Yes, that's right, circumstances require that as of today I take temporary leave of this blog until Monday, September 19th, at which point I will return with regular updates. This leave has been in the offing for quite some time, so don't act all surprised about it, even though I haven't mentioned a thing about it on this blog until just now. Also, I won't bore you with what I'll be doing during my leave, though I can confirm that I will not be doing any of the following:
--Going to Interbike
--Going to Eurobike
--Going to the Vuelta a EspaƱa
--Going to Rock and Roll Fantasy Camp™
--Getting an adult Bar Mitzvah
In my absence, I suggest that you follow my Twittering account just in case I have important news to relate, such as my consumption and enjoyment of a particularly tasty brand of corn chip that I think you might also like to try. (Where's that check, Doritos people?) And speaking of Twitter, a fellow Tweeterer recently alerted me to the existence of this:
It would appear that someone is trying to achieve a sort of arch McSweeney's-meets-Cycle-Chic effect by combining photos of models on bicycles with prose like this:
When piloting your velocipede it is imperative that you consider prudence, modesty, and decorum at all times, lest you be sanctioned by local law-keepers for improper attire. For, you see, high moral conduct is the chief concern of our metropolitan constabulary, and young women on bicycles must bear in mind the moral weakness of pedestrians as they navigate our sin-besotted conurbation.
In other words, don't ride with your ass crack showing.
In other words, don't ride with your ass crack showing.
As for the so-called "Brooklyn Magazine" itself, I had never come across it before, but the following video they've produced is a pretty good summation of the current state of affairs:
Brooklyn Magazine Promo from Louis Gruber on Vimeo.
Yes, Brooklyn does have many faces, and they make you want to grab them by their patterned scarves and shout horrible, horrible things into them.In any event, pending my return, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll feel inexplicably tingly, and if you're wrong you'll hear a song.
Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and I look forward to "seeing" you when I return on September 19th.
1) The speed at which a retrogrouch goes "Woo hoo!" is:
--46mph
--46kph
--27mph
(Off to a foffing good start.)
2) There is only one Dmitry Fofonov.
--True
--False
“But with the miles, the pain from the hole in my perineum got stronger."
3) Who said this?
4) This $5,500 titanium and belt-driven commuter:
5) Do police officers hate cyclists?
--Yes
--No
6) To this day, nothing gets attention in Williamsburg like a nice set of:
7) Hooray! It's ________:
--Helmets
--Helments
2,023 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 1201 – 1400 of 2023 Newer› Newest»I practice typing, spelling, and punctuation.
I drag someone else to the line.
I did that a couple times in the original contests.
I'm used to it by now, c'mon along.
I'm not going to cheat.
No numbers.
No periods.
Jus typin.
Jus typin
Can't think of a single joke.
One thousand two hundred twenty three.
No Anonymous posting either.
Although this name is the same thing as Anonymous, I know that.
I'm not new to these Internets.
Anybody out there?
No, well then 1228 is all mine.
I like to type.
As long as the sentences are short, that is.
Seventy short comments to go.
You know, I thought I could do this.
But I'm already having doubts.
Hey, how 'bout them Yankees?
(I realize that may have been uncalled for.)
I've never won a bicycling contest before.
Whoops, I meant "bicycle cycling" contest.
Getting close to half-way.
I'm glad I have a quiet keyboard.
And I recently cut my nails as well.
Don't want to wake up anybody up.
Shhh!
Let's see, 1243.
And 1244.
I put an "And" in there so that it qualifies.
Hmm, an "And" or a "And"?
Twelve hundred and forty seven.
This is going faster than I thought it would.
Half way almost.
I DO NOT live in NYC.
One thing, I wish Snob would stop with that pic of the lady on the recumbent.
There's lots better pics out there.
I sometimes wonder what would happen...
if Babe caught up to Snob, you know, royalties and all that.
I doubt it was a truly public picture, it looks staged to me.
Hey, just sayin'
I hear that someone banned "hey, just sayin." as being too banal and all.
Times change, they sure do.
Well, well, 1259, hello to you.
My typing is getting worse here.
Worser and worser.
AT 1262!!!!
I'm not a very good typist actually.
My eyes are still mostly tethered to the keyboard.
Who cares, right? Right!
One's typing skills are rarely mentioned in public.
Once, I was on a bike ride (this is not a joke)...
on a local bike trail.
There's a notorious corner
that locals call "hey, watch out for shit coming around that corner" corner.
Or something to that effect.
Anyway, as I was approaching that corner this day,
which was a Sunday (WARNING!)
I hear this loud Fred coming around this corner.
(This corner is the closest thing to a blind corner you can get without being totally blind.)
Oh, yeah, 1276.
I hear this Fred saying, "yeah, it was right here."
I sat up and tensed, shit!
And Fred, mid-sentence about someone else's accident at that corner blitzes into view.
One quarter second after I get out of the way.
And he smacks right into the fence right behind me.
FREDS!
Oh yeah, at 1283, let me just say that I am not a Fred.
No sir. NOT. A. FRED.
Sometimes my wife thinks I ride with a guy named Fred.
Speaking of wich...
Damn, spelled that wrong.
Which...
Hmm, 1289
I believe its time to form a train...
Time, and race miles have zipped by...
I'll have to be sure to spell "Palmares" right.
One thousand two hundred ninety two.
Oops, got that wrong, one thousand two hundred and ninety four...
ninety five...
This will never show up on my resumƩ, I hope.
Wait for it...
Oh, so sleepy all of a sudden.
And the winner is:
turteen hunnid! i thought i said KNEEL BEFORE ZOD.
Blog Drafter, you are an inspiration. In Fear of Zod, get back up on your feet. I wasn't being serious. Everybody else, last one to fourteen's a bag of rats.
It's not a widely known fact, but never the less a fact, that KNEEL BEFORE ZOD was once first in a bsny comments race. remember? that time it was down? switched to wordpress? he smartly seized the initiative and called first in the previous day's post's comment section? remember that?
Oh no, it's not over?
What can I say!
Last!!
This isn't happening. Still, something's happening.
I China during a bicycle race, a helicopter blew a road sign banner ad lose. This caused a professional cyclist involved in the race to wreak.
Not only are the cars and trucks after us, now aircraft are also!
The link to the crash caused by a helicopter at the Tour of Beijing.
Tour of Beijing 2011-Stage 3 - Final km's (incl. Yannick Eijssen crash)
Shit the bed! 1300 comments!
Not, Amen.
AHEM!
There will be sprints.
...later
I will pause at 1314.
OK, chores done.
Insert silly comment here________
I believe I will
curate a blogular
comment here.
Of a minimalist nature:
1320!
1321
1322
Thirteen and a quarter.
I've been thinking a lot about Middle Earth today.
And I don't know why.
Middle Earth, nothing Minimalist about that.
Why do French philosophers have all the cool names?
1329
1330
Not quite feelin it here.
Legs are a little dead from last night.
I thought of a little rhyme last night.
"Yes, your hirsuteness"
"Yes, your heinous."
"Gee, that seatpost hurts."
"Stuck up my an..."
I can't say that word.
I can't even type it.
Just thinking of old Tom B. there.
That had to have hurt, with it being so hot and all.
Well, 1342
1342
And 1343.
And 2 and 3 and go!
Ha, a musical reference.
Best way to sprint is to craft a musical comment on the way to the line.
A curitanical blogular note.
Uh, C Flat maybe.
No, Sharp. Yes, Sharp for sure.
Damn, I could have
split that comment up
like this one.
Who is this ZOD character?
Is there a disturbance in LOB's force field here.
Perhaps ZOD is LOB's archangel.
Or vise versa.
Perhaps ZOD stands guard in front of LOB's force field and makes people kneel, as that guy said.
Oh, a guy named Anonymous.
He or she needs a cute name, Like Blog Drafter or something like that.
I picked up that name in the Comments a couple weeks ago.
If you recall, there was that person trying to sound smart.
And failing at it.
Accusing Snob of something, I can't quite remember what.
Or maybe he was accusing the commentators of drafting Snob.
Or accusing Snob of drafting Society or something.
Anyway, it sounded sort of Artisanal.
So I said to myself, I need a moniker here, I'll use that.
So there's a little insight.
Into nothing.
Wow, 1370, time does fly.
I'm actually ahead of last night's pace.
I will pause for comments by other commenters who might be here.
at 1374.
OK, it was a short pause.
..76
..77
..78
I believe two ellipses is correct here.
To replace two numbers.
Like this:
..82
Or it could be that three is correct, like this:
...84
Hmm, can't decide.
Need. Copy. Editor.
1387
One thousand three hundred and eighty eight!
Who ever thought
it would come to this.
OK, 1390
Oops, hit the Anon button.
Crazy things happen in these sprints...
The Missile better drive straight today...
cause here we go!
My man's losing it up front!
I'm going around!
Sprint in dem gears!
Cry dem tears!
1400!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for the Jens-like domestiquing Blog Drafter!
1401 PODIYUMMMM!!
I fear ZOD no more!!!
Blog Drafter: Selflessly curating the artisanal leadout!! You, Sir or Ma'am, deserve a Pro-Tour comtract with the team of your choice! Tank-Yu!!!
Blog Drafter keep up the good work.
Congratulations GUOL, TFF.
Blog Drafter, the hours of your posting bring up a question. Why are you posting something of such importance at such a time as then?
The possibilities include, (1) you have a job where you just have to be there and you are doing it because you are bored.
(2) You could be on a mind altering substance and it leads you to such behavior.
(3) When you post is not actually at the time stated, due to your being in another time zone. It just appears you are up real late taking your pull.
(4) You are just weird enough to do it. (Would make you too much like me.)
Maybe someone can come up with some more interesting possibilities and post them singularly to make a new run up to 1600.
It is because you are being held hostage by Vito. WRM's helper monkey wants the comments to set a record for the most Blogspot comments for a day and he will not realise you until they do.
Blog Drafter has signed up for a drug trial. The new drug will be approved, but it will have one real interesting side effect.
Use will cause people to spend hours typing comments when they have absolutely nothing to say on various blogs all over the Internet, just because of the effects of the drug.
What is the new drug for, you ask?
Erectile dysfunction.
In the future when Recumbabe says "Honey come to bed, I ..."
You will answer, "Hold on I just to make one more comment."
Sorry, no edit option here.
Correction:
In the future when Recumbabe says "Honey come to bed, I ..."
You will answer, "Hold on I just want to make one more comment."
KNEEL BEFORE ZOD.
Do we HAVE to kneel before Zod? I mean, look, there's broken glass all over the ground and fresh dog poo, fer chrissake! Can't we just WAVE HEARTILY BEFORE ZOD and skip the kneeling thing? Huh?
I will throw a short quiz out here, in the Snobular style:
ZOD is:
1. LOB's "Cabana Boy"
2.Vitto's "Cage Minder"
3. Mitt Romney's Finance Manager.
4. Jebus' stunt double.
Now, don't bother me, I'm at work.
OK, WooHoo, there's a party downstairs.
And we're going.
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