BSNYC Friday Funquats!

As we march across the orange shag carpet of time as inexorably as a tortoise "portaging" a kitty cat, we grow ever closer to the weekend. Before it "drops" and we all decamp to our respective chalets, retreats, and island getaways, I'd like to remind you of a few things. Firstly, I have no less than two BRAs (or Book-Related Appearances) coming up in the next few weeks:

The first of these BRAs will take place at Cyclesport Bike Shop in Park Ridge, NJ on Saturday, October 23rd at 4:30pm. Apparently, Cyclesport is also the "world's first Serotta dealer," which means you can expect a large number of dentists to be browsing the aisles and bringing their bikes in for simple flat repair. So, even if you're not interested in seeing my BRA, you should probably come anyway because it's going to be a great opportunity to try to schnorr some free dental work. (I've already stopped brushing and flossing in anticipation.)

Then, on Saturday, October 30th, at 2:00pm, I'll be BRAppearing at the Philly Bike Expo which is in Philadelphia, PA. Philadelphia is the city of brotherly love, the Liberty Bell, and fictional pugilist Rocky Balboa--but not of Philadelphia Cream Cheese, which is apparently made elsewhere. Trust me, I was disappointed, too--in fact I was so mad when I found out that I almost cancelled my BRA, since I had hoped there was going to be a cream cheese-themed amusement park in Philadelphia along the lines of Hershey Park.

Secondly, I'd also like to remind you that the First Annual (even though there will probably never be one again) BSNYC/RTMS Cockpit of the Year Award (or "Cockie") deadline for submissions is midnight tonight--and for simplicity's sake let's call it midnight Eastern Standard Time, since all the other midnights are either too early or too late. So, if you don't submit your "Cockie" photo in accordance with the contest rules by that time you will not be eligible to win the world's best coffee. Actually, even if you do submit your entry on time and in accordance with the contest rules, you won't be eligible to win the world's best coffee--you'll be eligible to win BSNYC/RTMS coffee courtesy of my sponsor the Just Coffee Cooperative, and while I can assure you it's delicious I'm also sure there's better coffee out there somewhere. In fact, it's entirely possible that Just Coffee sells it.

There are also some amazing cockpits out there, like this one in Atlanta complete with a handlebar-mounted pistol:

This variation on the "classic" bar end configuration:

This canine-themed cockpit from Minneapolis:

And this drop bar mountain bike conversion via Back Alley Bikes:

Which the sender summarized far better than I ever could:

While this unusual setup lacks the joi d'vivre of the "outsider" artists typically associated with cockpit collages, the implied professionalism in the execution only adds weight to this work. It is clearly the steady hand of a professional that so masterfully executed these cable and housing swaps. The wrapping of the handlebar tape alone clearly demonstrates that this cannot be the work of a mere amateur. Most of all, it's the ribbon "lock" that truly ties this piece together. Interpretations are always in the eye of the beholder, but I feel that the themes of freedom and confusion are impossible to ignore. Enjoy.

He makes a compelling case.

In the meantime, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll know, and if you're wrong you'll take a little ride in sunny France.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and stay "cockie."

--BSNYC/RTMS

1) Julian Dean of Garmin-Transitions has revealed that he will contest:

--The Giro di Lombardia

--The 2011 Tour de France green jersey competition

--The 2011 Amgen Tour of California general classification

--The Single Speed World Championships in Rotura, New Zealand

(Boo! Bamboo and crabon? Must be "Cyclocross 2.0!")

2) A group of environmentally-minded cyclists have successfully petitioned the organizers of Portland's Cross Crusade race series to institute a separate "sustainable and organic frame materials" field.

--True

--False

3) This maneuver is known as:

--"The Copenhagen U-Turn"

--"The Beautiful Godzilla Rollback"

--"The Cycle Chic Sneak"

--"The Puss in Boots"

(Nice lid, Ahab.)

4) Designers will never abandon their futile quest to design the perfect "helmet hat," the Great White Whale of the "bike culture:"

--True

--False

5) "Mystery shiny objects" spotted "floating over Manhattan" recently were:

--UFOs

--Helicopters

--Mass hallucinations
--Trackstanding "hipsters"

(Becoming the sharpest fixed-gear tool in the drawer requires dedication, colorway coordination, and intense soundtrack "curation.")

6) How do "hipsters" motorpace?

--In "hoodies"
--Behind Land Rovers
--Poorly and self-indulgently, like they do everything else
--All of the above

("Seat is Murder")

7) "Investment opportunity of a lifetime!" This Craigslist Schwinn was once:

--Owned by a member of The Cure

--Borrowed by Nick Cave
--Ridden by a member of The Smiths
--Defecated on by GG Allin

***Special Advanced Messengineering Degree-Themed Bonus Question***

Messengers ride in backwards circles in order to turn back time.

--True

--False