SEE!
My PowerPoint presentation.
HEAR!
Me narrate my PowerPoint presentation.
SMELL!
The sweet, transportive fragrance of Rapha unguents.
WIN!
Small quantities of fabulous crap.
By the way, if you're wondering how I'll be getting to Philadelphia, I will of course be taking the Wagon Queen Family Truckster. In fact, I've already embarked, and here's some exciting footage of my journey which a fellow road user captured on amateur video:
I know they say the driver was a woman, but I always wear my driving wig when I car-salmon.
In other news, the electronic votes are virtually in, and it gives me great pleasure to declare the podium of the First (and Last Annual) Etcetera and So Forth Cockpit of the "Cockie" Compecockie:
So congratulations to "Antlers Sur L'Herbe":
The eternally-vexing "???:"
And of course the winner and therefore the most "flambullient" cockpit of all time, "Jacob's Ladder:"
As you can see above, the difference between first and second was incredibly close, but working in the winner's favorite was the fact that it had already won the Sheldon Brown Memorial Biplanar Cockpit Award, thus establishing it as the sentimental favorite.
I have not notified any of the winners yet, though I will be in touch in due course to arrange for delivery of your savory and delicious BSNYC/RTMS Coffee, courtesy of the Just Coffee Cooperative.
And so endeth the BSNYC/RTMS Cockpit of the Whatever Awards, not with a bang, but with a wimple:
Expect those Rapha bespoke cycling wimples to "drop" sometime in 2011.
Now, without further a-duh, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right then cheer and punch your neighbor, and if you're wrong you'll see more triathlete remounts.
Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and hope to see you at the Philly Bike Expo.
--BSNYC/Artie M. Ess
1. How is the NYPD coping with the problem of police cars parked in the bike lanes?
--Issuing summonses to the offending officers
--Encouraging cyclists to call 311
--Briefing officers about bicycle safety
--Ticketing the cyclists who are forced to ride around them
2. In New York City, children on training wheels can:
--Ride on the sidewalk
--Bring their bikes to school
--Attend special neighborhood bike safety classes
--Get sued
3. Holding your bike above your head is a good example of a "doucheclamation point."
--True
--False
4. Why are these riders throwing their bikes into the water?
--They are engaged in a bike-hurling competition
--They are Christians and are baptizing them
--They are racing old-timey cyclocross
--They are discarding them because they are made by Specialized
5. Fill in the blank: "Tarck" bikes are out, _____ are in.
--Cyclocross bikes
--Vintage road bikes
--Randonneur bikes
--Hybrid bikes
6. In the above photograph, the clover is the:
--Colnago logo
--Pinarello logo
--Irish Spring logo
--Pubes
7. The L train remains the best place in New York City to see aging hipsters.
--True
--False
***Special Fixed-Gear-Themed Bonus Question***
According to the owner, this is:
--"probably the most outragous fix gear bike ever made in Australia"
--"probably the hotest custom ever to come out of Canada"
--"definately the sickest fixie on Craigslist"
--"vertically still, laterally compliant, and diagonally ridiculous"
77 comments:
Firsty!
podium
Podium's full!
::Breakdances::
Still gettin' high off the COCKIES. Must settle down for quiz ownage.
I got nothing
I need a new cockpit!
could you get some follow cam footage of the winning cockie ? and perhaps of the hug antlers riding across the manahatta bridge too
I died a little watching that triathlon video.
I videoed, I waved. I did this I did that...
...I didn't get the plate number.
I'm kind of a moron.
100%! Plus I can see all those guys on the podium
Triathletes. haha
Safe travels BSNYC. When are you coming down south?
So far, I think NYC is winning the Most Anti- Bicycle City Award- Toronto, ya gotta work harder! Maybe start killing 'em.
In the top 15?
The rightful owner astride his trusty steed, Antlers Sur L'Herbe can be viewed in this Bozeman Daily Chronicle photo.
I could only imagine the missed connections should Elvis Himself (Costello that is) ever grace the L train.
EASY QWIZ
shoegazing
Just saw an online advertisement for jeans using the term "artisanal denim offerings...".
Great Lobster save us!
Top 20?
top20eel?
"but working in the winner's favorite"
Favor me with a correction.
Snob, you should hold a rally to restore sa-meh-ty.
It won't really be anywhere or require you to do anything different. Praise be Lob.
nice find samh
"outragous" in the way that people in the 1800s thought a platypus was "outragous"...
have a good weekend yall
Okay, seeing the tri video made it worth missing the bonus question.
Thanks, ant1, but it wasn't really a "find". I took the Antlers Sur L'Herbe photo and provided the newspaper reporter info on how to find the bicycle's owner. ; )
I like the old-timey cross vid. That's racin. I'm not sayin anything about the tri-guys. Maybe Frilly can explain that?
"diagonally ridiculous"
love it!
not sure what was worse the stupid red hill footage or the music.
Is car-salmon like when salmon spawn? only they drive a car instead of swimming?
Is car-salmon like when salmon spawn? only they drive a car instead of swimming?
Snobbers, loved the Hell of the Northumberland video!
"He used to run the Co-op cheese counter in Wallsend"
"That's the referee from Stanley who used to train backwards till he got run ovah".
Thems is a smile and a little punch to the heart for me, thank you.
I don't know...maybe it was a really tough swim, it looks like it may have been chilly that day judging by the spectators. Or perhaps its just one of those things that defy explanation.
You make my chamois cream!
aced the test... i'd love to test ride jacob's ladder..
In a huge political surprise,<a href="http://i634.photobucket.com/albums/uu65/commiecanuk/robFord.jpg>Mayor Rob Ford now embraces bikes and joins Lampre for the 2011 Giro.</a>
Meh.
The right link.
or for 2,011 gyros, whichever comes first
Hope you have phun in Philly. Happy Halloweenie!
Snob you're welcome to Tallahassee any time.
Not every triathlete had a problem mounting their bike though. http://results.active.com/pages/searchform.jsp?rsID=88597
Bangtail -
Almost...car salmon are like bike salmon only they drive a car instead of ride a bike.
Every question right first time! Yay i can have a good weekend now!
HAIL CSZR
-P.P.
SFGTBQ
Wheelchair wheels are Aerospoke 2.0.
...if it wasn't for 'velcro', i doubt there could be such a thing as triathlons...
...how would these people survive ???...
...i like the guy who comes up to the obvious cycling transition line & stops shy of it to get clipped in..."huge duh factor" at work...
...btw...not that i saw that video because i had any wrong answers...i, ahhh, just wanted to see what a wrong one would produce...
...craigslizst...older model blue buick stationwagon with 'woody' side panels for sale...best offer...
...purchaser might consider new paint job before driving in the 'philly' area...
...signed,
lil ol' lady...
that tri thing has to be some sort of special needs event. i feel guilty for cringing whilst i watched. yeesh snob thats kinda nasty. stick with vapid hipsters and leave the challenged alone.
...quiz question #1...cops + bike lanes = pretzel logic...
...no doubt...
...just sayin'...
Fuck you haters.
Anon 5:59 PM -- I think your conscience should be clear:
http://www.redhillstriathlon.org/
You're not making fun of the handicapped, unless you call incompetence a handicap. It's merely dorquitude to the n-th degree.
Absolutely love the old-timey cyclocross video -- great, great stuff. When I was a kid back in the 60s I somehow procured a British book on "Cycle Racing", which gives a wonderful flavor of the era -- this reminds me so much of that. Even by the early 60s the standard of living in Britain was still suffering from a postwar, loss-of-empire slump -- bike racing was a good cheap sport for the masses. Cyclocross on zillion-dollar crabon is totally prissy compared to these guys. Iron men on iron bikes!
I got every question right until that dumb bonus.
Dammit!
Its about bicycle.
Cockwimpled!
steel is real.....
Note to self: Must remember to clip out in order to trick or treat.
Lord Bike Snob; that dear sir is a very fine wimple and in honor of another esteemed commentator,
I'd hit it!
May I just say that I'm happy about your continued use of the name "Moishe"?
I grew up in WASPy Massachusetts and now live in Seattle, so I've never had the pleasure of meeting someone sharing my name. I feel, virtually, that I have thanks your injecting it into your narrative now and again.
These are great quizes. Nice images.
anybody notice the radially laced rear wheel on that training wheel bike?
makes my head spin. thinking with my feet again
I want to experience all those things.
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