Thursday, May 16, 2013

This Just In: Close This Window FAST Unless You Want To See An Interview With Me!

Firstly, at 3:30pm today (that's my time, the time it is in New York City, and you can use that to extrapolate the equivalent time in whichever hick town you inhabit) Fat Cyclist is going to interview me:


I have zero confidence in my own computing abilities, but supposedly (or "supposably" as BSDN might say) the interview will appear in the magic box above.  If it doesn't, or if it's all cut off or something, then just go watch it on Fat Cyclist's site instead.  This whole thing is his brain child.  Well, his brain and my publisher's brain.

Their brains like totally "did it" and this is what came out.

Also, by way of an apology, I follow a general rule of thumb of keeping this blog free from my visage, but sometimes I have to violate it because you have to do this sort of stuff when you have a book out.  (Not that I don't like talking to Fat Cyclist--I do, very much--it's just that I don't like making people look at me.)  Anyway, sorry.

Or, I'll also violate it if I think the image is amusing:


 
(BKJimmy)

Well, I'm amused anyway.  And isn't that what really matters?

Also, just a reminder, there will be more off-foffing in Boston this Saturday, May 18th:

Be there or be someplace else you'd rather be--though I guarantee it will be a thousand times more exciting than that graphic.

So let's see, what's going on in the world of velocipeding?  Well, there's a Tour of California:


Yeah, I'm not following that, despite the incredulity expressed by commenters like this:


Blond, California Beach Blond said...

Snob not following the Tour of California??? At the end of each stage two super fox California surfer chicks give the Ass Monkey of the day a kiss. What's not to like?

May 16, 2013 at 9:51 AM 

So wait, I'm supposed to sit through some stupid bike race just to watch a couple of women give some Fred-for-pay a kiss?  You know, if you like to watch two "super foxes" double-team some mimbo they have this thing on the Internet called porn.  Really, watching bike racing for the sex is like eating ten pounds of this just because you like the olives:



(I'm forming a band called Olive Loaf.  Who wants to join?  Our first gig is opening for the Flaming Douches at the Great GoogaMooga face-stuffing douchefest in Brooklyn, OR.)

I am, however, interested in the local human interest stories surrounding the Tour of California.  For example, yesterday a reader sent me this notice, which was posted at Joe Mama's Coffee in Avila Beach:


I don't know what an "ass bike race" is, but I suppose I'd be pretty annoyed if one came to my town, too--though I'm not sure closing your store the day it is swamped with "rich people" is a particularly shrewd business decision.

I think the owner of Joe Mama may be the sort of person who eats an entire ham just for the olives.

Meanwhile, here in New York City, tomorrow is Bike To Work Day!  Here's the official banner:


Though I'd have gone with this:

At first glance, you might think he's sweaty because he biked to work.  Actually, though, what's happening is that his sexy co-worker promised him a "blowie" if he rode to work, and now he's cashing in.

My ideas are far too edgy for the stodgy world of bike advocacy.

Oh, here's the sexy co-worker:


See what I mean?  Edgy.

Anyway, the do-gooders at Transportation Alternatives are turning themselves inside out to please you this year, at least according to the email I received:

On Friday morning, leave extra-early for work to leave time to hang out with T.A. and other awesome bicyclists. You can find the social scene at one of these seven T.A. Fueling Stations, starting at 7 am:

Brooklyn Bridge (Brooklyn Tower)
Manhattan Bridge (Manhattan-side bike path exit)
Joyce Kilmer Park (E. 161st Street and Grand Concourse)
Williamsburg Bridge (Brooklyn-side bike path entrance)
Queensboro Bridge (Queens-side bike path entrance)
Staten Island Ferry (Whitehall Terminal)
Hudson River Greenway (W. 72nd Street)

Each T.A. fueling station will have coffee and breakfast, courtesy of our wonderful sponsors: KIND, Cabot, Brooklyn Roasting Co. and Vita Coco.

One of those fueling stations (TA won't reveal which) will also feature a desk, where you can sit down on a swivel chair, put your hands behind your head, and enjoy your congratulatory Bike To Work Day "blowie."

Of course, those of you who don't get a "blowie" still need to be congratulated for the simple act of riding your bicycle to work, so there's also a party for you--in Brooklyn, naturally, because only people in Brooklyn ride bikes:


On Friday night, put your party shoes on for an after work bicycling celebration. You can find the big biking bash in DUMBO, under the archway of the Manhattan Bridge, starting at 6:30 pm. Here’s just some of the exciting line-up of activities at the Bike Home from Work Party, presented by Giro:

  • Pop-up shops, like Giro’s “New Road” apparel line and the Shinola bicycle collection
  • Brooklyn Brewery beer garden
  • Food vendors curated by the Brooklyn Flea
  • Free food and drinks from Brooklyn Roasting Co., KIND, Cabot, Vita Coco and PopChips
  • Reflective Fashion show projected onto the Manhattan Bridge
  • DIY Silkscreen Station with Holstee, bike-friendly braid bar, Self-Portrait Project photo booth

And much more!


By the way, here's a handly translation guide for all the Nü-Brooklynese in the above announcement:

"New Road" = Regular shorts
"Pop-up shop" = A stand
"Food vendor" = A stand
"Curated" = Chosen, usu. in exchange for kickbacks
"Free food and drinks" = An hour-long line of sweaty white people in messenger bags and shants
"Reflective Fashionshow projected onto the Manhattan Bridge" = Embarrassing multi-media display
"Bike-friendly braid bar" = ???

I only left Brooklyn six months ago and already I hardly speak the language anymore.

Anyway, if you're going to participate in Bike To Work Day, here's my advice:

1) Get a job;
2) Ride your bike to it.

Good luck, and Lobspeed.



105 comments:

balls™ said...

I will not be the first scranus.

Anonymous said...

Beat you all!

JB said...

Olive loaf!!

theEel said...

weed!

McFly said...

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM olive loaf.

Anonymous said...

Yeah Cleveland!

Anonymous said...

storm queen top 10

Jimboner said...

Porra! Chegou tarde!

mikeweb said...

Read it too.

Congrats balls.

mikeweb said...

Olive loaf also has meat in it.

Don't let your meat loaf.

DB said...

Hey!
I'm at LaGuardia.
Where are you guys?

McFly said...

"jerk bike people?", sure I got a minute.

yum said...

Head cheese is grosser than olive loaf.

Charles said...

Mr. Ha-Wiggins, we barely knew you.

@rural_14 said...

Rural 1st!
I read it even
Top something.
Tiller effect!
I just helped 2 people go from bikeless to wanting to ride as much as possible / lent them racks / got them the right sized frame etc etc. Is there anything more satisfying? Well. yes.

I'm a robot, both scronag!

@rural_14

David Letterman said...

fat cyclist interview two days before I travel to Boston to interview you?

you will NEVER EVER be allowed to bore people on Late Night as long as I am the host!!!!

You will be hearing from lawyers of both World Wide Pants and Esteemed Commenter Daddo One enterprises!

you better not show up in Boston with a "sore throat" and you better have ALL NEW STORIES TO TELL, SCRANUS!

Jimboner said...

So I was at the starbucks in Ipanema yesterday afternoon and told the coffee-lady my name was Mike Hunt, but she pronounced it as Maicon (which is a name here in Brasil), so I gave her a quick pronunciation lesson, she was a quick learner and needless to say the results were hilarious!

Flyover Bike commuter from a hick town favored by New York tourists. said...

This is third year in row I'll miss biking to work on bike-to-work day.

I was hoping to score some publically funded swag this year.

Doesn't really matter though, I'm always at work before the way before the volunteers set up and hand out the goodies.

Yarpo said...

Scranus Top Twenny!

babble on said...

Yeah, sure. Rub it in. If I HAD a job, you know damned well I would be riding to it.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

hey, i ride my beik to work every day and i have never gotten a blowie from my sexy coworker... male or female.

lob damned it.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

babbs,

why not migrate south with your bike and man? we'll give you a job here.

crosspalms said...

In Chicago we don't get Bike to Work Day till June 14. Because we're on central time, I guess. But I hope we get the Shinola bike collection here...

netweed tucket, that's like an internet fanfare

ChamoisJuice said...

FUCK WORK

way off the back today

babble on said...

Thanks, Grouch. I might just take you up on that. In the mean time, I am going to take a bit of time to develop Bits'n'Bobs for better biking.

Chamois_Merckxx said...

Self-deprecating humor (with blinky visuals, no less) should never be paired with images of Olive Loaf, in my opinion. It confuses the message.

I am looking forward to your interview with Fatty, whose blog I jumped years ago.

Anonymous said...

I once got bike to work...Did I win bike to work day?
Blowie plz,thnx.

Yarpo said...

That photo of the olive loaf put me THAT CLOSE to arc-vomiting my breakfast across the room.

Olive Loaf is Third on the Podium of Horrible Foods behind Scrapple and Head Cheese.

Dame Hwee-Geenz-ah isn't such a rainy day rider it turns out. Painful to watch him today, shoulda taken the bus.

The Giro went through the region where grapes for prosecco are grown today but since I have to bike to work, no breakfast prosecco for me. MERDA!

Andare a fare un giro en salvo!

Don't worry people, I don't go dorktastically French during the TdF so you can breathe a sigh of relief...unless you're eating OLIVE LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAF!!!!!

Frilly Chick said...

Blondie, I would be delighted to hand out the podium kisses at ToC, especially if the ass grabber himself podio'ed. Speaking of I don't understand why those girls never cop a feel while they're at it. Fuck me, I would!

Marcel Da Chump said...

Bike to blowie day.

Anonymous said...

OLIV LOAF

leroy said...

Got the same email from TA this morning.

Asked my dog what a "bike-friendly braid bar" was.

He pointed to my legs and said "corn rows."

It used to be that I didn't understand what he said only half the time.

cyclingbuddy said...

I thought of your ultra magnificence as I read The God Delusion yesterday. The Great Lobs on high are called Esmerelda and Keith, two giant green lobsters who formed the earth with their might pincers. This is proof positive the great Lob on high is real!

McFly said...

Thats weird I assumed the upper buttock area of Babbles hiney would always have some splooge on it. Maybe she just got out of the ocean and the boys are not quite done with their volleyball game?

Comment deleted said...

Man, I've biked to work every frickin' day for over seven years.

Number of blowies received in compensation: 0.

Hammond firdesp: that's my kind of organ.

cyclingbuddy said...

I thought of your awesomeness yesterday as I read a book. forgive me for not cyclisting or reading your book at the time. But I must profess my devotion to Esmerelda and Keith the great green lobsters on high who formed the earth in their might pincers. It must be true because the great biologist/author Richard Dawkins mentioned them in his book. All butter the great lobs on high!!

Comment deleted said...

Babs, if I'm going to get any work done -- evar -- you're going to have to stop posting pictures of your legs.

Just in case it's not clear: DON'T stop posting pictures of your legs!

janinedm said...

First off, can I say that I've been nervous since BSNY moved to somewhere near my area (I live in Washington Heights)? When he was in BK, I didn't have to worry but now I worry about doing something ridiculous and seeing my back on this page. I never ride against traffic and don't shoal, but I inherited my mother's road rage even though I never learned how to drive a car. I'm a terrible jerk. I curse out people who ride on the sidewalk. I curse out cars. I coldly tell salmon to not even look me in the face. Sometimes, when I see old dudes on $3000 bikes I cut them off, because f--k 'em. So, BSNY, if you cross my path let me just say now that I'm sorry. About Bike to Work day. If they have the same people providing the free coffee as last year, color me psyched. I started cold brewing my own coffee thanks to their inspiration.

Comment deleted said...

Oh, also, Babs -- I just noticed there were WORDS on your blog. Best of luck with everything; you know we're all pulling for you.

Anonymous said...

@Crosspalms,

That explains why out here in Denver Mountain Time (the hidden time zone) bike to work day isn't until June 26th. That and it usually snows in May.

Anonymous said...

KNEEL BEFOR(TY)E ZOD.

http://18pounds.wordpress.com/2013/05/16/charles-ramsey-demands-bouzaglo-kitchen-nightmares-media-moratorium/

BikeSnobNYC said...

janinedm,

Don't worry, I only go "downtown" when I absolutely heave to--though I'm probably the old dude on the $3K bike you keep cutting off.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

BikeSnobNYC said...

Sorry, that's "have," not "heave." I'm picking up a Cleveland accent...

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Pimento loaf anti-defamation committee said...

Hey, watch it there!


Captcha? "and eatcont" I shit you not!

Cipo said...

I go "downtown" all the time. Not when I just heave to.

Comment deleted said...

I thought you were getting all salty-nautical on us, RTMS.

Comment deleted said...

"I'd like to accept this Blowie in the name of all the little people out there who make my commute possible."

Grumpy said...

F bike to work day. Regular commuters take tomorrow off to keep from getting pissed at stupid amateurs who ride once a year. Every day is Bike to Work day, stay home tomorrow and eat olive loaf.

crosspalms said...

Grumpy,
Think of all the swag you're giving up. One year I got a free T-shirt, banana, bagel, seat cover, blinky (sponsored by Blue Cross -- beats me), and Clif bars.

some skshcpo

yeah, got some of that, too

Anonymous said...

olive loaf, also known as pimento loaf, is basically baloney with olives stuck in it. Genius.

Doofus McGuinty said...

Lobs peed.

Daniel Weise said...

So what's wrong with eating the whole loaf just for the olives???? looking forward to the interview with Fatty. My only question is are you as witty in person?????

BikeSnobNYC said...

Daniel Weise,

To save you the time, no, I'm not.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Anonymous said...

I've gotten great full-service blow jobs at work. My wife does not work here.

Flyover BC said...

Grumpy,

now that the weather is warm in flyover country, there are bunch of new folks trying out bike commuting. Most of them appear to be Serious Freds (there's a band name for you WCRM) and/or try-athletes trying to get in some training.

Cat 6 racing is rampant, and the increasing numbers recreational bikers, hikers, and joggers are making it dangerous on the road.

Might be a good day to stay away.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Anon 2:26:

Q: Name two things a married man must leave the house to get.

A: Eggs Benedict and head.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Anon 2:26:

Q: What is the difference between your bonus and your penis?

A: Your wife will blow your bonus.

JB said...

Anon @ 2:26: "full-service" ?

Anonymous said...

The disgruntled coffee shop owner should not be so flippant in attacking Amegen (think she means Amgen).

They may choose to return the slight by refusing to sell her pharmaceuticals.

ChamoisJuice said...

I want to address Phillip's comment from yesterday:

"I don't understand how geometry can be outdated. Even bicycle geometry. It's not like humans or mountains evolved any in the last ten years. I kind of want CJ reviews of my bikes' set up. He'd choke to death on his own vomit."

Do you understand that technology is constantly progressing; that humans are always trying to make stuff work better?

I imagine you can look at a Penny Farthing and a modern bike and see that "geometry" has evolved a shitload in 100 years despite mountains and people not changing.

Bicycle riders are inherently kooks: either married to tradition or experimental Graeme Obree types. In order for a new idea to take off you need some combination of:

someone that is smrt mechanically

AND

someone that knows how to ride bikes real good and make people swing from their nuts.

These two traits are usually at odds with one another.

Once you have a good idea, then you need:
UCI fucktards to keep their euro noses out of it.
Anacronyms and bold graphics.
-cult of personality.

In the last ten years we have seen:
whole hearted adoption of suspension and disc brakes.
Several wheel sizes 24", 26", 650b, 29"
fantastic plastic
softer tire durometers
Tubeless
Shorter chainstays
slacker head angles
lower bbs
longer TTs
shorter stems
wider bars.

Better tires, suspension, brakes, wider bars, shorter stems, slacker head angles have dramatically changed the average rider's riding style, as well as the types of trails they ride. And within the last few, this has influence how riders are building and maintaining trail. The specialized stumpjumper is a good window into MTB evolution. Look at a 2013 SJ fsr EVO vs. a 2008 vs. 2003 vs. 98 vs 93 vs 88 vs 83 and the evolutionary trends are obvious.

It is obvious to anyone with a brain, that all of these CURRENT MTB improvements come directly from motorcycles. The shockers, the brakes, the tires, the wide bars, counter steering, yaw all the rest. And that the trends of the 90's: steep ass 71/73 bikes, long boner stems, narrow bars, seat much higher than bars, pinner tires all came from the technologically inbred world of ROADIES.

I don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about. In conclusion, everyone hates roadies.

I will make fun of your bikes in a minute, phillip

ChamoisJuice said...

The I have raging Sheldon Brown/Grant Peterson boner bike

Overall, I like this bike. This bike says "I AM A FRED (in the traditional Fred sense), and I AM PROUD!

What's wrong with it:
-bottle cage should be on down tube.

-needs fenders.

-bar bag AND a basket? Is the bike just too quiet with the fixed drivetrain and you wanted rattles?

-bars are fucked. Needs Grant Peterson Nitto Noodles and a polished quill stem. Plus decent cork or leather tape. I do not understand the appeal of creative handlebars. Don't you have other ways to express you individuality other than forcing yourself to ride with a limp wristed, knock elbowed passive passenger style?
-chainring
-needs salmon eagle ii's in the front.
-You own bowling shoes. Are you a serious bowler? Or do you sport them ironically? THERE IS NO RIGHT ANSWER.
-there's a bunch of little aesthetic details, but it's clear you don't care about stuff like that.

mikeweb said...

CJ,

We are patiently awaiting your real-time critique of the Fatty interview of BSNYC. Actually I can't tell who is interviewing whom.

Anonymous said...

Olive loaf sandwiches remind me of fishing with my dad. Haven't had one since 1984.

Dooth said...

Thanks for clearing the table.

mikeweb said...

CJ,

I would also welcome a critique of my Paramount Waterford road machine, or at least be amused by it.

mikeweb said...

I think Snobber was conducting the interview from the portico of Gracie mansion.

babble on said...

KISSES Snobbers.....xxxxxxxxxxxxx

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

More recumbabe.

Dooth said...

Who else got a blowie while watching the interview?
Hmmm, is that gay? Not that there's anything...

Lumpen Fredetariat said...

Babble,

Like the guys say, it's okay not to post any more words on your blog, but can you keep the beach photo stream going, pretty please? Sure makes my day.
Good luck and keep riding.

"ffectm shoemaker" indeed

Nina said...

DB was BSNYC at your daughter's wedding giving that interview? I'm sorry he was so disruptive to the catering staff.

McFly said...

Wildcat,
I say this with an unblemished track record of staunch heterosexuality. You're a beautiful man.

crosspalms said...

mikeweb,
I'm no CJ, but I have to point out a couple of things that are just wrong with your bike. First, it's perpendicular. Bikes are supposed to be horizontal. You can't ride it that way, all the blood will rush to the back of your head and cause confusion. Plus, if you get any traction, you'll leave skid marks on the wall. I don't know about your wife, but mine would disapprove. Second, that American flag decal on the top tube looks permanent. Aren't you supposed to furl those things after dark?

crosspalms said...

antscums love

seriously

ChamoisJuice said...

Strong, light, cheap, pick any two.

Ok, first off, this bike can never be cool, as it is a Trek with a fancy paintjob. You would be better off with a trek painted trek, than this fakenger.
That said, the paint job is cool, trek made a nice tig welded 4130 frame, and if you paid less than $400 for it, I approve.

I would put a Trek sticker on it, so other people know that you are aware that it's not a real bontrager.

I will start with what is right about the bike:
-the suntour bar end shifters, if they were on a different bike.

What's wrong with the bike:

-obviously the bars and stem. I like that you have painted the stem, though. OWN THAT!

-drop bars / suspension fork / full knobs is a confused set up. Lose the fork, run a semi-slick in the back, it would be somewhat better.

-pedals. Why do you have decent offroad pedals on the Sheldon Brown bike but these crappy things on here?

-wheels suck. Stupid asymetric rim, radial lacing, trek house brand garbage.

I can't continue. This is like critiquing the fashion sense of someone wearing sweatpants, sock and sandals.


mikeweb said...

crosspalms,

I should've explained my unorthodox home training setup. And believe it or not, that mounting area next to our sofa was the lady friend's idea.

McFly, I wrote 'mounting area' and 'sofa' in the same sentence. Do with it what you will.

mikeweb said...

Oh, and DB, welcome to New York. I hope your daughters nuptials are a joyous occasion, and stay well within the budget.

babble on said...

Thank you, guys! Yes, I promise to share photos along the way. And you know I can't help but babble on every now and again... xo

Dooth said...

DB, best of luck to you and yours. If you've got a few hours to spare, stop by Tonic Times Square sports bar, where I'm watching the Tour of Cali and enjoying a pint of Guiness.
http://www.tonicbarnyc.com/index

ChamoisJuice said...

Mikeweb-
Your Paramount is a cool frame. My thoughts on the bike depend on how long you have owned it and how much you paid for it.

It is difficult to properly judge you and your bike with only a non driveside pic to work with.

I cannot tell anything about your bartape job, either, and that says a lot about your values.

-your seat angle makes my taint hurt

-rims are offensive. Should be silver, low profile. I would lean toward open pros, thought there are acceptable substitutes.

-american classic post is heavy, difficult to adjust, prone to creaking and unsightly.

-Look pedals are french and make you walk like a duck. Anti american attitude does not suit the frame.

-your bottle cages are too euro.

Nebraska Bike Commuter (non DWI edition) said...

I was working in the hottest part of the plant today; lots of chamois juice to shower off.


Then I'm off to committee tsmular

Anonymous said...

No way am I riding to work tomorrow! I'm looking into my crystal ball, and I see way too many bowling ball commuter helments, hands-free smirkers, weeble-wobblers, and people who think they're fast who've never ridden more than 10 miles at a time but worry about what other people wear/ride. Plus, I am totally getting drunk after work.

Anonymous said...

Sir,

The firm of Troutman and Brown would advise you not to quit your day job.

Best Regards,

Troutman and Brown

The Rook said...

I shall take the mountaineering bike to the "work", on the morrow. I shall be quite fancy, in my jeans of blue, and boots with toes of steel.But no helment. No. Never with a helment! Though I shall be taunted by freds of every stripe, resplendent in tight pants, upon crabon steeds, messenger baglets with laptops slung on their backs, as they speed past and hail me kudos for riding my bike on this auspicious day. i ride every day, bitches. But good for you.

turned erelanti!

Aro said...

Not on topic re: this post, but thought you might like to scrutinize the City of Moreland's latest bike rack solution here in Brunswick, Melbourne AUS. I suspect a David Byrne-esque number may have been a rather more prudent option https://www.dropbox.com/s/dvxi5s1xy5ccjhc/IMAG0672.jpg

T said...

Dear Mr. Bike Snob.

With the proceeds from your new book, I propose you buy the video that is allegedly available of the Robs Fords smoking crack.
The .gif you could make out of this alone would drive enough traffic back to your site to double your investment.

Link: http://gawker.com/for-sale-a-video-of-toronto-mayor-rob-ford-smoking-cra-507736569

Angie Kritenbrink said...

That guy is not fat in the least.

Philip Williamson said...

Thanks, CJ, I can only infer from you stopping after 2 bikes is because one of the other ones killed you.

Every single geometry change you mention actually dates from the 80s. True, we have bikes that can bomb rock gardens faster. If that's not the riding one does, then there's no point to buying that kind of bike.

OX Platinum is 4130? Chris King makes crap hubs? Good to know. I like flared drops. Replacing the Bontrager-specific fork would be a huge pain for no gain. The knobs are for traction on dirt trails. Anyone who cares knows that the obnoxious orange and blue Privateer was made in Madison. No one is being fooled. KB likes my bike.

Fenders came off the green bike because I live in California again. Bag and a basket - try it. No rattling, and you can carry a 12 pack. The bike came with Noodles. I didn't like them, especially off road. This stem and bar combo is never coming off this bike. PetersEn. I don't like the bowling shoes ironically; I like them for real.

...and I see how the troll gets fed.

Anonymous said...

Yo, BSNYC check out GAWKER.COM it's a rad surprise!

BikeSnobNYC said...

Chamois Juice,

Did you really criticize a mountain bike for having knobbies and a road bike for having look pedals?

Cringeworthy stuff, I'm actually embarrassed for you.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Rub it in said...

Babble@1224: "Yeah, sure. Rub it in. If I HAD a job, you know damned well I would be riding to it." But with all the extra time for more cycling your great legs must be getting even greater tone wise. Plus, that extra morning time provides for getting in a romp with the man, provided he doesn't have to be out of the house at some ungodly hour.

Beach Blond, Male of the Species said...

Frilly@1249: Frilly if you and Nina would apply a Ménage à kiss I would push my ass to the top of the podium. Why don't podium foxes cop a feel? Because women are so shy I guess. Two weeks ago I was in a coffee shop and a woman I very casually know from group rides came over and said hi, etc, etc. She concluded our conversation by saying "So, are you going to fuck me or not?" I told her "your a great looking woman, but that can't happen"(I'm married; and yes, I do wear a ring). Her parting remark was "to bad for you, I give great head". I love the way women are so shy nowadays.

Support Recumbant Babe said...

"Joe Mama's Coffee": Poster says they support "bike racks", so they support Snob's Recumbent Babe. Good for them, a great rack should be supported.

ce said...

Fatty has a shiny cranus.

Anonymous said...

Beach Blond,
I was on a group ride in the back and I told a girl I am a world class wheel sucker. She dropped back and I did too and she says, "If there is one thing I love to do its suck, and I am really, really good at it. YOU could not pry me off."

Shy, indeed.

CommieCanuck said...

Seriously, who watches bike racing with a straight face any more?

"sacred ducinaf"

McFly said...

I am watching the ATOC and The Giro simultaneously because I have half a day off and it's raining. Tea Jay RapeVan Gardener is going for glory and turning himself inside out and pouring himself into the pedals and digging deep into his makeup bag full of excuses etc.

babble on said...

Yes, I am enjoying my morning hill climbs now that I get to ride the Cooper daily instead of the Amsterdam, and yes, even though the man does leave at an unGodly hour, there is more time for hanky panky. There are perks, and even without that position, I love my life. I'm just trying to figure out how to make this new lifestyle pay for itself.

And I would be happy to provide all of those less-than-shy girls out there tips on the ole deep throat, since there seems to be a resurgence of interest in the subject.

babble on said...

hmmm.... always on the lookout, I am sensing a new business opportunity.

and can you believe the captcha?
violea this

babble on said...

and why not?

100!!

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

oh frabjous day! callous callais!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-22565125

Anonymous said...

ChamoisJuice's bike criticism reminds me of the legendary rock critic Lester Bangs...before Snob's time.

Niall said...

"Drinking Walnut Creek wine" is pretty definitely code for "drinking Grant Petersen's Kool-Aid." Welcome to the fold.

How To, Indeed said...

Babble, 11:19: "And I would be happy to provide all of those less-than-shy girls out there tips on the ole deep throat."

With cloning Linda Lovelace may literally come back to life.

Anonymous said...

Olive loaf is shaped like Wonder Bread,how convenient!