Monday, November 3, 2014

Local Dumbass Can't Drive 25

On November 7th, the speed limit in New York City will officially become 25mph, and Denis Hamill doesn't like it.

So who the hell is Denis Hamill?

The short answer is "Some asshole who lives in Queens."  The long answer is that Denis Hamill is Pete Hamill's brother, and he wants you to know that he represents the authentic New York.  This is why he'll bore you with old-timey Brooklyn stories about stickball and egg creams and riding the streetcar to Ebbetts Field with a Nathan's frank up his ass and how he was one of 146 siblings, born of Irish immigrants so poor they couldn't even afford the additional "n" in "Dennis."  He also wrote the movie "Turk 182:"


"Turk 182" was a crappy movie about Timothy Hutton fighting corruption in City Hall with graffiti.  It came out in 1985, around the same time as movies like "Krush Groove," and it was Hamill's desperate attempt to appropriate at least some aspect of the blossoming hip-hop culture for white people.

You might also recall Pete Hamill's Brother as the guy who doesn't like bike lanes because when he was a kid he rode around Brooklyn dodging streetcars on a homemade meat bike and these kids today with their fancy Bing Glass and Microsoft Smart Calculators don't know what it meant to play stoopball and use a stick to roll a hoop down the street with a "Spaldeen" lodged up your ass like they did in his day:


Well, it shouldn't surprise you he doesn't like the new speed limit either, which is why the other day he woke up, took a whiff of the jar containing a smear of Jimmy Breslin's ballcheese that he keeps by his IBM Selectric, and hunted-and-pecked this piece of shit:


Basically, it turns out the main reason Pete Hamill's Brother hates the new speed limit is because he's too stupid to get his kid to school on time:

I was running late last Thursday morning driving my kid to school through the streets of Queens with a car in front of me moving at the speed of bureaucracy.

“I’m gonna be late,” my son said.

“This clown is slower than a glacier,” I screamed.

I honked. The guy didn’t accelerate. “He has two speeds,” I shouted. “Drop dead and rigor mortis.”

My speedometer read: 25 mph.

And I suddenly realized that come Nov. 7, this was going to be the speed limit in New York City. Bloomberg banned smoking and trans fats and de Blasio was gonna make us the City That Never Speeds.

Turning right onto three-lane Horace Harding Expressway, I passed the slowpoke, shot him a dirty look, and raced my kid to school just before the morning bell.

It's always good to scream at other drivers while your kids are in the car so they grow up to be assholes like you, and if you're wondering why Pete Hamill's Brother doesn't let his son walk to school it's because if he did he'd probably wind up running the poor kid over.

Next, Pete Hamill's Brother decides to perform an "experiment," because if nothing else he is a man of science:

I decided to experiment. I pulled away from the curb and snailed down Francis Lewis Blvd., activating cruise control when I reached 25 mph. Within 10 seconds, horns blared behind me. One driver passed on my right, flipping me the bird. A motorist on my left shouted, “You drive like a f-----g nun!”

And then he roared off, literally fuming.

Really?  "Literally?"  The driver himself--not the car--was literally fuming?  Was he smoking?  Was he on fire?  HOW WAS HE FUMING, HAMILL?!?  HOW WAS HE FUMING???

By the way, I'll bet you one million Vietnamese Dong that this exchange is completely made up.  First of all, I'm pretty sure Pete Hamill's Brother's 1988 Ford Taurus didn't even come with cruise control.  Secondly, it smacks of the sort of hoary dialogue that made "Turk 182" a box office flop--as does this one, which is equally spurious:

A police van from the 114th Precinct trailed me. But as I stuck to 25 mph, the cop driver passed me on the left, giving me an odd glance. He put a full city block between us. Now a Mack truck tailgated me, leaning on his loud horn. My 25-mph cruise control answered. More horn blowing. More 25 mph. A dangerous duel. Finally, the truck driver passed me on the right. When I stopped for a red light at 108th St., the same trucker parboiled beside me. He glared down at me.

“Maybe you should put on your hazards, man,” he said.

“What for?”

“Because you’re driving 3 mother f-----g miles an hour.”

“Actually, 25.”

“Same s--t, a--hole!”

This too is complete fiction, or at best it's something Pete Hamill's Brother himself once shouted at someone in the parking lot of Queens Center before they beat the living crap out of him.

Anyway, for such a seasoned New York City driver, I find it odd that he has to use a GPS to get from Queens to Gracie Mansion:

At the next red light, I typed “Gracie Mansion” into my GPS. Soon I was crossing the Triborough Bridge, jolting the FDR south and exiting at 116th St. I inched down Second Ave. toward 88th St. My speedometer only climbed to 25 mph for one three-block stretch. I hit cruise control. And angry drivers looking to ride the brief rapids of this steel river of taxis, trucks and cars all blew their horns at me in furious unison as we passed along the Second Ave. subway construction trench.

The cacophonous horns of New York were so loud and angry that I started to laugh.

Though in fairness to the dimmest of the Hamill brothers, it was built in 1799 which is a little bit past his heyday.

Still, it's got to be tough laboring under the lifelong delusion that you're a character in a Norman Lear sitcom.  This is why, given Pete Hamill's Brothers' insatiable need for speed, I'm starting a Kickstarter to raise the $250,000 to buy him a ticket on the very first Virgin Galactic flight:


I'm guessing the wait list is considerably shorter these days.

Meanwhile, in Austin, the anti-Pete Hamill's Brother thinks the key to sharing the road is waving:



When confronted with a difficult driver, some riders opt for the one-fingered salute, which doesn’t do much to help the situation. Austin cyclist Adam Butler, is all for the one-handed salute, but he’s making a movement for that to be a wave.

Butler is launching the WAVE campaign in his hometown in hopes to improve relationships between cyclists, pedestrians, and drivers. “We need something to lube this big old crazy machine called ‘getting around’, and I think it’s waving,” Butler says.

Now that nobody cares about Portland anymore it would seem that various other quirky starter cities are attempting to fill the bike culture power vacuum, and here comes Austin right on cue, attempting to shift the tone of discourse from Portlandia to its own laconic stoned country-fried Linklaterian drawl.  Hey, whatever works for them, but why should I have to wave to someone giving me something which is already mine, that being the right of way?  Sadder still is when I'm driving or riding and someone thanks me for stopping for them, which I don't deserve, for I'm only doing what I'm supposed to be doing.  It makes me grieve for the broken, timid people we've become, thanks largely to selfish pricks like Pete Hamill's Brother.  That's why I'm starting my own campaign:


I'm sure even quasi-hardboiled Daily News columnists can relate.

Speaking of the giant sucking sound that is the bike culture power vacuum, riders donned their Uniforms of Irreverence recently for the Single Speed Cyclocross Single Speeder Singlespeed Championship of the Worlds (SSCXWCSSCXCXWC) in Louisville, KY:


After which Adam Craig got his nine billionth ironic world championship tattoo:


Shouldn't be long before someone puts on a singlespeed gran fondo.

112 comments:

Spokey said...

please lob the poid

Name said...

How manu comments????

Spokey said...

or the podi, bronze too?

herzogone said...

Sigh. Top ten.

P. Bateman said...

whoooo. top tin.

Anonymous said...

Drivers are in a hurry.
That's why they are drivers.

Shawn said...

7

Glory said...

I once responded to a pedestrian who thanked me for stopping my bike at a stop sign with "It's your right of way!" The ped seemed confused.

synonymous said...

Top ten. If you ban speeding only criminals will speed.

Gave no quarter said...

I shit-kicked a vending machine that robbed me of my change.

mikeweb said...

Having a Nathans hot dog up ones ass doesn't sound Kosher.

leroy said...

Top twenty-five.

My dog wishes to add "Suck it Hamill," but I'm sure he means that in only the nicest way.

CAN'T DRIVE TWENTY-FIVE said...

What does Mark Hamill think?

The Robot Engineer said...

Fumes are a byproduct of combustion of metal, as in an ironmaking or steelmaking process. It is also a byproduct of electric arc welding, which melts the welding electrode.

PotbellyJoe said...

Finished in the brass.

I'd recommend to not wave at people. Just don't even acknowledge them.

That's all they want, is some form of assurance that they are ruining your day. Waving to them is just going to make them try harder.

I was driving on a road that went through a shopping complex when a Mercedes cut me off to make a left turn in the left turn only lane ( I was turning left at the next one and had properly chosen my lane to avoid that 2-lane jump the MB just made. I honked and gave them a thumbs-up. They called the cops and said I hit them and then was happy about it, "Why else would I give them a thumbs-up?"

Thankfully my camera caught it and they got a ticket for "improper use of lane." I guess they weren't counting on the officer being a high school friend of mine. Oh well sucks for them.

As for me, I enjoyed that day shopping at Target.

Were I on a bike, the guy would have killed me intentionally for not being angry at him, which is what they want. And according to precedent that would have cost him $250.

Keep your hands on your bars when your on the bike and dealing with cars. You never know if the guy you are dealing with is a sociopathic two-ton blunt object wielding asshole.

babble on said...

Yer dog is unfailingly kind. I do give good drivers the peace sign sometimes... I like to reward them for doing the right thing, even if it IS simply giving way to my right of way. Because mostly they don't.

And how is it that in the pouring down rain (which is what we've had for three solid weeks now), drivers are even crankier and in more of a rush than normal?!

shining trapezoid said...

Holy fuck I'm glad I don't live in New York.

dnk said...

Golly, I am so behind the times. Forget about "Pete Hamill's Brother" ---- I was clueless about who "Pete Hamill" is.

I had to google him. It seems that he makes a buck by appearing in PBS videos.

As irrelevant as that other guy who can't drive something-five, Sammy Hagar.

JamMasterCray said...

Ahhhhhhh. As a former Austinite that wave bit was very familiar. It's an ingrained behavior there. Lots of wavers. Is it a old-boy Texas holdover? Something emanating from the atmosphere of the increasingly rich and carefree? Heady combination of the two???

semi serious cyclist said...

Nice rhythm in the blog today, good form. Classic snobbery. Droll, snide disdain for everything mentioned.

Spokey said...

dnk

he's not some sports writer for the Daily News or something? Gawd I guess I'll have to glue-gle him too.

I agree with snobbie (or once). 25mph cruise control sounds like bullshit to me. I've owned Fords, Chevies, Pontiacs, Datsuns, Nissans, and Toyotas (including some with drum breaks). I guess I can't count the suzukis & hondas as they only had 2 wheels and no cruise control.

I've never had one that didn't automatically cut out well before it got that low. 30 or 35 seems about the normal. Certainly his Lada might do this but eyes be spicious.

bad boy of the north said...

alright....getting up on the podium.

3G said...

This Hamil guy can go blow himself and his kid's teacher, since he's going to be late from now on. seriously.

Anonymous said...

I thought that the 25 mph limit is the default, and expressways would be posted much higher e.g. 55mph. In other words, d-bag invented a law, used it to annoy people, and then argues that because his invented law is stupid that a real law is stupid.

JLRB said...

"and raced my kid to school just before the morning bell."

Was he racing while raging in his cag(ing)?

Two words for the Hammill dimwit: LEAVE EARLIER

ABSURD - he actually acknowledges death and injury to peds and cyclists in the same piece he is bitching about safe(r) speed

Jake Dean said...

25 mph will decrease fuel efficiency thereby causing greater dependence on oil, strengthening the argument for drilling in wildlife refuges. So, really, he should be all for it.

Anonymous said...

"When I stopped for a red light at 108th St., the same trucker parboiled beside me. He glared down at me."

LOL at them stopping at the same light regardless of what speed they were going...

PotbellyJoe said...

Spokeys,

My toyotas have allowed CC at 25 mph, all of my American products don't let it work until 30.

He comes off as a Lexus-owning prick (or a Prius?) so 25 would fit the story. Also, Toyota Speedometers are usually 2-3 mph fast, so he was probably doing 22 mph and a complete knob about it.

McFly said...

I think I woulda coughed up enough cheddar for the extra "N" and left the last "L" off.

Blog Drafter said...

I podio'd in fifth place, came back later and my comment was gone. Didn't even get a Comment Deleted message. Honestly, I podio'd in fifth place. Anyone else getting comments deleted?

Great post, BTW, & Scranus.

Spokey said...

i'll double check the 2003 camry later but I'm sure it doesn't go that low

I check all my cars against the measured miles and that car is as spot on as I can measure. Also the CC keeps it very tight. Better than the 2007 but that car is an automatic so maybe the type of tranny makes a diff. Come to think of it. Except for one chevy and the ford all those other cars have been manuals. maybe that makes a diff

Dan said...

Is it just me, or is Midnight Cowboy era Dustin Hoffman sporting an impressing boner while yelling at that car's driver?

Crown Royal said...

I bet those NYC cops can't wait to start writing those 30 in a 25 tickets especially if the driver has Gawja plates...niiiiiiice

PotbellyJoe said...

I currently drive a Vibe (manual as well), so it's Toyota running gear and I set my cruise this morning at 25 going through a school zone so i could hover the brake pedal. It's a 2009 though, so maybe that's the difference.

Anonymous said...

Years ago, as an American tourist on a road trip in the Scottish highlands, I experienced a pervasive culture of waving. On the single lane roads that the locals drive 75 mph on, the motorists wave to thank each other for not smashing headon and dying. Now after a week or so of this shit the hand gets tired. Finally we came to a place with a different etiquette... At the beginning of this glen's single lane road was a sign... A hand had been Xed out. Keep your fucking hands on the wheel seemed to be the message.

Bryan said...

"'He has two speeds,' I shouted. 'Drop dead and rigor mortis.'" --I do kind of like that. Anyways, down here in the south, people wave to each other all the time.
scranus

Freddy Murcks said...

For someone who has his own cock stuffed in his mouth, Denis Hamil manages to function on a pretty high level. Driving or even something as simple as typing must be a real challenge.

JLRB said...

So which is weirder, Portland or Austin? Mostly, we just wish the hipsters would give us our city back.

Weird = Trendy -> attracts the trendy types = poseurs = no thanks

db said...

There is a fixed gear grand fondo just outside philadelphia!

Anonymous said...

Hamil is a fool and his story is a ridiculous exaggeration. They are reducing the speed limit by 5mph, from 30mph to 25mph. He acts like this will result in some fucking traffic apocalypse. The fact is most people don't obey the 30MPH and they wont obey 25MPH, unless the City can get the assholes in Albany to allow more traffic cameras so they can actually enforce the fucking speed limit for a change. Hamill is about is irrelevant as a "journalist" as Turk 182 would be today as a reflection of the urbane lifestyle or whatever. This is why he writes for the NY Daily News. Even the Post laughs at them. Also, good to see that Hamill prefers to speed with his kid in the car. fucking loser.

JLRB said...

Denis is Irish for Penis

Hasselhoff Uber Alles said...

The asshole driving 25 ended up next to the asshole in the Mack truck who sped past him, but neither of them made that connection. Both are still stopped at the same light. Two dumbshit assholes.

busted_computer_2093874 said...

Hey, c'mon at least Craig GOT the tattoo. Maureen get the tattoo?

There was one year some lame #$@ %@$$#^ @#$@^ didn't get the tattoo after earning it.

When you win a race in Limburg, do you NOT rest the wheel of cheese (Limburger geniuses) right below your nose on the podium? No. You try not to breathe and smile.

A proper event including costumes, leaping over a flaming barrier, a four foot high barrier, and a beer stop. Great race.

trama said...

austin sux my ballz

McFly said...

Denis Hamill wasn't driving his kids to school.......he was qualifying.

Freddy Murcks said...

In Salt Lake City, which is the city where I live, a cyclist stabbed a pedestrian over the weekend following an argument about who had the right of way on the sidewalk. While I have often expressed the sentiment that if someone hits me with their car they had better hope they fucking kill me because I am going to beat them senseless if I am able, I am pretty certain that this incident is not likely to improve relations between cyclists and peds or between cyclists and drivers.

Bama Phred said...

I wave, don't know who Pete or Denis Hamill is, and thanks for kicking off Monday. Of course, waving in NYC just seems ludicrous.

Comment deleted said...

C'mon folks, don't you have any gratitude for the beauty of Denise Hamil's figure skating, or the trendy haircut she inspired?

Spokey said...

we didn't ave any stabbings here,


but meanwhile in the hemorrhoids some guy robs a bank and the cops caught him in PA running around in his underwear having crashed his car into some halloween decoration.


A suspected bank robber who led officers on a chase that ended with a crash and manhunt in Newtown was captured in his underwear on Mud Rd.
    .  .  .
But it was a call from a resident that led to Houir’s capture. The resident reported a suspicious man in the neighborhood who was wearing just his underwear and asking for help getting a cab.



I looked for more details but found none. Did he rob the bank in just his underwear? Did he undress while driving the getaway car exposing us all to heightened danger? Did he undress after crashing to get into PA incognito? Did some PA terrorist rob him of his clothes? Did the terrorist leave him with the bank loot?

Anonymous said...

Hamill is a twit. The "Horace Harding Expressway" is the Long Island Expressway and nobody (except maybe him) calls it the HHE anymore.

I should know, I lived in Queens!!

Robert Moses said...

At least one of the streets Pete Hamill's Brother drives on in his “experiment” , Francis Lewis Blvd, is and will continue to be posted at 35 MPH

The new law sets 25 MPH as the limit on streets that are not posed different.

Freddy Murcks said...

Hasselhoff Uber Alles - that's one of the things that amuses me the most about asshole drivers. They pass me in a big huff and then I roll up next to them at the next stop light. If those dickheads had even the slightest capacity for self-reflection, I am sure they'd feel really stupid. But alas....

The reality of the futility of speeding in the city is one of the key reasons that I have given up speeding when I drive the car that I own. I also try to make sure that I am never in a hurry so I don't feel the urge to speed. Hurrying doesn't make you faster, it just makes you angrier.

crosspalms said...

I'd forgotten about Pete Hamill's brother, too. And I was perfectly happy. Next time he conducts an experiment regarding some law that hasn't taken effect yet, maybe he could try open carry or weed (medical, of course) in the precinct house.

Anonymous said...

I'm waving at you snobby, thanks again.

Anonymous said...

vsk said ...

Ayy!!!!
I'm fuckin ridin' ova heeeya !!


Late comments today, I was drafting a truck going 24.6 mph.

.............

Yay! I might be going to Philly Sunday to see Bike Snob (NYC) and bikes and stuff.
Girlfriend's like "What the hell is that?"

+++++++++

Thought it was going to be colder out this morning. Not too bad. Gorgeous out right now.
Great Cat 6 action w/ Mr. Red Waterford and Orange Jacket Single Speeder. Thanks guys !!

We didn't wave.

vsk

Vernal Magina said...

so poor they couldn't even afford the additional "n" in "Dennis."

well played :)

( ... give him credit for using the word 'parboiled', though. that's a good one)

bieks! said...

I was going to say Fixed Gear Grand Fondo with a kind of cool mirrored logo GFFG with the two F's back to back, but of course, there's no original ideas to be had in the age of internettiness. Thanks Philly for stealing my idea before I even had it.

JLRB said...

Which is worse, Turk 182 or Blink 182?

balls™ said...

Yeah, I guess that outside of NYC nobody has ever heard of these Hamills. I've heard of Mark Hamill and even Dorthy Hamill, but these guys... must be local has-beens.

Scranus, pink canoe, cunnilingus, etc...

Former Texan said...

Let 'em wave in Austin. Have you ever biked in Austin? I have and as the friendliest bike culture city in Texas it still leaves a lot to be desired as far as bike infra- structure is concerned.

Elsewhere I wave to those who grant me right of way and give no response to the drivers who have malicious intentions.

I have accepted that I am a second class citizen on a bike even though I shouldn't be.

Anonymous said...

Whenever a woman waves or smiles I assume she wants the D.

Shoshana Roberts said...

"Whenever a woman waves or smiles I assume she wants the D.

So I assume you are in this
video?

CommieCanuck said...

Naive question: are clowns supposed to be faster than glaciers?

Anonymous said...

Freddy,

I've been to that city you call home and I have to wonder if the knifing was "downtown" with the urbane non-believers going to h-e-double-hockey-sticks, or further out in the infinite two-story, spread out, sameness that stretches for an hour+ South.

My money is the wackos were waaay out in suburbia with the as wackos tend to live in relative quiet, until one day the sidewalk becomes a matter of life or death.

Anonymous said...

So I assume you are in this
video?


Na.....she never waved. I did see my brother @ 1:14.

Telegram Sam said...

A few months ago I did just that -- waved to a van honking behind me on Union Square West rather than flipping him off. The driver became so enraged he came right up behind me, so close I could feel the heat from his grill on my back. Realizing I was dealing with Denis ("Fredo") Hamill levels of road rage, I veered off between two parked cars, almost crashing. I then watched as the van sped past me, now out of control, narrowly missing a woman getting out of her car, then blowing the red light at 14th street, swerving around an old man crossing the street. So by waving, I almost killed three people. I'll stick to my God-given fuck finger.

pod said...

jimmy breslin's ball cheese

Anonymous said...

I just make the sign of the cross and sprinkle holy water on drivers (mainly to see if they will burst into flames)

CommieCanuck said...

Jimmy Breslin's ball cheese..is that the same as Frumunda cheese? As in the single speed Gran Frumunda.

Jayson Blair said...

Fiction. Pure fiction. ALL OF IT. Believe it and be the fool.

Herschel Raney said...

The 25 mph shift will essentially boost the price for the speeding tickets being issued. It definitely will not slow anyone down. Or, it would not here. I assume drivers there are far more batshit. But hey, we have more rednecks in pickup trucks.

Officer to speeder: Do have a reason why you were going so fast?

Driver: I got shit to do.

Most of the time the real answer is: my life and my shit are far more important than any of these plebes can even understand.

Sigh. The world.

Sno-cone said...

CC @ 3:31. Don't you mean a neve question?

Spokey said...

OK Joe

you caught me.

I am a lying sack of shit

I can get it to cruise at 25 although it's mighty painful. tried 2nd and third gear and both would surge then fall back. Surge and fall back. over and over. Think it happened a little at 30 in 3rd and 4rth but not bad. Probably wouldn't notice if I wasn't paying particular attention. By 35, smooth as well smooth as something.

So OK, the ice skating jedi could have been cruising at 25. Thanks for outing me you bastard.



so is davndro Belleau the long lost brother of my auntie bellum?

and why is <sup> a disallowed tag for posts? Jeez!

73 said...

74

Klaus said...

Wein, Weib, und Gesang! [G.] Wine, Women, and song!

PotbellyJoe said...

Spokey,

It's the internet, everybody lies.

I'm not really a 22 year-old College Co-ed looking for a good time.

Maverick said...

You'd think that the Church of Scientology would have provided some Cruise control.

Freddy Murcks said...

Anon @3:40 - I think it was downtown. I tried to find a link to the newspaper article describing the incident, but I failed. In any case, it was at night and the vic and the perp were both in the 50-60 range, so I am assuming that it was a case of transient on transient violence. Weird shit nonetheless.

Spokey said...

joe

never thought you were. but now i'm worried you might be one of those jail baits trying to lure old perverts.

not that i have to worry about that of course. just looking out for mcfly et. al.

JLRB said...

My biek has no cruise control - is that a Strava feature?

Waving Bye

Peter G said...

A gem, Snobby, though I am disappointed you didn't mention ring a livio or red rover. I'm sure Denis played them right in the middle of Horace Hard-on Blvd.

Jobz Boner said...

I have no doubt that Denis Hamill fucked one or more of his sisters in the middle of Horace Hard-On Blvd.

Cop with Roids said...

I have heard that there are usually boobies and bikes here. Why the hell are we talking about this Denis Hamill dude?

rural 14 said...

Rural 1st!

Every day - riding down the dangerous dead mans hill, at 25 mph - 18% grade, 25 mph speed limit, blind curves, guardrails - some maniac pulls into the other uphill lane to pass me at 45 - 50 mph.

I'm riding in the middle of the lane because if I don't they'll squeeze me into the guardrail. So they routinely cross the double yellow line into the uphill lane / usually talking on the phone.

These are my neighbors or people who I know. I find them later in town - I've given up being polite, because I'm not going 0 to 60 in rage / I'm going 59 to 60. And I yell at them. Because I tried talking for years and that hasn't worked. But tapping on their windows or accosting them in the street, starting quietly and then scaring the shit out of them by screaming "you could have killed me" makes an impression.

And there's only 1 restraining order against me that still holds.

Sad But True said...

Ok. So like those Yankee drivers are all pissed about having to go 25 mph, well just tell them that you're going to change the limit to 40 km per hour and they'll think that's Jack Shit! They'll lumber on from stoplight to stoplight and be none the wiser. "Why I've got a bigger speed number to go drive my big ass car so I've gotta be doin' me better".

David G said...

The fictional Denis Hamill column reminds me of an op-ed in the Times a few years ago by a cyclist recounting his alleged encounters with people when he decided to stop at all the red lights. Supposedly no one in New York had anything better to do than bust this guy's chops for stopping at red lights on his bike. Obvious fiction.

Jeb said...

Well I thinks that there 25 miles per hour speed limit is a good thing, because if I've been smokin' some of that there Devil's weed then I git all sorts of paranoid an' I drive real slow like, then no one will think that I've been smokin' that Devil's weed because they is ALL drivin' real slow.

crank said...

I always wave when someone refrains from killing me. But hey, I'm just polite like that.

babble on said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
babble on said...

Crank - Right?! Makes it hard to stop waving some days.

Mr Potbelly - Ok, so I can believe you're not a college co-ed, but you're not looking for a good time?! I thought everybody was looking for a good time.

That has GOT to be a lie!

Spokey said...

Dogfight between Congress, Air Force could delay F-35 program

is this leroy's dog screwing around with national security again?

jodphoto said...


Denis Hamill.

Obvious fiction is right. What a fucking bullshit artist.

He is Pete Hamill's Billy Carter.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a lot of childish behavior in NYC...
Yelling and fuming,lovely. Being so important must be annoying

Anonymous said...

Not one joke about a Hamill Camel? Geez.

dop said...

Hamill's wife has camel toe

Nothing said...

something

I See said...

the blind man as he picked up his hammer and saw

This could be great said...

98

Will it be mine said...

99

JLRB said...

1
0
0

Applause

since2007 said...

HES BACK BABY! SNOB"S STILL GOT IT!

Yeah Cleveland! said...

Maybe of interest to Bama and Leroy... man's best friend indeed.
http://www.cnn.com/2014/11/01/us/alabama-dog-drug-bust/index.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+rss%2Fcnn_us+%28RSS%3A+U.S.%29

Bama Phred said...

^Yeah Cleveland
Bo looks happy, Melvin probably not so much.
Thanks.

Anonymous said...

hey - didn't you also start your blog in 2007?

https://twitter.com/copenhagenize/status/529412840541937665

JB said...

PotbellyJoe typed: "I'm not really a 22 year-old College Co-ed looking for a good time."

But I am! And my parents are going away for the weekend. lol I wonder if I can score any Bartles and James to drink?

JLRB said...

So Penis Hamill's fictional account is interesting in the sense that his fictional self is subjected to a smidgeon of the angst cagers spew towards cyclists every day. Except he was protected by a eurofucton of metal and airbags etc.

Anonymous said...

this authoring has been posted by its deleter

wle

Jail Bait said...

I'm a 16yo female cycling fan and I am all alone for the week. My boobs are so big that my Rapha jersey can barely curate them and my bike sorts are so tight that I have major camel toe. Would one of you strong, middle aged men please cum to my home and help me out. Bring wine coolers. I love wine coolers.

25 is no big deal, no? said...

The average driver typically reaches 90 mph according to charts published by the PGA.

Cipo said...

JB@1044. What self respecting baby sitter shows up with wine coolers? I'll be over with a bottle of fine chianti and some fava beans.

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