Thursday, May 27, 2010

Midnight Oil: How Can We Sleep When Our Beds Are Burning?

I'm as critical of "social networking" as anybody. At its best, though, it is at the heart of an emerging "mass consciousness," and it may even herald a new era in which "community" transcends geography. For example, as I make my way through the morass of humanity that is New York City, I can know at a glance what people in Portland are thinking. And when it comes to riding bicycles, you can bet dollars to Voodoo donuts that they are thinking about how great it is to live in Portland:

Well, isn't that nice? I hear you can also lick the lamp posts while you wait, and that they taste like peppermint sticks. I read this "Tweet" yesterday evening just after completing what is commonly known as a "reverse commute," meaning that I was riding into Manhattan while most people were riding out of it. In a sense, I was a commuting "salmon," and from this head-on vantage point I marveled at the determination and outright aggression with which many people rode. Indeed, it's almost inconceivable that such a "Tweet" could ever issue forth from the iPhone, BlackBerry, or other handheld device of a New Yorker. When I stop for people trying to cross the street, the horns start blaring, the guy on the brakeless fixed-gear runs into me, and the pedestrian looks at me like I'm a moron.

In any case, as I descended the Manhattan Bridge bike path, I marveled at the clumps of cyclists on the ascent, heads down and fighting for the imaginary KoM points on offer at the top of the span. Nü-Freds attacking in my lane looked me dead in the eye, daring me not to swerve and make way for them. This photo I took at the foot of the bridge should give you just some idea of how serious New York city commuting can be:

Note the rider on the left, equipped with track bike and inverted "transients/homeless"-style drop bars. He is racing for the coveted Manhattan Bridge bike path holeshot, but he's not going to get it if the guy riding a ten speed and wearing a "The Nation" t-shirt can help it. They'd both better be careful, though, because I'd bet scheckels to suicide levers that the rider on the road bike behind them is about to launch an attack. Meanwhile, a pedestrian is walking confidently in the bike lane, and despite the fact that I have the right of way it's he who looks nonplussed. I'm sure if I stopped for him Portland-style, he'd just give me the finger.

Of course, hustle and/or bustle is in many ways an unavoidable component of living in a big city. At the same time, though, it's worth noting that the so-called "bike culture" seems unable to police itself. In fact, so negligent are we in this regard that Judge Judy has had to step in and pick up the slack. This is the "bike cultural" equivalent of martial law. Not only has Judge Judy taken on a case involving a "bike salmon," but she's now taking on "fixiedom" too. As you've no doubt seen by now on blogs like fixed-gear freestyle impresario and streetwear enthusiast Prolly's, two bicycle messengers recently went head to fashionably-coiffured head over a burnt mattress and a missing "fixie:"



Here is the bicycle in question:


Here is the plaintiff, Christopher Villanella, showing Judge Judy his sweet hand tattoo:

A rose tattoo by any other name would be as poorly executed.

Here's the defendant, John Foraker:

He's explaining to Judge Judy that his own hand tattoo is pending completion of his "forearm work."

Notice they're both wearing their best "formal flannels" for the occasion. Anyway, Villanella and Foraker are bike messengers who are roommates in Brooklyn--or at least they used to be before Villanella's mattress was set on fire and his fixie stolen, both of which he blames on Foraker. Incidentally, it's worth noting that, while bicycle messengers trade on the notion that their work is difficult and dangerous, the truth is it's really only riding your bike around all day, and if you're a person who likes to ride your bike it's really quite pleasant. The difficult part of being a messenger is the voluntary part, which is the partying and self-adornment. Getting paid to ride your bike is easy; drinking all night, being hung over, and spending all your money on intoxicants, tattoo ink, and bike parts is difficult and takes its toll. Villanella and Foraker are a case in point--or at least they will be in a few years. As of now they still exhibit the soft edges of the recent post-collegiate transplant.

The first matter in the case is Villanella's burned mattress. Foraker claims the two were arguing, the argument got physical, and they knocked a candle from the nightstand onto the bed:


Now, an astute prosecutor would no doubt point out that the number one cause of burning candles being knocked over onto beds is not roommate arguments; it is in fact sweet, sweet lovemaking. Submitted as evidence: "Turn Off The Lights" by the late, great Teddy Pendergrass, complete with lyrics.



If there were also traces of scented oil in the bedding then this is an open-and-shut case.

Villanella, on the other hand, claims he wasn't even there, much less being slathered in burning hot oils to the strains of a lush Gamble and Huff arrangement. Instead, he says he smelled smoke from the other room and found the mattress had been torched:

Foraker, who is a study in childish facial expressions, flashes his best look of indignant "hipster" incredulity:

Here is the mattress, and indeed the burn pattern is rather revealing:

Surely no candle could have caused this, and at this point we can dismiss both physical altercations and lovemaking sessions. Instead, the burn marks point towards either an ill-advised attempt to rid their home of bedbugs, or else a tragic marijuana-smoking "wake and bake" accident. Speaking of their home, both Villanella's and Foraker's parents were no doubt watching this episode, and as soon as they saw the sorry state of their children's quarters they no doubt offered to increase the monthly check if they promised to move to Park Slope, or at least send the maid over to clean it up for them.

Next, we move on to the matter of Villanella's missing bike. Foraker claims that he was heading into Manhattan in order to see a band play, but his bicycle had a flat tire. So, he elected to borrow Villanella's bike, which was subsequently stolen:

This is actually a pretty solid argument, since I have no trouble believing that it would take Mr. Foraker well over an hour to repair a punctured inner tube. By the way, here is Foraker's best look of "hipster" bafflement. This is exactly how he looks at his bike when it has a flat tire:

Villanella, on the other hand, claims that Foraker took his bike and sold it:

He says that after the bike disappeared, Foraker was even throwing a bunch of money around. (I would imagine this involved suspicious high-rolling "hipster" behavior like ordering that 15th PBR and upgrading his knuckle tattoos from regular to bold face.) Villanella also claims his bike is worth $3,500, and that he even "handbuilt it with the shop owner." Here he is handing the receipt to the bailiff:


"Yeah, that's a pretty expensive bike," he observes:


While I have trouble believing that a De Bernardi track bike is worth $3,500, I don't have any trouble at all believing that Villanella paid $3,500 for his De Bernardi track bike. Like many new fixed-gear riders, Villanella ascribes almost mystical significance to the process of putting together a bicycle. This is evidenced by the manner in which they will often use the word "build" as a noun (as in "Nice build!")--or, like Villanella, say that he "handbuilt" his De Bernardi. In truth, we're talking about "assembly," and when it comes to fixed-gear bicycles this really involves nothing more complicated than bolting a few things to a few other things. Sure, building a wheel from scratch is challenging, but otherwise it's basically just tightening some fasteners. One wonders if the "fixerati" also say "Nice build!" when they see a piece of fully-assembled piece of Ikea furniture, or say they "handbuilt" their lamp because they screwed the lightbulb in themselves. (This is not to downplay the significance of "curating" your lamp by choosing a bulb with the appropriate wattage, of course.) In any case, here's Villanella's receipt from the shop:


At this point, I headed over to the website of the shop in question to peruse some of their other "builds." It was indeed a "tarck" de force. Here's a "handbuilt" Pista Concept:


Here's a nice hair build:

If there's not already a combination hair-and-fixie salon in Brooklyn, there really needs to be.

Here's Villanelli himself, using an obscene variation on the "doucheclamation point:"


And what have we here? It's our good friend Mr. Foraker, perhaps throwing some dirty money around by treating his young ladyfriend to a "tarck" bike shopping spree:


It even looks like they "handbuilt" a bike for Floyd Landis:


Meanwhile, back in the courtroom, the mountain of evidence is building:


And it's about to topple over onto Mr. Foraker. Here he is displaying the classic "overwhelmed hipster" look as he attempts to perform the rudimentary mathematical calculations that would yield the value of his own bicycle:

Note that he looks upward in an attempt to distract Judge Judy with the intricacy of his neck tattoo.

Unfortunately for Foraker, Judge Judy is not impressed with his "neckwork," his designer haircut, his nimble face, or indeed any of it, and she decides against him. There are a number of lessons all of us can learn from this poignant episode of "Judge Judy." Among these are the value of friendship, the importance of fire safety, the fleeting nature of material wealth, and of course the tender romance of a shared shower. Most importantly, though, we've learned that these two hapless bike messengers are already long overdue for their own sitcom:

Not only does life imitate art, but it also tends to parody itself.

132 comments:

Anonymous said...

First?

fierce panties said...

Only Judy Can Judge Me

Anonymous said...

Whatevs.

Astroluc (Find me on Tumblr and Instagram @Astroluc) said...

OIL B P BAD

g said...

Damn! Frilly for the win!! Congrats

PawnShop said...

No peppermint lampposts in Minneapolis. And if you lick one, your tongue will freeze to it. It's how we keep the PDXers in check.

Anonymous said...

Just missed the sprint

Nogocyclist said...

Top 1000

I think?

yofilly said...

Top ten! And now I'm off to the beach...

Happy holiday weekend, everyone. Go Flyers!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Finally, after two years in the peleton.

Bite me Vito!

Fingerbang Assistant said...

Top 12.

ringcycles said...

Congrats Frilly! But becareful taunting Vito, lets just say he doesn't sling mud.

rural 14 said...

ant 2nd! Finally 1st in the ant race. Though I broke my foot last night tripping downstairs over the dog.

fierce panties said...

@frilly
strong finish! I had you in my helmet mirror until 12:06!

PawnShop said...

Oh great. Now that song is stuck in my head. At least it's not "Dancing Queen".

DO2U BABY

fierce panties said...

After today's post I feel like I need a shower (alone) and tattoo removal.

ken e. said...

well, hello!

I am the engine. said...

After todays posts, I also need a shower, and I need to have my piercings removed, thereby preventing further identification. Unfortunately, it appears that Judge Judy just like Gerry Springer, and WWF is not professionally scripted.

Anonymous said...

Pawn shop, you suck, no I have that song stuck in my head. Please do not use your humour for evil.

fierce panties said...

Hey Snob,
Aren't you getting any respect on the commute? It looks like the tenspeeder is smiling at you and wanting his front reflector autographed.

Paul Bowen said...

I knew Foraker was guilty before I read the words; what a slimy looking little four-letter.

BURN BEDZ
NICK BYKZ
HRBL TWAT

Nogocyclist said...

Judge Judy set no precedent in this case, she just reviewed the facts and made a judgement.

The only joke in this segment was the lame mention of the cost of the bikes. She acted uninformed that all bikes are not the junk available from the big box retailers.

The real reason this segment was even picked was because of the two young men. There is something for everyone with these two.

For old foggies (I am not one, I still got a year): Tattoos are OK, but they should be where you can cover them up if need arises. To old foggies, these guys are freaks.

Women (and others): Some people will watch attractive young men, no matter what they are doing. Check out the comments, most of them were about the attractiveness of the defendant.

Non Cyclist: The joke that these idiots spent how much for a bike?

For Cyclist: These idiots spent how much for this bike?

The participants: They do get paid to act like idiots on TV, don't they?

fierce panties said...

Foraker gives bicycle thieves a bad name. He probably stole the bike ironically. What a poseur (pretentious for poser!)

Anonymous said...

Are rents so high in NYC that any roomie at all will do?

grog said...

Sure, building a wheel from scratch is challenging, but otherwise it's basically just tightening some fasteners.
NIPPLE WRENCH

Byrd said...

Mr. Foraker has a penchant for sleeveless denim jackets and rubenesque females...

BIGG GRLZ

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Fat Bottomed Girls make the rockin world go round!

Seattle_Mike said...

Any comment on this great video - http://bit.ly/cvKKK7 - scraper bikes in Oakland California. As far as I know it's unique to Oakland but who knows what the hippie fixters will ride next? (This was posted in today's Rocketboom)

Dr. Feel Good said...

That Bike Portland guy must ride a dutch bike. His name is Maus and he used the word "loove". No doubt his bike has a skirt guard.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

try again, --> Mishpatim.

leroy said...

I was anticipating more of a reprise of Farrah Fawcett's "The Burning Bed."

Oh well, at least there was a happy ending. My recollection is that both sides get paid for letting Judge Judy decide their dispute.

mikeweb said...

Go frilly!!

Anonymous said...

A precendent setter no doubt:

MLIV NILI

v.

WITE TRSH

Anonymous said...

the only thing this tells me is that y'all are fucking jealous that they got paid and you didn't think of it first. and anybody with any common sense who isn't a raging retard knows that when you get an estimate from bike shop and you submit to insurance claims/judge shows, whatever, that they bump the worth. it's called MAKING A PROFIT.

Anonymous said...

Glad to see BP finally capped that runaway well, now I can enjoy riding my bike again with smugness, knowing the oil will not seep into my backyard from the Gulf. Now on to the lawsuits!

Anonymous said...

PODIUM!

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 1:09pm,

I'm already reeling from the allegations that "Judge Judy" may be scripted. Please don't also shake my faith in the insurance industry by telling me that people are inflating their claims.

What's next, cheating in pro cycling?!?

Disillusioned,

--RTMS

leroy said...

But what I can't figure out is which one is Dharma and which one is Greg.

Dumptruck said...

On the topic of tarck bike assembly, yes it can be reduced to something as simple as fastening parts together, though there are some subtleties that put the task beyond the skills of seemingly competent people. As an 7 year veteran of having to put up with questions like "why does that cost so much?" and "you mean I shouldn't have left it out in the snow" and "You forgot to put anti-rotation washers that were omitted by the manufacturer on my friend's bike and while you were busy trying to repair the bike at no cost I wasn't offered a beer by your coworkers who started drinking at a perfectly reasonable hour on Saturday", I demand an apology for reducing my experience to a triviality of bolting things on correctly. Sometimes things also need to be adjusted, like hub bearing preloads, or user attitudes.

Unknown said...

Just saw Villanella (a friend of a friend) with this exact bike about 3 days ago.

Pontius Pilate said...

HAIL CSZR

-P.P.

Thee Punk Rock Chef said...

wasn't aware that flannel was back in style...for the 4th time? Mike Watt will be happy to hear this.

Arlo said...

'a nice hair build'... priceless.

hillbilly said...

FRILLY!!!! way to be!

I was just in Portland last weekend and couldn't believe how every single cyclist stopped at every red light. I also didn't see any moving at a speed >than very very slow.

Concerned 2.0 said...

That looks exactly like Floyd Landis! Ahh ic so in between sending inflamatory emails and hacking peoples websites he has been trying to get into the fixed gear scene. At least they dont check for drug use and its definetly more accepted. Will he be riding Mash SF's fixed tour of california? Go Landis ill cheer for you!

Great post today!

Stig said...

I was perpendicular commuting yesterday when I caused a three bike pile up just by going through a green light.

At least look when you run a red.

PawnShop said...

The fixed gear scene actually does check for drug use. If your urine's clean, they make you go back to using derailleurs & brakes.

SHFT STOP

Anonymous said...

That's not Floyd, that's his brother Lloyd, but everything's cool. Johann's already been on the phone to "Big Tony" over in Girona about deep sixing that refrigerator! "We don't need nobody swabbin that fuckin box for DNA samples!

Anonymous said...

maybe bsnyc has some meglomedia pull and can get jobst brandt a guest-judge slot on JJ. That would be worth watching.

Some Guy on the Innernets said...

I like it!

Only Jobst can Judge Judy.

Anonymous said...

That chic with the blue blouse in the Judge Judy assistance looks seriously hot. I wanna rub her all over with Finish Line oils and give her a special treat, she's soo sweet, yeah. There's something that I wanna do to her yeah, so just turn off the motherlovin lights, let's take a sip of a cold cold wine, and dance to the music nice and slow, looks like another love TKO, let's st-tay togetheeeer.

portland anonymous said...

with material like that tweet and that video, how could you go wrong? right in your wheelhouse, rtms! well played!

Shaun said...

Good post today BSNYC. In other words:

NICE BILD

Test Tickle said...

furthering the goo goo ga ga commenters regarding Foraker and his "dimples." i'm pretty sure those are not dimples, but scars from having cheek piercings.

either way, just wait 'til those young 'uns are in their '40s and '50s and peeping their not so fresh tats...

regrets anyone?

balls.

mikeweb said...

They give back to the community, dontcha know.

V.D. - the gift that keeps on giving.

db said...

@Leroy: Are you sure it isn't "Will & Grace"?

mikeweb said...

or Cagney & Lacey?

Anonymous said...

Hey Snob you may have a book and TWO successful blogs but I'm an anonymous Hutch owner so take that sucker.

3G said...

BOZM BUDZ
WEST SIDE


Very very douchey hairways in all of these pictures.

10,000 Aches said...

I think Thelma and Louise!

Anonymous said...

BROOOTAL

Rick Donkey said...

I'm gonna say Simon $ Simon...Villanella is gruff and tuff like Gerald McRaney.

Kevin said...

Of course, Foraker no doubt will challenge the results of this contest, pointing a finger at Villanelli and other messengers, accusing them all of doping. I hear that's the trend in the bike community: when you don't get your way, make sure no one else does either.

Anonymous said...

I was reminded that if I ever won the comments race, I would post the cami shot. So, without further ado, I dedicate this win to WIWM and here ya go!

mikeweb said...

Of course, if either of the litigants had this on their chest, it would've been an open and shut case.

BL, any case law on this?

mikeweb said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
mikeweb said...

frilly, speaking for myself, I wouldn't mind at all if you kept that profile pic there until the TdF is finished. Or longer.

Anonymous said...

Beavis & Butthead

heh, heh..fire, fire

bikesgonewild said...

...1STP LACE...

...CAMI SOLE...

Anonymous said...

Snob, you didn't give proper credit to isolation helmet for the Judge Judy material. Frilly, nice cami shot.

mander said...

RTMS, great post. Frilly, many thanks.

Anonymous said...

Hey Frills--

How rude of me, I failed to take note that you won the Palmes! Congrats!
BL

ervgopwr said...

This was sure to be a popular post with the two NY tards who pour hot wax on the bed and can't fix their flats; but NOW I expect hundreds more views of the comments, once the podium race results get posted on cycling news.

NIPL VIEW

g said...

Is it my birthday?!

NICE BOOB

Marc said...

Rosie palm tattoo... that's just nasty. Keep that hand in your pocket! No, wait... ugh!

Udder said...

That receipt for the $3500 bike looks like the kind we make up here at the office when we turn in our expense reports.

Anonymous said...

I know him, the guy with the nice hair build.. and some of the others too. They're all really nice people. so what if they don't choose to shop at men's warehouse like bikesnob & his buttoned down ilk.

Odile Lee said...

Q of M first in Oz!

Odile Lee said...

(Must be quinoa frilly!nice one)

Anonymous said...

Mattress photo shows evidence of hot wax enema activity and, as often happens, the ensuing fight. My guess as to the non-plussed recipient?

look+of+hipster+incredulity.jpg

Yes, he can wistfully smile about it now.

Shu-Sin said...

had to make rain in manhattan and missed the sprint.
JJ would be baffled by the price of a schwinn tarck from back in the day.

Anonymous said...

@ Anon 4:26

At Men's Warehouse you can get a complete suit cheaper than one pair of those lame fixter/messenger designer jeans! I'd be a hipster, but I can't afford it!!!

Shu-Sin said...

frilly, can i be your water boy? i'll make sure you win more often.

Never trust whitey said...

Two dunces proving American excess is alive and well

wishiwasmerckx said...

Frills, I'm speechless.

Anonymous said...

Didn't everyone lose interest in Burzum the moment the band appeared on the Gummo soundtrack? Brooklyn is an embarrassment.

Anonymous said...

Those 2 dolts would fit right in at the Tea party - especially the arsonist.

mr. steiner said...

I do not look like Landis and I resent the comparison. In my defense I am making a strange face in that photo.

Anonymous said...

References to two Aussie 1980s hard(ish) rock bands, flanelette and thievery - it could almost be Broadmeadows.

Anonymous said...

in the photo captioned -It even looks like they "handbuilt" a bike for Floyd Landis- is that Optimus Prime on the far left?

Anonymous said...

Judge Judy with her martial law?

Better to have had Marshal Law 1998-2000 (Sammo Hung) judge the miscreant messenger. If you ever saw Sammo in Pedicab Driver you would be commenting on the Hong Kong bike commute more.

Bike Fu.

Anonymous said...

I follow the podium race with what I thought was indifference but I have to say seeing frilly up there as first made me smile.

Anonymous said...

I follow the podium race with what I thought was indifference but I have to say seeing frilly up there as first made me smile.

Jorgé Curiouso. said...

I remember being 24.

Pinchfinger said...

Snob,
What is most fascinating of all is, where did they get those vampire chicks with the moving eyeballs and lips sitting behind those two guys? It was like watching a claymation film frame-by frame. Enthralling modern drama.
Thanks for the hipster blow-by-blow.

Salty and Sore said...

Agent 99?

Perhaps, today.

I am the engine said...

I finally caught up on the old posts, you need to have a complete section in your new book on religion and fixies.

It seems to not be a logical marriage made in heaven. In fact its unholy spawn seems to fuck up everything.

Bikes and religion don't seem to mix well. I have always suspected recumbent trike people to be unitarians.

Mormons on bikes are not looking to convert tatooed freds, they are looking for fresh betty's.

Next we will have scientologists trying to enlist others on fixies. Everything is not right in the world.

Salty and Sore said...

Way to go Team!

Ladies taken all the points today.

Anonymous said...

Mr. Steiner, you do look like mr landis, even with a funny face.

I need a new chain said...

$150.00 chain? FaWTF? i need to quit trading stocks, and be a bike messenger.

PCLA said...

The Kooks of Hazard:
Bo=Foraker, Luke=Villanela
Daisy=Judge Judy in "daisy dukes" jean cutoff short-shorts

ce said...

Anon 6:10,

Not to mention the sleeveless denim jacket, tight jeans etc. I'm thinking these hipsters would be better described as Nu Bogans or Bogans 2.0. Of course the thing that upsets my theory is that this lot probably don't have the fortitude to hold down a job at the Ford factory. And, probably don't have the riding skillz to get home from the shops with a carton of tinnies under the arm while eating a meat pie.

ce

Judge Jobst said...

"Oh oh! Here we go again in spreading myth and lore. Fixed gear riding is an old fetish that has no merit other than it trains track riders to not stop pedaling to coast, as it were, because this is a sure way to be thrown off their bicycle. Road riders occasionally get tossed that way when riding track bikes. There is no exercise gained with a fixed gear that cannot be better and more safely gained riding the same gear with a freewheel.
...
You seem to have discovered that fixed gear riding is a state of mind and an esoteric subject among
bicyclists.
...
I don't see what the lack of a freewheel has to do with the speed with which you push a gear, except downhill where the fixed gear doesn't do you much good anyway. How do you feel that you have no freewheel when you TT along a road?"

ce said...

Judge Jobst,

You don't seem to be in on the joke. Or, am I just not in on your joke within a joke?

ce

Jehovah said...

Judge Not, Lest Ye Be Judy.

Salty Seattle said...

Okay, just read the comments.

Wow, Frilly!

I'll say it again, way to go!!!

Anonymous said...

is john foraker the son of the CEO
of Annies, aka the macaroni company? google this...

wp said...

ROSI PALM

(and her five sisters)

assembled! thanks snobbie...handbuilt my ass.

prolly said...

COOL SHOP

Salty and Sore said...

@prolly

interested...

Odile Lee said...

ce -
Yep.Bogans all the way. Im surprised Cold Chisel wasn't the soundtrack.

Frilly, in terms of breasticles - I am DEFINTLY your domestique!!

Midnight Oil - hidden BP ref, nice one, matey!!I'll throw another shrimp on the barbie!

Odile Lee said...

What with the facial hair, flannies, greasy hairdo's and bogan-like lifestyles- can any woman actually find them sexy? ewww.( It's like kissing Ned Nickerson.)

Give me 'shaved leg goodness', freshly washed lycra and the pervading smell of embrocation anytime.

Anonymous said...

-Nonplussed-
That word, you keep using it. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Anonymous said...

was that jim Greco picking up his very own "hand built" fixie? Also, I think perhaps the over fond useage of the term "hand built" hass to do with all the robotically built bikes in every other shop. Robots have great unions in the bicycle world, doncha know

Ugh I Say said...

The worlds of hipsters and trailer trash have dovetailed in these two idiots. And such thick necks they have!

Anonymous said...

bizzid FTW

Marc said...

Very informative blog regarding the social networking. Today every one knows about the social networking. I think this is very critical.

CommieCanuck said...

This just in...

Floyd Landis accuses Frilly of doping and influencing the UCI in the panties-for-positives scandal.

ant1 said...

nice work Frilly!

grog said...

FRILLY SCORES !!!
and remains on top all week !

Got the book and read through the beginning of the end of the beginning. Highly recommended for everyone here. Good clean fun.

Anonymous said...

what the hell is happening over there in brooklyn? has it become mandatory to have full body tats, fixed gear bikes and overly contrived hairways? Where will all of these brooklyn histerboomers go in 10 years time when thier trust funds run out? they certainly won't be employable with all of the goofy ink. someone should start a charity for these sorry assholes.

Anonymous said...

These dudes were just on Judge Pirro as well. Odd. Trying to get attention me thinks.

Bob Fike said...

Those shirts aren't even flannel, the material looks like some sort of plaid cotton knit.

Bob Fike said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

What about the chicks in the background? Ho do these two losers get like 6 chicks to show up to support them in court? Whoa!

Fergus said...

Beds are Burning is a good Oils song but nothing on US Forces, or Power and the Passion. In fact the whole album '10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1' is a classic. I dont think the Oils cycled very much tho.

fixie bikes said...

that's a good tweet.

strangerthanfiction said...

ROFL at $3500 for a tarck bike with Nitto bars and a KMC chain. hahahhahaa

Anonymous said...

I'm a hipster saving up for neck tats and a tarck bike. I still laughed my ass off at this. You sir are very funny without being overly offensive, thanks for a good laugh.

Anonymous said...


............Nice..^_^v................