Thursday, April 10, 2008

This Just In: Deep-Section Rims Provide Excellent Opportunity for Self-Expression!





This photo, courtesy of the inestimable photographer "Sucka Pants," is an inspiring example of how color choice is only the beginning when it comes to expressing yourself through your rims. Indeed, all it takes is a strong opinion, a little ingenuity, and a few vinyl stick-on letters to tell your many haters just what they can or can't do with your testicles. And extra points to this rider for spacing the letters fairly evenly and for orienting his compelling slogan opposite the valve stem.


Also, while I have your attention, I'd like to relay some other important news as well. If you're as big an Opinionated Cyclist fan as I am, you'll be pleased to know that official Opinionated Cyclist merchandise is now available. You can learn more about it in his latest video, aptly titled "Are you a fan of OC? Now you can show everyone."








Thanks very much for your attention. I now return you to "This Land Is Your Land, This Land Is My Land."




(Flag by Erik K)

63 comments:

Pedal Strike Force Agent Down said...

first!

bikesgonewild said...

...fuck podiums...

bikesgonewild said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Podium by default?

sprider said...

That's it. Now I have to quit my job just to keep up with the sheer quantity of posts by RTMS. How will I ever find time to ride?

wine soaked lips said...

Whats wrong with the opinionated cyclist? Lobotomized, retarded or simply extremely tedious? Hard to say.

Jewbeard said...

omgomgomg 2 updates in one day!

Anonymous said...

top ten after reading both articles - why two articles on a perfectly sunny day???

wishiwasmerckx said...

Sprider, amen to that. A triple-double, and it is still only Thursday. Do you think that the recent increase in posting activity evidences that our hero got shitcanned from whatever mysterious gainful employment he had because his employer got fed up with how much time was being devoted to this blog?

Anonymous said...

I don't know if i can keep up with this kind of pace. I think i am going to find the broomwagon sweeping me up if this multi blogging continues.

BikeSnobNYC said...

wishiwasmerckx,

Nope. Just consider it my own personal SMB to the haters.

--BSNYC

Anonymous said...

Super Mario Brothers? Small mouth bass? Steve Miller Band?

The Los said...

Rip Torn looks like my brother's mother-in-law. Seriously. I originally thought it was mostly just from Beastmaster, but there's a strong resemblance to RTMS as well.
Guess what he's got waiting for in his golden years!

Anonymous said...

Hmmm.... Let's see. BSNYC is opinionated. OC is opinionated. BSNYC/RTMS uses cafepress.com for the "Seal of Disapproval" paraphernalia. Opinionated Cyclist uses cafepress.com. Too much in common. Could it be that BSYNC IS the OC, just expanding beyond the written word blogosphere into YouTube VideoLand???

Anonymous said...

Take that hat off OC, and have him not shave for a few days (weeks?) and I'll bet he looks just like RTMS.

Anonymous said...

RTMS -

two posts a day , two days in a row. you out of work?

i'm sure i'm not only who was glad to receive his first issue of OUTSIDE magazine thanks to a $50 purchase i made on that secret website you suggested. In it there is a great article on Michael Ball's Rock Racing team of all things. Did you know that "team member mario cipollini once said that if he hadn't been a pro cyclist, he would have been a porn star." Fascinating.

erik k said...

as a nation of cyclists it is probably also important that we have a generic cheaply made bike with national branded paint job

mojito said...

Are you sure OC is not some failed claymation pilot? OC shares some features of Wallace, Grommett, and many of their predecessors in Creature Comforts. The rolling eyes, the cartoon voice, and the occasional scratches and tics. However, unlike the aforesaid Aardman creations, OC has terrible material. I watched for 37 seconds longer than I should have.

Sycophantic Backstabber said...

Opinionated Cyclist has such a dreamy voice and speech cadence! Great white noise complement to anything you're doing.

OpenYourEyes said...

There is no way Anon 4:51 that OC could be RTMS. OC has the creativity and versatility of a soap dish. To watch him is to loathe him. And besides, RTMS has too many obscure references to the '80's. OC would be more apt to be writing about ICP or his PS2 or some such crap, and his cycling knowledge would be limited to the Lance error, I mean, era.

OpenYourEyes said...

erik k can you do a logo design for my business?

Anonymous said...

I clicked on the photo sight you provided ... I am either getting really old or too many children have been left way behind and abandoned. What were some of those, recreations of Lord of the Flies ? Some of them were completely disgusting. How can people live like that ?
This is why people should stay in school.

Jim said...

I think that guy's nuts shoudl be subjected to a battery of Consumer Products Safety Commission tests, to ensure consumer safety. These will include the standard array of vehicular tests, such as flame retardancy, impact resistance and shatterproof testing, and, like mattress labels should also include twisting, spindling, removal, or other mutilation. Side impact collision testing may be necessary as well, if the test subject is still up for that.

bikesgonewild said...

...if rtms/bsnyc actually turns out to be the oc...well then, my suicide will be the first recorded death attributable to this blog (i think)...

...if time is indeed money, i can certainly justify wasting MY TIME on any site I see fit but that revelation would undoubtedly prove to be a little too stressful...

...i tend to go along w/ openyoureyes theory that oc has the creativity & versatility (& personal charm) of a soap dish but, damn, i'm gonna start exploring my options...

...jesus, now i'm on pins & needles...

Judi said...

The OC looks like he is on pain pills or something stronger than just weed.

yonk said...

Opinionated Cyclist. Oh, Yes.

As for this video--No eating this time?? C'mon. Please crunch on, brother.
It is sad that he cannot afford his own button. We should buy him a button.

How great is his name? Named after something he lacks.

Signed, Muscular Yonk

Cameron said...

Well, I wanted to be the first to sellout on our new Republic by offering my own flag design on a button. Little did I know that JFJJWIEUJ-BSNYC had already selected a flag to represent us.

Oh, well. Go buy some of my damn buttons anyway!

Cameron said...

Jesus Erik K,

You and I are always getting into a graphic design throw-down! I thought my Pabst/Mission Collabo could be our official ride!

Wait, I've got it--Erik K and I could start a cycling sportswear firm to help fund this new island nation. We'll call it Cyclist's Republic Sportswear. It'll be like cross between Primal and Rock & Republic

velocityted said...

good lord what the f was that video? on and on about the button.

leroy said...

I just can't shake the feeling that if Opinionated Cyclist shared his opinion on whether one should ride with a helmet it would explain a lot.

I mean, I can't be the only one looking at that poor soul and thinking head trauma.

Christian Liberal said...

Opinionated Cyclist is the bike version of Dax Flame on lots of Valium.

Anonymous said...

Cameron,

Nice design.

Am I the only one not getting any work done? Is this a plot to create a dedicated, focused group by swelling the ranks of unemployed cyclist?

Oh well the last stint of unemployment did double my annual milage.

Hail RTMS fka bsnyc!


Back to bed

bikesgonewild said...

...leroy, i can't but help thinking that that is "organic" head trauma...the package was delivered w/ the program already installed...

DB said...

We are witnessing a kind of Golden Age of BSNYC/RTMS -- an unparalleled period of artistic and creative productivity similar to, say, the period between 1965 and 1969 when the Beatles released Rubber Soul, Sargeant Pepper, Abbey Road, etc.

So I guess next comes the descent into a seemigly unending foggy nightmare of drugs, bad marriages and financial ruin, with literally years spent hiding in bed, hoovering up cocaine and heroin and afraid even so much as to open your apartment door for the Chinese food delivery guy.

Don't worry though, eventually a controlling Svengali will come along -- perhaps your spunky and strong willed fourth wife, or maybe a controversial psychiatrist -- to pull you out of your drug-addled miasma, at the cost of sucking up your remaining money and making you a public laughing stock.

At some point your new minder will get you to grant legal rights to create a new BSNYC/RTMS blog, consisting of reposts of old material that you comment on inarticulately with your few remaining brain cells, and also maybe some "lost" posts from 2008 that will get "newly discovered" and published.

Finally, your own reality holo-vision show (that's what TV will be called in 2031), a kind of futuristic Regis and Kathie Lee, where you and a 58 year old Ashlee Simpson trade barbs about your "bottom bracket stiffness" and "crank length."

Anyway, keep it up!

erik k said...

cameron the pabst misson bike is awesome, im going to have to do mine in high res way to step it up

erik k said...

openyoureye, well what are you looking for? just hit me up on my blog

Scott said...

Why settle for some crappy do-it-yourself kludge when you can spend $5K and get something completely awesome?

db said...

Man, someone hijacked my ID.

Anonymous said...

Erik K... nice blog

Where's the rest of your work... the Apocalyptic Alpaca and the bike messengers, etc?

Anonymous said...

I would still rather ride that ugly ass "suck my balls" wheel than these shit ugly "Ball wheels"
http://velonews.com/photo/74472

Anonymous said...

I would still rather ride that ugly ass "suck my balls" wheel than these shit ugly "Ball wheels"
http://velonews.com/photo/74472

erik k said...

annon... keep going its in the archives

Andy Pandy said...

Wasn't wearing his helmet was the dear ol OC. Can hardly see the scars

g said...

WTF?!!! I spend the entire afternoon reading this on a phone only to come home and find I missed an entire post. Damn modern technology!

BellaCroix said...

Watching video timeline:

2:05 Launched second browser - leaving OC talking in backround. Checked mail, realized I have as many fans as OC does.

2:50 Opened a beer in a futile attempt to drown the sorrows of my miserable, failed existance.

2:59 Having finished the beer I visited my favorite porn website (fixedgear gallery).

3:25 Finished my masterbatory visit getting my load off to a pink framed, aerospoked, atrocity with a lemon yellow TTP (looked like someone puked a box of Lucky Charms). It's like torture porn, you don't want to watch but you just have to know how it ends.

4:00 Fell asleep listening to OC beg his 10 viewers to get together, buy buttons, and send him one because his broke ass can't even afford to buy his own products.

4:25 Woke, screaming, from a dream with RTMs/BSNYC and OC having a "foot down" contest with Prolly on bamboo framed fixed gears.

5:00 Couldn't handle listen to OC drone on any longer, drove an ice pick into my ears then posted this.

Thanks RTMs, you'll be hearing from my attorney.

mander said...

I pledge allegiance to the flag
And the Rock & Republic for which it stands.
One nation under RTMS, indivisible;
With bearing grease and chain lube for all.

bikesgonewild said...

...btw, erik k & cameron...are those bikes considered to be 'mission statements' ???...

Disappointed smartypants said...

There is no yellow in the official national flag.

No yellow. :(

How can we call ourselves winners if we have no yellow?

Once we beat the rest of the world into submission, do we at least get the world champ rainbow on our flag?

ka_jun said...

Opinionated Cyclist's voice makes me want to take a cheese grater, one that I typically only use for cycling specific cheese, to my ears. His constant belching and speech pattern makes my salivary glands hurt, similar to my memories of the sensation of pain you experience after drinking a Natural Ice, Red Dog, or similar of brewery mop squeezin's. The fact that he pimps the viewer to purchase HIM a button, wow, that's just awesome!

kalavanka trump said...

jesus god that flag is uglier than sin

Anonymous said...

Either Opinionated Cyclist is a brilliant deadpan and he's hilarious, or he's mentally ill and depressing and you shouldn't be making fun of him. But at this point, I can't decide which.

agentdetroit said...

openyoureyes

are you a juggalo? can one make experiential 80s references and still be down with the clowns?

Anonymous said...

Ka_jun: "brewery mop squeezin's"- I kneel if deference to your greatness.
The most awesome term to describe standard American swill I've ever seen.
RTMS- Come for the blog, stay for the Comments.

Anonymous said...

OC reminds me of the late great TV evangelist Dr. Gene Scott. Same tamber, same delivery. I really want to order 10 buttons and send him one. I hope he will soon begin to reveal some wacky spiritual revelation. He needs to start smoking Cubans.

Johnny Sprocket said...

I fell asleep 1/3 of the way into that clip......

Oh, and what an exciting looking button. No bucks saved in the graphic design budget on that one!

Johnny Sprocket said...

Holy mother of god!!.... those Cipollini wheels.
They should use them for interrogation pruposes. Anyone locked in a room with those things for more than 10 minutes would be spilling the beans like nobodys business.

BellaCroix said...

Holy friggin' crap!

OC is now offering a 100 pack for the low-low price of only $200! What a bargain! At that price you can buy one for each of your friends, all of his "fans" and still be able to send him 88 of those stupid buttons since he can't afford one himself.

It almost makes me wish I won the lottery just to buy him 100 of them and wait for him to vlog about how he plans to dispose of those UGLY ass things.

Lame.

I'm going to CafePress to design my own "Pay for a hit on OC" buttons. I figure a stick through the spokes should take care of it... actually, I think that'll be the button design.

Anonymous said...

I submit to the mocking: I do use MTB shoes and clips on my road bike, and I did once buy (with American $) a Rapha jersey. Fortunately, though, I saw the Rivendell schtick for what it was......

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samh said...

ALL YOU HATERS SUCK MY BALLS.