Firstly, looks like things are going great down in New South Wales, Astralia:
I'm assuming they'll also fine you $500 for leaving the bike lane to avoid the sign.Sign 'o the times. @DuncsOffice latest rider #safety messaging @TransportforNSW @JakeSaulwick #metrematters #RMS pic.twitter.com/Bs5cya9Zos— BIKESydney (@BIKESydney) March 17, 2016
I mean sure, the Knog bell is nifty and all, but what is so ugly and annoying about a regular bike bell? It's round and goes "ding." It's classic, perhaps even iconic. Yet the writer of this article seems to think it's a grave injustice that has plagued humanity since the late 19th century:
THE BRITISH INVENTOR John Richard Dedicoat designed the bike bell in the late 19th century. His vision—a simple rounded piece of metal with a small lever the rider flicks to produce a tinny “ding”—has endured for more than a century. Despite its basic form and, frankly, irritating sound, Dedicoat’s design has become the de-facto bike bell for old beaters and sleek road bikes alike.
Wow. Never have I encountered such disdain for something so round and innocuous:
Most bells look like, well, a bell. Or a small hamburger. Or maybe a mushroom. However you describe them, they’ve always been the sort of thing that looked at home on a beach cruiser and nothing else. Knog wanted to challenge the iconic shape and improve upon its feeble ring. The designers started by looking at how instruments like the glockenspiel and xylophone create sound. “We realized when we started cutting up bits of metal and pipes you could hit one of them and it would make a beautiful sound, then you would clamp it to the handlebars and it would make a dull thwap,” he says.
Yeah, maybe some bells look like a hamburger because they're supposed to and they're meant for children's bikes:
there are all sorts of delightfully sonorous Fred chimes to choose from:
the artisanal one I installed not too long ago:
So I can only conclude that the writer of the above article was the victim of some childhood trauma wherein a bunch of neighborhood kids surrounded her on their bikes and rang their hamburger bells jeeringly at her.
And while she has my sympathy, that's no reason to go impugning the innocent bicycle bell.
And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the question, think, and click on your answer. If you're right that's great, and if you're wrong you'll see a HILARIOUS prank.
Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and never mind the bellocks.
--Wildcat Rock Machine
0) Why must Max take a different route than his riding buddies?
--His headtube is one (1) degree too steep to negotiate the trail safely
--When asked #whatpressureyourunning he gave an unsatisfactory answer
--His coach said he's not allowed to get his heart rate up today
--They told him he can't ride with them until he grows a beard
1) The Omata is a cockpit-mounted analog gauge that tells you exactly #whatpressureyourunning at all times.
--"Aerodynamic. The world's fastest bicycle for racing and triathlons"
--"Safety. Never go over the handlebars"
--"Great for cyclocross!"
--"Comfort. No more lower back pain or discomfort, no pressure on the prostate"
3) Miss your Caribbean vacation? The H-Zontal prone recumbent recreates the sensation of snorkeling on dry land.
4) A Johns Hopkins University study revealed that large sprockets are:
--Great for making sparks while cornering
(Hydrodynamic Lube extrraction)
5) The "fastest chain in the world" uses:
--All of the above
6) The slowest chain in the world uses:
--Fe2O3 Chain Debilitation
--Binding Link Action For Enhanced Stiffness
--All of the above
***Special Fat Bike-Themed Bonus Video!***
Doesn't mention what pressure he's running.