Thursday, February 11, 2010

Working in Tandem: Love and Cycling

In many parts of the country, February is the bleakest month in terms of weather. However, for this reason it is also a time of hope during which the popular imagination turns to spring. For example, back on February 2nd we celebrated Groundhog Day, though there were conflicting prognostications: Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow and declared six more weeks of winter; Staten Island Chuck said there would be an early spring; and Williamsburg Ethan (the "hipster" groundhog) was too hung over to get up at all and anyway he didn't have anywhere to be until like 5:30pm.

Once hairy things start going in and out of holes, it's only a matter of time before people start thinking about love, and on February 14th many couples will reenact Groundhog Day groinally in honor of the holiday known as Valentine's Day. Inevitably though, these expressions of love will be tainted by outside influences as foolhardy people attempt to incorporate their own interests into Valentine's Day instead of temporarily setting them aside and focusing on their partners. Cyclists especially have a tendency to do this, since many of us are unable to focus on anything besides bicycles for more than a few moments. Sometimes though, both members of a couple love cycling as much as they love each other--at least according to this recent post on the New York Times "Spokes" blog:

Here is the story of the happy couple pictured above:

In this case, it would appear that two people can live together in a blissful state of love and perpetual cycling. This makes me very happy, I wish them many joyful years together, and I have absolutely no issue with them. I do, however, have an issue with the Times and its description of the couple as "young, tattooed lovers." I'll take the their word for it that the couple is tattooed, but 30 is not young. I realize that our culture now grades youth on a curve, and that 30 is the new 20 and so forth, and that Williamsburg Ethan's parents do not expect him to "get serious" and pay his own rent until he's gotten that MFA he's been "pursuing" for the last eight years. But in the context of love, young still means young, and even in the 21st century "young love" is "Juno," not "Sideways." On top of that, the couple has been together for six years, so it's not even a young relationship. If mainstream media like the Times keeps pushing the physical definition of "young," before you know it "barely legal" porn will mean pictures of people making withdrawals from their Roth IRAs just a few days after the maturity date, and as "hot" as that may be from a financial standpoint it's not terribly arousing.

Of course, you can't talk about love and cycling without talking about tandems, and the Times also looks at another couple (at age 60, I guess they just missed the "young lovers" cutoff) for whom the tandem is a "mirror onto the relationship:"

This is absolutely true. Relationship warning signs you might encounter on a tandem ride are:

--Your partner pedals too fast;
--Your partner pedals too slow;
--Your partner is giving you "the finger;"
--You are alone on the tandem because your partner is in bed with somebody else;
--Your stoker is a sex doll.

I also agree that you can tell a lot about a couple by the way they share a tandem. For example, this couple both care deeply about the environment and only occasionally have mild disagreements about which items can be composted or who borrowed whose Native American beaded hair tie:


This couple have different feelings regarding recumbent versus upright bicycles, but they made it work:


And this couple is so in love they don't even need a tandem:

Ahh, young love.

Still, not everybody can ride together so successfully, and sometimes you've just got to set the bike aside and pay attention to something else. Even though I taunted "Bicycling" for going skiing yesterday, the truth is sometimes you've got to "switch it up" a little, and the well-rounded person can continue to enjoy life if circumstances make cycling difficult or impossible. For those that can't, though, there's always roller racing. I recently received a newsletter from "Rollapaluza," who were breathlessly excited over a drop-in from Mark Cavendish:

Roller racing is a unique area of cycling in that it seems to appeal to both uptight racers and the shants-and-wool-caps "bike culture" set, though to me watching people race without going anywhere is about as interesting as one of those water balloon games. I guess the reason roller racing works for these two disparate groups is that the only way to get "serious" racers into bars is to hold bike races in them, and the only way to get "bike culture" people to race is to hold the races in bars. ("It's OK to be in a bar as long as there's a race," the roadie tells himself, just like the porn-addicted homophobe tells himself it's OK to watch two penises touching as long as there's a vagina in the shot somewhere.) Marginally less boring than roller racing though certainly more ridiculous is underwater cycling, of which a couple of readers recently informed me:


It's interesting to note that, while people do some pretty dumb stuff on fixed-gears, when it comes to truly idiotic cycling endeavors the low-end mountain bike is almost always the vehicle of choice. In this sense I suppose it is the Rhesus monkey of the bicycle kingdom.

Speaking of the "bike culture," their appetite for overpriced designer u-lock holsters shows no signs of being sated anytime soon, and another reader recently forwarded this item to me:

Unfortunately, if you're in the market for an exotic fanny pack, or a hands-free purse, or the wallet equivalent of a colostomy bag, you're going to have to wait because this isn't available yet. You can, however, purchase this delightful frame bag:
I'm not sure what an "artisanal itch" is, but if you have one I recommend seeing a doctor--or if you're still snowed in, at least apply some Preparation H and resist the urge to scratch.

232 comments:

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モバゲー said...

出会い専門のモバゲーSNSが誕生!メル友、恋人、セフレetc…貴方の理想に合った関係になれちゃいます。素敵な人と過ごしたいならココで見つけてみませんか

スタービーチ said...

今はたった一度しかやってきません。大切な貴方の時間をもっと有効に活用しませんか?スタービーチならきっと本当に求める相手が待ってる。このチャンスが人生を変える転換期です

スタービーチ said...

最近スタービーチが女の子のコミュニティーサイトで話題中みたい!!夏休み目前ってのもあり登録比率に女性の数が半端ね~、やっぱり夏に一人は辛すぎや~とか思ってたら、暇な娘多すぎ・彼女簡単に出来ちゃった

スタービーチ said...

出 会いを探しているのなら会員数ナンバーワンのスタービーチ!開放的な夏休みはここで新しい出 会いを見つけよう!

モテる度チェッカー said...

夏休み目前になり、一人で大事な休みを過ごすのは誰でもイヤと違う?そんな時にモテる度チェッカーで簡単診断、この夏アナタも彼氏・彼女と過ごすための貴重なアドバイスが手に入りますよ、もうアドバイスに対しての感謝のメールが毎日!!アナタもこの夏を乗り遅れるな

グリー said...

グリー発信!!出会い専門SNS誕生、今話題のgreeから出会いをGETしよう。greeにしかできない事が盛りだくさん!!気軽にメールするだけで出会えるサイト・・・貴方の理想の異性と出会いませんか

モバゲー said...

モバゲー専門の出会い掲示板が誕生!出会いを求めている方にはオススメのサイトです。幸せな時間を過ごしたい方、淋しい思いをしたくない方はぜひご覧ください

逆援助 said...

逆援助でお金持ちになる事が可能なこの時代。セックスのテクニックさえあれば簡単に大金をゲットする事ができます

スタビ said...

スタビでできる新しい恋・・・素敵な出合いをするならスタビから始めてみませんか?女性に面識のない方でもサポート機能があるから安心してご利用できます。是非一度利用してみて下さい

Anonymous said...

iPad Bicycle / Motorcycle Mount

The new Apple iPad has Steve Jobs, the highest paid in a decade! However, the Apple iPad is lacking, rumors have it they are improving their designs rapidly! What the new Apple iPad lacks in most is a mount, something to secure the Apple iPad while on the go.

I am a big fan of going green, by riding my PEDEGO electric bicycle more. However, the only things I have really found out there to secure the new Apple iPad is a jacket, talk about all that heat! Recent E-Bay ads have slowly reached more and more options, as demands increase. I tested a bicycle mount, the only one I have found so far. I was the only bid, I think perhaps because the word is not out there yet. I have never seen anything like it before. It mounts onto your bicycle handlebars. My Apple iPad is uncrushed, undamaged, and works great on my bicycle. I now have a GPS, a Speedometer, music, the weather, the news all on the go on my bicycle. I could not ask for a better mount! I am impressed with this design. This design also allows me to turn my apple iPad 360 degrees, as well as access all the ports. Checking out e-Bay as “iPad Bicycle”, “iPad Mount”, the seller is TPFIINC.

モバゲー said...

モバゲー出会い掲示板は色々な種類の出会いを扱っております。登録無料で新しい恋の始まる事は確実です

ツイッター said...

今話題沸騰中!?新感覚出会いをツイッターで体験しませんか?リアルタイムで相手が何をしてるか分かるから、理想の人かどうかが簡単に分かる。貴方の理想の人をGETしませんか

mコミュ said...

素敵な出 会 いで愛を育む♪理想の人と楽しめる関係を築きませんか?mコミュでしか味わえない幸せを掴みましょう

スタービーチ said...

スタービーチで会える!?理想の異性をGETしよう☆素敵な出会いばかりだから求めている関係も作りやすい!!貴方が求めているのはどういった恋ですか?

名言チェッカー said...

他の人が言ってる名言や格言って良い事言ってるな~とか思ってる方、名言チェッカーで今日から自分に相応しい言葉を見つけませんか!!これでどんな人にも一目置かれる存在に為れますよ

mixi said...

mixiをも凌駕する出会い率!!出会いをするならここしかない♪mixiより出会えてしまうこのサイト。一度ハマれば辞めれません。スタービーチで素敵な出会いをしちゃいましょう

モバゲー said...

モバゲーで出会いをすれば楽しい事は間違いありません。暑いからこそ出会いを楽しむべきなのです。登録無料で簡単に利用可能!

モバゲータウン said...

モバゲータウンでは恋愛から出合いまでのキッカケをつかめる無料のコミュニティサイトです。常時サポートスタッフが掲示板をチェック、サクラや業者を排除しておりますので安心してご利用いただけます

スタビ said...

スタビが今一番アツイのはご存じでしょうか?夏休みで出会いを探している娘とすぐに会えちゃうんです。登録無料でここまで出会える所は他には存在しません。今登録して良いパートナーに巡り合おう

スタービーチ said...

出会いのシーズン、夏到来!スタービーチでご近所さんと知り合っちゃおう!ひと夏の体験も女の子は求めている

モバゲー said...

モバゲーでついに出会いができる!?楽しめる出会い、求めていた出会いはココから始まる。素敵な出会いでまずは関係づくりwしていきましょう

gree said...

greeで素敵な時間を過ごしたい・・・そんな願望を叶えてくれるサイト誕生!!今までにないドキドキ感と興奮をこのグリーで楽しみましょう

スタビ said...

スタビで出会いができる!!いつでもどこでも出会いが可能なスタービーチで最高の出会いをしてみませんか

mコミュ said...

簡単な出逢いはココでできる☆素敵な出逢いをmコミュで体験していきませんか?楽しめる出逢いを経験するならここしかない!!まずはお試しを

ツイッター said...

新時代突入!ツイッターで始まる出逢い…ここでしかできない出逢いが新しい風を巻き起こす!!素敵な巡りあわせを体験していこう!

SMチェッカー said...

あなたの秘められたSM度がわかるSMチェッカー!簡単な質問に答えるだけで自分の隠された部分が分かります!みんなで試してみよう

モバゲー said...

今やモバゲーは押しも押されもせぬ人気SNS!当然出 会いを求めてる人も多い!そこで男女が出 逢えるコミュニティーが誕生!ここなら友達、恋人が簡単にできちゃいますよ

モバゲー said...

もう夏休みも終わりに近づき、この夏最後の思い出を作りたいと焦ってる方が、モバゲーのコミュニティーに書かれてましたよ!!折角なんで夏の思い出作りに協力して自分も美味しい思いをしてみるのはどうですか?大手スポンサーサイトが付いてるので全部タダですよ

グリー said...

最近はどこのSNSサイトも規制ばっかりで、ちょっと出 合いに関して書き込みするとアク禁食らうけど、夏休み終盤に差し掛かり色々なサイトを調べた結果、グリーだけはどうも規制が緩んでるみたいです。今がチャンスの時期ですよ

ツイッター said...

ツイッターで出 合 いを求めるのです。気の合う異性と交流して楽しいひと時をお過ごしください。登録無料で使えるので気軽さは100点満点!

mコミュ said...

mコミュでならご近所さんと出会える確率99%!友達や恋人を探してる人はここで見つけてみませんか

モテる度チェッカー said...

夏休みももう終わりに近づきこのまま一人は寂しいのちがう?そこでモテる度チェッカーを使い自分がなぜモテないか診断してもらいましょう。10~20代の女性アドバイザーが多数在籍してるので、アドバイスを参考に夏終盤を楽しもう

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