You'll find them all in this video, tweeted at me by a Tweeterer:
Looks like the old front tire decided to stop cooperating with the road surface right about here:
As tempting as it may be to blame the tridork, judging from the whine of motors in the background I'm going to go ahead and speculate that some moto-weenie's crotch rocket is leaking oil and befouled the road surface
Anyway, here's a shot of a bloody coccyx to start your week off right:
Hopefully he's back up and riding soon.
Speaking of thrills and chills, I got an email the other day:
We made a video, its has to do with cycling!
Hey BSNYC, I made this video with my siblings, and we are trying to become world famous and hope you will help us spread the fame! Keep entertaining, you are where I get all my cycling news, tips, and product reviews. We love you. Thanks! -Kevin
Now that's the way you cyclocross:
I love you too.
Moving on to the World's Worst Cycling Country, a bunch of tridorks outside of Melbourne were attacked by a motorist wielding a bat:
A motorist wielding a large wooden bat attacked a group of cyclists after screaming abuse at them, one of the riders has claimed.
A triathlete, who requested to be known only as Brad, said he was riding with his coach and five other cyclists on Point Nepean Road at Rye on the Mornington Peninsula on Saturday morning when they were confronted by a man on the street, waving the bat.
He said the same man had driven past them earlier, screaming abuse.
This sounds like it could be the work of noted cricketing douche Shane Warne:
Except that Warne used his car as a weapon, whereas the bat-wielding motorist abandoned the bat with a dramatic flourish and then went at the tridorks mano a mano:
"He said, 'I'm not going to need it anyway,' and that's when he started using his hands. He was very physical. He became more and more aggressive.
"He ended up on top of my coach and after a bit of struggling, one of our riders was able to pull him off. The fighting ceased for a few seconds, but then the male driver became aggressive again and attacked one of our other riders, striking them."
Fortunately, the cyclists escaped serious injury. They were left with bruises and scratches.
Note how the motorist first humped the coach in order to assert his dominance.
By the way, I've ridden in this general area myself, though I didn't make it all the way down to where the triathlon coach-humping incident occurred. Instead, I made it to about here, at which point boredom compelled me to turn around and head back to Melbourne:
It was either that or try to swim home.
And in Fredly news, a guy named Fred is resurrecting the Austro-Daimler bicycle brand by harnessing the awesome kickstarting power of Kickstarter:
Vintage branding aside, this would appear to be just a plastic bike like any other, so I think they're going to need more than a mild-mannered guy with a popped collar to distinguish themselves:
What they need is a dynamic spokesman, someone who's both photogenic and brimming with charisma. Somebody who embodies the very essence of cycling. Someone like this guy:
Might also want to think about a new logo. Granted I've got babies on the brain, but the present one is a little too close to this:
In a pinch it makes a pretty good chamois cream.