Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Living in a World of Fools: How Deep is your Ride

After my eventful leave of absence I have been working hard to catch up on the many items that are languishing and festering on my "To Do" list. For example, my refrigerator is long overdue for a cleaning, and it turns out that if you leave cheese alone for long enough it will actually reproduce via mitosis. (This is a rare case of extreme apathy yielding a groundbreaking scientific discovery.) Also, the cat has not eaten in fourteen months. Most distressingly, I apparently missed some sort of World Naked Bike Ride planning meeting, which took place last night:


Hello all you beautiful biking bodies, bursting brains and biosphere boosters!

Let me thank you for joining me in putting your self out there to help make this celebration of our future as great as it can be. It will be a testament to the power of community, and a strong protest against the environmental calamity that is occurring.

It is too nice a day (gotta go ride nearly nekkid) to waste composing a long e-mail, so I'll try to be brief.

WNBR NYC is going to need lots of folks to step up this final week, as we plan about how we will create this space and event together. We will need many people the day of the ride setting up, preparing, riding and breaking down.

At last, the structure we have all been waiting for will come into being in time for Monday evening's meeting at 7pm at ABC No Rio, 156 Rivington in LES. I'll have lists of jobs to be done and you can volunteer to do it! Teams to focus on specific issues will be formed.

RIGHT NOW, THIS WEEKEND we must maximize promotion. Talk it up at all the parties you hit. Come pick up fliers from me at Bkyln side of Williamsburg bridge at 7pm tonight for distribution!

Please stay tuned to the wiki page! Please e-mail me about ANYTHING!

Have a great weekend. See you Monday,


It's a good thing there are others who had the wherewithal to attend, for as millions and millions of barrels of oil pour into the Gulf of Mexico we need a united front of naked cyclists now more than ever. I commend this committee for taking such a bold stance by lodging a "strong protest against the environmental calamity that is occurring." Until now, nobody has spoken out and said that this whole oil spill is a bad thing, so these cycling nudists deserve a lot of credit for having the courage to go on record here. Moreover, I have absolutely no doubt that a bunch of naked people riding bicycles will be more than sufficient to stanch the flow of oil, de-grease the pelicans, and render the ocean blue again. Surely, when the executives at BP see a white, flabby, and pimply posterior draped over the saddle of an old crappy ten speed like a piece of melting mozzarella on a hunk of hero bread, they will repent, and the oil derricks of yesteryear will become the wind farms of tomorrow.

Still, I'd like very much to see the minutes from this meeting, because it's hard for me to imagine how much planning a naked bicycle ride requires. Did they spend two hours on "advanced disrobing technique?" Was there a seminar on how to paint your breasts to look like flowers? Did they need to train a bunch of volunteers in abscess pus drainage so that they can treat the participants who will inevitably be felled mid-ride by chafing-induced saddle sores? "Cut me, cut me!," I picture a sweaty, hirsute participant shouting like a prizefighter in between rounds as he writhes on the pavement in searing agony due to a sizable ass boil.

If only it were 1971, the World Naked Bike Riders would at least have had ready access to Pub, the "masculine hygiene deodorant," as advertised in that issue of Playboy I mentioned yesterday:

Back in the '70s, the liberal application of Aqua Net to the bush followed by a spritz of Pub was how you prepared for date night. (You just had to make sure your crotch didn't get too close to an open flame.)

Speaking of "riding deep," a reader in San Diego recently spotted this bicycle, which features a compelling Deep V admonition:

One day in the distant future, when mankind attempts to make sense of the fixed-gear craze, we will find that its history was written on a series of Deep V rims, and the Rosetta Stone of rims was of course the legendary "All You Haters Suck My Balls" wheel. However, even now, these rim messages can be inscrutable:

First of all, what does he mean by "Ride deep?" Does he mean ride deep-section rims? If so, his own rear wheel is at odds with his mission statement. Or, does he mean that you should only ride below sea level? This too seems unlikely, since it would limit him to the ocean floor, or at best to places like Death Valley, the Salton Sea, the Dead Sea, and parts of the Netherlands. Most likely though, what he means by "deep" is "with lots of other people"--in other words, never ride your bike alone, because that means you're a loser. This makes sense both in terms of mainstreamified urban vernacular and the typical fixed-gear rider's passionate obsession with conformity. As for "GTFO," that hardly warrants mentioning, since everyone knows it stands for "Got To Find Oreos."

Indeed, in the fixed-gear culture it is de rigeur to "ride deep," and to constantly be in the company of one's "peeps" or "bros." This allows one to coordinate outfits, as well as to make sure there's someone else to verify one's exploits in the event of video camera malfunction. The obsession with "riding deep" is also neatly illustrated in a new film which I saw recently on fixed-gear freestyle impresario and streetwear enthusiast (and now adult collector of children's toys) Prolly's blog, and which was also forwarded to me by a number of readers. Called "Fixed," it is a promotional video for some sort of fashion accessory company probably patronized by the modern-day equivalent of the sorts of people who used Pub deodorant in 1971, and it is nothing less than a window in the subconscious of the typical fixed-gear rider:



Creative title, by the way:


As the film opens over a vast cityscape, a lone man raises a bugle to his lips:

If you're unfamiliar with the bugle, it's basically a fixed-gear trumpet since it has no valves.

Next, we see a group of anemic-looking fixed-gear riders whose insouciance is rivaled only by their pallor:


Apparently, the bugle call is some sort of "bat signal" for "hipsters," (and I'm guessing it sounded something like this):


("Hark! Did somebody sound the Fixie Bugle?")

Next, the action (and by "action" I mean "pretense") shifts to a parking garage, and another wan hipster glances over his shoulder disconcertingly:

This, evidently, is intended to showcase the idiotic quilted backpack he's wearing, since this is the sort of thing the accessory company sells. Amazingly, somebody probably wants that now.

Here come the rest of the "hipsters," still all jumpy from the bugle:

Notice how the guy in the blazer keeps doing those irritating little tailwhip skids, which is the fixed-gear cycling equivalent of a "doucheclamation point," or of saying the word "fuckin'" too much when you're telling a story:


Here's a gratuitous haggard man of indeterminate age, ravaged by hipness (or GHMOIARBH):

GHMOIARBHs are frequently spotted in Brooklyn neighborhoods such as Red Hook, which is where aging "hipsters" tend to move when they can no longer handle the "grind" of Williamburg. (In the days of pubic deodorant, they were simply called "burnouts.") My guess is that the director intends to "parlay" this film into a feature, which will probably be sort of a "hipster" version of "Castaway." In it, the GHMOIARBH will find himself stranded in an uncool town when his vintage Peugeot breaks down. He will be forced to come to terms with his existence (and to perform his own dentistry, like Tom Hanks did with the ice skate), and his only companion will be a broken squash racket he purchased at a yard sale and to which he will sing LCD Soundsystem songs. (James Murphy is the patron saint of GHMOIARBHes.)

Next, the wan shoulder-glancer returns with a whistle:

By blowing the whistle, he turns them all into bike polo players:

The director clearly lifted this directly from "Strange Brew," in which organ music makes a bunch of crazy people play hockey:



While purloined, though, it is rather fitting. Like the crazy people in "Strange Brew," hipsters are easily controlled, and both have been effectively brainwashed with cheap beer.

Soon, night falls, and the bugler dons his sunglasses in a gratuitious display of counter-intuition:

Meanwhile, the skidder starts lighting his own farts, or else has an accident with his flammable crotchal deodorant and pubic styling products:

He also nails his own genitals to his stem like some sort of misguided Hipster Jesus:

All hail the Messiah of Pointlessness.

The GHMOIARBH, meanwhile, remains eternally unperturbed.

This is nothing less than a remarkable piece of cinematography--though not quite as remarkable as a Rock Racing-themed "backpiece," which was spotted by a reader on Roadbikereview.com:


Watch as it takes shape, despite the wearer presumably having had plenty of time to change his mind during the process:


Only the most ravaged soul could be unmoved by this permanent tribute to smarm.


132 comments:

Nogocyclist said...

Not Last

Nogocyclist said...

But First. Meh!

Matt said...

KNUC TATS

Nogocyclist said...

Now to read the post.

Anonymous said...

Pretty good

ce

Pontius Pilate said...

HAIL CSZR

-P.P.

singlespeedspinning said...

oh yeah

wishiwasmerckx said...

Top ten.

James said...

TOP TEN

ringcycles said...

top 10!

Anonymous said...

"Oooh, my left nut."

Fingerbang Assistant said...

1600W sprint and still no top ten...

mikeweb said...

Run silent. Run deep.

Shu-Sin said...

TOPT WNTY

Astroluc said...

is really good at finishing in the mid-teens...

Anonymous said...

top 50! I'll stay in cat 5 ty

Peter said...

There are a few images in here that would put your Surly Big Dummy to shame... Plus its cycling in the Netherlands in the 1950's, nothing more classic than that.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1HgLqts3qJs

Anonymous said...

not bad

SD said...

Nice to see that obese cyclists can take part in the sport by getting giant back tattoos. Or they could try riding enough to drop those extra 45 pounds they put on. Whatever.

What's with the talking ad thing? AND it's an anti-UPS ad. I always use UPS, just because the drivers generally try to avoid killing me. Fuck FedEx Ground.

hillbilly said...

run cheap

Name said...

Why aren´t you people following the agreement? Are you that thick?

Let Frilly Ride!!!

Nogocyclist said...

Snob, the promotional video is much more significant than you are bringing out. This video explains the fixed gear culture. The title says it all!

Fixed

All this cultural stuff the hipsters are doing is because....They have been Fixed.

That explains it all.

Fingerbang Assistant said...

Fuckin' Fixed is the dumbest fuckin' video ever, bar fuckin' none. Fuckin' lame hipsters and fuckin' lame fuckin' tail whips.

dirty30 said...

"If you're unfamiliar with the bugle, it's basically a fixed-gear trumpet since it has no valves."

got me to LOL while trapped in my little work cube.

mikeweb said...

Are we sure that the GHMOIARBH in the video isn't Wayne Coyne, wondering why they ripped off his video style?

OBA said...

"Oh, my left nut..."

dcee said...

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/globe-drive/car-life/road-sage/the-great-canadian-cyclists-exam/article1591998/

Anonymous said...

The quilted backpack actually IS kind of cool, which makes my disgust with that self-righteous celebration of douche that much more intense

YEECH

*orders knapsack*

Anonymous said...

naked + abc no rio= vomit enducing stench and anal dreadlock mullets

debichan1a said...

All hail the Messiah of Pointlessness. hahahahahaha. that made me laugh out loud at work.

CommieCanuck said...

WWWRRRRRRR...shit, my batteries must be low.

Anonymous said...

Finally this blog has some class....and it took was a little bob and doug.

hillbilly said...

Name - I'm a pretty skinny guy, I would say proportionally correct, certainly not thi...oh shit, not what you meant, damn, my fault.

Dave said...

The GHMOIARBH actually looks nonplussed

ant1 said...

ant1st!

Isolation Helmet said...

You have now ruined my favoite snack which is a piece of bread with melted mozzarella. From now on mozzarella + bread = fat flabby pimpled ass. Which I guess would be true if I didn't ride as much as I do.

By the way Grant Peterson wrote a good review of your book on his site.

g said...

I just want to know, Why naked?

honkybucket said...

I can't decide which would be more ridiculous to have draped over my hind side -- the quilted backpack, or the rock themed tattoo. I guess the tattoo would probably be cheaper.

Quicksquirt McHurt said...

I'd hit it.

yofilly said...

Top 40 hit. Welcome back, Snobby. Congratulations on the mini-snob!

Jefe said...

As a parent and role model, you may no longer attend clothing-optional cycling events. In a couple of years you will have to put together your first tricycle. It is much more complicated than any road bike. Lennard Zinn won't get near them. Parts are often left over after assembly.

sully said...

Your so dead on with the passionate obsession of conformity. I just moved back to Long Beach.The West coast mecca of fixie conformity after two yeas of being away.And the fixie douche scene as grown about a hundred fold since.All with tight black pants and an even tighter t shirt.Its gotten to the point where you can tell a fixie douche just from the style of their meticoulously coifed bedhead.

luciferyellow said...

A bow tie always classes things up.
It's what the true individuals and freethinkers wear while they do their Grand Rounds.

yofilly said...

"All hail the Messiah of Pointlessness."

Fucking hilarious. Seriously, Snobby, too fucking awesome. You are the fucking man.

Enough. I'm fucking hungry. GTFO.

Jesse said...

It really must suck to have your now permanent and difficult to cover up backpiece snobbed.

mattoidbunko said...

Yo Snob,

It would appear today's post is the result of you spending your time off sharpening your "disassembling, flushing, greasing, and re-packing" teeth. I dig it.

Blog deep.

ronnie raygun said...

I nearly shot an entire milk infused Oreo out of my nose when you explained what "GTFO" meant.

ronnie raygun said...

Secondly, yeah "what's the point of the 'naked' part of the bike ride? Maybe I don't want people to see that I paint my man-boobs to resemble perennial flowers.

Skid Lid said...

The bicycle bugle was probably enchanted and calls centuries-old spirits who join and maximize the cleansing power of the douche.

Anonymous said...

I think the fixhipsters set should take up fixie jousting. They could wear really cool outfits and could actually maim and kill each other. Now that would impress me, fixie polo and riding around with sparklers on your bike, not so exciting.

Eric Lowe said...

I thought the film was going to be about the mass sterilization of hipsters in London.

SPAY NUTR

Cognorant said...

First off welcome back Bike Snob, and congratulations on the new baby snob. I wish you and the Ms. Snob all the best.

I'll be a little snarky though and take issue with your statement yesterday about childbirth being one of life's miracles. Snob... It happens about 350,000 times every day on earth....and that's just us humans. The miracle here is that you haven't found a way to teach your cat to eat the cheese that's reproducing in your refridgerator!

Jen said...

The Brothers Gibb, brought to you by the Father Snob. Will miracles never cease?

I am the engine said...

"British accessory designer, Harris Elliot tapped film maker Manny Bonett to produce this film for a new H by Harris collection called Manouevre, based on “the fixed gear individual. Men and women whose lifestyle is on the edge.” The line will be stocked in premier retail outlets such as DSM and Browns, Harris saw it fit to celebrate his first year of trading with a short web film. Enjoy!"

I was very confused until I checked out prolly's.

I finally got it, some guy named Harris makes clothes that he labeled H, he makes clothes, he is English, and that is what the English consider "on the edge".
I can not wait to see what abortion he comes up with for his second year.

admin said...

GTFO = get the front only

I am the engine said...

http://www.oki-ni.com/Brands/H-by-Harris/icat/hbyharris

I am more confused, he makes luggage.

Fixed gear culture is what happens when cheese can not mold.

Creaky said...

I like turtles.

TJ Eckleburg said...

PUB and the BEE GEES.

2.B.A.DO said...

seriously, that was friggen hilarious. Great post today.

Daddo said...

Macadam!
and
Mazel Tov!

Nikola said...

For the EE's in da house:

Gate
Fuckin'
Turn
Off

sufferist said...

Raveged by Hipness...portrait of a serial conformist...Snobbies next tome...I can't wait!

Nikola said...

Oops, that would be

Gate
Turn
Fuckin'
Off

Good thing I'm an engineer and not someone who needs to know how to read.

João Faustino said...

The one "fixed" chick looks like the blonde main character from V...

Surprised BSNYC didn't highlight the Michael Jackson-esque grab to the pants yabbies at 1:36 of the video...

I want free knogs, send me please.

3G said...

Total genius.

that is all

Tim said...

Nice trumpet joke.

Anonymous said...

I bet this sport would get more attention if they used fireworks: http://www.guzer.com/videos/awesome-bike-trick-girls.php

Spinach Salad said...

HAIL CAESAR.

S.S.

Pontiac Pilot said...

HAIL GTFO.

P.P.

Anonymous said...

GHMOIARBH
Man, what a fine description.
I could not watch the whole video in a single seating, lest I empty the contents of my stomach.

Marc said...

Ah, finally. That explains the smell of burnt hair and all the little skid marks in the parking garage last winter.

frilly said...

A riding buddy invited me to the St Louis edition of the World Naked Bike Ride. No thanks. There's a reason they have it at night.

I like the quilted backpack--has a Chanel vibe to it.

ervgopwr said...

So this video is new? Some of this sheet has been on the daschund of time for like 5 years. Skids, check. Stupid neckwear, check. Pyrotechnics, excuse me, road flares...lame.

Can that backpack carry a pony keg? Come back then.

PACK BREW

Marc said...

First on the Post-Frilly podium???

mikeweb said...

All the bars in the 'Fixed' viddy are way too long.

CHOP FAIL

ervgopwr said...

PS. my reproductive anatomy is fully intact, yet:

TIRFTBATWOIOTV

Tonight I'm Racing Fucking Track Bikes As They Were Originally Intended ON THE VELODROME.

ervgopwr said...

Sorry Marc, didn't know it was contest to come after frilly, but I do what I can...

Marc said...

RTMS,

There's an older guy that rides around Austin in nothing but thong/t-back/butt-floss. Not sure what to call it, but it ain't pretty. May your visit be blessed (or cursed) with a sighting.

Anonymous said...

@Marc 4:33 -- If he used to be accompanied by his girlfriend, you might say that the mammaries were gone, but the thong lingers on ...

Beatnik Beat 58 said...

Jeez, that lame-o "film" looked more like some kind of perfume commercial.

Paul Bowen said...

Possibly your best post so far Snobby, absolutely hilarious.

A crotch deodorant called Pub: Guaranteed To Facilitate Orgasm

Salty Seattle said...

PUB = One of the earlier instances of subliminal marketing. Note, they're going after a specific audience:

Perfectly
Undesirable
Boys

Cruel, marketing dude. Just cruel.

Anonymous said...

I loved the part with the flares.

PYRO SKDZ

theshepherdsdog said...

! wow that video is lame

frilly said...

Salty, I like it! Better than what I was thinking. I thought it was a long u, like pube. For the non-manscaping boys.

bikesgonewild said...

...this is all becoming so fucking complicated...

...bsnyc/rtms here, bikesnob out/up there in portland, biketwittersnob on yer mobile pocket device, bikesnob t-shirts, bsnyc/rtms "seal(s) of approval", the new bikesnobulette 'in a manger'...

...i swear, there's gonna be fucking ***bikesnob franchises*** before this shit gets done !!!...

...i need a program just tryin' ta keep up w/ all this shit...jeezus h. krist...

...oh. right !!!...worship "the holy grail of cycling" no matter your denomination w/ the snobdaddy, the mommysnob & the new little bikesnobulette...

..."sunday, sunday, sunday !!!...(or saturday, as the case may apply)...

flynn said...

bugle burn

Lee said...

Just a tremendous post. LULZ

Jefe said...

Marc 4:33,

I've seen that guy ride up to the Whole Foods Market on Lamar in that thong. I think he's banned from going anywhere near Mellow Johnny's and most of UT.

Anonymous said...

Humiliatingly, in suburban Cleveland I once spray-painted: Skate tough or go home! My grinds were weak and my air just a couple of inches over coping, but I think I understood the no doubt forward-thinking irony of modern-day Brooklyn. Pack guns not fudge, or, if you prefer (and are pretentious), its preferable Hegelian/Invisible Committee corollary: Pack fudge not guns. Equally humiliating, I prefer what is called the latter.

Anonymous said...

i've never seen anything as stupid as that video.

Earl said...

Take off aeh, Snobby that was theeee best post since yest.!!

thanks

michael b said...

I laughed, and I laughed, and I laughed...

Mellow Yellow said...

For the latest WORLD NAKED BIKE RIDE info (aka the meeting minutes) check out http://bit.ly/Bi7aY

Come to Grand Ferry Park in Williamsburg at 5pm Saturday, June 12th, to find out the route, so that you may better avoid seeing something that makes you uncomfortable.

Nudity gets attention. Oil-spill webcams are hella boring. Naked after parties are not.

P & S said...

the flares or sparklers or whatever are so 80's and bad - send me an angel. the irony of the irony is that it is still bad.

PawnShop said...

Naked oil-spill after parties are the best of all. When it's Extra Virgin Olive Oil.

SLPR YSLP

Anonymous said...

Snobby, darling! (may I call you darling?) I bought your book, just finished it today, and loved it. Next time you palp a stack of diapers courtesy of your royalty check, remember that one of those puppies has my name on it. You can thank me later.

Now, it is vitally important that you and Mrs. Snob sleep when the baby sleeps! Now is the time! No monkeying on blogs, SLEEP! And be very kind to Mrs. Snob. I couldn't ride for several months after producing the genetic experiment that now fills my abode with dirty socks and adolescent angst. It was rough. She might be feeling somewhat fragile. Be kind. Be very, very kind. Really.

Best to all three of you! Now, SLEEP!

Anonymous said...

AYHHEASAPAMBAIAOF

All You Haters Help Me As Soon As Possible As My Bike And I Are On Fire

sam said...

All hail the Messiah of Pointlessness.

----- priceless

Anonymous said...

once again hipsters prove they are the biggest piles of shit

David Henderson said...

Hey, it has bikes in it, so it's not all bad. I also like fireworks.

Anonymous said...

Ultra Hipster...
http://tinypic.com/r/ehzuw8/6

Jon William

stream of nothing said...

welcome back from the wilderness of the burnouts snob :)

cyclegoddess said...

Is ABC no RIO STILL there ? Christ, its been 15 years since I saw that joint and it was falling down then!

cyclegoddess said...

Oh, Qof M, OZ!!

cyclegoddess said...

( yes I am one of those annoying people, who like to talk while riding uphill )

cyclegoddess said...

Missed the naked ride in Canberra,Oz.
Was going to go, but who needs to see a skinny 41 year old, with last decade and half's ago genital piercings and tribal tattoos on 1/7on her body?

Ive got a good body but I think Im in style again. The Horror!!

I should have passed that crap up for sports nutrition and track racing :(

Ronan said...

I have a white saddle, therefore naked bike riding is not an option.

yofilly said...

SNOBBY!!!!!!!

Just read the post again. It is absolute perfection. Priceless. I laughed, I cried (that tattoo must have hurt), I shot milk out of my nose. Better than Cats. It should be bronzed, like little Snobby first pair of hand-made Italian cycling shoes.

Anon 11:31-you were the icing on the cake.

Skully said...

C'mon! No-one's spotted the obvious 'Bugle' reference yet!?

This is a fashion film about Fixie ... use your loaves. Maybe you don't know that slang? OK well I'll give you a hint ... what do you do with a bugle?

yogisurf said...

Great post, Snobby. LMAO. Fixed gear trumphet....

Hardcore Shirt said...

Who needs Pub when we have Fresh Balls for our masculine needs.

grog said...

more than one reference to cheese.
is someone near you lactating?
MIXD NUTS

LK said...

My wife has pointed out that Hipster is just Yuppie rebranded.

I bet they have a new Thirtysomething in development.

Sean said...

Sir,

You know how sometimes you are sitting at the bar and a good looking girl comes in and orders a drink and you don't even look at them, instead being intensely interested in your new 15t cog or what-have-you, and said girl leaves in a huff since she can't stand when people don't notice her? Maybe if you stop paying so much lavish attention to these "fixed-gear freestyle impresario and streetwear enthusiasts" they will GO AWAY.

Anonymous said...

There should be a moritorium on skulls in tatoo art.

captain said...

Hey Ellll Snoborino.. Glad to have you back and congrats on the new mini-snob!

livingjetlag said...

I want to walk around with a bunch of letter stickers so I can adorn people's rims with stuff like "All You Haters Inflate to 90-110 PSI; 700x23," or "If you can read this, I somehow managed to stop my bicycle."

John T. Angle said...

It looks like Snob watched as much HBO in the 80's as I did.
All I have to say is..."Goose, P.J., Powderpuff!!!

Anonymous said...

this youtube comment says it best:
"Are you kidding me? Lifestyle 'on the edge'? On the edge of what? Mummy and Daddy's credit limit? Go tell the guys and girls fighting in the Middle East that you're 'hardcore' because your bike doesn't have brakes, and see what they say. Pretentious little half-wit morons."

Anonymous said...

Fixed should be renamed Broken. Like the spirits of those who have seen it. Just ride your bike, lil' Johnny, & spare us these offshoots of this pathetic self imposed fxie culture. Since they lack sense I'll be ashamed for them.

Anonymous said...

ride deep or gtfo. much like a fan of rap music acting tough all the time or the closeted gay man who calls everyone a fag, this is an example of the worst kind of insecure poser. hipsters are all about authenticity but the irony is everything they do is lacking just that.

pixiestyx said...

Ech. What a pretentious, candy-ass pile of twaddle. I need some kinda unicycle bastards kick zombie ass antidote: http://vimeo.com/9370997

pixiestyx said...

To clarify--I was referring to the fixie film, not the blog post!

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Anonymous said...

Maybe if I got the tattoo, on the padded backpack I could put all my clothes in it during my naked FIXED cycle. What a plan. Quick... to the bat fax.

vajra said...

Doing some catching up here, this was the best post I've read so far on your blog. Thanks for the laughs.

dining tables said...

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fixie bikes said...

my ride is mad deep.