Friday, May 21, 2010

BSNYC Friday Cavalcade of Questions!

Even though it's still "Bike Month," the "mainstream" media only seems to be interested in one cycling-related subject at the moment. I hesitate even to mention it again, but I think everyone knows what I'm referring to, and it involves a scandalous email and someone named "Oydflay Andislay." In order to distract myself from the seemingly constant coverage, I've been indulging in one of my favorite hobbies, which is "curating" submissions to The New Yorker's cartoon caption contest. Granted, I don't actually submit them, but like Buddhist monks crafting sand mandalas I feel the value is in the act, not the reward. Here is my latest submission, which I feel stands well above the winners:


By the way, if you've never seen "The Abyss," it's a movie from the late 1980s directed by James Cameron, and it was sort of a wet "Avatar:"

(All You Haters Finger My Watery Doppelganger)

Of course, the real tragedy of the whole "Oydflay Andislay" debacle is that it is siphoning public attention away from Bike To Work Day, which is today. Here in New York City, this involves Transportation Alternatives-"curated" pit stops in various parts of the city, presumably to revive the unfortunate, perspiring, and delirous people who have not ridden bicycles since last year's Bike To Work Day. In the throes of exhaustion, it is not uncommon for novice bicycle commuters to hallucinate "Abyss"-like sweat creatures that attempt to convince them to abandon their bicycles and return to their cars, so presumably the staff at these pit stops has been trained to "talk them down" like in those "bad trip" tents they had at Woodstock.

Speaking of "bad trips," I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll know, and if you're wrong you'll see the inevitable conclusion of the narrow bar craze.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and, if you suspect something may be a hallucination, just poke it in the face.


--BSNYC/RTMS




(It's hard to stand on the podium in non-recessed "clits.")

1) Versus's coverage Stage 3 of the Amgen Tour of California was cut short by:






2) After a dignified start to the Giro d'Italia, Cadel Evans seems to have resumed his slap-fightin' ways.





3) The doping revolution will be:




4) This hybrid flat brim/cycling cap is:

--"Mad Hectic"
--"Adorned with cycling-centric imagery and striping"
--"Crazy Dorky"
--All of the above







5) "Loaded Bicycle Touring For _____":






6) "i believe" in:







7) Behold! The ________:






8) What's the most difficult part of riding a recumbent in a velodrome?





***Special "Currency of Groping"--Themed Bonus Question***



To review: the going rate for an "ass grab" in Williamsburg, Brooklyn is:



140 comments:

Anonymous said...

Half man, half amazing!

Steven Falkowski said...

BOO YA PETER GABRIEL

ant1 said...

ant1st!

Anonymous said...

BILLY

debichan1a said...

highest i've ever placed.

Shu-Sin said...

PNTEUS

Anonymous said...

yowza!

Anonymous said...

top 10!

singlespeedspinning said...

oh yeah

10,000 Aches said...

ASS GRAB

xyxax said...

A lot of people here in NYC are upset because there has yet been no announcement of when "Bike Back Home Day" will take place.

Anonymous said...

TAPE WORM

grog said...

love a good mojito
FUNK WIZZ

leroy said...

Dear BSNYC -- The free fruit smoothie distributed on the West Side Highway bike path this morning in celebration of Bike to Work Day stuck in my throat like a free fruit smoothie distributed on Bike to Work Day.  I now realize that I have to clear my conscience.

In 2006, CommieCanuck showed me the answers to your Friday quiz before you posted the questions.

Ant1, BGW, Jefe, Hillbilly, MikeWeb, and Eric K. also saw the answers, which had been kept in a Hellman's mayonnaise jar stashed in the salad crisper drawer of a refrigerator tended by Frilly.

I regret that I cannot return the money I have paid Bad Lawyer for my defense of anticipated legal proceedings.

I also regret not biking to something more interesting than work today.

I further regret that time my dog and I said we were going riding and instead polished off some cannoli, a quart of Hagen Daz and an Entemann's pound cake.

In addition, I regret that my dog has gotten his own email account and has threatened to go public with my dietary predilections.

I do not, however, regret telling the other commuters in the pace line riding across Reade Street this morning that my dog wears boxers under his bib shorts.  It's true and I have the photos.  Somewhere. Don't know why folks looked at me like I was hallucinating. It's not like my dog's the only one to ever make that faux pas.

ervgopwr said...

Leroy,

I think your dog made a faux paw...

db said...

I knew you were dirty, Leroy.

Pontiac Pilot said...

HALE CSZR

Cadel said...

Praise jesus! I got a perfect score today, next week I'll try for the double.

Lunchtime said...

More than $65 for a ballcap?
And I thought $13 cycling caps were overpriced. And they sometimes even advertise brands I use.

COLA VITA
JELY BELY

wp said...

blackjack

grog said...

Ikebay Obsnay,
Just ignore the dopers.
BAAD TRIP
RIDE NICE

ant1 said...

i don't really know how to reply to leroy's comments. he has been going through tough times as of late. do i plan to sue? no, these sorts of allegations do not merit even a reply. i wish him the best and hopes he finds a way to conquer his demons and return his life to normal.

Bad Lawyer said...

Floidrage!

yofilly said...

Wow! Top thirty and I already took the quiz!

"Normal T. Joey aka Pastor Rodney Burnap". Where do you find this stuff, Snobby?

Happy weekend, all!

xyxax said...

I think Bike to Work Day will be renamed "Wear your Helmet on your Handlebars Day".

thegock said...

actually, 10,000 Aches, it's

ASSS GRAB

unless you had some horrible accident like goin' over a guardrail on a descent and losing a digit on your right paw...just sayin'

howbout HINY GRAB?

Isolation Helmet said...

Snob I felt sorry for you yesterday getting mixed up in the whole doping issue. LA haters were trying to spread some more hate jumping down your throat there but I didn't see anything to warrant it in your post. You never said anyone was innocent of anything. Just that a guy who said he was innocent for four years and took money from people he convinced to believe him (sort of like Bernie Madoff in a way) now says he doped because "everyone was doing it". The big joke here is he makes it seem like he had no other choice.

Hairy Godboy said...

What is the nature of the connection between stupid bikes, stupid facial hair and stupid Jesus?

H4m $h4(|{ said...

BEHE MOTH

Cognorant said...

Snob,

You had me at "That fart....it looked just like me" The Abyss reference is unnecessary. (in my opinion)

Although I did enjoy "if you suspect something may be a hallucination, just poke it in the face."

Anonymous said...

" Bleuth theue wh-o-o-o-je... Ow."

PawnShop said...

I'm not dirty. My testosterone level is so high because I have a half dozen testicles.

NOTJ UICN

Jefe said...

Leroy, is that the version you told under oath, in your book, and received over a million dollars in contributions to defend? I did not steal the answers, but I might be doping ... maybe ...naah. Strike that.

Udder said...

FREE FLOYD!

Anonymous Coward said...

FREE BIRD

Was on a roll with the quiz till Jesus sank my chances. Guess he just felt like pressing the smite button.

mother PHUCKER said...

PHUCK IT!

Shaun said...

Cadel's madcap antics in the Giro smack of a cyclist that's jacked on steroids a la Floyd "The Roid" Landis. He is most definitely "rocking" the roids.

Pontius Pilate said...

HAIL CSZR

-P.P.

red neckerson said...

they tolt me saturday is slap a joo day

i ast the poe lease ifn we cood get in trouble if we did

they sed if we was peckerwoods thayd threw us in jail for beeing hater taters

but wince we is mooslems thayd consider it a cultural expression of our indignation for the joos for the oppression of the palestiner peeple

we called the kentucky buroe of tourism and ast ifn they was any joos neer viper

they said wed have to drive up to lexington to find any

well i aint doing it tomorrow we is drivng up to hazard to see if them hi skool fellers can whup the boys from glascow

and i tolt rikim not to get no ideals

sufferist said...

Hello-

Thanks for the picture of the monks making the sand mandala. They made one here in Tulsa and then threw it in the river. It was beautiful.

It's shaping up to be a good weekend here. The rain is gone and the hot is coming on.

-S

frilly said...

No power failure on my watch. Not that I was watching anything or that I can recall I was watching anything.

Leroy who?

mikeweb said...

In reference to Leroy's comments, I have no comment, only pity.

Now excuse me, I have to go look for my missing kitty, troopette.

bikesgonewild said...

...jeez, leroy, after all this time i'm actually relieved by your public admission...

...so that was simply leftover "hellmans mayonnaise" by the side of the road back in '06 (when the answers were hermetically sealed in the jar)...

...my first thought was "good lord but that leroy is a mighty, mighty man"...glad to know you're only human !!!...

g said...

All I have to say is screw Leroy! The time to clear his conscience is long past. Those of us who believed in him, gave to him, supported him and tanked the quiz causing us to have to watch some shitty fixie video over and over is unforgivable. Carry the weight of slightly soiled and translucent quiz answers to hell Leroy.

Fred said...

Hell yes, I'm doping. How do you think I grew this magnificent beard?

yogisurf said...

2010 Ride your bike to work day. My 10-year anniversary, 29,000 miles. Yes, after an exhaustive 4 mile ride, my friend Kevin from Tax (Friday only commuter to work) and I reached the 1st rest stop. No food! A guy selling electric bikes? Move on… From there it was bliss. The next 4 stops provided muffins, canned espresso, bagels, water, juice, energy drinks, suckers, 5 types of energy bars, T-shirts (I got 3), reflector straps, shopping bags, stickers, bottles (an aluminum San Diego Zoo branded), fruit and a pedometer. My backpack was stuffed.

bikesgonewild said...

...jefe...couple a things...

...i was in no way offended by anything you said yesterday, counselor...truth be told, you have a unique perspective insomuch as you are a professional in that field...therefor your 'take' has a strong credibility regarding this situation...

...& believe it or not, i'm actually a (begrudging love/hate) fan of armstrong but i'd never hesitate to call someone i admire to the carpet...

...as far as the crash, i still haven't seen it...my admitted knee-jerk reaction was "five miles into the stage after last nights revelations & this mornings hurried press conference...yep, ol' lance has got a forest fire to put out & sittin' on a bike ain't gonna get it done"...

...maybe a lapse of concentration ???...a few things on his mind ???...

yogisurf said...

Oh yeah, I got the Worlds 2nd Greatest Madone (only 1 mirror) out for the special occasion...

Nogocyclist said...

010100000110111101100100011010010111010101101101

resopmok said...

Actually pictured is the BEHEMOTH. The winnebiko was the predecessor, and used as a mobile "blogging" platform for 11 years starting in '86. Thanks for finding my geek hero of the day. Helmets off to a man that gave meaning to mobile communication "back in the day" when most of us just got our first 2400 baud modem.

Anonymous said...

Some days I'm just so thankful Cadel Evans is in the Pro Peleton.

Nogocyclist said...

I need to practice typing in binary. I would have got the podium for sure if I could keep my 0's and 1's from running into one another.

Sad thing about the recumbent/trailer computer bicycle is you could accomplish the same thing with a decent bike and a late model cell phone.

CommieCanuck said...

Leroy, you have no evidence, no smoking gun, that I gave you those answers, and I've never tested positive in any Friday Fun quiz.

The fact that I can beat everybody while they are all doping only proves that doping doesn't work, and smug moral superiority always wins.

You can't touch this...I have a Foundation.

resopmok said...

Sorry, starting in '86 it was the winnebiko II. Anyway, I suppose this means he was also the first to text and ride his bike?

Anonymous said...

Thank you Snob for giving me my daily does of cycnicism. Isn't it lovely that we get to watch a Britney Spears-esque personal meltdown within our very own "bike culture" bubble! This is part of the reason that I stopped shaving my legs, parked the crabon fibre road bike, and rekindled my love for mountain biking. The other reason being that most roadies are uptight d-bags! ALL HAIL BSNYC!

CommieCanuck said...

Cadel is one of those kids you just want to poke just to see his response. I like his "fuck off, leave me alone, just love me and give me money" approach to his sports celebrity. Very John Lydon/Trent Reznor.

Anonymous Coward said...

These recumbant's be swervin'...

Jefe said...

bikesgone wild, the "lapse of concentration" theory is a valid inference, although it appears that Radio Shack cruised into what was already a major pile-up.

Where do you people live that there is food served on Bike to Work Day? In Albany, motorists celebrate by speeding up and honking.

Salty Seattle said...

BGW-

After watching the races yesterday, I'm convinced Lance was spoke-slapped by somebody. He's too good at avoiding crashes to have ended up on his face, otherwise.

My guess is Cadel phoned a croney in the TOC peloton. What a year to choose to get juiced, after all.

Anonymous said...

Free Leroy

Miss Muff said...

I don't know about a grope, but a hand-job will cost you 8 dollars and some change.

Anonymous said...

"abstinence from stomach flattening exercises? tehehe

Anonymous said...

What is that song from the First Fix video?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gwqxFYDMa8

bikesgonewild said...

...ok...way to much time spent on the subject...

...my quiz answers ???..."all of the above" for every question works for me...

...made myself late for the seven dwarfs "hi ho, hi ho" thingy yesterday...
...not gonna happen today !!!...

...& salty seattle...i was buoyed by les habs solid win last night...i need to see (dichotomy, i won't get to watch) the sharks respond accordingly...

...hi, ho, hi ho...

A nony mouse said...

The ass grab post has to be the greatest invitation for sex ever.

First she teases him (that she is above his league (don´t touch what you can´t afford).

Then she invites him for a drink.

And tells him to bring a condom.

Outstanding.

Jefe said...

Miss Muff, your prices seem quite reasonable. I'm sure a Craig's List advertisement will keep overhead low.

InDaDrops said...

So, Versus cuts out for the last mile of the ATOC stage Tuesday for some pre-game hockey blather (which usually is some variation of this: (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bVQS5c4udg)

Just 2 days later, Cadel Evans is seen girl slapping with some dudes in the peloton.

Roid rage? Or a desperate attempt to mimic hockey keep viewers tuned in now that LA abandoned.

Koba said...

Mea culpa Snob, hockey fans (actually in this case, writers) reaffirm your view of them - http://sports.yahoo.com/nhl/blog/puck_daddy/post/Trending-topics-Now-you-know-how-it-feels-Arms?urn=nhl,242699

red neckerson said...

i tolt rikim he coodnt beet up nobody iregardless of race color or creed and all the dum bastard cood think to say was gimme yer joo gold

dumass

Anonymous said...

www.youtube.com/watch?v=vadaHUIfZr4

Guys, you gotta check out this bicycle video I just found on Youtube . . . it's a pretty hot number with bikes and chicks hands. Totally how I feel about my bike

David Henderson said...

My caption for the cartoon: "Blah, blah, blah"..... The lights are on, but nobody's home!

Dave said...

Take a good look at the cockpit on that Winnebiko. Its like the bridge of the Starship Enterprise as piloted by Captain James T. Dork.

livingjetlag said...

All you horndogs seek my boobs!

10,000 Aches said...

thegock,

Yes, I lost my pinky by failing to pay a five mojito debt. Be careful who you dope, I mean grope.

leroy,

I still look up to you



All You Haters Mind My Fridge

Philip Williamson said...

Ride Around And Eat Free Food Day!

...at least in Oregon, where the unemployment rate is 12%.

Anonymous said...

Tony Martin is one bad mofo

le food said...

talkin´about food..

in tomorrow´s Giro stage, check out the Monte Grappa ascent, at about 1/3 of the climb or turn 15 or something, you´ll see a little restaurant (also known as the hangglider start). This place is owned and run by a 70year old dude, and he makes the ABSOLUTLY BEST PASTA EVER. And cheap (well for us Euros... (6 euros, that´s approx. 250$).

And yes, it´s a f... hard climb.

ringcycles said...

Wow, the Winnebiko must be to full Freds what the Ferrari-Colnago bike was to the true tiofosi.

Where can I get a refund for my "I Believe Leroy" fund contribution? Damn bike racers. Need to become a fan of a good clean sport like pro baseball.

Anonymous said...

T&A, I mean "Transportation Alternatives" seems to be into the snappy logo and new website and bike "culture" summits and very little into transportation.

Anonymous said...

In MPLS, the new biking center of the universe, bike to work day is June 10th or something. Of course, no one has a job here to bike to, maybe that is why it is delayed.

Stupid Name said...

Stolen from someplace funny, thought it important considering yesterdays posts.

French stereotypes :

Corsican people are lazy, jealous, proud, and lazy. They'll shiv you if you say their sister is pretty, but after the siesta.

People from Marseilles and southern people in general are bullshitters, but not in a bad way. You know how the fisherman will tell you the fish he didn't catch was HUGE ? Same thing, all the time.

Auvergnats are extremely stubborn and miserly. Which might have a kernel of truth - my dear grandmother would drive 50 miles to buy apricots 10c cheaper on the kilo. Yes, she did forget to factor in the cost of gas. Her husband teased her mercilessly about it. She still thought she was right.

People from Normandy are non commital. In French, "yes and no" and "maybe so, but maybe not" are known as "a Norman's answer".

Parisians are haughty, full of themselves, unpleasant and bad mannered, think Paris is the center of the world, are always in a hurry etc... etc... Think New Yorkers.

People from the North are chronically dull and depressed, on account of the cold, rain and coal mines. They all speak Ch'timi, which is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike French.

And of course, Belgians are idiots. American Polish jokes are immediately translatable as Belgian jokes in French. And can be translated as Swiss jokes in Belgium. The Swiss don't joke.

Anonymous said...

ARSE GRAB

heath said...

smash it up. doo-doo-doo!

Anonymous said...

theglock,

I would suggest ARSE GRAB. That is how the Queen of Britain would spell it anyway. If you happen to be a subject of the Queen she apparently owns your hands and face, so if you intend on defacing her property at least use her spelling.

ce

cyclegoddess said...

Cycling boyfriedn keeping up with Lloyds plunge, syas evidence of blackmail and looking like ol L is madder than a cut snake.

Man, bike to work in Oz is October. All I got was a sausage sizzle(ewww!), fruit, a long sleeve polo, lemon yellow size XXXL, some stickers, a aluminum bottle and a map.
But hey, small price for paradise..

Anonymous said...

I see that since I began researching and delicately crafting my comment like a custom steel frame Anonymous 12:27 has had the same idea. Possibly a fellow Australian similarly disadvantaged in the comment race by time zones. We have to be up at an unhealthy time of morning to beat ant1 around here(which I did once). And that reminds me... you lot are pretty hard on Cadel suggesting roid rage but the poor bastard is just permanently jetlagged.

cyclegoddess said...

"Armstrong has never been busted for a positive test in a sport that catches more cheaters - including the stars - than any other. He was already a world-class triathlete at 15, and that was before cancer and arguably the toughest training regimen undertaken by a human transformed him into something resembling a cyborg.
He also boasted the most money, best team, best support staff (including lawyers), biggest sponsors, state-of-the-art equipment and a pain threshold his oncologist still marveled at years after Armstrong left his care."

cyclegoddess said...

Anon,
we have as much chance of getting podium here, as Cadel has with that jet lag!

arses all sround!!

Anonymous said...

Actually, as professional cycling is such an international sport I suspect that most of the competitors are jet lagged to some degree. They can't compete at that level without being exposed to jet lag.

By the way, I sucked at the quiz and watched the video several times. However, I am excited to report that I have found out what my superpower is... being able to identify the city to which a scene of seemingly homogenous, nondescript suburbia belongs to at first glance. I confirmed my suspicion that the video was probably taken in Melbourne, Australia by checking the Youtube channel of the frivolous clutter abandoning cyclist involved.

Yes, it seems that due to the degree of cultural time lag that manages to persists in the face of increasing global interconnectivity the fixed scene is still on the rise down here.

In natural history Australia's isolation has provided a refuge for strange ancient species that have died out elsewhere and I can imagine that it may provide the same function for the track bike fashion/meme.

The handlebarless track bike that has been born in this isolated refuge may well turn out to be an evolutionary dead end. Or perhaps the unique traits of this freak mutant varient may actually allow its type to recolonise the strange post fixed gear apocalypse world that will exist beyond Australia.

Anyway, I'm off to hit google street view to hone my powers.

ce

le frog said...

Stupid name,

I can only confirm for Parisians. But am surprised with the comparison with newyorkers, i had a totally different experience.

And i don´t recall it was a wednesday.

Anonymous said...

on the subject, and since Snob likes cyclocross:

http://www.velonation.com/News/ID/4262/Kacper-and-Pawel-Szczepaniak-given-four-and-eight-year-suspensions.aspx

What the article doesn´t say, it was the U23 Worlds...

honkybucket said...

I wish people would recognize that posting a comment that takes up more than a full screen is likely to skipped over by the majority of comment readers.

Anonymous said...

H

O

N

K

Y



B

U

C

K

E

T

red neckerson said...

honky bucket you asshole

in my parts the bathtub meth helps you keeps your conscentration real good ifn you has too much trouble staying focused or something

you jest got called a dumass by a redneck

have a nice day you fucker

Salty Seattle said...

Seattle race ref at the TOC today. Glad to see it. He's solid.

BGW- saw the game today. I still have faith, but I don't like how this Stanley Cup is shaping up. I wish I had a joke about that...

Salty Seattle said...

Oooooh, didn't notice it gettin' rough in here til just now. Hugs!!

Anonymous said...

I'm going to ride a one-handed wheelie on my recumbent fixie short-bar p-far!

Nogocyclist said...

Honey Bucket

You are making one false assumption. You are assuming that the commentators on this site care if anyone reads their diatribes or not. Many times we write for reasons that have little to do with communications with others.

I myself am disabled and limited in what I can do. I have written things on here for no other reason than I am bored, or sometimes just because I have a wise crack I wish to make. I could care less if anyone reads some of my comments.

At other times, I intent to influence others with what I say. This week for example in comments about doping, I stated the obvious in a long post that doping results from the fact that all professional sports are really about making money. I truly wish sports would return to being an enjoyable activity without having to spend a fortune. Money is necessary but at the same time it ruins everything it is associated with.

If you or anyone else just skips over my comments or anyone else's Who Cares!

Of course, I have to consider that your comment may have been made simply because you were bored....

Nogocyclist said...

And 100

Nogocyclist said...

Feel free to skip over my Top 100 comment, and my First of second 100 comment also.

Salty Seattle said...

Nogo-

I hope you're reading this. Nicely done!!

honkybucket said...

Yeah Nogo,

I don't know what your post said after the first paragraph, though I do agree that it was nicely done. Red Neckerson, on the other hand, does an ever nicer job of calling me an asshole in concise & succinct fashion.

Anonymous said...

Dear Bike Snob, Maybe I don't get this whole tongue and cheek humor of yours, but please do not compare your NewYorker cartoon musings and day dreams with sand mandalas, as they have absolutely nothing to do with bolstering your ego.

Actually Sand Mandalas are quite the opposite. The monks create the mandala as a spiritual blessing to the good of all sentient beings. It takes days of tedious, exacting work by a team of Monks, usually done working around the clock until complete. Then selflessly, with a few stokes of a brush the mandala is destroyed in seconds by the monks, sweeping its sands into a vessel to be deposited into the nearest body of natural flowing water, symbolically distributing the sands and thus the blessing to the four corners of the world.

This act to the practitioners (monks) represents the purification of the mind from the ego, and the fact that "all" is impermanent, yet dependent upon "all" to exist. This is the nature of all reality.

If you have not already witnessed
this practice, I highly recommend that you go to a sand mandala initiation. Go to all three days and see the progress, appreciate the labor and art. But most importantly witness the final ceremony. Breathtaking, beautiful, powerful, life changing, and last but not least "rewarding" are some of the comments I've heard others say that come to mind. You see, it's not about the monks, it's not about you, or me, it's about "all" of us, living in harmony.

Not Cronenberg said...

Commie Knuck is a FAG! Get a fucking life, will ya'!

cyclegoddess said...

In case you dont get my humour, I'd ne happy to 'take him for a ride' .
Tee hee!!

cyclegoddess said...

Anon 7:29
Canberra has been infiltrated, judging by the comments I had made to me at a local Cybergoth club - something along the line that "people like you who wear lycra, ruin cycling for everyone else," which some bastard made. The hard work I did to pay for my beautiful Orbea, that Lycra, massive doses of antiioxidants and assorted bike goodies, isnt as 'real' as homemade shit fixies, old jeans and smoking.

But every time I ride,my crotch thanks me for those 250( the only ones I found that reduced saddlesores) shorts and cutout saddle.

Salty Seattle said...

Cyclegoddess-

you're hired.

Welcome to the team.

For the record, I'm jealous of your Orbea and awesome profile pic, but I'm not enough of a bitch to let that get in the way. You're in.

Salty Seattle said...

To clarify,

Frilly's our GC contender (she's never tested positive), Fierce Panties is our sprinter (don't get in her way when there's 200 meters to go), and we're pleased to announce cyclegoddess as our newest mountain specialist. We're excited that her time zone makes her uniquely qualified for the KOM points. We're recruiting all the time, so keep your eye out for our awesomeness.

Me? I'm the douche who put the team together. I'll be damned if that a-hole, Michael Ball, gets a full UCI license before we do.

Salty Seattle said...

Oh! and Miss Muff is our lead out. Don't try to cock block her cause she'll take you out.

cyclegoddess said...

Damn! The first part of my joke never came up!
It was,

I dont care if CC is a 'fag' , Id menage a quatre him( Him, me, the orbea and his bike).

Salty, Id be proud to join( yay!finally! Im in with the big girls palyground). But note, its easy to get a nody like mine.
Just work out 5 days a week with weight, cardio and be allergic to anything tasty :( - cakes, pies, cookies, grain , bread, pasta, eggs,nuts, raisins etc.

cyclegoddess said...

The Orbeas was likewise - dont go out, buy alcohol,nice clothes, see movies, drive a car or buy things. That made me enough savings to buy it at a discount!!

But hey, pro cyclings like that. Dont eat anything, dont go anywhere, go to bed early. I just pretend Im in with the big guns :D

Salty Seattle said...

CG-

glad to have ya.

Bonus points for making a pass at Commie Canuck, too. Kudos!

cyclegoddess said...

Its good for his ego. There needs to be some sort of compensation in world that has no idea that black ironichumor is sexy!

creremerson said...

I love the dramatic shift from light to dark between Anon 12:18 and Not Cronenberg 12:34. If Caravaggio were alive today in his tight black jeans riding his ghost white fixie with his gang of arty hipster friends, I think he would appreciate the contrast.

Fortunately sword fighting was the ironic pastime of choice for the hipsters of the early 17th century, much safer than riding amongst the traffic without brakes, at least for Caravaggio.

ce

creremerson said...

I swear I was working on that last comment for a good half an hour. It looks like I'm just trying to hit on cyclegoddess after her last comment.

By the way, I hope it wasn't too long (especially considering it's about my fourth comment today - sorry)

ce

cyclegoddess said...

CE ,
it was especially erudite! Nice one.( Carvaggio was a good choice, buy perhaps also Botticelli?)
Im worse. Comp is freezing on work and all I can do post more blather. Sorry!

cyclegoddess said...

Perhaps SS,
on this type of team, these sorts of suppliments might be the doping of choice:
http://www.henryspink.org/smart_drugs.htm

Maybe while your at it, we can dump some in the PBR water supply.
I bet brakes will appear overnight.

creremerson said...

Yes, my apology re comment length was initially meant to be sarcastic, but was distracted mid sentence by a twinge of actual guilt. Weird.

cyclegoddess, there was nothing erudite about what I said, I was being quite epolitedite. But, yes I do imagine the artists could be on the same fixie crew, recording their exploits on canvas and then sharing the pictures on PaintTube. Botticelli rides Cinelli of course.

commie, please, I told you I'm not trying to hit on your girlfriend, stop hitting me with that hockey stick!

ce

bikesgonewild said...

...salty seattle...ya, huh !!!...still a torch for the habs & they have pulled it out before...so-o-o...

...but...exact opposite of what i wanted to see wherein ultimately i would have been happy w/ either les canadiens or los tiburones winning...
...original home vs long time home = no qualms...

...hawks vs flyers = obvious choice...
...i'm not a man who takes any form of delight in the discomfort or loss of others but i despise the flyers so greatly i will admit to having taken great pleasure each & every time they've grasped @ lord stanley's cup & had their asses handed back to them instead...

...broad street bullies...you "goon-ed" up the game...may the curse of billy penn reside w/ you forever...

...just sayin'...

bikesgonewild said...

...honkybucket...

...rather than wishing & skipping out on those of us who tend to craft posts longer than your attention span, why not simply consider us as "bloggist monks", willingly, lovingly & ego-lessly crafting articulate word paintings using the sands of time...

...& at the end of every day (((w/ the exception of weekends, holidays & those days that bsnyc/rtms is off visiting cycling royalty))) those colorful, articulate word paintings are dumped back into the cosmos wherein every letter or word is recycled back into new & wonderful portrayals of someones reality...

...hope you didn't miss this post due to attention deficit disorder...

theshepherdsdog said...

awesome quiz

PCLA said...

Yes! I saw the Lone Wolf and his white USA TT bike at the bicycle lifestyle festival at L.A. Live downtown on Saturday. I was so nonplussed that I forgot to take a picture!

frilly said...

Salty I did the team proud today. It was friggin' hot and windy, but I came in with the pack. Lots of abandons--SAG wagon was kept busy all day.

Miss Muff said...

My, those hockey players have such big sticks.

And they tape the ends of them so well.

My panties are a bit stained.

Holier than thou said...

Anon 5/23 12:18AM-

What is the Buddhist equivalent of "Jesus Freak?" (SGI?)

Oh! You were probably just messing with Honkeybucket. Good one!

PCLA said...

To dispel any confusion, Lone Wolf and his bike were not part of the post- Stage 7 exhibition, but just was walking around as a long-mulleted spectator.

Salty Seattle said...

frilly-

You always do! Way to go!

BGW-

Sad about the Sharks... my former home team, even though I have to cheer against them most of the year, as a Canucks fan.

I love Chicago, the city, but I'm not ready to root for their team, yet. Go Habs!!!

Muff-

The soigniers keep a ready stock of Oxy-clean on the team bus. Enjoy yourself.

bikesgonewild said...

...salty seattle...4 & out...that is fucking sad...

...habs have a "tough row to hoe" but the prospect of an "original six" match-up is highly enticing...

...re: canucks vs sharks...we'll have to agree to disagree...

... & the flyers ???...fuck the flyers...

bikesgonewild said...

...& props to frilly who really seems to be evolving her bike thingy...

Nogocyclist said...

The wrong answer video of the fixie rider without a handlebar has had 9,345 views. If it was not on BSNYC it might had gotten 20 by now.

The real wonder of the Internet is you can put just about anything legal you want to on YouTube or as a comment on any number of sites.

If I wanted to type the word "fart" 100,000 times I could get my own web page and type away.

cyclegoddess said...

'Report: Landis admits doping and fingers Armstrong'

ewww.
Landis, hands off! I saw him first!

cyclegoddess said...

Guy today with high seat post, up front tilted saddle( ie genital insertion level ). I ask, hey man how the hell do you ride on that seat?Doesnt it hurt your bits?
Young guy says, uh no I mostly stand up.

oh...it hurts.

ant1 said...

that french stereotype thing hits a little too close to home, being a southerner of corsican descent who grew up in paris.

CommieCanuck said...

"Armstrong has never been busted for a positive test in a sport that catches more cheaters - including the stars - than any other. He was already a world-class triathlete at 15, and that was before cancer and arguably the toughest training regimen undertaken by a human transformed him into something resembling a cyborg.
He also boasted the most money, best team, best support staff (including lawyers), biggest sponsors, state-of-the-art equipment and a pain threshold his oncologist still marveled at years after Armstrong left his care."


God, what bullshit. Every rider in the peloton was a star when they were teenagers,and he was supported as well as his competitors. Don't forget his most important "supporter", Dr. Ferrari.

He's unrivaled in support by lawyers who block publication of doping stories in the US, and support by his foundation, which uses cancer as a personality cleanser.

Yummy Livestrong Koolaid.

Sure, Lance was the only clean rider who beat all the other admitted, or caught dopers, by minutes. I guess doping doesn't work then? Someone should have told Floyd.

cyclegoddess said...

But what mystifies me is admittedly, he has a heart that has been said to be larger than average, to the point of freakish. I would think this would help?
I forget where I got that quote.
If he did dope, as much as I like Lance, it would be interesting to see what happens.

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