Yes, that's right, circumstances require that as of today I take temporary leave of this blog until Monday, September 19th, at which point I will return with regular updates. This leave has been in the offing for quite some time, so don't act all surprised about it, even though I haven't mentioned a thing about it on this blog until just now. Also, I won't bore you with what I'll be doing during my leave, though I can confirm that I will not be doing any of the following:
--Going to Interbike
--Going to Eurobike
--Going to the Vuelta a EspaƱa
--Going to Rock and Roll Fantasy Camp™
--Getting an adult Bar Mitzvah
In my absence, I suggest that you follow my Twittering account just in case I have important news to relate, such as my consumption and enjoyment of a particularly tasty brand of corn chip that I think you might also like to try. (Where's that check, Doritos people?) And speaking of Twitter, a fellow Tweeterer recently alerted me to the existence of this:
It would appear that someone is trying to achieve a sort of arch McSweeney's-meets-Cycle-Chic effect by combining photos of models on bicycles with prose like this:
When piloting your velocipede it is imperative that you consider prudence, modesty, and decorum at all times, lest you be sanctioned by local law-keepers for improper attire. For, you see, high moral conduct is the chief concern of our metropolitan constabulary, and young women on bicycles must bear in mind the moral weakness of pedestrians as they navigate our sin-besotted conurbation.
In other words, don't ride with your ass crack showing.
In other words, don't ride with your ass crack showing.
As for the so-called "Brooklyn Magazine" itself, I had never come across it before, but the following video they've produced is a pretty good summation of the current state of affairs:
Brooklyn Magazine Promo from Louis Gruber on Vimeo.
Yes, Brooklyn does have many faces, and they make you want to grab them by their patterned scarves and shout horrible, horrible things into them.In any event, pending my return, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll feel inexplicably tingly, and if you're wrong you'll hear a song.
Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and I look forward to "seeing" you when I return on September 19th.
1) The speed at which a retrogrouch goes "Woo hoo!" is:
--46mph
--46kph
--27mph
(Off to a foffing good start.)
2) There is only one Dmitry Fofonov.
--True
--False
“But with the miles, the pain from the hole in my perineum got stronger."
3) Who said this?
4) This $5,500 titanium and belt-driven commuter:
5) Do police officers hate cyclists?
--Yes
--No
6) To this day, nothing gets attention in Williamsburg like a nice set of:
7) Hooray! It's ________:
--Helmets
--Helments
2,023 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 1001 – 1200 of 2023 Newer› Newest»Well, thanks a lot!
I'm not going to tell you anything about my name...
Missed. Wanted the last of the first 1000, and I got the stinking first of the second 1000.
Oh well, I'll take it, where are my podium girls. I aught to get a whole harem of them for making 1000!
See Venice and die,
but first give them podium girls a try...
...sorry pal...i quite the race & invited the podium girls out in the team helicopter for dinner & drinks back @ 601...
...we're in st tropez quaffing down the bubbly & feeding each other bites of fresh lobster...
...just sayin'...
BGW, is butter involved?
i be danmned.
warming up printer for official certification of the occasion.
hey look the ticker went to four digits...don't see that every day. nope you don't.
It is now Monday, September 19. This is the day that BSNYC is officially back from "Away-Going."
I grant you permission, and ask that you take the opportunity to use it, to post early. Way early, would be most appreciated.
Something must stop the insane actions of your commentors of trying to make chances for comment sprints.
P.S. We will not stop on our own. We are now addicted to commenting, and only a new post to read will cure this dreaded new disease.
hey look now we can play "10-codes"
just like the bandit and smokey,
over
and cops, them cops use 10-codes.
us hams us Q-signals, but only on in morse code
dadidah
CQ CQ CQ de N5S..
I would post the rest, but I really don't want anyone looking up my callsign after I have contributed at least 100 useless comments to this blog site in the last day or two.
1016
@nogo
100 eh? that's about right as there's the six of us and frilly.
oh and congrats on backing into another
Or is guess I should have posted:
da dit da dit da dit da dit
da da dit dit
Humm, If I heard it I probably would still recognize it, but I don't think I could still send it.
Morse Code is one of those things that the vast majority learn to pass the test, and then promptly forget it afterwards. Now you don't even need to know 5 words a minute, but hardly anyone takes the test now, because it is so easy just to use a computer if you wish to talk to someone on the other side of the world.
wp, I really wanted the last post of the page. I did that before, and thought it would be cool to do it again.
It is hard to do when others are posting rapid fire though. Don't mind winning the page change podium, but it doesn't seem like winning at all when all the podium girls are over at BGW's secret rendezvous spot for the rest of the evening.
Yikes!
No way in hell we'll ever get this mess cleaned up before the boss gets back. You guys are lucky to have a chimp to blame it all on.
holding down hilarity with teamwork from andre the giant!
...listen to your next cab driver...
...'10-9' ???...
...sorry...what i really meant to say was, listen to your next english speaking cab driver...
...'check'...
Vito. Please don't tell people you are a chimp. Remember being told you are a helper monkey!
Chimpanzees are apes, not monkeys. You are a monkey; therefore, you are not a chimp.
..."garcon...nous avons besoin de plus de beurre fondu, s'il vous plait..."...
BGW,
DƩsolƩ, n'ont pas de beurre, la margarine sera fait?
Now we need to fight over who will comment LAST before the long-awaited new posting by the Snob. Who will be the Thousand-Plus Comments LANTERN ROUGE?
ME!!!
THAT'S WHO!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHA!!!!!!!
...nogocyclist...i'm almost as insulted by your offer as i am by lanterne rouge thinking he's gonna be last...despite the well known implications of his name...
...btw, a gentleman never offers a lady margarine...i shan't be the one to pass your offer on to the podium girls...they've proved themselves to be ladies in my eyes...
Never let it be said that this blog suffers from low morale.
...or Ima fuckin' KILL YOU!
Day-um!
On the other hand, if you want to drive the "Nogocyclist and Ghostoftyrone have a liiitle too much time on their hands" bus, then I'll hop on board & pay a double fare.
hole e. cat titties. here we are again. you know, we don't have to stop just because you-know-who starts blogging again soon...
hey, wait a minuet, somebody done did already poster a blog. says here 18 september...another first?!
ah hell, just some jibber about euro cat 6's.
this is more funnery.
ONE
THOUSAND
THIRTY
SEXst!
Look, "Real Chimpanzee," only the boss gets to refer to me as a monkey. Got it?
Now I've got a lot of work to do so don't bother me no more.
Okay BGW, I'll spell it Lanterne instead of Lantern. There. Yuh Happee? No margarine OR butter for you!
I am still Lanterne Rouge!
I am still last!
Hahahahahahahahahahaha(again)!
BGW,
I don't know French so I typed my comment into Google Translate. After Google Translate changed my comment to French it said something totally different from what I was trying to say.
I did say I was out of butter, but I forgot what else I was trying to say, so I have no comment about the rest of my comment.
I do like herb infused olive oil. Never have tried it with Lobster. Wonder if it would work instead of butter.
I do know olive oil makes a great moisturizer, so in all likelihood it would work great on Podium Girls. (You know what I am talking about, just to give their skin that healthy glow for the photographs effect.)
Still making the time cut, but just barely, I am as always
LANTERNE ROUGE!!!!!!
Nogo and BGW, what you two do with butter (clarified or not), margarine, and olive oil is your own disgusting business...until it appears on Vimeo or You Tube....
DFL
Sorry Anon 7:23pm......
I
Am
Lanterne
Rouge!
does this mean it's over?
sweeping
Okay.
I am no longer Lanterne Rouge.
I accept that.
I am now Guy Removing Barriers And Loading Them Onto A Flatbed.
So that's what I'm doing now.
Man, spectators sure do leave a lot of litter on the ground.
Most of that is Vito's mess. Except the banana power bar wrappers. He hates banana power bars for some reason.
It is over. WRM is back. So why are people still posting comments on this post?
Is the number 1048 significant to bicycles. Guess I will Google 1048 and bicycles and see what comes up.
Yes 1048 is significant to bicycles, believe it or not.
HB1048 was a bill in Virginia last year to make it safer for cyclist in that state.
HB 1048
Comment 1050.
Is 1050 significant to bicycles?
Yes it is. SRAM makes a cassette called the PG 1050 Cassette. Compatible with SRAM Red, SRAM Force, SRAM Rival and SRAM Apex
That cassette is *not* compatible with simplex derailleurs. I think there is some false advertising going on, but I can't pin it down.
If Vito really is a chimp, does he ride Sram Apex?
DNF
Screw them hills.
Then them Podium Girls
DNF
Only 147 more and we can have another page change podium.
Only 146 more.....
145 more.
I wonder if we got this comment section on this date to change pages again if there would be anyone to take advantage and claim podium once again?
One thing I have never actually seen is a Cat 6 race. It would actually be unusual to see two commuters on bicycles on the same day in my town.
Does anyone consider those dudes who ride wore out kids bikes, usually salmoning, commuters?
Most of the ones around here are dressed so poorly it is hard to image they even have a job to commute to.
.
.
"."
The meaning of "." is "period" or in vulgate English, the end!
So stop posting already. The rest of the world has gone on and you keep posting.
The Broom Wagon came through on September 19th. They missed one rider (me) who had a simple mechanical. My headtube came apart while I was clipped in and my tail landed on my back tire.
Ouch! I went to try to find some help and that Stupid Broom Wagon was no where to be found.
Now I am riding my bike back to wherever I must to get some help. It sure is hard to ride when I must ride slowly because my handlebars are loose and my coccyx still feels like a bull kicked me in the rear.
1065 The End
Seems appropriate.
I still haven't got any help nor have I found that stupid broom wagon. It has been days since this race ended and I am still trying to get home.
Anyone got anything to eat or anything to drink. Right about now, I would even settle on a mud puddle and would just about eat anything!
I saw a guy removing barriers and loading them onto a flatbed a couple of days ago but there has not been even one single car since then.
I tried to get a ride with him, but I could not catch up with this stupid broken headset!
Everyone told me to get a Chris King. I bought the best headset Chris King made, and look what happened. It would have been better to just bought the no name brand made in China, than this worthless one.
Dependency service or group failed to start
??????
Apparently no one is reading old comment sections lately.
No problem, I will not let it end until there is another page change podium.
If you happen to stumble on my rantings whatever they may be called. Feel free to post up. I will not let this end until someone posts comment 1200. Then there will be the opportunity for someone to post comment 1201, thus making one more podium.
1070
1071
1072
1073
1074
1075
1078
Oops, 1076 (Actually 1077)
Apparently this Idiot also has a problem counting!
1077. (Actually 1078, but I posted 1078 out of order. Had to go back and pick up 1076 and 1078.)
I said I was an idiot because I am posting where there is likely never to be anyone who sees my comments. But, apparently I also am of lower intelligence due to the fact that I can't even keep my numbers straight.
1079 (Actually Comment 1079.)
1080
1081
1082
1083
1084. Just posting numbers is as boring as possible. Therefore, I am going to attempt to find a significance for the next number as it relates to bicycles.
Might also be boring. Or enlightening. Or it is possible that the next number has no significance at all when it comes to bicycles. I do not know, but you will soon find out, after I google "1085" and "bicycle."
Aisi 1085 ball bearings, made from a common high carbon steel, are commonly a type of bearing used in bicycles.
Now you know. What use for that information you can come up with, I don't have a clue. I doubt I will ever have an opportunity to use that information in a comment in real life. Even if it ever comes up, it is most likely that I will forget what the number is anyway.
A Thule 1086 Traverse Roof Rack Fit Kit (AR5086)cost $94.50.
No link. If you want to see it just google it. I don't want to look like a spammer. I am higher on the intelligence meter than one of them.
I am just an Idiot who is posting comments it is likely no one will ever see, just so there will be a page change so there can be one more podium!
Idiot yes. Idiot definitely, but still not as big of an idiot as one of those spammers!
1087. Maybe 1088 will be real interesting. I am going to check it now.
1088/Cycling Guide Sperrins Tourism is about the most interesting thing about 1088 in relations to cycling.
That had to hurt
Ouch!
SRAM PC-1090 Chains are expensive.
$76 bucks for nothing but a chain?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Now half way finished with this page. This is comment one thousand one hundred.
OK. The truth is, posting the comment count by spelling it out is every bit as boring as just posting the number in numeric format.
1101 Comments on a bicycle blog is just ten comments shy of 1111 comments.
Jeebus Chraz!!!
First, I was Lanterne Rouge, smug with my lastishness, but I underestimated the staying power of the Snob's Commentariat. Then I switched to being GRBALTOAF and THAT didn't work. So Now I'm in the low 1100s as PDHFDWBTSOTR, or Pathetic Dude Hunting For Discarded Waterbottles By The Side Of The Road.
Now all of you just STOP!!!!!!
NEVER. I WILL NEVER QUIT!
OK, I plan to quit when I reach 1200 comments. I just want to have one more podium on this particular comment section.
Why, you ask?
My only answer is because I can.
Why, I ask?
Why?
?
This seems appropriate for comment 1104.
Click on my name, I am being too lazy to add the HTML tags, it is easier just to post the tag in the name.
@ PDHFDWBTSOTR,
When you retrieve all those discarded water bottles on the side of the road, make sure you wash them out. Laying in the gutters for this long after the event, they get embedded with grime and mycobacterial substances.
Don't want you to get sick.
P.S. I am not the blogger I linked to. The link is what I came up with when I tried to find a bicycle related photo labeled Anonymous. When I saw this one, it sure seemed appropriate for this blog, that is why I used it.
When you search for something like 1106 (for the number this comment will be) and bicycle, you never know what you will find.
The link under the name is one such find. I am still trying to figure it out.
Electric Bike Saddle #1107.
What in the world. Why would you want an electric bike saddle, and what is it supposed to do?
Something just looks wrong with this bicycle seat. It is hard for me to believe it is actually a Selle seat at that price.
This has got to be a knockoff.
Likely Cheap Knockoff Site (not the real thing.)
Only two comments away from the all "1" comment.
Woooo Whoooo!!
The 3 "1"s comment before the 4 "1"s comment.
Utah Code Title 41, Chapter 6a, Section 1111
According to this law it is illegal to race in Utah upon a highway unless it is approved and meets certain requirements.
Question for other commentors. Does this mean that Cat 6 racing is illegal in Utah?
When I searched for 1112 I found this. It is a gallery of old bicycle posters.
I found it real interesting. Not trying to sell these photos for the guy who made the gallery, but figured the other person still seeing if I have given up yet would probably appreciate it just as much as I did.
Flickr Bicycle Posters
1115st Yeah BEECHEZ!
1115st is really 1114nd LOSER!
Nogocyclist! With all due respect, those, "Comments deleted by author" may bolster the numbers, but don't exactly bring anything truly stupid, snarky, dorktastic, or plain ridiculous to this out-of-control quest. I know you can do better than that.
Come on now! Your turn to pull!
Why me?
I actually have nothing to say. The well is dry, I have nothing else to add!
I'll try to come up with something, but be forewarned, anything I can say after this will definitely not be worth reading.
OK, I will serve the purpose of the twitter snob.
How come almost everyone uses the stock backgrounds for twitter instead of curating something worthy of their readers time?
How come there are so many people on twitter who only post about once every week or two? Some don't post but a few times a year!
Stupid twitter users....... Umm, Uh, oh! I got to thinking about how often I post on twitter. I am not complaining about others, I am complaining about myself!
This is a comment to say I completely ran out of anything to say whatsoever.
This is the next comment after I ran out of anything to say.
I still don't have anything whatsoever to say.
I will not comment until I can think of something bike related to say that may or may not be worth saying.
Strike that. I think I will start posting dumb bicycle jokes. I am going to start with really dumb ones that are just plain awful.
Join in if you wish.
What is the name of the new local bike shop in town?
Buycycle, of course.
How do you repair a bike that breaks in two if you lose one of the halves?
That's simple you just make the half you still have into a unicycle, duh!
Since electric shifters are working so well on bicycles, we now need to put electric brakes on bikes.
All you need is a low voltage solenoid, a simple on off switch, and a battery. Then all you would need are the regular brakes that are probably already on the bike, sans the cables and the levers.
To save weight, make sure you put it on the front wheel.
Just in case that previous comment did not appear to be a joke, this would be the result.
A doberman and a pit bull were sitting on the porch. A cat 6 cyclist rides right in front of them
The doberman jumps off the porch with the pit bull right behind
The Cat 6 cyclist turns in time to see the pair of dogs bearing down on him like a pair of Stanley Steamers.
The cyclist throws his first water bottle at the doberman, misses, striking the pit bull square in the nose instead.
This infuriates the pit bull! It launches full speed and catches the Cat 6 by the cuff (actually the bottom rolled up to keep it out of the chain) of his skinny jeans.
The hipster, realizing he does not have a job, and therefore is not a real Cat 6 cyclist since he has no where in particular to go, comes to the realization that he is just dreaming.
Then the hipster comes to a stark realization that he is wide awake and actually riding his bike as the rumble strips wake him up....
The hipster let out a sigh of relief and said "Whew, I am sure glad that was only a dream" right as he felt the teeth of the dog sink into his ankle.
The doberman then asked the pit bull, "what does it taste like?"
The pit bull answered "It taste like chicken."
The doberman countered with "Yea, it kind of acted like a chicken too. Instead of throwing the other water bottle at us or just kicking us, it tried to run."
How much does a freewheel cost?
Too much, it is supposed to be free, duh!
Does a brake break when it brakes?
If a brake breaks it breaks, it does not brake.
Yes, this is a joke, but I have no idea why? That is the real joke.
2
3
4
5
7
8
9
10
11
12
50
49
48
47
46
45
44
43
42
41
40
39
38
37
35
34
33
32
31
30
29
27
26
25
23
22
21
Blackjack! Woo hoooo!!
Listing numbers is really boring.
Have they ever figured out the radio stations that just transmit random numbers 24/7 in South America.
You can hear them all over the Short Wave Radio Bands, but no one ever acts like they know what they are supposed to do.
Just in case you are wondering what in the world I am talking about.
Wiki on Number Stations. (Not bicycle related)
A guy on a bicycle was riding down a gravel road....
He was very worried about his tires, because they were 23mm wide racing tires...
About that time the cyclist hit a rock with a sharp edge
His tire blew out just like he was expecting. This cause his bike to veer to the side of the road...
The embankment was very steep, just over a grade 30, and looks to be over a mile to the bottom.
The cyclist braked as hard as he could using both hand brakes as well as skidding with his Vans. But to his chagrin, over the edge he went.
If 46 makes a Fred go Waaahooooo, the sound a cyclist makes at 146 sounds more like a primal roar than any type of sound of elation!
The cyclist remained upright during the ride until about half way down the hill when he remembered what he used to do on the BMX track....
Seeing a hump in the hill, he hit it, did a bunny hop and...
He caught air. No strike that. He caught big air! Really big air.
Do you have any idea how high your bike will launch off a jump face at 146mph?
Let's just say very high. Or in this case very low, due to the very steep downward grade.
The cyclist was still falling but now was over 70 feet away from the face of the hill
Mountain goats on the side watching
Bald eagle overhead watching
Behind the eagle, the turkey vulture is licking her li... beak.
The cyclist considers his options. If he hits right he should be able to stay on his bike,
Well, hopefully....
Then he remembers all this started because of a flat on a gravel road
It's funny how it seemed like it was a week ago that he hit the rock on the gravel road
2200. The next post will commence the podium for the next page.
I am done. I really am through wasting my time on a comment section where it is likely no one will ever see my great accomplishment.
All I can say is have fun, I am done! I have achieved my life's goal and now I can retire at last.
Twelve-O-Tee-First BEECHEZZZZZ!
Gave up on trying to be lastest of the last. Now I'm trying to be the first(th) of first(th).
On to 1300!!!!
Lets form a breakaway!!!!
KNEEL BEFORE ZOD.
So, this is where all the good stuff happens.
New York Fucken City is now Disney City.
Everyone's so safe and happy.
But it can't last forever.
The hookers will roam
the streets again.
So.....I'm kneeling.....what does ZOD do now?
I'm not afraid of this...
I'm back...
I work evenings
I've had a lot of Diet Coke today.
I can pull on dat D.C.
I need to wind down with a little typing practice.
It's a win-win thing.
Post a Comment