Thursday, November 12, 2009

Culling the Culture: Great Balls of Lips

Back in September, I mentioned that the band The Flaming Lips had put out a casting call for naked riders to appear in a music video. Naturally, they sounded this call in Portland, where people sit poised and ready to mobilize the second anybody needs anything ridiculous and cycling-related to be done. As I understand it, it works like this: Let's say, for example, an aging rock band needs to draw attention to itself inexpensively due to both the moribund state of the record industry and its own increasing hoariness. Well, this is easy to do if the band knows four things: 1) Hipsters pay attention to anything having to do with bikes; 2) Nudity always gets attention; 3) People in Portland love to ride bikes; 4) People everywhere will do anything to get attention. So what the rock band then does is notify the cycling authorities in Portland, who in turn sound a giant air raid siren that can be heard for miles on both sides of the Willamette River. Then, everyone reports to a designated area with their bicycles for debriefing. Orders can range from "Ride your bikes around dressed as Michael Jackson," to "Let's help someone move to a new apartment," to "Let's get naked to help The Flaming Lips sell music." (In this case, they were quite literally "de-briefed.") Whatever the cause, these ever-agreeable Portlanders are happy to oblige.

As it happens, a reader informs me that The Flaming Lips have already finished their video, having spent less than two months and virtually no money. (For the cast, humiliation is its own reward.) You can watch it here, but if you find The Flaming Lips's music as tedious as I do then it's my pleasure to summarize it for you instead. First, it opens with a bunch of naked people on bikes:

Then, the singer, Wayne Coyne, appears in a bubble:


Then, we see a Hairy Vagina Ball:


Next, more naked people start to emerge from the Hairy Vagina Ball:

(I suppose The Flaming Lips did have to spend some money on construction of the Hairy Vagina Ball, though even that can be done inexpensively--especially if you send a production assistant out into the cast to collect pubic hair clippings and then apply them to the Vagina Ball with a gluestick. I also regret not having been present to witness the moment when the director raised the bullhorn to his lips and asked the crowd, "OK, who wants to get inside the Hairy Vagina Ball?")

At this point, the "song" begins, though it's mostly just the suggestion of a song, since like the bubble in which Wayne Coyne is housed it never really gets more than a few feet off the ground. Here's what Coyne looks like as he disinterestedly intones the lyrics:

Eventually, the crowd starts passing the bubble around like a giant beach ball:

Finally, they stuff a naked Wayne Coyne into the Hairy Vagina Ball:

Despite my total lack of enthusiasm for The Flaming Lips's music, I have to admit that this is a formidable artistic accomplishment, since they've somehow managed to make even naked people passing into and out of a Hairy Vagina Ball seem hopelessly pedestrian and indeed barely worth watching. I suppose this is because their music is about as exciting as a big bucket of old bongwater, the spilling of which can dampen even the most animated and festive proceedings. I suppose also this is why "Do You Realize??" is now the Official Rock Song of Oklahoma. (Incidentally, I'm currently working on a rock song about burritos which I plan to send to Governor Schwarzenegger for consideration.)

Nonetheless, I can't help but perk up a bit when cycling makes a cameo in popular entertainment, even if that cameo is often awkward and embarrassing. Another reader informs me that the TV show "Castle" recently featured a plot involving a dead bike messenger. I had never seen "Castle" before, having dismissed it as yet another show featuring a main character with a domicile-themed surname à la "House." Actually, I still haven't really seen it, since I only watched the very beginning, in which the messenger dies. If you'd like, you can watch it yourself here, but essentially what happens is that a Nü-Fred stuntman who looks nothing like a bike messenger and who wears his bag on his stomach instead of on his back pulls off as "epic" a piece of bike-salmoning as any I've ever seen:

Then, his Swobo Sanchez plows into a car and he dies, at which point someone comes out of the car and steals his bag:

Who has stolen the bag, and what's in it? Will Castle be able to solve the mystery? Will he team up with House or Shaq or someone else named after a dwelling? Will there be a spin-off called "Hovel?" To find out, you'll either have to watch the show, or else just listen to The Flaming Lips, which will make you forget all about the show since it induces all the apathy of smoking the Wednesday weed but without any of that pesky "insight." ("Entertainment value" is truly a useless by-product.)

Speaking of stuffing things into other things, yet another reader has informed me that in Copenhagen (which is like Portland if it were twice as bike-friendly and four times as dour) they're so advanced when it comes to cycling that they've transcended the problem of regular bike parking and have moved on to cargo bike parking:

Yes, in Copenhagen they're building cargo bike parking while in New York City people will still tell you to "Get on the sidewalk." This is like how, during the Middle Ages, China flourished culturally while Europe was busy inventing new ways to kill people for saying the Earth revolved around the Sun. Frankly, I find reading about bike-friendly cities like Portland and Copenhagen and their ingenious little solutions highly irritating. It's like getting an excited voicemail from your friend who says, "Guess what? I finally figured out where to put all this money!" Yes, people in Copenhagen are so enlightened that, according to the post, only 2% of them are bothered by their own smugness:

Interestingly, only 2% of Copenhagen cyclists find cargo bikes irritating.

Of course, that number might fluctuate if, instead of pink cars, the city started installing Hairy Vagina Balls.

Also according to the post, in Denmark they just don't have cargo bikes; they have cargo bike culture, as you can see in this photo set:

I realize I have a fairly parochial view when it comes to the use of certain words, but nonetheless I maintain that the act of carting crap around in a wagon does not qualify as "culture"--even if you do it while talking on a cellphone and wearing designer clothes. In a sense, the word "culture" is sort of like a human spleen. When healthy, it's useful and important. However, once it becomes diseased, you're better off having it removed, since you can still live without it. The word "culture" became diseased when everyone started attaching it to everything from bicycles to video games. If "culture" were completely eradicated from the English language, we'd miss it, but we'd still be able to function. "European culture" would simply be "European" or "Europe." "Danish cargo bike culture" would simply be "Danish cargo bikes." "Ancient cultures" would just be "ancient peoples." Other organs will take over for the spleen, and other words will take over for "culture." At this point, we're on the cusp of someone actually referring to "culture culture," at which point it will be too late. (Though I suppose this might be somewhat acceptable if you're referring to a primitive rainforest tribe that worships yogurt.)

Meanwhile, as the Danes figure out what to do with their cargo bikes, here in New York City our new bike lanes are being taken from us almost as fast as the DOT can paint them. No sooner did this one appear in Brooklyn than it was appropriated by horseback riders:


This is especially frustrating since there's a perfectly serviceable dirt path right next to the bike lane:

I was tempted to yell "Giddyup!" and thwack it on the rump as I passed, but the only thing that stopped me was that I didn't want to injure the horse. (In retrospect, I now realize I could have done that to the woman in the mustard pants instead.) It could be though that she thinks she's entitled to ride her horse in the bike lane. Maybe she's on her way to Mongolian cyclocross practice.

143 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi there! Pooo Pooh

Astroluc said...

top 3?

ALgoat said...

ALgoat

Anonymous said...

4?

landis in 06 said...

ballz

Brien said...

top 10

wishiwasmerckx said...

Top Ten.

rezado said...

hi-rez

Asterisk said...

Aste Risk

Anonymous said...

ten

Astroluc said...

and to think that just this morning on my ride into work, I inexplicably hollered the word "yogurt" to the traffic driving by... does this then mean that Culture culture is officially open and accepting applications?

I think I started the North East chapter this very morn!

I'm staying the F away from giant hairy vagina balls, though.

Billy Reid said...

beauty

ant1 said...

Prima Formica!

Astroluc said...

CLTR CLTR

Misty said...

Small car is to clowns as giant hairy vagina ball is to naked hippies

Dann said...

Once again, a top notch post. The addition of "culture" just seems to be an excuse to form a group of people who can be marketed to, much like "active lifestyle" (or your "physical culture) is really just a euphemism for "people who exercise".

hillbilly said...

don't ride horses, bro!

Anonymous said...

isn't is waning whiner Wayne Coyne as Coldsore Lips singer?

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 1:10pm,

Oops! Thanks!

--BSNYC

krexus said...

Wayne Coyne. Not Mark.

Oxycontin Annuity said...

Rolling over the hood was fatal?
And how did the Sanchez move away from under the front left wheel before bad-guy-wearing-black got in and drove off?

That helmet sucks!

southpole said...

worshipping yoguhrt is incidentally called cargo cult

Visegripmikey said...

I obviously didn't drink my Coca-Cola this morning...

wishiwasmerckx said...

Oxycontin Annuity, it is called a continuity error in the trade. They probably couldn't run over the bike because they had to have it back to the bike-rental place by 5:00 or lose their deposit.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Wow, I couldn't agree with you more about the Flaming Lips music video. The video is the unfortunate afterbirth of the giant vagina ball. I am all for "rock out with your cock out" and "jam out with your clam out," but that was strangely and thououghly unsatisfying.

Anonymous said...

HORS FCKR

There was an AP string in the last week or two about a guy in the Carolinas who must have been in the midst of a long dry spell. He was arrested for buggery. The horse's owner was quoted extensively along the TMI thread.

Anonymous said...

Thee and thy thououghlies.

mikeweb said...

Stay out of my pink trunk! to Coyne a term.

Anonymous said...

Hey, the horse was just askin' for it, what with dressin' that way, and swishin' her tail around all provocatively an' such.

landis in 06 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
landis in 06 said...

BSNYC

I think your break last week has enlightened you beyond any stale bongwater or cargo bike ever could. I'm wondering if while away you didn't yourself get stuffed inside 'the hairy vagina ball' only to come out to a new culture.

andy said...

As a Dane, I am highly offended that you would equate the widespread acceptance of the bicycle to the human spleen. We would much prefer the duodenum.

hairy cargo bike said...

I can't decide if I'd rather have a cargo bike or a giant hairy vagina ball. Either one would be really hard to fit in my garage and would be difficult get up any type of hill.

ant1 said...

man, so now even balls can be vaginaed (or vaginated), but why only juan pelota? is this a flaming lips lance armstrong collabo?

youaretheengine said...

Am I wrong in assuming that Flaming Lips is the direct result of riding a bicycle naked?

Maybe that's why everyone was going so slowly.

mikeweb said...

Snob, today your 'culture' commentary swerved fairly close to a well thought socio-linguistic treatice. You sure you aren't angling for Bill Safire's job now that he's gone?

Anonymous said...

"Bike Snob NYC

Systematically and mercilessly disassembling, flushing, greasing, and re-packing cycling."

Anonymous said...

horses in bike lanes and on paths really are a nuisance. here in portland along an eastern section of the springwater, some people let their horses leave behind "culture" which is nearly impossible to avoid riding through. i suppose i'll buy a bottle of disinfectant to clean my wheelbrows.

mikeweb said...

It was only a matter of time before some hack TV writer ripped off this.

db said...

"No one touches the Shaqtus."
.

leroy said...

Oh dear. This is disturbing.

I have a near death experience last night and someone else's life flashes before my eyes.

Now, thanks to BSNYC, I figure out it wasn't someone else's life, it was probably the outtakes from a Flaming Lips video.

No wonder I had trouble maintaining interest.

I guess it could have been worse. It could have been a Culture Club video.

As they say in Portland, my mellow has been so like totally harshed.

jolene said...

hey i think that box ball is wunna them meterfers hal the old hippie that sells me murrawanna is always jaw jabbin about i think ima go askim

leroy said...

Ant1 -- PhillyJen was right. Very classy!

ibn bin necker said...

so ricky i mean rakim wants to know why he has to settle for 72 virginians becos he thinks tennessee babes are hotter

Dominic said...

That Flaming Lips video is a blatant Zardoz rip off. Wayne Coyne was just dying to reenact the classic scene where Sean Connery uses his caveman strength to rip through the supposedly indestructible plastic wrap around the greenhouse.

keith said...

Castle = Murder She Wrote meets Moonlighting .

JClev19 said...

Anyone see that episode of "House" in which Mos Def plays a cyclist who crashes due to some crazy neuropathy? Mos Def is great, and bikes are great, but that episode just sucked, especially his incessant voice-over.

If you take a throat culture from the indigenous tribe that worships yogurt, would that create a "culture culture culture?" Is the world finally ending?

rezado said...

Do you really want to hurt me?
Do you really want to make me cry?

MINGUStheMECHANIC said...

Snob seeing that you are on a roll this week may I request a double post on friday like back in the day?

Can i smoke, burn incense, listen to the reggae band culture and get laid while inside the hairy vagina pod?

Few nights ago as soon as I turn on the t.v. I land right at the scene in Natural Born Killers where the cyclist gets bucked by that annoying chick, I need to know what the hell he was riding, help me someone.

BikeSnobNYC said...

JClev19,

You just blew my mind.

--RTMS

Stupid Name said...

Wow, a Zardoz reference, who would have thunk.

From my daily quote generator:
"Sometimes people are layered like that. There's something totally different underneath than what's on the surface. But sometimes, there's a third, even deeper level, and that one is the same as the top surface one. Like with pie."
- Joss Whedon, Zack Whedon, Maurissa Tancharoen, and Jed Whedron

Makes my brain hurt.

bike locks said...

I think the horse in the bike lane is the bike in the street scenario. When there is a open bike lane and then there is a cyclist riding in the next lane over in traffic.

amigosito said...

I had to explain to a Danish friend that their cargo bikes are actually just mexican ice cream carts in disguise.

Anonymous said...

Dear Bike Snob,

You could pedal through life with less spleen, and still keep all your organs, by remembering that "culture" has more meanings than a Paris-Roubaix wheel has spokes, and, like the spokes, more than one can be useful--if they keep their integrity.
For example, "primary culture" is pretty much everything humans do in their daily lives, while "secondary culture" is what humans do to understand, ennoble, or change the first.
I think what rightly ticks you off is when people claim that crap from the first category is in fact art from the second.
I'm not sure what category lots of stuff--like indoor plumbing--fits in. So I really enjoy your attempts to draw the line.

Best.

amigosito said...

And how can you not love big hairy vagina balls?

Ghost of John Belushi said...

Do not taunt Hairy Vagina Ball.

Slappy MacISO said...

So that thing my cat coughs up is a vagina ball?

And when will that woman in the mustard pants start marketing her lovely purple horse manure collecting bag to the general public?

grog said...

If you take a throat culture from a person of the indigenous tribe that worships yogurt, and that person's name were Coulter, then would that create a "Coulter culture culture culture?"

BONG WATR

ervgopwr said...

YGRT CLTR

BikeSnobNYC said...

Grog,

Yes--and if you then took one from Coulter's adversary, you'd have a "Counter-Coulter culture culture culture."

--RTMS

Strayhorn said...

Wow, Wayne Coyne has even more gray hair in his beard than I do. That's pretty sad.

And one word for the folks in Portland: Wahl. Their trimmers mean the difference between "distinguished" and "dirty hippy."

Plus they are still made in the US.

Salty Seattle said...

Dann-

You know you live in an area that is way too obese, when you start hearing euphemisms for 'people who exercise.'

Bob said...

In retrospect, I now realize I could have done that to the woman in the mustard pants instead.

Brilliant I tell you!

ibn bin necker said...

them babes crawling out of the pussy ball didnt look like no virginians

libertyonbikes! said...

"during the Middle Ages, China flourished culturally while Europe was busy inventing new ways to kill people for saying the Earth revolved around the Sun"

ahhhh, the pride of New York.
Stubborn ignorance sure beats addmitting your shit does stink.

great post,
and now hairy vaginas will always remind me of Wayne,
and vice versa

Bad Lawyer said...

...whew, just back from Bad Lawyering.

Don't you find it a little ironic that the "cultural" revolution was a great excuse for reactionary Chinese to murder, starve, and oppress millions of other Chinese?

Anonymous said...

fingerbang fingerbang fingergangbang
burritos schmurritos
hang on to your bitterness,Snob

Bad Lawyer said...

One of my favorite bands, the Super Furry Animals were interviewed the other day, see http://www.sport.co.uk/features/Football/738/Sportcouk_meetsSuper_Furry_Animals.aspx --about Cardiff soccer and they happened to mention that they pay a 100 pounds a month to store inflatables that they used as part of a "record" release a few years ago. Makes me wonder what the Hairy Vagina Ball logistics are going to cost the Flaming Lips?

Bad Lawyer said...

Speaking of culture, I saw the Del McCoury Band the other night. No props. Just awesomeness.

Salty Seattle said...

BL-

The really good ones are always free.

..Though, maybe not as hairy..

kale said...

Grog/Snob,

And if that adversary then designed an instrument made to count and size these cultures, it would be a "Counter-Coulter culture culture culture Coulter counter"

Bad Lawyer said...

The Copenhagen bike trends don't work for me at all, for the same reason tandems and all that have never made much of an impression on me--I don't do group rides. I mean seriously, if I have to wait around for someone else or take someone on a bike when I go out for a ride, why bother. When I did belong to a "club" they wanted to ride at the most ridiculous times and to the most obnoxious places.

And isn't there a word for some of what the Copenhagen bikes do to you--change you into a coolie. Forget it.

Craig Giffen said...

I am in the video in a couple spots during the bike riding scenes. Not that you care to know, but Wayne kept calling the ball a "Fur-Vaj".

@strayhorn: There were actually less hippies there than I was expecting...but yes, I do have a Wahl and it is awesome.

Regardless, the whole two day shoot was a lot of fun.

Bad Lawyer said...

Grog/Snob/Kale--

And I'd hate to suggest what would happen if you tried to measure the punk-radioactivity of all this Coulter...counter...culture...clash

Anonymous said...

speaking about Mongolian cross,
those guys really got spanked in Niel yesterday

maybe they need a belgian doc (or chef...cooking up some pot belge)

Stupid Name said...

Bad Lawyer is in actuality the lone wolf.

Bad Lawyer said...

In the Flaming Lips video notice that while they have no clothes on they have "activity" bracelets. Which means we are so "uninhibited," but "authorized personnel only."

Isolation Helmet said...

Hey Snob, you know the new Flaming Lips CD? Did you know that like I thinks its really good? It like 18 tracks long? And like almost as epic as this burrito.......

Stupid Name said...

You know they had to sign a waiver, that they have no rights to the video revenues, and no rights to any remaining self worth.

Anonymous said...

FNGR BANG

puddle jumper said...

Hey BS, The song you plan to write about Californian burritos may be redundant. "I heard the burritos out in California can fly..." is the first line of David Allan Coe's "Willie, Waylon and Me." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzcLcUjIPcQ

Anonymous said...

Grog/Snob,

And if that adversary then designed an instrument made to count and size these cultures, it would be a "

An if there was a counter in the lab where you put this instrument, it would be a "Counter-Coulter culture culture culture Coulter counter counter"

Anonymous said...

Snob,
When the naked people dismounted their rides in the video, do you think they secured them to a David Byrne designed bike rack?

Salty Seattle said...

counter, counter...

"I said, 'Stop! this really hurts!'"

Mike said...

Proof that Contador will bang for right price:

http://i273.photobucket.com/albums/jj214/mpkilloran/Picture1.png

Anonymous said...

Now, what really freaks me out is that there's a big uncovered resevoir up in that park where that video shoot was.

I hope that they didn't get any "naked culture" in the water.

leroy said...

Lest we forget: if the instrument of which kale speaks were sewn into a pair of skinny jeans, that would be Counter-Coulter culture culture culture Coulter counter couture.

ant1 said...

Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffallo buffalo Buffalo, plus or minus a couple buffaloes.

Andreas said...

You're a great bike culture reporter. Keep it up!

aprilstarchild said...

Bad Lawyer: The orange wristbands were proof that we'd signed a consent form and were over 18.

I didn't get into the video (dang) but I had a lot of fun!

Anonymous said...

Aprilstarchild, since you didn't make it into the video, can you send us some naked pictures privately?

Anonymous said...

Wasn't Snob just in Portland where this was filmed? Was that him in the background sniffing bicycle seats while everybody else was fussing around with the hairy vagina ball?

Anonymous said...

And if noted conservative commentator Ann Coulter would get her panties all in a wad over the whole thing, we would have...

rural 14 said...

ant 2nd?

rural 14 said...

dang, that hoss culture is slippery

Salty Seattle said...

Coincidentally, I just got an email mentioning, Travels with Willie.

I know it's not the same, but gawd I'm hormonal..

Salty Seattle said...

climbing..

Salty Seattle said...

climbing..

Salty Seattle said...

Almost..

Salty Seattle said...

100th!

Phew! My head hurts now..

Test Tickle said...

balls.

Eric said...

Since you're pointing out videos, why not mention 30 Second to Mars (Jared Leto's band) 8-minute video featuring LA's very own Midnight Ridazz?

Anonymous said...

Salty Seattle, the commisaires say that you failed to report to manditory doping control, and you are being relegated, and perhaps suspended. Time to lawyer up!

Anonymous said...

Dear Snob and Band, you are behind the curve. The Finnish have been getting in, out and around via Hairy Vaginas for years.

NSFW

Cuntinuity Error said...

Hairy Vagina Ball did not have Flaming Lips.

I am disappointed.

And thank you, Ghost of John Belushi. Not at all disappointed with you.

Alex said...

i've agreed with everything you've ever said, except today, the flaming lips rule!

tortuga said...

So how do you transport your cone of smugness from Brooklyn to Manhatten?? With your cargo bike!

yellowishsandals said...

dear bsnyc,

let me just say, i appreciate your propensity for criticism. your witty form of contraband has even blown a few eye opening shots off my own bow. something about sleeves and health care. and while i think you provide a service that most of us egoists would rarely undertake on our own, i must say, the lips do not deserve such a shallow portrayal. study them a bit, use your honestly honed ability to identify characteristics of our modern "culture," and i think you may find yourself in-cahoots with those vagina ball lunatics. they have gotten a lot of people off their... well, smugness.

i consider myself a skeptic, but i'm an optimist at soul. and i feel that you are too.

take care, and no offense to the critiqued,

yoshimi

uma said...

You left out how Portlanders also sit around waiting for the clarion call for public nudity. I remember the viral nature of the Lips' invitation to "ride nude".

Hmm. I was going somewhere with this comment, but my ADD just kicked in as I noticed I used the words viral, lips, ride and nude all in one sentence.

Having read one of your best posts ever, I feel no need to watch the actual final video even though I'm sure I know an alarming number of people in it. Thanks, Bike Snob!

flynn said...

is that chick barebacking? is that more comparable to riding without a top tube pad or without brakes?

Matt said...

It's refreshing to see that someone else feels that "culture" is a complete joke. Keep up the good work, dude.

Philip Williamson said...

Watch the Flaming Lips' Nekkid Bike Video, and listen to Bob Wills sing Take Me Back To Tulsa at the same time.

Waffles & Steel said...

Horses, FL videos...all disturbing.

Paul Beckett said...

Wayne Coyne sounds a bit like Wank On (I'm English - although it would sounds better in a Northern Irish accent...)

Anonymous said...

I looked at my Kiwi fruit in a different way today. Maybe I'll eat less in the future, or maybe more. Enlightened, for sure.

Suzee said...

Extensively researching curated smugness, thus late to the gig...

All you cultures worship my yoghurt.

Ain't no dairy herds in no rainforests no way...maybe there's a live culture transport initiative in operation.

Ant goes latin - a dead cultural give-away.

Flaming Lips easily cured by vaginal surgery...or just switch off.

CULT CARG

ant1 said...

suzee, regarding surgery:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8352711.stm

My Ears Hurt said...

The thing that bothers me the most about that video is the wretched sound quality. Is that some kind of intentional attempt at coolness, a terrible accident in somewhere in the intertubes, or just incompetence? Whatever the reason, it's pitiful. Just because Jimi could pull it off, that doesn't mean everyone should try it.

Anonymous said...

Are any other smug Oregonians a little disappointed that there aren't any naked minorities in the video? What does this say about the state of exclusivity within the progressive movements? Does Wayne Coyne unaware of his distrust of 'the other' - or is this represented by the clear ball he walks around in?

Suzee said...

Ant1(Man!)

The 'DV' culture is endemic, perhaps even pan-endemic. And, as such, this gal is troubled by the backstory of the movement.

The No.1 reason for undergoing labia streamlining is given as "pain caused whilst cycling". Considering genital curation I'm amazed that more men of the peloton don't follow Harmstrong's surgical lead to ease those saddle miles.

campbell fdy said...

i cant seem to get the phrase 'important freak bike related business' out of my head

Suzee said...

also,
Flaming Lips
Blazing Saddles

gotta be a link.

ant1 said...

"genital curation"
awesome

eeeeeeeeee said...

AYH(SMB) video -

AMAZ ING!

Rainbojangles said...

You have finally proven with this unfunny and petty little diatribe what a self=serving, bitter little creature you are. Jealousy is written all over your post. People like you spend their lives wishing you had the nads to get naked and appear in a rock video. -5 stars. Did I mention you suck? Do you need help with that albatross around your pencil-neck, or with finding your feet and tying your shoes? Sorry, they're probably velcro.

CrankyCyclist said...

Horses in Brooklyn? Another stereotype shattered!

Anonymous said...

Ill start paying attention when those naked girls start riding laid back recumbent bikes.

PCLA said...

The proper couture for cargo culture is cargo pants and hoodies with big pouch pockets for maximum portage.

Is nude cycling culture counter couture?

BTW I agree that most "culture" is BS but DO NOT mess with SoCal Burrito Culture, bro!

Knuckler said...

That video explains why no self respecting bicycle wrench would ever rest his head on a saddle during a repair...

Randoboy said...

I think the naked cyclists shoving Coyne are wearing pink RoadID bracelets. A statement on our need for security (i.e., the womb and tacky bracelets) over-riding our Libertarian freedom?

Claude's Butler said...

Thanks for the line, Ghost of John Belushi.

tariely said...

Оса 800 электрошокер в Москве.
Оса 800 электрошокер в Москве.

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Oh yeah...just when I forgot why I hate smug, holier than thou New Yorkers, I find your post (never mind that it's almost 2 years old). Let me guess, you live in Brooklyn? Williamsburg even? Big surprise there. Go drink some PBR and complain some more, fuckhead. The rest of us are going to have fun with our horses, vagina balls, and yes, cargo bikes...

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