Friday, April 15, 2016

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!

Here's something to get you angry this morning:


When the police report arrived, Cunningham was surprised and angered to read what he claims is a false account of the incident intended to shift the blame away from the officers and onto him. The report alleges that the driver of the NYPD vehicle "was making a legal right turn with emergency lights when cyclist struck right side of vehicle." In the security video, no emergency lights are visible when Cunningham was struck.

Another day, another cop driving into the people they're supposed to be protecting and lying about it.  If the NYPD were a restaurant the waiters would ladle scalding hot soup in your crotch and then charge you a corking fee for the privilege.

It's almost as ironic as when we were named "The Top U.S. Cycling City" by a certain magazine.

But lest you begin your weekend in a huff, here's a soothing balm that will melt your anger away, via longtime reader Thomas in Sweden:


That pedal-powered roller skate car fills me with glee.

If we could replace the entire NYPD vehicle fleet with these we might finally get close to something resembling Vision Zero.

And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right you'll be accepted into an Ivy League university and become a member of the 1%, and if you're wrong you'll join the permanent underclass and also see something that will make you wince.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and happy rollerskating.


--Wildcat Rock Machine





1) According to a recent article about Canadian triathlete Julie Miller, what is "triathlon's worst possible transgression"?

--Cheating by doping
--Cheating by cutting the course
--Diarrhea during the swim leg
--Those skinsuits





2) What did "Bicycling" have to say about the new Speedvagen OG1?

--"It’s as if the world’s best-tasting ice-cream cone were made from steel."
--"It is a ferrous artisan, expertly carving corners like Henry Moore laying into a hunk of obsidian."
--"The bike transmits the power from your pedal stroke with an almost steampunk efficiency and grace, like you're sending an exquisite letter through one of those pneumatic tube systems."
--"The ride is soothing yet invigorating, as if you just sat in a sitz bath filled with warm club soda."






3) What is mullet-lifting speed?

--37.1km/h
--The speed at which a flaxen Euro-mullet levitates to reveal the nape of the neck
--Part of the melange of sensations that comprises "Undistracted Pleasure"
--All of the above







4) In an open letter regarding his goring at Paris-Roubaix, Fran Ventoso said of disc brakes:

--"They can cut, they can become giant knives"
--"They make us a peloton of Shylocks, for if you slice us with rotors do we not bleed?"
--"The first cut is the deepest, baby, I know/The first cut is the deepest/But when it comes to being lucky, he's cursed/When it comes to lovin' me, he's worse"
--"While we do wear helmets, our jerseys and shorts offer little protection, and it's only a matter of time before someone loses his penis."






5) What is this?

--A removable fairing
--A new bike locking system
--An indestructable racing bike made of foam
--A blankie to prevent boo-boos




6) The "Sladda" is the new bike from:

--PUBLIC
--Budnitz
--Starbucks
--Ikea






7) Which is not a reason USA Cycling president Derek Bouchard-Hall gives for the declining popularity of amateur road racing?

--Competition from Strava
--Competition from gravel grinding
--Competition from Zwift
--Cat 5s demanding cash prizes instead of medals


***Special Recumbent-Themed Bonus Video!***



Honestly, who hasn't bolted at the sight of an oncoming recumbent?

75 comments:

Anonymous said...

woo hoo hoo

O'4fuxake said...

Dose.

Anonymous said...

Top turd

Anonymous said...

Oily doors

Anonymous said...

Where is everybody?

Guess I'll go take the quiz now.

PAUL said...

Top something!

Anonymous said...

Frank Zappa don't biek!!!

Mr. Lund said...

Top ten?

ermmurray said...

Bottom 50

Anonymous said...

nice and early

N/A said...

Oh, sure, look who is all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed on a Friday. Blog post done, time for a ride then a artisanally-crafted beer for lunch, right?

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Early doors from the Left Coast. Scranus!

Spokey said...

dang

late for the test.

well baker's dozen

BamaPhred said...

I always like the wrong answers the best.

McFly said...

Hey Whatever Lifts Your Mullett I always say.

Spokey said...


is a 57 passing or failing?

Spokey said...


i'm only asking for a friend

Andy said...

18?

Roille Figners said...

Dicks-neuvieme?

JLRB said...

Cringe? Eventually. First it was smirk, then laughter, then cringe as the laid out Fred got run over and then body slammed.

Gotta love the announcer steadily announcing the winner and paying no attention tot he carnage.

Reason number 57 why I don't race.

Some guy from upstate said...

How can an animal that formed the backbone of military-industrial-transportation infrastructure for thousands of years be so freaked out by a bicycle, even a recumbent? Charge into this formation of yelling dudes with densely-packed shields and pointy things poking out? No problem. A bike? eek! If the Saxons had a few recumbents strategically scattered around Hastings we wouldn't have to call meat from cows beef and other confusing stuff.

And what's with dogs? Why is every bicycle a dire threat, and cars no concern whatsoever? Dogs killed by cars: like, half of them. Dogs killed by cars: like, none, even when they run out into the pro peloton.

Its like animals are totally irrational.

BamaPhred said...

Hence the phrase "run over their own grandmother for a mid pack finish" This was cringeworthy, but the guy trying to butt crack bunny hop the marshal laying in the road is burned into my eyes balls.

Roille Figners said...

NYPD are rather like ninjas. You don't see them coming, they get you in a dishonorable way, and they always cover their tracks.

Grump said...

Horses are really dumb...........and so are recumbents.

Fuggetabout U (well "Fuck You" actually) said...

NYC may be the #1 bicycle accommodating city in the U.S. due to the absolute miles of protected lanes, largest bike share program, and especially the huge number of mass transit options which carry bikes; but since when has NYC had a reputation for being friendliest about anything, maybe not as FU as Chicago but pretty close.

dancesonpedals said...

They got some attitudes in Philly.

P. Bateman said...

i like the little pedull car thing very much!
-you can do donuts
-it has a clamshell body like some awesome race car
-apparently has a sturdy suspension so you could potentially bang in the front seat
-it looks just adorable

pussy wagen if i've ever seen one.

may god have mercy on that one poor guy's back in that crash. geezus he took a pounding.

happy friday you ninjas. ride safe.

Joe said...

Am I crazy or does the Ikea bike look pretty good for a department store/designer collabo? It's practical frame design (just ignore the top tube/seat tube coupling) with belt drive and fenders and a normal looking front basket. Seriously, I think they deserve credit for just trying to make a bicycle and not "redesigning" it or whatever. Anybody else remember the godawful Puma bikes.

wishiwasmerckx said...

It's a dollar to see it, and two dollars to touch it.

wishiwasmerckx said...

...my bike, that is...

P. Bateman said...

first smart back backs, now smart beds....

you'd have to be an idiot to do it in your own home.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/04/15/smart-mattress-lets-you-know-if-your-partner-is-cheating/

Dorothy Rabinowitz said...

Any bike that supports the profound depth of my crotch is a puma bike.

Some guy from upstate said...

yeah, I meant dogs killed by bikes: like, none, etc. My proofreader has been sacked.

leroy said...

Emergency lights flashing while turning into the Lowe's parking lot? Must have been a really bad clean up in the plumbing fixtures aisle.

Ride safely all. (You too NYPD in unmarked cars going shopping.)

Gideon said...

*Insert something pithy*

-Nada Robot

Grant The Ninga said...

Now stocking razor discs, sharpened chainrings, and machete bladed thru axles down at the Pro, Peloton, and Gore.

Sheep_Shagger said...

I heard someone saw a cougar, no kidding, not far from here. So I got on my bike and sprinted, as best I could over there. All I saw was a bunch of women in yoga pants out for a walk. Those darn kids!

JuanOffhue said...

If I owned one of those little Swedish skatemobiles, I would continually be opening up the back to put parcels in just so I tell bystanders that I was putting things in the boot.

McFly said...

The Redhands Classic.

A Few Observations on the Wince Crash Vid said...

A Few Observations on the Wince Crash Vid

1. Seemed to be cause by the orange kit rider losing rear wheel traction on a manhole cover.

2. Rider 2 in the crash line was doing really well (got hands off the bars and out in front, landed on shoulder, and rolls and slides, etc.) Then 3 (count them 3) following riders run in to and over him.

3. Next vid Youtube puts up is same crash, different camera angle.

Paul Bowen said...

Horses are legit terrified of recumbents, seen two examples of the phenomenon, and on one of those occasions the cyclist was lucky not to be badly hurt, had steel shoes landing all around him, and so was the horse rider. Apparently movement below their eyeline shits them up. Or they think it's a cucumber, or something.

Spokey said...


after trying to ride an old Ryan for about a month, recumbents scare the shit out of me too. 'specially trying to start going even a little uphill on gravel. no it wasn't a gravel 'bent. i almost died.

The Ho(rse) Whisperer said...

Low things skating along close to the ground usually represent something a horse traditionally doesn't really want to deal with, such as wolves, wild boars, angry rams and so on. The horse's chief advantage is speed and long legs, so naturally they "turn tail" as the expression goes and get ready to kick you and/or run away.

P. Bateman said...

how many hands is that horse running?

by the way, still no answers on the right amount of osmotic pressure to run the french press when brewing Snob brand coffee flavors?

dancesonpedals said...

I have occasionally seen bent riders descend grades that are more than 10% as I ride up past ascending. The look in their eyes does not communicate that they are having fun.

BamaPhred said...

I saw some equestrians out for a clip clop in the neigh---bor ---hood.
Full horse-fred kit. Not western, but the full fred with helmets, bloused pants, riding boots, etc.
0 fucks given by the horses or riders.
I, however, nearly fell off my bike from shock.

The Million Dollar Question said...

A Quiz with no mention of Devon. What kind of quiz is this anyway?

Winky said...

I fuckin' hate horses. Stupidly large of head, skinny of leg and fat of body. I just don't find them attractive in any way. They also seem mind-numbingly stupid and paranoid, in-spite of the their ridiculous size.

Victor Kaminski said...

vsk said ...

Not that I seem to be into any kind of exercise lately, or earlyly, but I wonder if the Prospect Park Loop is all repaved?

There's horsies putzing around in Prospect Park with people on their backs. I don't recall any cycle / horseplay though.

vsk

bad boy of the north said...

horses off courses.

crosspalms said...

PodRide! What a lovely gizmo, I hope he makes a success of it. Looks like fun.

Frickus Rungus said...

There is one of these cars in my neighborhood. Makes me smile each time it scoots by..

P. Bateman said...

I was at a bar last week and a horse walked in

the bartendress said "why the long face?"

the horse said: "because my alcoholism is destroying my family"

was a pretty sad story.

horses_for_courses said...

Yeah, been much closer to a horse freaking out then the posted video. The horse missed kicking a biek rider and instead smashed a car's quarter panel. Pretty loud too.

Person on horse just kept the horse moving down the road. Hit and run of the 1%ers kind.

DB said...

Sorry I'm Late!
Spent the morning at the IRS. My Dad died in December and they wanted proof he was dead. I guess tax return fraud is a large problem.
Drove two hours to the nearest office with official forms and his ashes.
Case closed!
Have a good weekend everyone.

wishiwasmerckx said...

I used to have a pony.

I took her to the vet because she had a sore throat, but the vet said she was just a little horse.

She was a little promiscuous, the little whorse.

Owning her was a night-mare.

She had a negative attitude. She always said neigh.

She had great balance, though. You might even say she was stable.

The Little Pirate could get Littler said...

"It's only a matter of time before someone loses his penis"

At the Nudist Tour de Ptown (Providencetown MA) it could really happen.

dancesonpedals said...

That's the spirit DB.

Sorry about your dad. How would he feel about entering the Hudson? (America's River)

DB said...

DOP: thanks. If the NYCSwim club has the Liberty Island swim again, I'm bringing him along.
Otherwise, he's Mississippi River bound.

bieks said...

Thanks for the confirmation that it's not just me. I know exactly how those horses feel. . Damn recumbents creep me out.

jodphoto said...

Horses don't like bikes

Spokey said...


horses hatin' on bieks is just tradition.

they don't refer to dino eater's horse power for nuttin!

or

maybe you've heard of certain model car refered to as a pony?

Mane Event said...

It's not hard to tighten a saddle, infact it's a cinch.

Stirrup Some Trouble said...

If you plan on riding your horse in bad weather, make sure to bring your rein gear.

Mr Ed said...

Horses don't like having things in their mouths. No, not one bit.

Dave said...

I remember the first time I saw a short wheelbase recumbent, with the chainwheel right out front. I said, what genius designed this hideous death-dealing machine? The guy who made those putrid Saw movies?

But now that I've ridden one for seven or eight years, my attitude is all like - hey - there might be blood - you might get your femoral artery slashed, who knows? Them's the breaks. No criminality suspected. Diplomatic/recumbent immunity.

Anonymous said...

LANTERN ROUGE...

Spokey said...


holy horsey

i check in to read the latest crap and the place is clean. i guess the four horseys of the alpaca-lips musta came and went.

DB said...

First epic ride of the year. New bike not here yet. Rode the 2008 Madone. Put air in the tires, didn't check anything else from last ride in November. No problems.
Not a bad bike.

William Randolph Hearst said...

Only 69 comments and we're well within 24 hours of the next addition of the Snobville Police Gazette. The Al Gore invention has been ridden into the ground, paper will be back in no time I tell you. Paper editions of the Snobville Police Gazette will be delivered to your door in unmarked brown wrapping paper.

William Randolph Horse said...


knights who say neigh

Mr Ed said...

Wilbur

JLRB said...

SALAD DAYS

Thad White said...

Go Thomas in Sweden. Good stuff.

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