Thursday, May 23, 2013

Sharing, Themes, Costumes, and Other Reasons "Biking" Is Like Kindergarten

So I got one of those emails everyone's talking about.  You know, the ones from the Internet?  Here's what it said:


Get ready: May 27th is Citi Bike’s very first day. We’re launching with a preview week for Annual Members who already have their member keys. Keys for members who signed up before May 17th are in the mail now, which means they should arrive before the 27th. 

I am ready.  So where's my fucking key already?!?  I need to put it on a key ring with a bottle opener on it, because everybody who rides a bike has a key ring with a bottle opener on it.

Oh, also, Citi Bike is having a party.

Save the Date!

Join us on June 2nd on the north side of Union Square in Manhattan from 11 am – 3 pm to celebrate the launch of Citi Bike. We’ll have music, food, a Citi Bike Street Skills learning zone where you can beef up your bike riding skills, plus some other fun special surprises. 

Hmm.  A four-hour party?  Given the program's price structure, if you "share" a Citi Bike for the Street Skills learning zone and all the rest of it, this little shindig is going to cost you at least $96.

I wonder if the Street Skills learning zone will feature Citi Bike polo or even Citi Bike jousting to help people hone their bike-handling skillz.  Regardless, Bike Snob Daily News should definitely partake, since she seems to have a pretty hard time riding these things.  (Hint for BSDN: The Citi Bike is like your SE Draft, only less shitty.)

As for me, I'm a masterful bike-handler and all-around cyclist who is grace personified when falling off my bicycle into my own urine or simply taking a header off my folding bike while placing a phone call, so I don't need to visit the "Street Skills" learning zone.  In fact, I now get to tell other people what to do, and to that end I've even recorded a whiny PSA-type lecture that will make you cringe:

Remember that Urban Cycling Hall of Fame?  Yeah, it's going to be Allan Cumming, Brian Lehrer, and me.  As for Shawn the Cabbie, if you were wondering why yellow cabs suck so much his advice should provide you with an explanation.  I particularly liked when he said this:

"You have no space to...drop the passenger off safely.  There is no way," to which he adds, "You have the same responsibility we have."

Actually, we don't have the same responsibilities you have, since you have a special license to drive people around the city in exchange for money.  This places additional responsibilities on you, including dropping passengers off safely, as inconvenient as that may be:

(c) Pickup and discharge of passengers by taxis, commuter vans and for-hire vehicles.
Operators of taxis, commuter vans and for-hire vehicles may, in the course of the lawful operation of 
such vehicles, temporarily stop their vehicles to expeditiously pick up or discharge passengers at the 
curb in areas where standing or parking is prohibited. Taxis, commuter vans and for-hire vehicles, 
while engaged in picking up or discharging passengers must be within 12 inches of the curb and 
parallel thereto, but may stop or stand to pick up or discharge passengers alongside a vehicle parked 
at the curb only if there is no unoccupied curb space available within 100 feet of the pickup or 
discharge location; however, picking up or discharging passengers shall not be made:
(1) Within a pedestrian crosswalk.
(2) Within an intersection, except on the side of a roadway opposite a street which intersects but 
does not cross such roadway. 
(3) Alongside or opposite any street excavation when stopping to pick up or discharge 
passengers obstructs traffic.
(4) Under such conditions as to obstruct the movement of traffic and in no instance so as to 
leave fewer than 10 feet available for the free movement of vehicular traffic.
(5) Where stopping is prohibited.
(6) Within a bicycle lane.
(7) Within horse-drawn carriage boarding areas.

Furthermore, your passenger is also responsible for following New York State law with regard to exiting a vehicle into traffic, and you might want to remind them of that:

Opening and closing vehicle doors. No person shall open the door of a motor vehicle on the side available to moving traffic unless and until it is reasonably safe to do so, and can be done without interfering with the movement of other traffic, nor shall any person leave a door open on the side of a vehicle available to moving traffic for a period of time longer than necessary to load or unload passengers.

So, yeah, obviously we're not stupid and we're going to look out for you, but technically a lot of this stuff actually is your problem.  I realize you think we're supposed to treat you like emergency response vehicles and stay out of your way, but keep in mind you're not putting out a fire.  You're just taking someone to the airport.

Meanwhile, in Portland, a reader tells me that the "anti-fluoride lobby" has managed to keep the stuff out of their water, even though they've apparently got the shittiest teeth in the nation:


Oregon has one of the highest rates of tooth decay in the nation, and yet, the state's biggest city will remain an outlier, thanks to the remarkable efforts of the anti-fluoride lobby, a non-partisan alliance of paranoiacs. "It’s as if an Occupy protest, a talk on artisanal cheesemaking, and a Tea Party rally were all accidentally booked at the same hotel ballroom," Marty Smith wrote in the Willamette Week. Relying on a handful of inapplicable research studies and the testimony of dubious experts, the anti-fluoridians have managed to keep scientific reality at bay. (For more on the scientific controversy, read Jake Blumgart's piece at Slate.)

Though in Portland it's not called having "shitty teeth."  It's called having an "artisanal smile."

In fairness to the kooks though, it may not be just the lack of fluoride in the water that's wreaking havoc with their grills.  It's also worth noting that people in Oregon love crystal meth, which isn't exactly great for your pearly browns either:


I won't link to any photos of crystal meth mouths, because the preliminary image search I did made me violently ill.  So instead, here's a naked lady on a recumbent:


You're welcome.

In any case, with Portland's Pedalpalooza right around the corner, I'm waiting for the bad teeth theme ride.  I don't see one on the schedule yet, though there is a Dave Matthews ride in the offing, which is almost as sickening:

I know there are some Dave Matthews fans in Portland! We will unite and ride around together blasting DMB as loud as possible while talking about our undying love for the greatest man to walk the earth. Hacky sacks and bros welcome. 

Or, if you prefer an ironic urban veneer over your blindingly white music-themed ride, you can opt for this one instead:

RUN-D.M.C. VS. BEASTIE BOYS 
SE 50th and Division 
7:00pm, Rolling out @ ~7:30
Calling all B-Boys & Fly-Girls! 

Yes, yes y'all and we don't stop! 

Kicking off Pedalpalooza with a bang for the 2nd year! 

This is a Slow rockin' ride BUMPING my favorite Run-DMC and Beastie Boys jams along with some Funky Fresh Old School Hip-Hop (think NYC early-mid 80s) plus a couple of G-Funk bangers thrown in for good measure as we roll around the "mean" streets of P-Town. 

SLOW pace with occational dancing stops. 

R.I.P. Jam Master Jay (Jason Mizell) & MCA (Adam Yauch) 
End of an era Baby . . . 

Break Dancers: BYO Cardboard 

Bring Lights! Rock ADIDAS! Ride at own risk! 

In Portland, a "B-Boy" is a Bard graduate.

And these are "fly girls:"



The Portland "fly girl" scene has yet to produce its Jennifer Lopez, but that's not for lack of trying:



Portlanders' libidos have been so sublimated by bikes that they find lengthy trackstands far more arousing than robust posteriors.

Anyway, if neither of these theme rides are for you, you can also just ride around eating random vegetation and hope you don't die:

FOOD FORAGING! 
Vera Katz Statue, SE Eastbank Esplanade and Main St 
5:30pm - 8:00pm
Learn about wild and freely available domesticated food available around Portland. 

We recommend bringing collection bags and scissors and/or a knife. Most of these plants (and fungus, if we're lucky) will need to be cooked before you eat them, so don't rely on this ride for immediate dinner. Our route will depend on what's in season, but plan to cover a lot of ground.  

I predict the Food Foraging! theme ride splits off into two subgroups: the Tripping Balls! theme ride, and the Race To The ER! theme ride.

Lastly, in pro cycling news, Belkin (presumably the company that makes the routers and crap) may take over sponsorship of the team that was Rabobank:


"We have serious interest and indeed see the opportunities to increase our brand awareness through cycling and to show what the world we do. It is premature to say that there is an agreement,” a Belkin spokesman told De Telegraaf.

I don't know what kind of company would possibly put money into pro cycling team sponsorship in 2013, so I can only assume someone at Belkin ate some ambiguous fungi while food foraging.

124 comments:

dnk said...

ROB FORD IN DA HOUSE!

Tom said...

1!?

Paul Bowen said...

Oh, hallo!

Anonymous said...

Recumbabe!

Damn, coulda been first but for this stinkin' Captcha

mikeweb said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
dnk said...

robs fords

Kai Vallon said...

"Ambiguous Fungi," good band name.

mikeweb said...

Robba the Fords

Anonymous said...

TOP TEEN

ChamoisJuice said...

Draggin' ass

Marcel Da Chump said...

So true..bottle opener on my key ring.

le Correcteur said...

Ouch! Stop obsessively checking, end up out of the top ten.

Unread. Book nsleespe.

Anonymous said...

Yea Cleveland.

ChamoisJuice said...

Keyrings with bottle openers are yet another reason roadies are pansies. If you can't open a beer without a proprietary tool, you fail as a man.

Best way to open a beer with a bike: ignore the dreads and fixie

DerZoots said...

Top twoonty!


Scrantillious!


9902 levSale

Yarpo said...

Superi Venti e Scrotano!!!

g. said...

I would love to see what BSDN has to say for herself in light of The One True Snob's opinion of her. Then again, I think her life is fairly delusional and she finds the attention flattering.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

got distracted by a cyclist running over a duckling...

fuck a duck

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Big laughs today. Thanks WCRM. Yeah, the babe is much easier on the eyes than meth mouth.

Flyover bike commuter said...

The sprockette with (h)airy armpits isn't a turn off. But why do they need those tattoos?

Portlanders love their bikes too much. It's cultlike and disturbing.

Next thing you know they'll be riding the seatposts, sans seats.

McFly said...

I like the way Jude Law talks. I find his voice soothing in these troubled times. Can't you jackholes TYPE like he TALKS?

I will do the music ride if this girl shows up.

Buffalo Bill said...

I can't see it from my vantage point, but I expect recumbabe has a robust posterior, and that would be a very good thing.

gaze escoplea - indeed.

db said...

"It’s as if an Occupy protest, a talk on artisanal cheesemaking, and a Tea Party rally were all accidentally booked at the same hotel ballroom."

Sounds like the 9th circle of hell...

DB said...

Bloc Boi wasn't booked to play Portland?
What a shame.

GRXR said...

Totally agree

crosspalms said...

I only eat domesticated food. Last time I let wild food in the house it peed on the carpet and knocked over a vase of tulips. I have cats for that sort of thing.

DB said...

db is my little brother.

wishiwasmerckx said...

McFly, Tiva is a careful shaver.

Comment deleted said...

How can a trackstand be "badass"?

It's like an epic chain-lubing, ferchrissakes.


Roille Figners said...

Fluoridated drinking water is bullshit in exactly the same way helments are bullshit. Both are promoted by a corporate PR machine, accepted as the gospel truth by a large population of preachy unquestioning busybody morons, scientifically proven not to work as promised, usually presented with exaggerated rhetoric and scare tactics (since facts don't support it), and mitigates risks easily avoided altogether by other, more sensible means (example: ride safely and not like a moron; brush your goddamn teeth once in a while and use a fluoride RINSE - the shit works TOPICALLY anyway, not by ingesting it all day long)

So, fuck me.

David said...

Guess we should stop vaccinations too. Just have kids go get cowpox from an artisanal dairy.

And, fluoride messess up your heroin buzz. Ask anyone riding a bike with less than 26" wheels in downtown Portland.

Anonymous said...

help me out here

is recumbabe hot or not?

she seems a mite homely..

can;t really see beyond the yoko specs though

oh wait, i shouldn;t be looking at her actual face..

wle

Isolation Helmet said...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qA4gKJo35fM

Anonymous said...

Snobby....rumor has it that this is you on your clown bike riding gregariously towards a scranus festival to forage for yabbie snax. Is that true? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPsY2NfPJtw

Anonymous said...

Top XXXX oooops, XL !!

janinedm said...

I could focus on the trackstand in the video because I was too distracted by the little girl on the right in the blue shirt who doesn't know anything about throwing. I'm a very unathletic person (hence the avid biking) but even I could hit a stationary object from 10 feet away. especially if you gave me a bunch of tries. I know she's just a kid, but that "artisanal aiming" is wack.

Roille Figners said...

That's right David, not having fluoride in the water equals banning every useful technology ever invented! GOSH MAYBE WE BETTER RETHINK THIS, I'M SCARED.

balls™ said...

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

So instead, here's a naked lady on a recumbent:


I am now feeling laterally stiff and vertically compliant.

janinedm said...

is that a trick question, Anonymous? Gisele Bunchen isn't hot on a recumbent. Hotness on a recumbent isn't possible.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Roille Figners,

Fluoride treated water isn't like helments, it's more like bike infrastructure. Not everybody wants it, not everybody needs it, and some argue it's being shoved down our throats, but on balance it probably does make everybody safer.

I think the whole helment lobby thing is more like telling everyone they should wear a device on their face that constantly brushes their teeth and irrigates their mouth.

The vaccination comparison is also apt, since there are plenty of people who refuse to vaccinate their kids, and their reasoning is similar to the whole anti-fluoride thing.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Million_dollar_usb_cables said...

Belkin's business model is putting stickers on stuff anyone can buy in wholesale lots in Taiwan/China. Nice work if you can get it I guess.

This is going to end badly and then Belkin will have yet another ignominious honor, this time outside retail electronics.

I am a robot responding to 1517 few days.

Nina said...

Am already laughing from the expected split of the food foraging ride into the Tripping Balls! Ride and the Take Me to the ER Ride, then DB asked very good and important question - why is Bloc Boi not booked in Portland??

Recumbabe, yay! Thank you for not being a meth mouth.

That would be ewscile expected.

Anonymous said...

Careful Nina. There is something in your coffee. And it's not flouride. It's a roofie.

Dooth said...

A woman getting pelted by water balloons whilst track standing is Portland punishment for Not sublimating her sex drive.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

Roille Figners,

someone gave me a big sticker that says, "danger! there's fluoride in your drinking water."

i didn't know what it meant, but i stuck it to the little one's bike seat.

thanks to you, now i know what it means... and there it shall remain to f@#$ with people.

the Commentariat said...

Roille, fluoridation has been an unprecedented public health success story backed by indisputable scientific evidence, and you are a fucking idiot.

JB said...

That sitting on the handlebars trackstand thing is like trick #1 of 1986 freestyling. It's badass if you're 13 years old on a new Schwinn Scrambler.

I could also lay my bike on the ground, stand on the crank arm, lean back and pull the bike up with the handlebars, throw my leg over, and ride away. It got the chicks.

ChamoisJuice said...

Trick #1 is the motherfucking wheelie. In 1986 or 2013, the wheelie owns all.

If your bike can't wheelie, it sucks.

Trailer Park Cyclist said...

It sucks wheelie bad. Wheelie wheelie bad. Wheelie. Fworwide. Fworide for your teef.

ChamoisJuice said...

example #1: Recumbents

example #2: Tandems

I rest my case.

The Cool Kids said...

We call it a "manual."

ChamoisJuice said...

What kinda cool kid doesn't know the diff between a manual and wheelie?!?!

Wheelie is where it all starts. Power, grace, style = WHEELIE

Wheelie -> coaster wheelie -> manual

Inspector Clueseau said...

The post as 2:22p was well reasoned, suitably informed, grammatically correct and lacking all wit and snark.

You are obviously an impostor and I demand to know who are you and what have you done with the real Wild Cat.

PBateman said...

i did not expect to hit today's comments and see a debate over ..flouride.

though, it would seem like you could organize an epic event around the subject: The Great Flou Ride for Flouride.

well, one thing i'm sure we can all agree on is that Dave Mathews Band is just the worst - at least on par with meth mouth.

i was going to leave a link to a search for Meth Mouth but i have also just made myself very sick indeed. good grief. think i'll stick to good ol' cocaine.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

"I think the whole helment lobby thing is more like telling everyone they should wear a device on their face that constantly brushes their teeth and irrigates their mouth."

A visual representation of said device would be most excellent.

Roille Figners said...

WRM - I suppose if you want to be precise with the analogy it would be like there was a futuristic chemical in the water that slowly poisons you but also causes you to grow an extra-thick covering on your head that serves as a healemenet. Fatal head injuries would plummet of course but everyone would die of cancer instead.

Commentariat - You're just jealous of my huge cock. That namecalling shit though - wow - totally convincing! Actually you had me at "indisputable" -- obviously all doubts are silenced worldwide as soon as you bust that one out.

You lost your shit over someone else's water. You can't entertain contrary opinions. You trust authorities.

Bert said...

So with Citi Bikes what happen's when someone gets a flat... is there a repair service or do they just walk their bike to the nearest stand and pay an exorbitant late fee...

Roille Figners said...

PS Recumbabe IS homely.

And I did plenty of math and it didn't hurt my teeth at all... what am I missing?

BikeSnobNYC said...

Bert,

The stations are pretty close to each other. I'd imagine you just walk it or rim it, or else you call the help line.

Or you can always flag down a passing recumbent for a tow, whichever works for you.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Anonymous said...

Bert,
The tyres are solid rubber.

Comment deleted said...

Many esteemed Air Force Majors agree with Roille about the danger fluoridation poses to our vital bodily essence.

Comment deleted said...

Brigadier Generals, actually. The Majors seem more concerned about the private property of the Coca Cola Corporation.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 3:59pm,

Ah! Well that would explain why there's nothing on flat tires in the Citi Bike FAQ...

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Anonymous said...

Yeah, fluoridation of water--like Cap'n Beefheart would say, it's "safe as milk'



In rare cases improper implementation of water fluoridation can result in overfluoridation that causes outbreaks of acute fluoride poisoning, with symptoms that include nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. Three such outbreaks were reported in the U.S. between 1991 and 1998, caused by fluoride concentrations as high as 220 mg/L; in the 1992 Alaska outbreak, 262 people became ill and one person died.[60]

General Jack D. Ripper said...

Do you realize that fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous Communist plot we have ever had to face?

do you realize that in addition to fluoridating water, why, there are studies underway to fluoridate salt, flour, fruit juices, soup, sugar, milk... ice cream. Ice cream, children's ice cream.

You know when fluoridation first began?

Nineteen hundred and forty-six. Nineteen forty-six. How does that coincide with your post-war Commie conspiracy, huh? It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hard-core Commie works.

babble on said...

hey! I have a Robust Ass!

babble on said...

Don't even get me started on fluoride.

Comment deleted said...

Hooray! Spokenscene is back! You can't keep a good girl down.

Anonymous said...

Wow, glad I don't drive a cab. That's a whole lotta responsibility. Since bikes lack doors, we have even less responsibility than someone riding in a cab. That is why a bike is perfect for me.

le Correcteur said...

Fluoride Agnostics, Unite!

And I really like the suggestion for a fluo ride ride; or was it a flou ride for fluoride?

suppaye give

Anonymous said...

I was just listening to a piece on WNYC about Weiner and Bikeshare, and they had a review on the bikeshare bike that claimed they used nitrogen filled tires.....

Anonymous said...

Durable
Tires
The puncture-resistant tires are
filled with nitrogen to stay inflated,
rider after rider.
http://citibikenyc.com/meet-the-bike

Anonymous said...

Anti-Floridians? What do they have against America's dingleberry?

Anonymous said...

The "other" bike snob's abbreviation, if she were to go over to the daily post (which may or may not be a paper in NYC) would be BSDP.

She single?

babble on said...

Can someone please tell me how I dropped a dress size AND gained ten pounds? My robust posterior wants to know.

Dooth said...

Dear babble babe, your robust posterior...your robust posterior ...your robust posterior ...(I've lost my train of thought)...your robust posterior...

Serial Retrogrouch said...

Babble,

you lose some, you gain some... no need to worry about nothin'... life is good, dear.

oh, i heart [your] (robust) post(terior)...

welcome back.

the Commentariat said...

Babble, please don't tell me that there are VPL's (visible panty lines)in your selfie. We had you pegged as a commando type of girl.

Niall said...

The music in that first Sprockettes says it all - Portland is free of the pernicious influence of David Byrne. So they've got that over you.

Dennis said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
babble on said...

I am a commando kinda gal sometimes. I was just trying on a suit which hadn't fit the week before...

David said...

Unvaccinated children died in our area this year due to whooping cough. Parents didn't want anything 'foreign' in their kid's body. Public health is not the same as personal medicine. That is also why before TB treatment we locked up active cases. Thumping one's chest about personl rights trumping public health works really well until someone else give you a deadly gift that keeps on giving.

That said, arguing about fluoride is as useful as arguing over rock music or pizza. Everyone will have an opinion, and facts won't matter. Done.

ChamoisJuice said...

Best thing about portland is steak for breakfast at the acropolis.

ChamoisJuice said...

Vancouver gals love their white pants.

Yarpo said...

Babbletina, nice Un-Hiatus from the Hiatus. Yes, I Italified your name but you can totally pass for a Hot Italian Woman, so there!

Ro-ro-ro-ro-ro....
Bust-bust-bust-bust-bus-bus....
Pos-pos-pos-pos....
Terior-terior-terior-r-r-r-r....

Whew. Reminds me of the Star-Covered-Nipple and the Leg-View.

Is there a cold, cold, shower around here someplace?

Toppid? Hell Yes!

Roille Figners said...

David, I mean, are you just sort of putting the fish in the barrel for me to shoot here or what? Tooth decay is not a communicable disease, so none of that shit applies.

Public health indeed, that's what the people of Portland voted to maintain. It works great, since anyone who doesn't like it can go buy some goddamn fluoride rinse or stay the fuck out of Portland.

Roille Figners said...

Visible panty lines are HOT.

Babs they say muscle is more dense than fat -- takes up less room yet weighs more. I suppose you've been riding. And maybe bicycling as well.

Is this the surface train that stops frequently, signore?

"No, eet ees ze

tunnelsi express

David said...

That is called public health for those that have good dental care, no public health for those that do not. Not all children are so lucky as to have have enlightened or educated parents. Some parents might even find dentistry offensive. Some parents let their kids die while they pray for their health. Fluoride in water is a nice way for society to care about those whose care is sub par.

I suppose you would also like iodine removed from salt?

leroy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
leroy said...

Dear Mr. Fingers --

My dog wants to know if this means you're going to be a no show for his Flo Rida fluoride ride.

There will be breaks for dancing.

Shawty had them Apple Bottom jeans, jeans
Boots with the fur, with the fur
The whole club was lookin’ at her
She hit the flo’, she hit the flo’
Next thing you know
Shawty got low low low low, low low low low

Robust posteriors welcome.

(And I wish I wrote that Marty Smith line.)

the Commentariat said...

Hey Mr. Straw Man, who says that only communicable diseases are proper subjects of legitimate public health concern?

Guess we'll be de-funding cancer research then, eh?

Don't try to think; you'll only injure yourself whilst annoying all those around you.

leroy said...

I don't worry about fluoride since my dog told me about the scandalous things fish do in our drinking water every day.

Purity of essence. Peace on earth. So elusive. So elusive.

Anonymous said...

Rollie Fingers: Actually tooth decay is a communicable disease. You can start with something like this to bring yourself up to speed.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/?term=tooth+decay+oral+bacteria

Anonymous said...

Gee let's see what's worse than putting fluoridated water in my body?
Is it the hot dog from the ball park, the fatty I smoked at the show, the exhaust I inhaled from riding in traffic, the big gulp I pounded, the charred steak I grilled, the dust I inhaled from drywall sanding, the copius amounts of booze I drink.... nah, when I go it was because of the water.

David said...

@Anon 8:09
Unfortunately, I tend to agree with you. Even the rake laying tine up under the leaves could finish you off if you step on it. Its effing dangerous out there!

In the spirit of altruism, I think fluoride will help more kids get laid. Who wants to hit the gal/guy with a brown stump smile?

Wait for it: Rollie will now point out that lack of fluoride will get that same cohort of kids a better blowie since no teeth are in the way.

Blog Drafter said...

"Mein F├╝rher, I can...wank!"

Grump said...

As for the anti-fluoride lobby, maybe they have something......(besides the Clap)
Ya gotta remember...P.O.E.

Everyone knows that it's a Commie conspiracy.

Anonymous said...

The whole pro-fluoridation argument rests on the completely untested assumption that teeth are good.

Anonymous said...

Regarding the CitiBikes' tires being nitrogen-filled:

I saw that on their website a few days ago when I was looking into their crappy half-hour surcharge and it baffled me, so I'd like to refer that question to Dr. Snob, if he reads this:

Is that a real thing? Filling up your tires (or maybe it only works with special tires) with pure nitrogen, rather than air (~78% nitrogen by volume) makes them resistant to flats?

Euro Spondee said...

Bikes, people, bikes. And cheering on Babble.
Can we leave these stupid arguments "I'll ad hominem you, you p.o.s" etc to the rest of the internet?

babble on said...

Yes, muscle is six times more dense than fat, or something like that. Some guy called me vapid over on Reddit. I wanted to point out that I am far too dense to be vapid, but I seem to be swimming through molasses in a chilly Canadian spring, and it was just too much trouble to bother.

And yes I'm riding more, and more intensely, for sure, but it's not like I'm riding all day every day. An hour and a half every day instead of an hour, some days two. Just I'm focusing on my weakness - hills. I can see putting on a bit of muscle, but ten pounds? Doesn't that seem like a lot? Some other guy on Reddit suggested I am all full of shit and my inner bitch had to wonder if he was on to something.

Fluoride. It's really good at strengthening your enamel when it is applied directly to your teeth. That's why your dentist gives you a fluoride rinse when you go in to see them. And there is a very good reason why they insist you spit the stuff out, too, BTW. Your dentist will never ever give you fluoride tablets to take at home, despite their handy access to a prescription pad. WHY do you suppose that is?

Because it does bad things to your brain, is all. It can even kill you.

And EEWWWW. You eat that iodized salt shit? You have got to be kidding. People wonder why our health care systems are beyond stressed, why cancer is epidemic, why autism and personality disorders rates are skyrocketing and then they go on blindly polluting their bodies with whatever experimental concoction corporate America comes up with for them.

Now THAT's fucktarded.

In my humble, full of shit opinion.

Anonymous said...

Babble:

"And EEWWWW. You eat that iodized salt shit? You have goiter be kidding."

There, fixed that. Also cretinism.

Paint Work said...

Dave Matthews v.s Jello Biafra

the Commentariat said...

Wow! You guys do realize that the benefits of iodized salt and fluoridated water are beyond reasonable scientific dispute and that you are batshit crazy, right?

Yarpo said...

I'm just happy that the Commentariat contains so many Dr. Strangelove fans. New-kee-ler combat toe to toe with the Russkies. Love It!

@Paint Work: Jello Biafra. My most ripped up, trashed, and ragged shirt is my Holiday In Cambodia t-shirt. I will never get rid of it and I still laugh about the douchebag from Boston who got all offended because it says The Dead Kennedys on the front. Almost came to fisticuffs over it. That was in 1982. Consult the Dachsund of Time to figure out how long ago that was.

leroy said...

My dog tells me that licking the salt takes the iodine off it.

He prepared some if anyone is interested.

Fritz said...

All you silly feckers and your blather are going to have to answer to the Coca Cola Company

Paint Work said...

Yarpo, 1982,,, geez I'm fifty years old, but I'm having trouble remembering that year...may be from that sucker punch I took outside CB's,

Dave said...

"I'm not saying we won't get our HAIR MUSSED! Ten million dead - twenty, tops!"

Always funny when people take full advantage throughout their lives of the benefits of the scientific method, and yet pick and choose which science they will accept as valid - not understanding just how the method works toward more and more reliable validity.

David said...

Flew into NYC in 67' and could not see the city. In 00' flew in to clear skies. Stupid catalytic converters and fuel injection.

Effing stupid kids in iron lungs trying to rip off the fed for support.

Rural electrification!? Buy a kite and a Leyden jar for Fuxsake!

The Rook said...

Rock on yarpo.

ge said...

Seriously, why all the hate towards DMB? I mean, I can listen to nearly half of one of his shorter songs before I clue in and change the station. I mean, he can't be half bad then, can he? Oh wait, math. Never mind.

Captcha's informed me of the upcoming reseogn TOUR. What channel?

Anonymous said...

ant1st still blows goats.

Anonymous said...

Babble said she "dropped a dress", I always figured her for a "we can just slide it up" kind of girl.

JB said...

Pondering Recumbabe's sexual attraction is missing her serene resplendence.

Roille Figners said...

David I dunno, maybe it wasn't clear - I said pointing out other irrelevant technologies is a FAILED argumentation technique, not a good one. Example: "Fluoride is good because penicillin is good." No, doesn't work. "We all might as well go back to the Bronze Age if you're not going to agree to be force-fed some dubious shit you don't want." No, doesn't work.

Commenthairycunt - You said indisputable again - I'm quivering and weak - how can I resist? You have a deep need for certainty that makes you ripe for exploitation by fascists. Everything in science is disputable, by the way (numbnuts).

But no don't worry, I'm the batshit crazy one. Better stay away from us crazy freaks and stick to someplace safer people! Thanks for TAKING SUCH AN INTEREST FOR SOME REASON though.

Lick my balls,

Roille Figners

jayteepee said...

Oh fuck! I thought the bill was "anti-Floridian", and voted against it, because I sure as shit didn't want to be dodging golf carts in the bike lanes.

Gene Tenace said...

Hey Man, put over the plate that they can swing at!

JB said...

Everything in science is disputable?

Is is disputable that we need oxygen to live? the moon is revolving around the Earth? Copper transmits electricty?

Anonymous said...

Recumbabe is hot enough.

If a guy is willing to hang around until whatever woman he's with gets naked, he's already decided she's attractive enough. And it'd be ungentlemanly to bail at that point anyway.

On the other hand it's generally acceptable for a guy to gnaw his own arm off the next morning, in order to make a getaway.

Anonymous said...

Yeah... so the difference here is, you aren't going to round up enough people to dose with fluoride and have a 'control' to prove that you're right about fluoride, whereas it's unlikely you're so dumb you can't prove a couple of these other things with a plastic bag, multimeter, and battery.

The moon is in an irregular rotation around the sun--what does it's relationship to us matter?

Perspective helps fucktardedness...

BicycleShopSG said...

what the????

CommieCanuck said...

dear Anon...

Montreal has never fluoridated water.
Toronto has fluoridated water for 60 years. The only difference in sample of 1.5 million in each city is worse dental health in Montreal, leading to more medical problems.

Don't drink water, I read on the internets some guy drowned from too much water, true story.

Floss is the name of the Game said...

Floride, floride, floride. Does anyone remember when this blog used to be about cycling and Babble's Legs?