Wednesday, August 7, 2013

This Wednesday Shaves Over 200 Grams Off Last Week's Model While Delivering Increased Vertical Compliance And Lateral Rigidity

It was a beautiful day yesterday:


(The view from my breakfast.)

And I had to go to the Brooklyn:


(Brooklyn, Portland, whatever, same diff.)

This was not a day to squander on a crowded subway train, or to fritter away hunched over the admonishing cockpit of a Citi Bike, generously sponsored by Citibank®, click here to browse their wide range of financial instruments and personal banking tools:


(The admonishing cockpit of a Citi Bike, generously sponsored by Citibank®, click here to browse their wide range of financial instruments and personal banking tools.)

No, it was a day to mount my own personal bicycle cycle cycling bicycle and enjoy a ride through the greatest city in America:



I've been to Cleveland, and I can assure you it's all that and less.

Wait, what was I talking about?

Oh, right.

Sorry, I always have to have a good cry after remembering Cleveland.

So yeah, I'm riding my bike to Brooklyn, and it's nice out, and the drivers are being their usual shitty selves but not doing anything extremely shitty, and so I'm in a good mood.  "How can life get any better?," I ask myself--and then I get to Central Park, where, incredibly, life does get better.  Is there anyplace more pleasant to be than Central Park on a bicycle on a sunny weekday?  Yes, of course there is.  There are like a million places.  Still, it's pretty good.  The cars are banished.  Most of the schmucks are at work.  It's just you, a few tourists, some stroller-pushers, and the odd CervĂ©lotard in half-shorts trying to out-Strava himself.

I was savoring all of this, when suddenly storm clouds massed overhead.  The sky became black.  Somewhere, a wolf howled, or possibly a Bichon FrisĂ©.  Then, over my shoulder, I heard the crackle of static electricity, my back hair stood on end, and then he appeared:


At first, all I saw was an apparition in black, but then my eyes began to make sense of the darkness.  The full tights.  The disc brakes.  The aero bars.  The pie plate:


And of course the teardrop aero helment, atop which was perched a crow, its midnight wings spreading from Inwood to the Battery as if to take flight:


Here's a closer look:



I also think I heard this song playing faintly in the distance, but I can't be sure.

Anyway, I tried to follow him, but I lost him when the crow actually carried him into the air and he eventually disappeared behind the Chrysler Building.

Then I got to where I was going, leaned my bike against what was once known as a "loading dock" and is now known as a "boutique," and I ordered myself a gyro from a cart:


It was good.

However, after the encounter, something began to bother me.  Had it indeed been a crow?  Or had it been a raven?  So I watched like 45 seconds of this video:



I dunno, it all looks like the same shit to me.

Speaking of the same shit, OH MY GOD THIS IS A HUGE DEAL YOU CAN GET POWER METER PEDALS NOW!


Finally, a pair of pedals that costs less than $2,000:

The Garmin Vector system will retail for $1,699 in the US and Australia and £1,349 in the UK. For that you will get the pedals, pods and cleats but no head unit. Our UK test set weighed 428g including cleats and bolts.

Sorry, Exustar pedals that cost less than $2,000:

With eight piezoresistive strain gauges in both spindles of the Exustar (Look compatible) pedals, the Garmin Vector power meter offers a wealth of data using the ANT+ wireless protocol.

Here's how they work:

Garmin are claiming the system is "essentially two power meters in one", as both pedals measure power, with each pod attachment able to transmit data. The left operates as a slave, delivering data via ANT+ to the right, which assimilates the information and sends it to any ANT+ head unit, Garmin or otherwise.

If you're new to cycling this may sound like a bunch of technical mumbo-jumbo, so allow me to explain it to you:  You suck.  Your left pedal senses that you suck, and then it tells your right pedal that you suck, and then together they calculate the exact level of your suckitude and in turn inform you that you suck via the suckage-monitoring device of your choice:


So why do you need to know that you suck?  Well, by carefully monitoring how badly you suck, you can suck more effectively in amateur bike races against other shitty bike riders.  Also, if it bothers you that you're competing against shitty bike riders whose bikes cost $2,000 more than yours did, you can simply bolt on these pedals instead of buying a new bicycle in order to attain Fredness parity.

Still, I'm not buying these until they come out with a gravel version.  At only $4,000 each (you'll need two, of course), the gravel-specific power pedal system will feature an integrated pebble analysis tool that compensates for loss of wattage due to gravel surface dissipation, as well as gravel deflector to shield the unit from projectiles--though of course you'll need to input the GPI (or "gravel per inch") of the surface you're riding on, and you'll also have to tether it to your tire pressure app in order to get a truly accurate readout.

But while we may be able to measure precisely how badly we suck, apparently we still don't know how bicycles work in the first place, as a reader informs me:


The publication plunged bicycle dynamics back into chaos. It turns out that taking into account the angles of the headset and the forks, the distribution of weight and the handlebar turn, the gyroscopic effects are not enough to keep a bike upright after all. What does? We simply don’t know. Forget mysterious dark matter and the inexplicable accelerating expansion of the universe; the bicycle represents a far more embarrassing hole in the accomplishments of physics.

So basically, we're being kept upright by mysterious forces.

All the more reason you need a dedicated gravel bike.

123 comments:

BamaPhred said...

Podium?

streepo said...

scranus

oh yeah said...

count it!

Anonymous said...

top 5!!

JB said...

Scranii.

Kari said...

And in globally important and earth shattering news, Beyonce rode a bicycle!

http://www.theatlanticcities.com/commute/2013/08/beyonce-bike-commuter/6453/

Anonymous said...

Top X

Yarpo said...

Podium for BamaPhred, streepo, and oh yeah said! Slapping my handlebars in idiotic, whiny, anger for me!

Scranuswaffle!

Freddy Murcks said...

Whoa, hold it. Too slow.

rofbrec 7

Anonymous said...

Top 10!

erikbeng said...

I think that Ravens vs. Crows guy was biased...

mikeweb said...

Snob,

During my lunchtime laps in Central park yesterday I saw the same crow-head man. I thought about snapping a photo but then saw you doing the same. Not really. But I did see him. Weird, because he doesn't look like Johnny Depp or Tonto.

I was also riding my brown cross check. Un-coupled though.

Comment deleted said...

Fuckin' bicycles...how do they work?

ChamoisJuice said...

ride with anger

Freddy Murcks said...

Wow! $1699 for pedals, but they don't sell you the head unit. That is understandable, however. I think it is against the law to offer headunits for sale. You have to find someone who is willing to give you that for free.

zteleav 40

Tom said...

Or we could all just get Fred Trikes:

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1377/4609849754_c7a8c4ce58_o.jpg

mikeweb said...

Isn't it obvious?? The dark mysterious forces that make bicycles work are embodied in the crow-headed dark rider of the lobacolypse.

Anyone knows that.

crosspalms said...

Other things the Citibike will tell you if you click:

Sit up straight

Pick up your feet when you walk

Don't point, it's rude

Close your mouth when you chew

Don't wipe your nose on your sleeve

Marcel Da Chump said...

Ravenhead flew over the Poedium.

Ansel said...

wow. you really do suck at pictures Snob.



undaple 9

Anonymous said...

Tep twonty-five Cleveland yeah!!!

Etherhuffer said...

I really am not rich enough to find out how much I suck. So ignorance truly is bliss, and cheaper too

balls™ said...

I've been at the office all day and I still don't know how I work, or for that matter, IF I am working at all.

AYHSMR
(all you haters suck my raven?)

ken e. said...

NEVR MORE
CROW HEAD

Anonymous said...

Ha! Hey BSNYC, did you know that Bret is in the blinky Workcycles ad on you very own blog?

Yarpo said...

Just finished last Friday's Quiz. Kept getting wrong answers and now the music from the Crits video is invading my brain.

MAKE IT STOOOOOOOOP!

Oh yeah, almost forgot, Podium Smooches/Flowers/Trophy-Medal-Bottle of Local Vintage-Silver AND Bronze to RoadQueen.

Too afraid to give smooches to streepo but a firm handshake and all the rest will do.

rupinga 11...new cassette from Meh Components

Now to continue to catch up to Monday, yesterday, and today.

McFly said...

Wait......is that a typo or are you calling US your mysterious forces?

I feel so sexy....like a horny raven.

KACAAWWW KACAAWWW

Anonymous said...

Bikes are sucked upright by suckitude.

DerZoots said...

WOW!

Super weednesndaying post. That's not the Master Bubble talking either, er, much. Lolz. I r high.



Robot Sobriety Checkpoint: 59 ovresp

I soooo failed the robo test yesterday. Scqarred. Hideously scarred.

Big Looser said...

, leaned by bike against what was one known as a "loading dock"

once

Like the blind Spanish lottery-ticket-buying cycling team.



dopagog51

Dope agog? On a Wednesday?
Are you Cleveland Steaming me?

Big Looser said...

leaned by bike against what was one known as a "loading dock"

my

my bike

Fritz said...

If I had a Corvid Helmet I might get some respect...right now with my
Watermelon Helmet I get no respect...no respect at all

McFly said...

Did you not learn anything from when you leaned your plastic bike up against something and destroyed the frame and had to call Mike Sinyard so he could dry your tears and pat your shoulder and tell you everything was going to be OK? Geez man learn from your mistakes.

BikeSnobNYC said...

McFly,

I learned to stick to metal bicycles.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

leroy said...

Oh dear.

I owe my dog an apology.

I thought he was being snarky when he said scientists couldn't explain how I stay upright on a bicycle.

(Note to the commentators earlier this morning discussing ways to stave off canine attacks while riding. My dog suggests throwing theater tickets. But not the cheap seats.)

ge said...

Looks pretty small, so initially I thought it was a crow. Still, you say it carried him off and you'd need something fucking huge like a raven to do it, so yeah, it was definitely Odin. That dude's got like, mad shape shifting skillz.

scranus

Bigger Loser said...

So, um, what's looser? Your helment? Your pants? Buy a smaller one/pair already.

And on your way to criticising Snob's grammar, you discovered first hand, in front of all of us, just how hard it is to get it right.

How ironic. You're one step closer to your hipster badge.

mikeweb said...

ge,

I thought it might be Odin too, but Odin's raven usually sits on his shoulder. Plus, this guy had both eyes intact.

Anonymous said...

Dear Kari,

You just made my llama spit a little bit.

Blog Drafter said...

Ravens are all, like, c'mhere bitch and crows are all like, lemmie gitch'ya a doughnut n'all. Ravens are like T-Rex's and crows are like whatevsadons. Plus ravens get the good parts in poems and shit.

Got it?

Yarpo said...

Piezoresistive Strain Gauges? I don't need eight of them, I just need enough of them with the patented Nut Sack Adapter System to stabilize my nut sack whilst riding my roading cycling bicycle.

I didn't even know that Piezos are the enemy and that they must be resisted, or that there are gauges to let you know how much they are attacking you.

Is THAT how the Ass Monkeys kept killing us on the podium? Because of their superior Piezos?

I mean, like, fucking WOW, man.

telyzle 417 said...

maybe there was a snake

McFly said...

How sweet would it be if he had that black jersey custom stitched with white bird shit splattered down the back. I mean, crows and ravens have their differences but they both shit all over ground dwelling stuffs.

Flyover bike commuter said...

A bike stays upright because the rider keeps it that way...

not counting try-athletes.

ChamoisJuice said...

Pretty good post today. You are pretty funny when you make fun of people. It would have been better with some Yiddish.

Raven man's theme song needs to be STP or NIN from the Crow Soundtrack.

I was going to say, Raven man has the first gravel bike setup with aero bars...

but then I remembered THIS:
http://bikesnobnyc.blogspot.com/2008/09/i-am-highly-specialized-right-tool-for.html

Buddy was way ahead of his time.

wishiwasmerckx said...

The subject-verb agreement issue belongs to Cycling News, not BSNYC, but you cannot say "Garmin are...," you must say "Garmin is..."

3G said...

This is news to me!

Mike in Dallas said...

Uh, the guys at Delft Uni figured it out...

http://home.tudelft.nl/fileadmin/UD/MenC/Support/Internet/TU_Website/TU_Delft_portal/Actueel/Magazines/Delft_Integraal/archief/2007/2007-3/Achtergrond/doc/DO-07-3-2bicycles.pdf

Grammer Nazi said...

This are news to me, too.

crosspalms said...

wiwm,
It's those Brits. The Queen's English are funny that way.

babble on said...

Cervelotards... heh heh... you dog, you.

d2 said...

I don't know how my bike stays upright or how much I suck when I'm riding. Wow! I really don't know how much I don't know.

Anonymous said...

Flyover bike commuter said...
"A bike stays upright because the rider keeps it that way...
not counting try-athletes."

The study refers to pushing a bike withuout a rider. It will roll pretty far before it falls over.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

I often ponder the questions of the universe while I ride my recumbent bike. It usually goes something like this:

Interesting how galaxies spin like big bicycle wheels of the cosmos...I'm thirsty....If I could ride my recumbent salmon-wise in a particle accelerator super fast I could probably split atoms with my chain ring if I got right in the stream.....Man, this recumbent bike is really comfortable.....Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

leroy said...

"The crows were calling his name, thought Caw."

-- Jack Handy


Uh oh. My captcha: "16 elvisur."

Now I'm scared. Elvis died on August 16. (I mean allegedly died. My dog claims he saw Elvis at a KFC last week.)

If anyone wants me, I'll be hiding under my bed until the 17th. Ride safe all. Yeesh, ominous raven sightings, intimations of Elvis identity -- what next?

Mr Plow said...

"Very few researchers are working full-time on bicycle dynamics and there’s very little money in it" - quoth the raven.

Anonymous said...

The history of knuckle tats goes way back. They were first popularized by the 1955 movie 'The Night of the Hunter.' In the movie, Robert Mitchum plays a sociopath preacher with the words 'love' and 'hate' tattooed on his knuckles. Many criminals associated with the character and also got love and hate tattoos on their hands. There are lots of other variants now, like 'Rock/Roll' or 'Stay/Down'. Knuckle tattoos are even sported by many people these days who are not convicts or criminals. These people are probably unemployed.

Anonymous said...

Insane Fred Posse

Anonymous said...

Don't know what keeps a bike upright? What morons. It obviously isn't gyroscopic effect. If that were true you couldn't ride slow, or on a unicycle. Any clown can tell you balance keeps you upright. And, amazing as it may be, the same magic force works for standing, walking, or running.

Ugh.

Cuckoo for Coconuts said...

Crow? Raven? Could be an African swallow. Definitely not a European one.

Doenter 8 - Uh, not going there. Let's just say entry level groupo

P. Bateman said...

Quoth the Raven - BSNYC used to be so funny but nevermore.

insert link to just kidding boat.

you still got snoober.

i do like that i always learn something totally un-bikeen related from your bloggering. i didn't need to differentiate crows from ravens, but now i feel pretty well equipped to do so. and knowing is half the battle.

CommieCanuck said...

Bicycles work through a combination of sorcery and Baby Jesus. That's why there are no Jewish TDF winners.

P. Bateman said...

whoops, i meant you still have IT snobs.

as in, you are still funny.

funny is the IT that IT refers to it in this context.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

i got notin' t'say... so i aint gonna...

babble on said...

Absolute sucking sucks absolutely.

ge said...

If Yoda told you, it must be true Leroy, er I mean Elvis.

CommieCanuck said...

Yeesh, ominous raven sightings, intimations of Elvis identity -- what next?

Those are two horsemen of the alpacalips. The end is neigh. the third horseman is people using the word, "neigh". The fourth horseman is O'bama rekindling the cold war and gays no longer drinking vodka screwdrivers.

Anonymous said...

After reading one of my daughter's "young adult" books, I realized that you are probably not a human being. You are the genie/djinni/whatever "Bartimaeus." I'm glad you're still around.

Fred Nifacent said...

Crow vs. Raven - the Crow is for martial arts movies and the raven is for books. Very simple to tell apart, one is pictures on your ipad, the other is words on your ipad...though i'm not sure how they lift you off the ground...

asphor 22c...if you live in 22C, good for you!

B(oYo)BIES! said...

Bikesnob is DEPENDENT on crazy bike people to come up with funny outfits and bikesetups. His commentary is humorous, but the true talent is the mind that sprung the aero-crow healment and aero bars on a cross bike.

BSNYC best posts ever are all "HEY! Look at this stupid bike"

Roille Figners said...

HEY SNOB DID YOU KNOW BRET IS IN THE WORKCYCLES AD ON YOUR VERY OWN BLOG?

Roille Figners said...

HEY SNOB GUESS WHAT.

Roille Figners said...

BRET, REMEMBER HIM? HE'S ON YOUR OWN BLOG! IT'S TOO BAD YOU'RE NOT IN ON THE JOKE OR SOMETHING!

Big Looser said...

I mean to imply I'm no better and I also make mistakes (typos) by using that Big Looser moniker. I also make grammar errors, but I have low-level skills regarding proper grammar.
Spelling I can do fairly well.

Wildcat Rock Machine often actually corrects typos when alerted to them, perhaps because he's got an editorial bent and he's picky.

At least I think he's picky.
He sure seems picky.
And in response I like to pick on him.
Pick! Pick! Pick!

Why? Because I like his writing and his sense of humor and it deserves to have the schmutz cleared away.
Mostly I'm obsessive-compulsive.

I don't think it matters to him if I continue or not, that's up to him. I could send my findings to his Yahoo! account, but that would just clog his inbox.


I have no life, so I gotta do what I gotta do.
I am indeed a big looser.

Looser Pride! Whoo!

RTMS/WRM, should I stop completely or send corrections to your Yahoo! address or just carry on? It's not like I live or die on this stuff, I am incapable of a comment-podium, so I like to typo-podium instead. I'll also not be the top scranus and while I REALLY like scranus (and Top *insert-numeral-here*!), I think I can contribute the same or greater value in the comments by pointing out typos.

I think he knows this means something to several readers because he almost always leaves something to find.

And BikeSnob, feel free to utterly ignore this comment, you have better things to do, like fill the trough with Froot Loops and milk to give your 17 children their evening feed. Or something.

Anyone still here?
Aren't short typo notices better (easier to ignore) than this crap?

Oh, to answer your question, my helment is looser.

Mr Plow said...

B(oyo)bies
I've got to disagree. the further snob strays from bicycles the more I like it. He is a great complainer, why limit it?
COMP LAIN

ChamoisJuice said...

The people who give a crap about typos on a blog post designed to kill time while pooping or working ARE THE VERY SAME people who care about wearing tight shorts and shaving legs to ride a pedal bike.

Carry on.

CommieCanuck said...

THE JOKE INVOLVES THE KEYBOARD STUCK ON CAPS LOCK.

CommieCanuck said...

HILARIOUS

etherhuffer said...

Why all the raven about crows?

Big Looser said...

Yes, CJ!

ge said...

I DON'T GET IT

ushalt 6 - ooh, sounds serious, worse than being elvis

Blog Drafter said...

"Wheatfield with Crows" is the most awesome painting ever. Worth a trip to Amsterdam just to see it. I was blown away, that guy was seriously whacked but he could sure paint crows in a wheat field.

Bret said...

What is this place? And how did I get here? And what am I supposed to be selling? I can tell you why bikes work, though: phlogiston (they were wrong about the bursting into flames part).

crosspalms said...

Is a CAPS LOCK more secure than a Kryponite?

crosspalms said...

have some more "t" crosspalms

BamaPhred said...

Elvis is alive and selling self portraits of himself. They are done on black velvet, usually in paint that lights up under uv lighting. Usually works as a roadside vendor between here and Memphis.

Anonymous said...

CC @ 4:06

THAT'S A FUNNY JOKE!!!!!!!!

I GET IT!!!!!!!!!

McFly said...

Kill time while pooping? Pooping is one of the great joys the Good Lob gave us thats free of charge.
1)You get to take your pants off(this is optional but highly recommended)
2)it just feels good(maybe I am gay)
3)you have a sense of accomplishment no matter you day has went up to this point)
4)you leave there feeling like you deserve to eat again
5)ingredients on shampoo bottles become very very interesting

Jimboner said...

Crow Raven needs a "Shit Bird" kit from Evil Cycling to compliment his look.

Anonymous said...

McFly:

I find pooping to be a wonderful dog attack strategy. It confuses the heck out of them.

Anonymous said...

MONK WANK

Anonymous said...

Grand news, Snobby! Following a careful examination of this sentence; "The Garmin Vector system will retail for $1,699 in the US and Australia and £1,349 in the UK", I've worked out that you could save yourself some money by buying those pedals while you're in Australia because of the current exchange rate.

You could even take orders from American Freds also eager to buy the pedals selling to them cheaper than $1,699 but charging them more than you pay for the pedals -- you pocket the difference!

Yours is a truly bless'd life, Snobby.

Nebraska Bike Commuter (non DWI edition) said...

@ McFly:

Once I had to go into work to do some maintenance stuff that had to be done on a holiday. Holiday overtime is double time on top of regular time holiday pay. Plus, it was considered a maintenance callback which means three hours minimum pay; for about 45 minutes of work. I had to poop, and it was the best poop EVAH!

Anonymous said...

CJ, DIAF.

McFly said...

That's a pricy poop my man. I wonder what it broke down to as far as $ per inch. I am hourly but told the general manager hiring in I would need access to the salary facility with the nice magazines and Fort Knox lockdown. I hired in as a tool and die maker which they desperately needed so he said hey whatever you got to do weirdo. Some press operators started trying to get on my program and they shut them down and run them out of there.

I love a good poop story.

McFly said...

OMG. Just as I posted that comment my 9 yr old daughter busts in the door exclaiming "Daddy I have to go poop have you seen my iPod? HAVE YOU SEEN IT?"

Jed said...

Is there any poop sweeter than a poop 'on the clock?'. I submit, there is not.

DONT PUSH
SLOW DOWN
EASY CASH

Jed said...

KNOW WIFI
KNOW POOP
DONT FUBL

Roille Figners said...

THE JOKE DOES NOT PRIMARILY RELY ON THE CAPS LOCK. THAT IS JUST SO I WON'T CATCH SHIT FOR BEING ONE OF THE IDIOTS WHO ACTUALLY THINKS THEY NEED TO POINT OUT THAT BRET IS IN THE WORKCYCLES AD. LOOKS LIKE THAT DIDN'T WORK.

ANYWAY AT THIS POINT I'M MAINLY DOING IT TO BOTHER YOU. SORRY TO BEGRIME YOUR VIRGIN LITTLE EYES WITH SUCH BIG LETTERS.

Comment deleted said...

C.

Fred Zepellin said...

Podium

Daniel said...

On my lunch ride today riding my plastic fredcycle, I made the mistake to shortcut a corner and ride a gravel path. Although I didn't die, I was distressed by the gravel residue colorway that was left on the green stripe of my Vittoria Open Corsa Evo CX tyre. Then I got a flat. No joke.

looks like I need a gravel bike.

Comment deleted said...

HEY ROILLE, WHY ARE WE SHOUTING!?

SUCKS ABOUT GEORGE DUKE, HUH?

Dr Christopher J Smith said...

"What does? We simply don’t know."

Well, Dude, we just don't know.

Anonymous said...

http://www.komonews.com/news/local/Driver-pleads-guilty-in-deadly-2011-collision-with-bicyclist-218730121.html

Grump said...

I wonder how those "eight piezoresistive strain gauges" will like a few pedal strikes, or a full blown pack crash??
.

Blog Drafter said...

I only poop at work. Why waste time doing that off the clock?

HUH?

CPS LK
BG CRP
HV FN

Anonymous said...

Forget gravel bikes -- I propose a porn bike. Add some attachment points for a few dildos and Fleshlights. That's how bikes stay up!!!

Mario's Albino Tadpole said...

You have not truly pooped until you have pooped on a Japanese toilet.. Toilet in my office and house have a built in, remotely controlled squirty device that sends a warm stream of water right up your canal.. If you drop your inhibitions you can give yourself a nice colon wash right there.. Oh, and it's got something for the ladies as well... Nozzel extends a bit further, points more uppish and squirts the gals right in the koochy..

That ladies and gentelmen, is how you can experience toilet narvana..

Unknown said...

I sent you a picture of the road disc black aero helmet guy last week before he had mounted the baby crow. I don't like the crow up there. He should just ride around with his visor down like the rest of us.

babble on said...

Yep. The Japanese definitely perfected the perfect pooper.

Patrick Barry said...

Some one needs to do a robin helmet to race the Crow :)

lalaland said...

I can't believe you linked out to an article stating it doesn't know how a bicycle works without mentioning the fact that the research is being done by the University of Mons.

Says so right in the article, and what could be more appropriate, really?

Anonymous said...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-23587916

Anonymous said...

@ Mario's Albino Tadpole 10:16pm,

It's called a bidet, and it's been around for quite a while.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bidet

You must be American.

McFly said...

So is the Raven Healment ironic or does he expect to feast in the Halls of Valhalla with virgins and grog at his disposal when he dies a valiant warrior's death atop his biekcycle?

I cannot wait for season 2 of Vikings. Ragnar Lothbrooks wifey is so freakin hot. AND she is a shield maden. Whatever that is. Maybe she carries it around so she can fellate you in public without being obscene.

ChamoisJuice said...

Anon 10:28

You don't know what the fuck you are talking about. You poop in a toilet. Then you move to the bidet to wash up.

The Japanese washlet is an all in one machine.
plus:
-motion detector auto matic seat lift
-heated seat

One day, I will own a Toto Washlet AND an urinal. A man can dream.

wishiwasmerckx said...

I have a new favorite place on the entire planet. How is it that before this moment, I have never heard of the University of Mons?

I want to go there and major in pedantic pudenda.

Is it resume fraud if I switch my degree from my very respectable midwestern state university to the University of Mons?

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babble on said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
babble on said...

mmmm U of M.

pudendum is a fabulous word. Gotta roll, peeps.... ttyl! xo

Anonymous said...

You rock! Make me smile when everyone around me think I'm odd. They're not cyclists. They would never get It anyway even if I would be blue in the face trying to explain it to them. Minus two degrees Celsius here and still riding cause of you. Thank you