Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Riding Balls Out: The Haters and the Hated

Further to yesterday's spirited discussions about both product placement and Tyler Hamilton, "Origamikid" has sent me the following photo, which he took in Greenville at the US Pro Championship race:


You'll note that Hamilton is not wearing the cycling-specific sunglasses pro riders usually sport. Instead, he's wearing a big pair of oversided celebutard shades. Closer inspection reveals that they are from Prada, a company which, to my knowledge, does not make cycling-specific clothing or accessories:

This raises some interesting questions. Surely, regardless of how you feel about product placement, endorsing products for money in sports is pretty straighforward. And while I'm sure there's some shady stuff going on here and there, for the most part it doesn't give off that beguiling, underhanded vibe product placement sometimes does, since everybody knows exactly what's going on. It's odd, then, that some enterprising optics manufacturer has not paid to put its glasses on the prime, freckled real estate which is Tyler Hamilton's face. Why is this? Are they afraid to associate themselves with his tarnished image? Or is Hamilton simply obeying the unwritten cultural rule that you have to wear giant designer sunglasses in public once you've been involved in a major scandal? Or, is Prada paying him to wear their glasses? I suspected that perhaps Tyler had forgotten his own sunglasses and had to borrow a pair from his wife, but he's also wearing what look like a different pair of Prada glasses here. In any case, if Prada are in fact taking baby steps towards sponsoring cyclists this is an interesting development. The've also found a good angle. "Prada: eyewear for the cyclist with something to hide."

Meanwhile, the Great Trek Bicycle Making Company keep hitting publicity paydirt. Everybody knows Craigslist is the throbbing artery through which the Zeitgeist pulses, and it now seems that the Trek SoHo is perceived as a rare bicycle:

This is a major coup for Trek, because nothing gives a bike more street cred than rarity. So move over, Bridgestone XO-1. The SoHo's coming to collectible country. And it's not even a collabo!

Of course, the real appeal of the rare bicycle is the notion that riding one confers individuality upon you. But the truth is you don't need a rare bicycle to be an individual. All you need is a message, which we saw some time ago in this photo forwarded to me by accomplished photographer Sucka Pants:

Well, it would appear that the bicycle to which this wheel was attached was insufficient to contain its owner's boundless individuality. So strong is was his aversion to haters, and so intense was his desire for them to suck his balls, that he went ahead and hand-fabricated a new frame around the wheel, complete with asymmetrical seat stays and an integrated bottle opener between the top tube and downtube, as you can see in this photo which was forwarded to me by a reader:


Different bike, same message. I like to think that as his cycling journey takes him from bicycle to bicycle over the years, he'll always somehow manage to incorporate the lime green "All you haters suck my balls" rear wheel. Even when he becomes old and inflexible and needs to ride a Rivendell with one of those three foot long Nitto quill stems.

And as far as testicles themselves go, when it comes to bicycles they're not just things for haters to suck. They can also be used to lay claim your bike, according to the proprietor of the website Teabags on Top Tubes:

Here's the basic premise, you have bikes you love, whether it be racing bikes, bitch ass fixie rides, or zoo bomb freak bikes. And, you want to show people how these bikes are yours and no one else should lay hands on them. So, I bring you teabagsontoptubes.wordpress.com.
Take your balls out and slap them on your top tube and mark your territory. Better yet, go ahead and bag your buddies bike. Yep, I know, how could this not have been thought of before.

Out of respect for decency I've censored the above image, but if for some reason you're compelled to see the original (which is obviously not safe for work, or indeed for much of anything) then go ahead and click here. Frankly, this site has opened my eyes, if only because I think I've finally discovered an acceptable use for a top tube pad. Until this guy is safely in police custody, I intend to place one on my own bike whenever it's left unattended. However, once I return to the bike I will immediately remove and incinerate the top tube pad, since it's strictly a sanitary measure. Think of it as kind of an "ass gasket" for your bike.

And speaking of haters, controversial words are being spoken in the world of fixed-gear cycling that have the potential to tear the entire "culture" asunder. I recently received an email from the publisher of an Estonian magazine called Sahtel, informing me that they've published an interview with MASH SF members Jonathan Burkett and Garret Chow, and these comments immediately leaped out at me:


Strong words indeed. It would appear that MASH is disowning the fixed-gear freestylers. I must say it's somehow satisfying to see the new guard revert to the ways of the old guard so quickly. While I think most of us would agree that BMX tricks are indeed better performed on a BMX bike, I also think it's worth noting that while "track bikes were not meant to be ridden in that manner" they were also not meant to be ridden on the road. That's why they're called track bikes. (And that's why one of the interviewees seems to be spending more time on his road bike.) But I suppose three years is enough time to appropriate a type of bicycle, ride it in a certain way, and then dismiss others who ride that same bicycle in a different way. It's sort of like wearing sneakers on your hands and then making fun of people who come along and wear them on their hands backwards. Indeed, if the cycle of "edgy to stodgy" in the fixed-gear "community" is only three years long, the Apocalypse must be close indeed.

164 comments:

sprider said...

Podium!

agent detroit said...

first!

Anonymous said...

pate

agent detroit said...

ok. second

Anonymous said...

I'da been there but nobody would work with me....

Wipeout said...

Scrotium!

Anonymous said...

lucky 7

Mark said...

Top Ten?

Anonymous said...

at least i read it first

stoned/drunkmountainbikerstorytopper said...

i'm back.

Admiral Crunch said...

Top 20?

AH said...

It looks like the "lick my balls" bike stole the asym seatstay idea from Landshark.

AH said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ant1st said...

First!

bk jimmy said...

Shamelessly sexy Rapha-Fiennes endorsement-collabo!!

Laughtrack said...

You could use your new Rapha silk scarf to wipe off your top tube...

agent detroit said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynP4NZYcifE

agent detroit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

In Boston, the hipsters have all gone Juno, there's even a Pista on CL for $250.

Anonymous said...

top 20!!!

Anonymous said...

21st!

streepo said...

I can't wait to slap my balls on every top tube I see.

veloben said...

5 minutes to flip a rear wheel? What he has to walk home for the instruction manual to put the wheel back on or is 300 seconds the accept max wait time for dumpster sex offers?

Critical Ass said...

Is it just me or does the Rock Racing kit make its riders look like a rollng white trash energy drink can?

Speaking of going Juno, I have a whole box of alloy kickstands, reflectors, stem-mounted shifters, center pull calipers, and suicide levers. $50 takes it.

Lucky 7 said...

Tyler is an ex-ski boy. Of course he wears Prada shades.


A

Mark said...

That's what I initially thought the top tube pad was for ... when you are first starting out and forget that you can't coast. Of course, the quill should probably have a junk protector on it as well.

I have learned now what it's really for along with pie plates.

Anonymous said...

People are teabagging their cogs and spokes?!?! IN MOTION?!?!

Frenchy aka Bike Boy said...

Prada is for the bitches...And Tyler certainly is one after he asked fans to send him money for the "Believe Tyler" after he cheated...seems approriate that a bitch is wearing bitch glasses.

No man worth his XY chromosone would wear Prada.

Prolly said...

The "fixed gear freestylers" had it out with Mr. Jonathan, who back pedaled [irony?] to say that he doesn't "wish tricks would disappear".

You can read his recant here

Anonymous said...

Prada's new "Vanishing Twin" model

Anonymous said...

trackbike trickery is for people who can't handle learning bmx.

leviathan said...

Prolly: Wouldn't really call that a recant. It sounds more like he's saying he's sorry for hurting your feelings.

Critical Ass said...

Prolly,

What a weenie. Why couldn't Mr. Johnathan [track] stand by his convictions?

Commiecanuk said...

The sunglasses are part of Prada's new campaign for 09, the tag line is "Prada, outfitting eurotrash and douchebags for 30 years." Features a montage of Tyler and Paris Hilton in a three-way with Tyler's evil twin. Mike Ball is in the background making that stupid sign with his hands he does in every photo ever taken of him, it's even on his passport and driver's license. Apparently, it signifies the typical number of neurons required to find his jeans reasonably priced, or it's a yakusa-like ceremony to prove loyalty, as seen here.

You misunderstood BSNYC, That Trek Soho is rare, as in uncooked in the middle. I sold a pista once with the word "tartar!" in the Craigslist title.

Anonymous said...

frenchy...it's chromosome, Tyler has XY's, yours apparently have mutated

Anonymous said...

Bottle openers on bikes are really corny. You are advertising that you drink, but are such a drinking rookie that you can’t figure out how to open a beer without a special tool. There is no excuse to be unable to open a beer bottle with found objects, and anyone. Perhaps if you live in the middle of the “god’s must be crazy” desert, you’d have issues. A bicycle is blessed with a number of components well suited to crackin’ a brew. Pedal cages work excellent, as do the gaps between cogs, as do QR skewers. My favorite method is to spin the front wheel really fast, and stick the bottle in the spokes at an angle, POP! Ah yes, drama, humor and liquid refreshment. Never fails to get a reaction.

I will give “suck my balls” man props, in that he did at least orient his corny bottle opener properly. Most lame bike/beer openers fail to remember that the goal is to open beer so that you can drink it, not spill half of it.

ant1st said...

Frenchy - I agree. Tyler is a worthless bitch of a fraud. At least his top tube is safe; it takes balls to admit you cheated and a lack thereof to pretend you didn't. I can't help but feel a little responsible for his win though. My friends and I were at the race, sporting our Dopestrong kits. I'm sure he was inspired every time he rode up paris mountain.

Funny how all the ex dopers who never admitted to it gravitated to a team whose owner's last name is ball.

Adam said...

What does going juno mean?

Strayhorn said...

Jeebus. A site devoted to guys laying their peeners and 'nads on the top tube? And chicks their bewbs?

That's pretty much the last stop on the internet. Thanks for visiting. There are no more pages.

You must now turn off your computer and go do something productive.

Go read a book or ride your bike.

James Watson said...

actually, ..it's chromosomes, one X, one Y.
Suck on my Nobel prize, bitches.

Todd said...

Really it takes that Soho owner 5 MINUTES to flip a rear wheel around?

In other news, a Mogo has been spotted out in the wild. Saw it here:

www.douchebagsonbikes.blogspot.com

ant1st said...

watson - we all know crick did all the real work.

Anonymous said...

Tyler's product placement is all messed up. Rock Racing is sponsored by De Rosa bikes and Cole wheels. Tyler won with what look like unlabeled Zipps and a Taiwan mass manufactured (go tyler!) Fuji bike.

Critical Ass said...

Going Juno = abandoning your fixie for a crappy 70's 10 speed with suicide levers, reflectors, stem mounted shifters, etc. Continue to roll pant legs up.

By the way, a chain whip is the best beer bottle opener in your tool bag.

James Huang, bike reviewer said...

I mark every bike I see with testicle sweat, after that, there is no choice but to give them to me with "James Huang" written on the top tube.

Don't wanna brag, but in college, I was known by the co-eds as James "The Wang" Huang.

The Dope said...

I'm start'n to see a pattern here.

Michael Leighton's bike that's "not for everyone"

Product placement that's not for everyone

Ex-con's still riding as social felons not palatible for everyone.

Balls on Bikes...FUCK

I must be on both the blog and the comment section that's not for everyone...

GAWDAMN! Where's 2:11 when I need him! He's not for anyone! fukin fuktard!

leroy said...

Is it just me or did anyone else notice the tasteful symmetry between the front cog of the Soho and the two ventilation fans in the background of the Craigslist photo?

Nicely done. No peeling linoleum floors or disembodied hands for this rare gem.

Thank you BSNYC for the arty photo even if it wasn't sepia toned.

But exposed bike straddling as the new golf?

Not buying it.

Did ET teabag Elliot's bike? Of course not.

Is Lance Armstrong losing sleep because he cannot fully participate in this phenomena? Doubt it.

Would Pee Wee Herman engage in this activity with his beloved bike? Not likely, notwithstanding his willingness to expose himself to new adventures.

So I'm sorry, but I'm not investing in silk Rapha protective paraphernalia just yet.

And that's where this is going, you old product placing sly boots, isn't it?

Besides, my money is tied up in 8 track tape technology.

Commiecanuk said...

...actually it was Rosalind Franklin, it is now well know that W&C stole her data, through her boss. It was the 60s, no one would believe a chick could figure out DNA, and for 20 years, no one did.

ant1st said...

One of the rock racing guys was TTing on a cervelo, without the logos covered up. Maybe DeRosa doesn't make a time trial bike, but still...

frilly said...

Snobby, thanks for giving equal time to the ladies!

Sprider, nice sprint.

Commiecanuk said...

8 tracks? total fucking fad. My smart money is still in my wax cylinders, which I just transfered over from acoustic pottery. Just don't leave one on a dashboard.

ant1st said...

commie - never had heard of her. Thanks for making me a little less dumb.

Lucky 7 said...

Balls? After seeing the transition at Ironman between bike and run, I'm never touching another person's bicycle ever. I couldn't figure out why the race vols were wearing rubber gloves to take the bikes to the racks. Then I started noticing the extra coatings on some of the Cervelos. Balls ain't shit!


A

anon 2:11 said...

I swear He is the king of going from tiny small who cares at all points, i.e. what sunglasses some rider is wearing, to big sweeping points like the Apocalypse is coming because of an interview with some MASH guys.

Is Prada paying him to wear those sunglasses? I must know! If they are, I'm not buying them but if they aren't then they are HOTT and I need them!

And talk about taking someone's words out of context. The Mash guy is saying the idea of fixed freestyling as a lucrative sport is not going to happen, not that the people doing it shouldn't be.

If he thinks its bad for the community that's his opinion but if everytime someone decided to get into another area of cycling it means the one they are branching from is dying then you are prone to panic in a way that is beyond reason.

Cycling is guilty of these crimes, in general, as much as the fixed community is, so, does that mean the sport is dying?

What should I do with my CX bike, burn it becasue it's not meant to be dismounted and carried over manmade obstacles arranged and placed on a circlular track?

Or should I just be ashamed of it?

All you haters suck my balls.

fake anon 2:11 said...

don't feed the troll.

celeriac said...

Could this be the ballsucker hater frame unpainted?

http://community.livejournal.com/bikepirates/3198244.html

ant1st said...

anon 2:11 - who cares at all? we do. and i suspect you do too, based on the fact that you keep coming back everyday to see what tiny shit "He the king" is blogging about.

go teabag someone else's top tube.

celeriac said...

Oh wait, that's a members locked post, my bad. here's the original image! link

Anonymous said...

omg. thank you so much for TEABAGS ON TOP TUBES. it's like something... i didn't even know was missing from my life. if only i had balls, i would plop them right down and snap a photo- because i want to be PART of this.
j

Anonymous said...

commie almost right, it was the early 50's. She did all the work, died because of it and Watson and Crick got all the credit. Anybody still think life is fair?

Anonymous said...

Best line from the interview:

"A milestone was the introduction of the rear Randonneur for its great skid-handling properties. This feature is crucial in a steeply-hilled city like San Francisco. Being able to stop and slow the bike more efficiently translates to being able to ride faster."

One of these days they're going to put a brake on their bike and have a revelation.

Bristol Palin said...

Snob, why haven't you returned my calls? Little Snobbie Jr. needs his daddy...come back to Anchorage!

Anonymous said...

A brake? That's a great idea. What if we, like, put a bunch of different sized gears on the bike so you could have little ones for climbng those hills and big ones for bombing down them?

Commiecanuk said...

Watson is the Tyler Hamilton of science, total douche, wears Prada, teabags pipettes.

(Prize was given in 1962, although the work was done by Franklin in the 50s..this is documented brilliantly in a Nova episode on PBS.)

The Nightshift Chronicler said...

I actually have the soho and so far it's been a good bike. I'm also a bit of a novice, so any bike is nice to me at this point. that said, i found it odd that the person selling this bike had only ridden it twice and now feels compelled to get a new bike with more bells and whistles. I had an eye for one of those snazzy hipster bikes as well, but I realized that all i needed was something that got me from point a to point b and didn't scream out for attention when i locked it up to go inside a store. the soho is not much on bells and whistles.

Henry ford said...

anon 2:57...cool. but what if we then added two more wheels, and some kind of power device to help with those hills, and a large, heavy steel cage to keep the water out on rainy days? we could call it a "fellatio" or "blowjob" or something.

leroy said...

Commiecanuck --

Wax cylinders? Great idea!

An even better idea if you leave them on the dashboard. Then they make a great depilatory.

No more shaving and really, what better use could there be for a Johnny Mathis recording?

"Chances are 'cause I wear a silly grin..." Rip! Ouch. Hmmmm, missed a spot.

Anon 2:11 said...

Yes, I know there are other places on the web where I could go and be greeted as a peer, or even looked up to as a god. Well, at least there are blogs out there where I would be considered well read and maybe even an astute observer. OK, there are some places where I would not stand out so much, with lots of other dumb asses posting even worse stuff than mine. The point is, you schmucks, I am paying you a compliment with my presence. I would rather be the Idiot Troll of the Month at BSNYC than a respected member of some bunch of dorks just like myself.

Anonymous said...

re: prolly
oh the irony of someone getting all up in arms in defense of their "culture" while they can't wait to be sponsored by some overpriced clothing company. BORING.

the internet said...

Anon 2:11 said...
Yes, I know there are other places on the web where I could go and be greeted as a peer, or even looked up to as a god.


Dude, those places don't require the knowledge to start up a computer and live somewhere with electricity, soup cans strung together with shoe laces cave-to-cave.
Here's the portal

Commiecanuk said...

I just got the Bristol Palin reference...whooooshh..

... said...

I'm from Portland, OR. That's a long way from NYC...

Critical Ass said...

Idiot Troll of the Month

Folks, the name Anon 2:11 contest has just closed. The winner is Anon 2:11, er, ITOTM

bk jimmy said...

Maybe 2:11 is actually Opinionated Cyclist, wearing his war paint, gettin' all verbose on the keyboard.

Cottered Crank said...

I was going to suggest PSRW, or Pompous Self Righteous Windbag for the fake attorney, but I see the contest has closed. Oh well, ITOTM works for me. But, you know, it's a new month. Aren't we due for a new troll? This one sure is getting tiresome. So predictable. So stale.

Anonymous said...

He is sponsored by Prada! article here

ant1st said...

I like ITOTM, it sounds like some apple product design to help native american tribes with their internet presence.

Ev said...

The dude with the wacky frame and "SUCK MY BALLS" wheel came into an LBS in Austin a while go that I was working at. Cool guy and he learned to build frames from Yamaguchi. Anyway, just some backstory to the bike ... I hadn't even seen the fork to it much less the paint or components a few months ago.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...

He is sponsored by Prada! article here


Hmmm, sounds phony. Lookup the link before clicking it and you'll see it's the rick-roll thing.

Gerchof Sirdribeldik said...

It is well-known that Russian discovered structure of DNA and criminals Watson and Crick stole them from us.

Yaroslav, little Cyrillic joke: you have milk but we get крим. Little joke kills them at Sturgeon Casino at Pinsk.

Anonymous said...

Gerchof - What do you know about sastre joining katusha?

Anonymous said...

hey ant1st, what's with posting "First" in the middle of the comments every day? Is that some kind of passive aggressive thing?

Anonymous said...

Weren't the MASH-tards the ones who popularized fixed gear freestyling the way we think of it today in the first place?

anon 2:11 said...

They did it again!

You guys need to get organized.

ant1st said...

anon 4:25 - it's not passive aggressive, it's just the best I can come up with. I try to actually play the game, but snobby always posts while I'm at lunch. Instead of being a loser every day (at this game that is, real life is a different matter), I made up my own race.

Anonymous said...

ant1st -

Now that's the kind of winning attitude we could use more of around here!

-Anon 4:25

Anonymous said...

werent bmxs meant for racing on a track before they were used for doing tricks on?

atomicecho said...

Prada may not make cycling specific gear but they do make sport specific gear under Prada Sport label. Have done for years. It's actually made by another company for them, in the same way Adidas cycle gear was just rebadged Mavic stuff

Skidmark pdx said...

One could also say that BMX bikes were not meant to be ridden on the street being that BMX stands for Bicycle Motocross.

Everyone likes to pretend that track bike geometry is so unique, when it is really close to the geometry of a criterium road frame. They make sense on the street anyways, the steep angles and short wheelbase are good for dodging traffic.

Anon 2:11 said...

Excuse me and sorry for the delay. I'm still wiping cum off myself from yesterday. I know I should probably get my own blog.
The community would benefit from it. No one is checking the Snob.

Having a blog and not being held accountable for the things said on it would be like me not having sex with my self. Like stated yesterday. When the other commenter correctly guessed that I do have a little "peener" and I do like to tuck into my "mangina".

Then of course there are the other two posters, posting as me as imposters.

Pretty soon they'll be more. But that's not the point the point is that I do not like Snob, and I want everyone to know that I do not like Snob.

Anonymous said...

Oh, I see now. You have an axe to grind. What a pathetic little wanker.

Anonymous said...

Hey j, don't feel left out, didn't you see the titties on top tubes pic? P.s. is this Jamie, the winner of the car/subway/bike race?

AnnaZed said...

frilly said... Snobby, thanks for giving equal time to the ladies!

Speak for yourself there lass, though frankly this remark adds fuel to the fire ignited by my conviction that frilly is (like 75% of all flirtatious female handles on the net) in fact a late middle aged homosexual man.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that! (besides the lying and misrepresenting part).

Just sayin’ ….

…Yes, I know there are other places on the web where I could go and be greeted as a peer…

Really? Why do I find this so hard to believe? Is that like one of those Grouch Marx club thingys?

anon 2:11 said...

See, ITOTM, we "impersonate" you in order to make fun of you. Have you looked into maybe purchasing a sense of humor? This is the internet and all, so you might get lucky. Maybe try ebay.

Anonymous said...

"be greeted as a peer"... why indeed, NAMBLA is always looking for new members 2:11.

Your arrogance and pathetic attempts to lecture the audience at large are indicative of your own insecurities. You attempt to hijack this blog because you lack the talent to establish your own, nevermind one with the membership of BSNYC's. Call it what you will, but you're fooling nobody but yourself with your pseudointellectual posturing and self promotion. You're the joke and the only person who doesn't get it is you. No doubt this is reflective of your real life as well, which explains why you spend everyday posting your drivel here. Do your mommy and daddy know what you're doing in the basement?

Critical Ass said...

Don't like other trolls trolling your I.D.? Get a Google account. It takes 2 minutes to set up (or 10 minutes if you are that guy with the Soho). It's so simple that even Kevy had a Google account.

frilly said...

annazed that is freaking hysterical. I am without a doubt 100% all woman! Ain't no lyin' or misrepresentin' going on here.

And there are a couple of people here who know this to be true-not that I'm asking anybody to step forward.

I was just so thrilled after yesterday's skankfest. And I didn't even mind the boobies on today's site because I can definitely say mine are bigger. And real.

Anonymous said...

frilly: pics or it ain't true.

apologies in advance, but you had to know it was comin with a boast like that...

AnnaZed said...

Well, not to be a spoil sport boobie fans (heck, you haven't seen any anyway), but this frilly "I'm so sexy" stuff if for me taking on troll-like dimensions.

Just sayin' ...

AnnaZed said...

if = is, sorry

frilly said...

Its not a boast, just saying compared to yesterday's parade of surgical enhancements.

And, besides that, I don't just trot my goods out for public consumption. As if.

Anonymous said...

I think I see a cat fight coming, I will just sit here and watch

Andy Pandy said...

Tried to look away but did not. Now have some god awful images seared into my memory.

annazed , Frilly is by all accounts all women, not that I know that from personal experience but PEZ pictures do not lie

Andy Pandy said...

Conversely does that mean that 75% of the contributors posing as men are middle aged lesbians????

AnnaZed said...

That's nice dear. I'm just wondering if you have anything to say or if you even form thoughts about bikes as opposed to how sexy you are.

duke said...

Fixed gear freestyle is one of the dumbest things that one could do on a bike. It is like a cross country skier trying to do tricks on cross country skies! And that would just be stupid.

frilly said...

annazed-Admittedly I do get a bit carried away but to compare me to ITOTM...ouch.

I do think about bikes and bike stuff a lot. Read cyclingnews & velonews daily. I am a self-confessed ProTour junkie. I can't wait for ToM and not just to drool over the riders. The last day is a criterium circuit in downtown St. Louis and it is amazing to watch. You can't really get a feel for how fast these guys actually are until you see it live.

AnnaZed said...

Bike thoughts! OK, good.

frilly said...

I am super stoked cuz Mark Cavendish is coming for Columbia & that last bunch sprint is going to be awesome! I thought it was kind of weird that he was skipping the Tour of Britain. Somebody at a local bike race Sunday told me that he was getting $15k to skip Britain & come here instead. So, whatev, its just going to be too cool.

Anonymous said...

Apparently Frilly is an avatar of David Duchovny. Who knew?

A. Homer Hilsen said...

All you Rivendell haters can suck my balls!

Bombadil said...

...and suck my foot-long Nitto stem!

potbelly biker said...

this whole track bikes on streets thing is interesting. i am in my late 30s and rode as a messenger in sf for 4 years in the mid 90s. many of the messengers especially those on the gravy train would never use tracks bikes... they would complain that the constant stopping and starting would hyper extend their muscles around their knees. hence fixed gears being more appropriate for the track where there can be a wind down or gradual slowing. the fixie seems like a dubious everyday lifestyle choice.
one other comment: from my education on these things, track bikes picked up in popularity on the street and with messengers for two reasons, 1 they were easy to maintain, and 2 they were cheaper relative to other good bikes (mountain and road of the late 80s early 90s). it strikes me funny that what was a personal purchase for frugality and economy became the utter absurdity it is now.
btw, i am dusting off the three road bike in storage at my moms in philly and selling them NOW. this is the height of the market.

c.p. said...

I'm wid frill' totally jonesin on the Cavo vibe. gotta heterosexual man crush on that bastard....vive le tour de mizzou.

not that there's anything wrong with that...

just sayin...

I do hate the way he speaks tho...
after a long stage with drool coming down his face.

I wish he'd take a note outta Cipo's book and hire a personal hairdresser/coiffeur-est to purty his ragged ass up for the post sprint interview.

'course I'm old and cranky when it comes to those things.

c.p. said...

I'm a middle aged homosexual lesbian posing as a...

wait I'm confused...

am I straight?...

Gawdammit I musta been in the closet all these years.

I'm fucking straight gawdammit!

Gotta hurry up and tell pops.

Anonymous said...

lollersaurus CX!!!

c.p. said...

"don't just trot my goods out for public consumption"

ahem

uuuuuhhh

'zat mean thar be goods fer trottin out, that b for not public consumption? Real live goods and not the pixil-y kind?

ahem

uhhhh.....

(sigh)

Anonymous said...

Frilly-
How often do you get proposals of marriage/cohabitation, based off the persona you have created here? All I can say is "GGGRROOOOWWW"! My wife agrees. I was the "mound of panties" commenter a while back. Oh, the imagery . . .

frilly said...

Easy on the non-bike sexual banter c.p. or I'm gonna get the annazed lecture again. Sheesh.

Anonymous said...

No sexual(at least overt)overtones intended; I come to you with a pure heart and cloistered loins. Not trying to shoot your jam session down by any means. As for the "non-bicycle" part, Did I tell you I received a sweet-ass dos eno FW in the mail today? mmmmm, nerdy, AND pricey. SO worth it. That ought to satisfy all the thought police out there. . .

anon 2:11 said...

I guess youa re missing the funny. Ok, you guys are making fun of me, that's cool. It hasn't really been funny in itself yet.

But what is funny is when someone impersonates me and someone else insults them thinking they are me. Which is even funnier because the original impersonator was trying to make it obvious he wasn't me.

See, funny. Not as funny as balls on top tube pads but not everyone has such class.

I must say I'm glad to see Him make sure his readers have a direct link to a different part of sexual anatomy each and every day. It's just so American and really, why the internet is succesful in the first place.

If you guys want to see talented writers that are also proponents of a subculture go check out penny-arcade.com or pvponline.com.

They, my friends, make Snob look like a preschooler.

frilly said...

anon 10:38-three on the co-habitation, none for marriage. Figures. And, a lot of what I say is really me. I can't help myself, I've always been a huge flirt. And I really am a serious ProTour fan.

Your wife & you have discussed me?!? Oh dear.

My apologies, I only have a vague recollection of the 'mound of panties' post.

Anonymous said...

well, no apologies needed- "vague" is better than "no". Your a bad ass. Just wanted to publicly acknowledge that fact. My wife is a bad ass too. Back to bikes and related sundries . . .

Grant Petersen said...

If you continue with those smart ass Rivendell comments Snob, I'm gonna hunt you down and twine and shellac your handlebar tape.

frilly said...

Oh, andy pandy, meant to say thanks honey bunch.

angryasian said...

Huh, guess I never noticed until now that someone can post comments under anyone's name they choose. Interesting.

maynard said...

Hey, Grant, could you bring a few bars of pine tar soap next time ya visit? Things have been gettin' a bit wild around here lately.

Dangerous said...

let me just say:
love mine; hate yours

Russell said...

2:11

I've seen that Penny Arcade strip before and wasn't thrilled. Perry Bible Fellowship is much better.

sprider said...

angryasian, Look at the color of the poster's name. You may impersonate anyone whose name is in black. Names in blue are "Account" holders, and are more difficult to fake.

Frilly, thanks for the support, I owe it all to time in the saddle (and taking a rare lunch break at home today). Hope you've got everything set for the ToM, we might run down for the finish in St Louis next weekend. See you there?

Anonymous said...

Rereading this the second time and taking note of the title made me realize how well crafted this blog was. Kudos to you BSNYC!

Idiot Troll of the Month at BSNYC said...

Hey Anon 2.11 that is my mantle and I own the troll territory surrounding it. Get your own gig and fly fly away

Yaraslav Popovich said...

Gerchof, please stop breaking my limited concentration. I am trying to remember Robbie Mac's phone number errr "1300 get me a lead out man" ... Back in the USSR as the fab four went

bikesgonewild said...

...i had an awesome road ride today & then some great farmers market items made for a tasty, healthy dinner but tsk, tsk, i see there's some unfinished business to attend to...& it's not snobs nature to address these kind of matters, soooo...

...anon 2:11...we (you know, the regulars) have been through this kinda bullshit w/ others, that you so disingenuously propose as "information & enlightenment" (my choice of words, but that's basically it, right ???...that little "superiority" thingy you're working on) regarding this blogsite...

...i imagine that your consistent need to be included & your lack of regard to the appeals of so many, suggest your 'intelligence quotient' is not quite as high as you give yourself credit for...

...therefore you might like to reconsider your magnanimous 'contributions' & see them for what they really are...need i spell it out for you ???...& hey, recognizing & admitting the true nature of your motives is bound to raise that IQ a few points...

...you write "If you guys want to see talented writers that are also proponents of a subculture go check out blah, blah, blah.com."
..."They, my friends, make Snob look like a preschooler."
...

...dude, please, you've got no friends here, but i digress...

..well then...the aforementioned 'we', through guilt by association, are obviously communicating on that same preschool level & in case you're not astute enough to observe, are simply quite happy in our ignorance...

...mind if we enjoy our solidarity, as stupid & unsophisticated as it must seem to one such as yourself, who has the need to see himself as, well, what exactly ???...a cut above ???...hey, your call...

...but remember one salient point, 2:11, as you close the 'window' behind you...we don't really give a fuck...

...thanks for your cooperation...

anon 2:11 said...

You sound ridiculous.

anon 2:11 said...

Oh, and you can like or not like Penny Arcade, that is fine. I don't use them as an example becasue I want people to like the content.

Scott over at pvp, is much more a content site as he has branched into just about all forms of media. So if you don't like him either fine. But those two are the big dogs of that culture.

But, you have to respect what Penny Arcade has accomplished and now, having gained readership and credibility, use said assets to benefit people inside and outside of the community.

I dare anyone to go over and read about Child's Play and still think they don't reserve some modicum of respect.

You guys think I operate from some garden of random hate but the truth is that there is example after example of talented people doing good that started with nothing more than free content.

And then you have Snob, who built his readership around the "fuck everyone trying to make a difference, it can't be done" mentality and it hurts the culture.

I know you "too school for school" people scoff at stuff like this because it is intimidating.

Maybe he has good reason. Maybe he tried once and failed which left this cursory knowledge of the industry mixed with bitter resentment of people who try to accomplish in it.

Anonymous said...

You know, I tried the Prada route, but they just didn't work for me...

I've gone for the poor man's cycling glasses ala eye protection from Home Depot:
http://www.homedepot.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/Navigation?Ntk=AllProps&N=10000003+90401+500185&storeId=10051&catalogId=10053&langId=-1

-Leroy Brown

ant1st said...

ITOTM - you're so right about everything. I'm glad you came along and managed to enlighten us all, when the previous ITOTMs failed. It's like a huge weight has been lifted off our shoulders. Your job here is done.

e-rok said...

why is that other RR guy straddling a Fuji? Shouldn;t he be resting his nuts on a DeRosa? What the fuck is going on?

anon 2:11 said...

You're Welcome.

Critical Ass said...

***They, my friends, make Snob look like a preschooler.***

It's almost time for cookies and milk!

leroy said...

Anon 2:11 --

"Too school for school"?

Well golly, I never heard that one before.

Free tip: you really, really need to edit yourself. Seriously. You bury ho-hum observations in mediocre and repetitive prose.

If you were hopeless, I wouldn't point this out. That would be mean.

But until you have something interesting to say or you develop a voice or style, I've got to agree with BGW.

It's kinda like that Grateful Dead song:

"Please don't dominate the rap Jack
if you got nothing new to say
If you please don't back up the track
This train got to run today."

Try humming New Speedway Boogie on your next ride. The chorus is great for climbing and descending.

frilly said...

Sprider, for sure I'll be there. If you come down for Saturday too, you can catch the finish in St. Charles. Should also be a sprint however last year the breakaway actually stuck. Sort of anti-climatic but still fun to watch.

Would love to meet up with you & the Mrs./SO.

ITOTM 2:11 said...

And then you have Snob, who built his readership around the "fuck everyone trying to make a difference, it can't be done" mentality and it hurts the culture.

Total bullshit. Snob makes me laugh even when my ragged worn self sez "can't be done".

Russell said...

The so-called "troll" problems around here are intensified and prolonged by posters like BGW who add boatloads of fuel to the fire.

Anonymous said...

Why is it that you "guys" can blather on about draping your genitalia over things but the minute a woman makes similar comment about her boobs you're all over her (and she's accused of trollery to boot?) Is it any wonder most women pick gender-neutral handles on the 'Net? Jesus!

Anonymous said...

anon 11:44, don't know if you are talking about annazed but think about it

annazed = Anna zed = Anna Z

its a girl fight, no guys jumping on a flirty girl

Anonymous said...

An injured Deep V-sporting fixie from San Francisco, for your viewing pleasure... http://wheelgirl.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/08/26/ericdeepvistired.jpg

and anyway said...

Jesus is hardly a "gender neutral" handle.

jobst said...

Now that's a Flat Tire!

Vertically stiff but laterally displaced. And not enought spokes.

bikesgonewild said...

...moi, russel ???...i was a least trying to draw the troll out of his hole but he's very limited & he does know his limits...

...i'd have to guess by the way he goes on about the links he's posted, that he assumes we'd bother to go there to, ah, see if he's right, but personally i find him to be like certain kinds of advertising that is so egregiously offensive that while i do make note of it, it's w/ the intent of never buying the product...whereas i might even drop a line to that advertiser expressing my disgust...

...but you are correct...even a two word response like "fuck you" is grist for his mill, or fuel for his fire, so perhaps abstinence is the best policy...

...& if you need someone to blame, hey, feel free...

...just sayin'...

Anonymous said...

An injured Deep V-sporting fixie from San Francisco, for your viewing pleasure... http://wheelgirl.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/08/26/ericdeepvistired.jpg

no way man, DeepVs are BOMBPROOF! BOMBPROOF! I tell you!

AnnaZed said...

And then you have Snob, who built his readership around the "fuck everyone trying to make a difference, it can't be done" mentality and it hurts the culture.

Ah, wait a minute … what? I may be just a girl but I’m pretty sure that Snobby had no such intensions when he created this site.

Just sayin’ ….

"too school for school"

Again, what?

And Leroy I was with you until the Grateful Dead lyrics, Jesus man, yike!

sine0wave said...

Snob, Trek is now shipping their scenester bikes with a belt drive as opposed to the chain that was pictured.

megan said...

That Trek owner is selling their bike because they want "something with drops and toe clips." Because unfortunately, that bike cannot accomodate either one. Because all the components are just welded onto the bike.

Anonymous said...

suck on my balls and cum on my face you little wanker. To the person that wrote this blog on cyclying. Please excuse the initial paragraph. it was a google expression of how i felt at 5am drunk as a badgers arse. Feal free to check. But all the same this site and the words you wrote were the first google hit that came up from the randon search i made. Understand my baby son has a German toy - whiney the poo. and every 3rd thing this toy say's sounds very much like the english equivalent of "cum in my face" which me and my mates find very funny. Although my Miss's does not (She is German-hence the sence of humer failer), Which makes it even more funnny. This is why i have found my self expressing to my self in disscused of another persons actions on to me as "cum in my face" which i addmit is not somthing one would say outside of mental thought. Its just that i here it every 3rd time my son hits this bloody toy. So i here it far to much and its in my head like a shit tune that u can not get rid of. Then there is the rest of my search " such on my balls, you little wanker. I felt this way due to the fact that One little wanker thought he could force himself epon Trish (My fiancy) tonight and he dident do this once but 3 times. Now im not a viallent man but im sure as shit not a push over. My girl can take care of her self so i left her to it. Trish fended him off and then he came back for another go. Now as i said im not a viallent man. Im a Carm and collective man. so instead of introducing this guys face to the floor i did what i always do. I invite this man to the bar for a drink on me (I.E I Pay). I do this because i have been in the same shoes as this guy - had a bit to much to drink and chaseing a girl thats not interested, Only to get hit real fucking hard in the face by some pist off guy that's with the unwilling girl im persueing. But this cunt was not thursty, he was still fueled by the adrenillin running from his win on his colledge football game (this is what You call soccer not yanky football, but understand its the same people doing a different sport in a diifferent place) so he thought he would reject my offer and challenge me by standing in my face and so i faced him off and as i had allready bought 6 of his mates a tiquila they seemed quite happy to hush him away. any way an hour later this mother fucker comes back for a dance and yep he fancy,s a dance with Trish at which point trish is now (fuck off and do one) at the same time im talking and drinking with another one of his team mates. nxt com

Anonymous said...

i told him to sort out his boy or i will. He tries his best but with no sucksess
so i grip the twat by the back of his neck and back of his jeans and drive him out the club past his team mates, Bouncers (security) and past the jam rolls (TARTS). and so when i got home one hour ago i vented my thrustration by typing (suck on my balls and cum on my face you little wanker) into google. i just wish in the past growing up in germany being brittish i was given half the chance this basterd got to night. so if you do read this shit understand im very drunk so excuse the grammer the spelling and punctuation. u writing when you have drunk the amount i have then try spell checking when drunk on a german computer even if your sober it still says every thing is spelt fucking wrong cus its a german computer. trust be im that drunk i tried and this is my fucking computer. Well its trish,s but i paid for it. If your the guy that wrote the article that i spent more time reading than i did writing please get in touch.hangloosewez18@hotmail.com Boy ive never read so much shit about so very little. what the fuck. your writing was amazing its just a shame you were talking about nothing which is what inspired me to talk about my night. Pleae dont email me about my incorrections on my writing i ignolage you are fare superior that me even if i had not spent 9 hours on the piss. i only hope you have found a real use for your writing skills that you could possible attach to justify the time wasted reading your dribble and time wasted writing this dribble. well the suns coming up im not fealing fucked anymore i might go have a shit,shower,shave and fuck shit out trish which im sure she will not injoy but im not realy going to ask. and i can do this as my sons not back from grandparents till this afternoon. much love - Wez

Anonymous said...

i told him to sort out his boy or i will. He tries his best but with no sucksess
so i grip the twat by the back of his neck and back of his jeans and drive him out the club past his team mates, Bouncers (security) and past the jam rolls (TARTS). and so when i got home one hour ago i vented my thrustration by typing (suck on my balls and cum on my face you little wanker) into google. i just wish in the past growing up in germany being brittish i was given half the chance this basterd got to night. so if you do read this shit understand im very drunk so excuse the grammer the spelling and punctuation. u writing when you have drunk the amount i have then try spell checking when drunk on a german computer even if your sober it still says every thing is spelt fucking wrong cus its a german computer. trust be im that drunk i tried and this is my fucking computer. Well its trish,s but i paid for it. If your the guy that wrote the article that i spent more time reading than i did writing please get in touch.hangloosewez18@hotmail.com Boy ive never read so much shit about so very little. what the fuck. your writing was amazing its just a shame you were talking about nothing which is what inspired me to talk about my night. Pleae dont email me about my incorrections on my writing i ignolage you are fare superior that me even if i had not spent 9 hours on the piss. i only hope you have found a real use for your writing skills that you could possible attach to justify the time wasted reading your dribble and time wasted writing this dribble. well the suns coming up im not fealing fucked anymore i might go have a shit,shower,shave and fuck shit out trish which im sure she will not injoy but im not realy going to ask. and i can do this as my sons not back from grandparents till this afternoon. much love - Wez

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