The Indignity of Commuting by Bicycle: Living Here

New York City:

(Please note Philadelphia now stands in for New York City as our skyline has become way too expensive.)

You of course know it as the most bike-friendly city in America, and you'd better believe we're living up to that reputation, as this comment on yesterday's post makes abundantly clear:

vsk said ...

TIRE SPIKES !!! 2nd Ave + 14th Street NYC

I'll repeat it tomorrow because it's impOtent...

About 8 pm to 8:10 pm, someone put 6 tire spikes on the 2nd avenue bike lane about 30 feet north of the intersection of 14th street. 
I abruptly found this out as I got 2 flats. It felt like the bike ran over a stick and the tire shifted sideways and then the pssfssfssfss... I'm glad I had the idea to go back and look. 6 sheetmetal squares with the corners ripped and pointed in opposite directions were placed in the bike lane. Someone told me they are caltrops ... exactly as seen here...

The good - I think I was the first there as no one was doing any tire changes at the time. 
I got the things off the road so no one else would get screwed. 

Stopped by the precinct on 21st and 2nd. Stupid protest going on. They had their hands full. Called 311 ... "Did you remove them?" -Yes "That's commendable but I can't do anything".
I'll stop by the precinct on the way home and file something... 

Watch out for these things now...

vsk

Sounds about right.  Someone (or somesones, which is the plural of "someone") used to scatter thumbtacks in the Central Park roadway to stymie the old night ride, and I fell victim to that ploy once or twice back when I was a young Fred.  This attack does seem a bit more concerted though, at least judging from the spikes to which "vsk" linked:

These Ninja caltrops are the perfect addition to your ninja bag. No matter how they land, there is always a sharp edge pointing up.

--Great for booby traps
--Stainless steel construction
--Set of 10

I love that there are apparently lots of delusional role players out there pretending to be ninjas by carrying "ninja bags" and chasing each-other around barefoot.

Until now I thought ninjas were the embodiment of lethality, but evidently you can easily thwart them by wearing a sturdy pair of shoes.

Meanwhile, here's "Vision Zero" in action:

(Via Streetsblog)

Cops doled out fewer tickets to bad drivers in Williamsburg’s Hasidic neighborhoods because the de Blasio administration covets their votes and needs to keep them happy, a source said.

“They pander and he gives them a lot of what they want,” a former mayoral liaison said. “De Blasio is known to have tight ties to the Hasidic community.”

Moving violations in the 90th Precinct, which includes an enclave of 70,000 ultra-religious Orthodox Jews, plummeted 32 percent since de Blasio took office, NYPD records show.

Wow, no "Oy Vey-sion Zero" headline?!?

The Post really dropped the matzoh ball on that one.

Religious leaders “get in with the Police Department and do their thing,” the former official said. “I’ll tell you one thing, they didn’t all take driver’s ed and change their driving habits.”

No they did not--though they are brainwashing their young about helme(n)ts:

If you want to know why New York City's unofficial slogan is "No Criminality Suspected," it's because if you ticket religious groups who vote in blocs they won't vote for you, and if you attempt to hold union members accountable for running people over they'll sue your ass, but if you mess with cyclists the worst they'll do is put some flowers in the bike lane:

Ooh, scaaary!

They should have put helme(n)ts on top of the cones, because as I can understand it they're like Kryptonite to drivers and repel any and all danger.

Meanwhile, every so often I wonder why I still live here.  After all, there are certainly better places to ride a bike, and due to late-onset food allergies I can't eat pizza or bagels anymore, so really what's left for me here?  Therefore, in an attempt to convince myself otherwise, I headed off for a ride and immediately fell back in love with the city again.  For example, there's the inspiring architecture:

(Municipal Flat Block 18A, Linear North)

This particular stretch of the Harlem River always makes me think of this scene from "A Clockwork Orange:"

Then there's the ironic signage:

(Reduced from what?  Before they built the bridge?)

I'm sure I've mentioned this sign before, but I'm still wondering to what sort of vehicle this sign could possibly apply.

Seems to me you could fit a battleship under there.

Then there's the streetscape:

I really need to throw a pair of old Sidis up there.

And of course Central Park:

For a moment I imagined this was genuine non-Cat 6 helme(n)tless bike traffic, but as I passed them I realized they were all European tourists.

Oh well.

Of course one of the only noticeable effects of Vision Zero on cyclists is that the NYPD will now ticket the fuck out of you for running a light on your bike in Central Park, so I made sure to stop at this one, especially because there was a police car lying in wait--though as I came to a stop the police drove right through the red light just as a bunch of pedestrians were entering the crosswalk:

I like when they lead by example.

Best of all, that fall crispness is in the air, bringing with it a new wave of seasonal allergies as well as the setting up for the New York City Marathon:

By this time I was hungry, so I decided to get a slice of pizza, and then I remembered I can't eat pizza anymore so I just sat under the bleachers and cried.

Of course I could always just move away from New York and only visit when I feel like riding like an asshole, just like Lucas Brunelle does:



I think we all know that any type of bike is faster than any type of car in mid-day Manhattan crosstown traffic, but the outcome might have been different if Brunelle had encountered some tire spikes.

In any case, I'm sure Specialized is preparing a lawsuit since he raced a McLaren without promoting a Venge in a masturbatory fashion:


It will be a long time before anyone out-Freds that review.