Further to yesterday's post about the High Bridge, I neglected to mention that Edgar Allan Poe used to frequent it:
Poe lived for awhile in a small cottage in what is now the Bronx, in what was then the rural village of Fordham, and if you're a fan of both Poe and cottages you can still go visit it:
If you do there's a really good Vietnamese place nearby, and if you ask nicely maybe I'll tell you where it is.
Anyway, I'm sure it was quite the little love shack*--until Poe's wife (and first cousin) Virginia died of tuberculosis in it.
Bummer, dude.
*[FACT: the lyrics to "Love Shack" by the B-52s were taken directly from an Poe poem called "Abattoir of Misery."]
Given all of this, it's worth pondering what sort of bike Edgar Allan Poe--one of those artsy types who's prone to sulking--would have ridden today. I'd say either a Dutch-style bike like this one, since they go well with black capes:
Or maybe in his younger years a "murdered out" fixie like this one:
("Murdered Out In The Rue Morgue")
Incidentally, whenever anybody says "murdered out" I want to take the flat-brim baseball cap off their head and beat them about the face with it.
Also, speaking of yesterday, I rode home via the Hudson River Greenway, and just after the Fairway I encountered a woman blocking the entrance to the path with her stupid car for no apparent reason:
It was a beautiful day yesterday which meant there were lots and of cyclists using the path, so naturally the blockage was wreaking havoc with the bike traffic. I didn't bother saying anything because I've learned over the years that people who engage in this sort of antisocial behavior are at best assholes and at worst lunatics, and that therefore it isn't worth it. However, another rider did mention to her that she was blocking the bike lane, and her reply was as follows:
"KISS MY ASS!"
I was tempted to tell her that one would have to have a very large mouth to kiss that formidable posterior, but instead I continued on and thought about how miserable she must be to go around shitting on other people all day with her car and mouth.
In fact, she's probably almost as miserable as New South Wales minister for transport Duncan Gay, who is tearing out a protected bike lane in Sydney for no reason other than that he doesn't like cycling:
Duncan Gay, the New South Wales minister for transport, describes himself as “the biggest bike lane sceptic in the government”. On his journey in to the NSW parliament he has to drive past a $5m protected cycleway on College Street in Sydney’s central business district which was installed by Lord Mayor Clover Moore in 2010. Gay has ordered the cycleway to be removed, leading to consternation from cyclists in Sydney who point out that the College Street cycleway carries more cyclists in peak times than motorists on the adjoining road. They also point out that the path didn’t originally take a lane away from motorists so there has been no impact on travel time for motorists. (The College Street lane took the place of on-street car-parking.)
Wow. I guess "bike lane skeptic" is Australian for "asshole." I'd say that if anyone get killed after this it will be his fault, but of course nobody would blame him, because Australia has a helme(n)t law and their responsibility to cyclists ends there.
Meanwhile, some dumb magazine says Melbourne and Sydney are the 4th and 5th most livable cities in the world, in part because they "limit their nannying:"
“We’ve given extra marks to cities that limit their nannying and we’ve tried to give value to places where there’s something else we know is vital: freedom, grit, independence, a joy with life. We’re frustrated with city councils that are too quick to say no, places where parents never let their children run free and capitals that seem opposed to the odd late night out,” the magazine’s editor in chief, Tyler Brûlé, said in the magazine’s article.
Melbourne came in 4th, followed by Sydney, Stockholm, Vancouver, Helsinki and Munich. Last year’s top city, Copenhagen, slipped to the 10th spot, tied with Zurich.
Are you kidding me? They have helme(n)t laws! (As does Vancouver for that matter.) The only way they could nanny people more would be to breastfeed them.
And speaking of Edgar Allan Poe (inasmuch as it is code for EPO) the trailer for the new Lance Armstrong movie has "dropped:"
Whenever anybody says a piece of media has "dropped" I want to force-feed them their collaborative sneakers.
As for the real life Armstrong, he stands to lose it all:
"I'm not going to be sorry for certain things," Armstrong said. "I'm going to be sorry for that person who was a believer, who was a fan, who supported me, who defended me, and ended up looking like a fool. I need to really be contrite and sorry about that. And I am. I'm more worried about Mary-Jane in Ohio, and Doug in Pennsylvania, or Liam in Birmingham, or wherever.
"Listen, if I could walk the world and face-to-face apologize, I would."
By the way, just to put a human face on it, here's Doug in Pennsylvania:
He is indeed feeling quite let down, but it has nothing to do with his cycling hero's downfall.
Anyway, when I read the part about apologizing face-to-face I had two thoughts, in this order:
1) What's stopping him from walking the world at this point? He's been banned from every sport this side of cockfighting. Walking the earth seems like a pretty good use of his time;
and
2) Specifically regarding apologizing to everybody, this:
"The Jerk" is without a doubt the finest film ever made on the subjects of hubris and falling from grace, though I suppose I can't blame the makers of "The Program" for trying.
Lastly, on the subject of disillusionment, Justin informs me that the Lone Wolf has forsaken his bedazzled Lotus autographed by dopers:
And instead taken up the fashionable pursuit of fat biking:
This represents nothing less than a fundamental shift in the very nature of cycling.
105 comments:
top TEN. seriously, my toxic epidermal necrolysis is out of control
HE HATES THESE CANS!
Pointy birds?
and remember how i always wanted S shaped hedges and 3 swimming pools? well i got that too.
Some comments already
Snob, what shape are your hedges? i'm gonna guess they are also an S...for Stupendously good bicycle blogger.
And fuck you Ted
P. Bateman,
I do have a bathtub shaped like a clam.
--Wildcat Rock Machine
10 speed.
hope you sprung for the optional fur surround on that tub. makes drying a snatch. i mean..snap.
In the pack!
cycle
Quoth my dog: always pour.
The Lone Wolf even has a snazzy bell on his new steed. Wonder how he'll customize that Mongoose.
Drats! Beaten to the bearded clam joke.
Lone Wolf has abandoned the bedazzled Lotus? Do we know where the bedazzled Lotus is now?
My bedazzled bike business is going to collapse! Nooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!
Lance Armstrong is an asshole and a fraud and I will not be made to feel bad that he has become a pariah and that he stands to lose all of his ill gotten gains. He came from shit, he is a shit, and he should go back to shit.
On the subject of the Lone Wolf and his fat bike, I'd submit riding an urban(e) fat bike around LA is no more ridiculous that riding a bejeweled track bike around LA.
Lone Wolf! Lookin' good!
wow hot outside. the hemorrhoids are really acting up today
but still top tennis doubles
Fundamental shift!
I HAVE MIXED EMOTIONS ABOUT YOU LANCE!
Hittin' all the biggies today, B-52s, Maiden, Jerk, blue balls, Poe, Lance, Doug... but what about David Byrne? IS HE NOT AN ATTRACTION? micRo liP god dammit! MICrO LIp!
Hurry up, and bring your jukebox money!
If Lance has been banned from every sport this side of cockfighting, then at least cat juggling is still open to him. There's no greater ugliness than that.
BATH CLAM
BABE WASH
DOUG FRED
KISS MASS
I used ti simply ignore idiot drivers as you do, but lately I take out my cell phone and pretend to take photo or video of the offender and their license plate. It freaks them out and they often drive away quickly fearing police intervention.
With a last name like Gay, you have to expect a little bitterness about life. I am sure that Duncan Gay would have been a nicer person and, by extension, more accepting of cyclists if he had been blessed with a less ridicule-inducing name like Glasscock or Wiener.
Wasn't there a bar in the Bronx near that bridge named "Poe's Cozy Nook"?
DUNKIN WIENER
HIDING THE SAUSAGE
The terms, "Murdered out and dropped" remind me of my training rides.
I remember a stand up by Greg Proops, who apparently spent too much time in Australia, referring to Australia as Arkansas with a beach.
Having been to Arkansas, this makes me leery of traveling to Australia. Their culture of "Ultra-" everything from beer cans to marathons also scares me a bit. Add to that my employment by a two-faced, shithead company based in Australia with 9 of 12 employees in NYC being Aussie, well it has a lot going against in in my books.
Which is great because it means I can cheer without consternation for the Springboks.
As for Lance, well, he was King Dildo among a bunch of doping dicks. A fraud, a charlatan, and a jerk. If he was French they'd have built him a monument.
Snob and New Yorkers:
The Mrs. and I are headed for NYC July 2 and she bought the latest Lonely Planet guide to your city to check out restaurants we may have to visit.
The map in the book shows Manhattan from the Battery to the beginning of Washington Heights. There is no mention of anything to do in NYC up north other than the Cloisters.
Is this by design and you want all of us to stay away, or do the Lonely Planet folks think that all we do is go to Times Square and Rockefeller Center?
I'll be asking Leroy's Dog for things to do while we're there. That dog gets around.
PotbellyJoe,
My sense of it is that, culturally, Australia is America without the imperialism.
--Wildcat Etc.
I have heard Aussies referred to as the "Texans of the British Empire." Seems to be apt from all I know. That being said, one of my closest friends is an Aussie ex-pat. But it is notable that she no longer lives in Australia.
Found it:
GREG PROOPS: AUSTRALIA
I'm always looking for that place, you know, where there's no rednecks, that place where people get along, and I never find it. I went to Australia, right, and I thought Australia was gonna be a groovy, surfnoid, smoke-a-joint wombat, you know? 'G'day mate!' 'No worries!' And it's like Arkansas with a beach. It's a whole country with a 'No Fat Chicks' sticker on it.
Who remembers the Paul di Anno era? Not many!
cuzama, RATH CHAOWL, (de ne ne nehhh), yesama, RATH CHAOWL (de ne ne nehhh)
...
(de ne ne ne nehht..)
I'M CUMIN TO FIND YOU
(de ne ne ne nehht..)
OOOHH YAY-EE-YEEAHHH
OK fine
Lexus drivers are the worst.
On another note, I really want to try one of the fatbikes that they have at Target.
Edgar Allen Poe, Lance Armstrong & Lone Wolf walk intio a bar.
"OUCH" they said in unison.
"Nevermore", said EAP.
"I never tested Positive for that bar", said LA.
"Dude!" , said Lone Wolf.
Great Americans all. (But only one went to West Point)
Australia is like Canada, only more macho, more aggressive and more belligerent.
Both exist in a weird time warp of dated buildings, hairstyles and clothes (think 1980s or 90s). Both have a culture that revolves around beer. Both have really ugly women. Both have embarrassing politicians. Both are huge but people only live in 3 cities. Both are not really worth visiting (OK, Vancouver, Banff and the Great Barrier Reef are nice).
DB-
Go to Williamsburg, laugh at the faux Portland vibe & eat at Bamontes. Old school Italian restaurant. After the Dodgers moved to LA, Tommy Lasorda always ate there when he was in town to play the Mets.
LONE WOLF
DEAD 2ME!
vsk said ...
db -
Fireworks are over the East river this year.
vsk
vsk said ...
Yay! The Captcha works today.
I've learned to not yell at people blocking the byke lanes. SSspecially when the car is blue with a white stripe on the sides.
vsk
DB,
I don't know about that guide, but for the tourist looking to venture north there's always the New York Botanical Gardens. You can take the Metro North straight there from Grand Central, and between Grand Central and the NYBG that's two world-class landmarks in one shot. Crowded on the weekends but if you can get there on a weekday it's very relaxing.
--Wildcat Rock Machine
"Freddy Murcks said...
Lance Armstrong is an asshole and a fraud and I will not be made to feel bad that he has become a pariah and that he stands to lose all of his ill gotten gains. He came from shit, he is a shit, and he should go back to shit."........
Haters gonna hate!
Chillax, Fredbro, don't let it twist you up and bring you down.
Concerning the OZ pic. The lass in the back. Diagonal skirt/shirt thingy. Dat Ass mate. I wanna be down under.
didn't loggins and messina sing "house at poe corner"?maybe it was the nitty gritty dirt band.anyway,most people of a certain age will know whom i'm referring.
you're welcome.
Blue Ball Lanes must be just outside of Intercourse, PA.
But Canada does have Ms Babs and that skews the whole babe average back to normal.
Besides the Botanical Gardens there's the Bronx Zoo and the Yankees
NVER MORE
Anonymous 3:09pm,
Don't feed the ball players!
--Wildcat Etc.
Loving these mini travelogues.
first - on the subject of cars and bike lanes, there was a teaser for a news story here yesterday evening about an out of state/District police officer getting into it with a bicyclist over some road rage/blocking the bike lane thing, but I changed the channel
b - does Lane think he is Kwai Chang Caine?
3rd - When my media drops I reach for the toilet paper
Lance not Lane
I always thought it would be cool to go check out Australia, but the 20 hour flight was always a deal killer
Thanks for saving my ass 20 hours in a metal tube
JLRB,
When I go to England I feel like I'm in another country. When I went to Melbourne I felt like I was in another state--albeit with brutal jetlag.
--Wildcat Etc.
Anon @ 1:28 - Good strategy! Until they shoot you and take your phone
bad boy @ 2:58 post meridian
no. Jefferson Airplan, Crown of Creation album
no i'm not that age. but i act it on television
Snob, this is why I keep coming back.
And Wolf? What?
Alas.
PUMP KINS
that movie looks pretty fucking terrible. did I see Dustin Hoffman? Wonder what Lone Wolf does for a living?
Some of the very best ethnic restaurants in NYC are in Queens and Brooklyn and of course there are a million restaurants in Manhattan. The biggest concentration of good and interesting food in Manhattan is in the east village and lower east side, although both can get somewhat douchey on weekend nights. I would suggest afternoon drinking in the EV followed by an early dinner and then get the hell out of there before the bros start arriving en masse around 9-10PM. Bronx is not really known for its restaurants. So if that is your focus it is probably skippable. Although Botanical Gardens are worth seeing if that's your thing. They also have a zoo.
ima have to re evaluate my whole ethos now that LoneWolf has gone all FatBikeyBikey
it sort of makes me lose heart
or face
or lunch
wle
Can't get the image of you soaking in a big wet clam outta my head.
Australia, really, I guess can suck it.
Audience for Lance movie = audience for the FIFA film.
Robot shit seems easier. Is the world getting better?
Hell no. Thank God for scotch.
HR
While it's true that we have hamlet laws, we also have 94 pot dispensaries, and so the cops are so busyand/or stoned that they never ever enforce the hamlet laws. Thank goodness.
Anon@1:28. I do that too, and with stoopid pedals in the bike side of the bridge as well, thinking that one day I will do a post of shame. Fortunately, most drivers aren't carrying, though one woman did chase me down with her car one day. Witnesses called it in and she as charged and convicted of assault with a deadly weapon. Justice.
Il Pirata? Thank you. :) xo xo
Silly auto correct. Peds. Not pedals.
Thank you fellow commentors.
We are staying in the East Village this trip to experience a new for us part of the city.
Our daughter and husband live in Queens so we know Astoria.
Thanks for the advice on timing of the douchery.
Watching fireworks from Queens. Have some restaurants picked out in EV, looking at waterfront bars around Battery for something different.
Appreciate all your advice.
I only have two rules for my young daughter:
1. No riding on the back of a motorcycle (get your own)
2. No Australian men
LONE WOLF! No one rocks a fattie like the Lone Wolf. Wait, is that a euphemism?
DB, Arthur Ave in the Bronx for the best Italian restaurants in the new world.
Hey guys, what about Rao's? Is that all hype?
So NY's delights are the botanical gardens and Grand Central Station (for the architecture rather than the transport infrastructure, one assumes).
Well, here in the Sydney shithole, we got ourselves one of those botanical gardens which overlooks one of the world's most glorious harbours and is right next door to what is quite possibly the greatest piece of architecture of the past century, the Sydney Opera House. And under that architectural marvel's big broad steps there's bicycle racks for about 50 bikes. Don't youse Americans tell anyone though, they're not "advertised" and they're already pretty full most of the time, so just keep it between us, okay?
Now, to indulge in these clearly-superior-to-NY's attractions, you don't have to put aside your cycling principles and catch a friggin train you can just ride north down the College Street bike path which feeds onto Macquarie Street which you can tear arse down directly to the opera house. On Macquarie Street, NSW Parliament House is located, this is where Duncan Gay festers, you can pause outside and partake of the beloved traditional ritual of making lurid gestures and shouting; "fuck you, Dunc!" before continuing. Nowhere else can you enjoy such an ennobling cycling experience.
Say what you will about the dystopian cycling culture of Australia, but don't assume that therefore all your shit is necessarily better than our shit.
Anonymous 8:10pm,
I can assure you we don't think we're better, that's for sure.
No comment on the Opera House though...
--Wildcat Etc.
My name is of no matter. I am base in Canada. I strip the threads out of my crank arm by cross threading the removal tool. I wanted to commit suicide. I contacted Dr. omoye via email and the crank arm was removed from the bottom bracket in less than two days. My life is back!!! Thank you Dr. omoye the spell caster.
Anonymous 8:10pm:
My cousin married an Australian opera singer who has performed in the acclaimed opera house. But they chose Ann Arbor to live in. (On that "note", I recommend John Rose's Aural Map of Australia in the following film, which contains some petty police action on the steps of the Sydney Opera House: http://www.reachofresonance.com/)
I thought Alberta is the Texas of the British Empire. I'll argue that Texas and Canada are very similar in at least one respect: the bulk of the population lives in a very narrow geographical strip and busily builds a romanticized identity based on the handful of folks who live beyond those strips.
Lance could do a lot more good by stopping his apologies and go back to taking the offense.
I'm looking forward to WRM's forthcoming book of NY history and urban development... whatever form it's going to take.
Too bad Paul Walker has passed. He would make one sexy ass Lance.
Canada is a Rogue petrostate. The benefits of oil do not reach the average citizen, aka The Resource Curse. OTOH, I don't know what's up with Australia. Probably all the sunshine. At least their kids stay in school
Just returned from Sydney on a week of meetings.
For the most part, the cyclists in the city seem to be well behaved and orderly. I paid attention but didn't find one bike/car altercation the whole week I was there. I was on foot in the city a good amount of the time.
The Opera house was resplendent at night in her "vivid" projection mapping colors, but it did seem a bit garish after about 15 minutes of it.
Finished one night at Phillips Foote restaurant, (Typical tourist place, but good). Ordered the "Aussie Cut" beef and for the life of me couldn't tell the difference between it and a decent NY strip cut...
Speaking of fat bikes:
http://www.news.uwa.edu.au/201506117689/alumni/uwa-graduate-cycle-across-antarctica
Fat bikes are cool especialy with old guys as a bikers.
"Speaking of fat bikes:
http://www.news.uwa.edu.au/201506117689/alumni/uwa-graduate-cycle-across-antarctica
.
Here another woman who tried to ride a bike in Antarctica:
http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-16670463
http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-16345232
She discovered kite ski was a way more efficient and faster method of travel on that continent.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kite_skiing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SxdPYpgDqkA
I think the US-Aussie rivalry that is trying to brew is a result of us being so similar. Have you ever seen twins fight? Nasty stuff.
I went to college with twins who were on the wrastlin' team (Big10). Those bastards would get drunk and beat the absolute piss out of each other (every once in a while). Then other times, the two of them would take on a whole table full of dudes at a bar. I knew them only well enough to stay out of their way. Good times.
All around, people looking half dead
Walking on the sidewalk, hotter than a match head
vsk said ...
Beacuse you've heard it here first ...
http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/Bicyclist-Hits-Woman-Unconscious-Upper-East-Side-Victim-Intensive-Care-307055071.html
Police are "investigating" ...
I do like the bike lanes but I get claustrophobic in them sometimes.
I hope she will be OK.
vsk
Mongoose Fat Bike a.k.a. Walmart bike alias Wal-goose
Hey, programmers have inside jokes. I know, hard to believe programmers could have any sense of humor.)
But...a joke for bike nerds would be 2 x 8 = 14 [base don't x chain]
I guess you had to be there.
Poe might have thought of flinging himself off the High Bridge. He and his wife and mother-in-law had moved to the cottage
say no more
I think he invented the Poe'boy sandwich. (That joke was hiding in plain sight)
Fun Fact: Poe used to take his dog up to the racetrack in Yonkers. The dog had an exceptional ability to pick winners. Poe referred hisdog as, "The Fur-Loined Bettor".
My dog insists the original Pep Boys were Edgar, Allen and Moe.
Not falling for it.
DB - in Queens, check out the Lemon Ice King of Corona near Flushing Meadow Park. Try the lemon ice.
Fuck. That's a very nasty, bad, bad incident, Mr vsk. So sorry to hear it. :(
Should not that be Mr. k?
VSK - and Babs - Yes a bad incident - interesting that article describes it as cyclist hitting woman - got it correct, unlike vehicle incidents where it is the SUV doing the damage... the way the article is worded it almost sounds like the cyclist physical struck the woman as he/she cycled past?
Of course, we will all share the blame a bit - for the whom the bell tolls and what not
When the bike lanes of grease paint and plastic cigars were first implemented here in 'merica's dome I actually thought they meant something but quickly realized they are just a suggestion - cars may or may not pay attention - peds still have a right of safe passage in my book - not a right to not get yelled at when endangering themselves (and me)- but if it comes down to it I'll stop to avoid hitting some moron wandering around in the grease paint
The bike lanes on first avenue are separated from traffic by a lane of parked cars. When I'm in my bipedal/pedestrian mode I need to remember that I have an extra lane of speeding cyclists to check when crossing. (Also to look both ways...first ave is oneway going uptown, but delivery bike salmoning downtown can be deadly). In my two-wheeled cyclist mode, I consider the lane a death trap. Much like a multiuse trail, I don't exceed 15 mph, for fear of oblivious peds stepping off the sidewalk to get to the mini-islands in the parking lane & the left-turning drivers trying to run me down.
Leaving the scene is criminal.
"...one would have to have a very large mouth to kiss that formidable posterior"
Pure Gold, and factual too (extra points for that).
Aussies, two different Aussies told me the State of Queensland is supposed to be Redneck Central. If you Google up "Australia Queensland", on the map that comes up Queensland is colored in red.
Say what you will about Fat Bikes, but they're obviously doing The Lone Wolf a lot of good. He's looking pretty ripped these days.
"Lance Armstrong is an asshole and a fraud and I will not be made to feel bad that he has become a pariah and that he stands to lose all of his ill gotten gains. He came from shit, he is a shit, and he should go back to shit."
And he used to take lunches from classmates too. And when his mother wasn't looking he'd pull the cat's tail.
"He came from shit, he is a shit, and he should go back to shit." Oddly enough the only sponsor who hasn't dropped him is Charmin.
I know the course is closed but can I still claim the century if I don't need the SAG vehicle?
"There’s a scene in Edith Wharton’s 1913 novel Custom of the Country, where the wicked vixen Undine Spragg insists on speeding across the High Bridge in a “horseless carriage” before making her grand entrance at a party so as to rouge her cheeks with a cold snap of air whipping up from the Harlem River." - http://blog.archpaper.com/2012/08/slideshow-high-time-for-the-high-bridge-pedestrian-bridge/#.VXsrVhNVhBc
"I'd say that if anyone get killed after this it will be his fault, "
I'd say the verb-subject disagreement is YOUR fault, Mister Snobbiman.
dop 11:45:
Ostraaalyer is abeaht the awws, mite. The awwws.
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"Australia is like Canada" Yep. p.s. reef!
Fat bikes are cool especialy with old guys as a bikers.
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