Thursday, March 25, 2010

BSNYC Product Review: Outlier Winterweight OG Pant

(Inconsiderate commuter executes a bare-headed talk-and-salmon.)

Some of you may recall that in the sultry days of last summer--indeed, the day after "Bastille Day," otherwise knows as "Frenchypendence Day"--I hoisted a post onto the Internet about a pair of shorts made by a company called "Outlier." (That's pronounced "OOT-lee-AY.") Well, so pleased were the shortiers at Outlier by my willingness to smear mayonnaise all over myself that this past January they went ahead and sent me a pair of their "Winterweight OG" pants without the slightest bit of solicitation on my part. Here's the description from their webular store:

And here is a more embellished description from their webular site:


Just in time for snow, the Winterweight OGs are back. Made in New York City these pants are designed for life both on and off your bike, all winter long. Yeah you'll see your breath as you cross the bridges and zip past your coworkers trapped in traffic, but you'll wind up at work feeling great and looking better.

The Winterweight fabric is a heavier fleeced back version of our core 4Season fabric with a 3XDry Treatment. Designed to keep you warm and dry no matter where you ride, yet still look good and wear comfortably when you get inside. A four-way stretch ensures you can move freely, handle the repetitive motion of cycling and still look sharp and refined.

The 3XDry treatment is directional. It pushes water in just one direction, away from your body. It wicks away the sweat and moisture, breathes as well as you do, and is seriously water resistant. Most rain, snow or slush just beads up and rolls away. It's a softshell so eventually it will saturate in intense conditions but when it does get wet, you'll find yourself dry in 10-20 minutes when safe from the elements. The doubleweave fabric has Cordura woven towards the outside for durability and a soft fleecy interior for a beautiful warmth and comfort.

Medium lean in cut. Wear it with a sport coat and oxfords or a hoodie with sneakers. More importantly, wear it without thinking, wear it like a second skin, wear it like a classic that works for any occasion. Fits true to size.

Finally, a garment you can wear "without thinking!" I'm so sick of those pants that will only stay up if you constantly do math problems in your head. In any case, while the Outlier pants (or, in fancy-pants parlance, "pant") may have come "Just in time for snow," obviously I'm writing this just in time for spring, so please forgive my lack of punctuality. However, as a great human quote factory once said (I think it was Ralph Waldo Emerson, or maybe Henry David Thoreau), "It takes many months to get to know a pair of pants, though it takes only a few moments to soil them." Also, as it happens, barely a month after I took delivery of the pant(s), I received an intriguing email.

As frequent readers of this blog already know, I employ a helper monkey named Vito, ostensibly to perform the menial tasks with which I can no longer be bothered (such as writing). However, Vito's career has now taken on a life of its own, and more often than not he's off auditioning for film roles (he just landed a supporting part in "Gorillas in the Mist II: Hairy Situations"), doing photo shoots for Smithsonian magazine, or making celebrity appearances for PETA, leaving me to clean the "five Japanese slow-drippers" or pair my own socks. Anyway, the intriguing email I received was from an area high school senior named Spencer Madsen. Spencer (in articulate and sarcastic prose that belied his 17 years) explained that he was feeling generally bored and unfulfilled, and that in some misguided search for meaning he wanted to work as my intern. So, with a pile of unpaired socks sitting beside me as I read this, I agreed to meet with him.

Some time later, I "interviewed" Spencer Madsen in a popular chain coffeehouse. I was impressed with Spencer's intelligence and personable nature, though I was dismayed by the fact that he laughed when I told him I needed somebody to go to the post office and wash bicycles for me. Clearly, as a product of the "Internet generation" Spencer was more interested in an ironic internship than the legitimate sort I performed in my dues-paying years. (I have been yelled at and demeaned by an impressive list of people.) Still, he was undeniably enthusiastic, and he was also demonstrably a good writer. So, after the meeting I filled out the tedious paperwork that is unfortunately becoming an increasingly significant component of "curating" this blog:
As I filled this out, I thought to myself, "If only I had somebody to do this for me," and despite the fact that I was giving Spencer a 2 out of 10 at the time I nonetheless decided to "hire" him. Yes, I now had my very own ironic intern, and I decided the first thing I'd do was make him test out some pants.

(Just in case you're skeptical at this point, I can assure you that, yes, Spencer Madsen does exist, and no, he is not a friend or relative. BSNYC/RTMS Industries Inc. Ltd. LLC strongly disavows the practice of nepotism and is an equal opportunity ironic employer.)

Anyway, back to the Outlier Winter OG pant--which, as you almost certainly noticed already, costs a whopping $188. Obviously, this is a lot of money. In fact, in Outlier's own copy (for a similar garment, the "4Season OG Pant") they say that "you can rock them like Dickies." So, why not just actually "rock" Dickies? They only cost like $20 or $30, depending on where you buy them, and like the Outlier "pant" they can be worn with a dress shirt and shoes in a "business casual" situation, or with sneakers and a t-shirt in a "faux dive bar" situation. This is what I generally do--though I will admit that, depending on your saddle choice, Dickies can be susceptible to "ass wear." Here are a few of my own:

Now, I should say that all of these have seen a fair amount of use, and I'm sure plenty of readers have experience with other relatively inexpensive work pants that hold up better. Still, "ass wear" can be a factor with almost any "pant," and it can also be potentially embarrassing. The pair on the right are particularly worn, and substituting a lemon for my "pants yabbies" illustrates the extreme consequences of the phenomenon:

Of course, I always wear underpants with Dickies, but I do tend to go "commando" when it comes to filling them with citrus fruits.

So what about the Outlier "pant?" Well, after three months of pretty frequent use the posterior portion is in very good shape:

Moreover, they're quite comfortable, and they do handle moisture the way Outlier describes:

Still, is the Outlier pant worth like eight pairs of Dickies? Even if they outlast eight pairs of Dickies, you still only have one pair of pants, whereas with cheap pants you can at least rotate (and you can also make cheap jokes about sitting on Dickies and rotating). Also, commuting to work on a racing-type saddle will certainly wear out your fabric since they're often designed to have a bit of grip when used with lycra shorts as they're intended, whereas a wider, more "comfort"-oriented saddle will be decidedly more pants-friendly. So, in pure economic terms, you're probably just better off changing the saddle on your commuter and simply using the pants you already have.

But there's more to pants than posterior durability; there's also style. Can you "wear it with a sport coat and oxfords or a hoodie with sneakers"? Well, I don't wear a sport coat or dress shoes unless somebody close to me is either getting married or buried and I have to attend the concomitant ceremony. Still, for the purposes of "testing" these out, I got a little "dressed up:"

I call this my "Reservoir Douche" look, and to compliment it I grabbed one of my "test-cycles:"

Here I am riding to my pretend job at a bank, insurance company, or legal firm:

Of course, when you're riding a bike like the Electra Amsterdam, you don't need specially-engineered pants since the drivetrain is totally enclosed and you're sitting bolt-upright on a wide vinyl seat. Really, it's about as hard on your pants as sitting in a Honda Accord or riding the Long Island Railroad--which is why I doubt most of the commuters in Amsterdam or Copenhagen bother to spend $188 on cycling-specific technical dress pants. Really, we only need them in cities like New York, where people who work in fields like advertising and design feel they need to commute to work on designer fixies or "vintage" road bikes with embroidered saddles.

In any case, I felt conflicted about these pants. They were comfortable and they were apparently durable, but they were also $188. It was time to put my new ironic intern to work and see what he would make of them, for even though these are pants designed for going to the office and Spencer is a 17 year-old high school kid with no job I figured his youthful perspective would be helpful somehow. So I had Outlier send him a pair. To give you some background, here's Spencer himself on his own personal dressing and riding style:

Let's keep in mind that although I'm 17 and live in New York, my style isn't exactly 'hip' and while I pull off skinny jeans from time to time, my daily wear pretty standard: A T-shirt and blue jeans. For cycling however, I switch it up, I wear a T-shirt and shorts. No lycra, no spandex, no skin-tight torn black pants that I bought vintage at a thrift shop for eight bucks or something because I don't shop at name-brand stores like you tools. I'm neither a roadie nor fixster, nor a douchily shaved Italian railroad worker with an enormous credit card debt due largely to things like spending $180 on a pair of pants.

So when presented with these chinos, I was unsure of what to think. My first reaction was their comparative likeness to the Dickies pants ubiquitous to my prepubescent skateboarding phase.

As you can see, Spencer is an ideal ironic intern--he's only 17, but he's already dismissively describing the folly of his "prepubescent skateboarding phase."

Anyway, once Spencer had the pants, I instructed him to evaluate them in the following categories: Fit; Style; Peer Response; and Performance. Here are his results:

Fit

The OGs, like all super-complex things made from biologically engineered materials like “The Shoeller Dryskin Extreme Fabric” require ample description. The blurb for this garment epitomizes these pants as the do-it-all of cycling wear, and they do indeed do it all. The fit is very particular, and rather insulting to a guy of 5'7. With a waist size of 27, I've always considered my build average–– My doctor's never commented on my weight/height ratio, though maybe he's just been polite. Insecurities aside I slipped these pants on and the first thought was textural, with the flexibility of a lesser-lycra, the thickness and feel of light sweatpants and the appearance of expensive slacks, these chinos have a truly unique character. Snug around my waist, they felt comfortable. I zipped up the fly and fastened the button above, immediately realizing I was only half done. With a two-fold security system the button-through-a-slit mechanism is just phase one, hook-through-a-hole is what seals the deal. Fears of being 'pantsed' quelled, I took a few steps forward, noticing my feet hidden amongst rolls of “The Shoeller Dryskin Extreme Fabric” I bent over to cuff the hems of each leg. Once, twice, three times before they stopped dragging on the floor. Now I gave both Outlier and my stature the benefit of the doubt and looked at the online-photos to see if these pants were meant to be rolled up, hoping to maintain my notion that 5'7 is a fine height for a male. Much to my dismay, however, the only times a model rocked cuffed pants were to avoid the bicycle chain. So sporting thrice-cuffed pants, I took a gander at the mirror. They looked alright, I thought, and got ready for school.

I think what Spencer's trying to say is that they fit well but were long. I guess kids today don't know how to "hit up" the tailor.

Style

My commute is an hour each way and I normally doze off to my tunes on the train or fall asleep on the shoulder of some stranger beside me. That morning, however, the OGs dominated my thoughts. I have always felt silly wearing sweatpants in public. They offer a little too much freedom for my taste. The OG's gave me a similar sense of nudity, but I knew I looked snazzy. They're not as form fitting as I'd like, and this may just be my personal preference, but in the mirror my legs looked pretty shapeless. As a cyclist I jump at any opportunity to flex my chiseled lower-limbs, and opportunity this was not. For the purposes of the pants though, I understood. Tight pants aren't yet appropriate in the workplace.

I agree that the Outlier pants feel sweatpantsy, though I am concerned about Spencer's tendency to shift the review away from the garment and to his own legs.

Peer Response

The moment I walked into school Wednesday morning, I half-expected looks, comments, even concerns as I made my way to my locker. My usually plain blue denims were now replaced by something that had “self-cleaning nanosphere treatment” technology. I was wearing the brainchild of a mad—yet fashionable—scientist, and no one seemed to notice. I went over to the Hipster posse who had just finished their milk-and-two-sugars coffees and reeked of Cloves. I told them about this company Outlier and pitched the pants to them, as they stared blankly. One of them played with a lighter. I asked if any of them rode track bikes, and two responded, saying they had “Fixies” with “Deep V's.” but they couldn't wrap their mind around $180 for a pair of pants from a brand they didn't recognize.

I proceeded to lunch, which meant loitering in the sixth floor hallways. My friends, who were aware of my wearing these pants prior to the day all said one thing when they saw me: “Where are they?” I guess the cost and science of these pants are not apparent to the untrained eye. I explained “This is it, I'm wearing the pants now,” which was surprising, to all of them. I did get a “Whoa!” or two when they felt the material, though. They didn't expect the feel of “Thick faux-spandex” as one of them put it. “They're meant for cycling as well as the work place,” I told them “So you can ride to work, and everyone thinks you're wearing slacks.” The idea prompted some interest, but the star of the discussion, as usual, was Julian's Extra Cheddar Goldfish. He shares, sometimes.


I guess Outlier have no cachet with the under-21 "hipster" community.

Performance

The only pants I've ever ridden in are my blue jeans. I ride my fixed-gear in jeans all the time, and it's fine, really. It's just on my road bike that pants making riding seem impossible. On my road bike, it's torture wearing jeans, truly. I hate it. I'd rather take my bike on the train, go home and change then spend more than twenty minutes riding in pants. So to put the OG's to the test, I took out my road bike and went for a rather chilly winter ride.

With one leg cuffed to my shoe, and another to my knee (No chain guard, no problem) I rode around, up hills, down hills, up curbs, keeping a steady 15 mph. Five minutes in I experienced no problems, ten minutes in, no fatigue. Twenty minutes in my legs felt fine. I kept going, as I hadn't ridden anything with a freewheel all winter, and enjoyed a 20 mile ride to Manhattan's upper west side and back. Despite my nose running like a faucet, it was an unusually nice ride, and thirty minutes in I completely forgot I was wearing pants. It wasn't until I was back in my neighborhood that I realized why I was riding, and immediately forgave the lesser-lycra feel. It's a sacrifice that's well worth the performance.

The next week it rained, and according to Outlier, the OG's repel drizzle, so off to school I went once more. Half expecting to see rain drops directed towards my legs to veer away from my force-field woven nanospheres, I walked at a leisurely pace to the train station. The drops hit my pants like any other item of clothing, but instead of being absorbed into the fabric they just kinda sat there, on the surface. So while 'repel' may not be the right word, these chinos are water resistant, a brisk shake and all the water fell to the ground.

Spencer has just come up with Outlier's new tagline: "I completely forgot I was wearing pants."

In conclusion, I will say that the Outlier pants do exactly what the makers claim they will do, though they don't do so cheaply. If you absolutely must ride a race bike to a job that requires you to look like you didn't ride a race bike to work, then you may want these pants, and you also may not balk at the price. To me, though, the real revelation is Spencer, who delivered a quality review for free--making him an excellent bargain.

145 comments:

Tony I said...

Nice one Snob.

Sean Yeager said...

Weeeeee

nombei said...

aiya!

Anonymous said...

just missed the podium

CK said...

Top 5?

Anonymous said...

5th, bollocks

Astroluc said...

Top Tizzle

wishiwasmerckx said...

Top Ten.

Anonymous said...

Make that 6th, bollocks

Anonymous said...

mmmmmmm, pie.

Anonymous said...

Eleven!

Disgruntl Ed. said...

Pants that I can wear without thinking are my kind of pants. Actually all of my pants have turned out like that.

singlespeedspinning said...

oh yeah

Pee Wee said...

Top 15 bitches!

ryan said...

13?

Paul Bowen said...

Top twennee!

Sasha Frere-Jones said...

Hey Spenser's a good writer. Let him know that there are plenty of opportunites at the New Yorker for for someone with his keen and ironic wit.

Dave said...

You know who else uses their blog reviews as an excuse to write about himself, especially his massive quads? Your friend, the Fat Cyclist. Maybe Spenser can split his internship between Fatty and you.

Charles said...

Top 20?

Pontius Pilate said...

HAIL CSZR

-P.P.

wishiwasmerckx said...

First, the "bike salmon" at the top of the post bears an uncanny resemblance to Eldon "Fatty" Nelson.

Second, Snob, buy a belt.

Third, because the wear pattern on the seat of those Dickies is consistent with a saddle, I will give you the benefit of the doubt, but with yesterday's Irritable Bowel Syndrome refefence, I can put two and two together, you know.

rezado said...

hi-rez

hillbilly said...

"who delivered an a quality review for free", need an editing intern? oh, who am I kidding, I'm no disgruntled.

Good stuff, don't off Vito though, I love him. I look forward to "hairy situations"

Anonymous said...

Something about this Spencer kid I don't like. Better watch your pant yabbies and your wallet around this punk

frilly said...

Snobby you look really cute all dolled up. I like the blue tie.

IBS said...

Shit on that!

Mongo Pusher said...

Sanchez !

Anonymous said...

Is Spenser any relation to Michael Madsen? I note your veiled reference to the film "Reservoir Dogs" with the phrase "reservoir douche."

Anonymous said...

Sorry, Spencer, not Spenser...

ant1 said...

ant1st!

Astroluc said...

So I guess you could say that Spencer was For Hire?

Anonymous said...

with all the time and detail spent on this pants review, this is what jumping the shark looks like.

Anonymous said...

holy crap that was a long post. No way I could read the whole thing. Can someone post Cliff Notes?

ant1 said...

spency - "Much to my dismay, however, the only times a model rocked cuffed pants were to avoid the bicycle chain of So sporting thrice-cuffed pants, I took a gander at the mirror"

Anonymous said...

Snob: don't stand around with your hands in your pockets - it ruins the lines of your suit.

mikeweb said...

back of the bunch - turned in 3 lunchtime laps at CP. 'Twas the bees winter pants covered knees.

Anonymous said...

Ah you poor sucker on the East Coast have yet to experience Ben Davis work pants.
They're monkey tough.

mikeweb said...

This review looks too long... are the Cliff's Notes out yet?

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure I like the tone of that kid. He's got a ways to go before he can dismiss me as a tool.

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure I like the tone of that kid. He's got a ways to go before he can dismiss me as a tool.

Anonymous said...

The 3XDry treatment [...] breathes as well as you do...

If so then I want nothing to do with it. Who needs a pair of pant (sic) that gasps and hacks on hills?

Anyone else struck by the Italian railroad guy's disproportionately small head? Stamp out wide-angle-lens misuse!

Anonymous said...

wow, not sure about the pants, but I'm sold on the Electra.

mikeweb said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MINGUStheMECHANIC said...

I don't like it it one bit, like I never trusted Captain America and Bucky or Batman and Robin.

Young white and and probably privileged gets internship with Monkey man, sounds creepy especially the pants part. Will you both wear your pants together and ride around laughing, smiling while taking pictures of eachother.

Ask spenser(aka Hawk) if he knows any girls(legal age though, it wouldn't look right) who want an internship, you can have a batgirl and a robin.

Will you get him a chicken suit too?

You know what I think I am very jealous right now so i should go.

Anonymous said...

I can handle the repetitive motion of cycling

Henry David Thoreau said...

"Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes."

mikeweb said...

Hmm. 1 block farther than where that voco-salmoner was documented on Prince St., I almost ran over a crackhead in the that same bikelane lane this a.m.

Maybe this fine gentleman in his natty footwear was calling 911...

Oh, and that douchey Italian railworker totally stole my look. Though my head is normally sized and my douchey beard pattern occurs naturally. and I'm not Italian.

durty said...

hardly for free, he got a $180 pair of pants

JTK said...

May I be a swag salaried editor for the newly hired yet typo prone contributor?
"Let's keep in mind that although I'm 17 and live in New York, my style isn't exactly 'hip' and while I pull off skinny jeans from time to time, my daily wear is? pretty standard:"
and
"My first reaction was their comparative likeness to the Dickies pants ubiquitous to my prepubescent skateboarding phase." Is that a reaction?

Overall though, I enjoyed the guest contributor. A little trimming around the edges and he'll be sporting the Landing Strip of blog posts.

ervgopwr said...

So now the recruiting window for positions at BSNYC LLC LTD 501(c)3 is open?

I'd like to submit my resume for "West Coast Associateway/Epic Burrito-currator/TestCycleCzar"

Please send all correspondence to my helper-marsupial .

ant1 said...

snobby - are you grooming spencer to be your first franchisee?

ant1 said...

or heir to the throne?

Grace Period said...

I feel like I'm under so much pressure around here. they don't keep track of places at Fatty's blog. I'm gone an hour and I don't even make the top 50. It's really upsetting.

TJ Eckleburg said...

Nice, it's like that scene in Reservoir Dogs when mr Orange tells a made up story about the drugs and K9 cops in the restroom.
oh wait there's already a reservoir reference.

Anonymous said...

When I blew through your post the first time I thought maybe "Spencer" was none other than William Browning Spencer, whose love for bicycles has been well-documented by Bill Strickland. He also wrote "Maybe I'll call Anna" and "The Return of Count Electric". Judging by his writing, he's one weird motherfucker. He could certainly be a hipster. But he's way over 17.

Anonymous said...

So, does Spencer get to keep the pants after all that?

Anonymous said...

So, does Spencer get to keep the pants after all that?

Anonymous Coward said...

PANT NTRN

NO BELTS!

a merry un-birthday to frilly

Daddo said...

hilarious!

hey Spencer (if that is your real name), what IS the length of those pants?

Anonymous said...

I hope you're not referencing Dane Cook's use of 'situation' as a euphemism for the vagina when you're talking about "hairy situations."

You see, the problem isn't with hairy 'situations'. It's with Dane Cook.

Anonymous said...

Visitor from Australia during Snowmagedon '10, these pants were awesome in the snow and slush, got smashed with after wash from a taxi looked down and the F..k'n S..t 'n' P..s 'n' C..p had all pissed off just like they said they would. Crickey!! Looks like if you Yanks actually start making decent gear again instead of other nations, we all might be able to get back up on our feet again. Although Bespoke jeans/pants from amsterdam are pretty good also although a bit hard to walk into the Waldorf=Astoria with and go straight to the bar. All the best >--<er

Adie said...

was spencer just being ironic when he used the wrong then/than?

I'd rather take my bike on the train, go home and change then spend more than twenty minutes riding in pants.

this kid is a genius of irony. playing on the common misuse of the word. brilliant!

grog said...

looking sharp and refined and plussed.

Pee Wee said...

Since those pants give one a feeling of flying commando, for safety reasons Spencer may want these while employed as a tester for BSNYC.

ant1 said...

spency - good job on your review. don't worry about correct grammar too much, that's what douchebag commenter like myself are for. if it weren't for finding snobby's typos, i wouldn't do anything productive at work.

and remember, fitting pants or bikes is no excuse for snob to touch you in your special place, even if he's a priest in the church of lobster or a BSNYC (boy scouts NYC) troop leader.

Paul Bowen said...

So he's 17 and on his first day you're asking him to dress up in the special trousers? The special 'shrug off liquids' trousers? Think about how this looks man.

In other news, you should get Spenser to read this: http://www.boingboing.net/2010/03/24/how-the-tsa-will-ins.html#comments
and give you and Vito a precis before you next fly.

Paul Bowen said...

Sorry very lazy, here's the hyperlink I should have inserted above.

Manhattan DA's Office said...

Spencer, show us on the dolly where the bad man touched you.

Anonymous said...

There's nothing at all homoerotic about a man recruiting a 17-year-old boy to model special pants and even if there is, 17 is above the age of consent in New York.

Anonymous said...

Spencer, you are a little too sardonic for a 17 year old. Most people will find that annoying. but of course that is what this blog is about, so overall great job on the review. keep up the good work, stay humble and go get snobbie a f'n coffee, like now!

whoever spends $188 for those shite pants deserves what he gets.

3G said...

This week on PPV: Vito v Spencer cage match. The Intern Showdown

Winner gets to ask Lennard Zinn if an 8sp Suntour Freewheel can be used with 11sp campy shifters and a mid 80's Shimano Deore DX rear derailleur...in PERSON.

PANT TENT

Anonymous said...

What the hell good are waterproof pants? Where am I supposed to dry my hands after washing?

Anonymous said...

Lennard Zinn is dead...oh sorry, that's Howard Zinn...

Anonymous said...

PS.... I reckon the old Snob is trying out/curating a new/another colourway/literarway as per his ye olde spiel on bike riding in the olden days. (the intern doesn't exist) He just wants to see the response/colourway/intelligence of the readership.

They're always really long and gives him time to test his gear on the street without being busted by fans/fellow workers like an iceman assassin freezing their victims/curated contracts...before disposal/publication.

As he's going to make/publish/curate a snob chronology (book) on cycling in the NY re: the Dashdog of time... I'll put moneh on it! >--<er

yogisurf said...

Spenser, stick to sandwich making. Get some dye and fix the ‘white taint’ on your bosses’ pants. Those pant(s) reviews were longwinded and tiresome. You have a future with the J. Peterman catalog or maybe World Wide Pants, inc. Just kidding…enjoyed the blog.

Anonymous said...

Bike Snob dresses to the left.

Shaun said...

Please fire Spencer.

CommieCanuck said...

That salmon on the cell phone...I've seen him before somewhere. It's been bugging me all day, searching and searching the interweb, then I found it...

<a href="http://www.tribute.ca/tribute_objects/images/stars/dan_hedaya.jpg>Nick Tortelli</a>, Carla's husband on "Cheers".

(Do I even have a job?)

CommieCanuck said...

Nick Tortelli

Get this, he lives in Brooklyn and he's Sephardic Jewish.

Anonymous said...

ironic internship = bondage training

BSNYC: from bestiality to bondage

Test Tickle said...

call me crazy, but i'm thinking that BSNY and ol' Spencer are the

SAME DUDE

balls.

Nogocyclist said...

Spencer, I must know. When you said your waist size was 27 and you think this is average, is this a typographical error or are people in NYC super skinny?

Here in the south, 37 would be much closer to average. A size 47 would be common, with sightings of 57 and even 67 not uncommon. A waist size of 27 inches around here would be about average for a grade school whipper snapper, not the average 17 year old.

So, was this a typo or do I need to get out and travel and expand my perceptions?

Disgruntl Ed. said...

I too liked Spencer's style, and wish him well.

There were plenty of little language errors, some of which have been noted. When I get around to hiring an intern I'll have him/her/it supply all the details.

Testing pants that already have been tested by the boss fits well in the category of degrading tasks that interns are asked to perform. I hope that you had Vito launder them in the interim.

George Not Hincapie said...

Spencer; BikeSnot NYC

mucho said...

another great, if poorly edited, post.

Nogocyclist said...

All readers of BSNYC, I am warning you, there is no "Spencer Madsen." Snobby has become paranoid that he is going to put his foot in his mouth. He invented Spencer Madsen so he can blame everything he does wrong, on him. The proof is in all the grammatical mistakes today. He did not care to correct them, why would he? "Spencer" is only 17, he made all these mistakes. What do you expect from a kid? Just wait, if he gets away with this, we will need to use Google Translator to convert what he says from Gibberish to English.

It is a conspiracy! He will also blame everything, everyone is offended by, on poor ol' "Spencer."

Anonymous said...

Good job Spencer. Learn to use a semi-colon and you may have a future in writing. I'll leave it to the Snob to "drop" further grammatical pearls for your edification.
Love,
An editor

trundle said...

I like your reviews, and as supple as today's web log is (140 tpi), I somehow feel cheated, like the sprint was bought, or something. Anyhoo, I ain't buying these here pant.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Spencer and the Snob are not one in the same. Spencer rocks out in a 27" waistway, while Snob is stretching the s*#t out of a pair of 34"s.

Nogocyclist said...

Upon further review of the post, I have confirmed my assumption that there is no Spencer Madsen.

I subjected the BikeSnobNYC/RTMS Prospective Intern Evaluation Form to the usual forensic tests. After searching for foreign fibers, analyzing fingerprints, and testing the ink to determine the type and source, I noticed something I should have seen before calling for all those tests: The Nameway of the Prospective Intern is "Spencer Something Madison...?"

I determined that this form was handwritten by Snob himself, by comparing this writing to his signature below and from previous samples we were able to obtain from his previous posts.

The conclusion we can make from this evidence is:
1. The writer of the parts of the post, was Spencer Madison, not Spencer Madsen.
or:
2. All this was concocted by Bike Snob himself so he would not have to correct and own up to his own mistakes.

Either way, the evidence is conclusive. There is no intern by the name of Spencer Madsen.

So Members of the Jury, it is you duty to convict Bike Snob NYC of false pretence.

A true beliver (Bike Snob NYC is perfect!) said...

I checked facebook. There is indeed a Spencer Madsen. He lives in NYC and appears in his profile photo to be around 17.

There is only one confusing matter in this matter: Spencer used his wedding photograph for his profile. Surely someone who would hang out with Bike Snob NYC would not rush into getting married at 17?

Swashbuckling Dandy said...

@ George N.H.
"BikeSnot NYC" I love it!

Who knew Snobbie's inner 17 year old would be so much fun?

leroy said...

Is it just me or did today's post remind anyone else of Mr. Zimmerman's career advice?

Especially the part that goes:

"ah get born, keep warm
short pants, romance, learn how to dance
get dressed, get blessed
try to be a success
please her, please him, buy gifts
don't steal, don't lift
twenty years of schooling
and they put you on the day shift"

Okay, maybe it's just me.

Nice review Spenser. Hope you're getting community service credit or something.

Anonymous said...

More Spencer!!! Really - Funny. Great Read. Loved it. And I am buying my son a pair of the pants!

LLama said...

I would just like to say that Nogocyclist is completely wrong. Spencer is a real live person, whom I know and love.
Also, most of the people who felt the need to comment on the grammar mistakes in the post (which really don't matter; this blog is about bikes, not the English language) made mistakes themselves. I probably did too, big deal. ANYWAYS, good job Spencer!!! As I've always said, I love your writing! And you!

District XII said...

I approve of this intern of yours. I was definitely not that clever when I was 17.

Anonymous said...

i'm a lady, and i could sure go for a quickie with BabeSnob in the alley in his little suit...mmmm!

Anonymous said...

You may be female, but you are no lady...

Spencer said...

first day was fun!!

Anonymous said...

Century!!

StillNotWorking said...

Nogocyclist: 27" pants size is on the low end even for a 5'7" guy regardless of geography. It's also a pain trying to buy pants which are trending to starting at 32" these days. Even 30" is a getting hard to find.

I was 27" at 5'8" as a college freshman, but sloth and a good greasy diet over the years has finally allowed me to buy 30's in the grown-ups' department. No more creepily haunting the boys' dept trying to find pants! So there is hope for young Spencer. On the other hand can't climb hills as well as I could in the old (or is that young) days.

Nogocyclist said...

StillNotWorking:
I live in the state that is considered to have the most obese people in the nation. This fact probably puts us at the top, or at least on the podium, for the most obese people in the world.

A man wearing a 27 inch waist down here is truly rare. Somewhere else, it might be a little more common.

Llama: I am joking when I try to state the case that there is no Spenser. I don't know if Bike Snob is making this up or not. With his humor, he very well could have concocted a 17 year older to write for his blog. The truth is if he did, he did a pretty good job at it. It was totally believable.

That being said, I would not be a follower of his blog if I did not make some crazy comment about his post, either way (by Snob or really by Spenser.)

Sorry for being long winded everyone.

I must say Llama, your comment is a classic if you are not the mom, girlfriend, or a very close friend of Spenser's. My comments are just my wise cracks. They are not meant to have any substance whatsoever. If Spenser is for real, I look forward to reading his writing again in the near future.

Bikefag said...

AHA! A clue! The Bikesnob is white! Keep on the lookout for a white guy riding a bike in NYC, everyone!

Nogocyclist said...

United States is the nation with the most obese people in the world.
Mississippi is the state with the most obese people in the United States.
Memphis is the city with the most obese people in the nation.

I thought my area would get the podium. Memphis and Birmingham snuck in an beat my city!

I put too much effort into posting all those links, so I am leaving them in this message. But.....

I just had a major revelation. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Bike Snob is fixing to publish a book. Fat Cyclist is giving it away to the participants of the 100 miles to nowhere.

We will get to know him. Even if he does not publish his name in the book, we could determine who he is from the copyright ownership.

Wow!

Is this probable? Spenser Madsen is Snob's son. Llama is Snob's wife.

Holy smokes. I think that could actually be.

This could mean that the Snob's last name is Madsen. We will have to wait to find out what his first name is. Hmm... sounds like an excellent question for Friday.

Llama and Spenser my sincere apology, I did not know.

Nogocyclist said...

Well folks. I changed my profile photo. I think it fits better.

Anonymous said...

fuck spencer!

leroy said...

I'm looking forward to BSNYC's book.

Just hope it has pictures and doesn't have a lot of big words.

I once sprained my lips trying to sound out the names of the ingredients in a popular sports drink and couldn't read anything but Garfield comics for a month.

hoot79er said...

I found the graphic representation of your pant-yab to be deeply unsettling.

ant1 said...

while i'm pretty sure spencer is not snobby's kid, i say we pretend he is. wither way, he needs a nickname.
LIL' SNOB? I'll chip in if he gets that knuck tat.

Not Nogocyclist said...

OK. I did jump to a conclusion us over 40 year olders tend to make. Llama could be Snob's girlfriend, not necessarily his wife. Spenser could be his girlfriend's son.

In either the case, the Knuck Tat "BOSS SNOB" would be appropriate for Llama.

I really don't think "a" Boss Snob would allow Snob to spend all his time at home writing this blog, so I always assumed he was single. For this new theory to be true, Snob must have a job that lets him get away with goofing off all the time.

If Llama is Snob's girlfriend/not wife, I would thing Spencer's Knuck Tat should be LUVC HILD. What would really be cool if there was such a thing as alternate day tattoo ink. One day his tat would be LIL' SNOB, the next LUVC HILD.

OK. If Llama is really BOSS SNOB, I may be getting myself in trouble again. Maybe I should use an alias?

Stephen Cottrell said...

Awesome, Thank you for posting this review, something we could use in Minneapolis for sure.

Chris said...

While you're on product reviews, how about the new Wal-Mart hipster with "High-profile colored rims add urban style" ??

http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=13398142#ProductDetail

CommieCanuck said...

Here in the south, 37 would be much closer to average. A size 47 would be common, with sightings of 57 and even 67 not uncommon.


...and those are just thigh circumferences.

Check out these southern performance pants.

Nogocyclist said...

OK, I read the post again. Snob did said he was not a friend or relative. That leaves son of his "significant other" as the most likely option.

I guess I have to wait to see why Snob actually used his real name. I still think it has something to do with Snob coming out any day now because of his soon to be released book.

ant1 said...

will there be a coming out party?

CommieCanuck said...

Here in the south, 37 would be much closer to average. A size 47 would be common, with sightings of 57 and even 67 not uncommon.


...and those are just thigh circumferences.

Check out these southern performance pants.

ant1 said...

it was funny enough the first time CC

Nogocyclist said...

C. C. Totally off Yesterday's topic, but I checked out the site (but did not check out the two in the Photograph.)

When looking at the site the photo was from, I did see the lengths people in NYC (assuming this is from NYC) go to to avoid having to worry about parking tickets.

How not to get a ticket.

MrRevolution said...

yayayaya. The post is much like the pants: obscure, a bit long, but of the highest quality.

revolutionrickshaws.com

Nogocyclist said...

Where's the party?

ant1 said...

probably in the pants they reviewed.

ant1 said...

i hope we're invited.

wle said...

that guy's pretty funny
the free intern
he uses a lot of words
but most of them are the right ones :)

wle

wle said...

he rides his fixie with long pants and no pants-strap?

wouldn;t a chain-snatch be fatal on a FXE?

or am i just mis-reading the situation here?

wle.

Nogocyclist said...

I checked Elden Nelson's site. His 100 mile ride to nowhere is May 8th. Knowing Elden's power of persuasion, he probably talked Snob into waiting until May 8th to come out during his event.

The party will be by invitation only for the 500 people (aka suckers) who are going to do a century going nowhere.

I will not be there. I may be the Nogocyclist, but I am not not the Gonowherecyclist. Still, I have never had the opportunity to attend a "coming out" party, but I would love to go to that one.

Wonder if they will serve Cockles or in honor Snob go for the Lobsters.

Anonymous said...

I think 180 is fair for sweat pants that you can wear to work!

eeeeeeeeee said...

awesome post

cyclegoddess said...

Forgive me if I am wrong, but Snobby cant have a wife. I think he said he preferred male genderways?

Anyhow, if you want a female intern, I can ride over my marsupial and Bob's your uncle!
My grammar is just as crap as Spencer's, and they have enough girls in cycling anyhow( as one cyclist said to me).

PCLA said...

When Spencer finishes this internship, he can become a Spencer For Hire (though not a cool as Robert Urich):

http://crazyabouttv.com/spenserforhire.html

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lol said...

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lol said...

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lol said...

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Anonymous said...

Just found the blog after reading the WSJ article. Brilliant!

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Anonymous said...

i am tired of the levis, dickies, etc for riding. i average over 40 miles a day everyday, and would like what outlier appears to have on their website; a straight, simple, clean lined, well tailored bike pant made with good quality bike-functional material. the problem is in reality their tailoring is terrible. their patterns are poorly designed (too much flare and too high rise as well as bad clowny pockets on og's and workwear, bad gussett design in workwear, etc). really, jeans have far more moveability than the workwears (they really are the most difficult pants for riding i've ever worn). the climbers look cool and with a better cut; but like all the pants, the stitching is twisted or they don't lay smooth on sides, etc. really just poor craftsmanship. if they made a climber cut with a thicker material to rest better, or did their workwear with a lower rise, more tapered leg, no gussett, and just a little stretch...i would happily support these guys. bottom line. poorly designed and poor/random/inconsistent construction.

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