Thursday, May 20, 2010

Riding Dirty, Coming Clean: All You Haters Hear My Confession

It's difficult being a cycling fan. Even in our finest hour--a three-man breakaway powering into Santa Cruz during the Tour of California, for example--we find our sport being pre-empted for hockey (otherwise known as "Canadian golf"). Then, just as the dinghy that is cyclesport seems to right itself, it is buffeted yet again ("buffet" is a verb meaning "to be serenaded by Jimmy Buffet") by the waves of scandal. I am, of course, referring to the woman who borrowed her friend's registration packet in order to race the Leadville 100:

I was alerted to this scandal by "BikeLemming," and clearly they don't cotton to that sort of thing out there in Collerady because the person who raced with the ill-gotten number, Wendy Lyall, is now being charged with a felony. Of course, Lyall's biggest mistake was breaking the first rule of borrowing someone else's race number, which is: "Don't Place." Instead, she did place--2nd in the 40-49 age group--which was particularly problematic since she was only 36. Now, not only has she been forced to return her substantial second-place prize (a "belt buckle, pendant and necklace"), but she may now have to endure the punishment for a Class 6 felony--which, in Leadville, CO, involves being tarred and feathered and ridden out of town on a rail.

Also, enigmatic Mennonite-turned-bike racer Floyd Landis has penned an "epic" confessional epistle in which he outlines years of systematic doping and claims that he was pressed into service as the US Postal Service team's blood monkey:
[Insert your "cold-blooded" or "sang-froid"-themed pun of choice here.]

In addition to Armstrong and Hincapie, in this letter Landis also implicates (among others) Dave Zabriskie, Levi Leipheimer, Michael Barry, Matthew White, Dr. Allen Lim, and even someone named "Pepe."

As cycledom waits with bated breath (not to be confused with "baited breath," which is breath that smells like bait fish) for reactions to Landis's claims (UCI president Pat McQuaid and BMC team owner Andy Rihs already deny the stuff about them), it's worth taking a look back at the past four years and the surreally undulating brevet that has been the life of Floyd Landis.

[cue emotional Floyd Landis retrospective theme music]



[cut emotional Floyd Landis retrospective theme music]

It all started in 2006, when the fixed-gear fad had only just entered its "tarck" phase and fixed-gear freestyle was but a glint on the Aerospokes of the "fixerati." A promising former US Postal domestique named Floyd Landis was leading the Phonak team in the Tour de France, which he won after an "epic" solo breakaway on stage 17 to Morzine. Americans everywhere rejoiced. Mountain bikers and roadies joined hands. Mennonites and Amish people hugged and operated zippers together. Dogs humped cats. But then, tragedy--Floyd Landis tested positive for putting a testosterone patch on his "bean bag:"

Maintaining his innocence, Landis began a grassroots movement to clear his name. Not only did he write a book called "Positively False," but he also started the "Floyd Fairness Fund" in order to cover his legal expenses:



ITTET, it's hard to imagine that anybody would give a professional athlete money to help pay for lawyers, regardless of how innocent or guilty he might be. However, people were simpler and more prosperous back then, and give they did--to the smell of (I hate the expression "to the tune of") over half a million dollars. One shop owner in Dallas even gave Landis $25,000:

Jim Hoyt, the 59-year-old owner of Richardson Bike Mart in Dallas, matched $25,000 of his customers' contributions and says he "still feels good about it." He also thinks Landis shouldn't be blamed for his manager's actions. "I have 150 people who work for me and from time to time, they do things I don't know about," he says. "It happens."

In most bike shops, where the margins are thin and owners are forced to compete with mail order retailers, you'd be lucky to buy a bicycle and walk out with a free water bottle. Therefore, Jim Hoyt of the Richardson Bike Mart is either very charitable or, more likely, completely insane.

Meanwhile, Landis made wise use of these funds by orchestrating bizarre psychosexual phone calls to Greg LeMond:

He also may or may not have been hacking into the computers of the laboratory that produced his positive test result:

Shockingly, however, none of these shrewd tactics helped Landis, and he would up losing his appeal. This cost him a two-year suspension, from which he returned last year. He's since produced less-than-stellar results. Before "WeenieGate," Greg LeMond claimed he told Landis that he could "single handedly salvage the sport" by confessing, though he says Landis was disinclined to do so:

Now, however, bereft of results, public goodwill, and, very probably, money (he was selling his Phonak team bikes on Craigslist awhile back), he seems have changed his mind.

Unfortunately, at a certain point it becomes difficult or impossible to "come clean," and Landis may have reached this point. If his confession is true, then the shocking revelation is not the cheating, but the fact that he convinced his fans to bankroll his defense. This, and not the cheating, is the real betrayal. Indeed, I think the only way for Landis to truly "come clean" would be to return all that money--and this may be easier than it seems. In fact, by confessing, Landis has turned any memorabilia he still owns into a mountain of valuable irony, for today more than ever the truth is that Irony Sells. Just think of all the attention you'd get rolling up to the group ride in a maillot jaune autographed by Floyd Landis:

Also, Landis's book "Positively False" is now positively hilarious--and who wouldn't want to own an autographed copy?


But no piece of Landis paraphernalia will become more coveted than a "vintage" Free Floyd t-shirt, once sold by the proprietor of the "Floyd Landis is the Man" blog:

This piece of pop-cultural kitsch is the very pinnacle of irony, and it radiates irreverence with the power of a thousand 80s metal band t-shirts. Hopefully Landis, the Bernie Madoff of cycling, will be forced to sell his personal inventory in order to compensate the victims.

Meanwhile, while some people think cheating is ruining cycling, a reader informs me that somebody in Maryland is seeking to do so in a far more direct manner by scattering tacks all over race courses:

There's even video of the subsequent crash:


Police are still seeking the culprit, though witnesses say he looks a bit like Rowan Atkinson:



175 comments:

Anonymous said...

BANG BILLY

singlespeedspinning said...

win

Astroluc said...

FLoyd Fail... Podium?

danaceau said...

Third !!??? - At least podium.

xyxax said...

too much unrefrigerated blood

wishiwasmerckx said...

Just missed the podium!

Erik said...

Doped to WIN!

Shu-Sin said...

TOP TEN!

jimmynuetron said...

90,000 a year spent on testosterone and EPO, and I thought the haute couture weed and Japanese coffee was expensive. Sodium, podium!

wle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

All You Haters Suck My Rumspringa

mikeweb said...

Talkin' dirty, ridin' clean.

wle said...

less floyd sacs
more xtian fixie sluts

!!

:)

wle

innerlighter said...

you would sneak a post in there while I had jumped over to read about whathisname. I shoulda stayed here for the real news.

Astroluc said...

BYK 2 W3RK DaY... Floyd Fale... Tacks on R0@d... it's the cycling hat-trick (like in Canadian Golf)

ant1 said...

ant1st!

Anonymous said...

Sure, bash Floyd. It's easy. Then again, there is nothing on this site that is very inventive or insightful. Lucky for you, most people don't want that and the hits keep on coming.

Anonymous said...

Did that sweet Mr Bean joke come straight from Lance himself?

Koba said...

In case you missed this equally groan/smirk worthy Onion snark - http://www.theonion.com/articles/nations-bicyclists-remove-helmets-for-head-injury,17466/

Roadie Can't Fail said...

I used to love Floyd.

I'm still inclined, though I have no idea why, to cut him a lot of slack.

But let's just say that he didn't handle getting caught doping very well.

Maybe his Mennonite upbringing left him uniquely unprepared to be a celebrity caught cheating – one who also has to cover for a bunch of his buddies. Who WOULD handle that well? There is no good way to handle it.

Homeboy would have been better off following Greg LeMond's advice. Now that's a sentence you don't read every day.

g said...

@1257,
should read "Sure, bash Floyd, he's a dick and deserves it."

Ah... better.

Bad Lawyer said...

There's nothing like having a serial liar call you a crook; it could be worse, the serial liar could be your teamate and friend, er former friend.
BL

CommieCanuck said...

What's worse, Floyd admitting he helped Lance blood dope?, or that Lance held him in such high esteem as a domestique that his job was to check daily to make sure the refrigerator light was turning off when he closed the door?

I fucking love this. The shit finally hits the fan, but I bet no matter how thick it splatters, lance still smells like magnolias.

Of course, this means, GREG WAS RIGHT.

stream of nothing said...

you couldn't make up this stuff....Wait, maybe somebody did :)

Anonymous said...

All you haters apply my testosterone patch

Anonymous said...

Damn, not even top 25.

TOP 26!!!!!!!!

mountain_racer said...

So, LeMond is actually to blame for Landis' confession? "Greg LeMond claimed he told Landis that he could 'single handedly salvage the sport' by confessing."

Now that cycling has been truly saved we can get back to the business of some good ole' bike racing. No wait, they were doping too! Lets get down to some good new bike racing without doping!

Yeah right! (thumps fist on desk)

Anonymous said...

"If his confession is true, then the shocking revelation is not the cheating, but the fact that he convinced his fans to bankroll his defense."

Wuh? If it's true, the shocking revelation is that Lance Armstrong is guilty.

That free round-trip ticket to Austin has warped your mind Mr. Snob.

thegock said...

LANC DONE

sherpa said...

WTF!!!

Just got my copy of Positively False signed last month at Battenkill. Crazy to think he signed it knowing he was about to, or already had come out as guilty.

oh well. it sucks balls when our heros fail us.

i'll keep my copy and savor the irony. i hear irony is good for red blood cell production. maybe next year i'll beat snob's time at battenkill.

ringcycles said...

anon 12:57, actually judging by the readership, there's lots here that is insightful and inventive, albeit sardonic as well.

Roadie Can't Fail, I completely agree with your last statement, he should've listened to Greg, but he didn't. And the way in which he tried to intimidate Greg before his hearing was the most reprehensible, dishonorable, and ugly thing I've ever heard of in pro cycling. Anyone, Mennonite or not, should know better. Fraud may know the truth, but who will believe him, who could.

Anonymous said...

I believe the "confession" to which RTMS refers is regarding Landis' doping rather than Landis' accusations about Armstrong's alleged doping.

Anonymous said...

First cleanie.

Anonymous said...

Can't Colorado find 100+ continuous miles of dirt to hold a mtb race on? Somebody should arrest Ken Clouber for fraudulently selling an mtb race on pavement... that all the other mtb races that only have hills too. He should be forced to return miles to all previous participants.

Anonymous said...

Jim Hoyt is extraordinarily generous with the DFW cycling community and has helped support a lot of racers - including a few that have gone on to Pro Tour careers. He is probably the major underwriter for just about every charity t-shirt ride in North Texas, at least two significant race teams and the velodrome. Genuinely one of the 'good guys'. He's only a little insane ;>)

grog said...

so, am i the only cyclist not doping? I feel such a fool.

wishiwasmerckx said...

I bought into Floyd's bullshit hook, line and sinker.

I refused to believe that he broke away from the peloton and erased his deficit, all the while knowing that manditory doping control awaited at the finish line. It just didn't make sense.

I read Arnie Baker's plausible defense. I read Floyd's book. I took into consideration the pathological hatred of the French towards Americans in general, and American tour winners in particular.

Then came all the bizzare goings-on in connection with the Pepperdine hearings, and I knew that I had been duped. It is appropriate that Floyd finally comes clean. It must be a huge weight off of his shoulders.

Despite it all, I still connsider Lance to be a genuine hero. I fear that there may be a big fall in his future as well.

Buffalo Bill said...

I don't know about labeling hockey 'Canadian Golf'. It seems a bit confusing since golf appears to be the preferred pastime for hockey players in the off-season.

How about Hockey = Canadian Nascar?

Peter said...

saying 'everybody cheats' is one thing, but naming names is something else. landis did a big wrong.

that said, why didn't the cycling industry give him a cushy 60k/yr job doing....whatever? it's basically protection money, to keep him quiet, and it'd give him, and all the future-outed dopers someplace to land -- everybody wins.

the cycling industry is not that sophisticated yet -- and i doubt they ever will be.

n8k99 said...

woefully off the back....

CommieCanuck said...

Anonymous said...

First cleanie.


Bullshit. This whole peloton's dirty.

ant1 said...

canadian winter golf?

Anonymous said...

anon at 12:57...Floyd?

CommieCanuck said...

How about Hockey = Canadian Nascar?

We already have Canadian NASCAR, it's called CASCAR, it's exactly like NASCAR, except the fans are thinner.

Hockey is a merger between wrastlin' and curling, which is shuffleboard on ice.

Anonymous said...

anonymous 12:57 - okay here is your chance, why dont you give us something inventive or insightful. go on, we're waiting....

g said...

Fuck Floyd is what I say. I no longer care that he's guilty or innocent. His chance to "do the right thing" and "lift the weight off his shoulders" has passed. I am sick of these people playing us as fools because we want to believe them and when it's no longer convenient for them to be the innocent victim, they piss all over us again. I hope the weight of the lies never comes off his shoulders. It's the Floyd Fairness Fuck-over that really has me steamed. Knowing the whole time that he was guilty and asking people for money to help him hide that guilt (not the same as prove his innocence) is the shittiest thing of all.

CommieCanuck said...

I took into consideration the pathological hatred of the French towards Americans in general, and American tour winners in particular.

The French hate everyone, don't take it personal.
However, if they don't pack up Lance's bus and kick him out of the country next month, I'll have lost all respect for them. I will boycott snails, frogs and other disgusting delicious things.

Anonymous said...

Maybe now, finally, the cycling community will realize that doping should be required of all riders in the tour. Testing should be used to merely confirm riders have the minimum levels of dope in their systems. That way it will be fair.

CommieCanuck said...

g said...

Fuck Floyd


Now there's a wrist band I'll buy. It should be bullshit brown.

Anonymous said...

great to see lemond is not entirely crazy.

is trek going to start selling his bikes again?

CommieCanuck said...

anon 1:42: that the point of the UCI biological passport, which has already caught three riders.

Anonymous said...

G, and that crackhead that you gave a dollar to on the street this morning, you didn't think that he was going to actually buy a cup of coffie at McD's with it, did you?

Isolation Helmet said...

Never a dull moment. I guess what I find interesting is that Floyd says that Bruyneel and the UCI had a deal to keep any doping confidential. The UCI has already denied that allegation. Now more denials will pile on top of that.

Can you believe Floyd? Who the hell knows?

Anonymous said...

Landis is the Kid Rock of cycling, y'all

wishiwasmerckx said...

CC, "next month?" I thought the tour was in July. Do you guys use the Gregorian calendar up there in the Great White North?

bikesgonewild said...

...morning coffee a little bit bitter ???...

Anonymous said...

Leonardtown is to Baltimore as Binghamton is to Park Slope.

It's a far south as you can get in MD without touching water.

g said...

@1:44,
No, I didn't, and I didn't think Landis was really innocent either. My comment was more in response to wiwm's statement
"It must be a huge weight off of his shoulders."
and how I felt that he should not be praised for his stunning confession. Especially in light of the degree to which, and the passion with which, he pursued the lie.

Salty Seattle said...

Well, wriiten, Snobbie!

I'm not on the committee, but your timeline is practically Peabody-worthy. Dare I say, you're a good fuckin' writer!

Won't comment on the whole Landis thing, though. Not until someone speaks out against the horrifying tragedy of the exploited testacles. They never do anything to hurt anyone; they just kinda ..hang out. So sad how they've been abused and neglected.

I've gotta go write a song.

Anonymous said...

Snob. Feel good being Armstrong's bitch? Can't you figure out when you're being used? But maybe you like it that way -- anything to get ahead.

acquiesce808 said...

instead of a neil diamond ambienceway, i rocked "Kid A" while reading the menonite's diaries on the inter-webs (now online!). curated from "optimistic": "you can try the best you can, the best you can is good enough."

Jefe said...

A local pro rider sent out this story from the Tour of Gila recently:

“One funny story from stage 5: former Tour de France winner Floyd Landis was at the race, and while he wasn’t fighting for the overall win, he wasn’t riding badly and everyone expected him to be a major protagonist on the final stage. About a mile from the top of the first Cat.2 climb, Floyd pulls over to the side of the road and stops to take a pee!? Self-sabotage? Could he really have had to go that bad right then? Just moments after he pulled over, Tom Peterson for DZ Nuts (Danielson and Zabriskie’s teammate) took a ripping pull at the front that shattered the field. This is when I came off, and as I rolled over the top, trying to catch a small group of riders just in front of me, I hear someone say “hop on.” I look over, and there is Floyd, forearms resting on his handlebars to simulate a TT position, and just crushing his 53x11. I jump on his wheel and burry myself to stay with him and we quickly catch the next group, then Floyd goes straight to the front and rips the descent, catching a few more stragglers along the way. We didn’t quite make it back to the front group, but Floyd had scraped together enough of us that we had a solid group to roll all the way to the line with. Floyd took off on the next climb solo, and while he never caught the leaders, he sure was climbing quickly. If only he hadn’t stopped to pee…”

..maybe "pee" was Landis's euphemism for applying the patch.

ant1 said...

not sure how going on a few rides with LA makes one his bitch, or why the landis accusations would necessarily shock someone who likes LA. some people respect despite not buying into his cleanliness.

Anonymous said...

Floyd Landis has been doing shots of whiskey with Jose Canseco. Take em all down!
Now we put up with weeks of microphones in Lance's face, which will make him bail on the TDF, and we won't get to see Contador kick his ass!

Anonymous said...

Love this blog, I really do. But as soon as I saw the Landis news I knew you were going to somehow steer clear of the Lance angle. I hate to say it, but you're not "degreasing" the cycling culture, you're just greasing it. Any thinking person has known Lance was dirty ever since his sickening "zipped lips" pantomime during the Simeoni incident at the Tour. You know it too, Snob . . . so if you're gonna pick on Landis, maybe you shouldn't spare Lance.

mikeweb said...

Everyone here may question Floyd's motivations, his lying, scheming, more lying, etc, etc. I'm not saying I diagree with any of that.

But anyone who thinks for a second that the stuff he says now didn't happen, well all I can say is I got a bridge to sell you...

There's plenty of other corroborating information out there.

McQuaid is supposed to policing the sport, right? Then how can one explain the fact that he's ignoring those who come clean and want to talk? Oh, that's right, the livestrong foundation has donated a couple of million to the UCI over the past few years. Funny, I didn't think the UCI was in the business of cancer research...

Anyone who puts a PBA sticker on their car to get out of speeding tickets when pulled over knows how that one works.

jayme said...

If memory serves me right, Jim Hoyt is the guy who gave Lance Armstrong his first bike for racing and a Camaro as his first car when he was riding for a team sponsored by his bike shop. How ironic he gave money to Floyd years later as well. The reference to Jim is found in Lance's book "it's not about the bike".

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

I'm squeaky clean and ride a Lemond road bike. :)

I agree whole-heartedly with g.

ervgopwr said...

Lance haters, suck his nut.

I'm no LA defender, but this also isn't snob's battle, so don't get all huffy that he didn't "address the situation". This will go on for a long time now, or until floyd falls down an elevator shaft (maybe at a Radio Shack store?)

IRNY WIN!

Anonymous said...

I remember getting a flat from a tack in 1999 on the Ride the Rockies route. My personal non-thanks to the person who put tacks on the road. I could have made across the country with only one flat, with your help I got two. Thanks also go to Missouri. Your roads suck and you didn't just cost me a tube but managed to destroy my entire tire with your road debris.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 2:19pm,

Is there not enough "Lance angle" for you in cycling as it is? Floyd Landis wrote the letter. I didn't take the "Zabriskie angle" either.

--BSNYC

bikesgonewild said...

...mikeweb (hey, bud)...mcquaid is simply the manager of this big public show & it's in his best interest to keep the waters oiled (ewww, bad choice of phrase on my part !!!) but now that the shit has hit the fan(s) it will be interesting to see how it all plays out...

...exposure ???...more denials (like lance-ster is already doing) ???...time to come clean & actually clean up the sport, you fucks !!!...

Fred said...

Somewhere between the "Zabrieskie angle" and "DZnuts" is a good penis joke, but I can't quite dial it in.

Someone else take a pull, I'm going off the back to, er, "pee."

Anonymous said...

once again we realize there is no way to once-and-for-all clean up the sport. therefore the obvious choice is to combine all bike races with pie eating contests, spelling bees, games of monopoly, and arm wrestling. see, now lance's 7 tour wins don't look so impressive.

Sgt. Fucko said...

I believe what I want to believe. Lance is clean, there is an old man in the sky named God, and that a fat man in a red suit brings me gifts every December. Don't hassle my reality, you.

livingjetlag said...

All Your Hormones Scrotally Merge to Blood!

Salty Seattle said...

And, yes I do know how to spell 'testicles'.

PCHD BALZ

.. Hope he at least shaved..

I gotta go write another song.

sherpa said...

nice going snob. you must get a kickback from each Letle Viride album that is sold, cause you didn't cover that angle. And you mention his name enough here.

g-roc said...

For all we know, Floyd IS innocent and is merely desperate for attention because no one was talking about him anymore. Seriously, whatever the truth is, you won't get it by listening to Floyd's side of the story.

BTW, how to you "make sure the power doesn't go off?" Pay off the electric company?

bikesgonewild said...

...headline:- "Lance Armstrong has quit the Amgen Tour of California after being involved in a crash during the early part of stage five."...

..."chechu, levi...help me out...i need a wheel overlap, gimme a crash...i’ve got more important things to do than ride this damn bike...i’ve got lawyers to talk to...damage control i gotta work on...sheesh, that fucking landis...i shoulda known, never trust a fucking mennonite !!!"...

rhetoricdying said...

Peter,

I wholeheartedly disagree. Admitting to doping your entire career and then sitting back like those around you did or knoew nothing is a 'big wrong'. Not diming out your brother when he breaks the neighbor's window is one thing, but protecting other riders who dope is almost as bad as lying to the public for four years.

Just because it is a cultural norm doesn't make it right.

g said...

"never trust a fucking mennonite !!!"

Now THERE'S a bracelet I would wear.

Salty Seattle said...

I'll say it..

If you want angles, get a bag of Doritos already.

The only angles the testicles ever want are...oh.

[sheds single tear]

db said...

@Salty

I've gotta go write a song.

You can probably just take "Candle in the Wind" and change some of the words. It's worked before.

The moral of the Landis confession is the same as the others: Everyone dopes, and the competition within the competition is avoiding detection.

Now go get yer shinebox...

Mr Matt said...

Oooooh, Floyd LANDIS- I thought you were talking about Floyd LAWSON. My beloved Mayberry barber would never dope... ever. http://amayberrystateofmind.com/images/Floyd10.jpg

Pontius Pilate said...

HAIL CSZR

-P.P.

Anachronist said...

I thought you weren't supposed to trust the Shakers. Or was it the Masons?

Salty Seattle said...

@db-

Can't. Only Elton gets to rewrite Elton.

I'm thinking Band of Horses. I'm hoping to get Danny McAskill for the heart-rending 'donate money to the cause' video too. That would be sweet.

I hope I can 'dope' with him someday. mmm...

bikesgonewild said...

...the headlines are all “in your face” right now but this isn’t “floyd against lance” even though it might get played that way in the press...

...this is about a top gun, a tour de france winner saying "it’s all true…all those allegations about our sport, made by lesser lights who were caught, are true…this sport evolves around a hidden agenda"...

...& while i’ve joked about this story, what is sad is that literally floyd landis’s sanity & mental stability as well as his already besmirched credibility will come into play, each & every time until this story dies...

...also sad is that whether he was right or wrong in how he handled things from the beginning, floyd lost his life savings, his marriage & remember that his brother-in-law & assistant, i believe, took his own life when the first allegations surfaced after that tour debacle...that’s gotta affect a man no matter what his beliefs...

...i hope the pressure doesn’t further destroy the man in that he’s already admitted to being weighed down by the situation...

...& mr matt...to show i haven't lost my sense of humor, you "floyd the barber" reference was totally 'there'...

...just sayin'...

Anonymous said...

Snob, I can't believe you didn't cover the environmental angle here. Lance has been keeping his refrigerator in Spain at extremely cool temperatures even when the apartment is unoccupied for long stretches of time. Does your love of electricity trump your journalistic integrity?

ant1 said...

bgw - pretty good take on the floyd situation here

Anonymous said...

Mr Bean didn't talk!

fierce panties said...

top 100?

yofilly said...

In addition to Armstrong and Hincapie, in this letter Landis also implicates (among others) Dave Zabriskie, Levi Leipheimer, Michael Barry, Matthew White, Dr. Allen Lim, and even someone named "Pepe."
---Floyd forgot a bunch of people, including A-Rod, Roger Clemens, The Gov-a-nator, Rowdy Roddy Piper, Tiger Woods, and my Uncle Pete.

Many attacks from Team Anon on the Snob today. Until the guy (LA)pees in a cup and something other than good old-fashioned tinkle comes out, what more do you want???

Anonymous said...

whats up harshing on bike snob for the armstrong thing.

before you tear someone a new one you hav to have all the facts. we have nothing from armstrong yet.

bike snob is a pro writer, in the writing sport there are rules too, like dont go off half cocked on something. then you look dumb if you're wrong.

sort of like all of us floyd defenders look pretty stupid now. everyone who sent notes to the doping agencies protesting, everyone who gave money, everyone who told someone else 'hey he was clean', we are idiots. everyone who wrote articles that failed to be neutral towards landis, they all feel stupid now. all those guys in that video defending him? they probably feel like huge a-holes now.

the thing that bugs me most about landis is.... no apology. no remorse.

well let me say that i apologize to the french lab that tested landis, im sorry i didnt listen to you guys. i was wrong and you guys were right. my mistake.

if armstrong cheated there is only one thing he can do to save himself, and that is admit it without any delay, whatsoever. if he waits, more than a day, he will forever look like the hugest jackass possible. why? because if he was dirty, there will be proof, somewhere, somehow. nobody can be that careful for decades on end. if he was dirty and thinks he can get away with it, he needs to spend more time watching 'forensic files' on trutv. if he was clean, he needs to deny it ASAP so everyone will stop talking and wondering.

g said...

'cause Floyd said so. Isn't that enough for you people?!! Look at his record. AND, he said he was sorry, so there.

g said...

clean...

g said...

cleaner...

g said...

cleanest!

g said...

100. done.

leroy said...

101st Podium?

I've been studying for my test.

And Commie Canuck -- you don't really think you're going to convince me that the light goes off in the refrigerator when you close rhe door, do you?

Honestly, how dumb do I look? (That's a rhetorical question.)

camembert teuton said...

is it about Floyd? is ist about LA?
I´d say it´s about pro racing, hence this T. Hamilton sentence:
"I think it’s everywhere, but there is a mafia in cycling. That’s pretty much all I’ll say about it, I’ll probably get banned from a race if I say any more, but there is a mafia out there."

(see http://velonews.competitor.com/2008/10/road/in-an-interview-with-neal-rogers-tyler-hamilton-talks-about-redemption-the-cycling-mafia-and-life-on-rock-racing_84106)

I hope Landis, whatever the previous lies, the fundraisung etc, has managed to fuse the bomb i´ve long been waiting for. A good mafia is a blown-up mafia.

Still, i love watching racing. Contradictory? Maybe the wednesday weed aftermath..

bikesgonewild said...

...good link. anti & a excellent post...

...i can't muster the hate & vitriol in this situation that i see some folks directing at not only floyd but also the lance-ster...i doubt he'll ever in his lifetime admit to doping, even if it were to ultimately save the sport, not sink it...

...he believes he has too much energy & faith invested in his foundation & he's carrying too many people wearing "livestrong" yellow on his superman cape to back down...i can see the logic, right or wrong...

...just like to see a transparent sport, foolish as i am...

wishiwasmerckx said...

I remember seeing Floyd at Interbike in Vegas last fall. He was sitting all alone in a sponsor booth. It was the perfect opportunity to go over and talk to him, and you know what? I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

The Alarmist said...

My God! Did you see how the market reacted to the Landis news? Linky

urchin said...

Sheesh. Let's talk about helmets again.

Or bike porn.

Whatever it takes. This topic, and anything a famous/implicated person says about it hasn't been meaningful for years.

Lob deliver us back to two-fer televised race days.

fierce panties said...

blood, urine, fraud, thumbtacks...

another podium for RTMS

Stupid Name said...

There a whole lot of haters out there.

I have read snobby for quite a while, and I don't ever remember him putting on Lances scrotum patch at any time. He got to ride a few times with him, but I don't remember him stuffing Lance down our throats.

Lance is not the news, he will either stay innocent, or be found guilty. I would ride with Lance, I would not introduce him to my younger sister, but I would ride with him.

What is interesting is that Landis went after Bruyneel and McQuaid by name, and stated that the UCI had made a deal to keep any doping confidential. Makes McQuaid and the UCI look alot like professional baseball when Conseco was called a lier by Selig. Does anybody think baseball is any cleaner? I guess the major problem is that Bruynell only gave Landis 100,000 for doctors.

Never go with the low bidder, you wont get caught next time.

Landis is another example of disposable athletes in big money sports. You know he had to keep quiet in hopes of racing again. It did not work out, he just was not that good. Pity him, he was the fool, now he gets to get even.

bikesgonewild said...

...wishiwasmerckx...how about now, if you saw him today ???...

...yes, he made some extremely bad personal & tactical decisions & kept quiet about it for years but he decided not to continue the hypocrisy so he "outed" not only himself but the whole fucking ballgame...

...lesser riders have offered a certain amount of info previously but ol' floyd just shattered the "code of silence", the omerta, that's been in existence forever, in pro cycling...

...i applaud the attempt & hope it leads to some honesty within the sport & doesn't devolve into nothing but issues regarding floyd's state of mind...as lance has already intimated...

...i'd shake his hand & buy him a beer...

stefan said...

@bikesgonewild

it has already started
here

frilly said...

And somewhere in Pinto, AC is laughing his ass off.

Anonymous said...

Keep sucking, Eben, Lance is about to come!

frilly said...

Stefan--I left a little comment on the Shack's website. I'll be curious to see if they publish it.

David Henderson said...

I like Floyd. In 2006, possibly millions of people wanted to be his friend. He's no hero, that's for sure, but I still like Floyd, and racing with him last year was my most memorable race ever. I was afraid to ask him to take a picture with me, he surprised me and put his arm around me like I was his friend. I wish Floyd the best, but I think it's going to get a lot worse before it gets better (if it ever does)

bikesgonewild said...

...stefan...it was no coincidence that armstrong crashed & went to get x-rays today...he couldn't have spent 4 hours on a bicycle today if his life depended on it...& i'm sure that's exactly how he viewed it...

...two words...damage control...the boss doesn't go for a bike ride when the shit hits the fan...you roll up your sleeves & direct the cleanup effort...

...sorry, frilly but being as your boy 'berto was under the wing of bruyneel for years (albeit, not to tightly) i doubt he feels to secure right now, to be honest...i mean, really...all those "grand tour" wins, hmmm...

...just sayin'...

frilly said...

I'm just sayin' Levi, Horner, Popo, etc. wanted to remove themselves from Astana as fast as possible.

bikesgonewild said...

...those guys knew from whence their bread was buttered...

...besides, different issues & 'berto was locked into his contract...

...he'll be elsewhere soon as that contract expires, no matter how warm vino's embraces are...

frilly said...

True enough!

But they didn't just quietly go, it was all done with such an air of smugness. Blech.

Ahhh, Vino's warm embraces, I wouldn't mind one of those.

Salty Seattle said...

Okay, that was a fun discussion.

It's time we all shush now about this cycling thing. The Flyers/Habs game is starting.

Next! On Versus.

bikesgonewild said...

...OK...go habs...i've hated the flyers since they "gooned up" hockey back in the '70's...games never been the same since...

...but les canadiens are looking pas bon, malheureusement !!!...

...same goes for the sharks also...

yofilly said...

Go Flyers!

Anonymous said...

Is there a single functional cycling-follower in the adult world who REALLY doesn't realize that all the major contenders, plus probably the majority of peloton-fillers, are doping one way or another? It's just the ones who stick things to their scrotums who get caught. . . .

Miss Muff said...

Say what you will, I think people who drink Michalob Ultra are douches.

Jefe said...

It's o.k. to dislike Lance, and it's acceptable to believe Floyd (despite the fact he has lied under oath, in his own book, and to his friends and relatives), but the claim that Lance crashed today in order to avoid dealing with the allegations is completely insane. Even when those guys are loafing at the back of the peloton they're going 20 mph.

Stupid Name said...

http://www.teamradioshack.us/why-floyd-landis-burned-lance-armstrong/

This is a fucking creepy website. Whoever the marketing firm is that put this together should be shot.

Does anybody believe this shit?

Floyd spent 2,000,000 to defend himself, because somebody with a lot of money gave it to him. Image, and perception versus reality.

It has to be bush juniors marketing team.

I will boycott radio shack forever.

Jefe said...

That page is gone Stupid Name. On a brighter note, Montreal 3 - Philly zero (after 2 periods).

yofilly said...

@stupid name,

Can't find that article. Could they have already removed it?

Stupid Name said...

Son of a bitch, campers. Put your foil beanies on, it was there 30 minutes ago. I guess the message is never mess with rich texans.

Anonymous said...

So... Dr Lim tapes pieces of string to his cyclists on training rides, just to put a patch on their taint later?

Cycling mafia? Like in "Triplets of Belleville?"

I just don't see it.

Jefe said...

Stupid Name, your credibility is reaching Landis-level.

Montreal 5 -Philadelphia 1 (Final)

wp said...

anon 1:19, "first cleanie"

that's effin' funny.

but if you're going to top-ten regularlay around this place well, you've got to see the doc...

heath said...

time to stay indoors, where it's safe.

Weight Weenie said...

And over on weight weenies the templar knights of pure bicyling have not lowered them selves into this cess pool .... not one comment in passing of this tragedic event, just the purity of stem weight reduction suggestions and clincher wheels under 1000g.

They shall inherit the vast waste lands of tarmac once the unclean have slid to the back of the peleton to pass their zquillion dollar pee pee onto the weeds on the side of the road.

prolly said...

"I know him pretty well and he's a solid dude and has been riding bikes for a long, long time for whatever thats worth."

Salty Seattle said...

Muff-

You're so hired.

Jefe-

Yes!

BGW-

I totally [heart] you.

Rocket Richard said...

Hockey, Canadian golf? Lace em up Bike Snon NYC & game on. BTW better wear your mouth guard and get used to sutures...

Nogocyclist said...

The problem of doping in sports gets all the news but the real problem is simpler than that. The problem with professional sports is that it is a business. Plain and simple, to most of the athletes it is a way to make money. The fans are suckers enough to make it so profitable to provide entertainment from professional (and Collegiate) athletics that those in the business are so desperate to get their share of this money that they will do whatever the can get away with.

This motivation in the more main line sports is even greater than it is in cycling. The real solution is for people to support amateur athletics for the joy of the sport. In cycling, the solution is for people to get out and enjoy a race for themselves. For those of us unable to ride, enjoy the sport through the kids in our lives or through our friends.

Here football (American type) is the big sport. It is just as enjoyable to watch a Friday night High school game and is sure a lot cheaper than the $400 to $1000 tickets that the local pro team offers for sale.

The secret to better cycling racing and all other sports is to remove the ridiculous amount of money that is needlessly involved.

Anonymous said...

Sorry, I fell asleep when the word "doping" was mentioned...

I was hoping that I could come to BikeSnobNYC's blog to escape this drivel infecting other bike related media. All hope now abandoned...

landis in 06 said...

stop talking dirty about me. this also means Lance will tell us too that 'It Was/Is About the Bike'

bikesgonewild said...

...salty seattle...while it's nice to be hearted...just please don't do those sideways "smiley face" grammatical symbol thingys...

...i'd hate to be called for cross-checking a lady into the boards...(yea, habs - 5/1...yes !!!)...

...even though i may abuse ellipti, i can't deal w/ those thingys...

cyclegoddess said...

CC,
I am not dirty! I have handiwipes in my little saddle bag thingo!
CG

cyclegoddess said...

LA was and still is a major inspiration to anyone who has been quite ill, like myself.He got up from his deathbed and got back on the bike. That what means most to me, not the wins. Likewise, Obree conquering his depression.
Poor ol Floyd. Riding at night, trying to fool his strict parents. That was the inspiration.
He may be trying to morally commit suicide, being indoctrinated that the wages of sin(like lying) bring ruin.
They are human, and failable and men. I still love them for what they conquered, even if they fail somewhere along the line.

stefan said...

Anon 9:46 PM

You don´t see the mafia?

Well, read this profile

cyclegoddess said...

As a cyclist in general, I am interested to see how this turns out.
Compulsive liars never seem to change, the ones Ive met. Also, people made wierd by religion tend to gloss over their failures.Rabid ones tend to lie. Also,people with nothing to lose can and may do anything. So was it LA who might snuff it or FL, who dug himself into a hole?

cyclegoddess said...

So Llyld admits to HGH.
No wonder he looks like the man in the moon!! ewwww!

Thee Punk Rock Chef said...

"I always bait my breath when I'm fishing for compliments." -Benny Hill

bikesgonewild said...

...jefe..."the claim that Lance crashed today in order to avoid dealing with the allegations is completely insane. Even when those guys are loafing at the back of the peloton they're going 20 mph."...

...couple a' things...my suggestion was quite the opposite...lance wasn't about to avoid dealing w/ a damn thing...he wanted to deal w/ this head on...one simple pre-race press conference was not enough because this isn't about name calling, simple issues or allegations...

...he wasn't gonna sit, stew & mull for 4hrs today on a bike...this was huge...& i was far from the only one to make that "insane" call...

...& just how insane was it ???...in lance, we're not talking about one man's career, credibility or ego here...we're talking about a huge fucking empire...

...the livestrong foundation, (which i will always have faith in despite the "douchery"), all those good folks affected in an positive manner by lance's public altruistic persona who don't know squat about bike racing, the union cycliste' international, aeg, amgen tour, bruyneel's coaching organization, bruyneel's foundation, carmichaels coaching organization, the careers of those faithful to or associated w/ lance, chechu, levi, george, zabriskie, nike, trek, sram, team radio shack, frs, michelob...

...armstrong is arguably the strongest boss/personality in the peloton since eddy merckx...
...to reiterate...when you're the boss & your empire is threatened, you don't go for a bike ride, you assess & draw plans to counter...

...that's exactly what lance did...the peloton was still on the road & armstrong & minions were using every form of media to call floyd's mental health into question...if you're publicly gonna punch a man in the balls, simply question his sanity...stops everyone in their tracks...

...as far as the physical aspect of "how ???"...well, i'll be honest...i didn't see the crash 'cuz a tv wasn't handy but you seize the opportunity...crashes happen regularly...pay attention, slow up, get trapped behind a group & fall over @ 3mph, not 20mph...

...just speculatin'...

Stupid Name said...

jefe,
You are right, I have no credibiility.

I know it was Thursday so the weed was gone. I only had one Ultra, I was sitting down to eat my pasta with some grated Parmesan cheese and a boiled egg and no sauce. I put my yellow livestrong bracelet back on, and I am truly sorry.

Radio Shack please do not mess with my credit score. I am sorry, I truly am for not believing.

I now know how landis feels, dont fuck with powerfull rich people. Oh yea, I love the UCI also.

My google account no longer works, I am truly sorry.

CommieCanuck said...

BGW sez:.time to come clean & actually clean up the sport, you fucks !!!...

Guys, when has cycling EVER been clean? The velodrome era of the 1890s ended because of race fixing and cheating. The 50s-70s were the amphetamine era (even the Cannibal got caught). The 80s was pot belge, then into the hormones of the 90s-now.
Never gonna happen.

Jefe said...

bikesgone wild and stupid name, I did not mean to insult you. I was caught up in hockey fever. You (like many) have a bias against Lance, which makes you susceptible to believing any information that discredits him. That is natural. However, as one whose profession [identity hidden] gives me thorough knowledge of criminal conspiracy trials, I can tell you it takes very little for a criminal, who is cooperating with prosecutors, to toss in the names of others for their own benefit. Anyone with intimate knowledge of doping need need only describe their own conduct in detail and follow it with "...and Lance did it too." Also, I think the details of the crash yesterday, and the injuries to all involved, clearly show this was not something staged at 3 mph.

CommieCanuck said...

I am not dirty! I have handiwipes in my little saddle bag thingo!

Oh sure, handiwipes brought down Festina in the 90s. ...Wiper.

I think the Pope should sanctify Greg Lemond, St. Gregory, patron saint of douchebag outers.

CommieCanuck said...

Jefe, you're a pro hockey fan and your concerned about dopers in sport? have you actually seen the size of those neanderthals up close?

Jefe said...

CC, please don't take my comments as showing concern about doping in sports. I could give a crap if Landis won the 2006 TDF with an IV strapped to his top tube. I'm a civil libertarian. My concern is about accepting untested claims as fact, just because you like or dislike either the claimant or the accused. You know - like being called a commie before you made it ironic. By the way, why is Gionta such a shrimp? Is LaPierre hogging all the HGH?

wishiwasmerckx said...

Nogo, you have more or less touched on what I was referring to yesterday on why the French hate American tour winners.

It is only in part because we come from a society with no cycling tradition, then dominate their national tour. It is only in part because of American cultural hegemony globally.

Its also to a great degree that we bespoiled the purity of their sport by bringing American-style salary demands, sponsorship deals, general commercialization and so on. Before Greg Lemond, $100,000.00 a year was a good salary for a pro cycling star and domestiques toiled away for about $20,000.00 a year. After Lemond, the top guys started commanding salaries more in line with American pro sports.

CommieCanuck said...

My concern is about accepting untested claims as fact, just because you like or dislike either the claimant or the accused.

So OJ Simpson did not kill people? Sorry, but civil libertarians are ok, as long as there isn't a corrupt legal system, and corrupt people. Good luck with that.

CommieCanuck said...

WWIM..I'm pretty sure Hinault had more to do with that than Lemond. Besides, all TV sports saw a boost in salaries and costs at that time. In 1978, Walter Wolf complained bitterly that a year in F1 cost him almost $2M. Today one driver alone could make $30M.

the frog said...

the french don´t hate American tour winners.

There have been 2 US winners.

G. LeMond is a respected figure in french cycling culture, even though he defeated L. Fignon and the rivalry with B. Hinault. If G. Lemond went to a french bar or restaurant owned by a cycling fan, he´d be offered the drinks/the meal, and asked for an autograph.

As for the other winner...

frilly said...

Ha! The Shack removed that page. Doubt my little comment had anything to do w/that decision, but still...

I like the Flyers--Chris Pronger fan from his days with the Blues.

Stupid Name said...

jefe,
Don't worry about it. No insult taken. It was there one minute, and then it was gone, I SWEAR ON LANCES CHAMOIX.

For those who do not remember how clean cycling was here is a reminder.

http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/20044

184

Check out the UCI web site,

Jefe said...

Frilly hates Lance and loves the Flyers, and yet we are friends.

CommieCanuck said...

You guys are STILL into cycling? the sport of the '10s is SLACK LINING.

Read about it at Slack Snob NYC.

Jefe said...

Way too much doping in slack lining. All the pros use LSD.

frilly said...

Hmmm, when you put it that way, I may have to re-think things a bit.

I'm kidding.

How does that old song go? You say to-mae-to, I say ta-mah-to.

Anonymous said...

Does Pharmstrong's approval on Twitface mean that much to you? Or is he paying you too? You're a sellout for taking the easy way out on this one.

Ronan said...

All my friend outside cycling believes that Lance has already been caught. This is only an issue in the cycling world, according to my vast collective noun of friends.

CommieCanuck said...

Anonymous said...

Does Pharmstrong's approval on Twitface mean that much to you? Or is he paying you too? You're a sellout for taking the easy way out on this one.


Hi Floyd!

CommieCanuck said...

Ronan, you have fiends outside of cycling? why?

Anonymous said...

BSNYC is on The Jefferson Exchange radio right now at:

http://jpr.streamguys.org/jpr-news.m3u

g said...

@1206
hopefully that means Vito is writing the funk whiz today and it will be a little easier. I missed placing the ol' ball patch last night and may not be up for a tough one.

Josh said...

Yeah, I just posted my own take on this debacle.

Always great stuff man, thanks.

http://www.squadraprofessore.com

Anonymous said...

Jim Hoyt of Richardson Bike Mart is both generous and a BFF with Lance Armstrong (he was one of his first sponsors). His flagship bike shop is f-ing huge.

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