Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Walking: The New Extreme Sport

In memoriam:



My heart bleeds for him but it's his own fault at the end of the day.

Anyway, everybody knows the roads aren't built for cars, buses, and trucks.  They're built for cops.  And if you get in the way of one of those cops while crossing with the pedestrian signal then it's your own fault at the end of the day:


Following up on a witness statement that Medrano was on her cell phone at the time of the crash, the Internal Affairs Bureau subpoenaed her phone records, according to the Daily News. But just two days after Coss was killed the Post reported that Medrano probably wouldn’t be summonsed or charged by NYPD. Though Coss “had the pedestrian signal,” the Post reported, “No criminality and no traffic-law violations are suspected.”

“It was a tragic, unfortunate accident,” an anonymous NYPD source said.

As you know, there's a movement to replace the word "accident" with crash, but you can be sure the NYPD will never go along with it due to its ass-covering powers.  Police Commissioner Bill Bratton even used the word "accident" repeatedly at the recent Vision Zero Cities conference--you know, the same conference where he said Vision Zero was impossible.

After using the word "accident" at the Vision Zero Conference, Bratton then addressed the LGBT Equality Caucus, where he assured everybody that the NYPD was committed to protecting "chicks with dicks."

Anyway, the victim's family have filed suit against the city, and here's what the city has to say about that:

Plantiff(s) voluntarily performed and engaged in the alleged activity and assumed the risk of the injuries and/or damages claimed. Plaintiff(s) failed to use all required, proper, appropriate and reasonable safety devices and/or equipment and failed to take all proper, appropriate and reasonable steps to assure his/her/their safety … Plaintiff(s)’ implied assumption of risk caused or contributed, in whole or in part [sic] to his/her/their injuries.

See that?  According to the city, crossing the street with the right of way is no different than cliff diving or wingsuit flying.  I especially love the bit about "reasonable safety devices and/or equipment," which means we're about a year away from mandatory pedestrian helmets.

Hey, the NYPD already tells people to walk around carrying flashlights at night:


We'll all be walking around wearing this stuff in no time:



As a pedestrian, you are at a major disadvantage when crossing streets, intersections and standing on corners.  You are not always visible to drivers; especially for large truck and bus drivers and you don't stand a chance if a vehicle hits you.  Pedestrians need to be careful of all vehicles and never take chances when they are sharing the road with large vehicles, like trucks and buses.  Here are some safety tips that can keep you safe when walking from one destination to another.

Yeah, that's not "sharing the road," it's cowering for your life.

But let's set matters of life and death aside for the moment and ponder more important questions, such as #whatpressureyourunning?  Well, with Bimp'Air, the answer is "Any pressure you want!"

BIMPAIR - Discover the high pressure inflating revolution ! - Support us on Indiegogo :) from Bimp'Air on Vimeo.

BIMP’AIR is the first fully autonomous inflating device, a refillable compressed air capsule to inflate tires, set forks and shock absorbers or install tubeless with one system just by pressing a button! 

You can say goodbye to the exhausting process of pumping up your bicycle and to expensive and environmentally-damaging CO² capsules, Bimp’Air is the solution of the future.

Automatic tire inflators are like disc brakes for road bikes in that if they were there first and then someone invented the stuff they replaced then that someone would be hailed as a genius.  Consider:

INTEGRATED ROAD DISC BRAKES

--Ultra-light
--Adjustable on the fly
--No fluid, easily serviced
--Large-diameter rotor is integrated with wheel for stopping power and additional weight savings
--Allows lightning-fast wheel changes
--Come in different reaches to accommodate higher-volume tires

And:

PORTABLE POSITIVE-DISPLACEMENT INFLATIONARY DEVICE
--Reusable
--Reliable
--Low maintenance
--No charging
--No bulky capsules or converters

I mean seriously, is there a more convenient invention than the bicycle pump?  It's just waiting there to give you air, all the time.  The hardest part is remembering to carry the freaking thing.

Someone should really invent a reusable positive-displacement device for home use as well:


Nah, that will never happen.  They don't displace enough air to mount today's tubeless tires...

...unless some genius were to invent some kind of pneumatic tire bladder system:


Hey, I know it sounds crazy, but imagine being able to swap or repair tires in minutes without messy fluids, air compressors, or extremely tight-fitting tires.

Sure, it is vulnerable to punctures, but you could always carry a spare, and maybe someone could even invent some sort of tire bladder repair kit!

Nah, it'll never catch on.

74 comments:

fongfong said...

Podium, says anonymous from DC

Ted K. said...

134. For all of the foregoing reasons, technology is a more powerful social force than the aspiration for freedom. But this statement requires an important qualification. It appears that during the next several decades the industrial-technological system will be undergoing severe stresses due to economic and environmental problems, and especially due to problems of human behavior (alienation, rebellion, hostility, a variety of social and psychological difficulties). We hope that the stresses through which the system is likely to pass will cause it to break down, or at least will weaken it sufficiently so that a revolution against it becomes possible. If such a revolution occurs and is successful, then at that particular moment the aspiration for freedom will have proved more powerful than technology.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

..F Ted

Anonymous said...

PODIO!!

Vernal Magina said...

God bless the Celeron processor.

cdinvb said...

I didn't ride very far this morning. Maybe tomorrow. Some cool guys had electric airplanes, and I stayed around to talk.

ken e. said...

nerd alert, bike parts!

JuanOffhue said...

Top tendon. More relevant comments to come.

ken e. said...

bonus point, what "x" is that zephal hp?

Very Slim Pickins said...

Here in San Diego I've encountered one pedestrian after another who simply walk off the sidewalk at intersections while staring at their cell phones. Even at intersections with a lighted pedestrian crossing signal (lighted red hand or green hand), that is solid red, no problem, just walk, the Milky Way will come to a stop for Mr. or Ms. Oblivious. It's a wonder far more aren't killed.

Bryan said...

ideas like the ones you have is why they pay you the big money. I mean, a bladder for inside the tire to hold air? That's pure genius shit right there

Anonymous said...

"...is there a more convenient invention than the bicycle pump? It's just waiting there to give you air, all the time. The hardest part is remembering to carry the freaking thing."

If you remember to carry an older, metal one, you can use to to rap chasing dogs on the nose. (If Leroy's dog is here, present company excepted.)

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

12th, 11th excluding terrorists! Scranus!

Spokey said...


top 20

getting better again

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Ok, 12th excluding terrorists

One Man Hell said...

Ford is is a better place now. An afterlife of Bikes, Bike lanes, and no drugs and alcohol. Of course he is still the same Fat-ass with a desperate need for cocaine and a few beers. It is his own No Exit (Camus).

mustard said...

Rob RIP

Anonymous said...

No Exit by Sartre

wle said...

robs fords, forgotten but not remembered.. all of the robs and fords..

Roille Figners said...

Well, fuck New York I guess.

Spokey said...


why can't i rap a dog on the nose with a plastic pump. excluding the hound from hell of course.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Why does the air always smell funny when it comes out of a pneumatic tire bladder system?

Anonymous said...

"why can't i rap a dog on the nose with a plastic pump."

OK you can but the one time I tried it the pump broke.

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

“No criminality and no traffic-law violations are suspected.”

“It was a tragic, unfortunate accident,” an anonymous NYPD source said.

NYPD denied a Streetsblog freedom of information request for files related to the crash.

Of course the Freedom of Information Act request was denied, 'Nothing to see here folks, just move along...' Just one big "Oopsie." No wonder the bus drivers' union wants the same for their members.

Sounds like the NYPD is angling towards contributory negligence to reduce their payment amount - 25% less for not wearing a helment, 25% less for not wearing a day-glow neon reflective safety vest, 25% for not carrying the recommended flashlight , even though the "accident" occurred in broad daylight.

Well maybe the accident-prone officer will be demoted to NYPD golf cart duty, hey we can hope.

i'm with stupid said...

A person was arrested for jumping over a White House bike rack on Tuesday afternoon.

jodphoto said...

I know it was your brand of jocularity but, since when is cancer presumed one's own fault ?

Is Ted K the Unabomber, just curious.

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Recumbent Conspiracy Theorist @ 1:12 - you'e not rotating your air with fresh air often enough. I think that was covered in this blog a few months back. I don't rotate mine either, I've occasionally had better smelling farts than what comes out of my tubes.

A Pompous Douche said...

No Exit was written by Sartre.

Walter Cronkite said...

"A person was arrested for jumping over a White House bike rack..."

News is claiming this particular bike was being used as a temporary barrier.

dnk said...

That video of Felix Coss being killed by a cop is heartbreaking.

That the cop was behaving criminally by talking on a cell phone while driving is enraging.

That the city will not prosecute the cop nor take responsibility but instead blames the victim is.....

Walter Cronkite said...

...bike RACK was being used as a temporary barrier.

P. Bateman said...

I'd say the only invention more simple and and convenient than a bike pump is maybe the Flesh-light.

Anonymous said...

The police report noted that the driver had the green, but just happened to omit that the pedestrian had the walk signal, was crossing at a marked crosswalk, and had waited for the light to change. Oh, and won't release witness reports. Think on that next time the NYPD refers to its incident reports.

tobeistobex said...

Hey I got my 29er XC hard tail down to 20 LBs! well 28 if you include my air management system. Bimp Air.

Fake Ted loser boy said...

The Real Unabomber doesn't have internet access. Fake Ted is a silly boy who thinks being a fan boy of a terrorist is kewl. He is like losers with Manson swatikas on their foreheads, even more of a loser, because Manson has a lot more loserville fans...

P. Bateman said...

also, did anyone else notice the weird echo in that promo vid for the airpump thingy?

i guess even they know that it will require subliminal messaging to convince anyone to strap a giant stupid contraption to their bike for the convenience factor.

ford who? said...

Within a week (maybe a day), Ford will barely be mentioned.

BikeSnobNYC said...

jodphoto,

Blaming someone for their own cancer isn't much different from blaming someone for getting killed while riding a bike, which is kind of the point I was trying to make.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

theEel said...

weed.

1904 Cardardi said...

Robo Ted K isn't a terrorist (real Ted K is), but is more like that annoying guy that shows up drunk a party and spends hours making an ass of himself while refusing to leave even though people keep asking him to shut up or go home.

To the owner of the Ted K bot: Nobody likes you.

Could the Portable Positive-Displacement Pneumatic Inflationary Device be made to fit a bicycle frame so that it is attached and therefor difficult to forget, yet easily removable for use? Maybe using magnets, or perhaps springs?

P. Bateman said...

I still don't get all the outrage that continues over TedK. just skip over it. done. problem solved.

i do wish mr. chamois juice hadn't been banished.

PPDPID said...

"Could the Portable Positive-Displacement Pneumatic Inflationary Device be made to fit a bicycle frame so that it is attached and therefor difficult to forget..."

A real on you can buy now,, also here

This one might be vapor-ware.

Keep posting Fake Ted said...

But i enjoy calling Fake Ted a worthless dweeb, i'm not outraged. And i suspect Fake Ted likes the insults; probably had to pay some serious money to a dominatrix before the internet, now he can take a verbal beating in the comfort of his very highly technologically equipped abode.

Victor Kaminski said...

vsk said ...

I fly electric airplanes. It's cool.

Although I should be on the bike practicing for the Fondon't.


vsk

Fred Fruitloops said...

Stone-walling by NYPD legal department I bet is normal - hope that the family gets a nice settlement, you know, quietly.

Anonymous said...

Not riding is the only practice allowed for the Fondon't

Mr. Oblivious said...

No, you watch where you're going.

Billy said...

I can't wait 'til robots are driving instead, and we can all be Ms. or Mr. Oblivious all the time and never have to fear for our lives because the robots just always stop.

Bender 1729 said...

"... because the robots just always stop."

Joe said...

LGBT Equity Caucus joke threw me for a second--I thought that was a real Bratton quote. Our 2016 NYPD, folks.

P. Bateman said...

i wonder who would win? Chicks with Dicks vs Dikes on Bikes

Spokey said...


bender has already won

my parking brake is electronic & controlled from the car (e.g. you put it on while moving, the car will take it off to ensure hitting some obstacle as max speed). The steering is also electronic. Not sure of the ramifications of that one but

yes

i am afeered of my dino eater.

I'm Fuckin' Disgusted said...

That video of the unfortunate Ms. Medrano is astounding. Bets are on as to who was really on the phone....Ms. Medrano or Officer Can't Drive for Shit.

mikeweb said...

At the end of the day, going forward, from a to z, and so it goes.

JuanOffhue said...

Perhaps soon the NYPD will make available these spiffy safety suits for pedestrians and cyclists.

Dooth said...

How about runts with cunts?
Woosies with pussies?
Equal rights for all!

Anonyguy said...

Air contains molecules of different sizes that secrete through the rubber at different speeds, altering its molecular constitution. There may also be off gassing from the rubber.

Anonymous said...

Make car smaller, less accidents. Americans are dumb by choice.

Anonyguy said...

I like the TedBot. At least until it gets to the end of the manifesto - it's a real cliffhanger.

Anonymous said...

P. Bateman @ 1:58

The TROLL “Ted K”. Sure, Just “skip over it”. But “Ted K” is like a pile of dog shit on the sidewalk, it stinks. Just walk around it? Yeah, but there it is, over and over again. Stinks.

(Not Leroy’s dog. He has manners.)

ken e. said...

"...another cigarette, another day, from a to b, again avoiding c, d, and e..."

MrLobstermash said...

Don't get me started on self-adhesive patches... Not only do they let go within a few days, they save but a few seconds of squeezing out some glue that fixes the pneumatic bladder system permanently. Also, if you mess up all your patches, you can keep yourself entertained on the long walk home in your socks by sniffing the leftover glue...

Arizona redneck said...

Ted's alright. A man with the courage of his convictions. A far better citizen that those meek souls who only complain,or worse yet,vote...

Rear Ender said...

I've got poo poo on my pee pee, and have also crafted the most entertaining comment so far.

Paul Kirby said...

Yes, Ted K. = unabomber (and is also a bot).

King of the Road said...

It is not just NYC where pedestrians with green lights are responsible for getting run over

"This means those on foot should keep a lookout for errant motorists regardless of how long the lights have turned in favour of the pedestrian, wrote Justice Chao. This was because there was risk of the motorist having fallen asleep from fatigue, driving while drunk and using a mobile phone."

See it is your own damn fault if you get hit by a drunk texting driver when using a pedestrian crossing with a green light.

Anonymous said...

Alban Lakata won Leadville 100 running inner tubes. He said it allowed him to change a flat in under 2 minutes. That's good enough for me.

bad boy of the north said...

r.i.p. mr.coss.

jodphoto said...

Snob,

I see your point about the cancer analogy, though as a patient, it struck a nerve. Your humor is curative to say the least. Hey you are a curator of bike humor!

Peace.

Anonymous said...

Where did Wednesday go?

EricBikeCO said...

You're more likely to see Robs Fords walking the streets of NYC than seeing me. Snake Pliskin couldn't survive that shit hole.

EricBikeCO said...

You're more likely to see Robs Fords walking the streets of NYC than seeing me. Snake Pliskin couldn't survive that shit hole.

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