Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Fight For Your Right To Know Your Rights




To be perfectly honest, when I woke up this morning and read the horrible news from Brussels the Spring Classics were pretty much the last thing on my mind, but of course those who build their lives around these races now have to face the difficult question of how to proceed:


“For the moment, Dwars door Vlaanderen will take place tomorrow, despite the terrorist attacks that took place in Brussels on Tuesday morning,” the statement reads. “The organizers mourn with the victims of these terrible acts. More information in due time.”

The organizer said it will wait until Wednesday to make a final decision. The race director told NOS if the threat is still at level four, its one-day race will not go ahead as planned.

I suspect people there will find comfort in the racing going on as planned, so for their sake I hope it does and that it all goes smoothly.  (Not literally smoothly; it is the Classics after all so I hope it's wet and bumpy.)

Anyway, in the wake of tragedy one searches for both inspiration and escape, and one can find both in this video of a BMX rider standing up for his rights:



Wow.  That's so good you'd be forgiven for thinking it's scripted, but the fact is he's simply had a lot of practice due to constant harassment, and his delivery was less somewhat polished two (2) years ago:


Incidentally, the person who alerted me to the first video felt the BMXer went too far with the cop but I tend to disagree, because by now he must feel like he's living in "Groundhog Day."


Also, the cop totally deserved everything he got after that sorry Facebook line.

In other news, via a reader, if you laugh at this headline you'll feel guilty once you've read the article:



Police said the lead rider in the group of nine dodged the carcass but other cyclists clipped it, then hit an oncoming vehicle.

A man, reportedly in his 50s, was freed from beneath the vehicle.

He was flown to Melbourne's Alfred Hospital where he remains in a critical but stable condition.

The narrative arc of this particular piece of clickbait is, "Ha ha kangaroos, etc.  Wait, he was airlifted to the hospital?  Oh my god that's fucking awful!"

Even worse is that once in Melboure he was fined for not wearing the helmet paramedics had removed during the chopper ride.

Anyway, my thoughts are very much with the rider in critical condition, but not at all with the ride leader, who apparently failed to point out the fucking kangaroo carcass.

I mean seriously, you don't at least give a "Kangaroo up!" or something like that?  Or is it normal in Australia to expect the riders behind you to bunnyhop a kangaroo carcass?

Meanwhile, remember I mentioned a new theft-proofing system called Hexlox?  Well, their Kickstarter is now live:



I still think it's a clever idea, though a commenter did point out that there's already a similar product from Pitlock:


I see they're both in Germany too, so happy suing everybody!

Speaking of Germany, the Berliner Fahrradschau took place last week, and once again Specialized managed to piss a bunch of people off:


Specialized has become the latest bike company to be accused of sexism after it launched a limited edition “Playboy” version of its Turbo S e-bike at the Berlin Bike Show last week, complete with models dressed in Playboy bunny outifts.

The bike, which will only be available in Germany, is limited to 40 units and is “the result of a collaboration between two premium brands with an elegant black-gold finish with exclusive Playboy ornamental elements.”

Okay.  Firstly, what were they thinking?

Secondly, how the hell do you market an e-bike and not use Femke?!?


("I can't believe they didn't hire me!")

Most importantly, what kind of Überdouche rides a Playboy-branded e-bike?  That Dos Eqis "Stay Thirsty" guy?  Donald Trump?

In any case, this being the ultimate middle-aged businessman bike, I hope it comes equipped with a full bolt-locking system because it's going to be spending a lot of time parked in the red light district.


95 comments:

N/A said...

Good morning, peeps.

N/A said...

I wonder if the kangaroo carcass was fined for not wearing a helment?

McFly said...

No Ted K. Classy.

Anonymous said...

Random Top 10

Not a robot

Ted K. said...

133. No social arrangements, whether laws, institutions, customs or ethical codes, can provide permanent protection against technology. History shows that all social arrangements are transitory; they all change or break down eventually. But technological advances are permanent within the context of a given civilization. Suppose for example that it were possible to arrive at some social arrangements that would prevent genetic engineering from being applied to human beings, or prevent it from being applied in such a way as to threaten freedom and dignity. Still, the technology would remain waiting. Sooner or later the social arrangement would break down. Probably sooner, given the pace of change in our society. Then genetic engineering would begin to invade our sphere of freedom, and this invasion would be irreversible (short of a breakdown of technological civilization itself). Any illusions about achieving anything permanent through social arrangements should be dispelled by what is currently happening with environmental legislation. A few years ago its seemed that there were secure legal barriers preventing at least SOME of the worst forms of environmental degradation. A change in the political wind, and those barriers begin to crumble.

N/A said...

Not that I give a hoot about a bikecycle race on the other side of the planet from me, but I do hope that they are able to safely make it happen. The a-holes that do this bombing want publicity and they want people to be afraid of them and cower behind closed doors. They should not get what they want.

RaphaRules said...

Top 10
Eurosport Chyron

Bryan Bracy said...

IN under 10.

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Top Tennis, Scranus!

McFly said...

I stand corrected.

Roille Figners said...

Je suis en les dicks premiers.

janinedm said...

I was I could have stayed as calm as this guy last night. I was in the 6th Ave bike lane around 39th street when a taxi decided he wanted to be in that bike lane too and squeezed me into the parked cars. I asked him what he was doing and he said he he could pull in in front of me because it was a sharrow. I informed him, that with the solid line on the edge of the lane it was not a sharrow. There began a scene where I yelled what the different lane markings mean while he repeated that he was correct and that it was a sharrow. So i took petty revenge. i stopped my bike in front of his taxi in the bike lane, and informed him that he wanted to drive where he wasn't supposed to, I was going to do what i wasn't supposed to and block him from taking fares. Then i realized this form of revenge traps me too. Anyway, just as i was starting off, i saw a cop in a golf cart and I went over to ask him to explain to the taxi driver that not every bike lane is not a sharrow and that at the very least the do not cross solid lines rule holds and while I was talking to the cop HE LOOKS OVER AT THE TAXI DRIVER AND GIVES HIM A THUMBS UP! And they wonder why we like fire fighters better.

Ted Sux said...

Ted K and Belgium terrorists are both sadistic terrorist bombers who want publicity and they want people to be afraid of them and cower behind closed doors.

BikeShopOwner 10 said...

That system from Pitlock involves HAMMERING in that plug into the Bolt and the extractor is universal.

Anonymous said...

I backed the Hexlox product yesterday and love the way it looks. Am not hammering
anything into my new bike. Especially not a plug for 10€, then I can also use
ballbearings and glue.

bad boy of the north said...

so....the lessons for today.....who are these uni(n)formed assholes and who is this tax(i)hole?

bad boy of the north said...

it's time for eye for an eye,tooth for a tooth.

Old timer said...

PODIUM!

Well...

DB said...

Cops have golf carts in NYC?

Anonymous said...

Robs Fords kicked the bucket today.

http://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2016/03/22/rob-ford-former-toronto-mayor-dead-after-battle-with-cancer.html

DB said...

RIP Robs Fords.
46 years old.

janinedm said...

@DB yup http://imgur.com/sDJmnQW

Knock_on_any_door said...

That hexlock project doubled their goal. Hopefully it works.

Rob Fords dead? How did the saying go? Live fast die young and leave a good looking corpse.

Two outta three ain't bad.

Freddy Murcks said...

Man. Looks at the heels those PB Bunny models are wearing. Poor girls. Silly Special Ed, his is how the Germans do a bunny party.

Wot da HELL iz dat? said...

"Silly Special Ed, his is how the Germans do a bunny party."

Big change in that vid at the 3 minute mark. (Listening at work with no sound, so maybe the soundtrack give a hint of what is coming up...)

McFly said...

All you need is a ball driver style allen wrench. You put a cheater bar on the short end with the ball in the allen socket and crank down way past recommended torque setting and BOOM the ball breaks off in there.

You're welcome.

Freddy Murcks said...

Wot da HELL iz dat? - I recommend listening with the sound on. It's one of the most unintentionally funny things I have ever seen/heard. And the song gives no clue to action in the video. It's a big German non-sequitur.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Scranus.

mikeweb said...

RIP Robs Fords.

Hopefully he makes it into heaven so Sheldon Brown can kick his ass.

N/A said...

CJ once dated a big German non-sequitur.

Grump said...

If you elect me to Fuhrer, I promise to build a 45,000 foot wall completely around the blessed United States. This wall will also be dug 5 miles deep, and be 1 mile thick. I will also make god (or the deity of your choice) pay for it.
This blessed wall will protect me-------I mean you, from all the people who want to hurt me---I mean you, for all the nasty things I say about them.

PS. Free Hexlocks for everyone.

Au Revoir said...

Marion Barry and Rob Ford, united at last.

Donald J Trump said...

Too bad about Brussels. I really like their sprouts.

Very Slim Pickins said...

Janine at 1020: F Wall Street Hill, JANINE FOR PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!!!!!!

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Grump can your wall have a cycle path all along the top of it? That'd be swell.

Very Slim Pickins said...

A Babble signature is "Good morning, peeps." but she's posting under a strange undercover name at the top of the greasy pole.

Anonymous said...

Robs Fords had gone quiet. D.E.D. Dead Quiet.

The Great Wall of Trump - Built for Free said...

Grump@1238: Supervisor of wall construction to an employee building the wall: "That'll Keep Them Out" Employee: "Sí"

N/A said...

I am not the delightful Ms. Babble On. I often say "good morning" in the AM, it's one of my charming little quirks.

Freddy Murcks said...

RCT - Since Grump's wall is going to be 45,000 feet high, it'd be a great place to do some altitude training. Of course, when pro cyclists say that they are going to do some "altitude training," they really mean that they are going to spend some time isolated from the prying eyes of the UCI so that they can safely extract some blood for use later in the season. Ordinary Freds have neither the need nor the resources for altitude training.

N/A said...

I DON'T SAY SHIT IN THE PM, THOUGH, AND YOU CAN'T MAKE ME.

Very Slim Pickins said...

N/A It's the "peeps" part that reminds me of Babble's legs.

N/A said...

I think we would all like to peep at Babble's legs. Good call on that one.

wle said...

first picture on the globey bike - FLOYD THE BARBER!

wle

Flood Robertson said...

nothing about Rob?

NourskSiklist said...

I AM THE LAW! Judge Dredd is a great fictional character, and part of his appeal is that he parodies this kind of behaviour. Wayull, if you're a dick in the first place, then being armed and uniformed allows unrestricted bullying and fuckery. Well done by BMX Guy, though he got a bit screechy. It takes a Specialized sort of anachronistic chauvinist frat boi, to think that the Playboy e-biek was a great idea. Must have been channeling Don Draper at the time. Crap like that was awkward even 25 years ago. Also, Ted fucking K., I put up with that shit until now, but with the evil acts in Brussels today, I do hereby request this weblog's owner to exercise his administrator rights, and block these spoutings from a convicted terrorist's demented "manifest". Please, Bike Snob.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Well I'm off to kickstarter to launch my latest gift of genius to the fred's of downunder. I think I'll call it the "Roo-catcher" (think old timey steam train engine)or perhaps MDD (Marsupial Deflection Device). Inspiration already gleaned from that extra low hanging front fender on your latest book cover provides a suitable mounting point. Well after some adding a little structural rigidity in the form of carbon fibre of course.

Alex_Anorexia said...

Why y'all be hatin' on the Bunnies? They look like they need a couple cheeseburgers. Of course, they could probably kick half the pro peleton's asses, at least. Speaking of heels, they had on footwear? Who knew?

Roille Figners said...

Regardless of whatever else is true of Playboy-type bunnies, they are, above all else, reproductively fit. That's the image that was (probably un-)intentionally cultivated.

Not like those two emaciated beanpoles.

Very Slim Pickins said...

Those Bunnies are wearing heels higher than the ones Babble rides in.

BamaPhred said...

There's some Dr Strangelove channeling going on today:
"Regrettably, yes. But it is, you know, a sacrifice required for the future of the human race. I hasten to add that since each man will be required to do prodigious...service along these lines, the women will have to be selected for their sexual characteristics which will have to be of a highly stimulating nature."
Must be eschatological thinking. Or the other kind of scat. It's so hard to tell sometimes

Matt said...

Wait....I can get a law degree on Facebook?

janinedm said...

I had a realization, the Play Boy e-bike is genius. Because what happens if you talk to your doctor and he tells you you're not, in fact, healthy enough for sex. Well there's this.

leroy said...

You know, I really like my Specialized bike, but it is getting harder and harder to like the Specialized brand. Just sayin'.

(And I second MikeWebb's observation re the former Mayor of Toronto.)

Name said...

Where I live, that BMX would be taken to a discreet location and beat to shit or even wacked. Here you just don't talk back to police like that.

leroy said...

Dear Ms. janinedm --

My dog thought your 2:52 PM comment was interesting, but wondered if your thesis encompassed personality disorders that may also make someone not, in fact, healthy enough for sex.

Well of course I don't understand what he means, but he assures me that I needn't be concerned because personality disorders presuppose a personality to be disordered.

I think he got his MD from Facebook.

P. Bateman said...

I don't really want a playboy bike, but i have no issue with the gals in the outfits.

Spokey said...


but has anyone actually had their bolts (or nuts) stolen?

i carry a couple spare but only because i assume that if i am fuck-o'ing around, i'll probably lose at least one. a number of years ago i bought several bags of nice stainless steel hardware. mostly m5 a few m6. i think they were 4-5 merican fun coupons for each bag of 50 or 100 or something. have all the ones i need for life now.

and yet no one will steal my nuts!



DB @ 11:25 AM

Cops have golf carts in NYC?

several years ago i watched a show which detailed how you could get those carts for free because of federal subsidies. i assume cheap mikey made ray go get a gaggle of them so yes they probably have golf carts.

1904 Cadardi said...

Mr BMX guy is great. He should probably drop the "bullshit" from his lecture, and possibly respond to the question "Where did you get your law degree" with "I didn't need a law degree to go to city hall and lookup the statute under question. Ignorance of the law is not an excuse to break it, but it also isn't an excuse for incorrectly enforcing it." But certainly well done.

Spokey said...

Each Hexlox weighs less than 2 Gram, so it won't disturb your overall ride weight :-).

i'm pretty sure the weight of a hexlox is not the weight i'm disturbed about.

oh, and snobbie's commentary does allow ill-formed html such as <b><i>text</i></b>

Anonymous said...

text

Anonymous said...

"...oh, and snobbie's commentary does allow ill-formed html..."

Yes, but will it allow strike out text?

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

As an alter cocker, I can tell you those NYC Police golf cart/trikes have been around since the 1970's or maybe even the 1960's. I have often thought it would be fun to ask a cop in the golf cart and a cop on a scooter which one had more stature in the NYPD organization, or what bad thing they did to deserve their assignment. But since they still have billy clubs, handcuffs, guns and bullets I've never asked.

Anonymous said...

ill-formedtextstrikeout

Rollin' Rollin' Rollin" keep them Doggies movin' said...

Will Specialized be bring out a Bunnie Bird of Prey edition too?

Roille Figners said...

New theory on Fords: Maybe he already knew he had cancer, figured "there's no tomorrow," and that's why he barreled through life like a freight train made of crack on rails of coke?

Spokey said...

bunnie bike

ahhhhhh

the truth is out. try this one -
bunnie bike
i.e. <mike sinyard>bunnie bike</mike sinyard>

haven't figured out what it does, but as ricky said snobbie, youse got some spainin' to do

Anonymous said...

mmmmmmmm.....railsofcoke

ken e. said...

ha! as they say, mike sinyard tag is "improperly formed".

Anonymous said...

I admire that BMX riders attitude to police harassment, but if you swear to a cop where I live in NSW Australia you get a fine, that's about the same amount of the fine for not wearing a helmet (10 million dollars).

P. Bateman said...

whatever happen to the bmx craze? thought that was supposed to be like the next fixie but seems like that petered out rapdily or never really caught on.

i remember seeing bitchin' bmx bikes from my yout's on the list of craig for like $2K a couple years back. maybe that's why it never caught on.

Anonymous said...

Robs Fords just wanted to make the world a better place, so I'm happy that he finally suceeded

Anonymous said...

Femke would look good standing around stark buck naked wearing bunnie ears. They should of hired her.

DB said...

Hey, Leroy:
When you ordered your Milwaukee bike, did you go to Ben's Shop or talk over the phone?

Focus503 said...

My buddy was in Australia years ago, so there's 3 of them in this Van, stoned as hell, and there's Kangaroo carcass in the road about 5 miles off. And they're watching it...and watching it...and watching it...just forever, because it's the only feature in any direction stretching from horizon to horizon.

So 5 minutes or so pass....and wham....they bounce right over the top of it.

"WTF dude?" hot dead animal baking the sun for a week, is now coating the underside of their rig.


Anonymous said...

Rob Ford died of cancer, by the way

Roille Figners said...

Focus - So you could say your friends were traveling in a fried-out Gumby, on a hippy trail, head full of zombie.

True Dough said...

Without Rob Ford, who will make Canada great again?

Deadweight said...

I sure would hate to be a pallbearer at Rob Ford's funeral.

ortho said...

My BMX friend made that video with the cop. He's a sick rider! This guy isn't someone i enjoy getting in Facebook arguments with, heh. As a honky man I sometimes wish I had the gall to talk to police like that, like it would be a noble way to sacrifice myself for society when the police later beat me up.

I've turned several of my BMX buddies onto BikeSnob. We love ya.

ortho said...

Theres still lotsa BMXers in NYC, too. It's easier to jump off our bikes when something tries to kill us.

leroy said...

DB -- emailed for the preliminaries, then ordered over the phone. Have never been to Wisconsin. My loss. Understand there is some great riding out there.

Still enjoying the bike. Although I almost fell crossing 5th Ave at the tail end of the St. Patrick's Day Parade. Slowed down to a crawl, forgot I wasn't on a Citibike, and started to dismount as if the frame were a step through. That could have been embarrassing.

Anonymous said...

Gumby?! U mean combie mate. Good on ya tho.

J i m s t e r said...

Did you hear Robs Fords has dieds?

Robs Fords has dieds.

McFly said...

Sinyard musta picked bunnys that had been tested in the Specialized wind tunnel for the lowest coefficient of drag.

CRAK HORS

bad boy of the north said...

don't forget to see an old timey bike in "bowery bugs" with bugs bunny....in keeping with bunnies.

Mel Blnac said...

"...old timey bike in "bowery bugs" with bugs bunny..."

Bugs Bunny Biking

bad boy of the north said...

thanks mel blnac.now I know what i'll be playing for the next four,five,six or more hours.

babble on said...

Thank you, gentle peeps! :)

I just assumed BMX dood scolding the copper had to be a white boy, since he managed to ride away from that particular altercation without taking a single bullet.

Dorothy Rabinowitz said...

Robs Fords died in my arms or more accurately with me splayed face down under his hulking carcass. I should have never tossed out the kangaroo, he was much friskier and less demanding. Now I got nothing.

Spokey said...

leroy . . .

and started to dismount as if the frame were a step through. That could have been embarrassing.

not to mention the dog abuse you would have had to suffer.

Lee said...

wow that 'informed cyclist' video is fantastic!

Anonymous said...

I would buy a BSNYC limited edition riding jersey with a Kangaroo carcass on it. As long as it says, "kangaroo up!" on the back, I am in.

Light colors please, I do not like black jerseys. You are welcome.

Anonymous said...

Kangaroo Carcass, Pouchwork

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