Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Pimping Your Ride: Making Money With Your Bike

In these difficult economic times, it is increasingly difficult to make ends meet. Fortunately, as cyclists, we have a number of advantages over the rest of humanity. For one thing, our preferred mode of transport is relatively inexpensive--well, that's not always the case, but it's true for the most part. Also, despite our many differences, we cyclists are a community. And the best thing about being part of a community is that you can take advantage of it by offering fellow members dubious goods and services in exchange for money. For example, not only is your bicycle a cheap way to get around town, but it can also be a cash cow:



can I rent your track bike?
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2009-02-03, 6:02PM EST

I am not selling anything. I have posted in the bicycle section because I am in New York until the 13th of February. I am looking to rent a track bike. I ride a 50 or 51 but I can ride up to a 53 or 54. I regularly ride brakeless but I am happy to borrow any track bike with brakes as long as it is fixed.
I am willing to pay about eight dollars a day. And I can assure you that I will not leave the bike alone or in an unsafe place. I do not have a lock, so unless I can borrow one, I will not even leave the bike outside.
Please give me a call 646.244.[deleted]. or email me.

As the architect of "Take A Pista, Leave A Pista," I've long seen the potential for a track bike-sharing program. The fixter is a nomadic breed, often moving from city to city for years before finally choosing one that offers the perfect combination of trendiness and low cost of living. This is why so many Craigslist posts incorporate the familiar "Moving--Must Sell!" sales pitch. Furthermore, this is also why people try to sell their bicycles at close to full MSRP, since as soon as they arrive in, say, Portland, they will be forced to purchase a duplicate of the bike they just sold in, say, Brooklyn. "Take A Pista, Leave A Pista" would obviate the need for this formality. Instead, just leave your Pista or similar in the tray at JFK and grab another when you arrive at PDX.

However, "Take A Pista, Leave A Pista" has two shortcomings. Firstly, while creating a communal Pista supply is altruistic and a worthy social endeavor, there's little potential for revenue. Secondly, it is not designed with the fixter tourist in mind. Fixter tourists do not want to give up their highly-customized "whips" if they're only leaving town for a week or two, yet they also want full "street cred" in the town they're visiting, even if it's only for a few days. After all, how will anybody know they rock/run/rub a fixed-gear if they can only borrow or rent a geared bike? Remember--many of these people have taken lifelong fixed-gear vows, promising to be "fixed forever" (kind of like a neutered cat). This is not a vow that's undertaken lightly.

So until some fixed-gear boutique catches on to the need for a fixter service that combines elements of Echappe Equipment and Netflix (perhaps it could be called "Netfixed") you can make big money "turning out" your own fixed-gear. Okay, well maybe not big money--judging from the above it looks like the going rate for "street cred rental" is only $8 a day--but these days every cent counts. And 10 days at $8 a day is $80. (Or twice what it would cost to just buy this thing.) I'd actually consider renting this person my own personal Empire State Courier, but he does specify "track" and I'm sure the slightly more relaxed angles of the Perscattante would be a deal-breaker.

But what if you don't have a spare track bike to pimp? Well, a reader forwarded me the following post, which proves that a German luxury car will do just as well:





IM DRIVING TOUR OF CALIFORNIA IN MY NICE BENZ, HELP WITH GAS! (Bay Area TOUR OF CALIFORNIA)
Reply to: comm-1017760015@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2009-02-02, 10:57AM PST


HI, I'm working as a photo-journalist during the Tour of Cali and will be most likely following the whole tour, so if you want to see part or most of it, or just want a ride from A to b, take a look at where it is going and if it works out, we can be travel companeros.

My 4 door MB 190e has a/c sunroof, all electric, stereo CD/MP3 and tinted back windows, its a 4 cylinder 2.3 liter and rides very well.

BTW: I'll be taking two people max, I want it to be comfy, asking $25/person/day for gas, oil, maintanence--thank you! And please be a bit of a neat freak, no slobs in or during my ride ;) ;(
and you'll have to have modest luggage, sorry!
andrew
cell 415-216-5501

p.s. i sent the wrong link out to everyone and now anyone can edit this! yay!
p.p.s i like kittens!

I have a strong suspicion that the photography thing is simply a ruse and that this ad was posted by none other than Rock Racing owner, pants magnate, and pending has-been Michael Ball. Things have been tough over in the Rock camp--so tough, in fact, that the team is "rolling" Kestrels now. (Rock does not "rock" as that would be redundant, nor do they "run" or "rub." Rock "rolls.") If you're unfamiliar with Kestrel, it is a brand that was once a mere notch or two lower than Serotta in the dentist-bike hierarchy, but has since tumbled from grace and is now available from both bikesdirect and Performance. I'm sorry to see Rock Racing didn't take my Windsor suggestion, but it is good to see they're being budget-minded. Most likely, though, Ball's reckless decision to opt for the Dura Ace-equipped Kestrel over the Ultegra SL-equipped Windsor has torn a sizeable hole in his budget, and he's now being forced to take on passengers so he can follow his own team.

And Ball isn't the only "celebrity" feeling the pinch. Actor, singer, filmmaker, and all-around renaissance douche Vincent Gallo is also looking to make a few bucks wherever he can. Another reader informs me that he's put his personal Brooklyn Machine Works on eBay. Sadly, moreover, it failed to find a buyer:





This may have been due at least in part to the fact that Gallo has taken the opportunity to re-tell the entire story of his life in the item's description:




For Sale: Brand new, un-ridden Brooklyn Machine Works handmade 5 speed road bike. Brooklyn Machine Works is a spectacular boutique high-level bicycle manufacturer in Brooklyn, New York. Its owner, president and designer Joe Avedisian has been a friend of mine since he was a young teenager growing up in lower Manhattan. During that period, I was racing Formula II Grand Prix motorcycles and Joe and his young buddies were BMX maniacs terrorizing New York City on their bicycles. Joe and a few of his friends got into BMX on the competitive level. Joe is a fantastic bicyclist. During my motorcycle racing days I was doing a lot of work with metal, including welding, fabricating, and finish work. As Joe got older he got more and more interested in the engineering and construction of bicycles and sometime in the early 90’s he hand built his first bicycle. It was incredible. He brought it to my apartment on Elizabeth Street and asked me to do a custom finish and invent a logo for his company, which he decided would be called Brooklyn Machine Works. The bike was called “The Central Park” and Joe and many of his friends frequently went on bike rides in Central Park after dark, riding crazy free style through a very dimly lit Central Park. My concept for painting his first frame was to finish the bike in glow in the dark white. In the daytime, the color was a beautiful pearl white and in the nighttime it would glow fluorescent green. I mixed a highly concentrated level of fluorescent powder in an Imron base coat and achieved a spectacular finish. By hand, in black enamel, in a script font I painted Brooklyn Machine Works onto the frame. Joe rode this bike for many years and when he finally got his company off the ground and was doing well he gave this first prototype bike that we worked on together to me as a gift. About a year ago I decided to have Joe build me a new bike. I was quite detailed and specific about what I wanted. Basically I wanted a high tech lock up bike that I could ride around New York City and lock up without the bike drawing too much attention from thieves. This bike would be super engineered and be fitted with some of the finest parts but I would have everything as minimal as possible and have it finished in flat black powder coating to dull down its charisma while still expressing a sophisticated aesthetic. During the period of designing and manufacturing this masterpiece I moved permanently to Los Angeles in an industrial neighborhood downtown. I had the bike shipped here and since having it here for several months, I have never ridden it. In New York City I rode a bicycle every day, but in LA I’m just not into it, and thus this masterpiece has never left my house and has never been ridden by anyone. Rather than move it around my house like a piece of furniture, I have decided to sell it. Joe Avedisian has learned a lot from me and though the bike should have been given to me as a gift out of respect the way folks gave gifts to Don Corleone, Joe decided to charge me a hefty fee for the bike. I won’t go into details about how high Judas Joe’s price was. I’ll simply say that I think of it as a gesture of charity, keeping an engineering fanatic and his wonderful company afloat. In any case, my loss is your gain because no bicycle in the world that is in current production is better, cooler, or more beautiful than one built by Brooklyn Machine Works. The bike is set up with : *** Sram 5-speed rear coaster hub****, *** kick brake only*****. frame size is 52.cm***. ****68 mil bottom bracket****. ****Front hub is a Paul's Precision****. Thomson seat post***. *****Crank Brothers pedals****. *****Brooklyn Stem*****. *** Steel frame***. ***170 Sugino crank***. ***700 x 23 Vittoria tires ZAFFIRO***. ***Seat SDG*** .............. PICK UP IN LA IS ACCEPTABLE. ALL OTHERS TO PAY FOR ALL BOXING AND SHIPPING FEES. GOOD LUCK.



It must sadden Gallo terribly that not only did he not receive any money for his bicycle, but he also didn't receive any recognition. It would appear from the Q&A that the only person even remotely interested in the bike had absolutely no clue who he was:




Q: hey, i was just wondering how tall you are? just need to see if the size 52 would fit me. what year is this? and why is called the GALLO? isn't it a gangsta track? are there are any dings, scratches, rust etc. on the frame? thanks!

A: I am 5 feet 10 1/2 inches. The bike was built one year ago and has never been ridden and is 100% mint without any issues.


At least Gallo answered the question sincerely instead of going all Christian Bale on him.

And what of Brooklyn Machine works? Not only is Gallo struggling to sell his, but noted fixed-gear freestyler and streetwear enthusiast Prolly has also defected in favor of a giant purple hybrid from Milwaukee. Worst of all, the most famous of all BMW owners, Kanye West, has publicly admitted that he can't even ride his Gangsta Track:



Yes, braking can be difficult on a brakeless bike. Personally, I think Kanye would be much more comfortable astride a Specialized Vienna Deluxe, though I suppose the fact that the bike sports a "street cred" factor in the negative double digits means that's probably not going to happen.

Fortunately, some members of the hip hop nation aren't afraid to embrace practical dork bikes. Take Mr. Theo, for example. A reader has forwarded me this video in which he teaches people how to ride the buses of Louisville, KY with their bicycles, and I think you'll agree that it quite literally raises the bar:




If there's one thing our community needs, it's more cycling-themed instructional videos in rap form.

135 comments:

Nick said...

1st!

crispy said...

first?

WheelDancer said...

Whoo hooo

Anonymous said...

third to tha rd!

Anonymous said...

Third first?

Anonymous said...

top ten nico

Nick said...

Wow I never thought I'd see the day, but when you read it this obsessively-- anything can happen. That's right kids, you too can be 1st some day.

Now time to actually read the article...

hillier99 said...

Nice benz!

1st comment.

Anonymous said...

top ten

Climbin'J said...

With a bullet!

Anonymous said...

I am the Blue Cheese… fast, fierce, and pungent!

Kareer Kriminal said...

This bike talk is cool. Gotta get involved. Probably steal a bike later today. What kind should I grab?

Anonymous said...

and top 12!

crispy said...

sweet! I'll take that :-)

Nicole said...

top 15

Anonymous said...

20 !

Anonymous said...

Top 20? That's respectable in a Pro, 1, 2 field...

Nick said...

Instructional independent label band fixed gear music videos to come.

Anonymous said...

SMITHAREEN, n. A fragment, a decomponent part, a remain. The word is used variously, but in the following verse on a noted female reformer who opposed bicycle-riding by women because it "led them to the devil" it is seen at its best:

The wheels go round without a sound -- The maidens hold high revel; In sinful mood, insanely gay, True spinsters spin adown the way From duty to the devil! They laugh, they sing, and --ting-a-ling! Their bells go all the morning; Their lanterns bright bestar the night Pedestrians a-warning. With lifted hands Miss Charlotte stands, Good-Lording and O-mying, Her rheumatism forgotten quite, Her fat with anger frying. She blocks the path that leads to wrath, Jack Satan's power defying. The wheels go round without a sound The lights burn red and blue and green. What's this that's found upon the ground? Poor Charlotte Smith's a smithareen! --John William Yope”

Anonymous said...

20?

Bill said...

rock/run/rubl? is that the russian version?

Nicole said...

What agro boys like Christian Bale and Kanye West need are a couple of tacos and a Why Bother 1000 gear tandem.

Anonymous said...

Ah so close... 23!

Anonymous said...

I respect Kanye for admitting that he's a poseur because he is uncomfortable riding a brakeless fixie. So am I. That's why I use gears and brakes. If only the vast majority of fixters could be as honest with themselves and the world that laughs at them.

We know that you know that you can't ride it. Why keep pretending?

peabody said...

who is vincent gallo ?
looks like a doofus

Ronsonic said...

Does anybody actually know why Vincent Gallo is famous?

CommieCanuck said...

Factoid: Vincent is the gay lovechild of Ernest and Julio Gallo.
The more you know...


Buying this bike is right up there with Jon Voight's Chrysler Lebaron.

I give Rock Racing six months before they are rockin' motobecanes and getting paid in free jeans.

p.p.s i eat kittens!

carlos said...

as always, its more important to leave a comment and get a higher placement than actually read this blog. I'm sure just by typing this I've lost 10 places.

Axle Creep said...

Yeah, that's probably totally reasonable

Anonymous said...

I would have been in the top 20, but I was taking a pista.

Anonymous said...

let me get this straight--Gallo, who thinks he's famous but isn't, overpaid for a lame bike, from someone who he used to be friends with but now isn't, never rode it, and now thinks anyone cares that he's selling it? Too confusing.

Another way to "dull down its charisma while still expressing a sophisticated aesthetic" is adding stickers.

Slappy said...

Oh, boy so much interesting stuff.

Dr. Science said...

I got a bike once owned and ridden by Che Guevara that I'd like to sell. He used to deliver papers with it in Sioux Falls. That's Jaime "Che" Guevara. He drives truck for Swift Transportation now. Doesn't even own a bike anymore.

bikesgonewild said...

...surely that bike, at that price is an example of "gallo's humor"...

CommieCanuck said...

ok..now I'm pissed off, but you guys made me do this, you drove me to it:

Vincent Gallo.

Please observe the four second safety rule.

From wikipedia:

In early 2005, Gallo made a posting on his merchandise website offering his "disease-free" sperm for $1 million. However he added that he "maintains the right to refuse sale of his sperm to those of extremely dark complexions. Though a fan of Franco Harris, Derek Jeter, Lenny Kravitz and Lena Horne, Mr. Gallo does not want to be part of that type of integration."[16]

He also offered a $50,000 discount to any woman "who can prove she has naturally blonde hair and blue eyes" and "anyone who can prove a direct family link to any of the German soldiers of the mid-century".[16] Gallo also expressed his desire to impregnate a Jewish woman, because "this connection to the Jewish faith would guarantee his offspring a better chance at good reviews and maybe even a prize at the Sundance Film Festival or an Oscar."[16] In early 2006, Gallo made another website posting offering his services as an "evening or weekend escort" and was open to any woman who would pay his fee of $50,000 for one night or $100,000 for a weekend.

---Oh, I WANT that bike. I can put it right next to the Mel Gibson beard clippings I bought on eBay.

Gallo was famous for Brown bunny, a film in which Chloë Sevigny proved she literally sucks as a actress.

Anonymous said...

The Brown Bunny (2003) --> Chloe Sevigny --> fellatio scene
--> "worst movie in the history of the Cannes Film Festival" --> Vincent Gallo --> has been douchebag

Anonymous said...

Let's not forget Buffalo 66!!! Atrue cinematic acheivement.

CommieCanuck said...

actually, Buffalo '66 was pretty close to a documentary..that town has jumped the shark, and then the shark burned down in a three-alarm blaze.

Father Schwinn said...

The religious component of this site and those that put comments here is astonishing. Probably some of them don't realize that St. Dymphna is protecting them.

Anonymous said...

Woot! Woot!

ant1 said...

ant1st!

CommieCanuck said...

$100,000 for a sex weekend with Vinny, clearly no takers on that either.

Kevn in Seattle said...

Snob, Here's a cycling-themed instructional videos in rap form from you home town web site:
http://www.freewilliamsburg.com/archives/2009/01/sam_sprockets_b.html

Kevin in Seattle

d. fofonov said...

Remaining at Privetnoya taking break from ride on Trans-Siberian Railway for arousing conscientiousness for Natural and should be legal nutritional substances to improve performance and harden erections.

Problem being that I am thinking that numbness and hardening of male member was due to saddle pressure and heptaminol, instead it is freezing solid of male member due to harsh Siberian winter.

Am seeking therapy with dyavushki but things are no to be going so hot. Did I maybe make an American funny?

During break I am talking to agent of business and I am asking how to save very much money on taxes. He is telling me to coming to American for being politian for Democrat Party as they are not paying taxes ever according to reports of Pravda.

Ceejus duh svedania.

db said...

pending has-been Michael Ball.

Awesome. Makes it sound like there's a waiting list for that status. "You're behind Cheney."

streepo said...

Does the $100,000 cover the cost of the insect/disease removal, inoculations and thorough scrubbing of every orifice from merely being in proximity of the scuzzy bastard?

Camp Cupboard said...

Mr. Theo is NO Miss Cleo.

innerlighter said...

I would consider buying Gallo's bike if he would put a lime green disc wheel on the back with that whole douchey explanation on it in black lettering.

All You Haters Suck My Pretense.


meh.

Anonymous said...

Wait a second...After watching the Mr. Theo video, I realized that all those "tarck" bikes I've seen on Craigslist might not be track bikes listed by sellers with poor spelling/typing skills after all. Maybe "tarc" bike just means that the bike is compatible with the Transit Authority of River City's (tarc) bike rack system.

leroy said...

Gallo?

Wasn't he the guy who got shot at Umberto's Clam House in Little Italy and then Bob Dylan wrote a song about him?

I thought Dylan's refrain "What made them want to blow you away" was a prescient critique of Brown Bunny.

CommieCanuck said...

ok, we have a way to contact Gallo. All we need now is a 4 year old kid with a dark complexion to go over to Gallo's place and call him "daddy".

Who's with me?

red neckerson said...

well me and ricky are reelly pist because we been sitting in the pubic libary for hours banging away at the refresh buttons of these computers like aunt maude when she went up to belterra and played nickel slots until her bladder ruptured and she damm near died

anyway we gots up so i could check out the butterfly tattoo on some babe and ricky had to take a leak and by the time we gots back there was like 50 coments already posted and were tired of this shit

Daddo said...

leroy - that was joey gallo

Joey, Joey,
King of the streets, child of clay.
Joey, Joey,
What made them want to come and blow you away?

Vincent is quite the d-bag, yes he is.

And I saw that pick guard! WTF?

bikesgonewild said...

...life is a cruel mistress, red neckerson & i'm not talking about yer little sojourn w/ the 'alligator lady' from the traveling circus...

...just sayin'...

Matt! said...

Netfixed! Lots of potential there.

Anonymous said...

more signs the economy will tank: bloated celebrities in fabricated press conferences talking about trivial things. i half expect it to be sponsored by ed hardy... when is that tat man gonna drop his fixie for the world to buy with their credit cards?

Critical Ass said...

Prolly, you've just been demoted from the Malcolm McLaren of FGF to the Lou Pearlmanof FGF.

Philboy said...

Whaaat? I don't get it. Are you saying the Specialized Vienna Deluxe ISN'T badass?

Critical Ass said...

BTW...I'd be willing to sell the pick guard from my Hondo 2 Les Paul copy for only $400. That's less than 1/10 of the cost of the pick guard on ebay and looks almost identical!

Anonymous said...

Gallo may be a has been, but nobody here can be bothered to mention Kanye. Even Prolly has more street cred.

James said...

Gallo may be a douche, but many of you just don't understand his art. He is an absolute genius.

In reference to Chloe "sucking as [an] actress", I don't think you are being fair at all. Brown Bunny was great, and the only reason you would say otherwise is that you don't get it. Who's Vincent Gallo?..pfftt...

R@iRey said...

I'm fairly new to the bike community, and to this blog. What the hell does "1rst" mean? Do you people compete for the first comment spot? Haha, classic.

CommieCanuck said...

James said...
Gallo may be a douche, but many of you just don't understand his art.


Oh, I see, the reason why critics pan all his films, and why he's not making any more films, and why his music doesn't sell is that he's too good. We're all just fucking idiots.

Look up the term "pretentious", note the word "good" doesn't appear in the description.

We can't hope to understand his bike either.

streepo said...

I was gonna say that, but you beat me to it, commie. And count me in paying Vinnie a visit.

smovlov said...

Jay-Z: How to do elephant trunk skids.

allez1961 said...

In the words of Ali G. F ff fresh

bikesgonewild said...

...vinny's oeuvre laid an oeuf...

smartypants said...

R@iRay 3:21 -

Onerst?

Anonymous said...

BSNYC,
Given that you've documented your Empire State Courier's street cred, I would think that you would be able to get much more than $8/day in rental fees.

Anonymous said...

Gallo only has 97.1 % +ve Ebay feedback! but i suppose that is 97.1% more than the feedback his films get!

smartypants said...

"My 190e" as rapped by "PS I Like Kittens:"


Wanna see the T-oh-C?

My Em-Bee
190e
made in ninety-three,
has a/c,
so we be cool, baybee

sunroof, all electric,
rubbin' it all hectic
Takin' all the photos,
tinted black windows,
on all fow' do's

its a 4 cylinder 2.3,
rides well
aw hell,
if you wanna be one of my ballers
Just hand over 25 dollars

ricky said...

whats a oeuf

smartypants said...

Something birds make.

James said...

CommieCanuk:

"Oh, I see, the reason why critics pan all his films, and why he's not making any more films, and why his music doesn't sell is that he's too good. We're all just fucking idiots."


-If you are actually trying to make an argument hinged upon what critics, or "everyone else" thinks, yes, you are all fucking idiots.

"Look up the term "pretentious", note the word "good" doesn't appear in the description."

-Good point, I've just spoken to someone about changing this. It's an often misused word in need of revision.

"We can't hope to understand his bike either."

-Probably not.

ant1 said...

Ricky - here's a little joke for you:

Q: Why don't french people eat two egss for breakfast?










A: Because one egg is un oeuf!

I think that's my favorite french joke.

udder said...

Regarding Mr.Gallo- It's best to ignore fools.

Bill said...

"There is nothing lower than the human race...except for the French." - Mark Twain 1878-79

Bill said...

Q. How many jokes are there about the French?
A. One, the rest are true

red neckerson said...

Just find a place where no one knows of
Your redneck past
Yeah, you can easily dispose of your redneck past
You'll show them all back home

Désolé, je suis américain
Please cook my steak again
Je suis américain
Désolé, je ne parle pas français

Laws vary from state to state
Getcha some books on tape
Learn about holes in space

If you're afraid they might discover
Your redneck past
There are a hundred ways to cover your redneck past
It's good to be back home

im sorry for the capitals and stuff but i copied that from the internet

so im saying that any merkin who speeks french is just a damm redneck and i bet some of you are from hazard or places like that and you aint fooling me none

frilly said...

Smarty that was really funny.

Et Antoine, tres amusant aussi! Un oeuf.

*chortle*

frilly said...

Yee-haw, y'all!

Anonymous said...

Vincent Gallo is pretty cute but not as cute as the teenage girl with the "fixed forever" tattoo.

Leprechaun said...

I'll give Gallo credit for talking Choloe into giving him a BJ on camera. Beyond that, Brown Bunny is truly the worst POS I've seen. If you took out all the footage of him driving down the road it would shorten the movie by at least 20 minutes. Lierally. At least Ed Wood movies make you laugh.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Ant1, my favorite French joke?
Q: What do you call a Frenchman in sandals?
A: Phillipe Phlop.

frilly said...

I don't know 5:44, he looks kind of dirty to me. And not dirty in the 'do me' way but dirty in the 'dude, take a bath' kind of way.

And according to wiki, he's had some issues with deviance in the past.

Bluenoser said...

Pretty soon anyone will be able to get bikes for twenty-five cents on the dollar.

Who needs to be a dentist... you only need a job.

-B

Bluenoser said...

Christ, when is Redneckerson going to finally figure out that Cajuns are actually displaced French from Acadia, Nova Scotia, Canada, before it was Canada.

-B

Serviceburo said...

$1499 for that thing? It looks like the Trek hybrid that I ride to work because I don't care if the thing gets stolen. Obviously his complete lack of style and taste extends to everything in his life, not just his art, his movies, his music and his choice in women.

Bluenoser said...

Before it was Nova Scotia for that fact

-B

Wes said...

R@iRey

I suggest the same approach as I took on discovering this site. Spend day after joyful day working your way through each post since its inception, to the detriment of work and family, and then come on here and do the same to Snob as Chloe did to Vincent.

RB1 said...

There is nothing lower than the human race...except for the French." - Mark Twain 1878-79


Mak Twain we hardly knew ye.

am i posting appropriately ?

Jim said...

>>>since as soon as they arrive in, say, Portland, they will be forced to purchase a duplicate of the bike they just sold in, say, Brooklyn

You know, if fixters migrated from Boston to New York to Minneapolis to Austin to LA on their track bikes instead of selling them and buying new ones, I'd quit making fun of them for being poseurs and calling them fixters.

Of course then I'd call them "touring riders" and I'd make fun of them for being dorky.

But at least I'd consider them cyclists.

innerlighter said...

BGW

Continuing on that thread, you figure that bike is Vincent Price-d way above market?

innerlighter said...

Ant1

Q:What do you call 3 French Kittens in a leaky rowboat?

A: Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq.

Sans prix! Je l'aime!

innerlighter said...

Oh, and...

Q:What's the French word for "stepfather"?

A: faux pas.

HA! Je me tuer!

red neckerson said...

aint no cajuns where i live but any group thats always getting gator tail is ok by me

bikesgonewild said...

...innerlighter...ouch...

..."sacre merde, n'ai-je pas d'oeufs sur mon visage !?!?!?"...

...i figured i'd owe ant1 an apology for les mauvaises blagues anglais but non, non, non...we've been giving as well as we get, aujourd'hui...all seems tres bon in the land of "les grenouilles jambes"...

bikesgonewild said...

...& innerlighter...you forgot, as the politically correct leroy would say:-
..."merci, je serai ici toute la semaine et ne pas oublier à la pointe de votre serveuse"...

...("thank you, i'll be here all week and don't forget to tip your waitress")...

Anonymous said...

christian bales's rant might sound extreme but you'd have to know that guy he is ranting at. L. shane hurlbutt had probably been acting like his usual asshole self for the course of the film and this was just the inevitable result. well played Mr. Bale, richly deserved. Maybe hurlbutt will be available to shoot gallo's next film. It is the sort of toxic mix of personalities that produce hollywood greatness

Mongo Pusher said...

A hundy!

kale said...

Is this the pick guard of the cycling community?

You never know - I'm sure someone's "sporting" a period-correct Colnago for a vintage ride with their buddies, but I just know that they feel self conscious drinking their water out of their "modern" water bottle with a "wide mouth".

I'm still drinking dehydrated taikonaut water so I can look period-correct while 被擦掉-ing my future bike.

tàn xī...

BikeSnobAustin IV said...

Jim 7:04

I was glad to see that Austin made the list of fixed destinations, but truthfully the fixter pandemic is well controlled here. And that's a good thing.

We have much much bigger problems than Aerospokes and poseurs.

Fierce Panties said...

Here's what it looks like for when a real woman gets Fixed Forever!

cyclotourist said...

Is this the same guy in the Mercedes that likes kittens?

http://www.spike.com/video/roadside-ass/3101845 warning: NSFW

Anonymous said...

Yay!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLtbeU8FJW0&eurl=http://tmagicworld.com/page/7/&feature=player_embedded

Anonymous said...

tactics such as ebay sales of exclusively pedestrian items that have been vaulted to the highest levels of hip by his very interest gain mr gallo the publicity he so deservedly lacks. he sells his sperm for 1 million$ so why not a bmw and a story on ebay? and OF COURSE he hand painted the first one. He also invented the word PISTA and actually taught Fausto Coppi how to ride. it is in fact mr. gallo who is offering to share a ride chasing the american dream that is tOc - it is a thin ruse for his new film the brown hamster, a road movie following in the tradition of his epic bunny film and the second in the brown trilogy. as you may know, chris king is now doing a line of hubs, headsets and bottom brackets in brown in a sly 'viral' marketing campaign orchestrated by mr. gallo, who secretly invented the outboard bottom bracket bearing. mr gallow is a renowned photographer and is often paid millions of dollars to merely consider mounting a lens on one of the many cameras he has yet to sell for double the purchase price on ebay- the value having gone up by his mere nostril breath gracing the dustguard beneath the range finders. soon all bikes will be brown and coaster brakes will be the new LES staple that they always should have been. you see, while mr. gallo was in the california desert with his bunny van, fixed gears became the rage. mr gallo had planned to dominate the coasterbrake market but was foiled by delays in creating a suitable ending to brown bunny, not to mention hummers from chlowe sevegjny. anyway thank good mr snob for discovering mr gallo's deep love and intrinsic involvemnt in cyclings roots and bringing his well deserved ego back to center stage of yet another misguided subcultural trend. afterall it's been fucking years since grand royal and no one else seems to be shining much light on this american icon of self promotion. vincent gallo, republican, fascist, capitalist and now cyclist. all hail.

george said...

did no one notice that today not only did Tom Boonen take the lead in the Tour of Qatar, but all charges related to his positive test for cocaine were dropped? and you call yourself a cycling blogger.....
http://www.velonews.com/article/87182

bikesgonewild said...

...cyclotourist...great video, funny stuff for depraved minds...like mine...

...& anon 2:30am...
...fair to say vinny gallo liked his oeuvre over easy ???...

c_c_rider said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
c_c_rider said...

"put it up... then you're done... then you're duhuhnnn"

bikesgonewild said...

...upon further reflection, i have decided to buy mr gallo's brooklyn machine works bicycle...

...the bike is appropriately similar to his humor in that it's both 'flat' & 'black'...

...& yet beyond his maladjusted pretentiousness, as witness his long winded diatribe, mr gallo isn't as hard core as he'd have us believe...
...not only is that machine set up w/ a five speed & a kick-back brake, it went totally unnoticed by anyone on this site but that over-priced bmw comes equiped w/ a knog 'toad' in front & a 'hipster cycst' on the seatpost...

...how tough is that ???...that's stuff i'd run/rock/ride & i ain't no vinny gallo...

...just sayin'...

innerlighter said...

Snobby,
Too true, too true. He looks a lot like Mini Me in that photo with His Team

innerlighter said...

Now if I played this right, I just lapped the field for Thursday's first comment.

futurecomment1st!

bikesgonewild said...

...after today's "petite escapades francais", innerlighter, i got a feeling bernard hinault is gonna throw your ass (or mine for that matter) straight off the podium, 1st or not...

kale said...

Anon 2:30, et al:

All this talk of Chloë Sevigny giving dome makes me want to watch Gummo; watching Gummo makes me want to fight chairs - plus there's bikes and guns and huffing gas and it reminds me of my childhood (in Viper's suburbs).

Commie Canuck 2:21:

You totally passed up an integrated headset joke.

CommieCanuck said...

Meh..I'm obviously slow-witted. I also don't understand the genius and celebrity of Paris Hilton. Sure, I saw the porn tapes in both cases, but I need someone to dumb it down further.

Anonymous said...

Chloë Sevigny cycling in Soho

Anonymous said...

I've never heard of Joe Gallo. Then again, I'm sure he's never heard of me, despite all the famous poetry I've written, so I guess we're even.

Anonymous said...

Netfixed... brilliant!

hillier99 said...

Lantern Rouge

sanjay said...

Making money through internet is very easy nowadays. Many businesses can appear totally straightforward but you need to check them out thoroughly before deciding to make a commitment.

Millionaire maker

Anonymous said...

Alas, NYC turned LA douche ex-biker, dare I say wanna-be, still can't sell his beautiful bike that those assholes at BMW actually charged him for (don't you know who I am?).

http://cgi.ebay.com/Bicycle-BROOKLYN-MACHINE-WORKS-new-custom-road-bike_W0QQitemZ130286673481QQcmdZViewItemQQptZRoad_Bikes?hash=item130286673481&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=72%3A1205%7C66%3A2%7C65%3A12%7C39%3A1%7C240%3A1318%7C301%3A1%7C293%3A1%7C294%3A50

Hoopty Bikes said...

Gary Fisher.....one cool dude!

Anonymous said...

GALLO is a maniac. In a good way. He is fanatical about all of his interests and usually wants 'the best.' I don't like the bike for sale myself, but I bet it rides well. I've seen people pay more for way dorkier and shittier bikes, quality and appearancewise.

What bums me out is the not into biking in LA comment. Is it really that hard to bike there? It's nice out every day at least.

catharine said...

Hey ! Genuinely it's really possible to earn money online; I really felt that this website is quite impressive and a great idea to earn hundred's of Dollars daily.
VISIT : http://www.earnglobalmoney.info

tips de viajero said...

Great post.

mensajes claro said...

Nice comment , NICK.

jessie said...

I have gone through your site information and it is the same opportunity that I was looking for. The facilities, the process that what you are offering are perfectly matched to my Expectation & very soon you will get Response from my side.


Work From Home

mensajes claro said...

top ten nico

dinoibo said...

Sesli sohbet Sesli chat
Seslisohbet Seslichat
Sesli sohbet siteleri Sesli chat siteleri
Sesli Chat
Sohbet Sesli siteler
Sohbet siteleri Chat siteleri
Sohbet merkezi chat merkezi
Sesli merkezi sesli Sohbet merkezi
Sesli chat merkezi Sohbetmerkezi
Sesli Sohbet Sesli Chat
SesliSohbet Sesli chat siteleri
Sesli sohbet siteleri SesliChat
Sesli Sesli siteler
Seslimuhabbet sesli muhabbet
sesli sohbet sesli chat siteleri
sesli sohbet siteleri sesli chat
seslisohbet seslichat
seslikent sesli kent
sesli sohbet sesli sohbet siteleri
sesli chat sesli chat siteleri
seslisohbet seslichat

srmsoft said...

EARN GLOBAL MONEY shows you different earning programs from all over the globe and help people to earn money from different earning program owned by different organizations.
Click Here

mensajes claro said...

Whoo hooo

mensajes claro said...

third to tha rd!

elin.grindemyr22@gmail.com said...

Earning money online never been this easy and transparent.
You would find great tips on how to make that dream amount every month.
So go ahead and click here
for more details and open floodgates to your online income. All the best.

ekle paylas said...

nice blog Thanks for sharing. voicesohbet was really very nice.
sesli chat siteleri sesli sohbet
sesli sohbet siteleri sesli chat
seslichat seslisohbet
sesli siteleri chat siteleri
sohbet siteleri sesli siteler
voice sohbet sesli sohbet siteleri
sesli sohbet seslisohbet
sohbet siteleri sesli chat siteleri
seslichat sesli chat
herkesburda herkes burda
sohbetmerkezi sohbetmerkezi