Tuesday, September 30, 2008

I Am Highly Specialized: The Right Tool For the Right Job

In the comments to yesterday's post, someone posted a link to the following bicycle:

This is easily one of the most fascinating bikes I've ever seen. Some bicycles make you want to ride them to pieces, others make you want to own them and protect them from harm and scratches, and still others make you want to puke. This one makes me want to puke, sure, but in the way a huge buffet does and not in the way a piece of maggoty roadkill or Larry King does. And like a huge buffet, every time I look at this bicycle I notice something new, and that something doesn't go with anything else on the bike. If you've ever gone to a wedding or something, hit the buffet, and wound up with a heaping and contradictory plate of fried rice, mashed potatoes, a goat cheese omelet from the omelet station, some baked ziti, sweet and sour chicken, French toast, a couple of meatballs, a Caesar salad, and a bowl of Frosted Rice Krispies in chocolate milk for good measure because each item looked good individually but you didn't consider whether any of it would go together, then you know what I'm talking about.

At the same time, this bicycle also evokes one of those performances when a bunch of rock stars of varying ages and degrees of bloat and irrelevance all take the stage to benefit some kind of charity. This bike has everything from the high-tech time trial bar and saddle of today to the bonded frame, 700c road suspension fork, and bladed Spinergy death wheel of yesteryear. It's like Chris Cornell, Dave Navarro, Pete Townshend, Paul McCartney, Korn, a few guys from Dire Straits, and, for no good reason at all, the London Symphony Orchestra all belting out a cover of "Rockin' in the Free World" on some VH1 special to benefit ADD research or something. (And in a case like that, the performance is arguably more harmful than the affliction.)

Most profound, though, is the appearance of both a Spinergy Rev-X and an Aerospoke on the same bicycle.  Notice how similar yet how different they are from each-other in their freakishness.  In a strange way it's like spotting Stephen Baldwin and Frank Stallone waiting on line together to see the Bacon Brothers play.

And of course the whole thing leans on a kickstand:



This bike is what's beautiful about cycling--it is a unique tool assembled to fulfill a unique need.  Personally, I can't imagine a situation that would call for aerodynamics, front suspension, a rear rack, and a triple chainring, but apparently this person finds himself needing to rush places in record time over irregular surfaces while carrying small loads often enough to have built this bicycle.  And apparently there's also a pretty big climb somewhere along the way.  It's also difficult to imagine what you might wear on a bicycle like this--I'm thinking a skinsuit with a pair of cargo shorts, and I'm also guessing there's a beard and a helmet mirror involved.  This bicycle also appeals to me because I happen to have a soft spot for mix-matched brakes.  I find using the same style of brake from the same manufacturer front and rear to be boring, and I'm always touched when two completely different brakes come together in a team effort to bring a rider to a stop.  With the cantilever front and the dual-pivot rear, this bicycle has the road bike equivalent of a mullet, and I like that.

Clearly, this bicycle is meant to do everything, and it does so with extreme ugliness.  It also bucks the current trend towards specialization in the bicycle industry.  We've actually reached a point now where categories are so nuanced that the crappy bike with the hi-ten frame is not only back, but it's also becoming a hotly-contested segment.  First, there was the SE Draft, which has been a staple in neighborhoods like Williamsburg, Brooklyn for the last year or so now:


The SE Draft comes complete with an American bottom bracket, which is to bottom brackets what American cheese is to cheese.  Hey, I don't begrudge anybody their cheap transit, and the supply of Old Crappy Ten Speeds ripe for singlespeed conversion is not going to last forever.  (Moeover the prices for them are still artificially inflated.)  If you need something cheap to pedal around town and lock to poles the SE Draft seems like it fits the bill quite nicely.

Of course, it was only a matter of time before the people at Dorel Industries realized that they own Schwinn (the OG of Old Crappy Ten Speed makers), and that if people are not only turning Old Crappy Ten Speeds into New Crappy One-Speeds but are also paying good money for Pre-Fabricated New Crappy One-Speeds, then they might as well make their own PFNCOS to complete with the Draft.   And so the Cutter was born:

Not only does the Cutter appear to have a threaded bottom bracket shell, but it also comes with a "sticker kit," and it only costs a little more than the Draft.  Again, having two inexpensive urban runabouts to choose from is not at all a bad thing, and it's especially good news for anybody sitting on a supply of 1 1/8" threaded headsets and stems, because that's what the Cutter comes with for some reason and those are about as easy to find as 1" threaded suspension forks.  Most significantly, though, should Dorel decide to sell this bike at Wal-Mart, the cultural ramifications are obvious. I have no idea if that's part of the plan, but if it is you can also expect to see MASH posters next to the Miley Cyrus posters very soon.

There's no doubt that the Cutter is a bit cookie-cutter, especially when you compare it to that Trek.  But no big corporation would ever create something like that.  It takes an individual to create a true monstrosity.

155 comments:

Anonymous said...

Every day I come by your blog and I pick you up. And we go out. We have a few posts, and a few laughs, and it's great. But you know what the best part of my day is? For about ten seconds, from when I pull up to the page and when I hit refresh the 17th time, 'cause I think, maybe I'll get up there and I'll knock on the door and a new post won't be there. No goodbye. No see you later. No nothing. You just left. I don't know much, but I know that.

Anonymous said...

woo ha

ant1 said...

ant1st!

Eudocimus albus said...

YABAI!!!!

Anonymous said...

HA HA!!

Admiral Crunch said...

Top ten!

LoupGarou said...

Dang...almost podiumed. Just like my racing. LMAO

Anonymous said...

thbbbbblt!

Anonymous said...

NYSE!

Anonymous said...

I'm riding in Delaware today, nothing Specialized.

rageahol said...

did i at least finish ahead of lance?

mander said...

That first bike... what a phenomenal find. It makes me feel like there is still some magic and wonder in this world. I'm praying that it isn't an ironic build.

Anonymous said...

Was that bike at ACL? Just another addition to my Reasons ACL is Stupid list.

Anonymous said...

anonymous first place -

sorta funny. would have been better if you hadn't had to cut-and-paste to make it first

someone please send bike snob some pictures from interbike 2008 to review

Jeff said...

That Trek is obviously from the future. You can tell because the picture was taken on a hot day in a park, presumably Central Park when the leaves on the trees were still green. Since it is not currently hot in Central Park and the leaves on the trees are no longer a uniform green, this picture was obviously taken at some future point when it will be hot out and the leaves will be green and sent through time into your e-mail in-bin.

No doubt the triple-ring, aerospoked, bullhorn bike (complete with rear rack) will be 2012's version of the current fixie-fad.

nars said...

is that a adjustable stem? i guess that's for adjusting the downforce generated by those awesome time trial handlebars! awesome bike.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Snobbie, posting on Rosh Hashanah? Questionable. Nontheless, may you and yours be inscribed in the Book of Life for a healthy and prosperous new year.

JIM N said...

i was nervous when i first saw this bike, but when i saw it in the Meadow i was terrified. i can't wait to encounter its diminutive (note the seat height) and doubtless insane pilot coming at me (for he definitely rides the wrong way) during my CP laps some unhappy evening.

mr.complaint said...

This is an interesting solution to the seat nose down/lean on your wrists and elbows problem! Front suspension. Boing Boing Boing. Just like joint cartilage.

What's truly amazing is the guy got this bike from Central Park all the way to Hoboken to complete his "Current Classic" fashion spread.

I feel like a bobblehead doll.

Frank Schleck said...

"This bicycle has the road bike equivalent of a mullet, and I like that.

I like that too...

AH said...

That Trek:

Oh.

My.

God.

Mark said...

Hey, there is good money in converting OCTS to SS/Fixed gear bikes. Did a Bianchi, not a pista, for a cool $4 hundy.

AH said...

a heaping and contradictory plate of fried rice, mashed potatoes, a goat cheese omelet from the omelet station, some baked ziti, sweet and sour chicken, French toast, a couple of meatballs, a Caesar salad, and a bowl of Frosted Rice Krispies in chocolate milk

That sounds like 2/3s of the meals I eat nowadays.

mary poppins said...

that trek is a work of art

kale said...

299$?$
SOLD, I'll take it. Now Hipster NASCAR isn't just for hipsters anymore.

Kind Of A Big Deal said...

"like spotting Stephen Baldwin and Frank Stallone waiting on line together to see the Bacon Brothers play"

Hilarious!

JIM N said...

holy shit: full dura ace.

holy shit: one, carbon, bottle cage, on the seat tube

holy shit: adjustable stem



i never should have clicked on the picture.

Anonymous said...

Hey, if you think that Trek is a monstrosity, check out this abomination:

Softie Mongoose 69er

Anonymous said...

I didn't know they made a 3mm suspension fork! A little cushion for the pushin'

Emperor Klaktu said...

"Grips: Schwinn Approved single density Kraton rubber "

Schwinn Approved components mean quality. Kraton means Scientology.

Kind Of A Big Deal said...

"Every day I come by your blog and I pick you up. And we go out. We have a few posts, and a few laughs, and it's great. But you know what the best part of my day is? For about ten seconds, from when I pull up to the page and when I hit refresh the 17th time, 'cause I think, maybe I'll get up there and I'll knock on the door and a new post won't be there. No goodbye. No see you later. No nothing. You just left. I don't know much, but I know that."

Dude, you have to lighten up

wishiwasmerckx said...

I can sum up the problem with our Trek. Subconsciously, the human mind equates symmetry with beauty. Many components normally come in matching pairs, i.e. brakes, wheelsets, etc. Everything on this bike is mish-mash. I even looked to see if there was a Look pedal on one crankarm and a Speedplay on the other.
Also, I'm not sure how you stop the thing, even if it had matching brakes. The levers are in a position requiring a motion the human wrist physically is not capable of. I suggest that instead, he mount the brake levers directly on his thighs, and just disconnect the cables when he dismounts.

Anonymous said...

So, were those meatballs Swedish or Italian? Inquiring minds would like to know.

Andrea Wasik said...

I don't think I have ever laughed so hard when reading anything.

kale said...

The weight savings by that crabon fibre bottle holder is made up in excess cable length. Good thing there's no spokes for the 8" of derailleur tag to get caught in.

Anonymous said...

Judging from the size of the head tube, would this be about a 58+cm bike with the seat smashed as far down as it can go???

LW said...

It is the Edward Scissorhands of the bicycle world. Strange, monstrous, but oddly beautiful in its utility.

Toxteth O'Grady said...

BSNYC - did you notice that the right brake lever stops the front wheel?...

Di said...

"Personally, I can't imagine a situation that would call for aerodynamics, front suspension, a rear rack, and a triple chainring, but apparently this person finds himself needing to rush places in record time over irregular surfaces while carrying small loads often enough to have built this bicycle. And apparently there's also a pretty big climb somewhere along the way."

I totally know that situation!! It's called "my commute to Michigan Tech." On a good day, some singletrack or other off-road is involved. A 2-mile, 570-ft elevation climb is involved. The descent going through Hancock and buzzing by traffic at 35-40 mph is lots of fun, and it helps to go aero.

It's just crazy. I think THAT bike might just be made for *here*! ESPECIALLY if the fork has lockout. I just ride a cyclocross bike and wear a backpack for commuting.

Lucky 7 said...

"It's also difficult to imagine what you might wear on a bicycle like this--I'm thinking a skinsuit with a pair of cargo shorts, and I'm also guessing there's a beard and a helmet mirror involved."

And a watch, and a heart rate monitor, and a blackberry, and a trio, and a walkman, and a discman, and an ipod, and burkenstocks with socks, and sock suspenders, and pant suspenders for the cargo shorts, and a belt, and a sweater or insulating layer in case it gets chilly, and a wool jersey over the tech base layer, and a kerchief, and glacier glasses, and a Bell helmet, and full rain gear on the rack, and a sandwich for later, and an apple for after the sandwich . . .


A

bikesgonewild said...

...wow...fascinating...sometimes you just have to stare at the accident scene even though you know it's wrong...& here, the gore & dismemberment is quite appealing...

...a true renaissance bicycle: a bike for all seasons, as it were...& to make that literal, he probably has some cross tires back at the flat, for those snowy months...

...the last foto at the link site has the bike parked w/ the east river & the united nations building as a backdrop...

...intentional or not, the irony is palpable...

Toxteth said...

...Or that the rear derailer cable end is left so long that it looks like the curb finder on my uncles Lincoln?

ken said...

and i thought my 70's apollo with the 80's brake hoods was a mismatched horror. that bike totally rules!

BikeSnobNYC said...

Toxteth,

Sweet! Must be for cyclocross-style dismounts. It just keeps getting better.

--RTMS

leroy said...

What, no pie plate on that Trek?

That's like forgetting to put a plastic slip cover on the Danish Modern sofa in an Art Deco living room.

Now excuse me. I have to go to Times Square, get rowdy and wait for the crystal illuminated matzo ball to drop to signal the New Year.

Look for me on TV. I'll be the guy with the skin suit over his chicken costume.

Andrew said...

One more, for the real trainspotters: triple crank with a short cage rear derailleur. I'll bet this thing drops chains like RTMS drops names.

wishiwasmerckx said...

The worst part? You have to use tape to attach the RTMS "approve" spoke card.

Anonymous said...

Every time I look at that POS, I notice something new. He drilled the brake levers for extra weight savings.

kale said...

Quote from Edward Scissorhands:
"The years spent in isolation have not equipped him with the tools necessary to judge right from wrong. He's had no context. He's been completely without guidance. Furthermore, his work - the garden sculptures, hairstyles and so forth - indicate that he's a highly imaginative... uh... character. It seems clear that his awareness of what we call reality is radically underdeveloped."

I think it applies: "The Edward Scissorhands Bike"

Plus it's black.

bikesgonewild said...

...that machine invites the closest of inspections, so i'm surprised you didn't notice that front brake set-up sooner, bsnyc/rtms...

...whip down the block, lock up the rear & yer half off the bike while ya slide to a stop in front of the corner bodega...yer esa's & the local chica's are trippin' on ya, bro'...

...tha's some cool shit, man...

wishiwerepithy said...

Gosh

Wow

Transcendent

Dmitri Fofonov said...

Mister Borscht-for-brains,
Trek bike makes perfect good sense for my country. Aerobars for speed. Suspension to smooth out bumpy Kazakhi roads. Rack for to hold bottle of vodka. Your attitude no good. May women of our country stuff their shaved armpit hair up your nose.

Brian said...

Snob, Working on the Jewish New Year? Guess you ain't orthodox, huh?

leroy said...

Can it be full Dura Ace if the front brake isn't?

Questions, questions, questions.

Commiecanuk said...

Ya gotta love the ex-tech Trek, all it really needs is Biopace chainrings, and it was likely designed on a Radio Shack TRS-80. Kinda like a rolling museum of epic failure, no doubt nicknamed the "Vista". Large Pantani-style 1993 sunglasses are a must. I'm sending this to my friends via my Palm Pilot.

Commiecanuk said...

Dmitri Fofonov said...
May women of our country stuff their shaved armpit hair up your nose.


Ooo...for free?

Very Metal said...

Toxteth aren't you famous for having the worlds stickiest bogey? And also the world record for sticking marshmellows up your nose?

Jim said...

I can sum up the problem with our Trek. Subconsciously, the human mind equates symmetry with beauty.

Couldn't disagree more. 3 steps and 5 look better than 4. 5 columns, not 4 or 6. 3/4/5 proportions in framing a building. Ever wonder why the architectural world isn't comprised of equilateral triangles and squares, but has a lot of rectangles and odd little shapes? It's because perfectly symmetrical things hurt the eyes. It's "brutalism."

It's true with nature too. Ever hold up a small miror so that it bisects a picture of a supermodel's face? You'll notice her face isn't exactly symmmetrical, and a perfectly symmetrical picture - which is what the mirror gives you - looks weird somehow.

That said, we seem to like things to be ever-so-slightly tweaked. There's nothing slightly assymetrical about that Trek; it's the equivalent of a swimsuit model with a B cup on one side, double D on the other. Just... wrong. So wrong.

If It's Not Funny Anymore... said...

http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=245331361&albumID=156098&imageID=12891079

this one is waaaayyyyyyyyy better.

R&D said...

Actually, I suspect that isn't a 700c fork. It doesn't look like there's enough clearance.

If he/she hits a big enough bump (or gets big air), the front tire will hit the crown, leading to an amusing Superman impression.

Anonymous said...

I wonder if his front wheel hits his downtube when the suspension compresses all the way? Looks like a recipe for premature ejection to me

Anonymous said...

dammit... there's always someone faster... I'll get you next time R&D

Admiral Crunch said...

I don't think you can accuse Snob of working on Rosh Hashana, as I doubt he is being paid for this, blogging does not fall under any of the 39 prohibited activities, and contemplating the mysteries of this wonderous bike should be considered a spiritual observance on a par with studying the Talmud.

Shana Tova.

forgottenpoet said...

The Trek is delicious.
"It takes an individual to create a true monstrosity." how true!

Anonymous said...

This Trek rates a triple top tube teabagging + 1 screaming BOOYAH!

libertyonbikes! said...

since everything is just a recycled
version of something past... are
pre carbon full 7005 aero frames the next 'it'? or am i missing it, and it's really 90's bmx cruisers, or late 80's neon klein mountain bikes? i'm lost.... but i've never been cool or remotely hip. just a dork on a bike.

snob- i posted your next red light ticket $$$$

Anonymous said...

Yes, snob is back to form.

Bonded alu-carbon frame
Waay too big- slammed seat
700c Ruby suspension fork
Aero timetrial bars
Canti f, dual pivot r
Straddle cable hanger is backwards
Brake levers
No bar tape
Adjustable stem
Spinergy
Aerospoke
Out of the blue modern Dura-ace triple cranks
Mountain bike cogset
Small-small crosschained
Tire label not lined up with valve stems
Cables way too long, no end caps
Rack
Computer
Runs valve caps

rzu said...

It's the Homer Car of bikes!

Anonymous said...

In his infinite wisdom, NJLSBSNYC has seen fit to grace us with a sign of the coming apocalypse in bicycle form. It's a Rosh Hashana miracle!

Gnarles Darwin said...

That seat rack on the TREK is to hold the FLUX CAPACITOR. That bike is a time traveler for sure. Interesting side note, it belongs to Crispin Glover.

Nice post Snob.

Anonymous said...

I saw a guy on my commute this morning riding a hardtail MTB, crappy suspension fork with the accordion style rubber boots on it, panniers, TT bars, and a rear disc wheel. I had never seen a disc wheel on a 26" bike before- guessing it was repurposed from a 650 type tri bike...

Commiecanuk said...

jim said...
There's nothing slightly assymetrical about that Trek; it's the equivalent of a swimsuit model with a B cup on one side, double D on the other. Just... wrong. So wrong.


I wouldn't have a big problem with the D/B cups unless one was in front and the other was on her back.

just sayin'

Lucky 7 said...

Fitting somehow that tomorrow is the first of October. All the ghouls are coming out early for Halloween. Jeez, anon 3:58, you must have thought you'd seen Frankenstein's Monster's Bike. Nice escape.


A

Critical Ass said...

1020 is the new 531.

crispy said...

I think the Trek is a brilliant bike. There are a lot of rough urban roads that I have to play "dodge the pothole" on when riding my road bike, so a suspended fork would work very well on an "urban assault" commuter - still fast, but with some front end compliance that would make it more controllable.

However, the TT setup and full D/A are a bit much. But I do like that front fork.... time to start looking for one I guess... :-D

innerlight said...

I think maybe the proverbial "Million Monkeys With Typewriters" finally turned out some Shakespeare and have gone on to other pursuits. I'm guessing that Vroomen-White has them working on the P-5 and this is just a warm up.

anon 3:58
you gotta go way back to Johnny T. running a Tioga disc.

Anonymous said...

Come on, this has got to be an ironic build - as noted earlier the only omission is the pie plate.

bikesgonewild said...

...hang onto yer hats, kiddies...

...frank schleck, fabian cancellara, stuey o'grady & yes, tour winner carlos sastre have all been accused of using 'cera', the same form of 'epo' that got ricci richardo (richardo ricco) tossed from the tour...

...personally, i'll wait 'til all the details are in, but i do recall a nice little post-tour interview where sastre expressed his indignation towards people like ricco & how riders like himself had been honest & worked hard throughout their careers to achieve results...

...something about family & integrity...

anon 2:11 said...

Snob,

The typos are making you look way too human.

Love,

The Internet

kale said...

FYI:

ROCK SHOX Paris-Roubaix.
"LeMond, LaSalle, Tchmill -- Winners, champions and legends. Racing and winning on the cobblestones of France in the Hell of the North using the RockShox Paris-Roubaix fork. Setting trends for comfort performance bikes in the future."

All you haters suck my elastomer balls

Self-appointed expert on the subject said...

gotta love the right hand front brake...soooo "old school".

innerlight said...

It appears the cross-chaining is due to no cable for the front der. I guess that'll shave some weight. Or maybe this is Lance's new multi-discipline training bike. Makes sense since he's gonna have to time trial and ride Leadville. The granny ring only must be to bring back his "suplesse" cadence, and the rack would be for his ego. It IS a Trek after all.

Anonymous said...

Despite the owner's claim, I don't think that's a Rock Shox Paris Roubaix because is has canti brake mounts rather than a road caliper mount. Looks like a garden-variety Mag 21, which would explain why a 700c wheel doesn't fit properly in it.

Anonymous said...

yeah, but the canti's line up properly with the rim. I think it is one of those old air-oil paris-roubaix forks. Maybe the seals are blown and he is riding it bottomed out. The headtube angle looks a bit steep

Anonymous said...

I don't feel that running front brake with the right lever is "wrong". That's the common setup for Brits, and lots of motorcycle riders prefer it as well. Personal preference.

Anonymous said...

All that thing needs is an Xtracycle FreeRadical kit to complete the insanity!

Chunk said...

I wonder what Volume thinks about Schwinn biting their style with the "Cutter" name?

http://tinyurl.com/3fdlqb

Anonymous said...

breaking away?

Anonymous said...

Volume is a pretty cool company. Their 26" bike is called the "Sledgehammer"

Brian Castillo owns the company. His part in Nowhere Fast is legendary. Stands up well for a 10 year old part. 2nd to last.
Nowhere fast

Anonymous said...

The cantis line up with the rim because he's got an adapter brake arch that raises the pivots a inch. Bottom line: the Paris Roubaix fork didn't have canti mounts.

Toxteth said...

Very Metal,

Yes indeed 604.

Still eyeing the record for the stupidest bottom burp (currently held by Rick (Britian))

Philip Williamson said...

"...standing on line..."
"...back to the flat."
"...world's stickiest Bogey."

Is it "Talk Like An Englishman Day?"

Anonymous said...

Schwinn, you realize, has provided the bikes for the Little 500 for the past couple of years. The Cutter no doubt alludes to the rich history of cheap fixies which have filled Bloomington, Indiana's streets since long before there was a fixed-gear scene. There may well be as many used Little 500 machines--some with flat bars--on the roads as there are grow houses in this Berkeley of the Midwest.

dlv said...

looks like the photo was taken in Central Park. Only in NYC could one ride a shit sled like that

Steve Peterson said...

check out the pedals - retro toe clip style pedals with no clips or straps.

Anonymous said...

apparently we don't think there's much wrong with the platform pedals?

Anonymous said...

Anonymous at First Place.... that's some nasty emotional baggage you're carrying. She must have been quite a woman to have scarred you like that.... you loser !

Anonymous said...

Most importantly about the "Cutter"... does it coast while having no brakes like the bike the Cutters Team races in the film???

That Trek though, that is BRILLIANT! It's a slap in the face to the component manufacturers who have tried to make all bike standards so incompatible with one another that soon getting a flat tire will mean you will have to buy new wheels. I love that fugly Trek with every last rebellious molecule that constitutes the bottom of my heart!

Anonymous said...

Dear Snob,
Reading today's post I felt you've got some accumulated hate towards "extraordinary" bikes.
So, that's why I was wondering whether you've ever expressed your thoughts about cat-cheetah bikes, type of bike I particularly hate.

So, where do you stand, hate or acceptance?


http://www.catbikes.ch/images/catbw.jpg


http://www.catbikes.ch/starte.htm

Anon 8:08 #1 said...

I don't understand the CAT Cheetah bikes... have they not SEEN a Cheetah? Shouldn't it be spotty? That's more of a CAT panther no?


Also I really hope my beloved Trek bike's rear derailleur is Campy. Just sayin' ....

Anonymous said...

We need bikesnob's enlightening analysis of cheetah bikes, otherwise we will never be able to sleep again!!!!

Anonymous said...

by the way, this seems to be one of the typical users of cheetah bikes

http://www.catbikes.ch/images/patrickrmann1.jpg

(http://www.catbikes.ch/images/patrickrmann1.jpg)

Patrick Rmann said...

I and Yavislav will no more tolerate you than a wet Easter!

Bruce Dickinson said...

Needs more cowbell.

And a B-73.

And a big Carradice on that saddle bag rack.

And a Sesame Street Honkers horn.

That would be perfect.

sprider said...

The podium anon was plagiarizing the lines from "Good Will Hunting", as Ben Affleck spoke them to Matt Damon. It was better in the movie.

You wouldn't catch me dead on that Trek abomination, there's no such thing as one bike for every situation.

tex said...

If you are not familiar with that web site, they you can be forgiven for not getting the joke. Somebody went to a lot of trouble for it, though.

I don't know my vintage Rock Shox well enough to figure out what that is on the front, but I do know that there was a version of the Ruby that took cantis. Can't leave the touring bikes out in the cold, or the 'cross crowd, either. They were advertised to have something like 30mm of travel, which since Rock Shox travel in them days was a lot like Reaganomics, was in reality somewhere around a half inch.

AnnaZed said...

Well, ok ~ in execution this bike is similar to a Bad Boy:
http://www.cannondale.com/bikes/09/cusa/model-8BS.html
700c wheels/suspension fork
Heck, I don’t understand why it doesn’t have disc brakes.
But the amazing energy and invention invested in that bike truly boggles the mind when one considers that in the first place it doesn’t even fit the rider (note seat height) is truly amazing when you also consider that if the rider who fits that seat height were to try to “assume the position” on the aero bars no way could he even reach those bar-end shifters.
Seriously, how does he ride that thing?
Weird.

Anonymous said...

NO BRAKES

http://midnightridazz.com/images/gallery/large/happybirthdayidiot%20026_1222750576.jpg

Anonymous said...

This is the Johnny Cash 'One Piece at a Time' bike. A true original.

bikewhorder said...

Thanks snob, my girlfreind and I just had a little tiff because I woke her up from laughing so hard. Your comments on the trek are amoung your best work to date, when you pointed out the kickstand I really lost it.

Doctor Evil said...

Hang on here, Mini Me and I spent alot of time on that bike project and we both agree it is some of our finest work yet. Perhaps our Mini Me inspired little car, the Mini, after him of course, is special. How else could he reach the clutch, beauty through necessity

Andy Pandy said...

Arh the joys of a bike project driven by cheap shit on ebay that no one wanted. Genius or demented I cannot tell which

Anonymous said...

That bike does not fit the individual. I hate seeing bikes where the seatpost is barely visible. Trying to pretend your bike frame isn't too big, sucka!

I've heard that 29ers are the next stage of hipsterism. So quickly jump ship. A fixed gear sold at Walmart? That's pretty damn funny if you ask me!

ken e. said...

here's a couple of late points.
anon #1 et 2:11, nice bike. snob and the crew, you rule.
i saw a pair of really nice road bike sho(x) and i was entranced. no luck...

Anonymous said...

if I remember the movie correctly, when racing the Little 500, the bikes had coaster brakes.

Anonymous said...

", and I'm also guessing there's a beard and a helmet mirror involved. "

Ouch! That's me. But at least that's not my bike!

Maybe I should get a recumbent to complete the ensemble.

Anonymous said...

Recently an insurance company nearly wind up....

A bank is nearly bankrupt......

How it affect you? Did you buy insurance? Did you buy mini note or bonds?

Who fault?

They only talk about how bad the crisis will be, but they did not give regulation measures…..

Although not approved initially when thinking of using tax payer money, $700B is used to save finance industry only, how about the industry that you are in.....retail industry, construction industry, manufacturing industry, R&D, electronics, electrical, mechanical, chemical, IT etc.... each industry will be able to enjoy at least $10B.......Which will make every industry vibrant…..

They say without using tax payer money, they will not be able to lend to small companies…..

Bank primary role is to lend money….else what sort of business will let them earn….?

Many companies had been merged and consolidated, and they are stronger now, so don’t bail out, they will consolidated…..

Many ways of raising their own funds eg preference shares, sovereignty fund etc.


The top management of the Public listed company ( belong to "public" ) salary should be tied a portion of it to the shares price ( IPO or ave 5 years ).... so when the shares price drop, it don't just penalise the investors, but those who don't take care of the company.....If this rule is pass on, without any need of further regulation, all industries ( as long as it is public listed ) will be self regulated......

We must push for it for our next generations......


Sign a petition to your favourite president candidate, congress member again and ask for their views to comment on this, and what regulations they are going to raise for implementation.....If you agree on my point, please share with many people as possible....

Media and finance sector are the only two sectors ( hopefully Hacker can also ) which can overcome political incorrect power, so it is time to fine tune to the correct path, so hopefully media can united to report the truth...... ( because after this incident, they will still required media in future )

Anonymous said...

最近保险公司和银行,将近倒闭。。。。

是谁的错。。。。? 不在这个时候扶正回来,难道要等到下几代在遇到同样的事吗?

高级管理层该不该付起责任?

上市公司的高级管理层工资是不是应该和上市公司的股票价值挂钩呢?

龙的传人应该没这么好骗吧!。。。。先学基本面分析法,才来学技术性分析法。。。。

如果认为有理的话,请支持与告知,让更多人戒乱玩股票,力量才会大。。。。。。还有拨个电回家报平安吧。


http://remindmyselfinstock.blogspot.com/

Cool The Kid said...

That bike is just a ticking time bomb, with that front Spinergy waiting to explode into a mushroom cloud of pure AWESOMENESS & ORIGINALITY

Petre said...

no speed suit worn on this day, but he did let us see how he normally rides them bars:
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3294/2701704387_5eefde59e5_b.jpg

Anonymous said...

The bailout (sorry rescuing dolphins with AIDS) bill includes a tax deduction for bike commuters. 1 SEC. 211. TRANSPORTATION FRINGE BENEFIT TO BICYCLE
2 COMMUTERS.
3 (a) IN GENERAL.—Paragraph (1) of section 132(f)
4 is amended by adding at the end the following:
5 ‘‘(D) Any qualified bicycle commuting re6
imbursement.’’.
7 (b) LIMITATION ON EXCLUSION.—Paragraph (2) of
8 section 132(f) is amended by striking ‘‘and’’ at the end
9 of subparagraph (A), by striking the period at the end
10 of subparagraph (B) and inserting ‘‘, and’’, and by adding
11 at the end the following new subparagraph:
12 ‘‘(C) the applicable annual limitation in
13 the case of any qualified bicycle commuting re14
imbursement.’’.
15 (c) DEFINITIONS.—Paragraph (5) of section 132(f)
16 is amended by adding at the end the following:
17 ‘‘(F) DEFINITIONS RELATED TO BICYCLE
18 COMMUTING REIMBURSEMENT.—
19 ‘‘(i) QUALIFIED BICYCLE COMMUTING
20 REIMBURSEMENT.—The term ‘qualified bi21
cycle commuting reimbursement’ means,
22 with respect to any calendar year, any em23
ployer reimbursement during the 15-month
24 period beginning with the first day of such
25 calendar year for reasonable expenses in26
curred by the employee during such cal206
O:\AYO\AYO08C32.xml S.L.C.
1 endar year for the purchase of a bicycle
2 and bicycle improvements, repair, and stor3
age, if such bicycle is regularly used for
4 travel between the employee’s residence
5 and place of employment.
6 ‘‘(ii) APPLICABLE ANNUAL LIMITA7
TION.—The term ‘applicable annual limita8
tion’ means, with respect to any employee
9 for any calendar year, the product of $20
10 multiplied by the number of qualified bicy11
cle commuting months during such year.
12 ‘‘(iii) QUALIFIED BICYCLE COM13
MUTING MONTH.—The term ‘qualified bi14
cycle commuting month’ means, with re15
spect to any employee, any month during
16 which such employee—
17 ‘‘(I) regularly uses the bicycle for
18 a substantial portion of the travel be19
tween the employee’s residence and
20 place of employment, and
21 ‘‘(II) does not receive any benefit
22 described in subparagraph (A), (B),
23 or (C) of paragraph (1).’’.
24 (d) CONSTRUCTIVE RECEIPT OF BENEFIT.—Para25
graph (4) of section 132(f) is amended by inserting
207
O:\AYO\AYO08C32.xml S.L.C.
1 ‘‘(other than a qualified bicycle commuting reimburse2
ment)’’ after ‘‘qualified transportation fringe’’.
3 (e) EFFECTIVE DATE.—The amendments made by
4 this section shall apply to taxable years beginning after
5 December 31, 2008.

kale said...

petre-

Ouch.

Warning for anyone wanting to buy a bike off the internet. That's at least 6cm too big.

All you haters suck my balls once they recede from my hernia I got from riding all the way to Montauk from Hoboken.

Ronsonic said...

Iconic Not Ironic!

The Trek 2100 is completely not ironic. If it were ironic it would have a top tube pad.

Anonymous said...

http://www.fixedgeargallery.com/2008/sept/3/SethHigbee.htm

You might find the description interesting....

"This is my modified Schwinn World Tourist. It is my second fixed gear. The bike started life as a three speed, but then I shortened the chain stays, raised the bottom bracket, shortened the head tube, extended the top tube, flipped the dropouts, removed the brake bridge (you don't need brakes on a fixie anyway), and upgraded to a threadless headset. "

The bike looks nice afterward, but required some serious plastic surgery.

Anonymous said...

I would have prefered the Schwinn World Tourist.

justin p. said...

Dear Lawyers, thanks for being Jewish and not working on Rashashana. The messengers are enjoying the 2-day break you have given us all.

justin p. said...

"A ZIPP carbon water cage compliments the EASTON 'Delta Force' carbon bullbar." When you think of all the other nonsense on this bike, and then he throws this zinger in there. no, no, not going to bother with aero brake levers or anything of that sort; but what i will do is spend $100 on a ZIPP carbon water cage, and $350 on EASTON TT bars. WHAT A CHARLIE FOXTROT if I've ever seen one. It's as if this bike was made just for BSNYC's viewing pleasure alone

The lawyers said...

Justin P., you're welcome.

Tod said...

There are many funny things in this world and I was surprised to learn that all of them can be found on this bike and the flotsam of comments surrounding it. . . you are all to be congratulated as I am not sure I will ever be right again after seeing this page. That is a terribly, terribly tough act to follow. . . indeed, an Escher sketch within one bicycle.

Anonymous said...

The trek is extremely awesome.

Anonymous said...

The mullet bike has reversed brake levers, rear on the left, front on the right...the endo is the new mullet.

Anonymous said...

Maverick.

forgottenpoet said...

http://www.helkamavelox.fi/index2.phtml?page_id=1096&navi_id=1096&10012_iProductId=HMHM101i&10012_IPGSUB:67_t=viewPublicProduct&

Anonymous said...

That's Jan Ulrich's new ride. The rack is there to stash his pies and subs, the rest for his e-trips. The real tragedy is that he'd still kick all our asses.

Anonymous said...

"the right tool for the right job": switch out the wheels for something truable, add full fenders and a front rack, and the right job just might be working as a messenger in montreal. Challenges such as crater-sized potholes, cobblestones, snow and ice, steep climbs, underpaid 20km deliveries, and boxes full of betacam tapes, all would be easily conquered by that beautiful machine. please send it here.

Anonymous said...

BIKE SNOB IS A LOSER BIKING GIVES LOWERS YOUR SPERM COUNT AND GIVES YOU BALL CANCER

Bob said...

how about a carbon fiber epic from the 90's a road bike soooo good they turned it into a mountain bike

Anonymous said...

A little off topic, Guys... I have a question. Last week I looked at this site:
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Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

Hello. And Bye.

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Anonymous said...

Just because you can, does not mean you should. Some things should not be allowed to reach fruition!

I now know what the 'Abomination' of bicycling looks like. Someone tried real hard in pulling off something that fugly.

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