Tuesday, October 6, 2015

You Can't Spell "Innovation" Without "Anoint Vino"*

*Had to cheat to come up with that one.  You know, like Vino.

Merriam-Webster defines "innovation" thusly:


I suspect this may be a mistake.

Nevertheless, while "innovation" may be too charitable a word for the brainfarts of today's Kickstarter doofuses, we are certainly experiencing a golden age of bicycle alteration.  If a part on a bike didn't move before, it does now.  If there's a way to get your phone to operate some part on your bike that works much better if you just use it manually, then rest assured somebody's on it.

Now, one bold entrepreneur has turned his attention to the humble bar end:



Largely ignored since the 1990s, the bar end is the Primus of bicycle accessories.  However, like Primus, they still have their dedicated fans--though most bar ends you'll see are simply there because the owner couldn't be bothered to take them off, which is something they also share in common with pie plates.

Anyway, if you've ever used bar ends you know the most annoying thing about them is that once you set them up exactly the way you want them they tend to slip out of place--so naturally this person has invented bar ends that rotate on purpose:


Also, they look like a gun, so there's the added risk of getting shot by an overzealous police officer who will then testify that you were coming at him with a pair of pistols.

Then again, this is a Portland product, so you're probably safe from the police just as long as: A) You only use them in Portland; and B) You look like this, which in Portland most people do:


("Nothing bad could ever happen to us.")

So how did he come up with the idea for the rotating bar end?


"I initially came up with the idea 'cause I used to be a bike messenger..."

With the possible exception of "Whatpressureyourunning?," there is no more common phrase among bike dorks than "I used to be a bike messenger."  That's why it's going to be the basis for my new line of t-shirts:


Stay tuned for the Kickstarter campaign.

Alas, it seems bicycle messengering took its toll on his back:


"I would ride for eight hours a day and my back would just kill at the end of the day."

See, messengers get a bad rap for all the weed and booze, but all they're trying to do is soothe their chronic back pain.


"There was no way I could really change my hand position or my back position.  You know, when you ride a bike you're just hunched over in one position, or two positions at the most..."

Wait, what?!?


And that's just with standard road bars.  With a little creativity and some ordinary household items you can go way past the four canonical hand positions and venture Beyond the Infinite:


By the way, when you're a messenger, even though you're technically on the bike eight hours a day you're rarely riding for more than 20 minutes at a time, since you're constantly on and off the bike picking up and dropping off packages.  If anything you spend most of your time waiting for freight elevators--which gives you ample time to work the kinks out of your back.

I know this because I used to...

Well I'm not going to say it.

Either way, he's gone ahead and invented the trigger-operated adjustable bar end nobody wanted or needed:


And here he is explaining the mechanics behind the concept:


Which is basically that they're artisanal "bum bars."


See?


But what's most compelling about this particular Kickstarter pitch is that Mike Lane of Portland looks remarkably similar to another Mike Lane of Portland who once hawked some sort of posture-correcting device on the TV show "Shark Tank:"


And the inspiration behind it?

Fanklin said Lane's desk job sparked the invention. "He said 'I’ve got an idea because I sit at my desk all day and my posture has gotten really bad. Let's create a posture improvement device.'"

Wait a minute!  I thought the bad back was from messengering!  Now we find out it's from sitting in a cubicle all day?!?

Actually, we may never know the real Mike Lane, for he's clearly a master of disguise.  Three years ago it was selling manssieres to office drones, now it's selling bar ends that look like guns to the urban cycling set, and three years from now he'll probably be selling some kind of ergonomic car seat cushion inspired by his days as a repo man.

Speaking of innovation, I've mentioned the ICEdot helme(n)t before, and apparently now in addition to alerting your loved ones that you've crashed it will also tell them when you've started and finished your ride:

Icedot text message feature rounds out safety platform

Icedot — an emergency ID and notification service — is now offering a digital safety platform that sends text messages to designated contacts when you start and finish a ride. These notifications also include a tracking link with map features to track your route. With the Crash Sensor app, the system uses automated push notifications at the outset of a ride that users can choose to turn on or off the text messages notifications.

If your loved ones really cared that much couldn't they just stalk you on Strava?

And why is this even necessary?  Everybody in the house knows when you start and finish a Fred ride, because you're wearing ridiculous clothing and you clomp in and out of the house in your stupid clown shoes.

Does your spouse or life partner really need some kind of electronic notification to know that this just walked in the door?


If anything, a text message on top of the horrifying reality only seems cruel.

By the way, the aforementioned Velo-whatever article also mentions this:

Umbo Helmets shoots to reduce traumatic brain injuries

A team of Colorado scientists and avid cyclists hopes to reduce the $76.1 billion that the U.S. spends on traumatic brain injuries each year with the newly designed Umbo Helmet.

I've mentioned this company's Kickstarter before, but I'm too lazy to figure out when.  In any case, if they want to whittle down that $76.1 billion figure they're wasting their time making bicycle helme(n)ts, because here's what's causing traumatic brain injuries here in Canada's scranus:

The leading causes of TBI in the general population are falls (35.2%), motor vehicle crashes (17.3%), blunt impact (e.g., being struck by or against a moving or stationary object) (16.5%), and assaults (10%) (4). Different age groups are affected to varying degrees (Table). Falls account for a large proportion of TBIs among children aged 0–14 years and among adults aged ≥65 years (4). Motor vehicle crashes and assaults are the predominant causes of TBIs in teens and young adults aged 15–34 years (4). Military personnel, both in and out of combat, and rescue workers and victims exposed to blasts also are at risk for TBI (10).

Notice "Fred crashes" aren't listed anywhere.  I mean sure, maybe they're included in the general "falls" category, but I'd think if it was such an epidemic that they'd break it out.

And I'm not saying that Freds don't fall, because they most certainly do:



Hey, in their defense, it was a very technical section of road:


As for what caused the first rider to go down, the videographer doesn't say, but my guess is either "foot popped out of pedal" or "front wheel came out from under him," possibly owing to a potently Fredly combination of spirited out-of-the-saddle acceleration and a choppy pedal stroke--and I'm not sure the white tires are entirely blameless here either:


Though I could very easily be wrong about all of this.

Still, in the interest of Fredly forensics I've analyzed the video, and here the rider already listing, his front wheel possibly coming out from under him:


Skipping ahead now to the slo-mo replay, we can see clearly that the foot's now out of the pedal:


Then the yabbies meet the top tube:


And he elegantly ice skates into the adjacent Fred:


At which point they both fall like it's the mirror scene in "Duck Soup:"


Helme(n)t apologists will no doubt point out that Fred 2's foam hat hits the pavement:


As does Fred 1's:


Though helme(n)t cynics will blame the white tires for causing it all.

Regardless, all of this is so engrossing that we forget all about Fred 3, who is right now at this moment completely upside down:


One can only imagine the texts if they'd been wearing ICEdots.

Here's hoping everyone's okay.

138 comments:

Weasel said...

Yeah, it's early, a long breakaway

Weasel said...

I could circle the finish-line 10 times, but I think I'll go take a nap, I'm tired.

Ted K. said...

Note 12. (Paragraph 64) The problem of purposelessness seems to have become less serious during the last 15 years or so, because people now feel less secure physically and economically than they did earlier, and the need for security provides them with a goal. But purposelessness has been replaced by frustration over the difficulty of attaining security. We emphasize the problem of purposelessness because the liberals and leftists would wish to solve our social problems by having society guarantee everyone’s security; but if that could be done it would only bring back the problem of purposelessness. The real issue is not whether society provides well or poorly for people’s security; the trouble is that people are dependent on the system for their security rather than having it in their own hands. This, by the way, is part of the reason why some people get worked up about the right to bear arms; possession of a gun puts that aspect of their security in their own hands.

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

Insomnia. Top tentocles.

Danny said...

I took a good fall yesterday and didn't hit my helme(n)tless head--just elbows and knees. Of course, the crash came when I grabbed for my cap to stop it blowing away on a downhill, so this is one case where a helment would have actually prevented the crash.

NHcycler said...

Bibshorts Man, a bike messenger?! Maybe in a parallel universe.

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

Great call on the crash video, Snobby. Analysis worthy of Phil Liggett. Maybe we can call it scranalysis.

Anonymous said...

What's with the pre-dawn post? Did Snobbie move to Europe (aka Scandinavia's scranus) without telling us?

Anonymous said...

" Did Snobbie move to Europe ..."

We, he has been talking about getting out of the city, and he has been linking to Dutch cycle porn.

Anonymous said...

Hello from Idaho. Effing early WCRM!

Cheapo said...

If I install those bar end gun thingies I would have to buy new bar tabe as my usedinner tune wrap just will not do. Now to clean the sleep crust out of my eyes.

Cheapo said...

Damn fat fingers and eye crust.

If I install those bar end gun thingies I would have to buy new bar tape as my used inner tube wrap just will not do. Now to clean the sleep crust out of my eyes.

Mark said...

More coffee?

babble on said...

Holy Carp, Batman... it's still Stoopid O'clock over here on the Left Coast and you're posted and out on the road already??? Making hay before the rain comes, are ya?

babble on said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ermmurray said...

what the fuck is a "Foucauldian épistème"

P. Bateman said...

ouch. i'd say fredder Number 2 got the worst of that. a big fall and then to have another fredder come pounding down on you? ouch. unless you like being pounded down on then i guess its not so bad.

seems like it would be hard to dust yourself up and finish a group ride like that. most of the fredders i see in packs just are a loose association of folks that happen live near whichever coffee house they depart from, so not like they are best buddies. i know i would be pretty episteme'd the fuck off is some dingus i didnt really know knocked me off my bike like that.

P. Bateman said...

wait, there has been dutch porn? where was that? i want some dutch porn.

JLRB said...

Early scranus gets the scranus

N/A said...

Well, look who's all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed this morning!

JB said...

I would buy that t-shirt. Who's got the rights to the non-plussed bibshorts guy photo?

The dry-erase board for the moving bar ends is terrible, which means it's probably genuine. Most Kickstarters have an artist come in and draw Michelangelo-like drawings for effect.

I text my wife when I finish a mountain cycling bike ride. She thinks I will be mauled by a bear or something. ("Something" = run into tree)

janinedm said...

Shoot. I've got flat bars on one of my bikes and I regularly grip it 3 ways 1) regular, 2) pretty chill with palms on the bar ends 3) super chill with my thumb hooked over the top and my palms facing forward. But then, I've never been a bike messenger. Also, I dropped in so early because I just realized that the anachronism in yesterday's story wasn't the penny-farthing, it was a school having music education.

Point of Fact said...

"... anachronism in yesterday's story wasn't the penny-farthing,..."

The P-far link was in yesterday's comments, not in the story.

Unknown said...

The Fred crash analysis, havn't laughed that much in a while.

Unknown said...

The Fred crash analysis, havn't laughed that much in a while.

Spokey said...

get up super earliest and can only score a top 1 score and 5 comments ago

janinedm said...

Point of Fact, you're the type who actually remembers the title of specific TV episodes, aren't you?

Schisthead said...

I'm watching that slo mo without sound. It's enchanting.

They should do that on an ice rink, Diz-nee should hire them.

Point of Fact said...

"...you're the type who actually remembers the title of specific TV episodes, aren't you?"

No, the type that does not own a television.

Spokey said...


i thought the slo mo part of the video was the finest piece of performance art i have seen so far this yar

Point of Fact said...

I like to seem superior! I'm here to crap on all you plebes!

P. Bateman said...

Point of fact - do you remember the specific title of the dutch porn? i ...have a friend...that would like to know.

Anonymous said...

Specific title of recent posting of Dutch
cycle porn.

P. Bateman said...

ohhhhh....right. hmm. not as sexy as bibshorts dude. i mean recumbababe.

Victor Kaminski said...

vsk said ...


So much glare this morning. I guess I better leave for work before the sun comes up.

vsk

Anonymous said...

My best "I used to be a bike messenger" came in a grocery store parking lot and was car related. A late model pick-up careened in almost taking out myself and my 2yo (well close enough for sleepy parking lot standards), but his real goal was to catch up to an old man in a minivan who had been driving too slowly for said messenger's taste. The guy pulled up to the old man's window and began shouting at him, berating his slow driving. For parity, I thought I'd lay into reckless pick-up guy with similar volume. His retort, "Hey I know how dangerous the roads are, I used to be a bike messenger."

Spokey said...

and what was uma? a flash in the pan?

uma uma uma

   uma uma uma

         uma uma uma

                  uma uma uma

Spokey said...


what a wasted life.

not only have i never been a bike messenger

but i was the only wanker in this country who needed sheckles for his tuition and continued working that summer so i didn't go to woodstock.

herzogone said...

Mike Lane also looks a lot like the pedi-scope guy, who also happens to be named Mike Lane. Although the pedi-scope Mike Lane lived in Brooklyn back in April, and it seems unlikely that anyone would ever move from Brooklyn to Portland.

Also, I still like Primus, bar ends, and I only remove pie plates if they're damaged.

balls™ said...

I do still like my bar ends, but I haven't purchased an off-road bike since the Clinton administration (the blowjob one).

When I used to spend Saturdays riding in big groups of Freds, the most useful bike-handling skill I learned was recognizing the riders to STAY AWAY FROM (yes, most of them).

The only bike messengers in my downtown deliver Jimmy-John's.

sTONEdEADLAND said...

PRIMUS SUCKS!!

crosspalms said...

I think the only time I had my front wheel go out from under me, it was thanks to wet leaves on a tight turn at pretty low speed. One minute I was upright, the next I wasn't. No injuries, just embarrassment. So far that's been the story of all my bike-related mishaps.

Carlos Caliente said...

Excellent Scranalysis! First Fred 1 takes a direct hit to his pants yabbies on his top tube, then right after he hits the deck he takes another hit to the pants yabbies from Fred 2's front wheel. If that's not a real "Foucauldian épistème" then I don't know what is!

Primus said...

Big Brown Beaver

Home Now said...

I used to be a bike messenger. My mom would make me ride to the park to tell my brother to get his stoned ass home.

David Pearce said...

Gotta Love, Gotta Love, Gotta Love that crash! At first I thought, "damn, that guy is efficient!": One crash takes out all three riders.

Reminds me of a cigarette: A "Lucky Strike". But were Lucky Strike cigarettes named for bowling or named for gold mining, or some of both?

Then I realized, no, not a strike, the guy taking the video is the spare!

Moral of the story, always keep ahead of the Fred with the white tires!

Spokey said...


DP

LSMFT

Steely Danzig said...

"I used to be a bike messenger." I didn't, but I would buy that shirt, honestly, do it. I also like Stevil's sticker: "I guess I was punk once."

Roille Figners said...

You used to be a bike messenger? Oh do tell. I used to be in a band. WOW!

So, his back is bad on the bike, and his back is bad at the desk. And for some reason instead of working that bitch with some squats or deadlifts or something, he's like "I know, I'll fix it with my brain!"

"But doesn't all that time spent designing hurt your back?" Be on the lookout for an infinitely recursive/fractal series of Kickstarter campaigns, each one inspired by the back pain suffered while working on the previous one.

Kenny Banya said...

The mannsierre, because "The Bro" was too ethnic

Anonymous said...

Thank you Snob for consistently making me laugh out loud damn near every day, excluding weekends and increasingly frequent and extensive vacations.

Schaden-Fred-e said...

Why do I love watching Freds crash?

Frodo of the nine fingers said...

That bar end design looks like a pinky remover. Put your finger through the hole like this... And divert all your attention away from what's in front of you for a few seconds while you try to adjust it like this...

David Pearce said...

Spoke-🔑,

Message understood.

Now going to get toasted....

:-)

il Pirata est Mort said...

The most riveting frames since Zaprudar.

At 35 sec. is Fred's front tire coming apart?

Roille Figners said...

Sometimes now that torrents exist I'll go back and see what a band has been up to ever since I stopped paying attention to them. When I did that with Primus it was less disappointing & more listenable than with, say Mudhoney.

I.Nitials said...

LSMFT = Liposclerosing Myxofibrous Tumor ?

Grump said...

I got a good laugh out of that crash.

wishiwasmerckx said...

A good demonstration of the true power of advertising. Lucky Strikes have not used "LSMFT" in an ad campaign since the early 70's, yet almost everyone on here knows exactly what it means.

Scary.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

64 miles in 2 days. No helment, no crashing just nice early fall scenery. I was wearing the whoo-hoo cap though.

David Pearce said...

NGTGT

Now Going To Get Toasted.

You have been warned.

grog said...

"My heart and soul are firmly in the dirt." Dave Wiens

Anonymous said...

LSMFT product placement: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2QuAzBuY4c

Stubby Ends said...

I cut down my bar ends very short, not so much as to use as an alternative riding position (as I found I seldom used them for such), but to create a more stable platform with the bike inverted for fixing flat tires, the tips of the ends providing a wider stance than the housings of the shifters use to.

Richard Breaks said...

Regarding the dipshit with the bar ends: Weight loss and pilates (or some other core strength and flexibility exercise) would have been a better, more permanent, and completely fucking stupid solution. And I suspect that by "former bike messenger" he means that he formerly masturbated while fantasizing about bike messengers.

Gideon said...

i really wish I had something to add today.

Richard Breaks said...

I meant "and less completely fucking stupid solution."

McFly said...

If I want blunt impact I will move to Washington/Oregon state.

Anonymous said...

Bike messenger - Bib shorts guy tee shirt. Yes, you must make this happen and I shall purchase and wear to all formal occasions...

Makeout said...

"loose straps equals floppy tits"
'

Anonymous said...

Snob, behold the power of the "hipster highway":

http://www.dnainfo.com/chicago/20151005/wicker-park/meet-guy-who-commutes-on-this-old-time-penny-farthing-bike

P. Bateman said...

my univega alpina from '96 came with cool ass bar ends. i liked them and if i had not given that bike away i would still like them. they were good for climbing.

now i wish i had it back.

RETURN TO ME ALPINA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Keep Portland Werid said...

Giant Rideable T-Rex Art Bike

Mentally Unstable said...

Yes, Stubby Ends, I see now how that would work. If one were to think of the contact points of the inverted bicycle forming an isoseles triangle with either the shifter housings or the bar ends forming points 'A' and 'C' and with the saddle forming point 'B', then the opposet of point 'B' being a geater length, using the contact points of the bar ends rather than the shifters would definitely increase the overall stability of the stucture.

Freddy Murcks said...

I saw Primus once. The show was at Red Rocks and it included Pavement, Mudhoney, Sonic Youth, and Primus. It was all great except for Primus. I was high as hell and I found Primus and their fans to be exceptionally stupid and obnoxious.

P. Bateman said...

i always thought of primus (minus a couple decent, catchy songs) as sort of being about 1/2 step up from weird al.

Anonymous said...

Tilford still uses the bar ends in his "professional" mtb races.

While We are At It... said...

Stylish Multi-Functional Bike.

Oh my god. Oh. My. God.

hipster tires

Elite fixie fashion

Redneck DEATHTRAP! tiff mower

Anonymous said...

And what's wrong with Weird Al?

Some Damned Blue Collar Tweaker said...

We're the backbone of this town!

PRIMUS SUCKS!!

Spokey said...


i have spinal stenosis and when my back is well a pain in the back i find that taking a ride eases the pain. a PT told me that it was probably due to stretching the spine so the disks weren't so compressed and pinching nerves vs sitting at my desk designing shit (well so called software).

he also provided among other things, electric shock treatment which i absolutely loved.

Spokey said...

PB

it's all about the getting there.

i don't particularly like toast, but getting toasted is an entirely different matter. i think the title of my next book will be It's Not About the Shot Glass

P. Bateman said...

oh nothing at all. i just thought primus was one half of a step up.

slightly above that is where i'm gonna guess the band, that i can only assume Snob was in, would reside on that list.

if i had to guess a name for the band that i can only assume he played bass for:

Death Cab for Booty

crosspalms said...

I'm surprised the spelling Freds haven't shown up yet to put the c in isosceles, he said smugly while trying not to look like a spelling Fred.

Anonymous said...

"Giant Rideable T-Rex Art Bike"
how much how much how much how much?
Priceless?
Cool description.

Anonymous said...

I never would have considered the Inverted Stability Ratio (ISR) of a bicycle before. With the minimal length of some of those hipster fixed gear handlebars the ISR must be dangerously low.
Something should be done.

Anonymous said...

I never would have considered the Inverted Stability Ratio (ISR) of a bicycle before. With the minimal length of some of those hipster fixed gear handlebars the ISR must be dangerously low.
Something should be done.

Anonymous said...

Thank you, While We are At It.
Awesome stuff. Awesome!
'Mericuh Nummer Won!

Last One said...

Manly Bike for Sale

Anonymous said...

Podium level Fred-crash analysis today. Sides still splitting.

When I was 10 I had a yellow Schwinn "Varsity" and loved to look down and watch the gears shift up and down whilst riding. Until I ran straight into a parked car. Ended up on the hood with my face planted on the windshield but amazingly no injuries. have to say that that one crash improved my bike handling skills because I have never ever in 45 + years pulled the maneuver in the video! I, too, hope they are all okay.

JLRB said...

Find a fucking Mike Lane and get away from him!!!

Funny CL Tough Guy said...

Those screws can be replaced with shiny new ones, but if you're going to go to that trouble why not just punch yourself in the balls since you're probably a dickless lizard who doesn't like to look intimidating.

Spokey said...


like we need any more loose screw fuck-o(e)s in the commentary

Victor Kaminski said...

vsk said ...

Always wanted to go for a ride on a Coker Monster Cruiser.

Makes a 29-er look like something that should have training wheels on it.


vsk

Anonymous said...

Quality post, and reminds me of the best internet conversation about "bum bars" http://www.bikeforums.net/singlespeed-fixed-gear/585083-bum-bars-new-risers.html

JLRB said...

what's wrong with a choppy pedal stroke?

Leave your comment said...

causes front wheel slip

Spokey said...


shifting in to my man gears

Spokey said...


and going for the

Spokey said...



tuesday century

nscadu 9 said...

The clown shoe clomp. Notifying spouses, room mates and coffee shop patrons that your Fredventure is done.

Anonymous said...

I used to be a bike messenger. ~1989-90 Philly, Choice Courier. I'm old.

Anonymous said...

"Quality post, and reminds me of the best internet conversation about "bum bars""

FYI in the UK the word "bum" does not refer to a tramp, hobo, vagrant, etc. Look from the side at drop handle bars that have been turned up, especially those that have been flipped around, like on artistic bicycles.

Anonymous said...

+ 1 to the hobbit who mentioned those bar-end triggers being handy finger removers. I couldn't help but think about having your finger tucked in there and having a hard fall.
That said, they would make great cigar cutters for your uber-douche rider, or a lovely accessory for today's mohel on-the-go.

Eh Squared said...

Oh crosspalms, you can be so obtuse with your trigonometrical spelling issues, could be a sine of some sort of acute mental disfunction.

Freddy Murcks said...

I think that the fred crash may have been caused by White Tire Fred's Chinarello. The stickers on the bike say it's a Pinarello, but I'd bet there's a good chance that fredder bought a cheap Chinese knockoff. Or he an uncoordinated idiot who should not be allowed to ride a bikecycle.

DB said...

Yankees! Chic announcer! Rehab! Game on.

Dooth said...

Feeling guilt from laughter, thanks to the Fred crash...fredenfreude.

P. Bateman said...

i've got 99 problems, and currently i estimate women are making up 45% of them.

My brain hurts said...

You are being a bit hard on the Kickstarter folks. If they save only $1 then surely they have whittled down the $79,100,000,000 bill to $78,099,999,999 which isn't something to be sneezed at.

As my helmet promoting brethren say, one less person sucking oatmeal through a straw is one less person sucking oatmeal through a straw*. Usually followed by won't someone think of the children?

(*I have no idea why they are usually fixated on plastic hat wearing and sucking oatmeal through a straw, but geez I didn't make the rules, I just sit back and watch the players in disbelief).

Holy Roller said...

Jesus would just not have worried about what all you sinners have been worried about. Forget the trappings of material things and give your money to the Lord.

bad boy of the north said...

ouch!watching the white tired fred vid.wonder what his riding pals said afterwards.
thanks snob,for the analaysis.

jodphoto said...

Two things.

Mike Lane should focus his keen intellect on much needed tits for rattlesnakes.

Also, bum bars with reverse levers rock.

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

The only way the video could be more hysterical would be if Fred $, with the camera, managed to crash when he went back to help out his Fred Friends

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

That would be Fred 4, not Fred $

Holy Roller said...

All you sinners beware of the white tired fred, for in the error of his ways he will surely lay you low.

Doc Sarvis said...

"Bum bars" are two or more sets of bar ends mounted in series on a Walmart bike.
The photo you showed was of a "Hippie flip"

N/A said...

Drop bars flipped up are widely known as bum bars or DUI bars.

JLRB said...

My theory - white tire Fred sees Fred 4 go by and mugs for the camera and decides to put on a show of force that does not go well (except for everyone who gets to watch)

Fred 3 lands directly on Fred 2's arm

The Yankees are down to 2 more outs

McFly said...

Around these here parts we call flipped curvy bars the Crackhead Setup.

Les Claypool said...

What else would you expect from a band whose main attraction is the bass player?

bad boy of the north said...

damn extra "a".

bad boy of the north said...

what?no early snobbery?

N/A said...

You also can't spell "Innovation" without "Vino Nation" which... well I'm not sure what the hell that means. A country of wine drinkers? Maybe. It's 9:30 here, is that too early for a glass?

Spokey said...


N/A

fine for a nice merlot or similar red. but much to early for a mild white.

Anonymous said...

Crash Fred Dummy is holding the drops while sticking out his tongue over the stem AND he's off the saddle while riding on a decline. A few a seconds later he's flat on his back writhing in pain or embarrassment. Let that be a lesson: respect the bike!

BamaPhred said...

Has anyone mentioned Fred 2's front tire nailing Fred 1's pants yabbies, after Fred 1 has already nailed them on the top tube? Yowza! And how much crabon was destroyed? The horror, the horror. Not really.

charisa dewatari said...

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Anonymous said...

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