Thursday, August 20, 2009

Green With Envy: Destroy the Enemy, Save the World

Further to yesterday's post I realized I may have been unfair to the Bike Shrink. The truth is that too few people are willing to take on the sorts of difficult questions posed by the cycling novice. Just look at the sorts of "querries" he must address:


These are not simple questions to answer, though in the spirit of both community service and placing myself in the Bike Shrink's Sidis I endeavored to try:

"I'm looking for a bike I'm going to use mainly on weekends. What do I need to know about what's out there?"

Consult the manufacturer to make sure your bike is designed for weekend riding. For example, Segal magnesium road bikes should not be ridden on Saturdays.

"My local bike shop says I can't get a decent bike for less than $400. Is that true?"

No.

"I've never biked in the city before. What kind of bike should I use?"

Yes.

"What are my options for using my bike to carry stuff?"

They are:

1) Carry stuff with your bike
2) Don't carry stuff with your bike

"What can I do to make my mountain bike into a daily commuter?"

Ride it to work.

Thank you. That'll be $29.99 plus tax. (Though if you want to avoid the sales tax I can send your answer to New Jersey.)

Of course, I'm no Bike Shrink, so I get relatively few emails asking for bicycle equipment advice. However, I do receive many emails alerting me to goings-on in the world of cycling, and recently I've received a great many emails containing links to this moving display of artistic cycling:



If you haven't watched it yet I apologize for spoiling the ending, but the routine culminates in the rare and dangerous Double-Crotch Cherrypicker:



Indeed, not since the golden age of freestyle BMX have we seen such taintal mastery:


Unfortunately, even though artistic cycling involves doing tricks on fixed-gears, and even though artistic cyclists are wildly better bike-handlers than their hipster counterparts, the sport remains relatively obscure. This is almost certainly due to the fact that the athletes wear leotards. In fact, even the UCIs new slogan, "Artistic Cycling: Get Leotarded!" has failed to win over the general public. Fixed-gear freestyling on the other hand continues to grow by leaps and bounds (or by wheelies and barspins), despite the fact that it is artistic cycling's awkward, sloppy, remedial cousin. This is due almost entirely to the trendier clothes. Consider this video, which I saw recently on fixed-gear freestyle impresario Prolly's blog:



I didn't see a Single-Crotch Cherrypicker (let alone a Double-Crotch Cherrypicker) though I did see yet another variation on the Elephant Trunk Skid which involves riding into a wall and is known in fixed-gear parlance as "The Clumsy Elephant:"


Some things never go out of style, and despite the fact that fixed-gear riders have been forming the Elephant Trunk since the late 19th century it remains the backbone (or more accurately the proboscis) of the fixed-gear freestyler's repetoire. In a sense, the moment one raises one's calf over one's riser bars for the first time, one crosses a sort of fixed-gear Rubicon. (The fixed-gear Rubicon does not flow like a regular river, however, since it is unable to coast.) After that, one's hat brim flattens out, one's keys migrate to one's waist, and one begins to cultivate an appreciation for overpriced streetwear and white tires. In my nightmares, legions of young people on bicycles assembled as far as I can see simultaneously place their legs over their handlebars in salute, thus pledging their allegiance to a mighty conformist army marching to the Auto-Tuned orders of a single unseen commander.

This is not to say all fixed-gear videos haunt my dreams. It's difficult to find anything frightening in this video, forwarded to me by my "hipster cyst" connection at Knog:

haha!! from FOXCHEN on Vimeo.


If you're wondering who these ladies are, they are legion, and they are "FGGT:"

Not that there's anything wrng with tht.

But regardless of whether you're riding a fixed-gear or a bicycle that can coast, and regardless of whether you're throwing your legs over the bars or keeping your feet on your pedals and your genitals on your saddle, you've probably noticed that people are riding more than ever. And if you've noticed, you can rest assured that The Great Trek Bicycle Making Company has noticed, which is why they've gone commuter crazy. I recently found myself browsing Cyclingnews's coverage of "Trek World" (which I was disappointed to learn is not a new theme park "collabo" with Six Flags featuring animatronic statues of Lance Armstrong, Gary Fisher, and Keith Bontrager) and their new line of commuter bikes isn't just inspired by the North American Handmade Bike Show; rather, it is the North American Handmade Bike Show. Just look at the pictures:

All the familiar styling cues are there: the "retro" paint jobs; the integrated stem/bars; the emphasis on singlespeeds; and a uniquely Portlandesque blend of ostentation and practicality. Really, the only difference is that everything is made by (or at least designed by) Trek. It's as though a big Hollywood studio were making a feature film based on the NAHBS and they simply hired Trek to recreate it for the set. It's especially ironic when you consider that all these bicycles were probably designed in that new fake city called "Thing One" Trek announced back in February.

Not that there's anything wrong with this, mind you. The custom builders are supposed to set the trends, and the bikes do look useful, if a bit precious. Trek have even resurrected the classic Huffy Santa Fe "colourway:"


Looks like they almost nailed it, too:

I suppose there are people who might be bitter about this and accuse Trek of copying some of the independent builders. However, I'd argue that there aren't too many people on Sacha White's wait list who are going to remove themselves from it when the new Districts "drop." Really, the only people who stand to lose are Trek's arch-nemeses Specialized, who have been actively promoting their own line of precious pastel-hued city bikes. However, unlike Trek, they've been taking a more "grassroots" approach by riding around in various cities and scowling at people. Also, instead of, say, coming to New York City and inviting local bloggers to try their bikes, they've chosen to give people bikes in exchange for starting blogs about them:


They even have their own Globe Facebook page, complete with videos featuring artsy-looking people in artsy-looking surroundings:


To me, there's something horribly frightening about all this, and it has nothing to do with the fact that both Trek and Specialized are attempting to market stylish yet practical bikes. That's a good thing, and in the short term everybody wins. No, the scary thing is that in their increasingly extreme attempts to out-style, out-green, and out-utility each other and seize control of the practical cycling marketplace Trek and Specialized will probably soon go to actual war. "Thing One?" "Globe Experience Project?" These sound like plans for world domination out of an old James Bond film. Sure, the handlebar grip on the Trek Belleville may be recyclable, but what good is that when their super-weaponry has laid waste to the Earth?

So if you don't want to support what is rapidly escalating into World War III and you don't have enough money to pay some guy in Portland with massive sideburns to build you a custom frame, yet you still want to show the world how "green" you are, what choice do you have? Well, a reader has alerted me to a frame that's so devoid of marketing--indeed so devoid of any information whatsoever--that its very simplicity is the most offensive kind of pretention:

What is this thing? Who builds it? How am I taking power away from "oil companies" and "greedheads?" Is it made from bamboo? Is it delivered to me on foot? How will I find components that are sufficiently politically correct to bolt to this thing? Perhaps most importantly, if I'm the sort of person looking to join "a whole movement" based on "brains," "muscles," and "humans," why do I still live in a house with a garage? Do I somehow heat it with my own swollen sense of integrity?

I guess if I really want to know I'll have to email "nada bike," since presumably providing more information on their web page somehow empowers the oil companies. Or else, maybe I can pay the Bike Shrink to figure it out for me and tell me if I should get one. I wonder if I can ride it on weekends.

137 comments:

abamosh said...

SIIHBAP

Anonymous said...

BROM PTON

rezado said...

Shēk not chik

Anonymous said...

Boo ya !!! (sp?)

Anonymous said...

1) Carry stuff with your bike
2) Don't carry stuff with your bike

Ride it to work.

Brilliant.

Fritz said...

Green and Blue

David said...

money

Anonymous said...

Gosh, top ten and I read it, too!

Salty Seattle said...

Damn! Maybe I should've worn my heels today!

wishiwasmerckx said...

Top ten?

mikeweb said...

Numero 10!

Andrew said...

in the breakaway!

Doug said...

top 20

leroy said...

Questions, questions, questions.

All I really want to know is:

Do these bibs make my butt look big?

Or is my seat too small?

Anonymous said...

Why is Jessica super cool??? Is it because she walked out on the hair dye job before they finished ?

Meshkat said...

Can I send a punch through PayPal??

Strayhorn said...

Wow, am I ever in the wrong business (although I've managed to put two kids through college on my ill-gotten income as a web developer).

First the Bike Shrink scams $30 per person to tell them the sorts of things that they would find for free by asking Mr Googles.

Then the nada folks will send you a frame if you send them $100. And it's probably a frame they got out of the county dump or from one of those neighborhood recycling efforts.

I feel bad charging people $25 just to update a phone number on their site. Apparently I need to charge them $125 for the mere promise of updating their phone number. And cop an attitude about it at the same time.

If I did that, I'd be able to buy that last crabon C-dale frame at a local shop before they are all made in Taiwan. Or that $100 Campy bottle holder. I could even drop my efforts to sue Nashbar for losing my financial data to the Russian mob.

Anonymous said...

FYI, that wasn't a double cherry picker. That would be a pedal picker. Pedalling it becomes a death truck. Really Snobby, you should know your flatland moves a little bit better. O course, it could be a cherry picker if teh ladies were both, well, you know, virgins.

mikeweb said...

Q:

When is a chainguard not a chainguard?

A:

When it's a beltguard.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 1:08pm,

Thanks for setting me straight. I really only know the names of the two BMX tricks I ever managed to pull off. (I could never do a cherrypicker, hence the error.)

--RTMS

Astroluc said...

so how do these "nada"bikers lube their chains without any oil? how-about greasing their various bearings? should I ask?! How did I miss the Boston Globe launch? And why-o-why didn't Specialized buy Cannondale instead of Pacific?! They could have changed the name to Cannonized; and you know that with a biblical lilt like that in a name, not even The Great Trek Bicycle Making Company could defeat them since G*D would be riding a Globe ...

..would this mean that Mary rides a Dolce?

PDUM FODR

hillbilly said...

Wow, who knew that all this time I was being cool by running into walls?

ringcycles said...

Snobbie: "The fixed-gear Rubicon does not flow like a regular river, however, since it is unable to coast". Vedi, vidi, vinci! Brilliant! where is Pont.Pil. when we need him to comment?

wishiwasmerckx said...

Wow. Where to start.

First, I think that it would improve all cycling experiences if they were done in a moose-knuncle leotard, especially one in the Hitleryouth colorway.

It would also improve most cycling experiences if they ended with two girls going all lezbo on each other, just like in the video.

I often ride with a monkey on my back. I am now inspired to trade in my helper monkey for a frauline.

If you are diong artistic cycling, may I recommend dry teflon chain lube to aviod ending up with greasy black chainring marks all over you and your white leotard.

Lastly, it is clear that the FGF's ride the short bus to this particular competition.

ant1 said...

ant1st!

Ronsonic said...

Those artistic cycling girls ... I keep thinking about them. Do they have any other videos? More candid maybe. I'm sure they shower after a show. Together? Maybe towel each other off .... Perhaps things go a little too far? get out of hand? In the locker room ... Maybe...

.....

grog said...

MORE FLGS
MORE FUNN

ant1 said...

"Not that there's anything wrng with tht."

genius

mikeweb said...

In that 'Super cool Jessica' video:

"We just want people to try out the bikes and share their experiences with others..."

Translation:

"Our marketing budget sucks so we have to depend on word of mouth."

Ed Stockwell said...

Bravo! But what kind of bike should I use? Yes?

Anonymous said...

KUNS TRAD

H-DO RFER

INLO VE!!

EATS HIT

FIXT ERS!

Strayhorn said...

mikeweb Dude, I think the translation is: "Our marketing budget was spent on consultants who told us to get user-generated content. So now we're going to have a bunch of badly-spelled posts and shaky phone cam vids."

CommieCanuck said...

Brain Jones of Greensboro, Al., pic on Nada is just before his death of terminal pink-eye. He didn't want to buy into the man's world of big pharma and their "cures".

Finally, someone has outlined the global conspiracy between big oil, big auto, greedheads, great heads, and that fucker Tullio Campagnolo.

If you add and subtract some letters, you will come to the horrible realization that Tullio Campagnolo is an anagram for: DICK CHENEY.

Derailleurs and breaks are just the man's way of getting you to use more gears and cables, which must be lubed with BLOOD OIL. You've all become fat and dependent on gears to get uphills, and even dependent on cranks and tires.

The true bicycle is a dandy-horse has a hemp-fiber belt drive and all parts sculpted from cold Soya margarine.

Send me $200 and I'll send you a card with nothing on it, which you can proudly display as anti-consumerist, and anti-establishment. In fact, for an extra $20, I won't even send you the card.

Simplify, man.

Anonymous said...

super cool, do the drapes match the colorway of the sisal floorway?

Anonymous said...

Paint free that is a new one. Nada knows nada.

Anonymous said...

TOPF ORTY

Chris said...

Artistic cycling is yet another proof that the UCI will approve ANY bicycle-related activity instead of adding a recumbent category.

Brian said...

Is Naziyouth artistic cycling designed to make me feel tingly? If they were riding a Nada I think I might have goose-stepped myself.

MOOS NUKL

Anonymous said...

exxon mobil is behind critical mass

MINGUStheMECHANIC said...

Is that woody itson on the trickstar?

Anonymous said...

Yo Tony (Antonio) No pis of your brother Mario lately !

Juan Altitude said...

Damn, Mr. Snob, youze iz on fire!

Anonymous said...

Nadabike: Some doosh bought 100 frames from Taiwan, sans paint and is selling them through the worst website I think I have ever seen. Notice, there are 89 left with 11 idiots stupid enough to buy these pieces of crap - and stupid enough to put their pictures on the interwebs to show how stupid they are. One option to this piece of garbage:

http://www.nashbar.com/bikes/Product_10053_10052_173108_-1_200334_200274_200450

And it's painted! And shipping is $10!

Trendy schmucks...

CommieCanuck said...

Nothing to do with bikes, but otherwise very bizarre.

Without cellphone coverage on the island, the woman tried to use a land line to call her boyfriend, but Copperfield -- once married to model Claudia Schiffer -- allegedly marched in, holding a phone to his ear as if he were "listening to her call."

A true master of illusion.

CommieCanuck said...

Kreskin would never do that.

thirty-niner said...

I built up a $39 frame from the top-secret bike parts website and they charged way less than $49 for shipping.

$100 for that Nada frame? What do I have, not-a-brain?

CommieCanuck- Do you take checks? (or are they cheques where you are?)

Pontius Pilate said...

The gods have punished me with a top 50 finish on this glorious day.

Also, I should note that The Roman Empire is in fact highly appreciative of any and all references to our beloved Rubicon. I would lay a conquering hero’s wreath at thy feet if I were not deceased.

HAIL CSAR

-P.P.

Cyclin' Missy said...

Synchronized artistic bicycling. Impressive, and at the same time, painfully boring to watch.

Pontius Pilate said...

Or is it

HAIL CZAR ?

I have not yet decided what variant to have tattooed on my cold, dead knuckle remnants.

-P.P.

Anonymous said...

after seeing the artistic fixed gear video, it seems that the hipster riding is only going to get better and the clothes are only going to get tighter.

Anonymous said...

Sam "Querries" just beat Andy Roddick at that tennis tournament in Cincinnati.

Brian said...

True. No single-crotch cherrypickers in the Palms video. But also no skinny jeans. Although I did spot the ever elusive rear aerospoke. Also no 'double vulgarian crotch gobblers' or 'congress of the cows' as flawlessly executed in the artistic vid.

hillbilly said...

That's bizarre, CC, and the top comment from the guy that idolized him is pretty damn weird too.

reuben said...

Great post today Snobby!! Cracked me up.

CommieCanuck said...

39er...cheques? who still uses cheques? what are you, a Lehman Brother's employee? Cheques are as useful as taking 'pledges'.

I'll accept the following:

1. GM stock, $200 cash, or all of GM two years from now.
2. Your place on Richard Sachs' waiting list
3. One day of Dick Cheney's heart medication
4. A pair of plastic axle caps in "forza" red, but not vermilion.

Reed Enwright said...

How much does an Edison frame sell for on craigslist?

bikesgonewild said...

...dear bike snob shrink...i've often wondered "what would jesus ride ???"...

...& while i heard he had the ability to 'walk on water', i'm wondering if that translates over to being able to 'ride on water' & if so, did he need special tires...

...& speaking of which, HE's a guy who would look cool run, rock, rubbin' white tires...i mean, like no doubt...

...anyway, just wonderin' & yer check's in the mail...thx...

...signed:- bgw...

rezado said...

Snob,

What were the two tricks? being able to peddle the bike and bunny hop?

CommieCanuck said...

...dear bike snob shrink...i've often wondered "what would jesus ride ???"...

If our great Christian community is any guideline, a Cadillac Escalade with a "support the troops" ribbon. The Escy runs on premium, which he converted from wine, which he converted from water.

Bikes are just for being smote on.

Anonymous said...

I would respect those lame "fixed gear freestylers" if they could do 2% of that video. Until then, it's all about Day Smith!

Anonymous said...

FGGTS!

mikeweb said...

Is Snob insinuating that those Taiwan girlie fixsters are all cigarettes? or perhaps a bundle of sticks...

Sully said...

Wait just a second. Thats not fair .You comparing the german Cherrypickers to us freestyle fixies. How many years have they had to get that good? Us fixies have been around what..like two years max?Those girls obviously devoted every waking hour to their discipline.Us fixies have to get up at 11.am. eat some organic tofu.pedal to the coffee shop and pose with our bikes at least a couple hours and contemplate how good the new radiohead album will be.We will of course practice our trackstands for about 5 minutes for all to see even though the light has turned green about 30 times in that time.When we finally make it to town center.We'd have to drink from our water bottle mounted flasks.You cant expect us to have the same kind of equilibrium with our slightly sideways retro cycling caps.Also Our wheels are unbalanced with the mandatory Obama postcards stuck in the spokes of our back wheels.The front wheels have to be aerospokes if we are truly in the unyielding stringent fixie rulebook.Range of motion is also an factor since we HAVE to wear tight skinny jean shorts only allowing us to do moves like the lazy elephant.Dont even think of us doing cherrypickers nevermind double cherrypickers.So Mr. BSNYC, I dont think its fair to try to compare us to the German team.They have Wagner to keep them in sync.But we have a real bithin D.J to keep us rockin.He also wears a trucker/cycling cap cocked sideways too to show his allegiance to the conformofixie army.They won this battle but we will win this conformo war I/we swear.

Test Tickle said...

And I always thought upturned drop bars were for old guys who were forced to ride because of a DUI...

Astroluc - Wax-base lubes!

WKND RIDE

balls.

Sully said...

Oh Yeah I forgot did you see the "fans" In the stands at the Germans show?How tame. We fixies are so bitchin we had to barricade the rabid fans from our freesyle expo.How ironic is that? We were rockin like a hurricane our fans just like the German rock band The Scorpions video.We beat them at their own game! Any invaders were dealt the lazy elephant to their hubcaps.Take that Germans!

db said...

1. Would the Trek World of your fantasies have a Greg Lemond shooting gallery?

2. Did the German-flag-stripes up the back of those cyclists unitards remind anyone else of a rainy-day ride without fenders?

Sully said...

The upturned bars originates in Long Beach Ca. The higher position was pioneered by the tweekers need to look in trash barrels for Highly sought and coveted toasters and other things they can fix while High on Chrystal Meth.It also helps to be upright to watch out for cops while another tweeker breaks into cars and steals stereos and cds to pay for drugs.

bikesgonewild said...

...beg to differ, cc...now, the apostles, ya, they'd be all black n' chrome escaladin' w' spinners on the dub's, trick paint down the side that sez "water" in deep, deep blue that morphs into "wine" in rich, red burgundy depending on the light...

...i mean, those cats were always over the top "spreadin' the word" but i get that jesus hisself was a humble man...

...a simple white buddha-brand fixie (guy hadda great sense of humor), gold anodized gruppo (stem, crank n' hubs), some white tires & a 'special edition' white leather brooks...pair a' custom crafted 'spd' huaraches...

...always simple, always stylin' & never worried about bein' clipped in...

..."hey look...jesus is doing another miracle !!!...he's stopping his bike w/ no brakes !!!"...folks ate that shit up...jesus was like "meh...no biggie"...

Anonymous said...

Laughing group

Anonymous said...

The Gary Fisher Triton offers fixed or singlespeed (with brakes) flexibilility straight out of the box.

wow. That's more flexibility than normal, it offers flexibilililility

Salty Seattle said...

"a whole movement based on brains, muscles, humans,"

...and beards?

Anonymous said...

what cant GF et al copy?

Anonymous said...

ive heard those nahabs boys are to strike for a year, then start copying trek.

Anonymous said...

Ok, get ready to flame on. What does RTMS stand for?

Brian said...

Trek colorway=German leotard

NAZI YUTE

hillbilly said...

Recumbents Tickle My Soul

Anonymous said...

"What does RTMS stand for?"
really tight male sphincter

Anonymous said...

More things to do with your bike. On weekends.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mlby6qNG8SU

Anonymous said...

i'm sitting here on the 81st floor (my office overlooks 4 compass directions) feeding bank notes into a counting machine, picking my nose and barking at the speakerphone. i cant help but start to get slightly concerned that the bicycle worl is turning its back on me, after all the money ive pumped into it.

Anonymous said...

Commiecanuck's Wednesday has lasted too long.

Anonymous said...

Rucksacks: Trendy Mans Satchel

JTK said...

Randy Taint Massaging Scenester

Anonymous said...

arent you wondering whats next? whats the next big thing after this one? theyll catch you with your pants down if youre not careful.

Anonymous said...

Ragged Trustfundafarian Menstrual Sessions

Anonymous said...

i think performance sell bike frames too.

Anonymous said...

i would have totally considered joining the nada revolution if they offered sizes for people of less than 5'5" heights. god!

Anonymous said...

you gotta be over 5'5 to to go on that rollercoaster

Fletcher said...

I am very curious about those bikes...I found a link about Nada bikes here. http://janetalent.com/?p=212
It looks like that every one of those who bought a bike is in graphic design...

Disgruntl Ed. said...

Very nice. Mind your repertoire.

Furthermore...

Ringcycles: vici.
CC: smitten.

Carry on.

wishiwasmerckx said...

CC. - "Smote upon," not "smote on." Besides, smoting is bad for your health.

bikesgonewild said...

...anon 4:00pm...you sound like you been smokin' w/ the fish...

...& i'm thinkin' a' permanently fenderizing a 'triton' my own self...a brooks, small bag or two, bruce gordon rear rack, fsa compact 'wing' bar (pour moi, wing bars = comfort)...a decent light...

...mostly for riding as a single but guarantee ya, i will ride it as a fix at times...

Anonymous said...

"Ok, get ready to flame on. What does RTMS stand for?"

Research The Meaning, Stupid

bikesgonewild said...

...dear bike snob shrink...isn't it kinda "woosie" to roller race when the the bike is attached to the rollers ???...

...not being judgmental but, like you know, if the situation were ever to occur...

...signed:- bgw...

Anonymous said...

I've found myself riding with that mutton chopped portland bike builder on more than one occasion. *Everyone swoon* I also poo pooed his favorite clothing maker, rapha, over that ridiculous 3500 dollar riding suit on bikeportland.org.

Anonymous said...

i aint checking that site, however hard you try. smells like utah.

Anonymous said...

(not johnny)

Anonymous said...

bikzgonewild,
the ad is copy-pasted. I'm out where the burrito is king, so everyday is wed, as it were.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of fggt and crotch-related fun... Is it just me, or is the stylized A on giro-doper Sella's Jersey a perfect representation of two people participating in some rear entry action?

Anonymous said...

That team should be named D-Style, not A-Style

Anonymous said...

"Trek designed its Belleville models with a retro flair but also modern features such as generator hubs and drum brakes."

what will they think of next...pnematic tires filled with recyled air

bikesgonewild said...

...anon 7:30pm...abso-fucking-lutely...cool jersey, although questionable...

...& anon 4:00 n' 7:29pm...hate to use the phrase but "back in the day" senor fisher & i burned up a few miles, blazed down some trails & endangered a few crops, as it were & doused the flames w/ plenty of cerveza, all in a galaxy far, far away...

Anonymous said...

bikesgonwild,
cool. so I'll see you around then, now that there is only about 10 miles of trail still open in the state.

Anonymous said...

Hey Anon 4:28. That's my line. And you got responses. Why don't I get responses?

Right, that's me stumped.

Anonymous said...

Readers three missed sentury.

d. fofonov said...

I am meaning not to be disrespectful of these toasty German women, but when they are getting older they are always very fat and very bitchy. Even worse than American and Ukrainian women.

bikesgonewild said...

...anon ---,--- & 7:53pm...why am i laughing at yer response ???...fuck, it's getting to be true...

...lotta positive talk, very little positive action...

kale said...

Anon 4:28-

FYI

Roast That Marijuana Sucka!

Salty Seattle said...

This post makes me think of this song.

Or this one.


Since what's not that old is cool again, and all..

bikesgonewild said...

...kale...ya gotta admit anon 6:04pm's "
Research The Meaning, Stupid"

ain't a bad response...at least for all those who aren't invited to the 'get-togethers'...

...truth is, doesn't much matter if they don't know the secret handshake...

...'cuz w/out the handshake, they'll never get a chance for the decoder ring & w/out the ring, sheesh, forget it !!!...

Anonymous said...

nada bikes! sounds like a bike for punk bitches!!

Anonymous said...

Anon 7:30 - I had to stare at it for a minute or so to see it, but -- once you do, it's inescapable, and hilarious. What was their no-doubt-expensive graphic designer thinking?

ringcycles said...

Snobbie: as for "taintly master", now I know where Robbie McEwen learned his positioning skills, you remember he was a bmx kid before he raced on the road. Favorite McEwen quoate "Nah, it couldn't have been like boxing, in boxing you use your hands"

Seanywonton said...

2 things:

I love how the Trek Belleville features "one-piece bar and stem includes a built-in stem extension". That could also be done by not lopping off so much of the steerer tube, or maybe even better, designing the bike with a quill stem. Those things actually work pretty good, and you can't beat them for adjustability.

Second and more importantly, I can see a big parallel between what Trek and Specialized are doing, and what the macro-breweries have done to reclaim some of the market share they lost to craft beer. Back in the 90's when craft beer had really hit its stride, that's when you saw the fake micros like Blue Moon and Michelob Amber Bock come out. Now we have Budweiser's ultra-mediocre "American Ale", which tastes like a middling 80's craft beer at best. It's not even close to the upper range of what great beer can be.

Once the little guys (in any industry) get popular for what they do and gain a significant amount of the market share, it's only a matter of time before larger companies rip off their ideas in slightly more generic ways. And you're right Snob, it's not going to fool the die-hard fans a bit. I see it as the ultimate flattery rolled up with the ultimate bitch-slap.

Anonymous said...

Trek is making a tasteful single speed townie? The end is nigh.

Anonymous said...

Um, did you see that Google had to provide some info about an anon. blogger in a slander suit?
Snob, it's be good to lay off the Lone Wolf and others.

sspeier said...

BS– I know you're a funny guy, but the fact that sometimes you don't even have to write a joke to be hilarious - "WE ARE FGGT" ??? You have the luckiest sense of humour in the world. Funny AND lucky!!! Fggt.

7sp said...

Since A-Style appears to be a cheeky italian clothing brand, I think the connotations of that logo are probably and unfortunately intentional.

Jen said...

pretention : pretense :: nada bike : ?

WEBS TERS

VT_Rob said...

BSNYC,

Bravo on the Huffy Santa Fe reference. I immediately remembered that fine piece of cycling equipment from my childhood, which I had not thought about in 25 yrs!

Anonymous said...

your pics/vids just prove what douche bags bikers are

ant1 said...

I don't think it's specifically cyclists that are douchebags, but rather people who post videos of themselves doing things no one else really cares about.

Anonymous said...

WE'RE FGGT

Anonymous said...

fixedgeargirltaiwan.blogspot.com/

FGGT BLOG

The REAL super cool Jessica said...

That bitch ain't me!

Corey said...

"querries"

How can you trust a guru who can't even spell, or worse, click on the spell check button.

hillbilly said...

very well put seany....i concur. did bud also buy up red hook?

Rodney Allen Rippy said...

RTMS
Read The Manual, Stupid.

Crankee said...

Gotta admit, Sully has a point... we had to import artistic cyclists and make them look like fixed-gear freestylers for that Quicksilver movie.

But that's because we lost the ones we had after the end of bike boom #1. I blame those 6-day riders. All speed and endurance, not freestylin'.

What jerks!

HUFFY said...

The Wind

Ines Brunn said...

It's all about performing
that's the name of the game
I pull on my leotard
and I stand on the frame

Anonymous said...

Test Tickle

"And I always thought upturned drop bars were for old guys who were forced to ride because of a DUI..."

Perfect. You nailed the customers from multiple shops I've wrenched at.

Jessica said...

It's true, I am very artsy-looking. I once took a class at community college on how to paint landscapes onto grains of rice.

Anonymous said...

Do you think those two ladies are lesbians? I just saying....not that there is anything wrong with that.

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