Friday, June 11, 2010

BSNYC Friday Fawn Quiz!

The weekend is nearly upon us, and those of us who live in New York City are staring down the twin barrels buttocks (pimples and all) of the World Naked Bike Ride. The Tour de France of coping mechanisms, this is a great opportunity to convince yourself that you're helping the environment by applying paint and glitter to your nipples. It's also the perfect theme ride for people who long for something just as crotchally irritating as a "tweed ride" but without all that pesky clothing.

Still, for general smugness, you just can't beat a good old-fashioned bike move, and here's one that took place recently in Boulder, CO (forwarded by a reader):



If you were troubled by that "Fixed" video from Tuesday's post, you'll be pleased to know that this one features the GHMOIARBH's arch-nemesis, the Downy-Bearded Helmet Mirror-Wearer (or DBHMW):

(They just don't build bicycle helmets like they used to.)

His superpower is a lack of pretense, his sandals are SPD compatible, and he wields a pair of bar ends with deadly accuracy.

There's also nothing quite as satisfying as receiving "golf claps" from your fellow citizens:


Best of all, you're saving the Earth, and for this reason those car trips you made to the Home Depot to buy plastic tubs don't count:

Of course, moving by bike is even sweeter in Boulder, where you get to move into an apartment complex called "The Peleton:"

I had assumed that this was North America's only Pelé-themed communal dwelling, but it turns out they actually just misspelled "peloton." If you're thinking of moving to The Peloton, just keep in mind that they don't allow triathletes (it's a drafting thing). Also, as in the actual peloton, there are frequent blood and urine tests.

And with that, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll know, and if you're wrong you'll see fixed-gear freestyling gone corporate.

Thanks very much for reading and for forwarding many of the items of which this quiz is comprised, ride safe, and enjoy the weekend.

--BSNYC/RTMS



(The FleMond)

1) Floyd Landis and Greg LeMond now share:






2) After being sexually assaulted at the Giro d'Italia, Bradley Wiggins may opt to skip the Tour de France.





3) Bianchi is apparently trying to revive a flatlining PistaDex by offering their venerable Pista in:

--Cabon fiber
--Titanium
--Bamboo
--Black





4) The answer to every single question on "The Great Canadian Cyclists Exam" is "Steve Bauer."

--True
--False






5) At last, a:





6) "Schluff" no more! Now you can buy a:







7) This treadmill bike is:

--"Custum"
--"Great for this summer"
--"A real haed turner"
--All of the above





8) The mother of the wearer of this tattoo is evidently:





***Special Olfactory-Themed Bonus Question***



If you smell a foul odor, it is time to:



103 comments:

Anonymous said...

Merckx!

wishiwasmerckx said...

Podiodium!

Anonymous said...

Podium?

ant1 said...

ant1st!

Anonymous said...

Hell's yeah!

-Podium boy

Anonymous said...

et oui!

Anonymous said...

Top 10?

Woo-Hoo!

Matthew said...

STLL NO LDOUT

...top 10 three days running!

Anonymous said...

TOP TEN

Anonymous said...

top ten?

Anonymous said...

Off the back!

yikesbikes said...

This is great...

wishiwasmerckx said...

Loved the Canadian cyclist quiz. If you sped through the post without reading it, go back - it's worth it.

Anonymous said...

Passed, like a gallstone.

n8k99 said...

with the pack.

Ronsonic said...

Doesn't everybody's helmet already smell bad enough by the time it is ready for replacement?

10,000 Aches said...

Damn it. That electric assist must have shorted in the rain. Must think of better all weather cheat. Training harder seems like a lot of work...

Astroluc said...

Mid-Teens!

NUDE RYDE

dirty30 said...

Say it aint so Joe. A strap to walk your bike?? WTF!?!?!?

Shu-Sin said...

how can it be! losing yellow!!

Anonymous said...

I feel you dude -- like the anti-doping thing is so like totally uncool.

Enjoy your trip to Texas and continued affixing of lips to Lance's less than complete parts.

Quicksquirt McHurt said...

I'd hit it.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

I actually like the Cisco add. At least it's not the mountain bike-car commercial that's been cliched to death.

DBHMV -theres one in every crowd.

hillbilly said...

have a good weekend, bunch a schluffer von schluffingtons.

Nogocyclist said...

I watched the bicycle steering strap video and though to myself who in the world would invest in this stupid idea. Absolutely no one would buy one of these awful items.

Then it occurred to me, it is the "perfect item." This item makes the Podium of the Century in the race for the absolute best Office Gag Gift. For the die hard obsessive cyclist, in your office what could be a better gag gift?

Marc said...

oh man, that post was brutal. well, I'm off to walk my bike.

g said...

Often I have wondered what bike tool would best represent the love between mother and son. Now I can die.

Swashbuckling Dandy said...

The best thing about the Custum Treadmill Bike is that your speed will be exactly the same as it would be if you were just running. You get the mechanical losses as a bonus, so it's not just the fun of maneuvering such a contraption, either. What a concept!

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

g -That or the nipple wrench!

Sorry about that. It's frilly's fault.

I am the engine said...

I wonder if naked bike ride is going to go over the big skanky. Too much irony for me.

tgs said...

Someone actually asked me yesterday if I was participating in the world naked bike ride.

I failed the Canadian Cycling Exam because I put Ryder Hesjedal for every answer.

IBS said...

Whenever my dog farts I kick him.

g said...

recumbent,
I was thinking bottom bracket removal tool, but just felt dirty afterward.

Basket Animal said...

Clown Protest
(contains bike content)

I think there should be a World Clown Ride every year as a protest against murdering criminals.
Folders, Freakbikes, Unicycles, Highly Accessorised Bicycles, Outlandish Costumes for riders and bicycles alike.

Or would it be too much like other bicycle protests?

Anonymous said...

Wouldn't that treadmill bike roll backwards as you run forwards?

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

OK I'm gonna try to get some work done before anything else Fruedian slips out.
have a nice weekend.

Anonymous said...

I was surprised by the hostility in the Canadian biking quiz. I have never met a hostile Canadian. Course, I am not into hockey or riding a fixed-gear bicycle, eh?

"Guppy" Honaker said...

This is great. Everythign you wanted to know about bikes, but was afraid to ask! A note about the "World Naked Bike Ride" - sure won't happen here in Phoenix. Their buttocks would melt to the seats of the bikes. :)

- David

Aloe Vera 101
Holistic Health Info.

Jefe said...

Did Commie Canuck write that Canadian Cycling Test? Some of thase answers are snarkily familiar.

And that Cisco Systems Fixie...is that just the Walmart bike in white?

PawnShop said...

Having moved by bike once, I'd suggest that not doing so presents a very high utility value for a U-Haul & a gallon of gasoline. Leaves more time for riding without the apparently requisite overload of smugness.

Paul Bowen said...

Dash it all! Clean sweep in my grasp, BUT then the bonus question...nice weekend everyone.

HLMT ODOR

Shu-Sin said...

yes, but can one strap the treadmill bike and walk it? think that over on your big dummy.

Anonymous said...

I know that when I help someone move with my truck, I get all pissed off at them having so much shit.
If I biked across town with a box of old license plates, I'd throw a rock at that smug moron's head.

Anonymous said...

Cisco even hired David Cameron to appear in that video!

Michael said...

A perfect example of why the vehicles powered by a combustion engine are so popular. Nothing like asking 40 of your best friends to move items that 10 people and a truck could do in an hour.

Anonymous said...

Isn't the DBHMW just a long winded way of describing a paleo-Fred?

wagner said...

http://magliarosa.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/canibais.jpg

Name said...

#Michael
Make that ten a three at most.

wagner said...

magliarosa.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/canibais.jpg

Salty Seattle said...

Great.

Now, I have to leash my bike, when I'm forced to walk it.

Next thing ya know, I'll have to 'pick up' after it too.

At least, I get to enjoy the fact that it's Friday. Have a good weekend!!

grog said...

Floydian slip?
FLUN KWIZ

Anonymous said...

pong-titfer technology

ken e. said...

@anon 1:46

toronto has a strange relationship with the rest of canada, they're like our "Archie Bunker".

CommieCanuck said...

Did Commie Canuck write that Canadian Cycling Test? Some of thase answers are snarkily familiar.

There only only six people in Canada who are literate in English, so some of us wear many hats.

Those stupid columns trivialize road deaths on bikes and in cars, it's now an acceptable way to die. Last year worldwide 1.2 million people died in car crashes and 50 million more were injured. In response to these tragic numbers, Ford is putting the internet in cars.

Meanwhile, a fraction of a percent of those numbers died of H1N1 and the whole world went apeshit last fall.

Meh.

CommieCanuck said...

toronto has a strange relationship with the rest of canada, they're like our "Archie Bunker"

Archie Bunker? That's Fort McMurray, Alberta.

Toronto is the douchebag cousin with the little trimmed beard constantly talking on a Bluetooth earpiece. He's talking about how many lattes he had this morning.

bikesgonewild said...

...BIKE MOVE...
...COOL SHIT...

...SMUG NESS...
...OVER DONE...

...& where where was the help from boulder's fix gear hipsters ???...

3G said...

303B TCHZ!

Boulder...26 square miles surrounded by reality. It doesn't get any more smug or nauseating than that town.

bikesgonewild said...

...commiecanuk...we've butted heads before in the past but you are 'spot fucking on' as regards the trivialization of cycling & other vehicular 'road deaths' & how they've now become "acceptable", especially in comparison to the overly made up concerns regarding h-1 n-1...

...as regards ford putting internet capability in vehicles ???...ya, great fucking idea...

...brilliant marketing logic..."ford quality...ford tough...let us distract you from our poor quality by offering you one more thing to distract you from your actual driving"...

...people who can't walk & chew gum at the same time can now talk & text on their cellphone while comparing internet info/bullshit with their friends as they drive...

...amazing un-prescient...

My name is Jonas said...

HAIL WEEZER!

J.J.

CommieCanuck said...

The following is a list of acceptable ways to die:

1. At 102 years old, during sex.

==end of list===

Anonymous said...

whether hipster or corporate (is there a difference?) fixed gear bikes are the ride of choice for smug douchebaggy know nothing yuppie poser assholes.

Shaun said...

@Anon 1:42 PM

Who the fuck knows? It's fucking custum! Can't you read?

CommieCanuck said...

damn... I just ordered a pista in cabon fiber.

ant1 said...

CC - ...with a girl, nah, two girls a fifth your age.

Shu-Sin said...

shaun... cut anon some slack. not everyone has ridden a custom bike before. some of us would need training wheels if we ever had to ride one.

P & S said...

it does not matter what the bonus question says - the answer is still Pub

Anonymous said...

Boulder= Mile high

think about it...everything was trucked in, grips, tires, tofu/beans, the only thing local is the smugness.

stream of nothing said...

smug....

Kim said...

A review, sort of. I disdain of the word review.

http://spo-r-tinglife.blogspot.com/2010/06/on-being-bike-snob.html

Anonymous said...

I always wondered how to spell "tuque".

Lincoln said...

http://vimeo.com/9824201

Fabian said...

AYHHMMMS

All You Haters Help Me Move My Stuff

Anonymous said...

You don't need gas to move this ass. Can't watch that enough.

Anonymous said...

There's a reason why China and India are the fastest growing car markets. They are sick of moving all their crap around on bikes.

Andy said...

E-Bay special! Bid on your favorite part of a banged up Raleigh!

http://cgi.ebay.com/Vintage-Raleigh-Grand-Prix-Bicycle-Bike-Choice-Parts-/350363776460?cmd=ViewItem&pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item51934ef5cc

NO! You can't have the whole thing, life is too hard here in Montana!

wishiwasmerckx said...

Ant1, at my age, I like to have sex with two girls at once. That way, if I fall asleep, they will have somebody to talk to.

PCLA said...

Critical Ass and good ol' LAPD excessive force rear their ugly heads yet again:

http://www.laweekly.com/2010-06-10/news/bicyclists-clash-with-lapd/

justride said...

hey Bikesnob,

Canada's National Hardware store now carrying a carbon road bike, probably next to the charcoal BBQ. Worth a look - Overlord made in TW. I guess they're meaning to compete with the entry level IBD stock. In my city CT can barely assemble ss kids bikes properly.

http://www.canadiantire.ca/AST/browse/5/SportsRec/BikesAccessories/BikesRoad/PRD~0711449P/Overlord%2B700C%2BCFX-1%2BMen%2527s%2BRoad%2BBicycle.jsp?locale=en#BVQAWidgetID

cyclegoddess said...

Queen of Mtns, Oz!

cyclegoddess said...

Anon 1238 ..um I think that would be ( as one of the females of the pack here) MY job.

cyclegoddess said...

Guppy, that was one of the reasons I avoided Canberras. High UV index.
Not so bad for the 10 min or so of ride but a hour ride to and from( clothes) still not a good idea.

Cosmopoof said...

nice removal!

gih said...

I love biking, this Race in Italy is such a great event.

Anonymous said...

Any pics of the latest not-really-naked-bike ride forthcoming? I'mso looking forward to them. Especially if the gut with the beard and helmet mirror is there. Seriously.

Dave said...

I thought to the Canadian quiz was Michael Barry

McGrath said...

I'm ok with the Cisco ad. I wonder if they made it deliberately to attract BSNYC powered exposure

Pontius Pilate said...

HAIL CSZR

-P.P.

theshepherdsdog said...

i say replace your helmet every two years. thats it.

shoppingugg said...

One of the most elegant Christian Louboutin which no lady would like to step out ever would be the Christian Louboutin Pumps ; not only because Christian Louboutin Boots would be comfortable but the design is so well done that it would go with almost everything that one wears. It is quite understandable that one would be practicing wearing Christian Louboutin Sandals and one would need to wear different kinds of attire especially, when one needs to go out for work.

In 2002, christian audigier brand came into the public eye when hardy shirt was approached by Ku USA, Inc. The company was interested in producing a clothing line that would feature Hardy's artwork. Hardy Life immediately took off, and in only two years became a major fashion spotlight. hardy shirts line skyrocketed in 2004 with the help of French designer Christian Audigier, who shares Hardy's passion for bold, colorful art and design. The primary force behind the rise of Von Dutch, Audigier linked hardy shirts to the celebrity world.

Even though the scarpe Hogan is lightweight and flexible, comfort was in no way compromised. hogan donna made sure to include ample cushioning. The collar and the tongue of Hogan scarpe uomo are heavily padded which lends to a very cozy feel while on the foot. This Hogan uomo in the collar provides crucial protection and support to assist in avoiding injury.

longge said...

You can admire the look of a classic louis vuitton handbags . There are lots of women who fit this bill, of course. However, not every woman has the massive funds available to go out to the Louis vuitton bags boutique and get that louis vuitton that strike their fancy the most. Nor are most of us willing and able to wait the standard several years to get that call that lv is finally available.

dinoibo said...

Sesli sohbet Sesli chat
Seslisohbet Seslichat
Sesli sohbet siteleri Sesli chat siteleri
Sesli Chat
Sohbet Sesli siteler
Sohbet siteleri Chat siteleri
Sohbet merkezi chat merkezi
Sesli merkezi sesli Sohbet merkezi
Sesli chat merkezi Sohbetmerkezi
Sesli Sohbet Sesli Chat
SesliSohbet Sesli chat siteleri
Sesli sohbet siteleri SesliChat
Sesli Sesli siteler
Seslimuhabbet sesli muhabbet
sesli sohbet sesli chat siteleri
sesli sohbet siteleri sesli chat
seslisohbet seslichat
seslikent sesli kent
sesli sohbet sesli sohbet siteleri
sesli chat sesli chat siteleri
seslisohbet seslichat

Anonymous said...

herve leger
herve leger dress
herve leger bandage dress
herve leger sale
herve leger dress sale
Herve Leger Dresses
Herve Leger Skirts

Anonymous said...

herve leger
herve leger dress
herve leger bandage dress
herve leger sale
herve leger dress sale

Anonymous said...

moncler
moncler jackets
Moncler Online
moncler sale
moncler clothing
Moncler Women
Moncler Jacken
Moncler Men
Moncler Kids
Moncler Jassen
Moncler Uomo
Moncler Vest
Moncler Accessories
moncler coats
piumini moncler
moncler branson
moncler jas

Anonymous said...

moncler
moncler jackets
Moncler Online
moncler sale
moncler clothing

Anonymous said...

P90X
p90x results
p90x workout
p90x reviews
p90x dvd set
p90x workout schedule
p90x extreme home fitness
p90x nutrition plan
p90x exercise program
p90x torrent
p90x dvd
p90x sale
Shaun T INSANITY Workout 13 DVDs
RevAbs
ChaLEAN
Brazil Butt Lift
10 Minute Trainer

Anonymous said...

P90X
p90x results
p90x workout
p90x reviews
p90x dvd set
p90x workout schedule
p90x extreme home fitness
p90x nutrition plan
p90x exercise program
p90x torrent
p90x dvd
p90x sale
Shaun T INSANITY Workout 13 DVDs
RevAbs
ChaLEAN
Brazil Butt Lift
10 Minute Trainer

Anonymous said...

P90X
p90x results
p90x workout
p90x reviews
p90x dvd set
p90x workout schedule
p90x extreme home fitness
p90x nutrition plan
p90x exercise program
p90x torrent
p90x dvd
p90x sale
Shaun T INSANITY Workout 13 DVDs
RevAbs
ChaLEAN
Brazil Butt Lift
10 Minute Trainer

yo said...

BEEN CAUGHT BUTTERING!!!

yo said...

BEEN CAUGHT BUTTERING!!!

wild africa said...

The Rank Herve Leger Dress fashion shows are often populated with celebrities and famous actresses dressed in Herve Leger bandage dresses.Famous fans, Lindsay Lohan, Rihanna and Kate Bosworth.

ekle paylas said...

nice blog Thanks for sharing. voicesohbet was really very nice.
sesli chat siteleri sesli sohbet
sesli sohbet siteleri sesli chat
seslichat seslisohbet
sesli siteleri chat siteleri
sohbet siteleri sesli siteler
voice sohbet sesli sohbet siteleri
sesli sohbet seslisohbet
sohbet siteleri sesli chat siteleri
seslichat sesli chat
herkesburda herkes burda
sohbetmerkezi sohbetmerkezi

fixie bikes said...

that thing is flat lining.