Friday, May 9, 2014

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!

Well, the Giro d'Italia starts today in Belfast, and I don't know how the people feel, but the sheep are pink with excitement:


(In certain parts of the world this is considered "NSFW.")

Expect three weeks of thrills, chills, and over-sentimentalizing the death of Marco Pantani.



Meanwhile, here in America it's Bike Month, which means cyclists are now worth 50 points to drivers instead of the usual 25--and if the cyclist wasn't wearing a helment you also get six bucks off your next oil change at Jiffy Lube!


Just make sure you get your activation code from the "investigating officer" (that's a good one) at the scene of the "accident."

It's also Bike To Work Day in some cities, which means your co-worker will most likely show up at the office with a giant sweat stain on his back after having sixteen near-death experiences and swear to never, ever do that again.

More importantly, it's been something like twenty years since I've proctored a quiz, so I'm administering one herewith.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right that's great, and if you're wrong you'll see bicycling safety.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and if you're racing in the Giro d'Italia watch out for pink sheep.


--Wildcat Rock Machine






1) Fill in the blank:

The effects of human-induced climate change are being felt in every corner of the United States, scientists reported Tuesday, with water growing scarcer in dry regions, torrential rains increasing in wet regions, heat waves becoming more common and more severe, wildfires growing worse, and forests dying under assault from __________________.

--"infrared radiation."
--"carbon particulates."
--"heat-loving insects."
--"intergalactic space Freds."






(One of the world's most recognizable skylines.)

2) The taxpayers of Columbus, Ohio are being bled dry by three (3) underused bike racks.

--True
--False





3) What is Hal Ruzal pointing out?

--The sagacity of locking your frame and both wheels
--The sartorial elegance of riding a bicycle that matches your shoes
--The third set of bottle bosses that qualify this as a "gravel bike"
--He's demonstrating how easy it is to steal a bicycle by picking the lock with his fingernail






4) What is this rider doing?

--Signaling a turn
--Being alerted to an SUV in his blind spot
--Earning $20/hr as a mobile WiFi hot spot
--Farting






5) What is the US dollar value of a single Fred?

--$1.13
--$10.13
--$10,000.13
--(LIBOR/100) x (retail cost of bicycle) √ (π) x (6.02214129(27)×1023 mol−1) + (PEMDAS-3)






6) According to a recent review, the above mountain bike tire excels in wet, sloppy conditions thanks to its large volume and ample side knobs, though it tends to queef air under hard cornering when run tubeless.

--True






I had spikes on my helmet and a Doctors Without Borders jersey.
You were wearing grey shorts and your rider number started with 654 (Charity Blue!).

We followed each other for a bit.
I sang to you briefly. 
You said something about the music I was playing (Arcade Fire).
You pulled off to the side at the bridge peak, and we waved to each other as I passed you...

And then you appeared in front of me as I passed you again, like some crazy magic trick.

I looked for you at the finish line, but, you know, needle in a haystack.

7) Dork-O-Rama!  Gotta be the:




***Special "Metal Detection Is The New Strava"-Themed Bonus Video***





94 comments:

Tristan Osborn said...

First post!

DB said...

Under Tristan.

DB said...

Is that Arlo Guthrie in the metal detection video?

Son of Spock said...

Scranus top 5

Son of Spock said...

in a 5 gallon bucket no less

Anonymous said...

Looks like a cross between Ted Neugent and Weird Al Yankyourbitch

babble on said...

F-F-F-F-Friiiiiiiiiday! Hooray!

Mmmm pink.

DB said...

Was he in the Allman Brothers?

Anonymous said...

The world is ending
Step it up snobby
This is no hobby
Make us laugh
About a knobby

dancesonpedals said...

goood morning wcrm!!

tov ngymem

Mick Belker said...

Farting. The answer is always farting. My 10 year old has a farting problem. He can't stop talking about just like this blog.

Philip said...

Early!

Anonymous said...

erschde zehe !!

babble on said...

100%!!! I even got the one I guessed at, but only because the answer was A and I started at the top.

Mick - is he British? My British boy and his dad both suffer from the same affliction.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...I HEART PINK SHEEP

Anonymous said...

Mick let your son watch the treasure hunter video at 2:14. He will enjoy it.

RoadQueen said...

I love Friday

I love Pink

I love Quizzes

AND I NEED A DRINK!!!!!!!!




fsapri appears

Harkie_Chuegel said...

How do you find a plastic cooler with a metal detector?

McFly said...

I was really hoping the abandoned cooler had a disembodied head in it.

crosspalms said...

"I sang to you briefly."

Roille Figners said...

"La da deeeee, la teee toooo"

Ron Paul said...

Maybe if I'd sung the song of my people, you would have remembered...

Roille Figners said...

Metal detector guy is totally Fred Cole.

ge said...

Snob, the quiz is an awesome concept. You should curate on every Friday!

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

"Expect three weeks of thrills, chills, and over-sentimentalizing the death of Marco Pantani."

-Gold Snobbie, gold

QUEE FAIR

JLRB said...

I can't believe I watched that video.

crosspalms said...

deep-ass gravel.

I think there's a special bike for that.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Some nice prehistoric shark teeth that guys pulling out of the creek.

Flaming_toast said...

LIBOR? LIBOR!!??? Everyone knows LIBOR is fixed.

A couple hundred million dollars every month between friends every month is the price the rest of the world pays for the privilege of a few people agreeing on a number.

Nice work if you can get it. Hang a few Venges in the garage next to the Maserati and Bently.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Libor_scandal

crosspalms said...

Things I didn't appreciate about my commute until today: Nobody's ever trying to shoot alligators as I ride by.

robot says second ableepen. He should watch that video if he wants some ableepen.

babble on said...

I sang to the guys
on the vet ride last Sunday. Twice.

"Oh what a beautiful morning,
Oh what a beautiful day,
Oh what a beautiful morning,
Everything's BLOWING my wayyyyyyyy."

And

"Let's talk about Snot, baby..."

JLRB - re: tomorrow: Thank you :D It's going to be a day of firsts! Well, except for non-mountain-goat me, that is.

McFly said...

"The Fart" at 2:17 was most definately not hardpack.

babble on said...

Yup, singing at the top of my lungs. Cause it was raining and blustery. And cause they push me till I am dripping snot, bless them.

A girl's gotta express herself.

babble on said...

See what I mean?
Yer ancestry is shining through, McFly...

babble on said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Me straps! said...

I'm waiting for the Tom Simpson jersey.

Buffalo Bill said...

Singing is an effective way to demonstrate that you are not working too hard. I understand Il Pirata used to sing whilst climbing the zoncolan in order to discourage his rivals.

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum..

James said...

babs 12:08
one of my favourite Beavis and Butthead bits was about snot.

Beavis: Hey! what is that? Snot?
Butthead: No, it's string.
Beavis: That's too bad.

Congratulations Captcha!
ybrhack succeeded

Anonymous said...

It's almost like we're a few years behind NYC or something:

http://www.lajollalight.com/2014/05/09/la-jolla-parks-beaches-says-%E2%80%98no%E2%80%99-to-bike-share-kiosks/

Anonymous said...

lick my pink sheep

Thatonedude said...

I had to look over like 8 pages to see if you've written about this, only to find that you haven't written about this...

come on, get with it:

http://www.redbull.com/us/en/bike/events/1331643160038/red-bull-ride-n-style

McFly said...

I am from the Creek-Folk Tribe. Careful though, lots of other fun activities happen down by the creek aside from metal detection.

Until you have had some hot post MTB Ride action on a mossy foot bridge you have not fully experienced nature. I asked her once "When did you really fall in love?" She said, "When you took me in the woods by Gatlinburg and did me on that big rock by the Little Pigeon River."

I was like Oh that was you?

JLRB said...

McFly -

Better "Oh was that you?" than - "Hey wait - that wasn't me"

but I am not buying the story - no way you asked her when she fell in love.

Anonymous said...

Holy shit, if anyone hasn't watched the metal detector video in it's entirety, you need to do so. Or at least the first three minutes, which contains quite possibly the greatest moment in the history of cinema.

Jam Master Cray said...

EPIC FRT
FREE RUBRMAD
BTSHT CRZY

mikeweb said...

Coincidentally, I saw Hal riding near my apartment yesterday and said hi.

Then I went home and rebuilt the rear wheel that I rode to work on today. And I didnt even die.

Comment deleted said...

I'm tempted to drop everything and become a professional metal detector. Seems quite glamorous.

BRATTT!

Anonymous said...

Another great Italian cyclist. Read road to valor, a very good book.

http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-27333310

Anonymous said...

the metal detector dude should have a TV show. I could have done without the farting but part of his charm i guess.

DB said...

Hey, Mikeweb:
Hope you and E had a successful event.

Makeout said...

I can believe I watched the whole video. I can't believe that guy doesn't have his own series. Do you smell that?

Anonymous said...

Gold Snobby, gold is what that man is fucking looking for. Fucking piece of aluminum is what he got...

Anonymous said...

Metal detector man has the most enchanting eyes!

Anonymous said...

Whazza TTT? Thick Titty Tuggin'?

(Everyone takes turns pullin but a few always pop early)

Anonymous said...

What is wrong with you people?

ge said...

I would totally watch that show. Nobody's actually invented the smellovision yet, have they? Okay, it's safe. Anyone know how a metal detector picks up shark's teeth? Are there shark dentists out there filling shark cavities?

McFly said...

The Domino Effect TTT Style.

Anonymous said...

Ned Overend once told Tilford, a long time ago, “Steve, we were so lucky to be able to race internationally before the sport became polluted.”

mikeweb said...

Thanks DB! It was was very much so.

JLRB said...

Someone needs to do an overlay of the 'merican heat map with the Strava hot spot map - there lies the solution to er something

babble on said...

Huh. It looks like I'm not the only crash test dummy. Ouch. What a way to start the Giro...

Anonymous said...

scranus 'n titties

Anonymous said...

You know, if Jesus were to come back to earth today he wouldn't be whitening his teeth and hanging out at some charismatic mega church singing that god-awful crap they sing there, no, he'd be trawling canals for gold and sharks' teeth boisterously farting the whole way.

Just a little something for you to think about...

My predictive text tried to change robot's "Nacedb society" to "Nakedness society". So inappropriate in the presence of Jim, our Saviour.

babble on said...

Yay!! My hero Svein ROCKS!!

ken e. said...

second babbles comment!

Anonymous said...

Buy 5 commemorative Pantani jerseys and get a commemorative Pantani cycling cap....complete with ears!

Anonymous said...

============================================
Svein Knutsson - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Svein_Knutsson
Svein Knutsson (Old Norse: Sveinn Knútsson) c. 1016–1035, was the son of Cnut the Great, king of Denmark, Norway, and England, and his first wife Ælfgifu of ...
‎============================================

tee, hee, hee. "Cnut the Great".

Dr. Toot said...

That up the creek dude should be carrying a mental detector.






Anonymous said...

These pretzels are making me thirsty.

P. Ungent said...

I think that Metal Detector Man was not just idly passing wind. No, he was strategically activating a personal bio-fueled alligator repulsion system (PBARS) and judging by the lack of reptiles present, it seems to be quite effective.

DB said...

Mikeweb:
Couldn't make the opening, but catch you in July.
Babs: Comments of the Day.

The Tour of Italy Started? said...

"workin upstream is a whole lot of fuckin work". Just like climbing is in cycling. Maybe if he quit smoking it wouldn't seem like so much work and he'd find pirate gold. To bad someone upstream didn't send down an inflated gator. At least he found a cooler that looked like it had been someones bait bucket.

National Enquire: "Man Marries Sheep" said...

In the land of Cipo, where the men are men and the sheep are nervous.

McFly said...

Happy Mothers Day! Thanks for the Womb & Board!

Doing the Sat work here in Canadia'a Ingrown Toe-nail....gettin' paid normal plus 1/2 again. The only day I get what I am really worth.

GOUNNA BUY SOME MORE BEIK SCHTUFF.

babble on said...

LOL!! Womb and board... :D

Anonymous said...

kow-ka-LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY-shun

David Pearce said...

Dear Rock Machine,

I think it is very poor form for you to mention someone named Marco Pantani, and the problems he may or may not have had with his erythrocyte volume fraction.

I thought Q-factor was the width of the crank horizontally between the pedals, but apparently it is also my knowledge, or lack of it, on the life and, I find, the death of someone named Marco Pantani, who had the poor manners to explode his heart in a barricaded hotel room, instead of honorably, like Tom Simpson, on the upper moonscape of Mont Ventoux.

I guess I am just so sick of professional bicycle racing, with the season starting up for the spectators, and professional racing just seeming to suck doping to it all the time, like terrible leeches.

I also hate the auto-spellcheck correct feature of my computer correcting the obviously misspelled words when I'm trying to prove I'm not a robot...

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leroy said...

Riding with my dog tomorrow for Mother's Day.

Another season older, slower, and more out of shape.

But happier and happier just to ride.

Ride happy all!

Dat Other Guy said...

Dat guy in da creek. What da fuck he do wid dat wand thing he wave about. I tink dat guy in da creek is maybe a crazy guy. I sure one guy can find more good shit in da dumpster fer sure and not get eaten by fish lizards.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Nice comment Leroy.

Luckily I'm still managing to hold the line. Not getting any slower but certainly not getting any faster.

Even got my Fred on yesterday.

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Anonymous said...

As long as you're spinning you're winning.

ce said...

I thoroughly enjoyed metal detector guy's video, but I reckon if they gave him a TV show they'd ruin it by trying to make it more TV friendly.

I rode some epic new gravel today, a beautiful old winding rural road named "Ridgelands Rd". Unfortunately I was riding in my Land Cruiser work ute, not on a bicycle.

Well, maybe it's a good thing I was on 33 inch mud terrain tyres and steel ladder chassis, as apparently 26 inch wheels and aluminium frame on epic gravel would most likely have resulted in SERIOUS INJURY OR DEATH, of the scranus.

I did pass a cyclist earlier while still on the tar. I slowed right down and was all courteous and shit. Dickhead was riding down the middle of the lane and wouldn't move over. No wonder people hate us. Get off the road you fucking cyclists!

babble on said...

Right!?

But I take a meter and expect drivers to pass me safely (that means GIVING me a meter) when they can. So many drivers don't give us enough clearance, and I refuse to scrunch up on the very edge of the road just so they can speed along on their merry way.

dancesonpedals said...

babel-

when driving I always give a meter+ ..but there are some riders in my town, all from a certain club, who either don't trust drivers, or who have inner road rage; they come over to the double yellow line when I try to pass, instead of allowing me a half lane & 4 feet clearance ...I can understand that they don't want to get crowded if I see a car coming the other way...this morning I passed a three-rider paceline ...I waited through 2 blind turns, following a respectful distance, I then went to pass during a brief straight stretch that was still double yellow...they moved from the shoulder to within a foot of the double yellow...I'm used to them now..I stayed ~ 20 mph & slowly passed them, in the left lane, & took my sweet time until I was a few car lengths clear & slowly eased into the lane...year ago one of the club did that & I had to jump on the gas to clear him before a blind hill...I can't stand the sleepy hollow club..thank you for listening..if you had a big ride Saturday I hope you took some pictures & maybe put them in your blog

ce said...

Inconsiderate/aggressive dick bag motorists are going to be dick bags no matter where in the lane cyclists ride.

I don't think it's an excuse for cyclists riding like dick bags.

I understand the theory of taking the lane in an urban setting, I do it myself on occasion. But, when I'm riding on the open road I keep up my end of the deal by staying as far the fuck out of the way as I can. Whatever the motorist do is up to them, many show me equivalent courtesy.

Riding a bike with sensible tyres helps me do my bit to share the road. Most "road bikes" I see out there are set up as what is better described as "road racing bikes" and judging by the way they are ridden are unfit to share many of the roads out there, their pilots unwilling to risk a puncture or be subjected to the rougher ride over on the side. It would be like driving a Formula One car on public roads and having to drive all over the place to avoid every little bump and hollow and think this is ok.

If you can't ride within a couple inches of the painted line when traffic is passing, or better yet, move off onto the verge if it is just the occasional car, it's probably because you have succumbed to the fantasy that you are riding in some grand race that everyone around you cares about, or should care about, and that the people in the cars lining up behind you should feel privileged to witness the spectacle.

Fuck the Sleepy Hollow club, and their honorary members around the world.

ce said...

...except you babs, motorists probably do feel privileged being stuck behind your mesmerizing calves, but for the rest of us, you know...

Roille Figners said...

Taking the lane is great but taking it LIKE A DICK is not. It's like macing everyone you see, because they might mug you.

babble on said...

Actually, taking your meter is about line of sight and safety for everyone involved, not about being a dick. If you are crowded to within an inch or two of the line on a road without a shoulder you A have no room to maneuver and B are not fully visible to traffic behind you. I don't mind riding closer to the edge of the road where there are no parked cars, but when there are I stay the fuck away from them because I love my life.

Sir Scrani said...

Taking a meter dick gives vaginal stretch cancer for looserz

JLRB said...

Don't forget your Bicycle Rights!

Roille Figners said...

Babs you better take TWO meters.

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