Tuesday, August 18, 2009

To Market, To Market: Young Romance and Old World Crafstmanship

Since its YouTube debut last week, the MC SpandX video "Performance" has "blown up" quite spectacularly, garnering well over 250 million views to date and becoming quite possibly the most popular cycling-themed YouTube video since Danny MacAskill ass-killed it all over Edinburgh and racked up something like seven billionteen views and counting. As such, last week I put forth the theory that "Performance" is actually what in marketing parlance is known as a "spiral advertising campaign" hatched by none other than Performance Bicycle. While I was (mostly) joking, the truth is that it can be increasingly difficult to simply watch and enjoy content these days without the creepy feeling that someone is also trying to sell you something. This is why I was relieved to learn from none other than fixed-gear freestyle impresario Prolly about a new short film that features romance and bicycles. Moreover, it is set against the backdrop of Los Angeles, and the action takes place during a "Midnight Ridazz" ride. Here is its charmingly disheveled protagonist arriving at the roll-out:


Despite his obvious charm, dishevelment, and utter lack of pretense, when he asks the other riders if he can join he is simply told by the guy in the work shirt, "No, man:"


The moment is incredibly sad and poignant--it's like watching a puppy getting flushed down a toilet. However, there is hope in the form of the coy glances which are exchanged between the young man and the seductive woman with the lip ring and the "epic" headphones. Perhaps emboldened by this, the young man joins the ride anyway:


His joyous smile all but erases the heartache we felt in the opening scene--until disaster strikes and his old crappy 10 speed "catches" a flat:



At this point, if you're like me you dropped to your knees, raised your arms imploringly heavenward, and cried, "Can't this poor guy get a break?!?" Well, I'm pleased to report that he does, when the headphoned seductress stops and helps him repair the flat. (As we saw in the "Bust" story some time ago, flat repair means only one thing: "It's on!") Afterwards, they take a leisurely stroll and begin to connect:


However, just as the birch bark kindling of young love seems to be smoldering, the mean guy in the work shirt (who represents society and peer pressure--duh!) rolls up and demands the seductress rejoin him:

Once again, conflict takes the helm of the narrative. The young man implores the woman to stay with him. She declines, saying "Those are my people," to which he replies, "It's lame to be friends out of obligation." If I wasn't fully behind the protagonist by this point (and I was) this line alone is more than sufficient to ally myself with him eternally, for his conviction and integrity are clearly as strong as his hair is disheveled. Nonetheless, she says "You don't know me" (or "You don't own me," it's difficult to tell for sure because of the lip ring) and leaves him anyway. In yet another stroke of symbolic brilliance, the pathos is personified in pie plate form:


So the puppy has been flushed down the toilet, rescued with a plunger, thrown back in the toilet, and flushed down again. Or has it?

Even though we can all guess what happens at this point, it's no less moving. She realizes her mistake and they find each-other again:


Then, she gives him head...


...phones.

The message is clear: Be true to yourself. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't join, don't let anybody make you join if you don't want to, and don't let anybody tell you what you can and can't "rub." Have the strength of the Lone Wolf, brush your hair carefully so it looks like it hasn't been brushed, and most importantly, let the haters suck your balls. Indeed, John Hughes would be proud, and any ball-sucking our protagonist receives is certainly well-deserved.

Also, this isn't "virile" or a "spiral advertising campaign." It's all above board, since it says "Vanity Fair & Banana Republic Present" right at the top of the page:

Incidentally, Banana Republic are also the geniuses behind what may be the most revolutionary garment in fashion. I'm referring of course to the "White Shirt:"

Never before has any designer or clothing company dared to conceive of a shirt that's simply white. If you're a garmento it's the sort of thing you look at, thump your forehead with your palm, and say, "I can't believe I didn't think of this." They're already catching on, too. Here's a photo I took yesterday evening of a person wearing the White Shirt who has also just run a red light while talking on his cellphone:

Understandably, he looks nonplussed.

Speaking of nonplussed, I received an email recently from a nonplussed reader informing me that his Brooks saddle has failed:


Of course, "failure" is relative, for some people might consider this totally rideable:


So mysterious is this failure that the LBS is shipping the saddle back to England to be inspected. (Not to Brooks, mind you, just to England, where hopefully a passer-by might find the time to examine it while sipping some tea.) In the meantime though, I've undertaken my own inspection. My first theory was that the saddle broke due to poor wheel choice. As you can see from the first photo, the rider is "palping" a Jobst Brandt-approved box section rim with an ample spoke count. Had he been using an R-Sys, any trauma would have caused the wheel to fail first, thus sparing the saddle. However, it's possible the cause was more complex, so I watched this video about how Brooks saddles are made:



Just as I suspected, Brooks is a cold and faceless mega-corporation:


And their saddles are constructed using child labor:


Not only that, but they don't use proper warning labels:


This sort of polite, wishy-washy prose is grossly insufficient for the typical American consumer. Brooks really needs to fall in line with the rest of the bicycle industry and put lots of yellow exclamation points all over the place. Furthermore, "considerable disapointment" doesn't mean anything to us here. You need to say "death." A truly effective warning would say something like:

Warning! Cycling is an inherently dangerous activity and can cause serious injury or death. Be sure to have your saddle installed by a professional, as improper mounting can cause serious injury or death. Brooks saddles are not compatible with certain seatposts. Be sure to consult your seatpost manufacturer, as using a Brooks saddle with an incompatible seatpost can cause serious injury or death. Brooks shall not be responsible for any failure caused by incorrect mounting or by use with an incompatible seatpost. All Brooks saddles carry a rider weight limit, which is one pound less than however much you weigh. Cycling while too heavy can cause serious injury or death. Please enjoy your Brooks saddle, and ride responsibly.

Still, if your saddle does fail I'd think twice before attempting to sue Brooks. Their "negotiating" methods are as old-fashioned as their manufacturing techniques, and they're liable to send one of their "enforcers" over to pay you a visit:

This is notorious gangster Eric "The Chamferer" Murray, a man so violent that he makes those cockney Guy Ritchie thugs look like Julie Andrews in "Mary Poppins." Here he is at work:


If a chamfering knife can do this to a piece of leather, just imagine what it can do to human flesh:

If you're unfortunate enough to have a run-in with "The Chamferer," I guarantee you will reach an out-of-court settlement, and it won't be in your favor.

Anyway, even though watching this video was a lot like watching "There Will Be Blood" in terms of sheer ruthlessness, moral bankruptcy, and corporate greed, I think I did manage to spot my reader's faulty saddle rail being spit out of one of their crude Victorian contraptions:

Hopefully the employee responsible will be duly flogged, and will be forced to forego his or her nightly gruel.

In the meantime, Brooks saddles remain as popular as ever. Also popular are designer aluminum u-locks, as well as the effective yet suggestive "autofellatio" locking style:


But what good is a bike that makes you look like a messenger if you can't ride like one? Fortunately, according to this Daily News article forwarded to me by a reader, you can now pay someone to help you do just that:

I was pleased to see that a Daily News reporter was using a bicycle to get around, especially since cycling seems like a highly effective way for a journalist to stay in touch with the city. However, while I was happy that she rode a bike, I was disappointed that she "peddled" it:

Maybe she rides one of these things and also sells hot dogs while she's on the beat.

At any rate, Weichselbaum apparently pays someone to teach her how to "street ride:"

John Campo is well known to New York City cyclists as the Keeper of the Kissena Velodrome and de facto local track racing spokesman, and while I knew he coached racers I had no idea he also taught "street riding." I'd be quite interested to have a look at the syllabus. I wonder if it starts with "Beginner Light-Running Techniques" and progresses all the way to "Advanced Brakelessness." Perhaps most intriguing is the fact that he also teaches pupils how to "scream at drivers and pedestrians not giving us the right of way." I'd love to see Campo riding around the city with a group of students showing them how to yell, "Out of the way, cocksuckers!"

Frankly, I have mixed feelings about this. While I do believe it is occasionally necessary to raise your voice at people while riding in the city, I also think that if you're the sort of person who needs to pay someone to teach you how to do it you might be better off just being quiet. What happens if you yell at the wrong person, like "The Chamferer?" He's liable to skin you alive.

157 comments:

Anonymous said...

BKF

Anonymous said...

UPTHERE

Anonymous said...

SWEEP?

ant1 said...

ant1st!

landis in 06 said...

lonewolf

lastboyscout said...

podium

Anonymous said...

AHHHHHH!

rezado said...

SAND WICH

Anonymous said...

top 10

Cranky Mule said...

Yeah Baby!!

Mark said...

In the Top 20!

Anonymous said...

finished. passed this race.

mikeweb said...

Kiss my saddle!

Dan said...

outta my way, cocksuckers!

Astroluc said...

15ish

thegock said...

PACK FODR

Fenriz of the North said...

Taint!

Nick said...

top 20!

hillbilly said...

way to go ant1! HIlarious as always. I'm no "disgruntled" or anything, maybe he'll show up and help me out, but I think you went a little hyphen-crazy snob. I very easily could be wrong, but I think about half of em could have gone hyphen-free, such as each other and passerby. But again, I could be wrong, just started to give me a headache.

Astroluc said...

the whole aluminum u-lock thing baffles me... is not aluminum a relatively easy metal to cut through?

And what of Brooks saddles? the idea of putting a saddle that costs as much or more than the crappy 10-speed fixie conversions they are on seems arrogant.

I am also a bit nonplussed about this whole to do about marketing; viral or otherwise.

Oh yeah, and regarding yesterdays post; for a non comic fan, you used the word cadre in a way that would make Chris Cleremont proud!

BikeSnobNYC said...

Hillbilly,

It's "virile" marketing. The Punctuation People are now paying me for hyphen product-placement.

--RTMS

Anonymous said...

i peddle my ass off for work every morning, what's the big deal?

grog said...

What's even worse, is when that puppy don't go down, and you get water all over the place!

kale said...

Move it, butt-horn!

I dunno does yelling, bells, and whistles work as well as honking does on peds with headphones drilled into their ears? Does shouting stop a cabbie from crossing 3 lanes to pick up a fare in the bike lane?

I dunno, some people just need to pay to get a riding buddy I suppose, which is sad.

James said...

That Daily News story is great, but the real meat has to be this comment:

macgeek Aug 18, 2009 6:21:58 AM
I am a segway rider (I'm in today's paper) (http://bit.ly/wClTO) and I am riding with other bikers, every single day, and the ME ME ME attitude is ABUNDANT there is a feeling of "we own the road, and you are in our way" with MOST bikers (there are MANY DECENT bikers, who obey the law, and more use COMMON SENSE!) but most blow thru lights, blow between people, and the worst of the worst is going over the Brooklyn Bridge, were they have NO CONCEPTION, that the people crossing the bridge are TOURISTS, who don't understand the bike lane is for bikes only. And a smile and a wave, gets the same results as a curse, and scaring the hell out of them! Bikers do not stop for anything, and I think they need to learn that we share the road with everyone (and that includes dorky geeky guys (and girls) who use segways!) ;) Jonathan Gleich


I had no idea there was a Segway rights movement.

hillbilly said...

good enough for me, thanks.

driver that hit Dooda not being charged. Interesting (and by interesting I mean idiotic) decision.

Paul Bowen said...

I palp a Brooks, it's great - looks good, feels good. Never got the "you need to 'break them in'" malarkey about them - this is my second and both the ones I've had were just fine from the start. Having a big arse probably helps.

Disgruntl Ed. said...

I didn't see a single hyphen that bothered me. I thought today's post was chamfererrific.

hillbilly said...

alright, I always defer to Disgruntl Ed, I must suffer from hyper-hyphen-sensitivity disorder.

Jim said...

I had no idea there was a Segway rights movement.

They are fighting the de-Segregationists.

Kevin said...

Hey! That's Ferris Bueler's chick! What a slut.

Anonymous said...

dude,

"Flushing puppies down the toilet".
please say it isn't so.

There are just some people that where white shirts, "champfer", and put on their wheels with the arrow going the wrong way.

If a reporter needs lessons on how to ride a bicycle, to get street cred. Perhaps that is the reason that newspapers have become irrelevant.

Oh by the way, hippsters are not hippies, and hipsters have no interest in car shows.

kale said...

Not to ride John Campo's jersey pockets or anything, but I'll be holding an "urban skillz" clinic twice a week starting in November. Some of the topics to be covered will include:

"Jeans, or Jeans?"
"How to lock your Mongoose Status to a streetlight in under 4 seconds."
"Stackin' It: 10 pies"
"Rackin' It: 6 Pad Thais"
"Salmoning: How to hone your skills"

The first session is free and will start at the NY Hall of Science parking lot.

mikeweb said...

I think for the purpose of Ms. Simone's article, peddle is actually the correct word.

Massive Epicosity said...

Exclaims John Campo, "All you obstructionists, suck my balls!!!"

Remember, go epic or go home. . . .

Anonymous said...

OH NO,

What seat posts are not compatible with my brooks.

I fear impending doom, and terrible seat post related accidents.

Isolation Helmet said...

I palp a Brooks on my fixie. I had one break (or is it brake?-- The writing in this comment section confuses me) in the same place right behind the seatpost mount. It took six years but I was still pissed.

Is there a coach out there who rubs a class for pedaling in the suburbs? or the country? Very different than the city so I am sure they would have many students anxious to learn some new technique.

For the burbs- learn how to avoid a wrong turn down a cul-de-sac or for the country- how to avoid deer running out in front of you from the woods. Useful stuff.

Anonymous said...

The Persons Majestic Appollo is cheaper than brooks.



HIGH TEAS

Anonymous said...

I just LOVE auto-fellatio, locking style.

jolene said...

thats my neiece from paserdener in that videro shes a tramp

the fact is that her boy germaine was trying to get her from givign that nice boy her herpes she done got at a rave when she was 14 hes not trying to be an asshole he jus dont want that little boy to get the herp is all

Anonymous said...

CCSI orD!

feelers said...

Douglas Adams 1st

Anonymous said...

I used to have a Brooks. Those big copper rivets sure did feel good after sitting in the sun for awhile.

Also enough of this "3feet please" cycling jerseys. I like the "out of my way cocksuckers" attitude better.

Anonymous said...

uh, first?

Test Tickle said...

ANOD IZED

BLUE BALLS

balls.

displacedcalifornian said...

bullseye with the gringo warning label. hilarious.

Test Tickle said...

woops, too many letters. i need to get more fingers ... actually, fuck it, the "s" goes on the the thumb knuckle.

ringcycles said...

John Campo has nothing on the Richard Groenendaal school of cycling etiquette. Heckle me?, punch to the face. block my path, shove you to the fence. None of this namby pamby insult hurling, just ride.

Test Tickle said...

... or would that be the "b" on the knuckle? damn, life is complicated.

balls.

Dingle said...

BSNYC, did you notice the exotic English-style bike salmon at 0:56 on the Brooks video? THAT lesson would be saved for a doctoral clinic: "Salmoning for overseas street cycling" Hilarious post.

kale said...

OUTA MYWY
COCK SUKR

Dingle said...

PS - click my name to see all the new (and very stright forward) Brooks disclaimer.

Anonymous said...

And another thing. How is the Brooks warning label passive-aggressive? My understanding is that it means explicit agreement combined with actual obstructionist behaviour - silence, stubbornness, malicious compliance etc. The Brooks label is brusque, arch, sarcastic, old time-y, but passive-aggressive I'm not getting.

Seanywonton said...

Ow. That short film hurt more to watch than a u-lock beating.

I did appreciate the 10 second flat-fix though. Something to aspire to.

Anonymous said...

SKELETON WITCH

Seanywonton said...

AUTO FEL8

chiggins said...

This post was the feel-good hit of the year! Joy, tears, joy again (with tears... of joy). I'm going to read it again... with a date! Two thumbs up.

Anonymous said...

CHMF ERER

Anonymous said...

SADL SORE

Paul Bowen said...

The red building at 0:36 in the Brooks film is The Duke of York pub on Clerkenwell Road, London, where hundreds of bike messengers gather every Friday to drink a large %age of the wages they've just picked up. It's opposite the junction with Leather Lane as well, so altogether an appropriate spot for this film!

rightsaid kev said...

That bike looks like it's trying to flagellate itself. I think I see a cat of nine tails wrapped in the front wheel. Maybe it's punishing itself for being so ridiculous?

AUTO DE-FE

mikeweb said...

I hear Eric "The Chamferer" also moonlights as a mohel.

Using the same tools, of course.

Anonymous said...

I'm hungry

Vanonymous said...

WHYT SHURT
SEAT DETH

sully said...

The douchebag always gets the girl.Brooks saddles are the paris hilton of saddles. What good is city riding if you dont yell some expletives at an idiot motorist.Thats half the adrenaline rush.Its not a commute unless a u- lock penetrates a window.

Anonymous said...

Aluminum u-lock?

Something has gone terribly wrong.

Not so good for preventing theft.

It will however not make your arm sore, next time you beat an old oriental man repeatedly about the head.

I need to go buy some more useless crap.

Anonymous said...

how many newton meters was the tension screw set at on that brooks?

Anonymous said...

What is with the stupid headphones, I needed to watch it twice, to not figure out their significance.

What gives.

Brad said...

Keep that chamferer away from my weird style diktats!

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 3:28pm,

"It's the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girls dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day."

--RTMS

a former Canadian Prime Minister said...

He got in my way, so I took him out.

Anonymous said...

http://stuffhipstershate.tumblr.com/

nycifyouare said...

OMG, I HATE POSTS WITH SPOILERS.

Mad Jack McMad said...

There Will Be Brooks:

http://tubedubber.com/#z9w-y24Waz4:FxJ3jfT3ypc:0:100:0:0:true

Anonymous said...

Thank you for speaking out against the travesty that is the gross misuse of the word "peddle", when pedal is what is meant. Finally a voice of reason in the wilderness. I am definately satisfied by this column.

Brian said...

The Brooks disclaimer leaves me nonplussed. What isn't passive-aggressive about cycling today?

Seanywonton said...

Ha! All this gramatical high-horsing and you spelled Defin8ly wrong, you asshat!

Anonymous said...

PEDD LING

s said...

Auto-fellatio? So good.
But I guess that's how you could best describe the whole "fixed gear turned 700c bmx" thing.
Time to peddle my way home.

Anonymous said...

Seanywonton - from your picture, it appears that I am not the one wearing the asshat...

Jim said...

What's with all the hatin' on peddle-philes? I don't get it.

Brian said...

Hey Bike Snob,
Did you take that photo of the Daily News reporter? She has the usual expression common to your subjects. She actually looks kind of...well....you know.

Anonymous said...

that vids for kids. what kind of emo drugs are these berts droppin?

Anonymous said...

the genius isn't coming up with the moniker rtms. the genius is sticking with it for so long.

it makes me laugh a little louder every time i see it. by 2015 i'll be rolling on the floor.

Seanywonton said...

Anonymous 4:24, unfortunately, that mongoloidal dome is not my own. It's some kind of helmet-hat thingy worn by what looks like a jauniced-toothed Belgian. I might have a picture of me wearing an actual asshat on this hard drive somewhere though!

Seanywonton said...

err..excuse me, I meant jaundice-toothed

Anonymous said...

you also meant "grammatical"

Anonymous said...

it aint a monkier its a handle

bikesgonewild said...

...jutht came from the dentith (for real) tho me, tha chick w/ tha lip ring & daffy duck all talk tha thame...

...juth thayin'...

Suzee said...

anonymous 3.28
The headphones represent the freedom of personal choices that exist in the external world. By sharing them the girl is seeking a re-affirmation of her selected of cultural preferences - as defined within, and by, the category of music. The music is almost certainly early 'Fountains of Wayne' which she could not reasonably expect 'her people' to admire. However in this context the boy also represents hope. Which is why BSNYC got so into his case... well that's what Billy-Jo said anyway.

EZEE RYDR

Anonymous said...

I rekon it's funded by the church. looks like the clothes they wear. Clean and ironed.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Suzee,

I just re-watched their little chat (through tears of course) and at one point she indicates the headphones and says, "I'd rather hang out with Elliott Smith most of the time, you know." I had missed most of the dialogue the first time due to the mumbling.

Every time I watch this thing it gets more soulful.

--RTMS

Anonymous said...

smells like charity work. They probably go off and work for an NGO.

sufferist said...

BSNYC-

Does that mean that she wishes she were dead?

Whoa! the movie takes an even darker and mysterious turn...so many layers....

Anonymous said...

has obama gone and had a chat with the "new hollywood", like bush did when he got in?

leroy said...

Well double golly gosh darn, I might just need to sign up for the Campo cycle cussing course.

This weekend, on a longish ride with a large-ish group in northern-ish New Jersey, an SUV driver jauntily admonished us to "stay to the right, shit heads."

Imagine my embarrassment when I couldn't respond with a colorful retort.

Instead, I wondered how could he tell? I mean, we were all wearing helmets.

Goodness me, I might just need a cycling coach.

Bristol Traffic said...

1. I have had the same Brooks B17 since 1995, been over the alps twice on it. It used to be two wide for my butt, but now I think it keeps my buttock width under control. Get too heavy, it hurts on long-rides, I have to lose weight.

But, now that Brooksy's are cool, I am worried it may get "blagged". Therefore I am looking to get some fat-arse gel cover for it, maybe with some bandage, pipe insulation and duct tape, something to radiate that this is not a saddle youw want to steal, that this is a saddle belonging to something with genital warts that are leaking some kind of fluid. This could be the new kind of cool status saddle.

Regarding the broken one, bet it was the Ti model, swift. Ti rails fail.

Anonymous said...

100% of all the people in that film wil die. 1 in 4 will get cancer.

Anonymous said...

it makes no difference.

Anonymous said...

The Punctuation People must be working overtime because the first "it's" should be an "its".

'Since its YouTube debut...' not 'Since it is YouTube debut'

Anonymous said...

'Since it's YouTube debut last week,' - its, not it's

'Furthermore, "considerable dissapointment" doesn't mean anything to us here' - disappointment, not dissapointment

mr.complaint said...

I will be happy to stay out of Smelling, England.

Shiver.

Anonymous said...

Yep,

Brooks saddles always say to me,

"that this is a saddle belonging to something with genital warts that are leaking some kind of fluid."


ARRRRG.

Please remove that image from my mind.

Anonymous said...

Hey Tony (Antonio) Stop taking pictures of your brother from Snobbie and sending them to us. You antagonist you !

Anonymous said...

my brooks is outfitted with/got springs, and it creaks so loudly that any and all part ways long before I happen upon them.

It is a Romeo and Juliet story, re-reupdated. In the end , they all kill themselves by riding brakeless at night.

Anonymous said...

POST -MOD

Anonymous said...

isn't labor day coming up?

Anonymous said...

dude,

Zeppelin reference, you are going to Eurobike, aren't you.

ablgus said...

God!!! Now I really get it. After seeing Danny MacAskill all of the fixster tricksters look so lame. Do something poorly with the wrong tools - get shitty results and be excused by inappropriate bike, etc. etc. What crap.

Watching Danny was a pleasure. All the fixsters should do a 12 step - watch that video 12 times a day for 12 months.

Anonymous said...

Those Brooks saddles are repairable with a hammer.

Anonymous said...

if you're going to eurobike, make sure you sweat through a "media luncheon" that includes at least one powerpoint presentation.

Anonymous said...

Looks like your fan base includes a number of copy editors.

Salty Seattle said...

Ahh, yes...

Love in a Brooks saddleway.

Touching.

Hey, Get that thing away from me!

BISOUBISOU said...

I love my Brookses. The springs can be oiled to make the creaking go away.

FYI:

Selle Royal SpA
Via Vittorio Emanuele 119
36050 Pozzoleone (Vicenza)
Tel +39 0444 461100
Fax +39 0444 462025

BROOKS BRANCH
(Sales & Marketing)
Via V. Emanuele 119
36050 Pozzoleone, VI, Italy
T +39 0444 461100
F +39 0444 462025
E sales@brooksengland.com

http://www.brooksengland.com/en/Contacts_GettingInTouch.aspx
http://www.selleroyal.com/contactus/index.aspx

Wade said...

Bob (Robert?) Mackey!

ken e. said...

TANG ENTL
FILM NOIR
OILS PRNG

Red neckerson said...

I'll save you the time of having to go to insult school of someone dicks you I done found that a simple fuck you asshole works reel good

Leather Freak said...

CHAM FERD

Leather Freak said...

SEAT SNFR

Leather Freak said...

AHHH CHOO

leroy said...

Red --

Pithy.

bricoleur said...

in portland, one raises one's arms heavenward and cries "can't this fixie guy get a brake?"

Johnny Sprocket said...

Hey... they cut the scene where she says, "Of all the alleycats in all the world, he has to ride into mine".

And.. the last time I had a flat late at night, the only person who offered help was an old guy who then played grabass as I was bent over pumping the damn tyre up !

Anonymous said...

Oh the humanity...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b36Yi-Pb1wM

Crispy said...

Ant1 in the breakaway again! Son you must lead a charmed/lazy life. ;)

Anonymous said...

Mario Cipollini

Anonymous said...

whats the point in moving to the city just to find a bit of humanity? just get on a train.

Sir Jocelyn Sedgepig said...

I'll keep a look out for that Brooks saddle as I stride across my grouse moors running my tongue around my bad dental work.

Anonymous said...

you do just that sedgepig. watch out for cowpats.

Paul Bowen said...

Any of the people slagging Brooks saddles actually ridden one? I can't claim to have crossed the Alps on one but I have done many 100+ rides on mine without any problems at all, so I'm not sure what the issue is tbh.

All you haters sniff my Brooks.

Anonymous said...

and richard e grant

Anonymous said...

brooks make fine saddles. the saddles are well made spares are available, and they can easily last more than your lifetime. I have a titanium railed one maturing in ditchwater somewhere about 60miles away, awaiting my return.

Anonymous said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ul78dc63nKc&feature=player_embedded

gilles berthoud is riding right up brookses arse though.

Anonymous said...

Brooks are for swab jockeys

Anonymous said...

Pro Cycling Techniques: on yelling

Don't yell at passers-by on the street. Objects are least suited to complex communication when traveling at different speeds. Words are a bridge too far. Instead, keep it simple. Smile and wave. Smile, and wave - like you're the star of High School Musical. This is a single simple message that suits every circumstance.

If your co-communicator is a friend trying to say hello (by, say, yelling something at you as they pass going double your speed), your message of tooth infested greeting will just make their day. This is desirable.

If your co-communicator is less than desirable, your insufferable glee will drive them insane, without sacrificing a plausible deniability. This is desirable. If they persist with their communications, emphasize your smiling and waving with an "oh yeah, I know. Totally. I was just thinking that. Isn't life just serendipity gone wild?" expression.

Should your intrepid co-communicator simple be confused, or otherwise off the rail, they'll steer wide, convinced you are suffering from some form of mild but untreatable mental illness. This is desirable.

Smile and wave. Try it now. Doesn't it just feel right?

cycloblogger.info said...

I hope Brooks fixes their machine that makes the loops on the saddles. I have two Swallow's and both of them came with sharp loops, so sharp they cut through my saddlebag leather straps. Maybe Eric "The Chamferer" Murray can do something about it.

Udder said...

The Daily News chick's bike has brakes but no levers or cables. Are these the new Shimano wireless telepathic brakes?

Anonymous said...

out of the way you dumb mutha'fuckers!

stupid fucking bitch!

what are stupid fucking retard!

you dipshit

grog said...

so if i put bags over my saddles, then i would have brooks shields.

Anonymous said...

I think I've seen that "I am riding with other bikers, every single day" Segway guy riding in the bike lane on the bridge. He smiles and waves...to those of us waiting for an opening to pass him. A friendly obstacle.

Noah Michaelsen said...

snobbie,

check out
http://www.titlenine.com

their catalog arrived today. what are they selling .... bikes, casual women's apparel, mobile chiropractic services, or other?

your insight would be appreciated.

Anonymous said...

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanobraakkkkeeessssdie yuppie scum fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckgodamnpieceoshitstopohshitohshitoutthewayyoufuckingretards

Anonymous said...

So wait, in the video the black guy is the bad one and the white guy is the endearing one?

Whoa, that's crazy innovative casting there.

JJ said...

Almost got clipped by a pickup truck mirror on a mtn road here in CA. I said, "Thanks a lot you f***ing a**hole!" He slammed on his brakes in front of me (I ended up in the bed of his pickup) and then tried to pick a fight, until he saw I was twice his size.
Best to keep your mouth shut.

Johnny Sprocket said...

out of the way you dumb mutha'fuckers!

stupid fucking bitch!

what are stupid fucking retard!

you dipshit

Ah yes... just say it with a smile.

hoon said...

golf clap. golf clap.

Anonymous said...

I'll be damned. Looks as if Banana Republic has had second thoughts about that Midnight Ride short. I should have watched it when I had the chance... or am I better off with out the trauma?

tq

Paul Schulwitz said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Woody Itson his own damn self got a kick out of the "taintal mastery" comment...

http://www.vintagebmx.com/community/index.php?showtopic=27035500

Anonymous said...

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