Thursday, January 7, 2016

Money money money makes the world go round.

Further to yesterday's post in which I apologized to Bicycle NSW, I've experienced a bit of a backlash from the New South Welsh (?) cycling community, by which I mean two (2) people left comments like this:

I will confirm that Anonymous is pretty much right in his comment above about Bicycle NSW. I also think Snob should retract his apology.

Okay, then, I love retracting apologies!  Consider it done:



That felt good.

Apologizing sure feels good, but taking it back feels even better.

Meanwhile, the big news in Portland is that child labor aggregator Nike may announce sponsorship of the city's bike share program:


PBOT is referring to this as a “major agreement” so it’s very likely it’ll be sponsorship of the bike share system. And from what we know about how these marketing partnerships work, the first announcement is the most valuable in terms of PR and brand exposure value. That makes it a solid bet that Nike will be the title sponsor. As we’ve previously reported, PBOT needs anywhere from $2 to $8 million in private sponsorship to create the system they envision.

This would be good news for Portland, and $2 to $8 million is nothing for Nike, considering their revenues are up and they took in $7.7 billion during their most recent fiscal quarter:


Imagine how much better off humanity would be if, instead of investing in duplicitous athletes, bullshit sports, and the dope-addled Olympics, Nike instead really inspired people to be fit and active by sponsoring more bike share programs.  I mean sure, they have inspired people to "Just do it" over the years:


Unfortunately for most people "Just do it" means "Sit on your fat ass watching football."

Still, a Nike-sponsored bike share program is the most exciting thing to hit cycling since the Chalkbot:


Nike Chalkbot. from Gorlochs on Vimeo.

Then you've got our bike share sponsor, Citi Bike, who make Nike look like the artisanal olive tapenade shop on the corner:

They paid $41 million to be the main sponsor for six years, which sounds like a lot, until you consider it's a fraction of what they paid in fines last year for their usurious credit card practices:


Oof, that's gotta hurt their bottom line.

Just kidding!

Tuesday's settlement is about 1 percent of the bank's estimated revenue for 2015, according to Thomson Reuters StarMine.

But make a late payment and they'll take it out of your ass.

Still, I don't mean to look a gift horse in the mouth, even if that mouth eats money and gives you a big steaming pile of manure in return.  Bike share is a good thing and any sponsorship helps.  Unfortunately, people still like to complain that many bike share users don't wear helmets, but guess what?  They may very well be safer without them:
From the abstract:

In a controlled study in which a helmet, compared with a baseball cap, was used as the head mount for an eye tracker, participants scored significantly higher on laboratory measures of both risk taking and sensation seeking. This happened despite there being no risk for the helmet to ameliorate and despite it being introduced purely as an eye tracker. The results suggest that unconscious activation of safety-related concepts primes globally increased risk propensity.

So in lay terms, helmets make you stupid.

Then again, from what I've observed, wearing baseball hats also makes you stupid, and at least 200% more likely to be driving a 15 year-old Honda Civic with a farty exhaust pipe.

I'd love to see another study in which they test the behavior of people wearing ratty Brooklyn cycling caps.

And speaking of money and corporate interests, while corporations make tentative investments in bike share programs, the auto companies are selling unprecedented shitloads of trucks and SUVs:

Six years after plunging sales during the recession forced automakers into bankruptcies and painful restructuring, the industry has roared back to achieve new heights.

Automakers said on Tuesday that strong demand for pickup trucks and sport utility vehicles in December had helped the industry set an annual record of 17.5 million vehicles sold in the United States in 2015.

Holy shit.  17.5 million motor vehicles sold in the United States in a single year, many of which are being driven by people wearing baseball hats.

Translation: it's a great time to lease that Hyundai you've had your eyes on!


(Make that 17,499,999 vehicles, because I still don't own one!)

Once all those cars can drive themselves the takeover will be complete.

63 comments:

Dorothy RabinoBOT said...

Podium!

Anti-Ted K Quote of the Day: “Bicycling is a big part of the future. It has to be. There’s something wrong with a society that drives a car to work out in a gym.” ~ Bill Nye

Anonymous said...

What up!

Ted K. said...

96. As for our constitutional rights, consider for example that of freedom of the press. We certainly don’t mean to knock that right; it is very important tool for limiting concentration of political power and for keeping those who do have political power in line by publicly exposing any misbehavior on their part. But freedom of the press is of very little use to the average citizen as an individual. The mass media are mostly under the control of large organizations that are integrated into the system. Anyone who has a little money can have something printed, or can distribute it on the Internet or in some such way, but what he has to say will be swamped by the vast volume of material put out by the media, hence it will have no practical effect. To make an impression on society with words is therefore almost impossible for most individuals and small groups. Take us (FC) for example. If we had never done anything violent and had submitted the present writings to a publisher, they probably would not have been accepted. If they had been been accepted and published, they probably would not have attracted many readers, because it’s more fun to watch the entertainment put out by the media than to read a sober essay. Even if these writings had had many readers, most of these readers would soon have forgotten what they had read as their minds were flooded by the mass of material to which the media expose them. In order to get our message before the public with some chance of making a lasting impression, we’ve had to kill people.

Victor Kaminski said...

vsk said ...

Post Ted Podium !!


vsk

McFly said...

That woman needs to quit pushing his buttons.

Anonymous said...

Short and bittersweet today, Snob. Will you be retracting the non-apology apology tomorrow?

N/A said...

Darby Monger and Delia Ephron vacation in Australia. They really find it to be a near-utopia. Carolyn Rogerson would go, but her vertigo prevents her from flying.

N/A said...

Snob would like to apologize for retracting his apology for apologizing about the retracting of his prior apology.

N/A said...

Hmm, that should be "retraction of his prior apology".

My apologies for the error.

Sargent Shultz said...

Top tennis? NEIN!

Anonymous said...

@N/A

Just Kidding!

Judge Roy Bean said...

[Bean apologizes to the marshals' wives] I understand you have taken exception to my calling you whores. I'm sorry. I apologize. I ask you to note that I did not call you callous-ass strumpets, fornicatresses, or low-born gutter sluts. But I did say "whores." No escaping that. And for that slip of the tongue, I apologize.

dop said...

I think those down under cyclists should stop bickering about the fine print and unite against the common enemy.

Anonymous said...

Rumor has it that the bikes to be used in Portland for the sharing program will be fixies with cup holders for artisinal coffee and payment will be via Bitcoin or through a barter system where you can trade free-range chickens.

Anonymous said...

Judge Roy Bean himself

Anonymous said...

Ted K., always Ted K. I hope Ted K. Has Mark Textor's address. They'd make great pen pals.

(Maybe I am a robot. I have difficulty selecting milkshake photos)

Bryan said...

Pickup and SUV sales will plummet again once gas prices go back up. At $1.64/ gal here in the shitty state of SC, it was nice to only spend $26.25 to fill up my Highlander. My wifes car , OTOH...even during higher gas prices, hardly ever exceeds $15 (yeah Honda Fit!) - In a few years I'll be due for a new car...already pushing 130k miles, and have no idea what to get. I would like to stick with an SUV, but hopefully when the time comes, hybrid engines are cheaper and continue to improve.

Dooth said...

Nice Dreams..."gargoyle, more food...Bruce Springsteen, he's fucking up the future of rock n roll...I've got a Mexican here who'll kick your ass."

Anonymous said...

Spencer said,
I think I am a big fan of the chalk Bot,
just a few words sprayed on the road, a little support for the battle against Cancer.

Also, I get a kick out of the kids with the fart box mufflers,,,as if the thrashed out civic with 245 thousand miles didn't run bad enough on its own, lets add a poorly engineered muffler to it.

dop said...

When they say a bicycle is NSW, do they mean recumbabe?

babble on said...

We also sold a record number of pickups here north of the line, and it shows. As I walked in from my stoopid o'clock spin, the newscaster on the CBC's Early Edition was talking about a 46 yr old cyclist found unconscious on the road this morning, and who died of his injuries after being rushed to hospital in grave condition. He was found in a spot I ride regularly, and even at five or five thirty in the morning, when there are very few folks on the road, I regularly encounter drivers who blithely play with my life by flaunting the law and speeding recklessly. In their fucking pickup trucks.

Heh. And what with all of the apologizing followed by the I'm sorry but I'm not sorry bit, you'll fit right in up here, too, once yer a true blue Trump refugee.

Reggie said...

Everyone Hates You, Ted K.

Frickus Rungus said...

I call dibs on babble's couch if the Trumpocalypse happens. I can speak yooper, which is practically the same language as Canadian, so I think I'll fit right in.

If you want to practice yooper, use this phrase:
Let's go out and about in a boat, eh?

It's kind of like saying "The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain", but with more emphasis on the mosquitoes and pastys.

Anonymous said...

Wouldn't it make more sense to compare these corporate bike-share sponsorships to other parts of their advertising budgets than to fines, revenue, etc...?

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

BACK LASH
NIKE BIKE
JUST DOIT
BALL HATS
CHAL KBOT

Scransu
(Asian pronunciation)

Anonymous said...

I don't hate Ted K. I always sort of suspected Eben Weiss was Ted K anyway... then again, I think Babble On is BikesGoneWild.

Ted K. said...

"I always sort of suspected Eben Weiss was Ted K..."

Mr. Weiss has never been shy about posting his own opinions directly in his blog, and he has not been shy about mixing it up with commentators using his own name. Suspecting he would need/want to hide behind behind a sock puppet goes against everything we know about him.

Plus, he would get first comment everyday instead of just some of the time.

Freddy Murcks said...

It's nice to see a Nike promo video from the Lance Pharmstrong glory days. Chalkbot's final message of "hope" should have been "Dope hard regardless of the consequences. Winning is everything, suckers".

NOThrc2016 said...

trump isn't the issue.
at least he isn't a career pol.
the bigger concern is if we get another clinton or bush.
20 out of the last 27 years has been one or the other.
NOT hrc 2016
NOT JEB! 2016

babble on said...

He DOES get first comment every day he posts, and his are the ones with pictures. I like pictures, specially pretty ones. And of course as you know his anonymity was a big part of the schick till he started publishing books and walking amongst his peeps, as you do.

OOotnabooot isn't anything like westcoast dialect, tho. We're more wadder, as in "you ought to watch for wadder pooling on the road in a storm," and budder as in "knowing which side your bread is budderd on." :)

JLRB said...

Mass Shootings and bicycles are fake*

I made up the bicycle part

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 12:17pm,

Nike spends like $2.75 billion a year on what it calls "demand creation."

--Wildcat Etc.

JLRB said...

This blog taught me to never go to or care about the Land Down Under

Anonymous said...

First of all Trump has zero chance of becoming president, so get over it. However, even if he did, which admittedly would suck, living in The USA would still be about a million times better than living in Cananda. Sorry (no I'm not) but it is just true. We just don't emigrate to Canada. I personally would go south of the border first, the women and climate are hotter and the food is much better and they actually have a culture.

africansingle said...

Chalkbot: It's about dope.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Kick the can down the road and hope for the best. That's what a two party system is. Ima patriot, a voter, love my country and all that but as one gets older it gets clearer and more obvious. It'll go on as it is until the socialists gain enough traction to finish off capitalism and then once all the moneys spent it'll implode on itself.

Oh well I ride my bicycle anyways so that will make the adjustment all the easier.

Roille Figners said...

Fo the love a money, a woman will sell ha precious bah-taay.

Ah yes, nice to check in once again with the fine folks of catalinasmbay.org. Are there enough names to express the whole range of human experience? Maybe.

It's weird the distance Nike has kept from cycling, because doesn't cycling involve copious amounts of "wearing clothes?" Clothes that can be trivially "designed," branded "Nike," produced in China and *ka-chinnngg*? I mean can't they smell money anymore or what?

JuanOffhue said...

Why wait for a self-driving car when you can already get a self-flying drone? Of course, for cyclists that means death now has the option of coming from above.

P. Bateman said...

very political day in the comments. Bike Snob District of Columbia?

lots of clapped out low rider farty hondas down here in florida. they are my absolute favorite sort of people. Backwards hat - always. YOLO.

that will be the lovely thing about VaginaVision once its kickstarted. You wont be able to see all the douche around you. Unless your in to that sort of porn.

leroy said...

Demand creation?

Is "demand" a noun or a verb?

Or the department responsible for these?

Anonymous said...

When I absolutely need the latest most accurate information about New South Wales I read Snob or I check with the weed smoking sloth. No wait, I've repeated myself.

JLRB said...

Impeach Trump

Trump is Disgusting

“If Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her

Don't be silly, Freedom of religion isn't for Jews and Muslims its only for scared old white christians

Darwin said...

The Chalkbot is an impressive achievement. It now enables full computer automation of public vandalism. Huzzah.

we-are-upside-and-backwards said...

don't apologize to any of the australian bike 'advocacy' orgs - they're all completely pissweak and unwilling to strive for real change, too afraid to bite the autoindustrial cock in their mouths. they are part of the problem, they need to bite back. give them a kick in the pants yabbies to wake them up. there is, however, an uprising of (currently very) small orgs more interested in real urban change, and general cycling policy improvement. but fuck it, transalt should open up here and get JSK in for PM.

Francisco de Almeida said...

neoseptentrional welsh

ken e. said...

is that like northern soul? new boating couple is awesome, bet that's what they listen to.
culture is not the domain of any particular people, you're just going to see more when you're crammed together like ants.

Ryan Kelley said...

In soccer, countries bid for the rights of hosting the World Cup. I hear that you are forever contemplating leaving New York City. If you do, will you announce a contest that will allow the potential cities to compete for the rights to have you live within their city?

SMH said...

JLRB @ 3:02
Do you always get your information from comedy/satire sites? way to go low information,eh?

citing your source:
James Schlarmann
James is the founding editor and chief contributor for the political comedy site "The Political Garbage Chute." You can find his other work there, as well as scribbled on your local diner bathroom stall. - See more at: http://nationalreport.net/trump-explains-why-freedom-of-religion-only-applies-to-christians/#sthash.0e8dBUOW.dpuf

tubasti said...

When I raced in the '70s and early '80s, we used to joke that the guys wearing hard-shell helmets rode as if they intended to use them. 30 years later it's confirmed that there's some truth to it. How prescient is that?

BamaPhred said...

There's an election? Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.

babble on said...

JuanOffhue it's true! The man who died this morning did indeed die by missile from above. Rubbish death, that.

Stuart said...

Bicycle NSW have issued another statement on Jan 8th, clarifying their position on the new hopelessly draconian licensing requiremnts in NSW http://bicyclensw.org.au/photo-id-creating-a-problem-where-none-exists/

Guy Y said...

Apology retracted on the 7th, new statement on the 8th. How is it that Bicycle NSW are more reactive to comments in a foreign comedy blog than politicians and cyclists in their own state?

Oh well, I guess it just makes me like Bike Snob all the more. OXO and lots of love WCRM.

N/A said...

This is a... comedy... blog?

Anonymous said...

N/A said: "This is a...comedy...blog?

Yes, except for your comment.

JLRB said...

SMH @ 8:50
"Do you always get your information from comedy/satire sites? way to go low information,eh?"

Yes, yes I do. Especially for cartoon character presidential candidates. You on the other hand should stick to the fact based reported of Fox news for your daily brainwashing.

JLRB said...

What would the good people of Coronado say about the Chalkbot?

Nelson said...

NIce sharing regarding bike share. I am also a bike lover and also take part in some events near my town. And love to hears about exiting news regarding bikes.

Pengobatan Herbal said...

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basith said...

terimakasih atas artikelnya kawan

Edwin said...

Thanks for sharing about the bike share story. I am also a fan of biking and also looking for bike events that are going to held near my city to participate in it.

webbrowan said...

I love that quote about having to drive to the gym, but unfortunately, people love the convenience of a car too much to convert entirely to a full time bicycle enthusiast in my opinion. I for one would not be able to accommodate those extra minutes on the road into my schedule!

ElectricScooterLab.com said...

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