on Spinergy Rev X wheels.



Anonymous said...

How hard can it be to put rounded edges on a disk brake?

Anonymous said...

USA Cycling's numbers peaked waaaaaay before 2012. 2012 was near the last year they made up new licenses and new ways to permit events. Mechanics? Yup they were a boost to license holders. Coaching clinics? New permitted events used to cover up the fact race permitting was declining.

I wish them a steady decline into irrelevance as you cannot kill USA Cycling. Ever. No matter what, they get revenue from USOC. Zombie is too nice a word.

I want to know why they are suddenly losing $1 million per year.

Anonymous said...

Grump,

You are forgetting a power meter, coaching, and lots of pure carbon.

Matt said...

So now I'm worried that I'm going to maim or kill someone when mountain biking with my rotors of doom! What if I just maim or kill an animal such as a deer or bull that jumps out in front of me...will the Humane Society get on my case? Can I be sued? I have to wonder when someone will finally kill themselves by cutting open their jugular vein or femoral artery in a solitary crash. But as someone else already pointed out, as long as I was braking hard before the crash it SHOULD cauterize the would as it cuts. This is all just too much pressure...I'm going back to canti's!

Anonymous said...

Matt,
You have to worry about bulls when you ride a bicycle?

I guess I'm not doing it right ..............

janinedm said...

Spokey, if you're using k-cups you're spending way more than 18 a pound already. Go to bed bath and beyond, get yourself a reusable k-cup filter and then all of the coffees are an option again.

hrc said...

I thought I deleted this

wishiwasmerckx said...

Kopi Luwak - Coffee made from beans harvested from BSNYC's poop.

No thanks, Just Coffee Co-op, I'll pass.

N/A said...

I like my coffee like I like my women: splashed across my lap as I peel-out of a McDonald's drive-thru.

Yosh Shmenge said...

No mention of the IKEA bikefiet?

https://momentummag.com/ikea-rolling-urban-bicycle-summer/

While I wait for your review, I'll go order some coffee to go with my cabbage rolls.

-The Happy Wanderer

Frickus Rungus said...

I think they could make dick breaks safe by putting a rubber cover over the outside edge. A company like continental could supply these "covers"... Then make them bigger so they spread force over a larger contact area in an accident. Maybe around 29" in diameter?
Something like this

Frickus Rungus said...

With a disk brake rotor cover you would have excellent pie plate symmetry!
Is anyone else worried about the potential for Canadian goose attacks?!?

Joe said...

So, the huge advancement in backpack technology is turning signals? Where's the license plate mount? I'll stick with my SmartHat (TM) thankyouverymuch

Anonymous said...

Backpacks haven't evolved in decades because they are perfect, like sharks and crocodiles.

N/A said...

Backpacks are for chumps! If I want to portage something, I'll hire a sherpa, as Lob intended.

Evil Genius said...

What if cutting edge, disk brake technology falls into the hands of terrorists?

Frickus Rungus said...

Ahhh yes, the highly evolved shark backpack

brakel8 said...

What about the "other" discs on the bike? Ya know, the ones resembling a circular saw blade with a serrated edge that drives a chain? Are they going to do away with those too?

JLRB said...

"We believe that is because of the growth of alternative formats, gran fondos and recreational rides, Strava and Zwift. There are alternative formats to participate in cycling and they don't permit with us"

Watch out for USA Cycling - with racer numbers declining they may start pushing for legislation requiring permitting for utilitarian cyclists

... queuing up for random pee test at the office ...

Spokey said...


janinedm

not really. i am paying more. just calculated it at 20.60/pound (i do have to jump on sales to get that). but for that i essentially get someone to make it for me and clean up afterwards. i'd be willing to pay a whole 21 / lb of snobbie coffee if he comes over and makes it and cleans up afterwards. oh what the hell. he can even send over his dead helper monkey to do it.

Give Me A Brake said...

Overheated rotors cauterizing wounds? Is that fact or friction?


Spokey said...


oh and if i was ambitious enough to clean a resuable cup, the machine i bought came with one. it's still in its plastic wrap.

Mark S. Lafite said...

RIP, VITO.

Focus503 said...

I also shave my legs but not my face, what am I doing with my life?

Anonymous said...

DSCBRKS
MKTGGNIUS
MKSINARD
GOTTABIG#$%

BSA said...

my boy scout backpack hasn't evolved and it still hold the things I need to portage

janinedm said...

Spokey, a Native American is crying a single tear right now.

bieks said...

Roadies rocking/palping/rubbing beards. Just another indication that we've reached peak beard and beards are no longer fashunubul.

Nice - apparently I can't identify CARS for the captcha.

Anonymous said...

Danger! The combined efforts of UCI and Eddy Merckx have produced a rapid grammatical deterioration.

All of a sudden it's not 'dick breaks' anymore but 'road discs' or something equally illiterate.

We need to put, er, a stop to that. A well-modulated one, without skidding.

DB said...

Talked with the Guys at Ben's Cyclery today to see when delivery date is.
The frame is at Lockheed Martin getting painted Stealth Matte Black and should be done tomorrow.
Then it goes to Raytheon for weapons installation Monday.

Anonymous said...

Disc brakes offer far superior stopping power to rim brakes. end of story. unless you are racing in a peloton you should be riding disc brakes. It doesn't mean you have to go out immediately and buy a new bike but when you do, it should be equipped with disc brakes. Unless of course you're one of those people who are into keeping it real with inferior antiquated technology.

DB said...

Oh, and hrc, 2:33 for COD.
Heard you were at the Carnagie Deli yesterday.

BamaPhred said...

Well, better late than never.
Dic Breaks are for woosies
I palp Ben Hur thru axles

Anonymous said...

Anonymous @ 4:24

I'm really glad you told me I didn't have to immediately go out and replace my bikes. What a relief!

Beans for Breakfast Lunch and Dinner said...

"we're seeing a bubble move through aging". It's called flatulence.

A Cup Full said...

If Devon's sweet lips are on the bag I might invest in some.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 4:24pm,

That's a silly thing to say. Bikes weigh a fraction of what cars and motorcycles weigh and don't travel nearly as fast. There are plenty of situations and types of riding where the simplicity of a rim brake is way more valuable than the "superior" stopping power of the disc.

Spurious goring stories aside, why shouldn't the peloton be on disc brakes? They're riding carbon fiber rims doing double duty as a braking surface. Makes sense for them to move that braking surface to a rotor so they can focus on wringing all the performance possible out of the rim.

As for the rest of us schmucks, our aluminum rims make for reliable braking. So why would I want to deal with a more complex braking system when my current one is both reliable and effective? That far outweighs the "superior" performance I don't really need.

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against road disc brakes. I've used them, they feel very nice. Being a bike weenie I don't doubt one day when they stop dicking around with spacing and axle types and things become more standardized I might one day have a dick break road bike myself. But the "disk brakes are better end of story" is simply not true when you look at the whole package.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

DB said...

Wildcat:
Did you get the "free" Milwaukee tshirt?

wishiwasmerckx said...

Scientifically speaking, the ONLY circumstance under which disc brakes deliver meaningfully superior braking performance is under wet road conditions.

I live in the desert where it rains seldom, and I do not generally ride in the rain anyways because I am adverse to crashing, and it is like 50x easier to crash on wet roads than on dry ones.

Besides, after riding in the rain you have to do a considerable amount of bike cleaning and maintenance, you have to try to get the black road grime out of your cycling clothes, you have to stuff your sidis with newspaper to dry them out, and on and on...who needs all that, and thus who needs disc brakes?

bad boy of cny said...

Janinedm,
I remember that ad well,weird fact(?).the actor who portrayed the indian wasn't native american,

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

Then there's this....

Cops lie lucky Cyclist doesn't die

P. Bateman said...

- that crash video is moderately terrifying. geezus those guys go fast.

-i'm certain everyone behind you in their car will definitely see your little backpaix blinker, so no more worries!

i hope it can be programmed to say: Hi, my name is insufferable techno-douche

P. Bateman said...

also, finally more food offerings on BSNYC.

where are tasting notes and reviews archived? i'd like to compare blends.

also, what pressure you pushing your French press at? like 30 atmospheres or what?

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

Wow, a fart smackpack. Bluetooth really can make everything better.

Tim Joe Comstock said...

Hey! I just found out it is the year 2016. How is this possible? BTW, do I have to read the post first to comment here? That would really mess up the flow of my commentary. Comment-ery. Comments making. Well, you know what I mean. Also, is Merckx a real word? I relly want to understand all this...

dancesonpedals said...

Trump is a maggot.

ken e. said...

like a 'weird tales' giant maggot hiding in human skin? might explain the colours.

Anonymous said...

"Disc brakes offer far superior stopping power to rim brakes....Unless of course you're one of those people who are into keeping it real with inferior antiquated technology."

Brakes do not stop wheeled vehicles, the traction between the road surface and the tire stops the vehicle.

Rim brakes work just as well now as they did before disk brakes were developed.

"Scientifically speaking, the ONLY circumstance under which disc brakes deliver meaningfully superior braking performance is under wet road conditions"

I do not have experience with bicycle disk brakes yet, but this sounds correct.

Roille Figners said...

At least there's no goddamned motherfucking shitty coward-ass ninjas in today's post.

P. Bateman said...

ninja please

sideshowglen said...

If someone had their leg sliced open by a chainring, would the peloton go belt drive?

Freddy Murcks said...

I like my backpacks stupid, thank you very much.

bieks said...

My mechanical dick breaks suck. Stick with rim breaks or get high draw lick dick breaks.

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

So the Dick Break is superior to the rim brake in rain. Makes sense. But Anonymous @ 10:17 says the tire friction does the stopping. That makes sense too. So in the rain the limiting factor is still going to be the fredly 23, 25 or 28 mm wide tire on his fred sled. Seems like most freds will do better with their wet rim brakes - or is the Dick Break so superior in providing feel and modulation to enable the average fred to avoid lockup? I don't know, that's why I'm asking.

Anonymous said...

Some non-thru axle road bikes with Dick Breaks experience lot of fork/wheel of flex when braking, so much you can see the wheel twisting the carbon fork blades.

On the rear break, some mechanical calipers will get in the way of your heels if you have size 10US or larger feet. Thump, thump, thump. Set that Q-factor W I D E ...

I think we're headed to Boost spacing and 73mm bbs for the road, along with 14 speed cassettes and single chainrings.

Was it great comedian Pauly Shore that said, "You know you waaaahhhhhnnnt it..."?



Anonymous said...

If road bikes went single chainring with clutch derailleur, the chances of chainring impalement in the peloton would decrease dramatically, saving thousands of hours in professional cyclist down-time.

If road bikes used belt drive, and the belt snapped under load and sent shards into someone's body, we would need to switch to internal shaft drive.

Internal shaft drives are one of my favourite things.

It Came From Canada said...

I heard that Babs is a big fan of the internal shaft drive too.

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