Let's move on.
What with the new Antarctic Blue hats I'm hawking I fully expect to move into a higher income bracket any day now, so I'm already shopping for a new apartment in the $10 to $20 million range. Naturally, I turned to the New York Times Real Estate section, and they had some good advice for me:
You can spend tens of millions on a high-end condo, but don't forget to budget for a place to store your skis or house your children's au pair.
Tell me about it! Right now we're keeping the au pair on the top shelf in the coat closet, and I'm getting tired of rummaging around up there for her--then when I finally do manage to pull her out, the butler, maid, and landscaper come tumbling down along with her...followed lastly by a bowling ball for comic effect.
Fortunately, when you're house-hunting at my level, storage is a bargain:
With the starting price of $72,000 for the 36-square-foot storage unit at 56 Leonard, for example, the price per square foot comes to $2,000. “That kind of makes sense,” Mr. Miller said, when you consider the apartments there have been selling for as much as $4,000 a square foot.
Besides, he added, “What’s $72,000 on a $50 million sale? It’s a rounding error.”
Interestingly, $72,000 is a rounding error until the city wants you to pay a pied-à-terre tax or help fund public kindergarten, in which case it becomes a communist plot. After all, why should the gub'mint get to dip into your cigar-lighting money?
Really, though, the point of all this is that you'd think people shopping for $50 million apartments and tossing in another $72K on storage would have nicer bicycles:
Seriously, what gives? Looks like a a prop from the 1997 Nashbar catalog.
Meanwhile, the Village Voice reports that the NYPD may be harnessing the awesome power of gratuitous bicycle ticketing to wrangle those pesky non-whites:
"There are more sidewalk stops in the same neighborhoods where there are more stop-and-frisks," Stephan tells the Voice. "Institutionally the practice is even more nefarious, because people in these neighborhoods are starved of a resource [bike lanes] and then penalized for turning to the next logical option available. It's like the city failing to give a neighborhood a park and then criminally charging children for playing in the street."
A ticket for biking on the sidewalk can easily evolve from a traffic violation to a more serious crime if the accused fails to respond to the summons.
"What might seem like a matter of petty over-policing in neighborhoods of color is actually giving thousands of people of color a criminal record," Stephan says.
Conveniently, receiving a summons for riding on the sidewalk requires an appearance in court:
A summons requires a defendant to appear in court on a specific date to contest or pay his or her fine. If the accused misses the court date, an arrest warrant is issued, typically unbeknownst to its target.
Unlike killing a child on the sidewalk in front of her school with your car, which is perfectly acceptable:
But don't worry, because "Vision Zero" is here, and Mayor De Blasio assures us the NYPD is going to going to step up its bicycle enforcement:
De Blasio acknowledged that motorists striking bicyclists is the primary threat to bike safety and that increased enforcement against drivers who speed and fail to yield will also benefit bicyclists. He then pivoted to the administration’s efforts to ticket bike riders.
“We also know that there are some bicyclists who have acted inappropriately, and we have increased enforcement activity towards them,” he said. “This is going to be equal opportunity.”
Sounds about right.
All of this, of course, is why we're America's Most Bike-Friendly City:
I suppose next we'll see Monrovia topping Condé Nast Traveler's list of top-100 vacation destinations:
Speaking of which, Americans watched in horror yesterday as a perfectly healthy woman rode a bicycle through the least-densely populated state east of the Mississippi River (this is exactly how idiots think you get Ebola)--and astute bike nerds noticed that her boyfriend was riding a fat bike:
When it comes to bike-culture-meets-mainstream-culture moments, the fixie had "Premium Rush," salmoning had the Alec Baldwin arrest, and now the fat bike has The Ebola Ride Seen 'Round The World.
And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you are a genius, and if you're wrong you'll see someone traveling at just shy of Metric Fred "Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!" speed.
Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and let me know if you hear of any good mansions for sale.
--Wildcat Rock Machine
(That's his "Listening to REO Speedwagon" smile.)
1) Jens Voigt holds the cycling hour record.
--True
--False
(Cultural wasteland.)
2) A new report claims Canada has no:
--Cycling culture
--Doping culture
--Gun culture
--Agriculture
("Shut up baby!")
3) This morning, Jens Voigt announced his intention to come out of retirement and set the hour-and-ten-minute record.
--True
--False
4) What is this straphanger drawing?
--His fellow passengers
--Bikes
--Dogs
--Porn
5) Marco Pantani is the Italian Tupac.
--True
--False
(In Copenhagen, nobody even shines your shoes while you use the bicycle footrest. What a freaking dump.)
6) The biggest problem facing Copenhagen is:
--Increased popularity of motor vehicles due to falling fuel prices
--A shortage of bicycle parking
--The looming threat of a bicycle butler strike
--Those filthy Swedes
(Woosie.)
7) E-bikes are out, _______________ are in.
--Solar bikes
--Vegetable oil bikes
--Pneumatic bikes
--E-bola bikes
***Special "Is The Aero Helment Really Necessary Here?"--Themed Bonus Video***
126 comments:
Podio!
Friday at last.
and Podium.
Third in line?
SUB POIDIUM FISHINGSTICK!
UUUUNNHH!! DAMN!!
SCR NUS
(Simpsons knuckle tat)
How deep are they paying, anyway?
Scheiße
Snob, how the hell are you not clinically depressed from writing this stuff every day??? I feel depressed every time I read it. What's worst I don't see things change much because most people are just too stupid and politicians just don't give a shit.
TEN
FUNK WIZZ
Greeat quiz
I confess...I had the morning off & thought of riding..but it was 38 degrees American so I went to a spinning class (it's bad enough that I'm a triguy..this is a deeper circle of hell)
Long climbs out of the saddle listening to Al Green's 'Take me to the River', followed by speed work to the amphetamine riffs of Allman Bros 'One Way Out' and a slow climb out of the saddle to the long version of 'Stayin Alive'
Distracions: the my zone board which shows everyones pulse & the percentage of max rate they're riding..the board lights up blue for 60's, green for 70's yellow for 80"s & red for 90's..the board turns yellow for harder intervls (I found myself calculating riders ages from the data..Katy is 92% at 170? katy's about 35....)
Excellent week of postings Mr. Poster! Loved the opening "whatever - grow up" as there are several people of age running about my place of employment with witch hats,etc.
myzone is strava without the delayed gratification
ps - if you really want to know if you are Jewish, there is apparently a Rabbi around here that can tell you if you take a bath in his little shitshow peephouse pornshop of horrors
Friday! As for people dressing up, well let us just say that a lady in my office with DD is wearing a corset and a dominatrix getup.
Anyway, wow, Manhattanites are really getting ripped off for storage space. Don't you all have UHaul storage units there? That kind of lifestyle sounds like my own kind of personal hell. For those prices, it is a better deal to get a 2nd normal persons house in NJ or upstate and store your crap there, plus then you can totally try and fool society into thinking you are one of us lowly people. Anyways. Time to go look at boobies again
DOP - It appears myzone also lacks the pedestrian interaction Strava provides. So, Katy's about 35? Would she like to take a cleansing bath?
This "no criminality suspected" is complete BS. We need a cyclist-pedestrian Jesse Jackson. "It was an accident" seems to only work if you're behind the wheel of a car. If I'm cleaning my gun and it goes off and kills my kid/wife/friend, that's manslaughter, correct? Goddammit.
I'm proud to be considered an astute bike nerd, however.
Metric Fred WooHoo speed guy is motorpacing a bus while wearing over-the-ear headphones. Brilliant.
woo-how
top 18 million
Dop,
That heartrate/age thing is false.
Everyone's heart beats at different maximum rates. Sometimes wildly different.
motorpacing a bus while wearing over-the-ear headphones
That's going to end well. Hopefully, he's not in my insurance pool.
dop
yeah great quiz.
got a 71 this week. That's a 'D' here in snobbie's hemorrhoids. I'm really frightened that he will make go back and re-read all of this weeks posts.
Snobbie. I bought a nice bleu hat. Can that raise my quiz score to a 'C'?
robot thinks that buying a blue hat should count for 1009 points giving me an A++
Anonymous...I know the heart rate age thing is false, but I'm going to make the rash assumption that MYZONE is using the formula 220-age =MaxHR. As for lactate threshhold, none of the women seemed to be lactating (rimshot)
There's definitely a dirty old man factor, as weekday morning classes have about 3 men and 30 women.
What gets me is the number of people with spd's on their sidis
Good news: the next time that woman puts her car in reverse by mistake and then floors it in panic, and still keeps her license, the speed limit in this town will be only 25 mph. Progress!
Also, Canada's clitoris is apparently Toronto.
That's not Canada's ween is it? Because compared to Florida...
Canada has no...penis.
But we'll gladly give you Florida.
JB, did you time-travel?
Cape May is no Florida, but new jersey lokks pretty happy to see us
One Fucked Fucker
I'm guessing those injuries were obtained right about the time he *stopped* being a fugitive, but let's not argue minor details.
nice place for sale on chesterman's beach in tofino, on canada's (very) wet left edge. 3.19 million. not so coincidentally home to the most giant mushroom i have ever seen.
Not only was russian(?) dude motorpacing behind a bus while wearing headphones, he dropped the roadie filming it. On three inch knobbies.
I hope his dick breaks are as supernatural as his emergency-stop senses.
Happy Halloween, yeah, whatever, grow up.
Awesome. Got my daily affirmation and a quiz. Bonus Friday.
dop,
38 and snowy here in Chicago but I rode anyway. Ugh pretty much covers it. I'll have a pretty quick ride home, though, if they're right about the wind.
Happy Halloween everyone!
cycle
Damn. Nothing historical to comment about today. Just hysterical stuff.
Whoa....missed everything. Mid pack fodder.
Ha! I will NOT grow up. I am living proof that whilst you are only young once, you can remain immature indefinitely.
And so I am wearing my favourite Eyes Wide Shut mask all day long, and all night, too... :)
I tried to boost your ability to buy a mansion this week with my two cents, dear Snobi Wan.
Fun Size candy is a lot of damn work for very little reward.
Probably like curating a blogulation.
CD, I thought you were (very quickly) replying to me. No? Weird.
Really people, stop complaining about housing prices. $4,000 a square foot just means you buy 10 square feet. You sleep in shifts, you wear one set of clothes like carton characters. Some poor zoomer paid $4 a square foot in 1969 and the next generation needs to just suck it up and charge your kids $4,000,000 square foot. It's classic fuck'em school of economics.
fidelio
JB, we've got Nova Scotia in an aero tuck.
Yeah, Florida's big, but it's gotta be the blue pill capital of the world, so why's it still droopy?
vsk said ...
SAFETY LAST !
At least that's what it says on the Manhattan Bridge bikepath graffiti.
Happy Halloween!!
vsk
Scranus
I am beginning to think that "vision zero" is just a clever euphemism for the police turning a blind eye to the daily carnage caused by cars on New York's streets. Run some over with your car as a result of obvious malfeasance or misfeasance, no need to investigate because the police are legally blind. No criminality suspected!!! See, "vision zero" sure does streamline policing in the city.
Freddy Murcks: makes perfect sense. They plugged Sgt. Schultz's "I see nothing!" into a English-German translator, then translated it back to English, and out came "vision zero."
FM - So you think Vision Zero is like Sgt Schultz?
Damn, the synchronicity is getting thick up in here.
OK Comment Deleted - get out of my head
Not that anyone who reads this blog lives in NYC but in my hood the DOT has completely revamped a couple troubled* intersections over the past few months. Still no speed cameras but this is progress and has made those intersections considerably safer. So that's a start.
* the sites of 3 car on pedestrian deaths in about a one month period earlier this year.
This one is pretty nice. Over 5000sq' and only 1.9 million Very affordable.
http://m.century21.ca/Property/MB/R3M_0A7/Winnipeg/755_Wellington_Crescent#/Property/MB/R3M_0A7/Winnipeg/755_Wellington_Crescent/Detail
Half Century podium!
My dog asked me to thank Mr. BSNYC for confirming his (my dog's, not Mr. BSNYC's) genius.
Ride safe all!
Youse gots version null
but wees gots our new Complete Streets announced by our mayor down here in the hemorrhoids.
To be fair i'll first point oot dat i haven't seen a pole-ees car parked in a bike lane since they announced it. Although eeys still seein many a truck.
But they jest repaved the road in front of the house i own. they've now repainted the stripes and shit (crosswalks etc). seems complete streets means no bike lanes. didn't have none in front of me but they started about 1/2 mile down. and now none. we'll see i guess.
so i think Complete Streets must mean all ass-fault is completely street. no biek lanes for you bastards.
your dog can't count
tom got the half century podi. is the dog hitting the sauce dish early this weekend?
The one footed track stand: Stuff White People Like.
Roland Green, Ryder Hjvsqzzdhlls, Michael Berry, Genvieve Jeanson, and whoever the fuck else all must have learned to dope on their own, because Canada obviously didn't/doesn't have organized systems of doping.
This one is pretty nice. Over 5000sq' and only 1.9 million Very affordable.
$1.9M for WINNIPEG? WTF...it's on the mighty Assiniboine, which kinda floods once a century or once a year, depending who you talk to.
oh, never mind, it has a garbage compactor and the lawn gnomes are included. steal.
@ Dop:
That spinning class playlist is not much better than Voigt's hour choices. Would'a kept me out of that spinning class.
And what's the deal with the surfboard next to the Nashbar beauty.
The Al Green and Allman Bros were fun..stayin alive not. It was my 3rd class this month..the most ridiculous thing I've heard so far was an extended version of stairway to heaven (disco mix)
Ohh, Dop, Dop, Dop.
Sounds like a good m/f ratio to me. They have money to spend on Sidis and not thinking twice about the price. I'm in! Where do I sign up? Can I do the metal head-banging thing when the R&R guitar solo goes off?
The worst part is some poor bike dork felt like he made a killing fit the shoes to the cleats in his shop where he earns less than a barista. What a depressing business.
Dear JLRB,
Regarding yesterday's shoutout to me, you make a good point about the the blue flames, like the Blue Angels, I guess. You said:
"AND, I wonder what color the methane ice creates when it burns".
Your link was to pretty cool stuff, so thanks & Happy Halloween.
************
My prove I'm not a robot is pretty appropriate, 2929, reminds me of the song
"[In the Year] 2929/
[If I can still read or write a line/
I'll prob-ly be here, commenting away/
'Til they come to haul me away!/
Whoa-Oh!]"
i'm proud to say i have that on a 45
ok so maybe proud is the wrong word
Dear Wildcat,
So You're the one who got Fibber McGee's Closet!
I'd say, on the the other topic, if I had a choice of whether to buy a 36 square foot storage locker for $72,000, it had better be a damn nice locker, not with that chickenshit low-class chickenwire, but the high-class stuff, you know?! Maybe I could just live in the storage locker?
Anyway, to paraphrase Camelot,
"Do the wealthy folk walk out in a huff/
When storing all of their stuff?"
What do they store down there, empty printer boxes, like me, in case they have to return the printer to the factory for service, which they never will, like me, but I still save the goddam box??
I've got a lot of stuff in my house, some I like, some I want to keep, but I bet $72,000 smackers could really make me a ruthless thrower-outer, so I wouldn't need a storage area!
Y'know, (as David Letterman would say),
This whole effete article about the rich and their au pairs and their demands and their needs is also why the Russian Revolution started.
And although the first bullets supposedly bounced off of the Tsarina Alexandra because of the diamonds sewn into her corset, eventually that night the Soviets did kill her.
Just to be clear, effete means affected, overrefined, and ineffectualor
no longer capable of effective action.
******************
Anti-robot:
House numbers, displayed nicely,
2
8
2
1
The house numbers were actually diagonal, top-left, descending to lower-right, but Snob's stupid blogger software does not support space-bar pushes.
Hey,I have a daily douche..
2
8
2
1
you need the rempla Railroad option
boobies
boobies
boobies
boobies
or
boobies
boobies
boobies
boobies
boobies
robot got excited and is moaning quonents muft
A happy scranus to all and to all a happy scranus
Holy she it the auto correct just corrected me to scranus
Jesus would ride a cyclo-cross bike if he had his druthers but history shows that he just got hung up on things that were beyond his control.
>"What might seem like a matter of petty over-policing in neighborhoods of color is actually giving thousands of people of color a criminal record," Stephan says.
Nothing new there. In HelmetStralia, when the bicycle helmet law was first introduced, the racist NT coppers thought it'd be jolly good fun to ticket all the Aboriginal kids for not wearing plastic hats. After these poor kids (poor in both monetary and victim of police terms) started ended up in jail for non payment of their plastic hat fines the NT govt saw sense and repealed the law. The NT is the only place in HelmetStralia where you can ride a bicycle without a plastic hat and not commit a criminal offence. And in spite of the "THEY ARE ALL GOING TO DIE" nonsense from the real cyclists of the southern states, the NT actually has a participation rate and people actually ride bicycles there - who'da thunk? God I hate helmet zealots.
I saw your latest Fly6 video Snobbo. 10 hours was a long time to have to ride around in front of that lady. How on earth did you manage that without getting a ticket?? Or perhaps you did. You should of had a person walking in front of you with a hidden camera to record the harassment you faced on your bike as you recorded the lady being harassed.
Thank goodness for bicycles, giving us straight, white males a way to claim the underdog status since mass production of the motor car!
Dear Mr. Spokey@2:48 --
My dog says you hurt his feelings, but he's willing to let bygones be bygones and confirm his victory.
He wants to know where he can send you a urine sample.
Personally, I think that's just the mimosas he had with brunch talking.
My dog also claims the 3/4 Century podium.
(I agreed to post his claim if he agreed not to mark his podium territory.)
you tell that mutt that who cares about the 3/4 podi when I got the 77/100 podi
so there
Freddy Murcks,
Let's give Canada's federation some credit for their past and present efforts. The report doesn't paint a perfectly healthy picture.
IMO, Jenevive Jeanson's situation is not quite the same as the rest of those mentioned. Her sad story is covered pretty good in a Toronto Star story.
It's worth mentioning, when Canada's cycling federation denied Jeanson a license because of her crazy blood values, Thom Wiesel and Steve Johnson at USA Cycling had no problem giving her a license.
Thom Wiesel and Steve Johnson are still running USAC. Now that's sick.
Looking the NYTimes article headline, I know it says
Creature Comforts, à la Carte
but I swear I saw it as
Creature Comforts, à la CASTE,
And that is pretty much what it represents.
****************
Meanwhile, when I was camping at the Charlottesville KoA for a visit my Mom in the nursing home, I encountered this German couple, Norbert Guthier & his wife.
They had this Gi-Normous 4-wheel drive truck based motorhome, that they said they were driving to Patagonia, on maybe no roads, or certainly on poor roads.
I didn't know it at the time, he's a commercial and artistic photographer of many decades, with many books, so it was appropriate, I said, "You've shown me this really heavy-duty motorhome imported from Germany, let me show you my small bits of German engineering, my Minox B, C, LX film cameras.
Anyway, he's got a lot going on, a lotta websites, photographs, nudes, travel blogs. You might like it. ICYMI !
Also, just ICYMI,
I've camped at the Charlottesville KoA all summer, and felt there was something out there.
And sure enough, couldn't be farther than two-three miles away from the KoA, off of Old Lynchburg Road, was the location where the remains of Hannah Graham were found.
You remember I started the website <a href="https://solveroute29abductions.wordpress.com>Solve the Route 29 Abductions</a>, and I still haven't done much with it except for the opening entry, but I will be posting the status of all these women who are missing now for many years.
****************
(And I'm not a suspect!)
(And that's why I didn't / couldn't celebrate any Halloween things this year, not that I do anyway, but I just can't look at a skeleton right now!! Goddam bastards who do this to women!!!)
You remember I started the website Solve the Route 29 Abductions, and I still haven't done much with it except for the opening entry, but I will be posting the status of all these women who are missing now for many years.
Goddam missing close-quote!
badcomputer_304u - I somewhat regret including Genevieve Jeanson in that list. After all she was just a child who was manipulated by her coach and doctor. Nonetheless, my point was was merely to point out that use of performance enhancing drugs was common among the who's who of Canadian cycling of the last 15 yrs or so. They learned how to do it somewhere. It is absurd to assume that there were no systematic doping programs in Canada.
Who has seen the wind?
the wind has broken
Just another routine Halloween. Now, let's get back to cracking down on those dangerous bicycles.
They don't know WHAT they're talking about. Canada has the biggest doping culture ever. After all, I AM Canadian.
Never mind Bob and Doug McKenzie....
Sheeesh. Pretty much the biggest doping culture in the history of forever is what you've got here.
CD - Wow. THAT's seriously depressing. At least they can't possibly say no criminality suspected.
Oh no! Like this
give me an S
S
Dive Me a C
C
Give Me an R
R
Give me an A
Give me an N
N
Give me a U
U
Give me an S
(bugger, miscounted the century) anyway, let's hear that S
SSSSS
WHAT'S THAT SPELL!!!
scranus
LOUDER
SCRANUS
I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!!!
SCRANUSSSSS!!!!!
I have a six speed cassette but I run a single speed chain, it's cheaper and seems to last longer too. What is the best chain lube out there for a commuter riding in rain, rain and more rain?
Sorry, I thought we talked about bikes here. Well, when in Rome then... Boobies, boobies, Wednesday weed, etc...
King,
I will happily discuss bike maintenance in an open forum.
Concerning your lubrication conundrum: Juices from the sweet sweet vajayjay have ideal wear properties to protect against viscosity and thermal breakdown.
How you get said exlixir from it's source point to your chain is a topic for another blog.
Regarding Snobbo's "10 Hours of Walking in NYC as a Women" Fly6 video, here's another loud mouthed Aussie commenting on shit he doesn't know about (well, he did visit NYC for 5 days a couple years ago, and he does have friends that are women).
What is the best chain lube out there for a commuter riding in rain…
When it comes to chain lubricate, lots of people talk and few of them know. There are lots of theories but very little (or no) evidence on how different lubricates work, let alone which is better in a given situation. Buy one and try it; if it not working the way you think it should try another one.
However they is complete agreement on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=He7TnoCM7fo
chain wax
Jake,
You may want to check your grammar if you're going to be a smart ass.
”You may want to check your grammar if you're going to be a smart ass.”
Ain’t no grammar in a <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTsvs-pAGDc” >rock n roll song</a>
Also, aint’ no typing skills in an aging jingle writer. Let’s try this
again
Tonight on BBC 2,noted Philologist Dr. Leigh K. DePends will speak on "Role of the Internet in 21st Century Neologisms: On the Origin of The Scranus"
ps mr king: Pedro's synlube. it's blue.
vsk said ...
King of Cognation...
Pedros Synlube or Finish Line lube or whateva your Local Ye Olde Bikke Shoppe sells.
The thing is, with riding in the rain a lot, you gotta clean the chain often. Stuff kicks up and globs onto the chain and cogs and chainring etc. Becomes like cement. Chain will eventually skip and not shift right. Those plastic chain cleaner things where you clamp them around the chain with the wheel brushes inside work nice. A little messy though.
You should get imperial fucktonneloads of miles out of your beefy chain.
Cheers !!
vsk
congrats dop
I figured I had to wait to see if Leroy suddenly claimed a 'false' century as he is wont to do.
CD - That is really sad.
Give cities back to cars? Fugh it - I'm leasing a place in the country
back to our normal programming
boobies boobies
boobies boobies
boobies boobies
boobies boobies
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boobies boobies
684 is my lucky number
Spokey - Your boobies make a terrible mountaineering biek tyred tread pattern
what about
scranus scranus
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scranus
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scranus
scranus
scranus
Century Podium!
(My dog assures me that he submitted urine samples on behalf of earlier title claimants and they will be disqualified. It's so easy to confuse tic medication and tick medication.)
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