Friday, September 2, 2011

BSNYC Friday Foot Quiz! (And Away-Going Announcement)

Monday, September 19th is a very special day. Why? Because that will be the date of my next blog post!

Yes, that's right, circumstances require that as of today I take temporary leave of this blog until Monday, September 19th, at which point I will return with regular updates. This leave has been in the offing for quite some time, so don't act all surprised about it, even though I haven't mentioned a thing about it on this blog until just now. Also, I won't bore you with what I'll be doing during my leave, though I can confirm that I will not be doing any of the following:

--Going to Interbike
--Going to Eurobike
--Going to the Vuelta a EspaƱa
--Going to Rock and Roll Fantasy Camp™
--Getting an adult Bar Mitzvah

In my absence, I suggest that you follow my Twittering account just in case I have important news to relate, such as my consumption and enjoyment of a particularly tasty brand of corn chip that I think you might also like to try. (Where's that check, Doritos people?) And speaking of Twitter, a fellow Tweeterer recently alerted me to the existence of this:


It would appear that someone is trying to achieve a sort of arch McSweeney's-meets-Cycle-Chic effect by combining photos of models on bicycles with prose like this:

When piloting your velocipede it is imperative that you consider prudence, modesty, and decorum at all times, lest you be sanctioned by local law-keepers for improper attire. For, you see, high moral conduct is the chief concern of our metropolitan constabulary, and young women on bicycles must bear in mind the moral weakness of pedestrians as they navigate our sin-besotted conurbation.

In other words, don't ride with your ass crack showing.

As for the so-called "Brooklyn Magazine" itself, I had never come across it before, but the following video they've produced is a pretty good summation of the current state of affairs:

Brooklyn Magazine Promo from Louis Gruber on Vimeo.

Yes, Brooklyn does have many faces, and they make you want to grab them by their patterned scarves and shout horrible, horrible things into them.

In any event, pending my return, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll feel inexplicably tingly, and if you're wrong you'll hear a song.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and I look forward to "seeing" you when I return on September 19th.


--Wildcat Rocking Chair


(You can't tell from the picture, but it's pretty wild.)





1) The speed at which a retrogrouch goes "Woo hoo!" is:






(Off to a foffing good start.)

2) There is only one Dmitry Fofonov.

--True
--False





“But with the miles, the pain from the hole in my perineum got stronger."

3) Who said this?





4) This $5,500 titanium and belt-driven commuter:








5) Do police officers hate cyclists?

--Yes
--No




6) To this day, nothing gets attention in Williamsburg like a nice set of:






7) Hooray! It's ________:





***Special Health-Themed Bonus Question!***

In addition to exposing the dangers of excessive groin and ass use, this graphic also quantifies the importance of:



2,023 comments:

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Anonymous said...

TOP SHELF!!!

Anonymous said...

oh, its me again ,sorry about that

wp said...

just call me wheelshucker,
suckers.

wp

wp said...

what's this about pissing in a cup? i'm the most tested blogger commentariast ever.

A very Minor Poet said...

Great shuckin, wp

I need a shorter name.

skink said...

Sunicorn,
Why pamper life's complexities
when the leather
runs smooth
on the Brooks bicycle saddle?

Nogocyclist said...

Congratulations wp. It's your turn to pull us to the next page change.

Wow, the next page change would be at 1001. Guess that would make about 100 real comments and 900 comments just to reach another chance for a podium.

Guess that is what was bound to happen since Wildcat Rock Machine was gone for so long.....

The Cat Whisperer said...

I need my fix! Get back here Snob.

screaming skull said...

Bottom bracket!

Anonymous said...

He's in Vegas

Anonymous said...

A town in Manitoba

Anonymous said...

He's at a ball game

Nogocyclist said...

Top tube?

Don't think that one has been mentioned yet

Nogocyclist said...

bar pad

Anonymous said...

Saddle bag

Anonymous said...

frame pump

Nogocyclist said...

OK, taking things back about half a century.

Clothes pin (to hold the baseball card.)

I guess that would be a bike part, at least to some?

Anonymous said...

the twirly things on the brakes that I never use

Nogocyclist said...

Number Plate

Nogocyclist said...

Air forks

wishiwasmerckx said...

Jebezzus, you guys have a lot of time on your hands.

Ghost of Tyrone, your mastery of Phil and Paul-isms is truly deep and impressive, although I am not sure that I saw any reference to anybody turning themselves inside out or accidentally turning into the carpark...

Buttted said...

tubing decal

Nogocyclist said...

Chain guard

Fletch said...

ball bearings

Nogocyclist said...

lizard skin (don't have a clue what its regular name is, by the way.)

Sean Kelly said...

toe clips

Jeebus said...

Hey, it's Jeebus, OK

Nogocyclist said...

Cranks

Anonymous said...

Bullets!

Nogocyclist said...

spacers

Anonymous said...

Flags!

Nogocyclist said...

seat bolts

Anonymous said...

Light Saber.

Anonymous said...

Front Basket

Nogocyclist said...

battery pack

Anonymous said...

Easel, in the basket

Nogocyclist said...

knobbies

Nogocyclist said...

Training wheels

wp said...

hey thanks, (raises hands in victory)

i'll be back after a while. these here-the ones i just officially requested on the run up to the finish-are _really_ fresh and something must be done about that.

then, sure i'll come back and take a pull. first things wp1st!

Nogocyclist said...

See someone mentioned bullets. I do live in the south, so I guess it is proper to say a bicycle part would include a Model 1911....

wp said...

podium gurls

Anonymous said...

'83 where I live.

Nogocyclist said...

Only 157 more comments needed to reach the millenium stage in the comment section.

Anonymous said...

BTW about 100 comments ago:

they go OVER the straps.
And that all I'm going to say about that!

Nogocyclist said...

Yea, down here I guess it would be more proper to say a 30-06 model 742.

Anonymous said...

WP:

To the Victor go the Spoils. Enjoy

Nogocyclist said...

That or an 870.

Anonymous said...

Damn, forgot the wheel magnet & pickup.

Anonymous said...

I carry a 30-40 Kraig and NO ONE bothers me, not even the cops. Helluva time stayin upright though, if I have to use it.

bikesgonewild said...

...i heard that ghostoftyrone & nogocyclist found an ounce of crank (excuse me - that's funky-ass methamphetamines for you younger kids) at the rest stop...i wonder what they did with it ???...

Anonymous said...

train's leaving for the 9:00

Anonymous said...

855

Anonymous said...

856

Anonymous said...

857

Anonymous said...

858

bike parts be damned said...

859

Anonymous said...

860

Anonymous said...

861

Nogocyclist said...

BGW, I don't need to use a schedule I. I have enough prescriptions for schedule II's I have not even filled that I could feel no pain if that was my desire.

For some reason all my doctors think if you are disabled, you need painkillers.

Anonymous said...

just come on along...

Anonymous said...

864

Anonymous said...

is it too early to mention

A Thousand Points of Light?

Anonymous said...

866

Anonymous said...

867

Anonymous said...

i'm fine

Anonymous said...

869

Anonymous said...

870
easy pace still , no crowding

Anonymous said...

tacos!

Anonymous said...

Podium Girls!

Anonymous said...

873

Anonymous said...

874

Anonymous said...

875

Anonymous said...

876

startin to shift around a bit said...

877

Anonymous said...

lokking back a little

Anonymous said...

878

Anonymous said...

880

pickin it up said...

881

Anonymous said...

882

Anonymous said...

883

OK, DASH! said...

884

Nogocyclist said...

To keep from messing up the count up, I shall countdown.

1000

Anonymous said...

885

Nogocyclist said...

999

Anonymous said...

lactic

Anonymous said...

acid

Nogocyclist said...

998

Anonymous said...

is

Nogocyclist said...

997

Anonymous said...

my

Anonymous said...

my

Nogocyclist said...

996

Anonymous said...

my

Nogocyclist said...

995

Nogocyclist said...

994

Anonymous said...

899

Nogocyclist said...

993

Nogocyclist said...

992

Nogocyclist said...

991

Nogocyclist said...

990

Nogocyclist said...

989

Nogocyclist said...

988

Nogocyclist said...

987

Nogocyclist said...

986

Nogocyclist said...

985

Nogocyclist said...

984

Nogocyclist said...

983

Nogocyclist said...

982

Nogocyclist said...

981

Nogocyclist said...

980

Anonymous said...

Now that's fucked up

Nogocyclist said...

Enough of that. Let me brainstorm a little and figure out something else to do. That number thing is even boring me, and I am one of the ones doing it.

Hosed... said...

I think I deserve a podium girl here!

Do it right this time... said...

917

wp said...

podium gurls good...

not so fresh.

wp said...

monet does the podium count?

warped yo.

919 fo sho

Nogocyclist said...

I wonder if Wildcat Rock Machine has his Blogger account set up so it sends him a message every time someone posts a comment.

If he does, after tomorrow, it is likely he will change it.

Getting hundreds of emails saying Another commentator has posted a reply on your blog. Commenter said "917", then "918" ....

That would be worse than getting the normal 20 or 30 spam comments that most people get.

Nogocyclist said...

921

Another email from Blogger.
Vito must be tired of reading all this posting from the peloton!

wp said...

in this South, if i'm on my bike it is north american armed.

for rabid dogs and sech.

Anonymous said...

923

A very Minor Poet said said...

Well, back to Seinfeld
and such.
I'm missing the podium girls
too much,
to go on pretending with these
squirrels.

wp said...

When snobstrong left us here all alonesome oh so many weeks or even months ago, what was it, July?; did you even once think just once whilst shaving or shearing sheep-whatever you do with those clippers- that indeed there existed the possibility in this plane or our existence, here as Canada's loincloth, of a chance that there would be compiled right here in our own bloggeries one-frikkin-thousand comments posted?

Huh? didja?

no you didn't.

Congratulations to US ALL!

We all get certificates of appreciation too. Here's how it works: print 8x10 copy of the snobbie seal, scrawl our final number (1,xxx-ish) and the date upon it, add any of your personal achievement posts (123,420,666 etc-your choice) numbers, podium winners past gold, silver, or bronze stars onto certificate.

bonus points for printing on recycled cotton paper with watermark.

Southern Rock Machine

certified said...

926

Anonymous said...

Nine
Hundred
Twenty
Seven

nine _hundred_ that is...with a nine

hundred.

beginning again? said...

Hey Ya'll, what if the counter only has three digits?!

Will it roll over?

simple minds want to know

wp

Anonymous said...

when do they make the donuts?

testing the waters said said...

OK, look, how many are here?
No cheating or alias's, speak up.
Cuz if there's too many I might not win
so I'm going to bed, now.

Blog Drafter said...

OK, 931

Blog Drafter said...

forgot to mention the topo map I have taped to my handlebars of the three square miles around my house.

Blog Drafter said...

for the bike parts, that is

Blog Drafter said...

OK, look NO COUNTING BACKWARDS!

Blog Drafter said...

NEW RULE...NO COUNTING BACKWARDS!!

Blog Drafter said...

936

Blog Drafter said...

cause Jeebus, Lob that was F**ked up

Blog Drafter said...

Jeebus...now there's a funny name

Blog Drafter said...

Lob...I wonder if there's a tennis connection?

Blog Drafter said...

Lob, Lob, Lob

Blog Drafter said...

941

Blog Drafter said...

Anybody out there? C'mon fess up.

Blog Drafter said...

nine forty three

Blog Drafter said...

nine forty four

Blog Drafter said...

I suppose a religious tennis match would have a lot of lobbing going on.

Blog Drafter said...

Oops, Lobbing, sorry.

Blog Drafter said...

OK, 947

Blog Drafter said...

This could go either way...

Blog Drafter said...

Total Snob stardom, in a "I was there that day" sense

Blog Drafter said...

Or Epic Fail if someone sneaks up behind me.

Blog Drafter said...

I know you're out there...

Blog Drafter said...

I've known it for a long time...

Blog Drafter said...

953

Blog Drafter said...

I wonder if that page will turn over?

Blog Drafter said...

Jeebus, all this work for a network error!

Blog Drafter said...

Jeebus, now there's a funny name for ya

Blog Drafter said...

Please Jeebus, I want world peace and the ability to see the 1001st comment on this blog, please.

Blog Drafter said...

niner fifty seven, over

Blog Drafter said...

n as in nought

Blog Drafter said...

I as in me.

Blog Drafter said...

Oh, never mind.

Blog Drafter said...

niner sixty 1

Blog Drafter said...

niner sixty deux

Blog Drafter said...

not sure I spelled that right...

Blog Drafter said...

I've always been punctual and punctuational

Blog Drafter said...

How about you...what are your strong points?

Blog Drafter said...

'Cause I know you're out there!

Blog Drafter said...

Lurking, lurking

Blog Drafter said...

I'll pause at 969

Blog Drafter said...

970

Blog Drafter said...

OK, a short pause...

Blog Drafter said...

I wonder if Lob, Jeebus, or Snob will recognize my efforts?

Blog Drafter said...

This late night race

Blog Drafter said...

to an arbitrary number plucked from the blogosphere.

Blog Drafter said...

Oh, I know it doesn't really exist.

Blog Drafter said...

The blogosphere...silly word.

Nogocyclist said...

25 more to the next millenium?

Blog Drafter said...

But Lob exists, and Jeebus, and Snob

Blog Drafter said...

Oh yeah, 979

Blog Drafter said...

Now, if you're out there, please speak up...

Nogocyclist said...

What ever happened to the Podium Girl that was holding Lob up so his photo could be taken?

Blog Drafter said...

cus we're at 981

Blog Drafter said...

and I say we, because

Blog Drafter said...

I know you're out there.

Blog Drafter said...

I saw what happened to that other poster today.

Nogocyclist said...

I am not out here. My Laptop is on Autopost.

Blog Drafter said...

It was ghostly what happened...

Blog Drafter said...

Hey, NO COUNTING BACKWARDS!

Blog Drafter said...

9...8...9

Blog Drafter said...

on cat paws, 990

Nogocyclist said...

If you post comments, and your blog name is Blog Drafter, are you comments actually "Comments" or are they only drafts?

Blog Drafter said...

shhh, go to sleep, it's nothing...

Blog Drafter said...

993

Nogocyclist said...

Less than ten....Humm

1000 is going to happen!

Blog Drafter said...

too close, I'ma goin...

Blog Drafter said...

996

Blog Drafter said...

997

Nogocyclist said...

Post like it was 1..."999".

Blog Drafter said...

998

Blog Drafter said...

999

Nogocyclist said...

999 I want the last in this millinium.

Blog Drafter said...

and the winner is:

Blog Drafter said...

damn!

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