Tuesday, November 5, 2013

A Mouth-Watering Recipe For a Casserole Your Guests Will Love!

Let's dork out.

Yesterday, I decided to take a lunch ride.  Sure, I had more important things to do, but what the hell is the point of being a bike blogger if I don't get to ride a bike in the middle of a weekday every now and again?  Trust me, I don't do it for the money.*

*[Yeah, sure, I've made hundreds of millions since starting this blog, but I can assure you I'm not happy about it.]

"So what should I do?," I asked the ceiling fan, who is my most trusted confidante.  "Should I ride one of those bikes with the curved-type handlebars like they use in the Tour de France?  Or should I ride one of those rugged all-terrain bicycles with the knobbly tires?"

The ceiling fan spun, mute and stupid.  Dumb piece of shit.

"I know, I'll split the difference!"

So I put big fat tires on my travel bike and headed to the mountain bike trails:


I'm sorry to say I acquitted myself rather poorly, which I'm tempted to attribute to being overgeared and stuff like that, but the fact of the matter is that I suck.

Still, I had a very enjoyable time, because what's better than scampering around in the woods on a crisp autumn day?  Also what's better than hitting every rock and root in the place because they're buried under like two feet of fallen leaves?

Anyway, while we're dorking out, let's look at some wet hot tire porn, because you know you want to:


Ooh, yeah, you like that, don't you?


And how about this tire clearance porn?


Yeah, those stays are so wide, willing, and accommodating--like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.

And here's the Obligatory Bottom Bracket Shot:


Sure, it's neither oversized nor beefy, but not everybody's into that, you know?

Of course, if you are, I'm happy to oblige:



Also, in my ongoing attempt to be the only bike blogger who actually uses stuff for a long time before writing about it, I'd like to mention this Rapha jacket I got at least five years ago:


As I mentioned recently, my Rapha pants have developed a bit of a scranus vent:


However, the Rapha jacket is still going strong after a considerable amount of use, and since I wore it yesterday I figured it was at least worth mentioning.

Of course, I have no idea the name of the jacket, or if they still make it, but there you go.

One thing I have not tried and was surprised to learn now exists is a "29er specific MTB saddle," for which I recently received a press release:

INTRODUCING THAR, FIZIK INNOVATIVE 29ER SPECIFIC MTB SADDLE 

fi’zi:k are pleased to lauch an innovative new 29er-specific mountain bike saddle.


Here it is:


I like Fi'z::ii.><>''k saddles very much, even though they use too much random punctuation in their name, and even though they have that stupid "Spine Concept" crotchal spirit animal fit technique where the penis slithers out of the saddle:


I'm supposed to decide if my scranus is a bull, a snake, or a ferret or whatever before buying a goddamn seat?

Get the fuck outta here.

Anyway, I guess this is why I shouldn't be surprised they gave the 29er-specific saddle such a terrible name.  Thar?  Really?  Who doesn't read the word "Thar" and then automatically add the words "she blows"?

Most of all though, I wondered what could possibly make a saddle "29er specific," but fortunately the press release had the answer:

The concept
Called the THAR, the new perch addresses a number of issues that riders and bike fitters were facing with big-wheeled mountain bikes. The changes in frame geometry needed to accommodate bigger wheels often result in shallower seat angles and longer top tubes, which tends to move the rider's weight further back relative to the wheelbase.

Unique features
The key design element of the THAR saddle is that the rails are 25mm longer than comparable saddles, with the extra length being added at the rear. This gives a usable rail length of 95mm and, because the rails are effectively offset more to the back, there's scope to move the saddle considerably further forward than most. Positioning the saddle further forward corrects the weight distribution on long 29er frames, improving climbing performance and enhancing front-wheel grip. The result is a well-balanced ride with no fighting to keep the front wheel on the ground on steep climbs, leaving the rider able to focus on pedaling.

Another unique feature is the shortened tail of the saddle; this gives improved clearance to the rear wheel if a dropper post is used. The height of a 29in rear wheel can limit how far the seat can be dropped, but the THAR’s shape fixes that.

Tunable comfort
The THAR also includes a choice of two Tuner Inserts. These easily-swapped Nylon spacers effectively change the amount of tension along the top of the saddle shell, allowing the rider to customize the flex in the saddle. With the Soft insert, the top of the saddle is able to flex a little more for extra comfort. Riders looking for a solid pedaling platform and who are willing to compromise on comfort can use the Hard insert.

After quite a few years of 29er riding I have never had a problem with positioning the saddle, but if you have and you've been scanning the horizons for a solution then "Thar she blows."

Yeah, that's right, I just did F''"i,,><>()zi':'{}k's homework for them for free.

Meanwhile, remember how there was this woman in Portland who got famous because she uses a bake-feets instead of a car?  Well, her feets just got yoinked:



Emily Finch, a southeast Portland mom of six who doesn't drive a car, has had her beloved cargo bike stolen. Finch was the subject of a BikePortland profile in June 2012. The story turned Finch into something of a media sensation, as her story traveled all around the globe, landed her a spot on a daytime TV talk show in Los Angeles, and more.

Now, the bike that transformed her life in more ways than one is gone.

Finch parked the bike in the side yard of her home in Ladd's Addition last night. Unfortunately, she left the keys in the bike (it's a bakfiets that has a keyed-entry rear wheel lock) and it was gone when she went outside this morning.

Even worse though is that all the terminally smug BikePortland readers are leaving comments criticizing her for her mistake.  You know what?  You people have some freaking nerve--like you'd be able to hold onto your precious Speedvagens for more than fourteen hours in a real city.  Plus, this woman has six goddamn kids!  I'm surprised she kept the bike as long as she did.  In fact, I'm amazed she manages to keep track of her children, let alone a bike.  Try taking six kids to Target without losing at least two of them and then go back to BikePortland and leave your stupid comment.

Oh, right, I forgot.  People in Portland don't go to Target.  They go to Walnut Studios and get hand-tooled leather baby underpants.

Whatever. You people should be ashamed of yourself.  I've been to Portland, and I've seen how you "lock" your bikes.  Really, the only reason I didn't steal two or three myself is I didn't want to pay the airline's exorbitant bike fees to bring them home.

Speaking of real cities, the New York Times is gloating about the fact that after five months no Citi Bike riders have been killed:


Way to jinx it.

Also, it seems to me that this isn't much of a milestone considering SUVs running over children on the sidewalk is a regular occurrence here, but it's still pretty funny to see how wrong people were:

John Pucher, a professor of urban planning and public policy at Rutgers University and a longtime cycling advocate, said last year that he expected “at least a doubling and possibly even a tripling in injuries and fatalities among cyclists and pedestrians during the first year.”

Though like a typical academic, Professor Pucher is still hoping people get hurt so that he'll ultimately be proven right, because that's what's most important:

Mr. Pucher said in an interview last week that while he regretted predicting a doubling or tripling in bike deaths, he would be “really surprised” if future data did not reveal at least a modest increase in injuries.

Putz.

And speaking of bike share, a reader tells me that Boulder's bike share is now sponsored by a condom company:


Sir Richard’s ads will be placed on the B-cycle bike’s handlebars next to cycling safety information (see photo below), connecting safe sex and safe cycling. 

Cute, but why not just put a condom on the handlebars?


Now that's safety.

180 comments:

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Ding ding.

Anonymous said...

fitting that WCRM rolls on Rock n Roads

Anonymous said...

POdium?

Anonymous said...

Wuh wuh

babble on said...

T-T-T-T-Tuesday!

RoadQueen said...

WOOT! Way to go RCT!

Jasper said...

Early doors

Yeah Cleveland! said...

Tep ton again!

Anonymous said...

top 10

Synonymous said...

Ten!?!

Marcel Da Chump said...

Thar's it?

babble on said...

Now THAT's keeping the rubber side down! Someone should show lovely Emily Finch how to use one of those things properly...

DB said...

Recumbabe.

mikeweb said...

Bottom bracket porn is my fave.

Yo rct, no 'bents allowed.

Disqualified.

commentbot_2020 said...

Read it and still bitter.

Switch to a file tread pattern and be free of motorcycle-induced, got-nothing-to-do-with-bicycles marketing.

What are the categories of tire clearance porn?

Tight fit size king/queens?
Loose fit cuckholding?

Maybe work some foot fetish in there somehow?

RoadQueen said...

No way, 'bents are ALWAYS allowed, if ya know what I mean.

Anonymous said...

It is a miracle you did not fall and hurt yourself on that goofy contraption.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Sorry mikeweb you ain't the UCI around here. I'm only steppin off this podium if and when the word comes down from the big guy.

And certainly not until I get dual podio kisses from RQ and babble.

Yarpo said...

Nipples of Indeterminate Color!
Nipples of Indeterminate Color!
Nipples of indeterminate Color!

Sorry, I'm still excited by last week's blog.

Now to read both yesterday AND today, since I wasn't able to view it at work because, according to the blocker, "sex" content was invading BSNYC.

Shocking!

Freddy Murcks said...

Can I be fitted with a 29er-specific scranus? Because what we really need in order to turn up the heat on this 26 vs. 650b vs. 29er debate is bicycle-specific body modification surgery.

urespute 29a

ge said...

29ers roll over everything so smoothly you need to design the saddle to be less comfortable.

Tirepornwithhipstercyst

Anonymous said...

sooo did yesterday's leafy ride involve the new fly-guy panties?

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Great post Wildcat. I liked the link with the side story on the Rock 'n Road 700c tire and the import duty issues that kept this fine tire from making the mainstream.

Reminds me of another conspiracy in the beik world.

Damn your photography skillz are really coming along. Nice work.

babble on said...

DORKDORKDORKDORK
Can't help it- Dorks-R-Us! I even dorked out about a little stretch of road over the weekend.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Recumbent Conspiracy Theorist,

My photography isn't improving, but cellphone cameras are.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Did you see any turtles on the new highway babs?

babble on said...

I can still take gawd-awful photos with my smarting phone.

That's whatchacall talent.

babble on said...

Nope! Not one! But I'll be sure to go back and check on that.

Road Queer said...

Roll condom onto handlebar.
Lightly graze scranus.
Insert into preferred orifice.
Think about Bike Snob.
That is all.

Anonymous said...

The Jacket is called the "Fixed" and no, they don't make it anymore.

I have one and I like it, but it leaks in the arms so I'm not sure why they call it "The Fixed".

It is a nice jacket though.

g. said...

Spent the weekend on a 3-day 180 mile tour that took a group of us into Chattanooga. Their bikeshare bikes aren't from CitiBank, but they are the same blue. Not sure of the death-toll as related to their use, but no one seemed too upset over the color. Check out The Crash Pad for some really cool/affordable/bike friendly digs to stay in if you're ever down that way.

Anonymous said...

rumor has it that if you combine the organic scranus vent on the Raphat pants you can save precious seconds off your strava pee time competition

Billy said...

I like the cat tail and toy skeleton jacket porn better than the tire clearance porn.

Anonymous said...

Those woods sure look like a great place to spark up a doobie.

the Jimboner said...

Tiny recumbabe I am squeezing your head.

streepo said...

I have been reading your blog for 6 years now so you know i love you but please stop showing your snob nuts hole in the rapha pants.

congrats RCT!
scanus

fanslav 319

leroy said...

My dog insists that THAR is an ancronym for That Hat Ain't Right.

Well of course THAR would make a silly hat.

That hardly astounds realists.

crosspalms said...

I think Snob actually has 2 cats and has named them Presta and Schrader.

The new Rivendell catalog came in the mail yesterday. My favorite part so far is this warning about the Brooks B17 Select: "Darkens with exposure to methane." I think that means don't fart on it.

McFly said...

Emily my dear...those are logs, not kids.

babble on said...

Yeah, kisses RCT! XX

I love that we're still talking about peeing, but please please don't tell me there's a Strava pee-time competition.

I'm waaaaaaaay too competitive for my own good.

babble on said...

Crosspalms - WTF?! :D

Thank you. Still laughing...!

McFly said...

Hey g did ya'll climb that lil hill up to Lookout Mountain?

Flyover bike commuter said...

hand-tooled leather baby underpants,

Keep it to yourself. That's just too kinky for us flyovers.

Yarpo said...

I would think that with six kids, Ms. Finch could always assign at least one to Bakefeeyetz Guard Duty. Can't you see it? Little Erastus Finch marching back and forth, stern-faced, armed with his little artisanal handmade kid-size crossbow and shouting, "HALT! Who goes there?" at passersby!

Four hours on, twenty hours off. It leaves Emily a surplus of five kids to whatever it is you do with five kids.

In reference to yesterday: PISS BIBS

In reference to today: Salute to rct, Anon 11:43, and Anon 11:43 the 2nd. I'll leave it to the ladies to give you xoxo's and flowers in bunches, but I will happily bestow upon you...lets see what we have here...an empty toilet paper tube which symbolizes getting 3rd Place perfectly, a broken metronome from Future Mrs. Yarpo's violin-playing days of yesteryear that looks like a trophy of sorts and which totally symbolizes 2nd Place, and for the winner: an empty bottle of 2006 Cycles Gladiator California Zinfandel!!!!!!!!! Yes, half-naked lady is on the label, thanks for asking!

rct, I don't know which anthem you would like to hear upon this momeh-ntous moment of palmarian splendor, so I'll let you pick.

I hope McFly and Countess McFly didn't get poison ivy or sumac or something yesterday on their amorous mountainy bicycling adventure while rolling around the floor of the forest...

Anonymous said...

Breaking news

Toronto Mayor Puff 'N Stuff admits he smoked crack, but it is OK because he did it when he was drunk

http://abcnews.go.com/International/wireStory/toronto-mayor-admits-smoked-crack-20790577

Maybe he got rid of the bike lanes because the white lines were calling to him as he drove his fat ass around

Freddy Murcks said...

And in Canada-related news, Robba the Fords has copped to the fact that he smoked crack. His excuse is that he was drunk at the time and that his judgment was apprently impaired. Is that actually an excuse? Is the office of the Mayor of Toronto so thoroughly a figurehead position that it's okay that their mayor can be both a drunk and a crackhead and that's okay? I would think admitting that he is a drunk, which has apparently been common knowledge, would be enough to force Robba to resign. Sheesh.

155 itartmor

leroy said...

In honor of Mayor Rob Ford's admission to reporters earlier today that he has smoked crack, my dog thought it appropriate to paraphrase Mayor Ford's famous 2010pronouncement on bikes and bike lanes:

"And what I compare [smoking crack] to is swimming with the sharks. Sooner or later you're going to get bitten," said Ford speaking in 2010 as a Toronto city council-member.

"And every year we have dozens of people that get hit by cars or trucks. Well, no wonder: roads are built for buses, cars, and trucks, not for people on [crack].

"My heart bleeds for them when I hear someone gets killed, but it's their own fault at the end of the day."

Ahh Robbie, we hardly knew ye.

But what we knew was more than enough.

RoadQueen said...

Podio kisses, RCT XX OO *pinch*

I'll let you pick where the pinch goes.

The rest of the podium was claimed by the Anonymous crowd - Not sure if one got 2nd and third, or if there are separate 2nd and 3rd placers?

Either way, congrats to all.

Anonymous said...

A couple of things there snobbo. numero uno, if Mrs Finch, mother of 6 from Portland who does not own a car, was so concerned about the environment maybe she should have considered not replicating herself six fucking times, leaving like 12 mini carbon footprints, all over the damn place. What the hell!

Secondly most of all: that fucking jon stewart link in the nytimes article is fucking offensive, "Street Brain Cleaning Service" - that's supposed to a fucking joke? When did he become such an unfunny unbearable douchebag. I have two words for Jonny Doucheface - 1. Stephen 2. Colbert - half the smug twice the humor. Good day sir.

babble on said...

What an ultramaroon! Yeah, he smokes crack, but he fer sure wasn't lying in the spring when he vehemently denied it.

And they're still saying he might win another term!

This country is sooooo fucked up.

balls™ said...

Do they make a 29er specific condom?

Anonymous said...

Leroy funny stuff. but show of hands from anyone who hasn't accidently smoked crack while drunk.

Call me Ishmael said...


Thar she blow's.

Alas, if it were only true.

I'll forever be cursed with a Moby Dick.

McFly said...

We had a glorious time but none of the Hanky panky that requires a hanky to clean up your panky. Wildcat is right about those leaves chameleonizing all the roots and rocks. We had to use all of our fortitude to make it around that bitch in an upright state. Still.....a high-speed tug-job sittin' on a log at a scenic overlook would have been nice.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Was the irony unintentional when first writing about the mother of six, then the condom company bike sponsorship deal?

g. said...

McFly,
We came into town down that. But we climbed the other end of that ridge that comes out of Alabama. We managed to go out a different way back toward Georgia on Sunday. I don't think climbing that with panniers would have been nearly as much fun as descending it was.

RoadQueen said...

@WIWM: Now THAT'S what I want to know.

DB said...

Funniest comment of the day is called early for Crosspalms.

RoadQueen said...

CNDM BIKE
RIDE SAFE
PHAT TIRE
BTTM BRKT
JUNK TRNK
MANY KIDS
LTHR DPRS
SLIK SHIT
SILK BXRS
OPEN FLYS
HAND JOBS

DB said...

And Anon at 1:09.

CommieCanuck said...

Breaking news: the Fat Fuck admits he smoked crack, and everything you heard about the video was true.

... and orientals are taking over.

DB said...

I sent some photos to the Big Guy of my Bike of Shame for all of you to make fun of.
I have a twenty year old crabon Kestrel mountain bike with Spinergy wheels. Totally Fredded out at the time. Only problem is that it's a great bike. Indestructible.

CommentatorBot9000 said...

Sheldon says that rear tire should be flipped around.

http://sheldonbrown.com/tires.html

Almost at the bottom, under Tread Directionality, Off-road Applications:

“Ideally, you would like the front tire to offer maximum traction in the braking direction, while the rear tire would normally be oriented to produce maximum traction for drive forces. Thus, if a particular tread pattern is perceived to have better traction in one direction than the other, it should be facing one way if used on the front wheel, and the opposite way if used on the rear wheel.”

CommieCanuck said...

Geez...I really should read the comments...

Breaking News: Ryder Hesjedal..oh, never mind.

CommieCanuck said...

I have had anal sex with sheep, but in my defence, I was on crack because I was drunk , because I got $400 cash for my kid on the open slave market.
Ford More Years!

FORD MORE

Anonymous said...

Rob Ford smoked crack. Steve Tilford did not.

Anonymous said...

I'm more shocked by the fact that Robs Fords is only 44 than that he smoked crack. Duder needs to lay off the sweets and hit the gym once in a while. His neck and chin have fully merged and are approaching critical mass.

Peter Allan said...

How is that travel bike now not a "gravel bike?" Maybe disk brakes.

Anonymous said...

LOLOLOLOLOL, mid 90's Kestrel with Spinergies = indestructable.

Maybe if it serves as a Seinfeld style wall decoration.

Spinergy explode

Comment deleted said...

It's ok, Commie, you've long slaved away at being this blog's official Robs Fords correspondent, so it's not true until we hear it from you.

I'm glad to hear that the majority of Robs Fords are owning up to having a crack problem.

Comment deleted said...

And that problem is, his crack has disappeared inside of several belts of sweaty flab.

Anonymous said...


Sheldon Brown didn't know fuck all about knobby tires.

The tires on Snobby's bike are fucktarded for numerous reasons, but they are oriented correctly.

Side lugs are pinner and flexy, and I have no idea how to explain the thought process that decided to connect them to the intermediate and center lugs. This will not help any trait, rolling resistance, braking or cornering. I think it was more: this pattern looks kinda cool...

Side lugs need gaps between intermediate knobs.

Those tires look like they roll slow, AND corner poorly at limits of traction. Worst of both worlds. They do seem like they would brake in a straight line half way decently. Though heavy braking is not really a trait I prioritize on a all around road bike. A tire pattern like the Tioga Block 8 or Maxxis Larsen TT would be a million times better for all around mixed surface use.

In conclusion, your bike sucks.

The Commentariat said...

Ya know Cj everytime you use the word fucktarded we know its you. But thank you for scaling back on the quantity here of late.

Mr Plow said...

I was promised a casserole recipe damn it!

CommieCanuck said...

I'm more shocked by the fact that Robs Fords is only 44 than that he smoked crack. Duder needs to lay off the sweets and hit the gym once in a while. His neck and chin have fully merged and are approaching critical mass.

His brother, Doug, is not just following him, he's in low orbit.

RoadQueen said...

@Mr Plow:

Rabbit Casserole
Prep Time: 1 Hour
Cook Time: 1 Hour
Ready In: 2 Hours
Servings: 4
"Rabbit and smoked bacon casserole, flavored with chocolate, vegetables, and potatoes, then garnished with croutons and fresh parsley. The chocolate is optional, but adds a sophisticated twist to the flavors."

INGREDIENTS:

2 (2 pound) rabbits, dressed and
deboned, bones reserved

1 tablespoon mirepoix base

1/2 cup all-purpose flour

salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste

1 tablespoon vegetable oil

2 carrots, diced

1/2 onion, chopped

1 leek, chopped

1 turnip, diced

2 medium potatoes - peeled and cubed

1/2 pound smoked bacon, cubed

1 tablespoon tomato puree

3 (1 ounce) squares bittersweet
chocolate, chopped (optional)

2 tablespoons vegetable oil

3 slices white bread

1 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley

DIRECTIONS:

1. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C). Season rabbit bones with mirepoix base, and place in a 9x13 inch baking dish or similar. Roast for 30 minutes, or until browned and fragrant.

2. Remove rabbit bones to a saucepan, and add enough water to cover by about 1 inch. Bring to a boil, then cook over medium-high heat until the liquid is reduced by half to provide a stock for the recipe. This will take up to 30 minutes depending on the size of your pan.

3. Mix the flour, salt, and pepper. Coat rabbit pieces with the seasoned flour. Heat 1 tablespoon of oil in the dish used to bake the rabbit bones. Cook rabbit pieces over medium-high heat, or in the oven, just until evenly browned on the outside.

4. Remove rabbit pieces, and add the carrots, onion, leek, turnip and potatoes. Add bacon, and if necessary, a little more oil. Place the rabbit pieces over the vegetables. Mix together your homemade rabbit stock and tomato puree; pour into the baking dish. Cover tightly with aluminum foil or a lid. Reduce the oven temperature to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).

5. Bake the rabbit casserole for about 1 hour, or until rabbit is cooked through. Adjust the seasonings to taste. If you wish to use the chocolate, mix it in at this time.

6. Heat 2 tablespoons of oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Trim the crusts from the bread slices, and slice in half diagonally or into cubes. Fry bread in oil until lightly browned.

7. Serve casserole in the pan, topped with fried bread (or croutons) and sprinkled with chopped parsley.

You're welcome.

Regular guy said...

Sometimes a guy's just gotta vent the scranus. I've brought on more trouble than I care to tell because of that. Discrete holes in the pants would not have helped.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, sorry, I meant to finish my Halloween story, but I got distracted by Asperger's research.

We did not bang due to rubber/lunar cycle issues. Though we were EXTREMELY compatible in terms of carnal desire.

I told her I'm an asshole, and about the nekkid pic I received while dancing with her. She was really understanding.

I honestly liked her alot, and the leaving the next day thing bothered me. I told her about the Belgian woman (though did not bring up the Cambodian), and that how my most satisfying relationships with girls are fleeting by nature.

She has several tattoos, including a bike with circular saw blades for wheels on her ass, and BIKE! on the inside of her lip.

2wheeler said...

Nice:

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/toronto/rob-ford-councillors/article15263319/#dashboard/follows/

CommieCanuck said...

Can squirrels be substituted for rabbits? I'm out of croutons , is hash cake ok?

RoadQueen said...

@CC:

No. You need to hit the woods and then your local food procurement facility. Posthaste.

ge said...

Babs, he didn't lie. He said "I don't take crack cocaine (READ: in fact I haven't taken it for almost a week now)"
"nor am I a crack addict (READ: I don't feel like I'm an addict)" Of all the dumb things he says, a lot of his carefully prepared statements are pretty lawyered up. Don't recall him claiming to never have used it.

RoadQueen said...

CC, I pondered the hash cake part and decided that it might work.

The recipe does call for chocolate. So I'm thinking, Special Bunny Brownies.

CommieCanuck said...

Ya know Cj everytime you use the word fucktarded we know its you. But thank you for scaling back on the quantity here of late

The new word for November is Torontard.
Noun: the Torontards ripped out more bike lanes. Torontards continue to support Mayor Ford.
Adjective: that city plan is Torontarded.

DB said...

Anon, 1:46.
I did admit that it was the bike of shame.
Haven't blown out the wheels yet and I'm aware of the issues with them.
I bet I could sell that bike in Brooklyn.

balls™ said...

I'm not sure, but there are days it might be better to be in Rob Ford's Toronto than to live in this embarrassment of a southern State, here in Canada's underpants.

Vernal Magina said...

Walnut Studios, good one :)

Johnny Wad said...

Why is that condom so small? Is that a joke? That receptacle resevoir tip would get blowed off like so many champagne corks.

HIPR SURE

JB said...

Snob, what part of the bars do you hold on to when doing semi-technical descending? I think about riding a bike equipped similar to yours and I can't decide if I'd want to be up on top or in the drops. Up top: more maneuverable (leverage), higher center of gravity (over the bars). Drops: less maneuverable, lower COG.

Also, can someone Photoshop David Byrne in the front of Emily Finch's (a bird last name, of course) bakefiets? They both don't own cars, so...

Anonymous said...

What I want to know...

Does David Byrne own a child?

Anonymous said...



Gotta go to Johnny T for drop bar shred nasty advice

BikeSnobNYC said...

JB,

I use the drops.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

CommieCanuck said...

I'm pretty sure that with the admission by Rob Ford today, David Byrne will crack and be seen driving around in a Plymouth muscle car yelling at women, "hey..it's gotta hemi...", and "hey, this IS my beautiful car...".

Dooth said...

Leroy funny stuff. but show of hands from anyone who hasn't accidently smoked crack while drunk.

November 5, 2013 at 1:09 PM

Well, me, kinda-sorta...tripped over a crack on sidewalk while drunk.

CommieCanuck said...

JB..drops...you need to get the best leverage on those breaks, especially if they are SRAM hydraulic.

SHIT BRKS

Anonymous said...

Sloth > octopus > owl > typical bird

Dooth said...

Leroy funny stuff. but show of hands from anyone who hasn't accidently smoked crack while drunk.

Me!!!! ... Actually, I accidently tripped over a crack in a sidewalk while drunk...on my way back to the bar, a couple of minutes ago. How's my spelling? Things are blurry.

Anonymous said...

This is a fun one.

http://deadspin.com/can-you-ride-a-bike-in-the-city-without-being-an-asshol-1447378693

Roille Figners said...

I ordered the murder of Anthony Smith, but it was only because I was on crack, and that was only because I was drunk, which is mainly because I'm simply angry and a douchebag totally unsuited to public office, but you knew that already.

crosspalms said...

Apparently Toronto was drunk when it voted for Ford. Doesn't even remember doing it.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

100th... yay!

Anonymous said...

Robs Fords said....

RQ, only two rabbits? Can I substitute cows for rabbits in the recipe?

Anonymous said...

I sort of believe Blob Fjord when he says he may of smoked a little crack, during one of his "many" druken stupors (he actually said that), but that he is not a crack addict. Have you ever seen a 450lb crack addict?

Anonymous said...

englishstu.....

Top 104!

We even got a whole page feature on Robba the Fords on the BBC website today.......

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-24824648

tacticip 1093

DB said...

Baronial today, Snob.

wishiwasmerckx said...

A CJ daily double! A condescending know-it-all post about off-road tire tread followed by another fairy tale about a girl he never met but kinda sorta claims to have fucked.

Roille Figners said...

Last place for funniest comment goes to me above.

Gotta admit I ain't never seen me a 450-lb crack addict. Although most of them are subtracting crack money from the food budget and burning calories running from cops. This guy has a mayor's salary and his own police force.

Roille Figners said...

^^ new least-funny comment ^^

Anonymous said...

Anon 3:37 - good find - best comment in response was:

"May I make an addition to the list? Jim Windolf is also an asshole"

Who really thinks "on your left" is militant? That moron should run for office.

ps - I love spandex

robot mind control 605 outsob

Lumpen Fredetariat said...

Now I would never think that Robba Fords had anything in common with a pro cyclist, but his language of denial (ge said..Babs, he didn't lie. He said "I don't take crack cocaine (READ: in fact I haven't taken it for almost a week now)"
"nor am I a crack addict (READ: I don't feel like I'm an addict)" Of all the dumb things he says, a lot of his carefully prepared statements are pretty lawyered up. Don't recall him claiming to never have used it) brings him right in line with all those guys

Anonymous said...

Why I commentard:

-boredom
-piss off roadies
-make other people feel better about themselves in comparison to me.
-free headshrinker

I'm not sure why you think it's so goddamn hard to convince women to sleep with you?

Women are desperate for attention and validation. Witness the XX chromo commentors on this board.

step 1. be attractive aka masculine aka aggressive
step 2. I HAVE TOLD YOU HOW TO DO THIS ALREADY

BONE ZONE

Regular guy said...

Yeah, Rabba the Ford doesn't take crack, he pays for it fair and square.

Comment deleted said...

step 3: brag about it on the internet, publishing private correspondence from women you have/will hurt.

grog said...

yes, recumbabe.

McFly said...

Our human resources lady had a booty that looked a lot like the one depicted in the video until she lost 30 pounds. It's still pretty nice. We all tell her so and she acts very mildly non-plussed/offended but we know she is full of it. Because she sashays it through the plant like a tambourine wrapped in neoprene ALOT more than she used to. She expressed an interest to me in cycling today. Not sure if it's Lycra compatable. Yet.

leroy said...

Broke out the Bar Mitts this morning.

Not really cold, just wanted to see what they'll be like on the road bike I use to commute.

I couldn't get in the drops.

But they keep the hands nice and toasty.

So today you could say I had my Bar Mitts ahh.

Thank you, I'm here 'til Thursday. Try the veal.

(I don't mean to brag, but my dog says Mr. Roilie Fingers has nothing on me when it comes to the Lantern Rouge of humor.)

Jack Handy said...

Brag is an ugly word. I prefer SHARE. or CONFESS.

I kind of feel like it is impossible to brag anonymously. Isn't the whole point of bragging to big up yourself? If there is no "self", there is no bragging.

Comment deleted said...

What a load of bullshit, you walking pile of low self-esteem. You cross the line into total dick-hood when you share private correspondence, whether it's anonymous or not.

Anonymous said...

Dood, I totally make that up to piss off WIWM!

babble on said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
babble on said...


GE- Of course! He never denied smoking crack, he only denied being filmed doing it. The devil is in the details.

He apologised for embarrassing everyone, bless his scheming heart. This global laughing-stock of a mess simply has to be good for Toronto's cyclists in the long run, though.

Doesn't it?

Frilly Chick said...

RQ--I am crying for those bunnies.

McFly--have you ridden up Lookout Mountain? If so, you are a beast. I remember stopping at the Hardee's there on the way back from Florida (pre-vegan days). I was standing by the car trying to figure out if that's a monastery up there when my soda slid off the car roof & went all down the front of me. Many bad words. Turned around to see Mom, Dad, kids sitting in the car next to ours with their windows down, mouths agape. Yes, I did apologize.

Comment deleted said...

So you're saying you're not a dick, just a liar? OK, got it.

Jean Baudrillard said...


One may dream of a culture where everyone bursts into laughter when someone says: this is true, this is real.

The only thing worse than being bored is being boring.

There is no aphrodisiac like innocence.

JB said...

"like a tambourine wrapped in neoprene"

WTF, McFly. LOL

Comment deleted said...

You are a regular fountain of self-serving pseudo-intellectual rationalization for being a shithead.

I don't think you made up the redhead's angry letter, because she described you more honestly than you ever would.

Roille Figners said...

A tambourine wrapped in neoprene -- see, that's helpful, I know just what to picture. The one cheek dips, the other jumps, and the fabric spanning the valley between makes up the offset by wrinkling into a pattern of diagonal ripples = HOT

Roille Figners said...

-- Connasseur

But eventually when I got bored of eating all that pussy and crack-of-ass, I needed someone who could actually stand to be around me.

Anonymous said...

Comment Deleted - why do you engage CJ? His chosen name means one thing - he is here to be an ass and see if he can get under the skin of other commentards. It works, so he keeps at it. And the wheels go round ...

etureaf 79

Comment deleted said...

I don't know, I guess I feel like it. If it's annoying a bunch of people, I'll stop. This late in the day, does it really matter? I mean, DB has given out his award...this is just garbage-time.

McFly said...

Plus she is a true blonde. If you know what I mean. About the blonde. Trueness. HER PUSSY MUFF IS PROBABLY VERY WISPY AND SUCH.

negative on the lookout mountain. Think its like 1700 feet in 5 miles. Saw a guy doing it last year. It squelched my ambitions. Need a 22t 110 BCD chainring.

Sir Lancelot VonArmstrong of Epoville said...

Dear Sir and/or Madame,

Scranus.

Fondly,
Sir Lancelot VonArmstrong of Epoville

JB said...

BLND BUSH
SPUN GOLD

Anonymous said...

I don't make anything up.

Occasionally I posted "personal" correspondence because I think it will be funny, entertaining, offensive, and you are all bored out of your gourds at work, and probably appreciate the distraction. You're welcome.

I don't see how it hurts anyone? I mean, you don't know who I am, so you don't know who they are? It's not like this blog reaches a larger audience than middle aged gapers with sticks up their asses AKA not my romantic target demographic.

The redhead is talking to me again. She thinks it is entirely likely that I do have mild asperger's instead being a sociopath.

Anonymous said...

Crumb explains the bean effect

True conasseur

ge said...

crosspalms - which is why he'll probably be re-elected. Seems to be enough Torontards to vote him in. (Disclaimer: this is no reflection on the fine people of Toronto as I'm fully aware of how low voter turnout is in municipal elections, however, being a resident of Canada outside of the centre of the universe, it's fun to say Torontards. Torontards.)

Roille Figners said...

Just saw Fords on the tee vee. They looked like they might cry. Then they said they had nobody to blame but themselves, and I was like NO SHIT, ASSHOLE!

GRBG TIME

Roille Figners said...

Sorry, I mean ASSHOLES.

TRUE BLND

Anonymous said...

First, Rock and Road!

Second, UPDATE: Finch has just posted to Twitter that she has found the keys she thought were in her bike. She didn't leave it unlocked after all.

Comment deleted said...

Why don't you ask her how she feels about you posting her letter to the internet? I'm sure it will be ok, and she won't decide that you are a fucking sociopath after all.

Anonymous said...

Why I don't I tell her I talk about her with my pastor? Or my headshrinker? Or write in my diary? SAME SHIT

In all honesty, the likely hood of her becoming aware of my confession on here is far lower than if I consulted a professional.

Larry's therapist

Besides. I don't want help. I am a cyclist. I WANT TO SUFFER.

YOUS UCK!

Roille Figners said...

Who's the bloated fucking dick who's a sex machine to all the chicks?

Fords

You damn right

Roille Figners said...

I like garbagetime.

TITS MCGE

Comment deleted said...

Yeah, you're right. Posting a heartfelt, very private letter to a potentially world-wide audience, for purposes of entertainment in no way dishonors the feelings therein.

So, really, go ahead and tell her, she won't mind. It's no different than telling your pastor, after all. Do you sleep with that mind?

anonymoose said...

CJ_Anyone that would dis Sheldon Brown, even if he deserved it, is a consummate fucktard. He was biking when your daddy was in diapers, and his advice was researched and well thought-out. He lived to help others, something totally foreign to you.

Anonymous said...

I want to show the world how egotistical and disgusting you really are. I hope your true light shines through so that others may glimpse at the reality that exists within you. All you care about is sex and mating and you have no respect for women.

First off. This is not heartfelt. This is reactionary firecrotch anger because I challenged her image of beauty and youthfulness. Secondly, I am in fact, helping show the world, as she puts it.

Thirdly, this is not LOLmemes. Worldwide audience is A BIT of an exaggeration.

At one point, I used to talk with other bike riders about BSNYC, and drop references. They never knew what the fuck I was on about. Old people read this blog. I wonder if there are any readers under 30?

Comment deleted said...

Your true light shines through like a fucking lighthouse. And it's brown.

over 30 said...

They're over at LOLmemes

Roille Figners said...

I do appreciate any diversion from waiting for my damn computer to finish thinking about the massive data I just dropped on its puny little reality, BOOM

Comment deleted said...

Roille, this is one of the more inappropriate jokes I know.

A guy walks into his house with a sheep under his arm and says "This is the pig I've been fucking."

His wife says "Not only are you a pervert, you're an idiot! That's a sheep!"

He says "I wasn't talking to you."

Dustcap said...

Hmmm... With all the buildup of dropped foliage this time of year perhaps a leaf bike is in order.

BamaPhred said...

Under 30 is over on 4chan wanking to anime porn. We're here wanking to tire porn.

Does the rabbit casserole prep time assume you already have the rabbits in hand and ready to cook?

Or do you have to go road hunting? Sometimes cuisine quality road kill can be hard to find.

Yep, it's garbage time.

Anonymous said...

Did not "dis" Sheldon. I simply said he didn't know fuck all about knobby tires. Which is accurate. He was not particularly interested in suspension, disc brakes, BMX racing or the many freestyle subsets, racing in general, mountain bikes, etc, etc, etc.

Dooder knew a whole lot about Fred bikes (in the traditional Fred sense). But not "getting rad" bikes. Honestly, I do not think there is a cyclist more Fredly, than Sheldon Brown, and it irritates me that the word has been co-opted.

http://sheldonbrown.com/tires.html
The section on butyl vs. latex tubes is as long as the section on knobby tires. The whole bit about running rear tire backward is just wrong.

No mention of:
-durometer
-center knob
-intermediate knob
-side knob
-ramped knobs
-multi ply casing
-chevrons
-siping
etc, etc, etc These are BASIC CONCEPTS of understanding off road tires.

The last Knobby tire mentioned is Specialized Ground Control, which came out in the 80's.

I rest my case.
Tires are boring as fuck, but do affect the handling of your bike more than any other component.

McFly said...

......inappropiateness.......baby girl taped a sheet of paper to her door that says EVERYONE THAT ENTERS MUST SIGN THIS: so in really scraggly handwriting I signed THE CLOSET MONSTER. She is freakin out a little cause no one will own up to it.

crosspalms said...

You know who else didn't know fuck all about knobby tires? Shakespeare.

Anonymous said...

a bunch of middle-old guys....

I resemble that..


dancesonpedals

Anonymous said...

I don't think Monty Python ever did a skit about knobby tyres.

Anonymous said...

Nobody quoted Shakespeare as an authority on knobby tires..... yet.

The course of true love never did run smooth.

that satisfaction can be none but by pangs of death and sepulchre. Hob, nob, is his word; give't or take't.

The wheel is come full circle.

please don't feed the trolls said...

who cares?

ge said...

Chris Farley faked his death. His new role is AWESOME!

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Oli said...

I'm from New Zealand - there's your worldwide audience.

Fertile Emily Finch said...

What's a condom?

aldo ross said...

I suppose the name simplifies things in some regions of the USofA. "Wheredjagit that Thar saddle?"

McFly said...

Stevil Kinevil introduced This Little Jewel to start Hump Day.

babble on said...

Thanks for sharing that little jewel, McFly. It was almost ivory-tower-ish in it's artistic scope.

Heh heh... a sign of future medical problems indeed. :D

BamaPhred said...

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Motorboating!

babble on said...

Vancouver just won the dubious distinction of being North America's most traffic-congested city.


ge said...

Sure, congested when you're in a car. Not so much on a bike. Good thing people are lazy/scared. But then we have to deal with leaf congestion in the bike lanes right?

onHons 148 - mmm, won ton

babble on said...

Yep, I was just patting myself on the back and being all smug about my gorgeous commute.

I'll take leaves over car congestion ANY DAY.

babble on said...

PLUS leaves can be mighty handy if you need to wipe after a road-side pee.

Anonymous said...

watch out for slippery elm babs

dop

bg said...

Wow!!!
I finally made it into Bike Snob.
Enjoy the tires
Regards,
Bruce Gordon

McFly said...

Babble what is your Bib Short Vaginal Extraction Protocal? The Pop-N-Squat? You hold a tree for support? Drip dry? Nearest turtle? What aboot it?

babble on said...

I STILL don't own a pair of bib shorts! WHAT a late bloomer...

I've been known to pee standing, though - it's all in how you direct the flow, but it's pretty tough with a pair of chamois shorts between yer knees.

McFly said...

Unless you have a protrusive gut there is probably no advantage for a female to go that route. I like them cause they keep my junk placement stationary. With half-shorts it seems like a make alot of mid-ride adjustments. Which looks like I am playing with myself. And technically I am.

I would love to watch you pee. I am talking strictly from a physics standpoint. Not a pervy one. Uh huhhhhhhhhhhhh

babble on said...

LOL! Guys are so weird. I was quite pleased he didn't catch the great cloud of steam and the actual stream when he took that photo...

Romany Peopled said...

That tire looked not at all wet, and I'd bet it wasn't hot. Tire porn tease!! Back to look at the studded winter tires, now.

Szymon said...

In US of A the globe spans all the way from Portland to Los Angeles, nice.

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